Otherworld - Episode 40: Eilish Poe Pt 3

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Eilish had just called 911 and first responders were en route to her house. She had just witnessed a very incredible series of events where she was shown a fast series of moments from her life and then was visited by 3 people she knows who passed away. One of those people was a murder victim herself and pushed Eilish up off the ground into a position where she was able to find her cell phone and call 911. This episode picks up where we left off and covers the hospital, a strange prediction Eilish makes during the investigation, and some strange things that occurred while she and her family began transitioning back to "normal life". Warning: This episode contains descriptions of violence and other things that may be difficult for certain listeners. To see photos related to this episode, click here Subscribe to Otherworld on Patreon for exclusive content and bonus interviews Check out our Merch Follow us on: Instagram, TikTok, Twitter If you have experienced something paranormal or unexplained, email us your full story at [e-mail] To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before we begin, just a quick warning, this episode contains descriptions of violence and other things that might be difficult for certain listeners. Welcome to Otherworld. I'm your host, Jack Wagner. This is part three of a series we're doing. If you haven't heard the first two parts, you should go back and start with that. What you're hearing right now is the actual body cam audio of the police officers who are rushing to Ilish's house after being dispatched by 911. I just want to say that I did not add the music into this. They're actually listening to Metallica on the way to her house, and I guess I has never realized that they listen to music in there. much traffic here. No idea what the suspect is.

Isla just having suspect drives people around or possibly un-caled. There's a ship and snap everywhere. Her vehicle with a white-hundance civic shibled up in her makes and so nobody is going to me. Isla showed me the body cam footage and the police report of her case. It's extremely hard to watch and there's no reason for anyone else to see this or even hear it. The only reason I'm mentioning it at all is to say that I've really seen it and I know how lucid she was. I think some of the details in the last episode are so shocking and extreme that it might have even distracted from the fact that Ilish experienced something amazing while she was on the ground.

She was shown a slideshow of her life on what sounded like a screen floating in the air. and then she was visited by three people she knows who are deceased, one being a murder victim that actually lifted Eilish up off the ground in order to find her cell phone. She was fully conscious and lucid when this happened. And if it weren't for the body cam, I think that she might even question it herself. But she's seen it, and so have I.

And when the police arrived, she was alert, wide awake, talking coherently. I really do not believe she passed out or died or anything like that. I think she came very close, but that was it. Because in the body cam, she is very lucid and having a full, coherent conversation with the police when they show up. The story is about so many things, and just part of it is paranormal. But what happened to Eilish when she was laying there

is really incredible to me, and it's not the only supernatural experience she had during all of this and after. We're going to get into that a little bit in this episode and later on, but for now, let's pick back up exactly where we left off. Ilish had just called 911. John had left the house,

and first responders are on the way. This is episode 40, Islish Poe part three, and you're listening to Otherworld. Fort Collins Police. Fort Collins Police. Where are you at, man? Have you listened to your own 911 call?

Yeah. It's frustrating because I've said it a few times, but this was like a new, newly developed neighborhood. The address wasn't coming up. And so like the Fort Collins guy answers and he's like, I'm going to get us transfer to Loveland. And then the Loveland lady's like, no, I'm seeing it on your end. And I'm like in the background like yelling the zip code. To be to Loveland, please. Let me talk first when they answer. 9-1-1. What is the address of the emergency? Fort Collins is a trans-tigate Tiger Cat Avenue with the stabbing. Okay. Can you hear you the address for me one more time? Okay. What happened? I'm not sure if that's going to be a valid address. I can't find it either. I thought it was your area. I got it in Fort Collins and I'm showing it's yours. You want me to drop it? Yeah, drop it. Do you see it? Yeah, I've got it.

Okay, I got it here. Thanks. Ma'am? Yep. Where is he right now? I think he left. A minute and a half into the call, finally they're like, okay, yep, got the location sending it to the police now. It took like seven and a half minutes total for the police to show up. And then after the police had showed up, it was like another like five minutes before the EMTs showed up. So like probably, I mean, 12 to 15 minutes of. Like no medical attention. So once the police arrived or like seven or so minutes later, they start like taking my clothes off,

everything they had to cut my shirt off, cut my bra off. And I'm like apologizing profusely because I was carrying my rabbit's litter box. There was bunny shit everywhere. I'm covered in it. And I'm literally saying this to the police. I've watched the body cam footage and everything. Like, I'm really sorry for the smell. I was taking out my bunny's litter box.

And they, like, don't care, of course. There were two cops initially on the scene. Several more came in. They initially, like, had surrounded the house. And then one of them, like, stood in the, stare away with a gun and pointed up, like, just in case, like, he went upstairs or anything like that. They were just looking around the house, making sure he was gone, everything, asking me questions, just trying to keep me, like, conscious.

The last thing they wanted was for me to go unconscious at that point. When you're dying, like, actually dying, not like a chronic thing, but like a very sudden thing like this, you start losing your senses. So it was like, when I was on the phone with 911, everything, I could see, I could hear, everything. I could taste. I had horrible taste in my mouth. I felt like when it was right after the police showed up,

right after my body realized, like, okay, you're actually safe. I started losing my vision. Even when my eyes were open, it was black. Like, it was starting to go black. It was like I was looking through like a folded up straw. And then I just kind of hear somebody that's probably like five, ten feet away from me, say, did you say Eilish?

