Ouvre ton jeu avec Marie-Claude Barrette - #111 Corneille | Ouvre ton jeu avec Marie-Claude Barrette

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Une rencontre avec Corneille c’est l’équivalent d’échanger avec un philosophe. Son parcours de vie est unique et complexe. Tout aurait pu basculer, mais ce n’est pas le chemin qu’il a choisi. Il a consulté, il a appris des autres, mais sa rencontre avec sa douce Sophia, son âme sœur a tout changé. Dans cet épisode, Corneille parle, entre autres; d’amour, de pardon, de sa famille et du temps qui passe.━━━━━━━━━━━00:00:00 - Introduction00:16:42 - Cartes vertes00:48:04 - Cartes jaunes01:20:17 - Cartes rouges01:34:07 - Cartes Eros01:50:19 - Carte Opto-Réseau━━━━━━━━━━━L'épisode est également disponible sur Patreon, Spotify, Apple Podcasts et les plateformes d'écoute en ligne.Vous aimez Ouvre ton jeu? C'est à votre tour d'ouvrir votre jeu avec la version jeu de société. Disponible dès maintenant partout au Québec et au https://www.randolph.ca/produit/ouvre-ton-jeu-fr/?srsltid=AfmBOoo3YkPk-AkJ9iG2D822-C9cYxyRoVXZ8ddfCQG0rwu2_GneuqTT Visitez mon site web : https://www.marie-claude.com et découvrez l'univers enrichissant du MarieClub, pour en apprendre sur l'humain dans tous ses états et visionner les épisodes d'Ouvre ton jeu, une semaine d’avance. ━━━━━━━━━━━ Ouvre ton jeu est présenté par Karine Joncas, la référence en matière de soins pour la peau, disponible dans près de 1000 pharmacies au Québec. Visitez le https://www.karinejoncas.ca et obtenez 15% de rabais avec le code ouvretonjeu15.Grâce à Éros et compagnie et notre niveau rose, obtenez 15% avec le code rose15 au https://www.erosetcompagnie.com/?code=rose15Merci également à Opto-Réseau, nouveau partenaire d'Ouvre ton jeu. Visitez le https://www.opto-reseau.com pour prendre rendez-vous dans l'une de leurs 86 cliniques.

Hello everyone, welcome to Ouvre Ton Jeu, the podcast. As always, we like it, we're like in a routine together. I do things pretty much the same in the introduction, because I know that you react a lot, you comment a lot on Ouvre Ton Jeu that I do with each of the guests. And what I find exceptional, and I don't care to repeat it because we always say, ah, social networks, there is hatred, it's difficult to read, there are people who say a little bit of anything, it's aggressive, we don't dare to speak because we get ourselves into it. Well, I find that you, when you watch Ouvre Ton Jeu and you comment on our different platforms of distribution,

it's so rare that there are negative comments, but so rare. I feel like we're somewhere in an exception. And that's where we see the strength of these exchange places. It's so interesting to read you, to understand what you're going through. And everyone is reading and recommending what the others are saying. So I hope it will last like this for a long time, because the people who come here are in their truth, in their authenticity. And I think that someone who is authentic is true and who has this interest, which is quite big for the other, that coming to confide in his life, well, it deserves respect, and you have it. And we too have the greatest respect for you. So thank you for growing every week as a community.

And today, I want to salute, more particularly, the people from Le Bel-sur-Kivillon. Hello! Because about two years ago, when there were the fires, I remember I went to see you with Guylaine Tanguay and Guylaine Tremblay. By the way, both of them went through Ouvre ton Jeu and we went to meet you when things weren't going well at all. We went to Santerre and it was extraordinary. So today, it's you that I want to greet, and of course, all the others. Here are some comments for the episode of Anne-Elisabeth Bosset.

Christine says, The testimony made me cry so much. In relation to Anne-Elisabeth, I am a unique child. My parents are both Isamers. To tell you how true it is, what she says, anger, pain, responsibility, for my part, yes, I gradually lose them and realize that I am now the mother of my parents. Louise, in reference to Frédéric Lenoir, Frédéric is an extraordinary teacher. His personal life with multiple choices in his life as a couple surprises me.

I am happy to receive his points of view. Thank you for all this beautiful, sincere interview. Lily talks to us about Pierre-Houd. She says, This is the first time I'm listening to an interview from Balado, sorry, from start to finish, without ever being shy. What a man! Bravo, it's fun. We will tell them, of course, we are trying to share as much as possible your comments with our guests. And of course, we have our partners, which allows you to watch or listen week after week. Now, we have more than 110 episodes. You can watch them for free. You can also go on Patreon if you want them, a week in advance, without advertising at that time. There are levels where you have to pay, it's not big amounts, but it's a monthly subscription.

