Otherworld - Episode 8: My Brother's Keeper

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

When Jon was growing up, his older brother Andy was his best friend. He was known to go around town with him like a sidekick. One night they were driving to the movies when they were hit by a drunk driver. Jon joins us on this episode to talk about what happened after he woke up in the hospital. Please subscribe and help spread the word about Otherworld by telling your friends and leaving us a good review! Remember that the more people that know about Otherworld, the more stories you’ll get to hear. To see photos related to this episode, click here Subscribe to Otherworld on Patreon for exclusive content and bonus interviews Check out our Merch Follow us on: Instagram, TikTok, Twitter  If you have experienced something paranormal or unexplained, email us your full story at [e-mail] Jon wrote this piece about his brother and I wanted to include it. If you want to read it, you can find it here. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Otherworld. I'm your host, Jack Wagner. I'm really excited about this episode. It was one of the first stories I really wanted to do for this show when I began first coming up with the idea for Otherworld. So I've been thinking about it for a long time and trying to get the storyteller to talk about it for a long time. This episode is a really important one to me because I think it's going to touch on some themes that will serve as a big step forward for certain people. opening their mind to these topics, or at least providing a good framework for people to how to look at the paranormal and to interpret these stories. Everyone's had good or bad times in their life, but generally speaking, most people are fortunate enough to never have to go through a real horrible tragedy. They don't have to experience that ever. I mean, the type of thing

that's so bad or hard that your friends can't even give you advice about it. They can't even pretend to understand how you feel. The type of thing that they don't make books about how to get through, that type of bad. Most people just don't have to go through something like that. Thankfully, they never have anything like that happened to them. But anyone who has gone through something like that knows how it changes you. It changes how you look at everything. And it makes you realize how fragile life is and how it can all really.

really fall apart in an instant and take you to a place that there's no fully going back from. When you go through that, it's not that it makes it easier to believe in the paranormal. I think it's just that it makes you realize how little we all know and how lots of us just walk around as if we know everything. And when you go through something like that, it kind of changes the way you look at people And you start to recognize that type of person and how foolish that type of person really is, the person that thinks they know everything. Because you really don't.

You really don't. Even if you are just talking about what's going to happen to you next. What I'm trying to say is everyone's reality and lived experience is very different. You never know what somebody else has gone through or how little you've gone through yet yourself. This story is from a person who's gone through a lot. I want to thank him for telling me this story because I know it's something that's very difficult to talk about. I think you guys are going to really like this story.

It's not a scary one, but it's a very powerful one, and I'm very grateful to have it. This episode is called My Brother's Keeper. It's episode eight, and you're listening to Otherworld. Yes, it is. You so warm? Yeah, let us know when you're ready. Okay, okay.

I feel for the past impression. You just tell me Samoa in the Pacific Islands. It would be superstitious. This is a story about... I'm John, and this happened when I was 13. I had older brother, my older brother, Andy, like, he was someone that I looked up to my whole life, and he was really cool.

Like, we would always do things together. And he was 18, and I was 13. And so there was, like, a five-year difference. But growing up, you know, as a young kid, I always thought he was, you know, super cool, you know, and even from the time I was a real little kid, he kind of never got annoyed with me. Like, he always kind of included me under his wing. Like, he would bring me on dates, like first dates that he was going on with girls and, you know, telling them that my mom, like, made him take me. But we had worked out a code. and so if he didn't like the date or wasn't going well,

like I would cause, you know, trouble for him to be like, oh, you know, I have to take him home, I'm sorry. But he's also the one that kind of just really got me into music, you know, growing up with, you know, an older brother like that, you know, was great. We would do kind of like weekly movie nights, especially like once, you know, we got older and he got in high school in his senior year. You know, he was really busy. So we didn't hang out as much, but you made sure that, you know,

