On Display with Melissa Gorga - Vi-All In (w/ Nick Viall)

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Because dating shows are so popular these days, Melissa invites the man who knows a thing or two about finding true love on TV; former "Bachelor", Nick Viall.   Melissa and Nick talk about the benefits of pre-emptive couples therapy, sharing locations and social media profiles with your partner, and which housewife was a little flirty with Nick during his single days.  Melissa also gives us an update on how the reunion went, and why this reunion, as "The Bachelor" often says, "will be the most dramatic one yet." 

I think for anyone to go on any of these shows for true love would be insane. Hi guys, welcome to another episode of on display. Um, wow, what a couple days it has been. I know that you guys are reading so much about the reunion and it's funny because the last time I spoke to you, I was telling you guys that I was in hair and makeup for the reunion and I got so I just want to say thank you. I got so many messages from all of you wishing me luck that day, praying, telling me to be strong. I have never seen such an overwhelming amount of messages. And I honestly just need to say thank you to each and every one of you. And if I could DM you all back, I promise you I would. But please know that I did read so many of them. And you know, in the

downtime and getting hair and makeup, reading those just put a huge smile on my face and to know that I have so many good, good people out there that want to back me up and that want to, you know, they want to see the truth with a lot of things and they just want me to be strong. I cannot even thank you guys enough. So just know that I saw you. The reunion was crazy. I know I know that you guys are like reading stuff. There's so many different articles out podcasts. I mean, a lot of the podcasts that are out

are ridiculous and one sided. And I mean, it's funny because when people pull receipts from their own camps, it's funny because then they're not actually receipts, right? So it's just silly, but you will see when you actually watch it, what went down. I will just, how I can sum it up is it was brutal. It was brutal. I can't even sugarcoat it. There is no sugar coating this one. It was a lot of the Melissa Teresa.

I, it was the whole reunion basically was. And it, it really was, it was rough. It was rough. It was sad. It was angry. It was so many, it was so many things. And, you know, I, I leave with saying that like, truly, I just don't see, I, it just, it was rough guys.

Like I wish I can say more, but I think after you guys actually watch it, I can come on and I can come on and we can like discuss what we actually watch. But it's, it's crazy how motivated, you know, some people are on our cast to just hurt and like take others down. And with no rhyme or reason, and it's, it's actually crazy and sad, but hey, that's the world we live in.

That's the life that we are actually living on this show. So we're being truthful with you guys, at least in your seeing it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I will say there was, there was a lot of ugly this year way more than I like way more than I would want to see because you know, I do love being on this show to show you guys some of the great things, the great pieces of family, the great pieces of my family with Joe and the kids and just happiness and and girls and like friendships, right? And the ups and downs of friendships and the ins and outs and the, you know, you could say something silly or stupid to a friend, but how you get through that and make up and, you know, how you, you come full circle with your girlfriends. I feel like that's

what, that's what I would love the show to be more centered around, but the season just wasn't. And the reunion is brutal. So stay tuned for that and we will talk more. I will say this, someone who claims to be all about blood. It's so ironic when they are the most motivated to spill it. But with all of this being said, I'm actually really, really super, super excited for today's guest because listen, with all the dating shows out right now, I thought why not pull on someone who knows firsthand what it's like trying to find love on television. He's been all over the bachelor universe and he's been on dancing with the stars. He hosts his very own podcast the Viall Files. So

ladies and gentlemen I have with me today Nick Viall. What's up Nick? How's it going Melissa? Good. How are you? I'm doing great. Yeah. Just. How's L.A. I love that you're in the car. You just let me know that you just got out of therapy, which I love. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Couples therapy actually. Yeah. No. Come on really. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. See. So because you guys are like a new couple. how long have you guys been together? You have a fiance, right? Her name is Natalie. Well, we're newly engaged. We've been together for about, over three years in like August dish. Got it. So she's a new fiance. Right. I might time. Yeah. She's a new fiance. We've been together for a couple of years. Okay, so it's couples therapy. This is not something that you go to do by yourself to like vent. I also do individual therapy. So I'm therapyed up. Yeah, I'm, so I love it. I was just saying I swear to God, especially because I just got out of this reunion. I think I need therapy.

