On Display with Melissa Gorga - Turning the Page (w/ Jana Kramer)

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

Melissa invites the woman who does it all, Jana Kramer, onto the show to talk about finding trust in a partner, treating yourself as good as you treat others, and why there's often a bright future for those who learn from the past.  Jana also gives us an update on her family, and why timing is everything when it comes to throwing a 40th birthday party.  For more of Jana's story, grab a copy of The Next Chapter, out October 24th.  This week's sponsors:  Chime - No-Fee Banking, Get Paid up to 2 Days Early: Chime.com/Melissa LiquidIV - Hydration Made Easy: LiquidIV.com, promo code: MELISSA (20% off) OSEA - Undaria Exfoliate and Glow Duo: Oseamalibu.com, promo code: DISPLAY (10% off) Peloton - At-Home Workouts: OnePeloton.com/app-membership (30-day free home-trial) PlutoTV - True-Crime TV: Pluto.tv Progressive Insurance - "Name Your Price Tool": Progressive.com ZocDoc - Quality Doctors at Your Fingertips: ZocDoc.com/Melissa 

You can still go through an immense amount of pain and come out on the other side and still choose to love yourself and here's how. What's up everyone? I hope you're having a great week and I'm really, really looking forward to this adorable guest that I have today. I had her on the show like a little over maybe it was like a year and a half ago. And she is still one of the most candid and kind people that we've ever had on the show. She's a very successful country music artist who wrote one of the best and most honest songs of

the last couple years. It's called The Story. She's an incredible actress who you've probably seen in One Tree Hill and Friday Night Lights and she's the host of a great podcast called Wine Down. And most importantly, she's the author of this brand new book called The Next Chapter. I am so happy to have Janet Kramer here with us today. Hi, honey. How are you? Hi, and good. I just love you so much. I feel the same. We just have that. Like I wish you lived nearby.

I feel like we would do lunch and dinner all the time. 1000% we would be like wine, lunch, dinner, girlfriends, mom friends. Like it's just either certain mom friends that you connect with and go, okay, like I could hang out with them. And you're, I've always thought of you as that person. Yes, same. Like, you know, when you go to school

and you're at the pickup line or waiting and you're just like, yeah, she'd be my friend. Me and you, we'd be hitting it off. We'd be hitting it off. For sure. And that's hard to find because there's, I feel like mom friends, they already have their group and their click. So we were just talking about that last night.

Like it's hard to get in on someone's like, you know, mom friend group. So yeah, that is so frank and lakes, by the way, where I live. It's very like mom clicky and like their groups are set and they have their certain people. They even name themselves. Like groups are called different things.

Is it like that in Nashville? Well, I mean, we, I'm happy because I have a group that we call ourselves the Queendom, but like, it's, we're just best friends. But there are, yeah, I mean, it's definitely a thing, especially if you've grown up with the kids too, but I've just always tried to be nice to everyone and let's all like hang out, but yeah. Oh, for sure, see, it goes on everywhere. You guys named yourselves as well. See, I knew this. I knew this.

I apologize in advance for my horse voice. It sounds like I just woke up, but I'm obviously filming the show right now and I threw a huge party last night for my boutique for envy and we had a big like fashion show and I just keep going and going and going and my voice will not come back. Like no matter, it's been months. So I feel like my listeners are getting used to it by now and they're just like, whenever I'm a listener, you're never going to have your voice back. But just to where we fight with is that why the voice is gone? Like who are we screaming at? I need to know who to be like. I can be on the same page. I mean, how much time do you

have? No, but no, in all seriousness, it's not me really yelling at anyone at all. It's just a lot of movement, a lot of talking. I am overworked and underpaid. So that's just what's going on these days. I'm just exhausted. So I think like I need to rest my voice for a good week and it's just not gonna happen. It's never gonna happen anytime soon. So that's that.

But enough about me. How are you? How are those beautiful kids? Well, what's going on over there in that house? How's you? How are those beautiful kids? What's going on over there in that house? How's life? The kids are great Jolie is It's interesting. So now she's in second grade and something switched this year where she's just

She's a little sassy and she's You know kind of like mom like I'm just like wait a minute, like I'm your girl, like you're my girl, like she's just, I don't know, she's, she's, she's very spicy right now and then my son, Jayce is doing great. He's, uh, he's still in preschool. He starts kindergarten, hard in kindergarten next year and then just growing a baby. So I know congratulations. How far along are you? So I know congratulations how far along are you? So I have six, I don't know when this air is, but I have six weeks left today like filming wise.