once a week, you know, we would, you know, go do something together. And so it was often movies. This happened back I was 13, so 97, me and him were on our way to a movie. And we got into a car accident hit by a drunk driver. And then, you know, next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. I remember a lot of confusion, not knowing where I was. it was kind of like, you know, waking up in that fight or flight mode. From what I was told, the first time I woke up, they had to sedate me right away just because,

you know, I was panicking. And then, you know, next time it was just kind of, you know, waking up, but just really groggy, confused. And this was, like, the first time I woke up was about, like, two or three days after the accident. You know, in that day, like, I have little kind of, like, bursts of memory. Like I just, you know, remember kind of, you know, seeing people I didn't know come in, people coming in and talking to me. But just, you know, my memory of them talking to me is kind of like the Charlie Brown, like, teachers where it's just kind of, you know, sounds like a, you know, trombone where I see him talking, but cannot understand anything they're saying. I feel worn out.

Like, I'm confused. I'm hurt. like I'm just going to close my eyes, you know, and then, you know, when I wake up, like, it'll be completely different. Like, you know, this is just a dream. Like, you know, let me sleep and, you know, wake up again and everything will be fine type thinking. I knew I was injured, you know, I felt pain. I was, you know, laying down. I wasn't, like, propped up, so it wasn't, like, looked down and see.

So I had pain in my leg. I didn't think that it was gone because I could still feel, you know, it felt, you know, I had a count. I had a cast on my other leg, but, you know, they felt pretty similar, like, in terms of pain level. To me, until they said something, I didn't realize it. You know, and then I think it was like the doctor that was kind of, you know, was explaining kind of my injuries and how serious they were and having to amputate. And, you know, that was, I think, when it kind of really started kind of sinking in, like, wait, what? and then finding out that, oh, what I'm feeling, like, that's just, you know, that's what's called phantom pain. Like, you know, even though it feels like the legs there, like it's not.

It's just, you know, my brain, you know, playing tricks and, you know, the nerve's not knowing how to handle it and kind of sending different signals to the brain. You know, when I did, you know, realize I didn't find out, it was, that was super overwhelming. And that's probably one of the first times that, you know, I kind of really, just freaked out and just couldn't handle things and they had to sit at me because, you know, heart rate was going up and, you know, I was just kind of panicking. You know, as a kid, you know, I played, you know, soccer on the travel soccer teams and, you know, it was pretty active. So, you know, finding out that, you know, I lost my leg,

it was just like, well, what's going to happen now? Like, I can't do what I used to do? So, yeah, that was an adjustment. You know, this isn't a dream. Like, this is real. you know, this is something that's actually happening. So when I woke up that first night, like, I knew it was kind of, you know, more of night because things were kind of dark, the lights were lower, but it was a lot quieter, which was nice. You know, things, you know, were a little better to allow me to just kind of, you know, come to terms and think about, like, everything going on. And when I was doing that, I looked over and saw Andy sitting next to me.

and, you know, that made me feel even more at ease, knowing that he was there and, you know, time thinking that, oh, everything's going to be okay. Like, Andy's here. You know, he's, you know, with him around, like, I'm definitely going to, you know, get through this all. You know, he's always been the person who I looked up to, so, you know, he'll help me through all this. You know, this is just, you know, one hump in life to get over. And so, you know, I saw him there and turned on, looked at him and, you know, he looked at me and, you know, he was just like, you know, I know you're scared, but, you know, everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be all right.

And, you know, I kind of repeated that to myself. And, you know, we just kind of, I don't remember fully everything we talked about. But, you know, I know it was just kind of like general chit-chat, just kind of calming and, you know, you know, him sitting down, you know, sitting there and, you know, t-shirt and shorts. And it was the first time I really felt at ease. And the first time I really thought to myself, well, maybe things are kind of going to be okay. The next day, like my parents were in the hospital visiting, you know, Andy was probably at school, you know, because my sister wasn't around, you know, my youngest sister.