I'm not even kidding. I think it's just good. And I'm saying this in a, like, I think I need therapy. I'm not even kidding. I think it's just good. And I'm saying this in a public, I think I need someone to vent to with a very unbiased decision. Just, I don't know. I just want to vent to someone. I have never. Yeah, I mean, listen, I think therapy in general is better, it's better served when it's used as like a safety belt or a bicycle helmet rather than reconstructive surgery. It can certainly help if you need to do some reconstructive surgery. So to speak. But yeah, I've been in therapy since the beginning of the pandemic. And for me, it was one of those things where on my show, I'd always advocate for it, you know, like we spend so much time, you know, like, you know, investing in our, like, physical health, or gym memberships,

or dietary plans, and yada, yada, yada, yada, we invest in all our aspects of our life. But when it comes to our mental health, we're so reluctant to do it, or feel like we need some sort of personal crisis, and try to, like like just take the carve out an hour out of your week to like just make sure your mental are you know where they need to be. And certainly there's like obviously costs associated with that and then everyone can afford it, but it was one of those things with the pandemic hit. It was just like you know what? You know I advocate for it for so much, you know maybe I should just try it out and it was like a huge help for me like I've always you know, maybe I should just try it out. And it was like a huge help for me, like I've always, you know, struggled with anxiety a little bit.

I've a, I've a, I like to ruminate about anything, uh, getting my head. And so I started that. And then, you know, after now, you know, I got engaged, you know, she's, she's had some, you know, personal things from her childhood kind of creep up. And so she wanted to start therapy, uh, she's had some, you know, personal things from her childhood kind of creep up. And so she wanted to start therapy to work on some stuff on her own. And, and then we just kind of mutually decided that, you know, maybe good for us to kind of get

out of it and do couples therapy because, you know, as she kind of works with some past traumas that, you know, she's experienced that kind of, that can play a role in the relationship. So, you know, we just try to be very proactive rather than reactive. And so, yeah, it's been a huge benefit to our relationship because every time we leave, we have some sort of high. I mean, really, if you're approaching couples therapy in the best possible way, I think it really helps people become more connected or stay connected.

Like the whole premise is premise is how do you guys maintain a level of connectedness or reconnect if you feel disconnected and things like that. We love it. It's been great for us. I actually love that you advocate for that too, especially like before you're even married or before you, and I love how you say, get a facelift, it's like you're getting Botox before you get the facelift, you're just like, you know what I'm saying? You're kind of getting ahead of it

and you guys are talking about any issues that may arise before they come and they turn into huge issues. I have to be honest, I've never heard, I've never really heard anybody advocate for doing it beforehand, but I think it's so wise and so it's a smart thing to do. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, it hasn't been that long ago where therapy came

with a lot of stigmas of like, oh, you're getting therapy, what's wrong with you, kind of the thing. And rather than therapy being thought of as, or again, just kind of like hiring a personal trainer, you know, like, hey, I wanna, I wanna want to get in shape or I want to stay in shape, you know, like, you know, when you're younger, you have all these activities, you're in more active person're in the work and therapy is really no different. You know, it's just carving out that time to say, you know what, for an hour out of this week, I'm going to kind of get to a place where I can, you know, vent, how I want to vent, whatever I want to vent about. Sometimes I go into therapy and I'm like,

oh, darling, we got a lot to talk about, you know, other times I'm just like, you know what, I'm pretty good, but like, what do you want to riff about, you know? Other times, I'm just like, you know what? I'm pretty good, but like, what do you want to rift about? You know? And usually somewhere along the line, we find something to like, to work through. And again, couples therapy, no different, where again, it can certainly be helpful for a couple that, maybe there's some tragedy in the relationship.

Maybe there's, maybe there's, you know, a huge level of disconnectedness, but it also could just be, hey, listen, like, we just want to get ahead of it. There are times where we don't see eye to eye. There are times where maybe, you know, let's say a couple could say, oh, we, you know, we don't fight all that much, but when we do, it turns into World War III, you know,

but we love each other. And then maybe you work through that, right? It's just, you know, to me, especially couples therapy, it's just a mutual desire between the two individuals in a relationship to always work on tools to stay connected. And that idea of connectedness, that's been a big help for us because I think oftentimes in relationships, we kind of bring in our own personal needs and desire, right? So if you have a fight with your partner a lot of times, you want to, you know, especially if you're a competitive person, you want to win the fight, you know? I always want to win the fight. I don't know about you,

but it's very much so for me about winning the argument most of the time. But what it sounds like, it's also very preventative, right? You're almost in like preventative therapy. So you get ahead of it before anything escalates into like a month long thing or a larger thing. Totally. So how old are you? You're 42, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'm 44 and I have been married for 18 years. So right. So so basically it's crazy, like I got married very young, so I, 25 years old. So I've been doing, or 25. So, you know, it's crazy to see the different like aspects of life and how two people kind of

in the same age group right there can be on two totally different. But see, like this back in the day, when I got married, all of these, it was on herd up. It was looked at more in a negative light, right? Right now on the... I told you all the energy. You sound like a genius to me right now.