Oh my God, so you're getting ready to go. Are you uncomfortable? How is this pregnancy? Is it like different from the others? It's different in a lot of ways, where like I know this is my last one. I did not think I was going to get pregnant again at all. Even post dating, I'd be like, oh no, I'm done.

I don't want kids sort of or any more kids. But then I met my fiance and I was just like, well, maybe. And I'd love to create something together. But I didn't know because I'm going to be 40 and I've had multiple miscarriages, so I just didn't know if it would even work. And, you know, I fought for my two pregnancies with my last two and in this time around, it was the first month, was on no IVF medicine, which I had to be on the last ones. And so it's just, it's insane how it all has worked out.

And I think it has a lot to do with I wasn't stressed this go around, you know? So I think your body kind of, for me at least, I think that was a huge impact. But it's been great. I mean, my fiance is the most caring, loving, just so supportive. and that feels different. Obviously, this go around, and just to have the kids

really excited, and then knowing it's my last time, that feels exciting, and also, just I'm kind of cherishing the last six months going, all right, I'm six weeks, like, okay, I'm not going to feel these kicks anymore. And this is the last time my body will be going through this. Are you like a happy pregnant person? Or are you like, are you one of those who like loves to be pregnant? I personally do not like being pregnant just because I'm still nauseous.

I've been, I was nauseous with my first two. I still get nauseous now. In the mornings and night, it's just, like I can't eat a lot of stuff, it just makes me sick. So I'm not, I envy the women that are like, I love being pregnant, I'm just like, oh, that must be nice.

But it's a miracle what our bodies can do. Yeah, I was never one who loved to be pregnant. It never, it never, like was amazing for me. I never was like, oh my god, this is wonderful. And like I love, I was just like, I'm gonna throw up how long until I get this child out of my body. That was literally all I used to say. I was like, am I the only girl who does not enjoy this? Like there's zero enjoyment for me with being pregnant. And I used to feel bad about it because I'm like, why does everyone say it's so beautiful and they love it?

And I just was nauseous from morning, noon, and night, like all the time. Wait, when do you turn 40? When are you joining my club over here? It's a fabulous club, by the way, to join. I'm so excited, but to be 40, here's the irony and this is where God, you know, they always say, you know, God has plans and he's the one that really makes

the plans. Well, because my whole probably since I was, yeah, 30 years old, I've been in my brain just being like, I'm going to throw the biggest 40th birthday party of all time. Like, it's going to be epic. We're going to be like on an island, on a beach somewhere, fireworks, I mean, just the whole thing. And my friends have known this since about 30 that I was going to throw this epic 40th birthday party. So when I went to the gynecologist, or my OB, when

I found out I was pregnant, my due date is on my 40th birthday. Oh my God. You have got to be hitting me. Like I was like, what? And so with my delivering early just because I'm having some guide board complications. So I delivered now two weeks prior to my 40th. But yeah, I'll be 40 in postpartum style. So yeah.

Yeah, you'll be 40 with a two week old, basically. Yeah, it's gonna be great. But I'm having a birthday party. I told my girlfriends, I was like, I don't want a shower, but I still want my 40th birthday. So we're gonna do like a murder mystery party at the house. So I'm gonna stop. I love that.

Of course, baby. And just, yeah, I was like, I have to do something. It's like my 40th, so. Oh, but I'm that. Of course, baby. And just, yeah, I was like, I have to do something. It's like my 40th, so. Oh, but I'm close. Of course. The more I've gotten closer to 40, just the less crap I've given. Oh, it's so freeing. I can't even tell you.

And you just feel like, honestly, I mean, you just like come into your own in a way where you're just like, yes, especially, you know, for housewife situations that I have to go through too. Just like, yep, that's what I said. That's what I mean. And I'm protecting my peace. And that's what I'm going to do because I'm going to do me and worry about what I want now and my life and whatever I'm doing.

