Open Book with Anthony Scaramucci - It's Time to Lighten the F*ck Up with Madison Malloy

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

This week, Anthony talks with comedian Madison Malloy about her book ‘Time to Lighten the F*ck Up” perfectly described as a raunchy self-help guide with a side of humor. From Wall Street to a standup comedian and entrepreneur, Madison shares her advice for navigating the crazy moments in life and getting out of your own way whilst doing so. As someone that has also experienced many of life’s uncertainties, Anthony opens up about his biggest regrets, insecurities - and even some of his Botox secrets. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hello, I'm Anthony Scaramucci and this is Open book where I talk with some of the brightest minds out there about everything surrounding the written word from authors and historians to figures and entertainment, neuroscientists, political activists, and of course, Wall Street. Sorry, I can't resist. Before we get into today's episode, if you haven't already, please hit follow or subscribe, wherever you get your podcast, and leave us a review. We all love a review, even the bad ones. I want to hear the

parts you're enjoying or how we can do better. You know, I can roll with the parts. punch it. So let me know. Anyways, let's get to it. My guest today is always so much fun to chat with. Like me, Madison Malloy says it how it is. We've got to pave our own way in life, not be offended and lighten the you know what up. I think if there's two people that can tell you exactly how to do that, it's Madison and I. So I hope you're ready for it. Okay, so joining us now on Open Book is Madison Malloy. She's an author, a producer. She's a podcast. She's a podcast. And she's out with a great book. She's also a comedian, by the way.

She does great stand-up comedy. You can see it in the book. The book is titled Time to Lighten the Fuck Up. See, we actually curse on Open Book, Madison. I know you put the little asterisk in there. But it's time to lighten the fuck up, a self-help guide with a side of humor. Okay, Madison, last time I interviewed you, you were on Mooch and the Misses. It was me and Deer Geregis Garamucci.

You only have me today. Yep. What do you think? Can I handle Madison Malloy or my being all? overpowered now. I think you can handle it. I like the t-shirt. I like that you got the coffee. I got my coffee too. Yeah. You know, I'm sporting my Empire State. I went to the Empire State building with the kids on a field trip. I got myself a coffee mug. See that? Hey, I like it. Tell me about, let's start with Madison Malloy. How does Madison Malloy enter the world of show

business? And then let's talk a little bit about your stand-up comedianness, if you will. And then let's talk about this book. Okay, perfect. So, yeah, I originally moved to New York. because I wanted to be a Wall Street Titan. And when I got there, I realized, well, this probably really isn't for me. I didn't know about the whole corporate America thing. I just wasn't feeling it. So I decided I'm going to follow my passion and decided to start telling jokes. And I didn't realize that following your dream, although there's a lot of positives,

but there'd be a lot of negatives as well. So kind of, you know. What are the negatives? Let's start with some of the negatives. What are the negatives? The negatives are, I don't think anyone's as realistic. as they need to be of how long it's actually going to take. And having somewhat of a backup plan so you can make sure that you stay financially abundant.

Because when you start to worry about money, everything else starts to fall apart. So you've got to be realistic about it and you really got to have a game plan. That's why I tell anyone going into the arts or going into anything is have a game plan and always have a source of income coming in. because once you lose that, everything else can go down, your confidence, which you absolutely need, and just your overall mindset. And that was something that happened to me in comedy, although I was having the time of my life, making people laugh. There were so many struggles that were going on behind the scene, which ultimately then led to the creation of my book because I was able to