And he ran to my side and it's my friend Eric who was an EMT. And obviously in that moment I'm not thinking at all that I do know. somebody that's an EMT, you know, what's the likelihood that of all the EMTs in this town's like 200,000 people? Like, what's the likelihood that it's going to be someone I know? As soon as he was like, Ilish and I just knew me that it was like, Eric, and again, I couldn't see him at all at all. It was just such a relief that somebody who I knew was there in that moment. It actually was like he only had like three more shifts until he was done with the job. Like he was moving to Florida and it just happened to be me. And it was yeah, it was really special. So they get me in

the ambulance and I've watched that footage as well. And it wasn't until I got in the ambulance and until we were almost at the hospital that I actually started feeling the feeling that might go unconscious. They were driving so fast. I remember flying through the air, like, on my gurney because of how fast they were going. They were literally, like, counting out the stab wounds on my body. In my head, I thought that I got stabbed, like, maybe, like, six or so times. And then once I got, like, to, like, 10 or 11, I truly was like, are you serious?

like are you like this is still going yeah the total number was 16 they like kept me awake they kept talking to me and i'm staying awake and i did end up staying awake um and then i get to the hospital and they just were like we're going to get you help we're going to get you help obviously i had to get like a chest tube put in that fucking hurt at the same time they were putting it putting the chest tube, this, like, sweet man came up and was like, I have to give you a COVID test. It might hurt. And I was like, I just got stabbed. And that's all I said.

And my ER doctor was, like, laughing hysterically at it. And, like, soon after that, I, like, went into surgery. I, my parents were obviously called. My roommate and her mom had been notified. They were like trying to get in the hospital, like literally like bang on the hospital doors. Nobody was allowed in. Like five in the morning I woke up and I was in so much pain when I woke up. When you go into surgery, you can't have contacts in.

And so when I woke up, I couldn't see a thing. And it was, I mean, that was scary in itself. I was alone as hospital. We didn't know like where jobs. John was we didn't know anything. And I was really, really scared. And then on top of that, yeah, I couldn't see a thing. I got to call a few numbers.

The numbers that I had them call were Megan, my roommate, my dad, and my co-worker. Because when I was in the ambulance, I was like, somebody from my job needs to know this happened to me. because I can't just not show up. I'm a teacher. I can't just, like, not show up. There's 20 kids in my class that need me there. And so at 5 in the morning, I called Amy, my coworker. And the first thing I say was, like, my lesson plans are behind the door.

Everything's printed out. And I think that really just truly speaks to being a teacher in America. Like, I'm literally waking up from, like, a semi-coma. And the first thing I think is like my lesson plans. Like that should not be what's on my mind. That was before I called my family, by the way. And I told her like, tell my principal and then to tell a few of like my really close coworkers. And, you know, they say that was like the hardest, one of the hardest days of their lives was like just having to teach that day knowing what had happened and not being able to talk about it at all.

even with my other co-workers. I think at about like nine or ten, my dad finally gets in. He had to like get on a flight and from Texas and then drive the hour up from Denver to where I was. And so I think it was like nine or ten in the morning.

My dad was there. I was just so, so grateful to see my dad. I was just like, oh my God. Like one of my family members is here and he told me that the rest were like on their way. and everything like that. Shortly after my dad came in, the police came in, they asked me, you know, the detectives,

they asked me like a hundred questions. And they have to. They're trying to like make a case or trying to understand what happened. And I know that it's their job and that they have to like show like no biases or anything. But at points it was like, are you accusing me of anything? Like it felt that way sometimes.

Just the tone and the way things were, my dad was like, my dad's one of those people that's like, he will do anything for his daughters. And so he was like, what are you trying to say? Like kept like talking over me and, you know, he was like, these are the things we have to ask. And it was just a lot. It was a lot to deal with right after a major surgery, right after almost death.

I mean, we found out that one of the stab wounds in my neck was like a centimeter from my carotid artery. So close. And I'm in like so much pain. I can't see. Like, I don't want to answer these questions. It was just frustrating. And I know that they had to do that. I know it was part of the job.

But the biggest. thing that they asked me was, where do you think he went? Where do you think he went? And I said, the first thing that came to me and what my gut told me, I said, and it's on police record and everything. I think that he went to either horse tooth rock, which is like a big rock up here, or Arthur's Rock, which is another big one out here and committed suicide. He specifically asked like, why do you think that? And I was like, well, if he was to do something like this, like this big, big thing to me, that he was also going to do it to himself.

Like he wasn't just doing this to get caught to just be like, a murderer, it was going to be a murder suicide. And I truly believe that. And it's all on record. And it even says in the police report, it's like, I found that kind of strange, blah, blah, blah. And at that point, I didn't know anything. I hadn't been told any details. This is November 5th. They came back a few hours later. And he was like, we found. his body. And it was at the base of Arthur's rock. And it's an apparent suicide.