So it's so freeing. And I felt that way, honestly, from like 40, 41, I really felt like I was like, I just don't give a fuck if you agree with me or not, but like this is how we're gonna roll. And it just, it happens like overnight and I had been waiting all of my thirties to like get to that point where I just cared less about what everyone else thought about me

and it really, really does happen in your 40s. And you don't, I remember, and I'm sure you too, remember looking at our parents, thinking that that was old. I'm like, what? I am thriving. I'm like, this is, I old, what? Like, I don't, it's just, and you, having a baby, you're really not gonna feel,

like you're still gonna be in the baby years, you know, so I hope you feel young actually having a little newborn around I don't know, but it is it is a blessing, but it's so interesting too because I was at I ran into an X of mine at somewhere and I remember because I still know the narrative that like he's going around saying, and before it used to drive me crazy, to be like, no, I'm not that person anymore. And no, like I've like, I've changed and I've grown and I've healed. And now I'm just like, you can honestly think whatever you want, I don't care.

You know, like I have that like, that hold or that, even the power to let them have. As like, I know my truth, and I've stepped into that. And I'm, that's, that's, I don't really care who, who or what or the other people that, you know, the nasty people online, like I truly don't care what they think. Good. That's the place to be. So you don't have to be an athlete to need extra hydration throughout the day. Trust me, I know, from Zoom meetings and workouts to long travel days, fun nights out. Liquid IV makes it easy to stay hydrated.

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That's 20% off. Anything you order when you shop better hydration today using code Melissa at liquid IV.com. What's up everyone? As you know, the summer sun is great, but it's not until fall that we really realize the toll those sun filled days have taken on our skin. I know I say this every year in the fall, it's time to revamp. That's why I want to tell you guys about OCS, specifically,

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Saving glow with the Andaria Exfoliate and Glow Duo. It's the perfect way to try two of OCEA's best-selling products at an incredible value. And when you get this handy duo together, you'll save 16% plus with my promo code, you'll get an additional 10% off. So here's the deal. Right now, OCA has a specific discount. Just for our listeners, get 10% off your first order site wide with code display at ocmmalibu.com. Head to OS EA Malibu.com, use code display and you will get 10% off. I mean, first of all, your fiance, let's talk about him for a second. So handsome, which we would expect, right? But just seems very likable and like very genuine. Talk to me about

him for a minute. Uh, so he is, he's very, I will say this, I always say like, oh, he loves and respects me so much. And I think I had kind of a light bulb moment, I don't know, like a month or so ago, where I was like, oh, he respects me because for the first time I've ever felt respect, it's because I now feel like I know that I deserve it now. Right? Like before I didn't think that I deserve respect or I would let people disrespect me and then they'd still stick around and then lo and behold, disrespect me. So now it's like because I know that I deserve respect, like he's an incredible man. He's very old school where, you know, he just, he loves his mama and he loves his parents

and his, you know, he's the way that he, like, almost every day he'll save the kids. Like, guys, your mommy is the most beautiful, beautiful woman on this planet. And we, like, we love her so, like, I love her so much. And you're so lucky to have her as your mom. Like, he just, he wants my kids to see like how a man is supposed to treat a woman and it's just like, it's so beautiful. And he's

the best role model to my kiddos and just the bonus dad is, they're, we're so blessed to have him in our lives because he's just, he's that solid, steady foundation that, you know, feels safe and in a beautiful way. Trustworthy. And let me be the first to tell you that an old school guy is the best guy. I don't care what anyone says. There is nothing like it. You can't teach a guy to be a family guy.

They have it in them or they don't. You know, they either are or they aren't. And it sounds like you got one over there. So that's a congratulations. How did you guys meet? He hates the term, but because he, again, it's in his old schoolness, he doesn't, you know, he's like, I didn't slide into your DMs.

I was like, well, you technically slid into my DMs. Like you did, DM to me. There's no other way to put it. Us cool kids say you slid into your DMs. I was like, well, you technically slid into my DMs. Like, you did. You DMed me. There's no other way to put it. Us cool kids say you slid into my DMs. Oh my God. That's what he did. He's like, no, he's like, I found you online and you look like a beautiful woman and a great mom

and I reached out politely and I was like, yes, you did. And you also slid into my DMs. Yeah, it's like, it's so much hotter than he slid into your DMs. Yes, like it's so much hotter than he slid into your DMs. I love it. Wait, and so then you look and he's a good looking guy. And does he live nearby? Where did he live?

He was living in London. Oh my God. I didn't know this. Yeah, so he's he's Scottish, but he lived. He was living in London coaching a team there. And I kind of blew them off in the beginning just because at that point in where I was at endating, I was just honestly happy alone.