So you can go see Patreon and you do Open Your Game, you will arrive on the page Open Your Game, and you can go see'abonnement possible. Nos partenaires, il y a Karine Jonquas qui est là depuis le tout début et Karine, bon je vous l'ai dit souvent, c'est 1000 points de vente à travers le Québec où elle vente des produits cosmétiques et si vous faites des achats en ligne, à ce moment-là elle vous offre 15% de rabais et code is OVRETONJEUX15. There is Optoraiso86, an independent clinic, and you can go to Optoraiso.com to make an appointment to do a sight test. So it's done quickly. And Ross & Company, there are 29 shops all over Quebec. It's a simple and fast access to their products. And also, they have consulting services. Quebec, c'est un accès simple et rapide à leurs produits et aussi ils ont des services de

consultation. Vous pouvez aller visiter leur site internet et aussi si vous faites un achat ou des achats en ligne, il vous offre 15% de rabais et le code promo est ROSE15. Je remercie mon équipe, Caroline Dionne à la coordination, David Bourgeois à la mise en ligne, Jonathan Frechette to digital creation, and Sean Collard to capture, Jérémie Boucher to social networks. Today, he's a man I met a few years ago and I think we all had a lot of empathy for him. He lived through things that few people will live through in a traumatic way. He completely lost his family. He had to leave the life and he decided to do, from these tragic events he had in Rwanda, something that brought him elsewhere. He decided to use it, we'll see what he's going to tell us, but I have the impression that it out a few weeks ago called The Melody of Pardon.

A book that makes sure that we have a lot of reflection. It's not necessarily what we're going to talk about today because it's going to be a big hit. But I have the impression that we will have a corner in a big opening where there will be a lot of answers to these many questions. So I'm really looking forward to receiving him. So place Cornelius. For me, my dad was a gentleman. But at 30 years old, he was already a gentleman. And me, at 40 years old, I didn't feel like a gentleman. It's maybe the fact that I do the job I do, I always have the impression that there was always a bit of youth in me. My dad was 30 years never, never always kept a

So at 43 I looked at myself, I looked at my life and I said to myself, when he was 30, he was a man Me at 43, I still don't feel like a man Am I a decent dad? Am I a man? Am I even an adult? I don't understand, because I a man? Am I even an adult? I don't understand. Because I don't feel like my dad. Ouvre ton jeu is presented by Karine Jonquard, the skin care reference available in nearly 1000 pharmacies in Quebec,

and by the Marie-Club, which is a space dedicated to the best-being, where there are more than a hundred masters, led by experts, available on MarieClob.com. Table games, Open Your Original Game and the Couples Edition are available everywhere in Quebec and on Randolph.ca. So, as I told you at the beginning of the beginning, I have a great, great admiration for the man in front of me. He's someone inspiring. He's someone who also brings us,

I find, in great reflections, life, death, which is connected. He's someone who brings us elsewhere. He says he comes from far away, but he also brings us elsewhere. So, I present Corneille. Hello, Mike-Leud. What a pleasure! A real pleasure to find you, really.

I find it interesting to have you here in this futile universe where we have the time to take the time to tell each other. Ah, time. What does time mean to you? Oh my God, it's funny because I'm going to be in full contradiction in what I'm going to say, but since I was very little, people tell me that time is money. Time is money.

It's a very, very, very important value in Western societies. And it's my father, my parents, who studied in Germany. They had tasted a little bit of the importance of time, punctuality. You can't waste time on people. The older I get, the more I realize that time is important. But I'm going to talk about it for myself. Time is only useful when you can agree to do nothing with it. If you can afford to just have the time to breathe, to hesitate, to think, to ask yourself questions that have nothing to do with the daily life you create,

to be in a kind of docile,. He uses that time, but the time we build with lots of activities, it looks like we're taking away his true value. In any case, the more I move forward in time, we don't feel it. You know, he's there, and he might be worth the money. And he's monetized, and you can exchange it against lots and lots of things that matter in our society. But I find that he finds his true value when we do nothing about it. You know, you're just sitting in time.

The more time goes by, the more I realize that these moments are so precious. Like us right now, I came, I was looking forward to talking to you. Because it was you, of course. But also because I knew we were going to have time. You know, I didn't have a kind of two seconds in the eyes of someone who makes me a wink to tell me we're going to the advertising break. And then, it's a kind of, we're always a little pushed in the back to accelerate, to run. And then, the more I advance in age, the more I realize that it's tempting me, maybe.

Well, it's good to get a hold of yourself. And not knowing what we're going to do the next minute. Because with our agendas, I don't know, I have so many notifications of that, there's always something. Oh my God. And you know, I think that's it, a little bit. I think that's it, running after time. Running after the time that stops. Yes, that's it. If time makes's it. Running after time. Running after time that stops. Yes, that's it.

Time makes us run, but we run after time. We run after him all the time, and it's a bit absurd because we never catch him. And we know it. We know that at no time we will catch him and say, we got him, we do what we want, and we can stop him. We can't stop time. And then, it's a bit of a boat sentence, when you have children, you heard it, but you also lived it, every parent hears it, but life, when you have children, it's crazy how time flies by.