He jumped off of Arthur's rock. And my dad was just crying. He was so relieved. I felt like weird. I didn't feel relief. I did, but I also felt like just this strange sensation in my stomach of like, I'm going to throw up. And, like, my first instinct was, like, that they were going to find it suspicious that I thought that.

And I was going to somehow be in on it or something stupid like that. But they didn't, obviously. I mean, that was just my anxiety brain talking. They were just, like, it's interesting that, like, you predicted that. Yeah, it was strange. Why did you think that? I trust my gut, thoroughly, and that's exactly what it told me. Is this like a, were these special places?

Like, have you, were they significant in any way? We had never done either of those hikes or anything like that together. He had done some with his friends. I don't know. I just knew and I knew, and I told them, that he was probably going to take his own life. What did the detectives look like when you said that to him? What were they saying?

So the first time I said that, it was just kind of like, okay, okay, got it, got it, got it. The next time they came in and they asked me, again, kind of like, why did you think this? What's your reasoning? That kind of stuff. And I basically was just like, I don't know. That's just what I think. There's not like a ton of reasoning to it. It's just what my instinct is telling me.

And my dad even caught on to it like, why are you asking her this so much? And they couldn't tell me yet until they had fully confirmed, like, that that was him. He even told me how weird it was. And I was like, yeah, I agree. It's really weird. But that's just what my gut told me. I've always had a really, really powerful intuition. Yeah.

It was strange. They were like pretty in and out of there. It was like very top secret. Like, I had an alias that I wasn't even allowed to know when I was in the hospital. The first thing that they said was like, do you know where he was leading up to the attack? And I was like, yeah, he came out of my bedroom because that's what I knew. He did. I heard the door creak open.

He was in my room. They were like, but before that, like, how did he? he get into the house? And I told them, I was like, I think he got into the house through the garage. I was like, he must have known the garage code, even though, like, we changed it. And they told me that, actually, there was a window well in the basement, and they were doing construction for the house. At some point, this window must have gotten left unlocked. They'd found that he cut the screen to the window in this window well. And then after he cut the screen, he just got fucking lucky. And it was open. And so he went from the base.

window and he crawled into the basement and in our house we had this crawl space. I know when I say crawl space, a lot of people get like a certain image, but it was honestly really big. Like the basement was really big in itself, but there's this door and it wasn't like at the bottom of the floor of the basement. It was like two feet up. I had like some snowboarding stuff in there I had just like sleeping bag, stuff like that, storage stuff. But you have to kind of like hop, push up to get in there. And, but once you were in there, it was like a pretty decent-sized room. And essentially, he had been in that crawl space for 26 hours leading up to my, to him attacking me. And to kind of like put that into some perspective when he was texting me on November 3rd,

all of that reconciliation stuff. Like I really want to get back together, things like that. He's doing that from in my basement. All of the times where he was just going on about, I'm about to move to Denver. I'm about to do this. He was in my basement. He was in my basement. and Megan had called her dad that night and said, I am hearing things and I'm afraid someone's in the house. And there was. There was somebody in the basement and she was home alone with him. It's just really eerie to know that you weren't actually alone

and that your suspicions were correct and that her intuition was correct and it is it's super eerie super messed up they knew he was down there just because like one he left his like wallet and stuff in there two they found like granola bars and water bottle type stuff he'd been using like the pillows and blankets that were already in there um to sleep of like, what if I had said, like, yeah, let's reconcile this. Let's make this work. What would have happened? Would he have just, like, left my basement? Would he have done it anyway? I'd really try not to dwell on those questions, the what ifs, but it's weird to think about, like, that he was that adamant on getting back together when he was already planning to kill me.

that when the police finally found him, one of the biggest things was that they had to find his car. So I gave them the description of his car and everything many times, like to the police on the 911 call several times at that point. And they, that car wasn't at the base of the mountain. So they were like, how did he get here? You know? And so this police officer, he recalled like somebody had reported an abandoned vehicle in their neighborhood.

And he went to check on that. And that was his car. He like had parked in this neighborhood near an enterprise and walked to the enterprise and rented a car. And so that was on, I know it wasn't on Halloween. It was either on October 30th or November 1st. Days before he did it. Days before he hadn't texted me that day. He texted me on November 3rd.

It was a few days later. So this was like he was planning it. I think so that he could like stalk me without me knowing is why he rented a car. Because I would recognize his car anywhere. Even now when I see that car, even though obviously I know he's, dead. It's still my instinct of like, I get scared. I'm like, ugh, like, I see that car because it was like a brown kiosol, like a pretty distinct car. And so I think that's why. Because he had been, like, they detected him in my neighborhood at like 6 a.m. on November 3rd. Like he watched me

leave for work. And then later at around like four o'clock, he came back. And that's when he was in my house for the rest of the time. Immediately after he had stabbed me and attacked me and everything, he went to the mountain to jump. And hikers saw him and they noted that it was strange that he didn't have a flashlight or water or anything like that. And the like final like Strav like he's here is because they found the rental car service that he used, found what rental or car he rented. That was the car that was at the base of the mountain. And then they took drones, car or like dogs, everything up there and they found him there.