And so he had DMed a few times. And I would DM every once in a while, but I didn't really look into him. I didn't really, I didn't Google him. His page was private. And then I think I was having just like a board night, one night and I was out on tour in San Diego. And I was like, I gotta see like what's up with the soccer guy.

And so then I started googling and I was like, he's really cute. I was like, I should probably, I'm like, I didn't, maybe, you know, I'm like, I didn't have the kids Christmas, you know, before Christmas. I was like, maybe I can go on a little, a little, you know, British vacation. Yeah. So he just so happened to be coming to this United States for a week or so.

And so he came here to Nashville first, flew in from Tampa, where he was training. And then I met him and then it was like, yeah, it was like living my own lifetime Christmas movie. Like, I've done so many of them that I was like this is this is like Where are the cameras? I was like this is a joke. I'm like This is insane so then I then I flew to England for a little holiday Romance wait between of Christmas movies gets gets gets the Christmas movie in real life. I love it. I mean, everything like in the lobby at the hotel when I walked in. I was just like, this is this is truly like, I'm like, where were the cameras?

Wow. So then he decided to move here. Yeah. So after we talked about our crystal ball plan, and he was like, I can come coach in the United States and I was like, well, obviously I'm not leaving here because my kids are so young and I wouldn't do that to my ex either. So, yeah, he picked up and he goes back because he's a 16 year old son.

So he'll go see his son season of Valley once a month and then we, but now we're living together in a new house and it's we're building our new family. Wow, I love it. I love it. So, I mean, I'm sure the kids are super excited too to meet the new baby and all of that. Well, that's amazing I'm so happy for you honestly with all that because you have been through so much and we're going to talk about

Your whole new incredible book that you have out and how you get really candid and real in it But before you do I have to ask you about first of all you had a huge guest on Wine Down on your how the how does one get Matthew Makone on their podcast, please help a girl out like what's happening here? No, seriously, I so my My publicist and I even said this on Wine Down that day. I was like I don't know how she's my publicist. I must be like I pay her But I feel like her pro bono client that she just takes me as like a charity because I'm like she I don't know how she's my publicist. I must be like, I pay her, but I feel like her pro bono client, like she just takes me as like a charity

because I'm like, she's got Jada Pinkett and Smith and she's got, you know, Matthew and she, I mean, she's got like, everybody that's an a-list. So I'm like, Nicole, why do you do this? You know what I mean? Like, I take your pity client, like what? And so, they're for so long that anything anything when it comes to a book or something, she'll hop on board, but Matthew is one of her clients.

And so she texted me and she's like, do out Matthew on the podcast. And I'm like, well, duh. You know, it's not cool. So yeah, so she got that to happen. And he was, what I love about him is obviously he has his new kids book out, but he had the other book where I love it when someone like his stature opens up and is authentic and, you know, he, you know, shows a vulnerable side of him.

And he's so well spoken and it's just, he's a really good guy. He, you can read that off of him just if he's a really good guy. You can read that off of him just if he's on a red carpet, you're just like, there's just a flag waving over his head like genuine good guy. And like he always plays that role too because it's just I feel like he gets that role a lot, but that's where you nervous. Like how do you prep your questions for Matthew McConaughey? I mean, I was I was nervous for, because we've had some great guests on.

Like, you guys and your husband came on wine down, you know? Like, we've had some good news. All right, but we're talking about Matthew McConaughey's stop. I would be like, wait, what? I wouldn't know how to conduct that. But he, you know, for me, I don't go into my interviews with a list of questions. I really just, I have like maybe three bullet points. And then from there, I just go, because you never know what the conversation is going to take

you. So I don't want to be, I never, I don't like the person that's just like question, question, question, I like, I like the conversation, you know, and so with him, it was so easy to have a conversation because he'd bring up something about forgiveness. And I'd be like, oh yeah, what are your take? What are your things? What do you believe about forgiveness? And so I love people that can be open like that

and that are willing to have conversations. And he was a great guest to have. I could imagine that's awesome. Raise your hand if this sounds like you. You embrace the latest diacres that your best friend swears by, whether it's eating no carbs or all the carbs or only carbs that grow on trees. You listen to all these health-obsessed folks, but once the last time that you actually found a good doctor, you

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So now your park your home or even your gym can be well your gym join now for your first 30 days free anyone anywhere can get moving with Peloton. Try the Peloton app today for free for 30 days. New paid memberships only starting at $12.99 a month after trial unless canceled term supply. Talk to me about the next chapter a little bit. I want to hear about this book. I know that you were extremely real about how you overcame a lot of pain from the past and that this is about like finding hope and embracing love for yourself. And how did you get to a point that you felt like you could even write about something so deep and something like this, because I know that you publicly went through a lot and people know your story, Janet. They know your story and there's probably so many women out there that felt the same way and have been cheated on or whatever it may be.