But it's so true. And time has this magic too magic to be so rich and at the same time so illusory. I look at my 15 year old boy, he was born in the house where we live. He has been going through the same door for 15 years, since he was born. I remember very well when he was 2 years old and his head didn't even reach the door handle. And now he's six feet two, he's taller than me. And it's the same door, it's the same physical place. I can't grasp that time. I can't sit down and say,

ah, okay, between two and fifteen... What happened? That happened. And I don't know where that time went. I think that yes, paternity and maternity make you realize how precious that time is and how fast it goes. Yes, because we see it in the other person. We see it in our child who evolves with time. And who changes. And I don't know if that's what you do, but sometimes when we see people again who haven't seen each other in a long time, sometimes we think that time has changed them. Yes, yes.

And we always have to say to ourselves, well, they must say the same thing about us. Because we don't feel like changing. No, well no. We live in ourselves, we live in our body. And before meeting someone, you must have lived it, but I also lived it when you have a public personality and that people who, let's say, who are used to seeing you all the time on their screens, then at some point they hear a little less about you, then they see you again and they say, oh, you've aged! And then each time I'm like, well, I hope. We don't have a choice, you can cheat as much as you want. But it's... That's for sure you'll get older.

It's for sure that when you tell me, it's been 10 years since I've seen you, there are chances that I've aged a little bit. Oh yeah, well, we say that like that, right? Yes, yes, but it's because of my beard. You have a little bit of white that appears. And especially when I go to France, because in the last 10 years,

I've been living less and less with the family. And then, you know, Sophia and me, my wife, we decided to really stay here and to anchor here with the family. Then, you know, Sofia and I, my wife, decided to really stay here, to really focus here, and not to miss this time that brings memories and experiences

with our children. Then, from time to time, it's when I go, like I just released a book, so I go to promote it for a week. But there's a generation of people who have frozen me in their memory as the guy with the laphro and a baby face. Then they tell me, you've grown old, but I like to hear that.

I like to be told that time has passed and that it's visible on my face. I like that because I'm like, okay, my face is a witness to everything that happened and a lot of beautiful things happened too. It's also due to the fact that I grew up in Africa and I come from a culture where old people were... it gave you an authority when you were old. The elders... It's a sage. Ah, it's a sage. And then there's a real authority that comes with the fact of being of a certain age. You know, if you could... You're not obliged to be from the same family to raise a child in the street or a young person on a terrace that behaves in a very impolite way.

And the young people understood it. Yes, they understood it. The idea that you can answer to a native, it's like I learned it when I got here. It's like the more I get older, the more it gives me gallows and authority. I grew up in this culture of, I can't wait to be old to be able to do more things and allow me more and have more freedom.

It gives value. Yes. Yes. But it's extraordinary because it seems that older people will complain, on the contrary, that they lose their value. Here. Here. Because that's what we make people feel, the elderly.

And we're not going to go back there, but the pandemic has a little bit shown to everyone what the priorities were for society in general. And I think we quickly understood that in the West, it's not fun to age, and that culture, for example, was not the most important sector for... No, no, it brought out... It brought out stand out. But it's really interesting, the value that you give as you age. I find it interesting to hear you talk about it.

I don't have any merit, it's just that I grew up in it. Yes, but it broadens the possibilities. Are you ready to open your game? Green questions are general order questions. Yellow questions are more general order questions. The yellow questions are more specific order questions. The red questions are personal questions.

We have the Spaceman question, which is a question dedicated to our Patreon subscribers. The question will be accompanied by the question of sensuality, sexuality and intimacy, but you choose the questions that you answer. The question of your network is the soft question that makes us land the plane of this big interview. Your joker. When you don't want to answer, when I ask too many questions, when you want to change a question, you take it and I change questions. So how does it work? I'll give you the green level. You'll draw the cards on the table. You'll give me five. There's one that you have to answer to. You'll choose one and after that I'll choose one. So you'll answer two questions in a row. I'll choose five.

Perfect. So there's one that you took away from me. Perfect. So, there's one that you took away from me. Perfect. So here, you chose one. What is the definition of the word family? What makes you vulnerable? What importance do you give to others? What kind of child were you? What is your worst flaw? These two interests me. I think I take with the importance that I give to the eyes of others. Perfect, go ahead. Because I talk about it in my book. I have a whole chapter on that, on freedom. And I ask myself the question, what can, de quoi est-ce qu'on peut être libre? A minima on peut se dire, on peut se libérer du regard de l'autre.

Puis ça c'est une phrase qui revient souvent aussi, c'est comme les réseaux sociaux sont devenus le lieu d'expression de toutes les générations, j'ai l'impression. Je ne sais pas en quelle mesure ça reflète réellement à ce que expression of all generations, I have the impression. I don't know to what extent it really reflects what people are going through, but it's a clue to something. Then it often comes back, we are confronted, we are all confronted with the power, with the strength of what others think of us. You know, everyone has their own level, very well known people will say, you know... There are two kinds of well known personalities, two kinds of connections with networks, some people feel the need to respond to each criticism,

and some others are like, no, not really. I often asked myself this question, is it possible to make the experience of oneself, and then completely abstract from the other's gaze? And I came to the conclusion that no. Because for a long time I defined myself as someone whose gaze did not affect that much. And it was true, in a certain way. For example, in music, I never was able to do something that I felt was asked of me by, no matter what authorities, the public, because the public becomes an authority at some point. It's probably the most legitimate authority for an artist, but there are others, you know, the media and the radio. You can't please everyone. I understood it quite early, by saying to myself, I can please everyone, even those

to whom I might please, I can't identify them. You know, while I was doing my work as an artist, I made my first album because I was in a kind of therapy therapy and I wrote songs to say things that were heavy on my heart and then express myself. And I think that's the desire of each artist, basically, to talk about him or her hoping that others will accept it. But at no time do you get an Excel file with the different profiles of people you would like to see on your shows.