get out of my own way and finally start being in the right mindset to bring in amazing opportunities. Well, okay, it makes sense to me. I am a Wall Streeter. I happen to like it. But some people don't like it. And I get that. I'm certainly not a politician, as evidenced by my ill-fated career. But you like what you do. You are in the soup of these things. And so even though you've had these trials and tribulations, the quest, the goal, the journey, the destination is way more important. Isn't that the right messaging or no? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I think it's you have to be passionate about what you do. You have to love it and you have to kind of really know that you're on the right path. For me, it's all about inspiring people to live their best lives. So that is through my books, through TV shows I create, through my podcast. So I know I'm on the right mission because when I wake up in the morning, it's not, it's Monday. It's, oh, it's Monday. I can't wait to see what opportunities this week brings. And that was like a telltale sign that I'm definitely all. the right path. So comedians in my estimations have some darkness to them. You know, Jim Carrey's a little dark, Robin Williams, a little dark. Bill Maher, my buddy, oh, dark, dark, too much pot smoking, dark, dark, dark. But not you. You're always like bright and sunny. So I'm trying to figure that out. How did you become a bright and sunny comedian in a world of like semi-dark comedians? Yeah, I think it's, comedians typically get that reputation. And in order to get through pain,

laughter is a great way to do it. So it's kind of like a natural medicine. But now I grew up in a great household and I think my pain was self-inflicted. So yes, I did have pain and it was great to be on stage to get that out. But a lot of it was just not having confidence, low self-worth, not thinking I was good enough, insecurities for whatever reasons there were. So there was some darkness in times that I fell into my own kind of mental health issues with anxiety and depression. But I wouldn't say I was more of an optimistic person, and I always tried to be that way. I think it's just the way I was. Okay.

But you were at Nomura. Yeah. Not doing so well, according to the book. Well, doing well, but I mean, you were miserable. I mean, you were doing well. I mean, you're great at what you do, of course. But you know what I mean? You were like mentally like, I got to get the hell out of here.

And so you knew at that point you had to start quote unquote lightning up. So tell us about that. Yeah. So, no, Nomura was a great experience. and I still keep in touch with a lot of people I worked with there, and that was amazing. But, you know, I was a fixed income bond trader. And I was right, I started right as the financial crash was kind of starting to bubble up and was there when it happened. So I was very knowledgeable on what went down in the last financial crisis because I was, quote unquote, part of it. And so that was a dark side.

I witnessed basically when I stepped in, I witnessed the glitz and the glamour of Wall Street and all the fun that came with it. And then I started witnessing the dark sides of people that were totally over leveraged and started losing houses, taking their kids out of school. And it was kind of a wake-up call that this was not, I wasn't happy and that anything can be taken from you at any moment. And so it's important to do what you love and be passionate about what you do and have integrity because that can't be taken away from you. I think it's very well said. So, so you got, You got hard truths in this book, Madison, cold hard truths. Yeah.

So let's go over them. Give me some cold hard truths for my podcast listeners. Well, I talk about fear in one of the chapters, and I think that's a big thing that holds us back. I mean, you and I've had the conversation. I think I even referenced you a little bit in the book without mentioning your name of the fear of what other people think. And so many people are held back by that fear.

And some people will say, well, I don't really care, but they do because they're not taking the chances and the risk. I remember you and I had a conversation where you were saying, you know, everybody has that little fear of what people think. But then when your name is absolutely dragged through the mud, it's the best way to get through the fear. So you just kind of have to step into it and have faith and realize that nobody really thinks that much about any of us at all. They're worried about themselves. I think that's one of the most revelatory things that I have come across in my life. If I could offer any advice to a younger person. When we're young, we think other people are thinking about us. When we get to our

careers and we get so ambitious, we're like, okay, what is someone going to think of my career? If I'm at a cocktail party and I talk to them. And then, oh, my God, my name has just been plastered in lights very negatively. Or if you're like me, I've been parodyed on Saturday night live. Okay, think about that. Okay. And so then you say to yourself, is that a disaster or not? And by the way, I'm a very honest person, as you know. And so I went through the cycles of, you know, of all of those things and all of those beliefs that it is a disaster, but it really isn't a disaster. And so that's the number one resonating message I would say to young people. What other people think about you is none of your business, the sooner you learn that, the more rewarding,

the more fun your life will be. You know, I mean, they write about me all the time. I think they write a negative article about me every three or four weeks. I'm like, oh, okay, you know, not a big deal like it used to be. What say you to all that? You agree with me? I absolutely agree with you. I think it's absolutely, it's perfectly said because the truth of the matter is, no matter what you do, what you say, how you feel, somebody's not going to like you. So just being confident. And obviously, like you and I are older now. So it's easier when you're talking to somebody who's in their early 20s where they're still kind of developing and peer pressure is a big thing and what their peers think is a big thing. You try to get through to them