And so what got you to say, like, I'm gonna write this book right now and I wanna just talk about hope. So we actually had, so my ex and I wrote a book called The Good Fight, which was about surviving infidelity and a marriage. And the book did good, and we ended up getting a second book deal, and it was about how to trust your partner. And during that process of starting that book, is when I found out about more stuff, which then led to my now divorce for my ex-husband.

And the book deal went away. But I had called my editor and I said, is there ever a world where I could write a book. And I wasn't the strong writer. My ex was the one that wrote primarily the good fight. And I wrote my pieces, but he was a very good writer. But for me, I, there's so many, yes, people know my story, but there's so many pieces of my story that I haven't shared, that makes sense of, okay, this is maybe why I've done X, Y, and Z or this, this, this equals this. And, and I didn't really get to share that in the first book.

And I wanted to, you know this, like there's always people writing stories about you and your life. And it, for me, I was like, I would love to be able to just be like, if you ever did want to get to know my story, this is from my mouth. Not from a sweetly or from any other publication. Like this is, this is my truth. This is what I've learned, this is why I might have done X, Y, and Z, no excuses, but it's just, it at least for me is a book where I can go, okay, I've learned a lot of stuff, I'm still learning.

That's the greatest thing about life is that we're constantly learning lessons and failing and every failure that I've ever had has come from you know the results of a great lesson and with this divorce I knew that that was going to be the same thing where I had a choice to go okay I can forever blame my ex-husband for the demise of my family and the destruction of our life together, or I can go, okay, I'm going to look in the mirror and go, where could I be better? Where did I fall short? What can I do better in the future? What did I learn from all of this? And it was truly

a book of just exploring all the pieces of me that had been broken even when I was married. That absolutely played a part in our marriage. Now there was no, you know, obviously no excuse for his cheating and all that stuff, but I still was broken in that marriage long before he ever cheated. I had not healed certain pieces of me from a long time ago. And I realized that once I got divorced and dated pretty much the same man thereafter, going, oh, I just again, and walking into another relationship with the same type of man

who isn't honest with me. And now I'm staying with a man that isn't honest. What is wrong with me? This is now, I have to do just a deep dive and start taking accountability for my actions and what I'm like the road that I keep going down, the same pattern. And so I talked to my editor and I was like I really just want this to be an honest book about my life and the journey post divorce, a year post divorce, and kind of like a diary in. So I just started writing things down and she

just kept keeps sending more stuff. And then from there, that's when we decided, okay, we were going to truly take it like a month to month from the day I signed to the year after. And you know, it's one of those books where anyone that goes through a divorce you feel so unworthy, so unloved, you're never going to find love again, you're doomed for the rest of your life. Like it's just like you have all these feelings and everyone goes through through it, at least that's what I make up that people do and for me I wanted to be able to go, okay, hey there is light at the end of the tunnel. Now it may not be, and I made sure that this book, because my editor was like, well, wait until you find love again.

I'm like, no, I'm like, that's the whole point. Like, I was like, I have to write this book, not in a relationship, because my whole problem is, is that Jana equals happy when I'm in a relationship. That's the problem. So I was like, I have to break that cycle. Like, I have to learn how to love myself. I need to figure out why I'm still repeating these patterns. And so I did some really hard work in that year and had some missteps along the way that I write about and had to go back to years prior, things that I went through. And I don't talk about

my domestic abuse experience a lot because I still hold a lot of shame in that piece. And you know, but I talk about that in the book. And I just I really hope that people can read it and go, okay, you can still go through an immense amount of pain and come out on the other side and still choose to love yourself. And here's how.