Like completely genius because it's like, I'm like, if we had that going in, all of the little things and just for men and gentlemen, I'm like, if we had that going in, all of the little things and just, just for men in general, I mean, I'm married to an Italian, so they're a little bit more reserved on therapy, or like the old school ways of like, yeah, but like, look how much easier it probably is for you and your fiance to like communicate and talk about things like it was, it's always been like foreign to me to have these conversations. So I'm so intrigued myself because I'm like, I want to raise my hand. I'm like, I need, I want to go to therapy just for my own.

Like, I listen, I have a trainer, right? I go to the gym, just what you're saying. I'm like, why don't I want to stay mentally healthy as well? Plus the job of mine, obviously, I don't know if you watch housewives, but it's, you need therapy just to be a part of the cast, you know. I'm so understated. I mean, truly, I could of the cast, you know, I'm so under. I mean, truly, I could only, yes, I mean, I couldn't even imagine. But like, getting back to like fighting with your partner, I think, and I've been that person, right?

I'm competitive. I love to be right. Love it. And, but like, I'm at, like, but when, you know, when you, if you think of your relationship, just that as a relationship, it's kind of bond between two individuals with this common goal, right? So if you're fighting with your partner, then by kind of definition, there's a disconnect. I'm not seeing a problem the same way you're seeing it, right? And so instead of having the mindset of winning

or being right or getting your partner to say, I'm sorry, like, I think through therapy, like we, for example, we've learned that, like, just see this as a disconnection, right? I am now disconnected from my partner, and all I really want is to feel connected, right? And so now, if there's a, like a fight of, let's say, or disconnect, just having that want to I want to feel more connected to my partner

And the common goal is to be connected rather than the individual goal of winning the fight right? Okay, there you go. That's a better goal. It goes it goes. It's just it's just amazing how much easier It is to work through those things because I I think therapy taught you just to say that, even just what you just said, like that you only know that from your therapist. Because I'm like, I wouldn't even think that way. And like that's how therapy would teach you to think. Like instead of disconnecting,

we are going to connect on like that's a total, that's totally coming right from your therapist now. 100%. Yeah. So this is kind of speaks to again, like when people, you know, and I still think, yeah, to your point, it's come a long way. I think 15 years ago, people would think you're nuts, you know, or think, you know, and now it's more like people are more like, hmm, you know, like, they're into it. They're much more subset that they want to hear about it. They're into it. They're curious. They're not sure.

Yeah. And like I said, I just think therapy in general is better served when applied like a physical helmet or a seatbelt rather than like reconstructive surgery. Right. Well listen, I hope your your session just went well. Tell me about tell me about what's going on with you as far as like wedding planning. Are you doing destination? Are you guys staying nearby? What's the situation?

TBD with that. I think most likely we're going to, it's a new thing. I realize this from some people we've talked to, our friends that we have, but it's apparently it's all the rage. We thought we were being unique, but it's more not destination, but like a destination within the United States. Okay, well that's fair. That's good. Not Mexico or Jamaica or like, you know, something like that. But Natalie's from Savannah and Alabama. I'm from Wisconsin.

We both live in LA. So we're open to like, it could be Dallas. It could be Denver. We don't care. We're going to have to travel. People are going to have to travel as long as we can find a beautiful venue that we all like. That's kind of accessible

to everyone. There's a chance now being from Savannah, her sister has this beautiful farmhouse that would be like a beautiful landscape, but there's a lot of love to be done. So we were thinking about that. That's a possibility. So we're in the kind of beginning stages of planning kind of talking about ideas, but we have yet to solidify a venue or a possibility. So we're in the kind of beginning stages of planning kind of talking about ideas, but we have yet to solidify a venue or a date, but we're ballpark thinking about a year or so from now, but don't hold me to that. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think it's like it's a, it's like, do you, do you have any tips for me? Like, because I mean, I just remember it. It's not great, especially for the men. I don't think you guys enjoyed half as much. It's just a lot

of like details and and and you know what I noticed about it all the day. And I know you probably heard this a thousand times. It flies by two seconds. It's over. You almost feel like it was for everyone else because everyone else just enjoys it and has fun. And you just like kiss everybody the whole time. Don't do one of those. Do you just have like a party? Yeah, don't do it. Oh, yeah. My wedding day is gonna be about us.

And that's all I care about. Like I am. You're the fun. I'm not getting married to throw other people aparty. Well, there you go. Pick up that class of Pina Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time.

We're gonna do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom. I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'll remona singer, and that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best from the Real Housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time. Follow Ray and review now on Apple Podcasts,

Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do you feel about? So tell me what you feel about Bachelor and Bachelor at parties. Are you the type that are going to like do a joint thing? Are you going to go both away for the weekend? Cause now everybody does these like three day long bachelor at parties and that will be me. Like I'm a little older obviously now. And so like, I think I'll throw about have a bachelor party like out of obligation or something. I don't know. You have to. You just have to.