So I thought, oh, they're probably at school. And so it was just a lot of kind of, you know, general talk with my parents. It was harder with my mom around because, you know, my mom was kind of, you know, crying and, you know, bringing out. And so that was just kind of giving me anxiety too. So I just remember just wanting more to kind of be by myself. There was just that little, like, bitter thought, like, I am the one that's going through this. like, why are you taking this so hard, like, with my mom's kind of reaction to everything? And so I remember, like, just wanting to be more kind of alone.

And they were probably there for most of the days. It was probably around dinner time that they left. And then again, that night when I woke up, middle night, Andy was there. And, you know, he was wearing the same outfit. But again, it was the same kind of chat that, you know, him telling me, you know, everything's going to be fine, like, everything's going to be okay. You know, you'll get through this. Like, you know, you're strong.

I remember, you know, asking him, you know, is he okay? You know, what exactly happened in the accident? You know, how did he kind of make it out, you know? And him just giving general, like just real general answers, you know, not really answering the question. you know, asking him, like, how he's doing, you know, him saying that, you know, he's just more concerned with how I'm doing. I think I might have asked him, like, you know, where he was that day, you know, why he, you know, hadn't come in, you know, to visit later, why he's only been coming in at night to visit.

Yeah, the questions were never answered. It was just the kind of his answers were dancing around and kind of coming back to him talking about, just wanting. to make sure I'm okay. After, you know, we talked a bit, you know, just kind of laying there, you know, and like comfortable silence and, you know, falling asleep, you know, waking up that next day. Later, it was probably around lunchtime that my parents came in again and asking them, like, oh, why hasn't Andy been visiting with you? Like, and when I first asked that, like, they just kind of looked at each other, but didn't say anything.

And I was just like, well, you know, why? Why has he been coming at night? Like, you know, why can't you all come in and visit together instead of separately? And, you know, that's when my dad kind of, you know, was just like, wait, what did you say? Like, what are you talking about? You know, and I explained about Andy coming at night, you know, and talking to me. And I wish, like, he could come during, you know, the day with my parents. And that's when, you know, my mom kind of brings.

broke down. And that's when, you know, my dad had said, like, you know, no, like, that's not possible. Like, Andy died in the accident. Like, that's why he hasn't been here. And, you know, that's when things just, to me and my mind got just so super confusing. It's just like, well, no, like, that's not true. Like, he's been here visiting. Like, we've talked.

And I just kind of, you know, broke down. like I was kind of panicking. Like that was the second time that I really had to be sedated. You know, just because it was just way too much and so overwhelming. And so that's, you know, the next time I really remember is kind of the day after that. You know, my dad, you know, it was just my dad visiting. My mom wasn't there. And, you know, he had talked to me and, you know, explain more about what happened and showed me.

newspaper, you know, talking about how, like, Andy had passed away, it just wasn't kind of clicking. Like, I, you know, saw that and thought, okay. But then it was just like, but no, he was visiting me. And so it was just like, you know, part of me accepted it, but then part of me didn't. Because it's just like I know what I experienced, and I know that I talked to him, but, you know, realizing that,

well, the things that we talked about and the things that he had said and that mantra that he would always tell me, like, you know, that kind of helped me go on and thinking, like, well, I got this second chance. Like, I need to kind of push through what's happening. You know, I need to get through this, you know, so I can live for myself, but also make Andy proud. Because that's what he would want me to do. Like, he wouldn't want me just to, you know, sit and dwell and just, you know, sit and dwell and just, you know, being happy about life because that's what you pretty much say like everything's going to be fine like everything's going to be okay like you can do this so just remembering that is kind of what helps set the pace for kind of like moving forward um and kind of getting through it all you know after that I was just a lot of um I was probably in a hospital total of like two months two and a half months but it was just a lot of kind of, you know, healing and just kind of, you know, mentally moving forward. And then, you know, there's a lot of kind of physical therapy. And, you know, that's when the mantra really kind of came back with Andy's words about kind of when doing physical therapy.