I mean, it must have been so therapeutic, honestly, like writing this all out and just having to text someone or write someone like things here and there, like you think something up and you're like, wait, this and like it's therapeutic to like just think of something in the middle. Then I wake up and be like, you know what, this happened to me and I think it affected me this way. And it's kind of like, it's almost like releasing everything

and just letting it go. I remember that when I wrote my book, I just would think of things in the middle of the night and be like, wait, wait, wait, I forgot about this. And especially childhood things. And you talk about your childhood, right? In this book. Yeah, it's, you know, I grew up in that kind of household

where my dad cheated on my mom and, you know, there was a lot of anger. And so I grew up in a very unsafe, like as a child, as if, you know, four to eight-year-old child, I felt very unsafe. And so, but it's interesting, the relationships that I've chose since then were very unsafe, but that's almost where I felt the most safe. So chaos was something that made me feel comfortable. And that's, you know, something that I've had to even work on in this new relationship when I was like, I don't know how to deal with comfortability and safety and not wondering when the next shoe is going to fall. And so it took me, you know, we've only been, we've almost been dating a year now, but it took me

at least six months to be settled in the feeling that I'm like, okay, Wade, no, I do deserve this complex. And this is normal. This is what I should have had for years, but it does feel natural. That's a big problem for a lot of people who grew up in chaos, sorry, my voice, in chaos.

And also just who've had bad relationships, bad boyfriends, it's really hard when it's peaceful to know that like no, actually this, this is the normal, this is how it's supposed to be because you're almost like looking over your shoulders saying like what's wrong here? Is this exciting? Do I like this? Is it, and it's hard to accept that no, that's how it is. And that's the peace and that's the calmness. And I have a ton of friends who have been through things very similar to you.

And, you know, they do find a great guy. And it takes them a minute to realize, like, this is normal. This is the right way to understand, like, that's happiness and to be at peace with that and calm with that and realize that there's trust there because when there's trust there's everything, right? I mean, I feel like with this guy, I can just tell already you have complete trust in him. You're not stressed, you're not looking, you know, you're not being over your shoulder or behind your back. I don't have to like, I'm like, go have fun or just like, yeah, it's just, it's, and when he says

that I have nothing to worry about and he says that he loves me. I can act I've said the other day and I was like I believe you like for the first time Actually believe you and that's a beautiful that's a beautiful thing right there like the piece of knowing that alone And just for yourself and for your kids because when you're stressed out and you're you know It trickles right down to the kids. So it's like, though, just the, the sanity of knowing like, this is where I'm at is, is amazing for you. A little extra money helps everyone live their best lives and times online checking account is here to help you live yours. With Chimes Online Checking Account, you can enjoy lots of perks like fee-free overjab up to $200.

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insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law. You know, you do talk about something else I love in the book, which is celebrating your victories. And I feel like this pertains to a lot of women also. And I really think there's so much good advice, you know, just about this in there. So can you talk to me about that a little bit? Yeah, I think one of the hardest things to do is, like I said, to embrace the good things too. So like, there, yes, in the middle of a destruction in the middle of a divorce, like there are still the victories, there are still the goodness that comes from it.

You know, I could, my kids being one of them, like they're the greatest thing that I ever got from my divorce and they're, you know, the loves of my life. And then everything to and my life is, yeah, I've had some business ventures that didn't go well. And I might feel embarrassed, but there's also, I think there's so much, so many lessons and growth

and in the failure of things. And then the victories, it's like to have the people and to also celebrate like how far you've come to. And that's something that I don't think we do. I think we're so hard on ourselves, or we beat ourselves up. Like we're the worst critics to ourselves. Like I've said the meanest things about myself to me,

and I'm like when I start talking about, but I would never say that to a friend. So for me, it was like I had to kind of change my narrative and go, okay, how would I speak encouragement to a friend. So for me, it was like I had to kind of change my narrative and go, okay, how would I speak, how would I speak encouragement to a friend? And that's kind of been my motto to myself to go, I wouldn't say that to my girlfriend, so why am I saying it to me? Why am I beating it myself? Like, what is the reason for that? It's like clapped for yourself as well. I also say like a lot of women, my personal thing is like mom guilt. I feel like sometimes when I have victories and I'm working hard and there's a lot of good going on for me,

