On Display with Melissa Gorga - Written in the Stars (w/ Colin Bedell)

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

Melissa welcomes astrology and relationship expert, Colin Bedell, onto the show to get the low down on her astrological chart, what we should all be focused on when Mercury is in retrograde, and the hard truth about addressing conflict in relationships.  Colin also gives us a preview of his new astrological dating show, Written in Stars, out in November on Discovery+.  This week's sponsors:  Chime - Credit Builder Visa Credit Card: chime.com/melissa (no interest or annual fee credit card) Clare - Online Paint Made Easy: clare.com/melissa (10% off)  Everlywell - Personal Digital Healthcare: everlywell.com/melissa (20% off at-home lab test)

I gave you all my details. I give you date, time, place, everything. What do you got? What do you got for me? What do you got? I got it. What do you see in my life? What's up, everyone?

Welcome to another episode of Melissa Gorga on display. You guys know I talked to you all the time about how I throw this big Halloween party and it's like the party of the year. Everybody wants the invite. Well, guess what Melissa Gorga did this year canceled it. I canceled the party because I'm so stressed out with the move into the new house right now and just like everything in shambles were doing landscaping This that the other thing that I'm like Sometimes you just have to say no like I have so much on my plate and I canceled it I know I feel like it's the worst news ever my friends are pissed by the way But I decided I'm gonna do like Decided I'm gonna do like a holiday party instead. It's really something I don't normally do, but I think I'd be very good at that because I put up like seven Christmas trees.

So I think I'm going to try that, but that's just for this year. We're going to go back to our regular schedule programming next year. I'm going to throw my Halloween party. Besides for that, I just want to say that the Melissa and I are really taking off out there. So thank you to all the Melissa and I keep to you with everything on display because I'm loving reading it. I love listening to your husbands like watch it and do their laundry and listen

to on display. Like that's amazing to me. This is like great contact. Also, I need to give a shout out to Bree Poole who you know DM to me. This is like great also I need to give a shout out to Bree Poole who, you know, DM to me her gorgeous cute little daughter like singing and dancing to the theme song of this podcast. So stay tuned. We're gonna

give you a little surprise later. All right, I am actually super excited about this because if you know me, you know, I'm very into this stuff. You guys are going to know him for his weekly horoscopes in Cosmo. He's a best selling author, the hosts of Good Rising's podcast, and he's one of the most

trusted astrologers out there. You can also see him on his new show written in the stars. It's out this November, ladies and gentlemen. I have Mr. Colin B out this November. Ladies and gentlemen, I have Mr. Colin Bidell today. Hi. Hi, Melissa. It's an honor to be talking to you. So shortly after the Fumonan aries, I want to talk to an aries influence person and see how the lunation is affecting you. Oh my God. See, so I am so curious. I'm very into it, by the way, just so you know, this is the astrology. I won't say that

I'm very seasoned or that like I have a lot of facts and that's what you're here for. I want to know. So what did you just say to me? Explain that to me. Right. You're like, what is this? What language? Well, also to astrology is so loaded. Melissa, that like it's okay. It's such a big and vast conversation. We're all doing the best we can with it. So once a year, we have an annual full moon in our zodiac sign. So like, airy season is typically March 20th or March 21st, depending on the year and last all month.

And then the full moon in airy's is six months later in your half birth day. And so when the sun is in Aries, it's all about Aries stepping forward and starting new things and beginning new dreams. And then when it's the full moon in Aries, it's actually all about completion. It's all about things that need to be ended so that when six months from now, Aries season begins, theoretically, you're going to be ready than ever, if that makes sense. So every year, our zodiac sign gets an annual full moon, and it's all about healing and completion.

Only the airy sign. Is it just the airy? Once a month, there's a full moon in a particular zodiac sign. Right? Like in on November 8, there's going to be the full moon in Taurus, right? So once a year, it's a full moon, okay? But we get hours around the opposite sign season.

So like your opposite sign is Libra. So Libra season is right now. And that's why we have a full moon in areas because it's the opposite sign. So it's all about balance, it's all about integration. Yeah. Is it about change? So is that happening to me right now? Is that what you're saying?

Yes. And because you are in areas and we have some really strong transit happening for and through areas, it's all about change. It's all about new vision. It's about freedom, independence and autonomy in a different way because that's what airy stands for is a zodiac sign that's like not afraid to stand alone and not afraid to be an independence, right? Which is hard for a lot of people. And so that's why we lean on Aries to help us see how it's done. Wow. Well, let me just tell you, whenever I read anything about my sign or like who in Aries is. Yeah. When I tell you it's me to a tea, like it's actually crazy to me. I'm like, that's me. That is the first day of Aries. Yes, you are. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm like, that's me. That is going to be the first day of Aries, because that's the first, right?