You know, everything's going to be fine, you know, just kind of keep going. Nowadays, like, there's so much more visibility with, you know, people who were disabled or amputees. Whereas, you know, back then, like, you know, for the longest time, I didn't know anyone else that was like me, you know, missing a limb. Like, so it was definitely like hard because I didn't have anyone that I could be like, oh, you know, they know how I'm feeling. You know, they know what I'm going through. You know, when I have told a few people, you know, people often say, well, you know, you did have a head injury. So, you know, and that it was, you know, your imagination or just, you know, you're a. consciousness trying to kind of cope with what was going on.

So it's always been kind of all these different kind of answers, kind of, you know, that people have used to try and explain, you know, when I've told them about. I know what happened to me. Like, you know, this is my experience. Like, you know, part of my mind says, like, you trying to take that away from me, you know, it's just like you trying to kind of take that, like, hope, you know, and those words that you would say to me at night that I kind of made my kind of

philosophy, like, you know, you're trying to take that away? Like, you know, I thought you were a friend type thing, you know, and I know they don't mean it in that way, you know, but sometimes it's hard not to take it that way. I realized that, you know, he was kind of giving it what I needed when I needed it. So in a way, like, he was always there and always with me, you know, when I would just kind of think back on that phrase and that mantra that kind of became my mantra. Yeah, I mean, there were times where, you know, I swear that I would see, you know, at different moments, different times, like, where I swear I would see him kind of like, you know, in the distance. But knowing, like, oh, you know, that's just someone who looked like him or, you know, that's just, you know, my imagination. You know, but it wasn't like, oh, he's there.

You know, he's around. It was just kind of little moments where it's just kind of like, in a way, I think it might have been like little reminder. that, hey, you know, I'm still around. You're not in this alone. All right, Jack here. I just thought I'd jump in and talk for a second because even though I love this story, it's amazing, that part that he just talked about really frustrates me when he mentioned these people that he would tell about this experience. You'd tell them about the experience and their first instinct is to question it or say that it's not real. That is so weird to me. And I think it's a very, it's a weird reaction and I think it's an arrogant reaction.

These people know nothing about this person or what he's gone through. He's gone through so much more than they could ever even imagine, probably more than they'll ever even go through in their life. And it's so strange to immediately question this person's lived experience, let alone say that it's not real, because at a certain point, how would you even define that? Because it sounds pretty real to me. It sounds actually probably one of the most real things that's ever happened to John if I had to take a guess. And, you know, he lost his leg. He lost his own brother and his family got torn apart. And he had this amazing experience and an opportunity to see his brother a couple more times.

I mean, it's so weird to be a person that like your first instinct is to try to take that away from him in some way. It's very weird and there are people like that and I think part of the reason I'm doing this show is to try to get rid of that instinct. Even if you're skeptical about something, you know, you could definitely keep that to yourself because sometimes it's a really stupid thought. You sound like an idiot. I've talked to John at length about this and, you know, he's talked to me about the times in the hospital that we're very very, very, you know, he's talked to me. blurry to him and confusing. And then, of course, the times where he would wake up and be very clear-headed, including the times that he visited his parents during the day. And he said that these

visits with Andy were very much clear-headed waking experiences. He would wake up very lucid, and this would happen. He knows it's real. No part of him thinks this was some kind of weird dream. But you know what? Even if it was, who cares? I don't think it matters. I don't think it It's a person's lived experience, and this is a very important one to him. So I just wanted to drive that point home. I mean, this is an amazing, amazing story, but I think another important point of it is that I think we really need to adjust the way we look at people's lived experience, and especially the way people are very, very quick to give their uninvited personal opinions about it. So I'm I'm going to let John continue on with the story, but I just wanted to say that.