Everybody has to have. Why don't you just do the one night thing then? You don't need to do like the three day extravaganza. Oh, oh, we definitely won't be doing a three day extravaganza. Everyone's doing that now. It's like they go to Greece, they go to Miami. No, I know, I know, I know, I know. Yeah, no, I don't suspect that it'll be me.

Okay. Okay. But I don't, if you know, if I was getting married when I was 25, maybe, I don't know. Yeah, right. You'd want to like go do all these things, but nobody, right, I got you. Let me ask you this. Was it, how did you meet your fiance? Because obviously you've been on the bachelor.

You've been on so many of, like you've been on dating shows, right? So when you do finally, there was no connection with her and the Bachelor at all. No, she's slid into my DMs. Oh my god, I love it. Ballsy, ballsy, and then you guys met up for a drink or something and the rest is history. We met up in New York. Okay, she's slid into DMs. I love it.

Like, can I just know like how that DM, like, what does it say? Like the very first DM is all the only DM I'm very much so interested in. She posted a picture on the internet that showed up in her explorer page and then she replied to that photo and said, you're unreal. Okay, good. I love it. I love how she's forward with it. Is it hard for her? Because obviously, I feel like people know you that show. First of all, bachelor fans are like, I would say equivalent to housewife fans, they're insane. They know every little detail of every little thing

they are on you. They are intense. Yes, it's special. It's true fans. Yeah, they are. So was that rough for her with having girls obviously like look at you and think you're cute and all this thing? Is that rough? I think there was definitely an adjustment for her. I was very protective of certain things and you know thankfully I had been involved in this world long enough to kind of, you know, how things were kind of give their heads up. That all being said, yeah, I think there's definitely adjustment.

And, you know, a lot of fans are lovely and supportive and nice. There's always a toxic group of fans that, you know, they always have a lot to say regardless of the situation think you know, she's handled it with really well and she's a very Confident person and she's got a good support system or support system around her So I mean I mean I mean for the most part, you know, it thankfully is not Impacted our relationship in a negative way. Well, that's good because I know it could be rough, especially with the amount of people now that can slide into DMs. It's like a whole world out there.

Even if you're sitting on your couch, you can potentially be like flirting, right? So it's a different world now. I feel like with DMs and Instagram and all of this that goes on, which is a whole other conversation that won't save for later. I just had this conversation with my husband because like there's so much that goes on, which is a whole nother conversation that won't save for later. I just had this conversation with my husband because like, there's so much that goes on on like TikTok and it's just like a lot, especially how's my fans are always in his DMs and I'm just like, are you, so are you the type of couple that you would literally like share which do share a password?

Do you share like, do you guys know everything? We know each other's phone passwords. Out of just like, hey, I just like had shared it with her because like I needed her to go in my phone or something. I know her password, but I keep forgetting it. Because you're not interested, you're not that, you don't care. Yeah, I mean, listen, I think there's a balance too and I think with every

relationship there's a balance between not having secrets and then feeling the need to like spy on your partner. You know, I think, you know, for me, for example, I've always taken pride in not being a jealous boyfriend or not being controlling. Right. And at quite honestly though at times, I think that has, you know, in the past made me not check in as much as I should. You know, for fear that I could be, oh, I don't want to be thought of as controlling or jealous, I won't ask any questions. But every once in a while, you need to like, in a relationship to just be like, hey, that, I'm not accusing you of anything, but it sounds a little off, you know, I'm like, I think,

I'm sure, you know, you've been married for what, eight, eight to 18 years. I'm sure there have been times where, you know, you and your husband, like, you know, maybe he's doing something. He's not, you know, being self-aware and you have to say, WTF, babe. I think there's moments like that. So I've had to learn that I've had to actually speak up about things that maybe my gut tells me feels a little off. But because in the past, I always like to think of myself

as I am that a jealous guy, so I don't care. And so I feel like in the past, I feel like I've given my partner almost like too much rope, you know, and that was I think my ego, you know, telling myself I was capable something I shouldn't have been capable of. So it's a balance, you know, in terms of trusting your partner, but at the same time feel comfortable to check in and make sure that you guys are respecting the boundaries that you guys have communicated with one another.

1,000% what are your thoughts on like sharing location and find my friends with your partner? What are your thoughts on that? Natalie and I do it. It's more of a safety thing. Right. You know? Yeah.

It's also like a piece of mine sometimes, No, or like, is it all for safety? Be honest? Or is it sometimes a piece of mine just to know like when where they are when they're out? It's more safety, really. I mean, I hope I'm not for me. I want to know when, where, how, how long they stayed at the restaurant, how many feet to the left he moved and for how long if I'm being honest. I love the honesty. I'm not even going to lie. I'm not even going to lie.