So one thing that was like a big shift in my life when I was in the hospital was that my entire life up until the attack, I have been like a very naturally lucid dreamer. Not in like an exciting way, I don't think. But in some way where people are like, yes, I could make myself fly and things like that. I wish I could have done that. But it would be like, you know, those stupid dreams that we all have where you're like back in high school. and you failed this test or you're late to class or, you know, stuff like that. But I can literally talk myself out of those dreams and be like, Ilish you're a grown-ass adult.

Wake up and wake up. Things like that. I've always been able to do that. But when I was in the hospital, I stopped dreaming completely. I mean, I'm sure I still was dreaming, obviously. I don't remember my dreams anymore. Then when I was out of the hospital, the police investigation was still open, technically,

and while it was still open, until they could prove that John was acting alone, that there wasn't anybody else that knew anything, there wasn't anybody else involved. I had to live in a non-disclosed location. So I lived with my roommate's mom, and we both did. We both stayed there. In late January, early February, I decided to move back into Megan's house just to try to be there.

I loved that house. I loved being there. I love living with Megan. It was like being with a sister 24-7, and I really wanted to give it a try. And so it'd been like three months at this point, I guess. And I'm still not having any dreams. I'm not having nightmares really. Once I started being in Megan's house,

you could just feel the awful energy in the home. They'd sage it and things like that a million times. Megan's pretty spiritual. And so she could feel that energy as well. And it would be like you would go into the basement and it would just your entire chest would just tighten. It was really disturbing. I completely stayed out of the basement the entire time that I was there.

In the exact spot where everything happened, it just would go cold. It would feel horrible. And it wasn't just for me. It was for several people. I brought several people into that house and two people had no idea that that's where it had happened. And I'd be like, let's go upstairs.

Like, that's where my room was and everything. So we'd be walking up there and they'd be like, did it happen right here? They could feel it too, that the energy there was so powerful that they could feel like that's exactly where everything went down. I didn't sleep in my room a single time for the next month and a half that I lived with Megan.

I just could not be in there for longer than to change my clothes because I just felt like, John was watching me in that room. I just could not shake it. I would, like, get my clothes, pick out an outfit, and then leave and go to Megan's room down the hall. I just truly hated being in there because it was just like one of the, I think it was just because it was like one of the last places that I have a reference of him in there. Because he came out of my room when everything happened. I just like, I would touch the door handle and I would just feel like sick, nauseated

because I just could think of him touching that door handle to open this door to come down those stairs and attack me. So I would sleep in Megan's room like with her every single night for a really long time. And when I was there, I would have really. intense dreams that involved John. For a while, they were just dreams. Like, he would just be kind of staring at me from a distance, probably like 20 feet distance in the dreams.

And he was just like there. He wouldn't say anything. He didn't have an expression. It was a lot like in the moment when I was being attacked where he didn't say anything, didn't have any like facial movement. And I would just be yelling at him. Why did you do this?

Why did you hurt me? Like you're a fucking coward. You know, just yelling at him. And for a long time, I was having those dreams, probably like three or four nights a week. And at one point, I would guess that probably I'd been living there for two weeks and I started having more intense streams with him where he would like get close to me, try to touch me, and then I would like back away or like there's one specific one where we're

sitting on a bench and in the dream like it's a normal park bench where like three people could fit on and he would like try to reach out and touch my shoulder and I would. make the park bitch longer and he'd be like really far. And so I was like separating myself from him. And again, no words or anything like that. But only when I was in Megan's house, like we'd sleep at her mom's house. It wouldn't happen. I'd sleep at my parents' house. It wouldn't happen. It was only at Megan's house that I was having these dreams with John. And finally there was one night where he did speak to me. And I said something along the lines. More in a calm voice, I really, in these dreams, I cannot stress enough that I was like screaming at him. I was so pissed.

I mean, rightfully, but I finally was just like, I need to know why you did this. I can't have any closure. I'm still here. You don't have to live through this. I do. You did this to me. And he just asked a question, like, how can you not see it? I was just thinking, and like, what do you mean? See what?

And he said, like, I did this because I'm still in love with you. I'll always be in love with you. And, you know, I think that's bullshit. I just said, no, you can't love somebody you do that too. And it was one of those things where it's just like, if I can't have you, no one can. And I had a few more like that, having conversations with him of like,

I didn't want to do this, you made me do this. And things like that, which sounds exactly like something he would actually say. It doesn't sound like, you know, when you have dreams of people and they're saying weird things. Like that sounds like verbatim what he would actually say to me. And it's, it kind of like makes my eyes water up, like thinking about it, not in a crying way, just in an eerie way that I really do feel like I was able to communicate with him a little bit after he had passed. After like three of those dreams, I stopped having them completely. Sometimes still I'll get like the nightmares where it's like I'm reliving it, just the entire attack itself.

Or I'll be in my room and he'll come through my bathroom door and have a knife and things like that. It's always John. It's never anybody else. but those dreams that I had in Megan's house, I've never had any other dreams like that where I was communicating with a dead person. I mean, do you think they were dreams? I think that on some level, he's tethered there.