Okay, we have to take a quick break, but we will be right back. You know, getting out of the hospital definitely made it seem a lot more real. You know, because now it's just like, oh, you're in the real world. You know, trying to get back to how things were. It was definitely kind of more of an adjustment and became more real, you know, moving around the real world and not just, you know, the hospital. where, especially with like physical therapy, they make things, you know, easier and more comfortable for you.

So I think that's when, you know, the full and real adjustment to everything kind of started. And then the family had moved to Iowa. It was like a way to kind of start over in a way. Like, that was good because I didn't have, you know, people who knew me my whole life and now, you know, after the accident, you know, seeing me different, you know, moving to Iowa, you know, people just seeing me how I was then and not knowing everything, pitying or asking questions or people who didn't quite know about the accident, asking things like, you know, how my brother's doing.

You know, so in a way it was kind of nice to have that fresh start. I always felt that he must be watching over me. You know, just because I couldn't see him doesn't mean he isn't around. So I was kind of felt that, you know, no matter what, you know, he was still there for me. You know, having kind of, you know, those down moments or, you know, depression about anything. You know, I always kind of use the idea and, you know, his memory as kind of strength to kind of picked me back up again. I got a second chance at life, and so it was just like, I want to live it to the fullest for me, but also for him. So years later, I was engaged to this girl, and she

dealt with bipolar, and I didn't realize at the time, but she had gone off her meds. I had been at work all day, and I'd come home, and found her just sitting on a... couch, and TV was on, but volume down. You know, I could tell that something was kind of on her minds, you know, something was going on. And, you know, she was bipolar. And so I thought, you know, oh, you know, she must be kind of dealing with, you know, a downward turn in terms of her feelings. And so, you know, I had asked her what was going on. And she had told me that earlier in the day, she went going to the gas station just went into a really downward manic episode

and all she could think about was just walking into traffic and she said that she went to take a step and then kind of felt someone grab her and pull her back on the sidewalk and looked around and saw her all this kid, you know, who was kind of like, you know, a late teen, and she started describing the kid in person. And I was just like, kind of got me thinking, because then the description sounded really familiar. Then when she said the, you know, what he was wearing, you know, a blue t-shirt that said jinks on it, I was kind of got my blood running cold in a way, because it was just, I

felt like I knew who it was that helped her. And so, so Jenks was the school that me and my brother, and also my sister, you know, I had gone to when we lived in Philly. And this took place in Delaware. Like me and my fiancé were living in Delaware at the time. So, you know, the chances of someone else wearing a Jenks,

I think would be very slim. So she had said that, you know, she went, you know, and turned around to say thanks to the person. And the person wasn't there anymore. And she couldn't see where he went. So next time we were at my parents' house, you know, we went into the basement. You know, I went through boxes, you know, that had family photos and found a picture of my brother. and showed it to her, and her face just got kind of pale, and she got quiet. And she kind of looked and she said, but that was who she saw, that, you know, she just

couldn't understand how that picture of my brother, who she hadn't seen a picture of before, she got super confused on how that could have been the person who really saved her. my parents' way of dealing with the drama and everything I mean losing a brother was hard I can't imagine losing a child but my parents' way of dealing with it was to kind of remove the family photos that he was in she had never seen pictures of him because there weren't any pictures

up around the house so when we went into the basement you know looking through the boxes to find some of the photos, when I found the photo and showed it to her, it was the first time she had seen a picture of my brother. At the time, just the kind of look of shock on her face when she saw the photo, you know, is what made me believe her, because I don't think someone can be that good of an actor, you know, in that moment. she, you know, was saying things that, you know,

it just proves that, you know, he's still here looking out for you, you know, and looking out for those around you, including her now. Philosophically, like, you know, I've gotten to the point where, you know, especially now that it's been like, you know, 25 years later, where I know that, like, you know, I trust my own experiences. I trust myself. You know, I know myself. Like, I know myself.