Yes, yes, yes. I was going to tell you that, which is super cool. You were born on the first day of spring, the first day of Aries, and astrologers love that, because when you're in Aries, like you're already kind of the first,

but when you're born on the first day of Aries season, it's just an extra oomph, and it adds some extra judge to it. Yeah. Yeah, it makes me like a really like all areas. All areas through my veins. I feel like going, and I have to be honest, it's not a bad sign for a girl. When I'm reading it, it's very nurturing to children.

Great moms, totally in charge. Loves to be the center of attention. Fun girl. I'm like, this is all me. I mean, what's wrong with that? You're an amazing company. Melissa fun girl. I'm like this is all me. I mean what's wrong with that? You're an amazing company Melissa lady Gaga. I'm right. Kerry are we the Franklin Diana Ross glorious thinam shock a con Celine Dion. Yeah, so the gaze love aries women as speaking on behalf of gaze We love you. I love it. I love it. I Write in a thousand percent a thousand percent. So hopefully you're feeling that push

to kind of complete what needs to be completed. Wrap up loose ends and start new things in an effort to prepare yourself for the next six months. Well, I can't say exactly what's happening, but can I tell you that is exactly what's happening. Like I literally wrapping something huge about entered a whole new thing, getting myself organized and like,

refocusing. It's so crazy. That's literally what I'm doing. Oh, I love that. And as an astrologer, that's what we're looking for. When we're doing readings or when we're talking to people, is like, does the client's life match up with the divine timing that astrology intends for them. Does that

make sense? Right? Yes. Because we sort of have a good sense of like what the schedule is for the client when we have their birth chart. And when the client reflects without them even knowing that they're already doing what the astrology intends them to do, we get the joy to sort of say, hey, congratulations, keep doing that. You have a strong intuition. And whatever you are completing and whatever you're beginning will probably be really successful because it's aligned with the schedule in the chart.

Okay. I love it. So when does this, when does this part end? And it goes into like March 21st. Is that when it ends? That's when this, that's when this completion theme ends correct. And then honestly, Melissa, all like the first half of 2023 has Aries success written all over it. It doesn't take a nose dive or anything

into that, but it's just like, I can. Good. I love it. It's the now purpose. I know for all the Aries listening, that the first six months has your success from all over it. Yeah, and it happens once every 11 years. So this is a pretty rare, but relatively frequent opportunity period. So if I were you, I would take just a lot of audacious, courageous, brave risks towards stepping into all of the things that provide you with freedom, a sense of independence, and full aliveness. Because that's really what Aries is here to teach us is like, what does it

mean to be fully alive? What does it mean for us to be fully excited and connected and vibrant? That's all Aries. Wow, well, I'm going to dive into all of that. So shout out to all the Aries out there. Yeah. This is our time. We need to do that right now. OK, so is that for men and women? Is it? Oh, yeah, all aries. And actually, anybody who has aries in their astrology chart, right?

So your sunshine is just a fraction of your whole astrological story. It's incredibly important, right? But there's a lot of other dimensions to you, okay? And so people listening might have aries in their chart and they're like, why do I connect to these themes? But I was born between March 20th and April 22nd. That's because they might have aries in their astrology and it relates to them too. So they could find that out if they just go on any like free astrology chart, software, and determine where Aries is

in their chart. All right, so let me ask you this, because this is always a question I have. It's true that certain signs do make a match together. So when they say like, oh my God, I can't be with a Libra, they don't work for me, or like a Libra for instance, Joe and I are a Leo in an area. Yes, yes.

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, baby. Is this true with relationships? Talk to me a little bit about like relationships. Really? Well, I'm so glad you asked, because that really is the cornerstone of my work. I'm also getting trained as like a couple's coach. So I love using astrology as like a lens

for greater understanding. So yes, but to your point, actually, there's no single right answer. I actually believe that every single zodiac sign can learn to be compatible with every single zodiac sign Okay, because I'll tell you what Melissa like when you look at your astrological chart and this is true for everybody, right?

Every single zodiac sign is present there and so when we say, oh, I'm an aries, and I can't do Taurus or I'm a Gemini, and I can't do Virgo, you're actually distancing yourself from something that is there for a reason. You see what I'm saying? Like the zodiac has all 12 zodiac signs. And so there might be a particular tension that this zodiac sign is here to teach you, right? And we don't love it, but it could be really helpful and instructive. So I caution people to when they're looking at astrology, not go into it with, oh, I would never get along well with this

one, right? And actually ask, like, is there something that this sign is here to teach me that I haven't quite yet wrapped my head in heart around, right? And then of course, like if you're in the same element as you are with Joe and Sagittarius or you three of the fire signs, naturally there's going to be an affinity towards each other. And then sometimes they're going to be conflict too, you know. So it's there's never, you know, an easy breezy, beautiful cover girl relationship dynamic. But I do encourage people to go in with an open mind and let the dynamic teach you something that you didn't know before meeting that person or connecting with that person.