I think his soul is tethered to that house because just the energy is so, so off. there for one, two, like when I, like, will touch the door handle like I feel, feel his presence, things like that. I, I don't know if there were dreams. It just felt like this, it felt just like a normal conversation, but just happening while I was asleep. And I, but the thing is, like, I don't even ever remember waking up from them. I just remember. I just remember. them being over. I don't feel like I was actually dreaming. It just felt like this is over now, and then several hours later I wake up. So I don't know. Maybe they weren't dreams. Maybe they

were just like a really long distance phone call. Were they helpful? I don't know. Some of it was helpful. Like I do feel like it felt like I was hearing kind of what I already knew. because in the police reports, like the people that he'd talked to and stuff, he did say, like, that he was still in love with me, like, literally until the day of. Like, he was telling other people that as well. But I just don't find that detail interesting or not interesting. It is interesting. I don't find it helpful because, again, I just don't think that that is an

excuse if you actually love somebody, you would not ever do anything to hurt them or try to in their life. Like, that's the most drastic, unlovable thing that somebody could do. Well, obviously, he didn't love you. It's not love. No, I think in his mind it was. You wouldn't even play go fish with you in a tent. No, I know. That's not love. He doesn't love you. You knew each other three months. Right. I've said that a lot of times and my sister too, like, you can't, like the intense emotions that he was feeling in that short amount of time are not normal. Are not normal. No, I don't think he, I think he thought he was in love with me because he doesn't know like what healthy love is because he was just an abusive man all around. I don't think I found a lot of closure in that, sadly.

But even if he was here to, like, defend himself in any way, I don't think I'd find closure in anything he'd have to say because there's literally not an excuse. Like, the detective that worked on my case was like, you know, you could have, like, cheated on him with his best friend or, like, done something really horrible and you still wouldn't have deserved that. So I just truly don't think any excuse that he would have would be logical. What I don't have closure on necessarily is like the feeling of like hate and feeling hated and feeling like somebody values your life so little that they feel like they could take it.

That I don't feel like I'll ever get over. I know that's a lot, but it's true. When somebody tries to kill you, it's, they think so little of you that they feel like they can control your very existence. And that, that I don't think I'll ever get over. All right, we need to take a quick break, but we'll be right back. So while I was in the hospital, my entire family came out from Texas. And this is November 2020.

So like peak COVID. And yeah, they all got COVID. All four of them got COVID. And so my mom and my two sisters ended up going back down to Texas. And my dad was like, well, I'm planning to stay up here anyway. way, so I'm just going to hunker down somewhere and wait until you get out of the hospital and wait until you can see me. So Megan's house was obviously empty. She wasn't living there. I wasn't living there. Nobody was there. After something happens in a house like a murder or an attack,

or truly anything, after the police are done and they've, you know, cleaned up their numbers to show evidence and stuff, they don't clean it up. I didn't know that at all until this, but you have to like hire a service to come clean it up. They don't pay for it, anything like that. I don't know why I just assumed that there were these like custodial cops that would clean it up, but there aren't. So Megan's mom, I have no earthly idea how she felt okay with this, but she helped clean up. She helped clean up the blood, the bunny shit, the everything, all my belongings. And so after all of that, after it was cleaned up, my dad was like, well,

you know, it's a free place to stay. So he's a man trying to save a dollar. So he stayed in Megan's house. And- Can we just take a second to acknowledge that that's the most insane dad thing I've ever heard in my entire life on so many levels.

Are you telling me that your dad stayed in the house where you were attacked not fully cleaned up because it was a good deal? And did he have COVID? Yes. This is the most dad thing I've ever heard. He's such a dad thing. Went through COVID alone in the house where his daughter had just been almost killed. Yeah. Yep. And that's exactly what it was. He was like, well, I could pay $80 a night for an Airbnb or I could stay in this house for free. Still a good house.

A house is a house. He was like, it's got everything I need. There's a kitchen. There's. I told him, I was like, I think that is weird. I was like, that is crazy. How are you okay with this? And he was just like, I mean, all I'm doing is just laying in bed.

Like, he literally just, he stayed in. Megan's room. He did the laundry, everything. He just stayed there. He stayed in her room, watched her TV, and cooked food and ordered grub up every other day for like two weeks while he was sick with COVID. And while he was there, again, he was in Megan's house, the same place that I had lived and had all these weird dreams, but he started having really intense John-related dreams. And he told me that there were several where it was very similar to me, where he would just be, like, yelling at him and then getting no response. Nothing in his face, no sound, nothing.

Like he was just yelling at him. But he was, he eventually had a dream that he describes as like him taking charge and like casting John out of his mind. And he says that it felt like he had full control of this dream that he like, that he just basically was making him get further and further and further until he was completely gone. And when he described it, I remember him saying something about it being like a really big version of John at first. Like my dad was really small and John was like really big. And he just had to cast him away. and he just kept having to say something to make him get farther and farther and farther and farther and smaller and smaller until he was gone.