I know what I saw. You know, I know what I've been through. You know, so if someone, you know, has an issue with me or with anything, you know, like sharing an experience, well, that's their issue. You know, I talk to people who are kind of like, you know, naysayers or just like, oh, that couldn't have happened or, oh, you must have imagined it. But just trying to kind of diminish accomplishments too, you know. people are always just kind of, you know, going to often put other people down, you know, or kind of doubt other people just so they can feel better about themselves type thing. And just in, you know, the grand scheme of things, you know, this experience isn't even like, you know,

a big part, you know, of everything. Like, it's something I went through. It's something that helped me. But, you know, in terms of everything I've gone through, with life, with kind of losing my leg and just dealing with everything, you know, now doing, you know, my own, you know, working hard to do my own art full time. There's just been so many other, like, bigger things that, in a way that have happened in my life. So it's just kind of funny that people kind of, in a way, doubt, you know, something that help me

and just kind of a small part when there's bigger things that I've kind of done and, you know, gone through and dealt with that I would think would be more attention grabbing in a way. But yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know. I don't have, I can't. I can honestly say, like, I've never actually sat and thought about, like, you know, what this was. Like, to me, it was just, you know, an experience in something that I had. But I've never actually, like, thought, oh, how did this happen? Or, you know, what was this that was happening?

What I went through was a lot. Like, it was stuff that I wouldn't wish on, you know, people I hate, you know, or an enemy. Like, if I didn't have that support, like, I don't know where I would be now, you know, or if I would be here now. Like, so with people who are kind of skeptical or naysayers, I just kind of remind myself, like, they never went through what I went through. They haven't gone through even anything similar. So, of course, they can't understand it, you know, or kind of empathize with how I feel.

So it's just like, I just kind of take comfort in the fact that, like, you know, I went through this. I survived this. Like, I was stronger and I was stronger, you know, in part by what I actually. happen. All right. Thank you, John, so much for telling us that story. I know it was really difficult one to talk about. So really thank you for telling us that. That was incredible. One of my favorite stories, not all of these paranormal stories need to be bad or scary. That was a really nice one. Probably some of you needed that after the last few episodes.

So I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And I hope it had some good lessons in there to be learned because I think the way people react to these topics is not so great sometimes. And part of what I'm doing with this show is to hopefully open people's minds a little bit or at least at least help them understand and maybe learn away a framework of looking at this stuff or even just accepting and

understanding that people have gone through stuff that you could never understand or never know. Everybody has had a very, very different lived experience. And a lot of the most intense stuff that they've gone through, they're not going to talk about with you. They might not talk about with anybody. It might be something that they keep secret. So it's just worth keeping that in mind when you think about running your mouth about how much you know about somebody else's lived experience and especially if you're going to talk about their life as if you know about it better than them. So something worth considering when moving through the world and talking to people, especially when it comes to talking to somebody else about their own personal lived experience

and perhaps not invalidating that to the people that you meet. So with that being said, that brings us to the end of this episode. Once again, I want to thank John for telling us that story. And I also want to officially dedicate this episode to the memory of John's brother, Andy. On behalf of Otherworld, rest in peace, Andy. And thank you, John, so much for telling us that story. My name's Jack Wagner. This episode is called My Brother's Keeper, and you've been listening to Otherworld.

Otherworld is executive produced and hosted by myself, Jack Wagner. Our theme song is by Coberman. The soundtrack of this episode is by North Americans. Editing and Engineering by Theo Schaefer. Our work for our show is by Coldestack Studios. Once again, this is an independent show, so please show us. your support by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and telling your friends. If you want to follow us on social media, we're at OtherworldPod on Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you're

somebody you know has experienced something paranormal, supernatural, or unexplained, you could send us your story at Stories at Otherworldpod.com. Folks, one more thing. If you liked this episode, please help me out by spreading the word. Tell your friends about Otherworld. Leave us a review. It's been helping a lot. The show's been growing, which has been super exciting to see, but still needs to get bigger. So please help me out, and thank you so much for helping me out already.