Okay, I like that. So that's like your forte. You're really great with like relationships and helping people understand their signs in a relationship. Well, I'd like to believe that. I'm like, because that would be some type of like you know stuff that we don't know that, right? So like, okay, it helps. Yeah, go ahead. But you study that. That's what you, you, you, okay, good. Yeah, I'm being trained right now by relational life therapy. So Bruce Springsteen speaking of Jersey, his couple's therapist turns real started a training institute called relational life therapy and I'm getting certified in his methodology and I love it because they welcome anybody who does

astrology or spirituality. So he was really encouraging of like me providing a level of astrological insight and then his tips and techniques helped me in my readings and in my compatibility sessions to sort of tell people who are interested in astrology, don't go in with a preconceived notion that just because you're this sign and your partner is that sign means you're fundamentally doomed to incompatibility or divorce. That's not actually true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, that makes sense. I mean, it gets deep. For me, like, you can get very deep astrology. It's like a very, it's a conversation. It makes me want to light a candle here in my office. Oh, light a candle.

Come on, by the side. Right. It's almost like food for the soul for me. Like I enjoy it. I truly do. And it's like soothing. It's soothing. Oh, that makes me happy.

I have other questions. I hope hopefully we'll have answers. We'll see. Okay. So a lot of my friends, I have one particular shout out to Don. It's like mercury is dawn. Mercury is in retrograde. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this mean that you can't find a paper? You can't make big decisions. You can't. I don't understand what this means.

Yes. So I'm so glad you asked. We'll shout out to Don for providing us with that, you know, advances. I'm from Long Island. So when I hear we call it on right, I don't like what's the difference? I don't know. Um, but so Mercury retrogrades three to four times a year. And so what it essentially asks us to do is really just make sure that we are completing and following through on commitment before starting something else because it's so easy for us to say yes. And you know, begin things and then lose steam halfway and get a little unsure. And so we kind of like forget about it and put it to the back of the closet

and then hope to God it'll just disappear. Right. Mercury retrogrades actually again, an opportunity period for us to slow down, follow through in our commitments and walk the talk with greater integrity. Yeah. And so reductively,

simplistically speaking, you would want to be really careful about starting something brand new during Mercury RetroReview, because it's not asking for that. It's asking for review and follow through, right? And if you're not saying don't, it's not saying you can never correct. Right. And I, and in my readings, in my horoscopes, most of I never speak without level of like finality or determinism, because it's a little bit more complicated than that. Right. The simplest broadest answer is don't, but I don't think that's true for everyone.

Right. Your whole is so definitive. It's like, how do you say, no, what if you have to sign the house paper that day? Are you going to lose the house? Yeah. Right. And then just because Mercury's retrograde, you're going to say, no, I'm not going to put in this law

for, you know, where are you Mercury, retrograde? Where are you at? Because I just lost the towel. Come on. This is the market. It's crazy. No, I know. So technically, you could, right?

It would just want to, it would just ask for an extra layer of, you know, fallen and discernment. But if you were trying to complete something during Mercury Retrograde, that's past do, right? Say you wanted to put in the offer on the house, but you avoided it or you wanted to put it in the book proposal, but you were procrastinating. Then do it, right?

It's a great time to finish and follow through on the commitment and things can get a little like confusing and ambiguous. But again, I think if we just allow ourselves to slow down, don't over commit an underdeliver, Mercury retrograde can be really effective. Yeah. Okay, so it's a real thing. Guys, as someone who is just moving into her new home, let me tell you about Claire. This is so genius to me. Claire is a new online paint brand that makes paint shopping simple. We all want to create a beautiful home that reflects our personal style and paint is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to totally transform your home