that none of this really matters and that you should only focus on what you can control. And what you can't control is other people's opinions. Unless you're, of course, you're a straight up asshole, then that's a different story. But if you're just thinking of doing your thing and having a good time and doing what's best for you and not hurting anyone, then who gives a shit what they think? And the truth in the matter is, you know this. The more successful you become, the more people that are going to hate you for no apparent reason. So would you rather be really well liked and just, you know, behind a computer desk where nobody knows you and not making an impact because you're afraid of what people think, or would you rather not be so well

liked by people that don't know you, but have an amazing life that's creating an impact? Well, I would choose the knowing, you know, having an impact and just letting go of what people think. Talk about conquering fear. And some of it is our internal feeling. Some of it is from our upbringing. Some of it is from our financial situation. Take us through the process of creating the freedom that you describe in the book and overcoming fear. So I think obviously what fear is is it is the anxiety of the unknown, right? We're fearful of things that we don't know if it's going to happen or not. That's what we're fearful of. Because if it actually happened, we would know exactly how we would react to it, how it would go. We wouldn't be so fearful of it. So most of our fears

are not necessarily fears of like heights or driving fast on the highway or any of those. It's irrational fears. And those are the fears that hold us back. And one of the fears that are the we just talked about was what people think about you. What would happen if you ran out of money? What would happen if your business failed? These are all irrational fears because they haven't happened yet. And all they're doing is holding you back. So I always say like a good way to let go of the fear is to step into faith and have faith that it's going to work out. So instead of when you go, oh, am I going to have enough money? Well, that's a low vibrational mindset that's going to keep you broke. You know, you should just say, I am always going to have enough money and it always works out in my favor. And then

business is going to work out and you're going to start seeing more opportunities and letting go of that fear. So whenever I get fearful about stuff because we all do, you just got to step into faith and switch the thought process and the words because your words have so much power. Say, what if it all worked out? What if I had more money than I ever knew it to do with? And it really makes a huge difference. I mean, I'm proof of it. I literally lived paycheck to paycheck for years and years and years and I struggled and I struggled and I have this resting rich face. So nobody thought I was struggling. So it's hard when nobody can have compassion for you. But my mindset and my language sucked ass. It was always worrying about money, not thinking there'd

be enough money, thinking I would fail at something. And when those things switched, everything switched. See, it's interesting. There was one of my old bosses now in his 80s, he had this great plaque on his desk. Unfortunately, I should have gotten a copy of it. I can only paraphrase it, but like, do the things in life that you want to do with the assumption that you're not going to fail. So meaning what holds a lot of people back is, okay, I want to be a movie store, I want to be a this or I want to be a that, but I'm afraid to do it because I'm afraid of the self-consciousness of failing. And if you just let yourself go, things start happening. You know, Les Moonvez, I mean, he's had a rough time now, but less MoonVez,

was an actor. It worked out okay for him, but not great, but he went on to become an unbelievable television executive. And obviously, he had his issues, so they canceled them. But my point being is, if you just put yourself into the flow, good things start to happen, you know, one way or another. I can't tell you when I left law school and joined Goldman Sachs that I thought my career would have unfolded the way it did. Some of it has been great. Madison. Some of it has been shitty. I mean, it's been a combination of things, but it's truly been wonderful. I've been very blessed to have this eclectic experience. Had I not had the guts to push myself, I probably wouldn't be able to have done so many different things, you know, whether it's television, jumping out of

helicopters, or, you know, visiting people in Iraq during the war, or doing conferences, building a hedge fund business and so forth. You talk about chilling out. Okay, so, you know, I always use Mel Brooks's line that relax. None of us are getting out if you're alive. And so But why is it worth worrying? Like, why do people worry and why is it worth worrying? You know, I'm not saying that I don't worry, but I always try to put it into the category. There's really nothing I can do about it anyway. So let me just do the best I can, given the facts and circumstances, you know. Yeah. And worry is a big thing. And a lot of people now, especially in our economy, are worried about things. But I always say, like, if you're really, really worried, make a list of the