For me, I just find it exhausting. You know, like, yeah, it is exhausting. It is. It's the worst. It's my worst quality. It's why I probably need that. It's one of my worst like qualities wanting to know. You're not alone. You're not alone.

You're not alone. Yeah. But I like to be in the know, you know? Yeah, I, like I said, I've had to work on needing of wanting to be more in the know rather than being so kind of lase, fair about things. Right. What's like the most cringe worthyworthy, cringe-worthy thing you've seen with couples these days? Like whether there be social media or otherwise, like what makes you

cringe when you see this about couples? Um, I mean, I don't see it as much anymore just maybe because I probably don't pay attention to it, but I think early social media went a couple of first get together. And it would just be blasting every day about how in love they are. Literally speaking to each other through social media. Yeah, talking to social media. Yeah, but at the same time, I will say like, now that I have like, you know, somewhat public relationship, I kind of sometimes deliberately enjoy being cheesy and cringey, you know, like,

you know, you like a little bit of my husband too. He likes the cheesy cringe stuff where I like run the other way. I think it's all like anytime I can. I think it's hilarious when like, Nally and I have matching outfits and shit like that. Like, I think why not? It's as fun and silly and stupid. I think it's only cringey if you're not aware of it being cringey and I,

it as far as my audience goes, like I don't care. I get it, I get it. Yeah, but I do remember back, like I get it. I got it. Yeah, but but I do remember back, like, I think it's I think when you feel like couples are trying to prove something to other people or themselves through social media, I find that to be cringey, but you know, you never really know what people's intent is are. So who knows? I try not to judge. It's true. And you know what else? I noticed the couples that post the most couple pictures like constantly constantly the picture the picture the picture the picture usually have the most issues. I don't know why I've noticed that that they just post the couple

picture like 20 like every time they go to dinner every time they move every time they make a move and it's like it's usually it's I don't know I always find that to be shady when I see that. That's you never really know. You never know what's going on. Um you ever see couples who literally legit it's like they share the Instagram. So it's like this is Frank and Maria's Instagram. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Let us know which one of you cheated because we know that that's the case. I mean, why do you have a shared Instagram? I don't know where I just saw that today actually and I was giggling and I'm like There's got to be more to this like that's kind of funny to me I

Think I think in some cases that probably is true or it's either one or two things someone cheated or Someone doesn't know or care to use social media and the other person cares very much about that being used as a way to show their relationship. Right. True. Speaking of the bachelor, do you miss it at all or those days like long gone? Do you think the show is like on it? I don't know. I kind of feel like the glory days might be over a little bit for the bachelor. So what do you feel with that? Well, I mean, I certainly don't miss it as a contestant, but that's I don't miss being I don't miss being on it. And then just the TV aspect just being out there like do you like being a little bit more low-keyed not being on TV on these shows or what do you feel? Um, I don't really have a preference. I mean, I'm fortunate enough that you know, the Vile Files has been successful enough that it's kept me busy, kept me in the limelight, you know, I've been working doing other things. But, yeah, I can't, I'm kind of indifferent about that.

You know, you can take it or leave it basically. Yeah, it's not like, yeah, I, again, I've been thankful very lucky in the before the past few years to this, the occasional like a cameo or job or cake to like beyond TV. So it's not like, oh no, I, I miss it so much. You know, I have certain. Yeah, I mean, I have I have cousins who watch the show that would go crazy. Like they go crazy for all of this and especially for you. So they all they all loved you and they loved watching you on everything. I mean, do you feel like the bachelor and the bachelor had become more of like a social media promotion for a lot of people opposed to actually going out there and finding like true love. Well, I mean, I, I think for anyone to go on any of these shows for true love would be insane. It's insane. Come on. Right. Like, I think, I think if you're really honest with yourself,

people go for the experience now with social media being what it was for the past few years. Yes, I I think it's almost impossible for anyone to go on and and Genuinely like not care about what opportunities might come from it um But you know as far as like how the health of the show or the health of the franchise You know, I think when I was on it, I think those, a lot of people saw that as like bachelor at its peak in its popularity. But I still think it's all so successful. You know, I think there's more, there's more competition out there. Things like love is blind is out there. You got love Island. Well, speaking of love is blind. Have you,

do you watch it? Because it's been, I think it's a think it's like a hit show, right? Oh, yeah, I mean, I've been I've been covering it aggressively on my show. Yeah, we interviewed Micah and Marshall last week. So yeah, we're I'm I'm I'm deep into love is blind. Yeah. Everyone's obsessed. I mean, is love blind? Or do you think that physical attraction is like it's necessary in a lasting relationship, right? We're going to need it. Yeah, no, I got is like it's necessary in a lasting relationship right? We're gonna need you know. Yeah, it's completely not blind. I mean like I guess it can be you know I mean I think some people can choose not to have it matter but I'm not one of those people that's for sure. I think there's there's very few people in the world that that love is blind. Yeah, for me, and yeah, physical attraction is definitely a big part of, you know, why