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Where did an astrology even come from? Like do you know like who started? Who, where this is deep a little bit? This is probably a deep question, but like, no, I love that you're asking. Who decided that this was a thing and who decided that if you're born on March 21st and your characteristics are going to be this, this and this, right? Right. Well, actually, so it's a combination of cultures from the ancient era, right? So we could say that astrology, as we know it, is a function of Hellenistic cultures, right? So we could also locate some of the early sociological artifacts to a Syria, which is

modern day Iraq. So it has origins in the Middle East, it has connections to Egypt, it has correlations to Greece and Rome, so the Hellenistic realm. Right? But what's interesting is that it wasn't really until the 1940s or 50s when the United States started to really popularize it because of a British astrologer who accurately predicted the royal family's changes. Wow. Right, so yeah, no, we could go into this. And my friend Christopher Renstrom is a historian on astrology

and has done phenomenal research into determining why it's popularized today. And you know what, speaking of women, it's been an employment opportunity for women in times where women couldn't even open up a checkings account without her husband's signature. Women were becoming self-employed with astrology around kitchen tables with their girlfriends in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. Now this I love. This I love. Thiss and 60s. Now this I love this I love this I love this I love Yeah and and a little opportunity to have their own little business and 100

percent people about astrology which that's amazing yeah and in the early 1900s and astrology named Evangelion Adams she had such a successful astrology business all over New York City that like Carnegie Hall rented her out like seven rooms. And yeah, and Americans were eating her up during the 1930s because she was giving them hope to him the great suppression and having a woman, you know, a public facing spiritual woman back then was unheard of. So astrology has a really, yeah, don't let me get started. And there's something in your astrology

that is curious about history too. So just to go ahead. See, I'm very, so that's what I want to say. I gave you all my details. I gave you date, time, place, everything. What do you got? What do you got for me? What do you got?

I got it, you know, what do you see in my life? Yeah, well, actually, what I wanted to say is, yes, like you bring the fire baby, make no mistake. I my life? Yeah, well, actually, what I wanted to say is, yes, like, you bring the fire baby, make no mistake. I don't know if this is, if this part were recorded, but when you walked in, you said, I had told them the windows, it was so hot in here, right? I'm like, okay, Aries, it's written the fire on, okay?

But what I also wanted to say is that you actually have a lot of earth in your astrology, Melissa, which can't be overstated or over, overvalued enough. So do you know what your rising and moonsurines are? Or? Okay, so I'm gonna share the screen. So I'm just gonna share this. Show me. Because I'm sure we want a visual representation. So this is your astrological chart and you're actually a Virgo rising and a Capricorn moon. So those are two of the three earth signs. The other one is Taurus, right? And you have, you have another, you have another configuration in Taurus. So you

can see here on the left hand side of the software, you have a very strong earth constitution in earth quality to you, meaning you're not all talk. You are also all about the walk. You're all about reliability. You're all about a sense of say what you mean and file through in your commitment. Because if I see a discrepancy, it's going tell you that. Like all my ducks are in a row to the point of like something's wrong with me. No, no, that's called a Virgo Stelium. Now, let me tell you where I got that language from, right? So you have three as the configurations in Virgo. There is no ZoniEx on with more attention to detail and organization than Virgo. Yeah. And it's not that areas isn't organized, but they're just on the move like they got to do, you know, like that movement they're going. They're not here to like alphabetize their

office and color code binders, but you get a lot of satisfaction from it when you do it, and you do appreciate a certain level of ease and organization, right? And that's your rising sign. So believe it or not Melissa, other people despite the fact that you're a public figure, they're not immediately going to pick up on Aries energy. They're going to pick up on Virgo, which is an energy that wants to maintain reliability, a sense of calm, and also intelligent deep conversation.

Virgo is, when I see Virgo in a chart, I know I'm talking to somebody incredibly intelligent, even if they don't need, they don't need on to it. It might be a superpower. They might kind of keep it close to their chest because they don't want to reveal that they've been observing and watching the whole time. Right.

But you have many markers of critical intelligence. And so additionally, that's your rising time, right? So other people interpret Virgo when they first meet you. So just a person who was paying attention to you. So is the rising sign stronger than your, like, give me the difference between rising sign and your sign? Yeah, great question. Well, technically, it depends on what a strategy we ask, right?

So there's a bit of a debate about it. But I would say that they're all important actually. So you're trying to always think about Melissa integration, not alteration. Integration. Not an answer. We're going to integrate, we're going to integrate baby and what does integrate mean to make whole, right?

Instead of like moving over here and moving over there, no, all about integration, right? But it's helpful to know that one other people first meet you, they're not going to pick up on that airy's fire force. They're going to pick up on a sense of calm, tranquility, proms, starving, and active service, right? I like the, I'm, I love all my signs. I'm doing good over here. It's more good, baby. I was born on a good day, but no, I think you're actually right because to first meet me,

I don't come off that way, but then to get to know me, I'm dancing on the ceilings on the party girl. But come on. Right. That's the thing. I think Virgo rising is smart enough to determine, like, oh, let me read a room here. Like, earth signs are all about reading a room, you know, I was making sure that they're not swinging from the shantylea, is that that's not the time and space that's called for it. But if it's time for a party, Melissa's showing up and showing out. Come on. Then the airy's queen comes out.