things you can control and the things you can't control. And then fix the things you can control. and forget about the things you can't because you're just going to put yourself in a miserable situation and you're, you know, as Bob Proctor said, like attracts like. So the thoughts that you're putting out there, you're just going to attract more that you need to worry about. One of the greatest things I always tell people to is if you're worried about what people think or you're fearful of something is literally close your eyes and picture yourself on your deathbed and you have like five minutes left to live. What are all the regrets that you have? And really think about those. And then write them down because it's going to be the stuff that you worry about or you were fearful about or that you didn't take that chance because of those two things. Those are the things you absolutely need to be doing. Because one day when it's over, because it's going to end for all of us, you don't want to live a life of regrets. You don't want to be on a deathbed saying, I wish I had done this. I wish I didn't worry so much. I wish I didn't have so much fear. You want to be on your deathbed saying, this was a great run. I'm ready for the next event.

So talk about this great run, Madison. What are we doing now? Tell me about the life of Madison Malloy and what are we doing right now. What's getting you up and excited in the morning? Yeah, so I'm doing a lot of different stuff, creating reality shows, as you know. I'm working on actually a fictional book series that's going to be coming out later this summer. I'm working on my next self-help book that I'm hoping to release at the end of the year or the beginning of 2024, which is one of the chapters in my book. I won't give it away, but it's a whole book on one of the topics that really. resonated with a lot of people. I'm also working in kind of self-help and development now from taking my own expertise and helping people live their best lives in their abundance, you know, investing in different companies. So life is good. I always tell people never pick one job title and have that job and say, I am this. You can do everything. As you know, you run a company,

but you're on TV. You are constantly, you know, diving into the blockchain area. you are one of those people, if it's opportunity and it makes money and it makes you happy, you can do it. You can do everything that you want to do. So that's for me when people come at me and they say, hey, here's an opportunity. I don't say, well, I only do X, Y, and Z because I don't want to box myself in. If it's a great opportunity, well, yep, I'm going to add it to the list because you can do anything you want. I think it's so, I think it's so well said. And I think if we don't break out of like the boxes that we sometimes self-impose, it's, you know, it's doing ourselves a disservice. So talk about Botox for a second. Did you know I love Botox? I just got my Botox. So thank

God I did. I let it all more. Let me see. Can you mean? Let me see any patient kicked in yet. All right. So you got a little wiggle going on. I let it all wear off, all of it. I'm like totally comfortable with the whole Botox. I mean, people send to me, oh my God, your your forehead is like a sheet of glass. I paid a lot for this for it. Why is that a bad thing to use Botox? Is it a bad thing? I don't think so. No. Well, for guys, it makes you feel younger. I mean, you look, I mean, you don't look as tired when you use it. it? What's the big deal? Yeah, I don't think there's a big deal at all. So for men, they're calling it Brotox. I'm sure you've heard about that. So instead of Botox, they call it Brotox. But no,

I think, I think it's if you want to do something that's going to make yourself feel better, so you have the confidence to accomplish your goals, then that's what you do. There's women I know who do not do Botox, but they are extremely confident. So I applaud them as well. But if you want to do Botox because it makes you feel better, it look better, then why not? And somebody He also said that it can actually improve your mood because if you get your 11s in the middle of your eyes, Botox, you can't frown as much. And there's like a subconscious thing when you're looking at yourself and you're like, have an angry face. There's also, you know, Paulina Poroscova just wrote a book called, I think, Unfiltered or Filter Free or something like that. It's a great book. I'm going to

try to get her on my podcast. She's 57. She looks great. Beautiful woman. No Botox. All natural. So she's gone in the opposite direction. And again, I have no judgment there either. I mean, God bless. I just, I just decided that I'm totally okay pinning my face back the way Joan Rivers once did. And see, you're laughing about it because it's just so brutally honest. No, I like it. What makes good comedy? Doesn't honesty make good comedy? Honesty and vulnerability. Like, most men would not go on and say, hey, I've got a bunch of Botox in my face. They wouldn't. They would get just enough to minimize it and be like, no, I'm all natural. What are you talking about? You know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. My wife likes to tease me. She didn't realize that eight or nine years ago I was dyeing my hair, okay? And I'm like, how could you not have realized that? I'm 455 years old. I mean, of course I'm dying my hair.