And he said after that he didn't have any more of those dreams, but he said that for like a week, John was coming to him every single night in his dreams. And at that point, like, we knew he was dead. We knew everything like that. I'd been in the hospital for five days, I think, at that point. And so a week after that, he was having these reoccurring dreams until he just was like, fuck off. Like, I refuse to let you be in my mind anymore. And I asked him about it and he didn't tell me much, but he just said that he sometimes still

has or sees John in his dreams but he's never told me about those he's only told me about the ones that happened like in Megan's house and again I just truly think that John's soul and spirit is there I can't even hardly be in that house because I just one it is probably just me reliving what happened there, but two, it just is this overwhelming feeling that he's there, that he is there. And my dad felt the same thing. That is really interesting because what he did to get rid of John sounds very similar to something that I've heard come up on the show before a couple of times. And not only that, I think it's interesting because it's like, you know,

A skeptical person listening to this could easily be like, look, she has PTSD. She's traumatized. Of course, she's scared to be in her room and she's having these nightmares. She went through this horrific thing. But your dad is having these dreams too. And he seems to be casually living in this house, like making macaroni and cheese five feet away from the pool of blood where you got attacked. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all by this stuff. He's still having the same dreams, you know.

He kept texting me. me, he kept texting me like, when is somebody going to come fix this hole where your head got bashed in? Literally all dads are like that, I think. I think that's just universal across the board. I don't know. He was like too okay with it. And that's why I thought it was strange.

I was like, are you sure you want to do this? He was like, yeah, it's fine. Like he was too okay with being there. Part of me was like, he wanted to be there so he could. kind of like feel out the situation for himself and like be as close to me as possible, even though he couldn't be around me when I was in the hospital. But yeah, no, he was having these dreams and I didn't know about them until, my gosh, like months later, until after I'd had my dreams. And we talked about it how like they were, some of them were very similar. There were a lot of

similarities that he was just like having to yell at him, that there was no expression. There were a lot of similarities. But also, Megan definitely has that empathetic energy reading sense like I do too. And she feels that in that house as well. Everybody that I've ever brought there, even like go on like a bumble date or whatever. And they wouldn't know that this thing happened to me at all, that this thing happened in this house. And some of them would say, like, by the way, I feel like your house is haunted. Like, they would say shit like that.

More than one person said that, like, my friends, it's just him. I don't feel like there's any other spirit or soul or anything there. It is just John is, like, directly tethered to that. place. And I do wonder sometimes if his soul has gotten out of there. I haven't been to Megan's house. I mean, I see Megan like every other week, but we really don't hang out there. But sometimes I wonder if like I walked in there today would the energy feel the same as it did? I think if it felt better, I think I'd be able to say like that he has left, that his spirit has left. But I wouldn't know unless I went back.

I'm fine with going back. I've told her several times, but, you know, she just wants me to be comfortable and I appreciate that. So when I was alone, that's when I had a lot of time to think and process everything that had just happened. and kind of replay everything in my head from the very beginning to leading up to that point. And that's when I started thinking about, like, the people that I'd seen during the attack when I was trying to find my phone,

especially Alyssa, and the importance of seeing her. I really don't think that I did die. It doesn't feel. like I died. It felt that I was as close as a person could get, though. And people have asked me that. I don't think it was like a second chance at life kind of thing. I think it was almost like a warning like from Melissa, like this could be you. You have to, you have this chance to get out of this situation. So I don't think, I just call it a near-death experience. And with them, I don't call them

angels. A lot of people, again, since I grew up in a really religious area in Texas, especially, like they refer to them as angels and stuff like that. I just call them ghosts or spirits. I don't know if that's what they were. I, but that's what I call them. I don't think you died, but I think you definitely got as close to it as a person could get. I think so. I think so. And something I've been thinking about during this is that it feels really weird to call this attempted murder. And I've been thinking about what to even refer to you as, like an attempted murder survivor. It just doesn't feel right. Like I feel like you actually got murdered and survived, if that makes sense. I say that too.

Because like what would be the difference if you did, like what would be the difference between what you went through and getting murdered? It would just be that you wouldn't be around to tell the story. I mean, you experienced everything besides that. And I think that's what is so unique talking to you and hearing this. Yeah. Because you don't get to hear this normally because unfortunately people, most people that have gone through what you went through don't survive and they're not around to tell the

world what they think and how they feel. or tell their version of events. Yeah, no, it did feel like I did get murdered. And that's why with, like, other people who have experienced near-death experiences, I feel like I can relate to them on some level. Like, yes, you survived a near-death experience. But then there's this whole other layer where it's, like, there were entry points where, like, he literally penetrated through my skin.

And I've had so many surgeries and had to be, like, violated in another way of, one, having my body violated by John, but then having my body violated by surgeons. And, like, yes, they were doing great work and being really helpful. But it is, in a way, violating because you don't feel human. You just feel like a patient. and that's one thing that a lot of people don't get. Another thing, like, I had to play dead while I was actually dying. I was actually dying. All in all, I think it was something like 35 to 38% of my blood was gone.

That's a lot. After like 40%, you die. And that's what did kind of scare me when I did see. the ghost is because I felt like things were slowing down. I felt like I wasn't like shaking anymore. I felt kind of at ease. And that's why some ways it does feel like an actual murder. And I call myself like a murder victim or a murder survivor.