It doesn't work like that. You have to be authentic. You have to be authentic. Ideally, that's how it should be. Except that, whether you want it or not, at some point, I remember that at the release of my first album, when I met this monster, this beast that was the notoriety, where people recognize each other in the street, we can say that it's the superficial part of success, but there's something much deeper,

there are 100, 200, 1000, 5000, 30,000 people who come to see you live. Then, at some point, you have to say, okay, I think this world has an impact on the way I see myself. It's no longer true that I'm just me in my bubble. Like, this world, first of all, it influences the ability to live my job. Because we all understand that we don't live the same way when there are 100 people who come to see you in person, and someone else has 6,000. It's not the same way when there are 100 people who come to see you in a show, someone in a 6,000, it's not the same way of life. So concretely, more people think of the good in you, the better you live. Because you have an attraction that is bigger. Because you have an attraction that is bigger, and we still live better with ourselves when

we think that there are more people who love you than those who don't love you in general. So that was the first lesson. I said, OK, maybe when I'm alone in an artistic bubble, I can be alone, I can look at each other, but once I get out of it, especially with success, especially with the contact of many foreigners with whom I became more or less intimate, because I opened my heart to them, they went into it, I met them in the abbey, they tell me, ah your song, it accompanied me in such or such a difficult situation. Finally, there is an intimacy that settles between me and many foreigners.

And then at some point, I started to develop a reflex that is a little bit counterintuitive for an artist, that is to say to invite all these people that I had met in my artistic bubble, in my creative bubble, to start asking me what they would like. From my second album, I was in the mood, OK, will they like it? Will they not like it? And since I'm not at all of nature, too interested in what others will think of me, especially my music, I went completely the opposite. I went the opposite of what people thought of me.

You did the opposite. So you didn't do what you wanted. You were in reaction. In the end, I still didn't do what I wanted. For a long time, I thought that to fight and then say, I don't care what others think, it would give you a certain freedom, but in fact no. It's just another kind of prison. But it's not... it's... it looks like you didn't care, but in fact you wanted to dissociate yourself. Yes. So it's even more than caring. It's even more...

Because you're moving away from yourself. Yes, because it's... it's going to be a little... a little philosophical for two seconds, but... In fact, I realize, since I try to explain in my book, that there is no self in the Absolute that exists. We are never, never alone. It does not exist. Whether in misfortune, whether in pleasure, and especially in knowledge and appreciation of oneself, we are never alone with ourselves.

If I don't have you in front of me, this conversation doesn't exist. There are things that will emerge in my mind about my person, by the fact that you asked me questions, you took me to places, I was like, it's true that Marie-Claude told me about that, I'm going to go home, I'm going to talk to Sophia, and all of a sudden, without you knowing,

you have added two or three dimensions on how I perceive myself and how I perceive others. And in fact, we only live in the eyes of others, anyway. But you have to accept it. I think your example is really good, we understand well, I think it's well illustrated. Because not wanting what others expect from you, is moving away from yourself. Because it's possible in what you expect that there's something you like in there. And there, it's giving up on yourself. And that's the danger. That's exactly the danger. That's exactly what you just explained. It's that there are things that the other tells you about yourself that could help you. And I even went further. Even when it's negative, it can help you.

Yes. Criticism can be... There are critics who are free, of course. I would say that even the free critics, you know, there are critics who are free, who have no relationship, it's just someone who can't face the misfortunes and the miseries of their own life, and who project and send it on someone else. But even in there, because in the capacity you have to protect yourself from this kind of criticism, or not, you discover yourself too. I know for example that I use myself as a barometer of my well-being and my happiness, my reaction to people I disagree with, or my reaction to people who say things that are completely opposite to my beliefs for example. When I react too strongly, generally it's something that doesn't go well in my life. Because it shouldn't. But you know, I use it.

I mean, I was spared, I would be honest, to say that I often receive criticism. It's very, very, very rare. And generally when I receive criticism, it's in relation to Rwanda, it's because I said something that didn't please people. That wasn't in the exactitude. That wasn't in the exactitude. It's a country that's clipped, and you have to be careful with what you say. It's political. We're very quickly in polarization.

But even there, I learn things about myself when I'm confronted with the fact of having to react to a critique. Because you have to position yourself. And to position yourself is to put our limits on us. It's to understand that the person, why did she cross my limit? Why do I have this limit? I really like conversations, sometimes animated, where there is a disagreement when they are in the respect, obviously.