I'm just happy that it's still here, you know? You got a ton of hair. Yeah, that's an Italian chia pad. I got lucky with that. Yeah. Okay, so we talked about the following things last time. Okay, ready? We talked about spray tans.

Yep. Boops. Yep. Balls. Yep. Flatchelance? Okay. So where should we take things next? Or should we go back to those topics? I guess we could go back to those topics. So a lot of people getting, it's interesting when you talk about boobs, there's a whole thing about people taking all their implants out because apparently it's making people sick. But then there's a whole slew of people getting breast implants in. So it's a whole, I think it just goes back to don't worry about people think, do what's best for you. If you want to have a giant rack, well, God bless you. And I'm sure the men will say thank you as well. I'm with you. I'm with you. It doesn't matter to me about whatever people want to do.

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we're our own worst enemies. What did you mean by that? Well, we are. We criticize ourselves more than anyone would ever criticize us. Think about it. I mean, maybe not you because everybody is always criticizing you. Why do you think they go after me so hard? What do you think it is? I think they're jealous. You think that's what it is? Yeah. I think a lot of it's rooted in jealousy. Absolutely. And just so people are just, they don't like the fact that I'm just so on a bash, they want to smack me in the face a lot. Yeah, you got your, you got your full head of hair, you're a good looking guy, you're successful, you got a hot wife, you got a beautiful family. Of course, they want to be you and they can't be you. So what's the other thing they can do to make themselves feel better?

Well, they're going to bash you. Okay. All right. Well, that's said you. You see you better than my therapist. I should be hiring you instead of spending these millions of dollars on my head being shrunk by my team of therapists. You see that? No, you should.

I always thought therapy is great. I don't do therapy, but. No, I don't, I actually don't do therapy. I was just making a joke. I, I, I self-therapies by getting my ass in the gym. Yeah, exactly. So therapy is great for a lot of people, but I was, I, I like talking to people and lifting my friends up or when people need help, they reach out because I feel like the therapist, they're great, but they go to school and they're trained and they're kind of have these like box dancers, right? And these questions. And they're just talking about your past where you have somebody like me who's been through the, the trenches, I'm just going to give it to you straight. And because I'm not licensed, I don't have to have a license to lose, I can actually kick the shit out of you verbally and get you on the right track. That's why I would say, maybe it's not a therapist you need. Maybe you just need a mentor that's going to beat the shit out of you and tell you exactly what you need to hear, which is, you know, yeah, okay, here's your childhood trauma pass. All right, let's get over that. Okay, let's move past that, let's figure out where we need to heal, and let's move forward. Because the reality is every single person, and this is a hard truth, but everyone has to accept it. Your life

as it is today, the good, the bad, everything is a result of your thinking. Right. It sounds crazy, but it is 100% true. I wish I had learned that earlier. And you got to forgive your parents for whatever they did, right or wrong. Because they're human. They were probably just trying their best unless they were hitting you with a battle axe, okay? And number two, you got to forgive yourself. You've made mistakes in life. What the hell? Yeah. Who hasn't made mistakes?

And then the third thing is that so maybe you're not the cover of Forbes, Fortune, Sports Illustrated, bathing suit edition, Success Magazine, Entrepreneur. Who cares? You know, in our country, you can just have an amazing life. You don't have to have those, quote, unquote, totems. And so why not just relax and enjoy your life and enjoy the process of your life? It doesn't mean you don't try hard and swing for the fences. But, you know, don't judge yourself by the outcomes.

judge yourself by the work, by the effort. You know, that's what I tell people. Yeah. And if things don't always like go exactly your way, there was a lesson in it. So there's always, you know, as Tony Robbins said, life's happening for you. It's not happening to you. To you is a victim mentality. For you is like, okay, this is teaching me something and making me grow.