I like people. It's not the only thing, you know. I've dated a lot of people I was physically attracted to, only to hate their personality and have it not work out. But for me, you know, like I think a physical connection is important. And for a lot of people, I think most people would agree with that. I think the funniest thing about love is blind is to see that people pretend that they don't care what the person looks like because they're afraid of the cold shallow. Yeah, I think that's my favorite part of the show is you know that they care and you see them protecting that to care. It's hilarious. For sure. Wait, I got to ask you this because you seem to have a good grasp on like a

solid relationship. It seems like very few of the final relationships on the last few seasons of the bachelor and the bachelor have really lasted, but there's quite a few lasting ones that have come out from the bachelor and paradise. Like, why do you think that is? Um, well, you get to spend way more time with your person on Bachelor in Paradise. Um, that makes sense.

That makes sense. That I'm, I'm Bachelor. And I'm, I'm Bachelor of Bachelor at, yeah, the, the, the stakes are very different, right? On, on the Bachelor of Bachelor at, it's a relationship that's built on withholding love. And so you spend most of your at, it's a relationship that's built on withholding love. And so you spend most of your time fantasizing about a relationship rather than living the relationship. And what I mean by that, is when you go on the show, right?

You go on the show, it starts with like 25, 30 people. And then early on, you might be one of the lucky few to like, you know, get a first impression rose. And an early day, do you feel a connection? And then, you know, a one on one, you get maybe four or five hours with that person, that's tops. And then, and then if you have a one on one,

you might go three or four days without any real time. And then on a group date, you might have 15 minutes here or five minutes there. Again, so you sit down, you talk to this person, you have this intense connection. And then as soon as like, the, you feel this connection, you get pulled away, right? And so you're, you're just

constantly pining for that person all while watching other people, you know, date this person. And so in your head, you get to fantasize about this connection all while competing. Yada, yada, yada. And so it's like psychological warfare. So you're building up this person and this relationship in your head. And then if you're one of the people who gets to the final, you literally feel like you've gone to battle, you know, for this love and for this relationship, only to really have no idea who this person is. They got there about and you go into the real world and it's kind of like, you know, well, like let's see if this work. Right. Yeah, and paradise, you know, it's only three weeks of filming, but there's no real competitive element.

You just sit around on a beach with the person you like and you get to, you know, you have all day, all night, you can talk for out, you have 24 hours a day to talk to that person and get to know them. So it's a different type of intensity, but a one that allows you to have more authentic conversations. Well, you know what, that's perfect explanation

as to why they last longer, because they're actually getting to know them. I mean, that makes perfect sense. One more TMZ in your life, and then download the TMZ podcast. The judge could say the only way they could go on TikTok is if X happens. What a 50 years from now,

lawyers are citing the West V Kardashian for social media. Available now on Apple's Spotify Google or wherever you get your podcasts. There's no recklessness there unless you assign to Alex Baldwin the obligation to have checked that route. Well, is the Clooney rule industry standard right?

Clooney rule. No, well, follow us today. So you get the real story. I have to ask you for all my fans out there. Do you watch any or or your fiance? Do you guys watch any of the housewives shows? I'm Bravo. I've seen some. I recently

disdived into Vanderpump and I've become just in an absolute massive fan and because of stand-of-all and all of this craziness. Yeah, yeah. So that has made me want to get into- Explore housewives? Explore housewives. I had a very interesting night years ago.

I met the Dutchess or the Countess, I forgot. Oh my god, the Countess, the Countess. So funny. Where did you move her out in LA? In Chicago. It was right after my first season of the bachelor she was very friendly and very nice. Extremely, were you single at the time?

I was. I was. She's extremely friendly. She wanted to go to this bar called stout and I like for well I was I was going to a bar called stout and she's like I should go with you and I'm like You do not want to get this bar. Wait, did Louanne try to make a move? Didn't she try to make a move? I'm not I'm not saying one way or the other but she was very nice and She's funny. She's like, I do not think,

because this was like a tiny, like this was like a bar, you know, in Chicago and I was like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not walking, yes, yes, I got it. That was my only experience with the housewives. But I very much want to get into it

because I think it's great content and fun to watch and the little bit I have seen of it, it's, I find it, what more, that's what's Eventor Pump has kind of what it's really endeared me to that because I'm used to the batch our love is blind where there's very kind of very fixed controlled environments that have like a very like, you know, it's like three to nine weeks of filming or whatever. But like Vanderpump, and I'm assuming obviously housewives as well, it bleeds into the personal life, right?