But that's how I think we learn from each other. You don't have to be stubborn. No, you don't have to be stubborn. At the same time, I understand that we have to be... Sometimes it protects us. Sometimes I happen to be stubborn, but it's just because I'm short of resources. You know, basically, that's it.

I'm short of resources, so... Yeah, I understand. You put me in the discussion. Yeah, that's it. You put me in talk, and you're making yourself believe that... It's me. I'm like that, and it's over. At what point did you understand that you had to accept the look of others, and not that you were rebuking the look of others in what you were doing? It was a process. I don't think I'm able to identify a moment or an event that would have brought me back. This was a process.

All I know is that throughout my life I'm looking to live a lighter life. And I think that the acceptance of everything outside our control, every time I lose everything. The more I realize that I have no control, I have no control over my destiny, the more I want this belief and the more everything goes wrong. Never the contrary. Every time I thought, no, there is this or that thing that might escape me in relation to my life, my family's life, our future, the future of the world, whatever, I'm always losing. It always complicates my life.

And every time I accepted that, you know what, what must happen, happens. I know it's hard to say, but it's true. Every time I accepted that all the good things I did, I wasn't for much, and the bad things too. I'm just in this kind of very strange experience that the bad things. I'm just in this very strange experience called life. I'm interacting with people I don't choose to meet. I come from a father and mother I didn't choose. Our children, once in a while, to give us a little hint,

they tell us, well, you criticize us, but we didn't choose to be in the world. And then I tell them, well, we didn't choose you either. It's like, you don't have all the boxes, calm down. We're all a little bit like, we don't know where we are most of the time, but there's a kind of injunction, then... Yes, injunction from society, then from our respective stories, to be in control of your destiny. It shouldn't escape you. I'm like, no, I don't have the choice

but to lose control of everything, all the time. And the more I accept it, the lighter it gets. And I'm stressed in life. And every time I'm told, it often happens to me, that they tell me, there's nothing stressing you, it seems to me. And I think it's mostly because I let go. Maybe because I've experienced events in my life that forced me to be like that.

I was confronted with the loss of my family at a young age. Then I left my country, I was demoted very, very young. In fact, I was born demoted, I'm in Germany. So I wasn't at home, I arrived at home, I wasn't at home either. But when you arrived in Rwanda, you spoke German. I spoke German, I didn't speak Kinyarwanda. So you were a little foreign. I was foreign at home.

When I go to France, they say I'm Canadian, and I'm like, no, I'm not Canadian, I'm Quebecer. They say, but your passport is Canadian. Yes, but in any case, you don't understand. In short, when I'm here, they tell me, you don't know, then you don't have an accent. I'm like, no, my Western identity is first of all Quebecois. This is the place where I lived the longest. You're from here?

I'm from here. I have my family here. Always jokingly, I'm from here. My family is here. I'm always joking. When your grandmother is from a country, well you're from that country too, you don't want to. My grandmother is Quebecer, so I'm Quebecer. You're Quebecer. And I'm... We're also where we come from. We're not just where we come from, we are also from where we are going to leave, from the moment you are a parent, my children are a quarter-Quebecois, a quarter-Portuguese, and the rest is Rwandan. But the quarter which is Portuguese, they are so less, and I am so them, that they also give me their part of identity. They gave me Quebec, they also gave me Portuguese. They give me as much as I give them, maybe even more than I give them, you know, in terms of identity.

So all that to say that all my life, I never knew where I was coming from, we never know where we're going. I came into this job a little bit by chance. In the book, I have a whole chapter on perseverance, where I say that it's a slightly over-the-top notion. Because when I look at my success, I realize that I'm not really for it. I just wanted to ask people, the book I read at the beginning, but it's the melody of forgiveness, it's your last book, if that asks you what, which book? Yes, yes, that's it, the melody of forgiveness. And so it's very, for me, it's very, very, very important. It means a lot to me. It lightens my life. It impregnates me with a kind of inner peace, knowing that I'm in control of nothing. And it works every time. You have tools to navigate. Yes.

So the question, earlier, it was asking you, I want to ask you, what is your worst flaw? My worst flaw? My blonde would say I'm stubborn. I think I have all the flaws in the world. It's just that it depends on the moment, on the person who finds me these flaws. Is there one that you tried to correct, that you said that it bothers you? Hey, that question is good. Yes and no. Because I'm telling you that I'm stubborn for example. Yeah. It's really annoying sometimes in a relationship with someone.

You're obstinate. I'm obstinate. I'm obstinate. I'm obstinate. I... Are you a jerk? No, I'm not a jerk. Okay. No, I'm notaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. I'm abst can accept a lot of things. I have a very... very head-on side, there are things that happen and I don't notice them. And then at some point I realize, I realize it happened.

Oh well, it's not cool. And then it happened to me in my life to... to stop clear relationships because I had accumulated too many. But for real, because there are people who accumulate behaviors that harm us from certain people, sometimes even close, knowing that it is happening and then say okay no, I will pass over it, I consciously passed over it. I just have the easy forgiveness, I have the easy excuse, I'm able to give excuses to people,

he was tired, he was not doing well in his life, until the day when he was not feeling well. And then that day, I say, well, it's over. So it's on me for the other person. So for the other person, you didn't see him coming. So it can surprise. And it's without a doubt? It's without a doubt.