It's all up to us. I mean, if you have a shitty life, it's probably because you have shitty thinking. Well, there's no question. I mean, so forgive your parents is number one. Yeah. Number two, no victimization, no self-pity, shut the hell up, get up, get back up to work. You know what I mean? Particularly if you're born in the United States and you've got a chance at success, shut the hell up.

All right. So every one of my authors, I have five words that I present to them at the end of a podcast. And then they're supposed to react to these words. And so you could be a minute. It could be a word. It could be whatever you decide. Ready? Let's start with our five words.

You ready, Madison Malloy? Confidence. Key to success, absolutely. Key to success. Risk. Another key to success. You've got to take the risk and you've got to have the confidence. It's the ultimate belief in yourself. All right. So you've got confidence and risk go together. Yeah.

Right. Tunnel vision. Something that'll keep you stuck. Right. So don't have tunnel vision, right? No, because tunnel vision doesn't allow you to see the other opportunities that could be coming in. You set yourself just on a straight thing. And if you don't get that, that, then you're miserable and you don't see all the other opportunities that can come in. I mean, when I started, I was a comedian, I was an actress. I thought that's what I was doing. That was the only path I was taking. Had I had tunnel vision, I wouldn't have seen all the other

opportunities that were coming at me. And that's where my success came from. Wasn't from what I originally thought I'd be doing. How about rejection? God's protection. Tell me why. Well, sometimes, well, we take rejection personally because everybody wants to be validated and wants to be accepted. And when somebody tells you no, you think you take it personally. But maybe God's protecting you because something better is out there for you, a better job, a better friend, a romantic partner, whatever it is. Right. So rejection, not so bad. Feels bad in the beginning, but might be okay in the end, right? Yeah. I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I think it's actually a great thing because it's one of those like knocking on open doors to try to get them to open.

The more nose you get, the closer you are to the door that is going to open. I love rejection. judgment. Something that we do too much to ourselves. Right. Don't be so judgey wudgy of yourself, right? Don't be so hypercritical, right? Well, they also say when you're too judgmental of yourself, you're probably too judgmental of others and vice versa. Right.

You know, you don't know somebody's story. So stop judging. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I don't like judging people. Yeah. And you get judged a lot so you know how it feels. Yeah, but I, you know, listen, it's a one to five second bum out. You know, I read it, ugh, and then go on to the next thing.

Yeah. But, you know, I don't like. judging people. And I don't, you know, I had these Bloomberg reporters that were bashing me. And I said, okay, and then they wanted to come to my conference. And some people on my staff were like, oh, no, you got to, you know, they can't come to the conference. Relax. I'm a big believer in a freedom. Let them come to the conference. I don't give a shit. You know, I mean, that's the point. You got to just handle yourself with a plum, you know. What would you do differently? If there was one thing that Madison Malloy could do over, what is that? I know what it is for me.

I'll tell you mine, but you have to tell me yours. Oh, you want me to go first? Yeah, you go first. Do differently. Gosh, I want to say I would have believed in myself from the start. More self-belief. Yeah, and I would have taken more chances and more risk romantically. I had no problem taking chances and risk in my career, but when it came to romance, no.

So give me an example. So you were dating somebody that you broke up with, that you were, what happened? Yeah, I think you get hurt. And sometimes you get hurt so bad that when you feel, finally get over it, you say, why would I ever do that again? It's like eating meatloaf when you're five and you get food poisoning. You never eat meatloaf for the rest of your life, right? So it's weird. Hangovers and romance. Somehow we just keep going back for more torture. But I think I would have, you know, taken my own advice now and probably maybe have met the person by now. I don't know,

but I didn't take enough chances. Is there a guy out there that you blew off, that you regret blowing off? Not that I blew off, no. One that I regret meeting at the wrong time. It was the right person at the wrong time. I mean, luckily, we're still friends and we have a great relationship that way. But yeah, but sometimes I just realize that maybe that wasn't God's plan for me. And I'm not miserable. I'm happy. And if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, well, that's great too. And what's yours? Well, I have one main one, and that is it's Skybridge related, frankly. I should have never put the business up for sale in 2016 into 2017 because, and that just was a mistake flat out because I went to go work in the White House. I thought it was the right thing to do to put it up for sale pursuant to the ethics laws. And I missized that whole thing. I had plenty of time to unravel that.