And there's like these blurred lines between what is the show and what is the reality? And what is personal, right? And I find that to be really fascinating to watch. And it's like, as someone who's very familiar with how reality TV is made, I even find myself like that fascinated by like, I often wonder if the people on housewives or van der pump, if they even have a hard time, like, discerning between are doing it for TV or doing it for themselves because their lives are so intertwined

with the TV show. I find it very fascinating. It is. And the problem with both of our shows is like, there's no boundaries, right? So it's like your life has to get put out there every aspect of it. And I do feel like what you're saying, like you don't you forget what's real life and what's the show because they're kind of mashed together. And then the boundary is like no longer there. It's just like you're saying, like you don't you forget what's real life and what's the show because they're kind of mashed together. And then the boundary is like no longer there. It's just like you're giving your whole self and and the Bravo fans are special because they want to find out what you did when you were 12, when you were 14, when you were 17, the night you like whatever it might be like they dig and dig and dig. So it's it's special to be part of a of a bravo show.

It's not. Special is a really is a really positive way of looking at it. That's me being really nice. I mean, you mentioned Vanderpomp and Scandival. What is your best advice you have for him? Like, is this guy should he come in and like, just go full vol like villain or is there a way for him to somehow recover and be calm? Well, it depends on what his goal is. I mean if we're talking about sand of all I don't uh I have another opportunity to meet him. I just I I'm not someone I find it really obnoxious in general when people throw around the world of the world like a narcissist and things like that is it's such a thing now that's just like it, it's gaslighting, it's narcissists. You got these words.

People aren't critical thinkers and they can't like, you know. But with him, you know, I just, I don't think he gets it. You know, I think he's just one of those classic guys who really only cares about anything or anyone else only if his immediate needs are met who really only cares about anything or anyone else, only if his immediate needs are met and as long as he's having fun. You know, it was one of those fun guys. And I just don't think he, you know,

just like, I don't know if you listen to the Hollywood, Hollywood del interview with him, we went on. And you know, when he was just like, he was like, yeah, I fucked up. And yeah, it's my fault. I'm embarrassed. But then he immediately was just like talking about how, you know, he was basically throwing Ariana the bus saying how like when she found out that, you know, he was going to break up with her or cheating or cheating on her after nine years, how like she, you know, set some out of pocket things. Like, I'm not

going to let you break up with me or something about the a, you know, like the, you know said some out of pocket things like I'm not gonna let you break up with me or Something about the a you know like the eggs, you know, they were doing yes And I'm thinking you're such a fucking you're such a fucking prick like you're breaking you like You you're cheating on her you're breaking up with her and like God forbid someone who's getting their heart shattered who Realizes their world around them is crumbling. They might say some out of pocket crazy shit and then he goes and takes that onto a podcast to try to make her sound crazy. And I just don't think it registers with him. You know what I'm saying? I just think he thinks as cheating is like an option. It's like he he's one of those guys who like know it's bad because people tell him it's really bad. Right. But it's like as far as he's concerned,

he's just like, I mean, I don't know, like, we're too hot people who just like, you know, sees the moment, like, what's the big deal? Like we're living, we're living. Yes. Yeah, I mean, he get, he's acting like he accidentally parked in someone's reserves parking spot. And he's just like honest mistake my bad, you know, like that's this kind of how he treats it. And I just I think he's just one of those guys who doesn't like, for example, like he, he literally took his mom's retirement money to like do this bar. Right. I didn't know that. I don't think I knew that. Yeah, he borrowed a quarter of a million dollars from his mom. To make this bar happen. I mean, is this bar still, are they both

and are they still okay? I think it's, but meanwhile, it's just like, he doesn't show up, he doesn't work, he's just like, he wants it easy, he wants it easy, he wants to do what he wants, how he wants, when he wants, and he doesn't want to get responsibility. And I just don't think yeah, response, the word responsibility, I don't think he knows how to define it. You know, he's just not there. He's everything that my mama taught me not to marry by the way. Yeah, he's like all of these things.

It's like about him. It's selfish thing, right? And it's just like, yeah, I need one of those selfish people who calls everyone else selfish because, you know, like if, you know, that selfish people call their people selfish the most because selfish people think everyone else should be thinking about them and when they're not, they're everyone else is selfish. Oh my God. One thousand. By the way, I just had a reunion for Jersey House. I three days ago. And I literally said that. I was like, the people who fight the hardest about being, you know, saying everyone is selfish, or it's because you're exactly that person, and you're still only thinking about yourself right now,

as a matter of fact, you're so freaking vain that you think everyone else is vain for not worrying about you, or asking about your children instead of my children. It's literally like, please, I agree with that like on another level. But anyway, let's talk real quickly about your podcast, the by-all files because people do love it. So tell me about it.