That's right. And the gaze always want the airy's queen to come out, put your burger rise and it's like, hold on. Let me just make sure here. And then your moon sign represents what you're born as. And it's the crown jewel of the chart. So it actually looks, it kind of locates your emotionality around things, right? So your moon sign is Capricorn.

What do you know about the sign of Capricorn? Not much. So fill me in. OK. So it's another earth sign, right? So remember, you have all three earth signs in your astrology, Virgo, Capricorn and Taurus. The Capricorn moon is a person who, theoretically,

really knows how to regulate their emotion and not embarrass themselves. Right? There can be moments of breaking. There can be moments of like, oh, now I'm going to, you know, you're going to know about it. But there is this value on what psychologists would call emotion regulation. So you said, aha, what is what came up for you around that? Go ahead. I'm just saying the self control. I definitely have that self control aspect. Listen, I have all these different pieces of these signs that really do

make a great housewife for pretty chosen. No, but it's funny because like everything you're saying, there is a little bit, little bits and pieces of everything, right? Yes. And you know what? To make it super deep and woo-woo, right? Like, yeah, you have all the 12 signs, like your mood is in Capricorn. So, irrefutably, you are here to honor and express the best of like a regulated, kind of controlled Capricorn. But they're going to be people that are watching that are like, I see something myself in that too. And why? Because check this out. Every single zodiac sign is in your natal chart. Wow. So like we, so to say it kind of in a big metaphysical way, like we are one, we are each other.

An astrology shows that here. Right? we are each other. And astrology shows that here, right? I'm not it. Everybody connects. So that's what I mean by like, no, there's no, I don't get along well with you because you're over here. It's like, no, that person's in your astrology. So you better look at yourself and examine what, what part are you playing in the dynamic you're not happy with? Because they can't all be them. Be nice, real convenient for you, but it can't all be them. Right. So anyway, back to the moon and capricorn, you are very regulated and you also value when other people are too. You're happy to hold space and provide a sense of empathy, but you're a solution

focused, kind of responder. You don't want to sit and wallow in the aint it awful. You're like, and what are you doing about it? Because you're not going to be doing it. Don't alternate. Okay. Someone's a good student. Hey, it's all that creation, not alternation and just kind of inspiring people to like say, Hey, look, life is hard. And what are you doing in about it? All right, there's got to be some. Okay. So with all of my signs and, and everything going on, give me some to be some. Okay, so with all of my signs and everything going on, give me some bad about me.

What's that? What am I not? What is not going to go over well with this Aries Virgo Capricorn girl? How about this? How about this? No, I appreciate the, okay, and now on some real shit. All right. Where do I show my ass?

Give me all my shit about me. Come on. You blow smoke up my butt. Now what? No, so what I'll tell you Melissa is that every challenge that we have, Give me all my shit about me. Come on. You blow smoke up my butt now. What? No. So what I'll tell you, Melissa, is that every challenge that we have is on the same continuum as our strengths. OK.

So it's not that something is bad about us, right? It's that we have a challenge because it's actually a function of a larger strength. And that's true for everyone. Yeah, right. And doesn't that make sense? And then we can kind of take this thing. Oh, go ahead. What did you want to say to that?

No, that makes sense. That puts like a positive spin on it. So it's like there's definitely things that are more challenging. Yeah. But it's not bad. It's not bad because it's an extension of your strength. And we as human beings are responsible to recognize that we're works in progress. But we're also pretty whole and worthy as we are too.

We're both, right? And astrology gives the language for both. So the strength of Virgo is that they're inefficiency radars and they could be like, this is out of alignment over here. You need to fix that over there. The challenges, they can be a little critical and perfectionistic. Right? So it's my-

Oh my god. This is, if Joe were sitting in this room right now. He'd slide me into the table. He had any complaint about me. And there's you, you know, I'm very ill say she's the cleanest most organized goes with the flow. He'll have a list like this. Of the positives and why he's happy married me. And then I'll say that when I'm giving, like I criticize, like I'm a little bit critical or like I'm a little harsh when you don't put something where I thought it should be. Or like if you got, if you came out of your room

and you were in this outfit, now poor Joe, just kind of like, if you can come out of the room, I'm like, what are you wearing, Leo? Meaking like turn your head so rat like and I don't have like a softness about it. I'm very much so like, how did you not know that this isn't working? Right. Is there a mirror in your room?

Because last time I checked that was, did you look at it on the way out? No, but not just something like that. It could be like very, I can be critical. I feel like I can be. So I will say that this is all crazy. I told you, I'm exactly what I said I am. I love it. Yeah.