And I didn't understand that at the time. And so that was naivete and lack of experience on my part. And it hurt the firm. I mean, just to be totally candid. I mean, the firm is fine now and it's, we're having a great year this year and so forth. But it did set the firm back unnecessarily. And that was bad decision making on my part. And it was born from expedience.

And I would say almost a level of impetuousness that I didn't have to have at the time. I needed to probably talk to more people about the process. And so sometimes I tell people, slow it down a little. You're making a big monumental decision. It's okay to get more input. And also, you know, with your health, it's something wrong with you health-wise. It's okay to go to one doctor, but it's okay to think about like what the male clinic would do. They would go to 20 doctors.

That's why the male clinic became so famous. You know, they're going to a neurologist and a pulmonary guy and a, you know, kinesis guy, whatever it is, you know, to look at the whole body before they make an opinion on you. And I think you have to do that more sometimes with big, big decision making. I didn't do that. Yeah, but you learned from it. Yeah, you learn from it. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. But you learn from it. Here's the other thing, the millstone of regret. You let it go. You never, I don't go back. I don't kick myself in the pants for that. I don't kick myself in the pants for being fired from the White House. You go forward.

I think that's the coolest thing about your book. The title of this book, Time to Lighten the F up. See, I didn't say the bomb. The F bomb. I'm tight, time to lighten the F up. A self-help guy with a side of humor from Madison Malloy, uh, looking forward to your. future and congratulations on the book. And thank you for joining us on Open Book today. Yeah, thank you so

much for having me. No, I was so excited to do this show. I'm a big fan of it. Keep up the great work. I love the guest. And I think you're doing remarkable stuff. So keep it up. Well, Madison is an extremely talented person, not just a television producer, but a stand-up comedian. I often think about stand-up comedy, how hard that is. You're standing on a stage alone and you have to figure out a way to make other people laugh. And so what do comedians generally find funny in life? Well, my observation of the best comedians is they find the truth funny. When someone like a Robin Williams or a Madison Malloy or a Sebastian Manascalco

gets on the stage and describes elements of your life that you think are absurd, you laugh and giggle. You know, it could be the line in a McDonald's or it could be people in the dressing room at marshals. It could be anything that is just slightly. absurd. You know, when the fashion maddiscalgo is talking about somebody trying something on in a Marshalls and it doesn't fit and then he just throws it into the next aisle, you've been there, you've seen it, and so it makes you laugh out loud. But what I love

about Madison is she has that comic genius, but she also has that ability to recognize that it's okay to laugh at yourself. And I think one of the gifts that you can give yourself always is a little bit of self-deprecation and a little bit of an ability to laugh at yourself. You know, I had to make a presentation in San Francisco a few weeks ago, and I started it out by saying I was six foot eight when I met Donald Trump. But that was okay because I was six foot two when I ran into Sam Bankman Free. But look at me now, ladies and gentlemen, look at me now, needing phone books to reach this microphone to talk to you on this podcast. So the point being, you got to be able to laugh at yourself, not take yourself that seriously. And Madison is right. We take

ourselves too seriously. And if we see something in social media or one of our friends says something that we don't necessarily like, we go crazy about it. But so what? It's time to chill out and relax. And I think that's something that we get in this great conversation. And listen, a message from Madison and I, live your life without regret. Thank you again today for joining us on Open Book. Okay, Ma, you're back on the air, Ma. You like joining Open Book? All right, Ma. I'm going to go to my next topic. Okay, you're ready? I had a comedian. I'm ready. I had a comedian on, okay? My guest was a comedian by the name of Madison Malloy. Right. But I think you're a comedian, Ma. You do?