What do you guys do on there? Yeah, we're primarily a relationship and dating podcast that kind of intersects with pop culture. And obviously, the summer who's come from theicating podcast that intersects with pop culture, and obviously, the someone who's come from the reality TV space, whether it's Bachelorette, or Vanderpom, or Love Is Blind, or even Housewives. We love to have conversations. We love to use those shows, and it's platforms, and starting off points, to talk about real relationship stuff, and things like that. We have three different formats, so we have our ass-nick, which is people just kind of call it and share their stories.

For example, last week we had a woman who was dating a man who realized that she was a lesbian and wanted to like tell him in couples therapy, but then he proposed it was wild. Oh my god. And then we recap the bachelor of Vanderpump and Love is Blind when it's on and then we have our going deeper episodes where we have public figures from actors to musicians to reality TV stars come in and kind of share their stories and you know that lately we like to think of herself as a destination for some of the bigger reality TV

scanners out there and give people a platform to come on and kind of humanize themselves and share their point of view and it's been a lot of fun. Awesome. I know there's a part on there. It's like Ask Nick. It's that portion of the podcast. What do you think some of the best advice that you've ever given to a listener? Like what do you what stands out to you that you're like, this was the best thing I've ever told someone? Let's talk for me to know what the best thing was, but I will say something that resonates with my audience a lot. There was a, well, two, two ring a bell. There was a, a lady who called in who was in kind of a classic

situation ship, right? Or she was dating this guy. I forget if they had a label, but she was just kind of talking a lot about, what he wanted or what he wanted to do. And I basically said, there's your boyfriend, doesn't want to, there are some people out there who like having a girlfriend

or like having a boyfriend, but don't want to be a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And it's important to know the difference. I'm not explaining myself very well. No, I get what you're saying. Like they want to, they want to not be silly. Yeah, they want to have the boyfriend a girlfriend to do things, right? Right. So they want to be able to hang out with their boyfriend a girl

But they don't want the commitment. They don't want the commitment. They don't want to be the boyfriend or the girlfriend when things are required of them And and that really resonated with people also there was a father I called in who talked about how She just knows that he has a lot going on to which I replied, well, we all have a lot going on. Don't you have a lot going on? And I asked her if she wants a partner who's only available when he's not busy or he's not preoccupied or when he has nothing better to do or a partner who can like make your priority even when times are tough or even when he's stressed out, or things like that.

And so a lot of what I talk about is just setting boundaries and expectations, and knowing when to prioritize yourself, and not chase validation, as opposed to love. And one thing I always talk to my audience about, I mean, they'll call in, they'll talk about their chemistry, and they'll talk about all the things that like,

you know, I like Kim or like them, and I said, well, what do you like about how they make you feel? And a lot of people have a hard time answering that question. Because we often decide, we often decide we like someone, you know, this is a pretty common situation in dating, you know, you'll make someone, you feel those sparks for everyone to call up and you'll decide, I like them, You'll literally have this conversation with yourself. You'll decide I like them. You'll tell all your friends, oh, I like them. They're great. He's perfect. And then from that point forward, you stop getting to know them. And your only goal is to

get them to like you. And you, you don't ask them questions. You don't check in. You ignore red flags. You don't, you're not even paying attention how they make you feel, because you had one or two great dates, and then you decided you liked them, and you spend all your time making sure they like you, meanwhile, you have no idea, like, or you're not even paying any attention

to how they're making you feel. And then when you think about how you feel, what you feel is confused, you feel less than, you feel invalidated, you feel sad, you know, and you're just like, you feel less than, you feel invalidated, you feel sad. You know, and you're just like, but I like them. You know, I like them. I like the way you walk.

I like the way you dress. I like the way you talk. We're good. I decided he's got a good job. Yeah. Like paying attention to how someone makes you feel is a, is it seems so obvious and something that we many of us often don't do. That's so true. I love it. Well listen Nick, this has been so much fun from therapy to all your relationship advice to meeting fun housewives in Chicago.

Honestly, it was great talking to you and all my listeners, you need to be sure to check out his podcast, the Viall files. Nick, I wish you the best planning this wedding and just everything you've got going on in life. I need to tune in and listen to the podcast because I love relationship advice. So I'm going to be tuning in. Well, check it out, Melissa. It's been fun talking with you. And if you ever find yourself in LA, we'd love to have you on. Okay, perfect. Perfect. Thank you. It was so nice to meet you. Likewise. Bye. Bye-bye. See what's screaming all month long during Pluto TV's April Gools. Watch hauntingly good movies like Evil Dead and Cloverfield, or terrifying shows like The Walking Dead and Noose for Ato. Plus, CludoTV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies and TV shows, available on live and on demand. Download the free CludoTV app on all your favorite devices.

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