So the other person can't do anything anymore. It's without a doubt and it's without any equivocation? It's without any equivocation. So the other person can't do anything anymore. It's without any equivocation and without anger. And that's what's complicated. I do the analysis of things. What I'm saying is that the relationship is no longer advantageous for you or for me. It doesn't work. It does neither good for you nor for me.

And it's also that, and I'm discovering it over time, I realize that I'm not that important in the life of some people. I think that sometimes we don't cut short to certain relationships because we imagine that the other person will be completely broken up. But you're not talking necessarily about love relationships. No, I'm talking about... It means friendship, professional... Friendship, professional... All these types of relationships.

So, to come back to the default, being quiet, it can be useful to me, but I think it has served me a lot more. At what point did it serve you? First, in my career. Which hand did it serve you? Already in my career. In my career, the fact that I'm still here, and that they still keep me here today, and that I still have my head on my shoulders, and that I'm not completely lost.

Every time I feel like I have to do something, again, that has nothing to do with the others expect from me, I do it. Then you have to tell me, it's really not a good idea. I mean, yeah, for you maybe, but I have to do it. I don't know why, but I have to do it. I very rarely, very rarely, stopped doing something because it was not the right

moment, because it's not what you do in a career. At some point I decided to be at the peak of my career in French speaking countries and I decided to make an album in English. Was it of any interest to my career? Not really, but it made me feel good. a crazy good. And I consider that too. I've always, and I think it's since I was very young, I've always accepted in myself and in myself this kind of practical egoism. You know, like in the plane, it's like, I have to do good to myself. In the first place, that's to save others in the plane, that's what we're saying. Yes, to save others, but... To at least be nice with others.

Yes. Often people tell me, you don't have a grudge, you're not... No, because I think about myself before, and when my needs are met, I'm completely available to others. When you tell me all that, I feel that there's a lot of philosophy behind it, a lot of...

Did you have to consult before getting there? Yes. Because there is wisdom in what you say. There is a step back, a look on yourself that is not always easy to see. There is a look on yourself that is not always easy, which is confronting us, because it's our only mirror. The person has different degrees. Mario's gaze for you, for example, I guess it's not the same as your colleagues at work. The closer they are, the more they look at you and what they think of you. And the least comment after you, or more importantly.

Because they are involved in something. And the least of the comments, do you think, is more important? Yes, yes, of course. Because he is part of something. Of course. He is part of a precise moment. Sometimes there can be comparisons, we can note changes. So it's important to hear those comments. Yes, it's super important and it impacts us, it impacts our way of seeing ourselves. way of seeing ourselves. I've always had the impression that... It was gradual. When I talk about therapy, for example, I've always been able to recognize the signs and the events that pushed me to look at them inside of me.

I can't say that I've always had the natural, spontaneous initiative to say, well, now it's going to work, I have to go see someone, I have to go and consult. No, that wasn't it. To be very honest with you, Marie-Claude, I went to consult because I met Sofia. Because for the first time, I met someone and I really wanted to keep her in my life, so I said to myself, well if that's what it takes, I'm going to do it. But I can't say that I did it just for myself. Yes, I did it for myself. It's not a personal momentum. It's not a personal momentum. I could have continued to go through life a little bit by surfing and saying to to myself, I'm alright, I'm alright.

Comparing myself to console myself, and saying to myself, I'm alright. I've had absolutely horrible things, but look, I'm still alright, I'm functional. And I come from a culture where everything is not perfect. In African culture, we have a great relationship with age, but we have a rotten relationship with therapy, because there are only crazy people who go to therapy.

So I was like, no, I'm fine, but I met someone whose presence mattered so much that I said to myself, okay, I don't know what I'm going to find by searching, but I'm going to go. And that's when a whole world opened up. Because I That's where the whole world opened up. Because I... First of all, I listened to someone who wasn't in judgment. I think a big part of therapy is that.

Absolutely. If you manage to find trust in the person you're talking to, who allows you to reveal yourself and be vulnerable. There was a question about vulnerability. What makes you vulnerable? Obviously, talk about yourself and what hurt us. Talking about things that hurt us the most, it makes us so vulnerable.

I come from a culture where men don't talk that much, and above all, they don't talk when they're hurt, but I think it's not only cultural, I think it's also generational, I think that men in the West don't have easy words either. Especially when it comes to saying, I was sick. The fact of sitting with someone who is only here to listen to me, it allowed me to say things that I had never authorized myself to say to myself. So your ears had never heard them?

My ears had never heard them. And it opened up a kind of endless fall and also a habit of telling myself, I'm reassured in the fact that I can tell myself the worst things I've experienced, the things I'm most ashamed of, and it's correct. It's correct. The other person didn't judge me. She's paid for it, but still, you know? You can say things and not be judged for it. The other person's wisdom came from my relationship with Sofia because when you open yourself to someone like that, you put yourself in danger because for me it's a risk. But vulnerability, it can't be given to everyone.