No, you kept it real from the very beginning. Well, I'll tell you what, what you want to know is that, again, Virgo does have to be the one, you know, Beyonce's a Virgo. And I love how in her documentary in Homecoming, she said, I don't want to see, I don't want to move forward until I see my notes applied. So she's basically saying, I told you this is out of alignment and inefficient. And so, I don't want to move forward until you correct what I told you to correct. That precondition has

not been met. We're not moving forward until I see my note supplied. Right. That's Virgo. And efficiency. Yeah. And they have high standards, right? And just fun fact, Melissa, for every one critical thing that we say to our lovers, we have to compliment that with five positive things. That's what I'm going to call for. I like that. That's great advice. We love it, right? Five to one.

Yeah, because you make them feel bad for a second or a little harsh, then you have to say like, put your eyes and your face and you're so good at this. Exactly. Exactly. I like that though. I think that's a good just marriage rule by the way. That's an also rule for married people and partners and whatever. That's a great rule. Yes.

Yes. And I got that from the Gottman Institute. They've been studying relationships for decades. And then with the moon and Capricorn, right, so there's this quality of emotional regulation. You are calm under pressure. Like if somebody was coming at you with a large scale problem, you wouldn't over react and make a frustrating situation more frustrating because you can maintain calm, right?

But you said it in your words perfectly. The challenge is when people do not do what the Capricorn moon expects of them, they can be incredibly harsh. Because there's critical, which is like kind of words, but then there can be a toneness and an approach in Capricorn Moon. That can be a little like, bam, a little punishing. And you're just like, whoa, whoa. It's come from, yeah, hey, oh, take it easy, take it easy. Right. That's that's the way to Capricorn. Go ahead. Did you want to say something to that? Well, you posted a video too about relationships and that is it time

to cut someone out, right? And I loved it because you really share tips to try your best to save something before you have to cut someone out. I love this. Talk to me about this. Oh, thank you. Yeah, because you know what what I'm concerned that the popular discourse on relationship right now provides two options either stay together or I block your number or at least on social media. I don't know if you've noticed that but it's well Yeah, no, I know and it really ties back into finding the good right and figuring out Right and and the integrate don't alternate. Okay, okay, okay.

And then how about Melissa? Like, what do you think that if there's a perfect person out there, they're looking for you? Yeah, no, no, no. And like that's just it. And these are also, these are actually really great tips for repairing like a broken relationship also. Preparing, yes, honey, yes, yes, because that's what this is about.

It's about relationship repair. The fact of the matter is where there's love, there's conflict. And because we love one another, we're kind of subconsciously programmed to show us each other the worst parts of our personality. That's the cost of admission for marriage and relationship. I wish it wasn't true. I don't know why that happens But it's just you want to play you got to pay so what I try to do with people is let them know there are other

Steps before you cut somebody out of your life to repair this relationship because I'll tell you well What if you're not going to learn with this person? You know how the universe operates They're going to come around wearing a different pair of pants and it might be a little worse until you get the memo that you're playing a part in this as well. So let's talk about repair. But to contextualize, you know, I don't want to be too harsh. Like, you know, we're living in really hard times and people are feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, burnt out, resentful. So like they can't handle just another relational dysfunction, right? So that's why it's either I'm with you and everything's easy for you, beautiful cover girl,

or I cut you off because I can't handle another stress right now. But we have to learn how to have tough conversations with people. We love otherwise we're we're gonna set ourselves up for a lot of loneliness, I think. How about the grasses and greener on the other side? It's greener where you water it. Water it. Okay, pass in the air. He's the water.

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EverlyWell.com slash Melissa. All right, well, listen, talk to me about this show that you have on Discovery Plus. It starts in November. I would all be tuning in because all of this tuning I really will. I'm very intrigued. I believe in all this stuff. I love it. Oh, that would be so great. Yeah. So it's cold right in the stars and it's produced by a British production company, which was really nice. Just kind of see

the way that Brits interact with each other. Right. I was the only American in the whole set. And so it's going to be on Discovery Plus, U.S. and Discovery Plus UK. And myself and two other astrologers, Michelle Knight and Francesca Adi, we matched make certain couples and wanted to watch how it would, how they would develop. And it's hosted by BBC One Journalist Clara Ampho, who I absolutely love. And it was incredible Melissa because from a research point of view, you know, many astrologers don't have the luxury of like matchmaking people and watching them interact on 35 different you know, jumbo trunks.

You're in reality TV. You know how the production goes. So it was incredible to watch certain zodiac signs connect the way that we anticipated certain people, not even though we thought for sure our hypothesis was correct. And it was really, I think, helpful to not just throw a bunch of singles in a villa in Greece, because that's where it was filmed, but actually like, support them among the relationship stages in the sequence of learning how to love and receive love. Because that's what happens to these poor singles. We throw them in the shark tank, cover them blood, and say, okay, survive.