Because yeah, attempted murder just doesn't even sound just. It doesn't sound like it. It's not enough because it was so close. A big reason, like I've said, of me not wanting to discuss this on a show or whatever is the sensationalism of it all, the shock value. I mean, people think that trauma is sexy. It's a weird thing that people here are like a little obsessed with. Another thing, and I mean, there's a million things. I get asked questions like, why didn't you have pepper spray?

Do you have a dog? Do you have a bat by your bed? Things like that. Or do you do these things now? Like, I did have pepper spray at my bed. my roommate has a pit bull. He was with her at work at the office. She works in real estate.

Like, yeah, those things maybe could have helped me. Asking of them now is also strange because it's just making the assumption that, like, oh, this could happen again. This might happen again. And then also, like, what are you going to do better next time, almost is what it feels like, which is weird. Yeah, it's framing it up like. this is something that happened because you didn't protect yourself enough. You should have known. Well, this is what I would do.

Oh, yeah. Like, they would have done it better. Oh, my God. Right. Well, I would have just stopped. Stop it right there. You don't know what you just would have done because you have never been in a situation. And hopefully, never will.

I would literally never wish this on anybody. to be in that type of life or death situation with somebody that you know, especially, which again is statistically way more likely. And people, you know, all my friends, all my family say don't read the comments, don't read the comments. Of course I'm going to read them. Like, I'm not a celebrity. There's not that much out there on me comparatively. So of course I'm going to read pretty much everything.

there's a whole Reddit thing and some of them are just so inappropriate that I just can't even imagine saying to somebody. Yeah, and I just want to say, I can imagine why you wouldn't want to talk about this because even while we were doing the interview, I was looking up articles, and the way they cover this is wild.

I don't know if I didn't realize it until hearing your perspective, but it's really weird how the news covers crime. I hate it. I'm looking at a picture right now in an article about you, and the photo they use is a cartoonish stock image of a Michael Myers-type Halloween guy holding a butcher knife. It's in an article about you.

I haven't seen that one. It's talked about as if, like, there's not a person that it happened to, like... On the other side of it. Yes. Yes. It's covered like it's entertainment. or as if it's something that happened on TV or is fun. It's just so weird. Exactly.

I went back to work on February 22nd, and then I got a text from the detective saying that they were going to run a news story about what happened to me. And I was like, why? Like, it had been over four months, almost five, I think, at that point. And I was just like, what's the point? I don't get it. what I didn't know was that my case had officially closed. And when a case closes, all you have to do

to obtain the records of any case, which is the same way that probably any of your favorite, like true crime YouTubers or whatever, probably how they access super detailed information, if it's not on the internet, they just have to pay a fee to get all the pictures, all the videos, et cetera, et cetera. It actually gives me a lot of anxiety because they're like, I mean, you could not ask for a more vulnerable state. I mean, I've seen it. You have not even seen close to all of them.

I mean, I'm talking like full frontal because most of the saboons are to my chest. Like I have one right here on my like heart. And that's out there. And that's why I wouldn't share those pictures with you because I was like, oh, the videos, they blur them out, the photos they don't blur them out. And then also some of those photos, like, I legitimately looked at. And so it freaks me out that they might just have them. I don't know if they do, but it does freak me out.

So I got the text from the detective saying that a news report was going to come out. I hadn't really talked to that many people at that point about what really really. happened. When people imagine what happened to me and they know that I got stabbed 16 times by my ex-boyfriend, people assume that we were dating at the time, not true. One thing I hear really regularly is that we got into like a fight in the kitchen or something, that it was just like a heat of the moment type thing, not that it was premeditated, anything at all. Up until that point, it hadn't been released that he had stalked me for how I don't know how long that he had been in my basement for 26 hours that he was in my crawl space not that many people in my life knew that

for a lot of people that is the scarier detail than she got stabbed is that he was in my house for 26 hours I did not want the story to come out um I spoke with him just that I didn't like appreciate that happening, that they were doing it without my permission and that it was like an invasion of privacy and things like that. I wouldn't call it an interview. I thought that after talking with him

that he would kind of loosen up on some of the details. That was not the case. And there's a lot of details in that article that make it sense. sound like I was interviewed. It's just ridiculous. I did not get interviewed. And it's like he did talk to me, I guess technically, but didn't like interview me. There is a level of ethics that he just crossed. And he was just the first of many. I mean, truly, there are, there are articles out there that refer to me in the past tense, like as if I were dead. Yeah. I'm.

Seeing one right here on Medium, I assume this person didn't talk to you. I read that one. And they refer to me in past tense. Like, that sucks. Yeah. It's like she was an elementary school teacher. Like, it's so, like, minimizing to me as a person and just dehumanizing to the fact where they don't even use me in present tense.

It's like I actually died. Yeah. That pisses me off. And somebody used that exact article. This like crime, like true crime TikTok page, they used that like almost word for word. And so I knew exactly which one it was. Same thing. Referred to me in like past tense.