This door on vulnerability? No, it's a gift, it's a gift that can be returned to you, so you don't give it to anyone. And generally, the best is to give it to someone who does the same thing with you too. How many years have you known each other? 20 years. 20 years. 20 years. 20 years, it's going to be 20 years of marriage next year. And it was the biggest school of my life.

Beyond the fact that I always found myself with my best friend, and that it was hot, so I'm not as crazy as someone else, I married her. It wasn't fast, my business. I don't know much about life, but when I met her, I knew. I didn't know how I was going to do it. I didn't know how it was going to be. Every day is a...

A relationship is one thing, children, a family is another thing. But I knew it was her. So, after that, I thought, we'll sort it out. But the fact... The fact of having someone you trust, what a gift. What a gift because, first of all, having someone who gives you the taste to go and look at what's going on deep inside you. To allow you to always do it. Not to be ashamed to talk about what hurt us the most.

I think that's what hurts us the most, because I think it's a real... I think that's what hurts us the most in our societies today, it's this loneliness in our respective misfortunes, it's that we don't dare to say, to say to each other, it's going wrong. We don't dare to say, I have a heavy memory that weighs on me, and that's why I have a behavior that's a bit off right now, it's because there's something, I have a trauma memory and that's why I have a slightly distorted behavior at the moment. It's because I have a trauma that lives inside me.

We don't exchange what has hurt us. I'm sure what you're saying is echoing already on several people who are listening to the podcast. It's because it's so important. These painful memories. It's so important to read. And I understand that we don't do it. We don't do it because we don't trust it. We say to ourselves, well, first of all, what do I want to look like? What is...

We have the impression that the posture of someone who is strong protects us and brings us respect from the other. And so with respect, who knows, there may be a little bit of love. But in fact, no, not at all. Love only happens when the other feels like seeing you. Then me, met Sofias, it was the first time I met someone, especially since my new notoriety, but also in general, who only saw the person, the man. And not the artist.

And not the artist, and not the survivor of a genocide, a thing that was a bit out of the ordinary, but who was like, well, no, you know, you're doing two very, very, very, very, very, very painful things. You have a statue that is like, yeah, that's weird, but I don't care, I see someone. I'm like, oh, that's cool. OK, so beyond all my costumes, there is a human being. Beyond all my costumes, there is a human being. You saw it. I saw someone else because she had her own lot of costumes.

Then we were like, ok, it's correct to say to someone what didn't happen. And I think that if we took the habit, there should be some kind of AA, where we all at some point say to ourselves, OK, I identified what hurt me the most in my life, I throw myself in the cold water, I tell you. Hello, my name is Corneille. Hello, my name is Corneille, and here is my original trauma. It's your turn. We need that so that everyone realizes how nobody is alone in these traumas. And it's hard to be alone in these traumas.

It's the hardest. Because you know what you're saying, it affects so many people. Sometimes we don't understand the behavior of people, you know, the underbrush of anger, incredible sadness. Often there's something in the fog. Always. It's hard to close that. Very very hard. It's very very hard. It's probably the hardest. The person we see is never the complete person.

Well no. And that, you just touched on something. The day I understood that, it changed my relationship with with others completely. The day I understood that a bad word, a bad behavior, a behavior on the part of someone who is used to always being very very warm, and then that from nowhere behaves in a super cold way, even aggressive, the psychological recourse is to say, well, what did I do? Well, nobody was being weird with me, and then 99% of the time, we end up learning that that day, we're going to have a fight with me. And 99% of the time, we end up learning that that day was really not going to happen. The person lost his job, the person lost a loved one, the couple is not going well.

It's not really with you. Yes, that's it. It's like being in two places at the same time. It's hard to manage. It's hard to manage. It's rarely to have with you. It's the person who lives his own business. But also, as we are all products of our environment and our culture, and our culture, it says, how are you doing? Ah, great. Great.

It's almost like saying to someone, how are you doing? Because the person says, it's okay. It's like, no, it's not okay. someone, what's up, because the person says, it's okay. It's like, no, it's not okay. The bar has gone so high in the in the appearance, in the in the making believe that everything is fine.

A little anecdote that I find delicious, I was in an elevator in a chic hotel in Paris at one point, and then there was a guy who found himself in the same elevator as me, an American in addition. It means something, the fact that he is American. Then, a banal thing, hey how are you doing? Then he says, I ask him the question. Then he looks at me and says, it's not okay, but I'm not sure you're interested. I had never seen this guy in my life. And his honesty, his candor, in this moment, we're just all alone in the elevator.

I'll always remember it because I said to myself, first of all, he blocked me. I couldn't answer. I couldn't reply. There's no question there. I couldn't reply. And then I was like, you know what? I think you're right. We're in a lift, you get out at the second, I get out at the fourth. It's for sure that we won't have time to get into your problems. I said, thank you for being honest.