I do, yeah. I think you know how to make people laugh. What is it about your personality that makes people laugh? Well, in my day I was laid back, and am I today at 86 year? I'm going to make people laugh. And why, though? What is it, Ma? What is it about your personality that makes people laugh? What do you think it is? Well, I got very confident in my old age, and I'll say something that comes out of my mouth

that makes people laugh. You don't give a shit is the answer, right? I mean, you're 86 years old. You say whatever the hell you want to anybody. The cops. Yeah. You're doing 85 miles an hour in your mazoradi. the window down, you tell the cop, you threaten the cop to give you a ticket. He can't do it. He walks

away from the car. No, I had, I made a U-turn in front of a motorcycle cop, and I used to drive a motorcycle because my brother was ghost when I was 30 years old, and I asked him who taught him how to ride. So he said, to me, what's it to you? I said, well, it's to me because the ghost taught you had a ride. I'm sure that the ghost taught you had a ride. I said, and I'm the ghost sister, so you can't give me a ticket. So he said to me, I'm going to make believe I'm writing you a ticket. but I'm not going to give you a ticket. And he left, but I had a wet when I said it. And he started to laugh.

So you really just don't care, right? I don't. No, I don't. So what happened? You just said, that's it? Doesn't matter. You say whatever hell you want, whenever you say it. Yeah, I was, like, tied down by someone, and I went along with it like an idiot.

And then I came into my own at an older age, and I have like a wit. And I just don't care. Ma, do you remember when you told you? the story about me with the bottle. Do you remember that? That still comes back to me all the time. So what happened with the bottle? Well, you wouldn't give up the bottle and people were making fun of me for not making you

give it up. I was very last of days ago. I was totally into my children and I think it was a big deal that you had a bottle at five years old. Five? You're ready to go. Four and a half. You were ready to go to Kenny five.

At least it was four and a half. Four and a half. I'm sorry. I mean, there's a big difference between four and a half. five, I mean, just so you know. Okay, but you were ready to go to kindergarten. Okay. And so I smashed the bottle outside.

It was a glass bottle, right? It was a glass bottle, and you went along with it. You were very good. You went along with it, and you never took a bottle again. You smashed it on the ground. And all the people that were making fun of me for allowing you to take the bottle, they couldn't believe how I did it.

Okay. But I... I was very relaxed as a mother. I did not care what you said. Why do you think I wanted the bottle for so long, Mom? What was that all about? I didn't want to grow up. I was like Peter Pan.

I mean, what was it? Well, you were like a mama's boy when you were a little kid. You said tell me you're going to live next door and that you were going to take care of me. And you know what? Wait a minute, though. Do I take care of your mom? I live two miles away. You make it like in Siberia.

You make it like I need a passport to get back in the town of Pat, Fort Washington. I know, but you said that you were. going to live next door. Boy, I live close enough or no. I know I'm a mama's boy, and now that you've told everybody that, but they sort of do that anyway, but. But you are, and you tell me as a little kid walking around behind me that you were going to take care of me someday, and here you are taking care of me.

Okay, but there's two miles too far away, or is that okay? I know I wouldn't be living as well. Okay, ma'am, that's fine, but is two miles too far, ma'am? Should I try to move closer, or are we okay with two miles? Well, you might live on an elderly. which will be closer someday. Okay, Ma, it's four-tenths of a mile closer. Okay.

All right, Mom. But four-tenth is four-tenths. Oh, my God. All right, well, I love you, Ma. You're good? I love you too, baby. All right. Thank you for joining Open Book.

I am Anthony Scaramucci, and that was Open Book. Thank you for listening. If you like what you hear, tell your friends, and make sure you hit follow or subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast. While you're there, please leave us a rating or review. If you want to connect with me or chat more about the discussions, it's at Scaramucci on Twitter or Instagram. You can also text me at Plus 1, 917, 909-29-996.

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