They were like taking images from my Facebook. Some of these images were like so old, like five years old. I was like, oh my God, that picture was taking when I was in college. they did this completely without my permission. I don't even have a TikTok. Like, my little sister sent it to me. And by the time, like, she'd seen it, it had already had over 100,000 likes, not views, likes.

Probably, like, triple that amount in views. And I didn't even, like, dare look at the comments. But I was, like, I put it out on, like, all my social media. I was like, go to this. report it, comment, get them to take this down. And they did. But it's just like, that shouldn't be a thing. Like, they shouldn't just be able to just talk about me without my permission, as if I'm not alive, one, in past tense, two, without my permission completely. I wouldn't have allowed it. Yeah, and it's funny you say that medium article that refers to you like you're dead. It's like,

I don't know, when you're kind of like treating stories in that way, it's like, sort of like what's the difference to them they probably would rather it would probably make a better story for them if you were but i know and it i've thought that several times too like one of the like cool things about this is that i didn't die like that i'm here to tell the story and stuff like that and so it's really hard to see when articles do that or any time they give him any sort of like, and we can get into it next time about like what specifically he was searching. I have his entire like search history on my phone because the police sent it to me. I just have like an email file of it. They were like almost giving him some like civility in it.

Like they were making it seem like he was a heartbroken ex-boyfriend. Actually one of them specifically does that. I'll send it to you. There's a video where they're like heartbroken ex-boyfriend. I'm like, how many of us go through heartbreak? Every single person that's ever been in a relationship and been broken up with or breaks up, like there's heartbreak. Everybody feels that way. That's not an excuse. That's not an excuse. It's not an excuse that like we dated during like peak pandemic either. Like that's still messed up no matter what the circumstances are. Like nothing should have led up to that. And like that same video, they said like he was waiting in the basement ready to pounce.

I was like, ew. Why would you word it like this? I'm a person. And that same dude that did that article, he made it sound like he interviewed me because it was like, Po says that she's excited to get back to work. And I just talked with Ilish. And I was like, the reason I talked to him is not for an interview. I was like telling him off.

They like literally were like pulling quotes from my Facebook. Like fully like so excited to be my job. So lucky to be here. Like they were literally like pulling from my Facebook and saying it as if I did an interview with though. I didn't. This like little indie podcast that was called from what the fuck or something like that. That's what it's called. They like covered my story and my, they didn't respond to me, but they responded to my dad who like sent this like really like heartfelt like you are re-traumatizing my daughter. You are having no respect for

her boundaries and for her existence. You're telling like this story. like part of it was like some of the stuff that he'd searched was like why COVID relationships don't work out something like that on fucking Reddit and she was just like oh that's so sad are you kidding you're giving him like any sympathy no like they don't think i'm ever going to hear it that's the problem but i do because i'm not a famous person so you google me there's only like 10 things that come up, I've probably seen all of them. I'm not like a famous person who's got like 8,000 articles like when you search my name. I'm not a famous person. I'm not like significant to people outside of like my bubble, like my space. Like people don't know me. I'm not like a celebrity.

It's not like a big serial killer case or something like that like fucking Jeffrey Dahmer. They just can do what they want because the laws are super loose around like victims' rights. And they will continue to do what they want. Like, even though I've declined that story with Lifetime, like several times now, they could still run it. They just wouldn't do it with me. Because once it is in the public domain, which it is, as soon as the case closes, you just have to pay a fine to get the records and everything.

And that's it. You have it. You have full access to it. They don't need my permission to talk about it, just like they didn't need my permission to talk about me on the news or anything. There's no, like I would have more rights if I had died. Like actually, my family would have more rights if I were dead than I do as an alive person. Yeah. Wow. Next time I'll talk to you about, like, more about being in the crawl space, the significance of, like, what he was watching in there.

Yeah. It is really strange. Like, the stuff about, like, him moving to Denver, like, he actually was going to look at an apartment. Like, he had booked an apartment, like, session the next day. Like, I still don't know if it was, like, depending on how this text goes, I mean, a killer or not. I have no idea. I'm not ever going to know.

There's not a lot of closure in that sense. But, like, there are some weird, really weird details like that. You don't forget that. And then I also... Let me write it down. When do you loop back to Spain? Does that... I was going to ask you that.

Another good question. We got to talk about all this next time we're actually recording. This is... Oh, my God. I mean, I'm technically still recording on Zoom, so, but I'll let you go get dinner. This is, have fun. Thank you for talking to me, and we'll just figure out another day to do finish up. Perfect.

Sounds good. See you later. Thank you again. Thank you to CO2. Okay, I will. Yeah, he left a long time ago because he, uh... I figured he left. I figured...

I think he's asleep. Okay. Well, thank you. Once again, thank you to Eilish for telling her story. We're going to be back next week with Part 4, but also I believe I'm going to have Eilis join me on the Patreon this week for a bonus episode to chat about what it's like having all of this come out finally, to talk to her about some things that didn't make it into the series,

and go deeper into some things that did. If you want to hear that, you can go to patreon.com slash Otherworld to sign up. This has been Eilish Poe part three, and you've been listening to Otherworld. Otherworld is executive produced and hosted by myself Jack Wagner. Our theme song is by Coberman. The soundtrack of this episode is by

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