I have to learn to celebrate it instead of feel guilty about it or like feel like I'm working too much or going back and forth. And I'm sure you go through that too having two kids and one on the way because you're working mom too and you're out there doing your thing. Yeah, and I have to support my kids. I pay kids. I pay child support for my kids. So I'm like everything is on my shoulders. So I not only feel the weight of having to financially support

and work, but also I want my kids to know like I want them to see that I'm I work hard and this is this is what happens when you do work hard. like you get to live in a beautiful home and You know mom I have to be away for a little bit at certain times But to have a little independence. I think it's a good thing for kids to see and also to have You know with with me as well. So and I'm gonna have to refine that balance now being You know with it with a newborn. I haven't figured out what I'm gonna do yet But my friend asked me the other day. She's like, so what are you gonna do? And I was like, I don't know but I need to figure it out because I know. I haven't figured out what I'm gonna do yet, but my friend asked me the other day, she's like, so what are you gonna do? And I was like, I don't know, but I need to figure it out

because I know that I can't just, like I have to also work and do my stuff because that's what drives me and that's what motivates me to be the best version of myself for everybody. Are you gonna stay home for a little bit with the baby and then just kinda figure it out as it goes? I don't know, I mean, like yes, because the industry shut down, like it's

it'll be such a good time, you know, right? I'm sure it's going to be over soon, but I hope so at least for everybody involved. But, you know, November and December will be just kind of shut down at time anyways. So I'll take those few months and then in the new year, I'm really going to figure out because I'm going to need to My I live in a very like scarcity mindset with money So I'm like I'm going to need to grind and work really hard to provide for everybody Of course, you're just like you remind me like so much of

Just a lot of like my girlfriend. I keep saying that every time I talk to you I just feel like you're one of us. You're just like a hardworking mom so much of just a lot of like my girlfriend, I keep saying that every time I talk to you, I just feel like you're one of us, you're just like a hardworking mom. That's why people relate to you, that's why people love you so much. You're just very down to earth, you're always grinding, but you're an amazing mom.

You talk to us about like life and like real stuff that goes on in relationships, and I just think it's so endearing. What is like, what's next for you? Are you looking, obviously, with the acting world? It's kind of, you know, the whole industry is going through what they're going through. But is there anything else you're working on right now

besides the book and becoming a new mom? Well, yeah, I can't wait for the strike to be over again, for people that I just, everyone wants to get back to work. And, but I have something that I can will be able to talk about post that. And then, yeah, for me, I just, I'm really going into next year, just laser focused on. A lot of times I've been the kind of person like, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this. And I think sometimes, though I've always said

that's a good thing and I don't wanna just be put in like one place, I feel like I've learned that I need to like really laser it down to like three things and just really hustle to make those three things happen. And then from there all the other stuff if it wants to come great, but you know, there's, I've got my

Tarte like my eye and like three main targets that I just want to hammer next year to make it happen. All right, we'll keep your eye on the prize because you gotta keep going. Congratulations on life right now, and I honestly mean that. I mean the baby everything that's going on your new fiance. Do we have a marriage date? Do we have a wedding date? We actually just picked it last week. So we're not going to announce it to the world, but I'm very, very happy for you.

Yeah, it's next year. We're so pumped. I love him to death, and I cannot wait to walk down the aisle to him. Oh my God, I love that. All right, well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today. All my listeners, you gotta listen to the Wine Down podcast with Janet Kramer

and your book comes out October 24th, right? So we all need to grab a copy of that too. We can pre-order. Yeah, we can pre-order and then I'm on Instagram, Kramer Girl, so. Yeah, but thank you for listening. Thank you for having me and please come visit me in Nashville. I'm coming, I'm coming. I was supposed to see you the last time I was there and it didn't

work out. I know. I know. I had like Joe's comedy show or something, but the next time we're there, I'm definitely I'm coming to see you. Sure. Arrihani, good talking to you. Thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate it. Bye. Bye. Hey guys, I want to tell you about a quick podcast study here. As you probably know, we all do our very best to align the right sponsors to the right podcast. It's a lot of work behind the scenes and all of us are incredibly grateful for your support. We're currently running a quick survey at podcaststudy.net and we're giving the first 150 people a $10 digital Amazon gift card as an incentive for you guys to go and complete this survey.

The information we get from you about our sponsors is very important to the show and we can't thank you enough for taking a few minutes to help us out. Upon completion of the survey, you'll be asked to include your email address and we'll send the first 150 people a $10 gift card from Amazon. Go to podcaststudy.net and thank you so much again for helping our show and our sponsors. Dive into true crime on Pluto TV. Unravel the mysteries with forensic files and our sponsors. Download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming True Crime. On live channels and on demand.

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