Whereas like, they don't, they're learning, right? And so that's what I really appreciate about how this show was done differently is we skill build it with them. We taught them. We helped them change the way that they communicate to connect. And honestly, I'm so proud of the results. It was done with so much integrity, so much education. And you'll probably watch going like, oh, I don't know if I relate to this. And then in five seconds, you'll be like, oh, I'm totally this person, right? You're like, singles, it singles, it's dating, it's relationships. That's what it's based around. Yeah. Oh, I love it even more now. That's, that's awesome. Yeah. I love it. Even more now. That's awesome. Yeah, because it's so they don't, but how does the astrology kind of

integrate with it? Do they discuss it on the show? Is that how that's so that that was really cool. Every episode we go into a different astrological topic. And we they work the contestants were casted with zero astrological knowledge, right? So sometimes they know a little bit and sometimes they don't. So like the audience is not going to be left behind with some of the information that we teach them because the cast was learning at the same time, right? And then they

kind of express and an act for certain actions and strategies without giving too much away, what the astrological topic was that we taught on that morning. So it was, it was like a full crash course, you know, educational experience. And I'm really proud of the way that they responded because I'll be honest with you, I was nervous, you know, I don't know how astrology is expressed in Britain. I don't know how, you know, these heterosexual men who, you know, have never talked about sunsines a day in their life. We're going to react and need talking to them about their moonsine. But that's interesting alone just to see the reactions of these people with like, wait, what are you saying?

I'll see if they welcome it or if they're pushing it away. And Melissa, we had no idea. We had no idea where that was going to go. Yeah. So you'll kind of be on the journey with us with them, then us together. And it was, you know, I'm really proud of the level of sincerity that was present here. And just the willingness from the contestants to just experiment and see if there's validity to it. And there were a lot of skeptics on the show. They were like, I don't know about all this, you know.

And then you could see as they started experimenting and applying with it, their results changed. And they said, okay, I don't necessarily know that it's working or why it's working, but I know it's working. So what else can you tell me? You know, so I was so happy with it. Yeah, I can't wait to see it. And it's, and it's final edited glory. So we'll say, I mean, listen, it sounds great. We're all definitely going to have to check out written in the stars in November. Right, Colin, I have one final question for you that all of us can kind of take home and tuck in our pockets.

How? Okay, so this is what I want to know. How can family members, friends, castmates, co-workers, how can we all communicate with each other just a little better? Do you have any advice for us on that? Oh my God, I love this question. Can I ask you a question and then a comment for Laura? I asked Jersey Long Island girls, I'll swear I'll let you go, hon. One more thing, right? All right, one more question. Go ahead, go ahead, hon. What made you ask that question? You know, I there's obviously a lot going on in the world right now. And just to be honest, I'm always trying to communicate better. I am sometimes I feel like it's a hard thing for me.

And I have so many people that I communicate with daily. And I have to be honest, like whether it be my envy girls, my employees at my boutique, my cast members, which is another job of mine, which is also castmates, which are then family members, which is then my husband who I hang out, just hung up with. And sometimes if I'm aggressive, like I, I honestly, I would always think that to communicate better is like you're scoring if you can figure that out in love, right? Well, Melissa, and there's, I won't bore you with the details. Maybe we'll do this on a part two, but there's so many astrological reasons why you would be saying that. That's right. There in your astrology.

Is that right? 100%. So I just, I love that you're expressing it. So it's like, what would make you ask that question? Yeah, I just think about like to myself, like if you're, if you're thinking about all of this communication, right? And I feel like this, a lot of what you talked about today, just in astrology in general, has to do with communication, how you work well with this day, how you work well during this time, who you're with that day. Like there's a lot of communication things going on here. Yes, and you're right. When we know how to expand our language, our whole world opens up to us. Second chances, new beginnings, apology, forgiveness. When we know the right words at

the right time, what that will do to change the quality of our life, right? So I just, I love that you ask that. And what I'll actually say is, it's not an astrological answer. It's something that I learned from an international relation scholar, but the idea is postpone persuasion until you can successfully articulate another person's point of view to their satisfaction. Wow, wow, now that you're 100, that's so true. Right, Jersey girl, because what happens is, if I can explain why you why you're pissed off right and why you're mad without hurting your feelings and with you wonder like me hitting the nail in the head as to why you are upset. Correct. That's that's communication right there. Yeah, because you want to know I'll speak numbers to you real fast. Our average listening accuracy from when other people are talking to us on a good day is 13%.

So we just, so we distort in language Melissa, 87% of the communication that we hear. And then we get into unnecessary drama, conflict, defensiveness, withdrawal, and attack and defend from 87% of stuff we didn't even see or hear. So we postponed the persuasion and we say, hold on a minute, let me make sure I got this right. You're upset at me because of A, B and C and one, two, three. And then they could be like, no, I'm mad because when I left the house, I thought I look good.

Whatever, don't be my outfit sucks. Right, damn girl, right? So a lot of us immediately go into persuasion, What ever goes on with my outfit sucks. Right. Damn, girl. Right. So a lot of us immediately go into persuasion. We go into convincing. We react from this place. And I just think it's helpful for us to acknowledge. Like, wow, I'm distracted or I was juiced up about something else emotionally. I just stored it this whole situation.

And let me just make sure I got this right. Are you upset? And if we could do that, oh my God, the years that we would save of just unnecessary drama and the efficiency we would have in those moments to be like, hold on a minute, back that up. Why did you say that? Right. Without a doubt, that would just, that would cure half of the problems that go on in relationships easily. And I love that you mentioned that because that's really what it comes down to. A lot of problems Melissa can't even be solved because they are a function of

central personality differences. So there's no. No, personally, like, and people would say that about the rehearsals in New Jersey, if I'm being honest, yeah, let's talk about, you know, my sister-in-law and I with the way we go in circles for the last 14 years. A lot of that is because she can say ABC and D, and I didn't, I don't see one thing that she said, we're just totally on two different, I don't even understand it. She doesn't understand what I'm saying. Like exactly what you just said is literally what happens to us all the time. And it's like a miracle round of a circle. And when she speaks to me, it's gibberish and probably vice versa.

And I disagree with every word most of the time. So that's a problem. And that's just me being honest. Like, you know, so it's it's a problem sometimes with communication. And that's why I think it does it does make a big difference as to how you approach a conflict, right? And how you're going to like grab it and figure out how you're going to tell them, like, I didn't like this. Yes.

Right? Because that's the key to it all. It really is. One, you see you summarize it beautifully. It's, it's just like, I didn't like this. I wasn't sure about that. And if we actually avoid those tough conversations with initiating around, I agree or disagree. I believe I didn't like this. I wasn't sure about that. And if we actually avoid those tough conversations with initiating around, I agree or disagree.

I believe I don't believe I'm right. You're wrong. It's not about that. You want to get on the shared grounding of understanding. Do we understand one another? We don't have to agree and we don't have to believe. But do I understand your thought process? If not, let me clarify in fact, check and ask questions. But we don't do that when we're defensive and we're reduced

stuff and we feel like we're persuading and we have to convince you of your guilt. We don't do that. Of course, and it's obviously it's a difference between someone doesn't have to be right or wrong and the understanding if we can all get to that place, you should sit at the reunion with Andy Cohen. It's not as right or wrong. We're gonna understand each other tonight. Yeah Yes, me and another Gemini boy. I'll try my best, but that's really what it comes down to it I'm so glad you asked that question because now your listeners can go. Oh, how many conversations do I initiate from the approach of let me persuade Let me convince let me help you see what I did nothing wrong right right? Good luck with that

Exactly. No, this is so true. Well Colin. This has been so much fun. It really is so funny because No, really you told me so much about myself and things that I feel like I I thought but I didn't know and I was dying to talk to you about this. So, um, and I absolutely love the idea of integrate Don't alternate. Hello. I love it. I'm just throwing it out there. Um, and just like getting on this shared

ground of understanding. I really do. I love all that. So make sure you guys all my listeners out there. Be sure to check out his new show, written in the stars. It's out in November on Discovery Plus. And you have an awesome podcast that we all need to listen to.

It's called Good Rising, right? Yeah, and I host the Rising Signs. Excellent. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, so thank you so much for coming on. It's so much fun with you today. Oh, likewise. Thank you Melissa for listening with an open mind

and an open heart and like structuring the conversation so that people listening can take something actionable with them. That was exactly how you had to do it as a host. So thank you for doing it. Of course. I truly loved it. So and you're awesome. So nice to meet you.

I like what I'll be I'll be reading everything in Cosmo that you have to say. Please, and every time I write errors, I'll be like, hi, Melissa. I'll just say, Hey, Melissa. I'll leave you like this. Yeah, just say, hey, Melissa, it's Aries Day. Remember the five to one rule. Couple of my Joe five times. Yay. All right, honey.

Thank you so much. So nice to meet you. You're like, guys, like, guys. Oh, oh, before we go, Bree Pool, we have a little surprise for you. Here you go. I'm gonna go back to the place where I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go back to the place where I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go back to the place where I'm gonna go.

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