It ended like that. And then I said to myself, if we all had this honesty to say, is it okay? No, it's not okay. First, we're so ashamed. You already saw him differently. Oh, I saw him completely differently. For me, he was a strong man. For me, he was the...

the very example, the very archetype that I imagine in my head of what it is to be a strong person. That's it. It's to have the courage of his vulnerabilities. The courage of his vulnerabilities. Yeah. It's the courage of its vulnerabilities. The courage of its vulnerabilities. Yellow level. Yellow level, what is that? That was... That's specific. Yeah, That's more specific.

That's more general. Give me five please. One, two, three, four, five. Same thing. You choose one and I choose one. What type of lover are you? What are the biggest legs of your father and mother? Are you the father you wanted to be? Can misfortune bring happiness? What is your main source of insecurity? Oh my God, they're all good. For real, it doesn't work. You chose one and I chose one. Can you guide me to the one I can choose? It doesn't bother me. There is one for which I am prepared, it's this one.

Because that's, can misfortune bring happiness? Yeah. Because that's, I'm like, my whole life has not stopped giving me answers to the question. So I'm going to go for this one. Perfect. Go ahead. Can misfortune bring happiness?

Not only, for me, I can just talk for myself, not only can it lead to happiness, but it is indispensable. Misfortune is indispensable to happiness. First of all, happiness has no meaning, it is not palpable, you can't taste it if you don't remember how bad it was. You have to compare it to something. Yes, you have to. And on the one hand, but more concretely,

I always give this example, because it's one of the one of the strongest lessons that life has taught me. It happens on two eras in my life. The day I leave my house, after my family's disappearance, of course, complete psychological dissociation, and after a trauma, which is classic, but at the same time, a really weird thing, a kind of feeling of relief. And I didn't want to see that because it had no meaning, it had nothing to do with what

I had just lived. So I took this feeling of relief, almost like, ok, I always knew it was going to happen one day, it had to happen because we had seen signs, there were a lot of weird things, you know, our lives were always punctuated with small elements, small events, violence, but we were like, it will pass, it will pass, and then one day it exploded. So I took this relief feeling, I put it in a box, I put it somewhere in my subconscious. Then we move forward decades later, I'm with Sofia, we're in our house, then our boy has just been born, well, he's just been born, it means he's not even a year old yet.

We watch a movie, and the movie is over. End of the credits. I often tell this story because it really marked me. End of the credits, my blonde is asleep, and our boy too. It often ends like that, I'm always the last one who finishes the movie. And then at some point, I take the height. I don't know why, I take the height, I leave that moment, there's something deeply peaceful

when my family is asleep and I'm the only one awake. Because I know they're in peace. And then I have the time to measure that happiness. Because when we're interacting, it's not the same. Sleep keeps people we love outside our responsibilities, and at the same time very close to our hearts. It's like a state of fullness. It's a state of fullness, exactly.

So I take the height, I look at these scenes and I'm like, it looks like that, happiness. That's it, it might leave tomorrow. But right now, the film's credits are in this house. And I was like, this happiness is specific. It's not a happiness that could have been another. It's my blonde and it's really just this woman. It couldn't have been another.

I don't know, maybe in a metaverse, but we didn't get there. And I don't know what it's about. And it's this boy, because he's the product of this alliance between Sofia and me. It's this house too, because it's a house in which Sofia and I really rebuilt each other, on our side and together. It's in this city that we find peaceful,

a small residential city where we really rebuilt. All of this is very specific. So my happiness is specific, the one that I can see right now. Then I got a flash and I was like, what if that was the relief I felt when I left our house when everything was over, like life was crumbling, there was only misfortune, precisely.

And that's when I said to myself, when we are able to say, even if it's for an hour, even if it's for ten minutes, I'm happy. This happiness is necessarily on the same life line as the worst things you've ever experienced. And without these worst things, you're not disassociate what you're grateful for, everything that led to that. You know, I realized that, not only can the misfortune lead to happiness,

but my happiness is partly dependent on what hurt me the most, my misfortunes. So today, I apply it in my life to many, many, many things, even the bad news. In the job, we always have something that had to happen, and finally it doesn't happen. And life has not stopped showing that when you have bad news, it's a way for your destiny to protect you from something that looked super tempting at the time you were offered, but that had a price, that you weren't ready to pay, it's just that you didn't know yet. on

the I cross my arms and I tell myself that I'm going to wait. There's surely something at the end that I haven't understood yet. But being able to grasp moments of happiness, it changes a life. It changes a life. And it's hard, right? Yes, it's very, very hard. We're not always willing to see them, to feel them. That's exactly it. It's the lack of disposition. If we're not always willing to feel it, sometimes there are moments that... I know because the same kind of moment can be appreciated in two different ways, depending on your level of stress, depending on...

Because as I just talked about the end of the credits, then everyone is sleeping at home, everyone is asleep, it's a moment of happiness for me, but it only becomes from the moment I'm, as you just said, I'm willing to appreciate it because if I am in a moment of stress, at the same moment, it passes and I am completely blind. So yes, you have to be willing, you have to give yourself the tools to be willing at any time to appreciate this happiness. And it's these moments of fullness, as you said. Then to

return to this idea that we are in control of nothingness. It's when I tell myself that I am in control of nothingness that I am able to recognize these moments of happiness. It's because I tell myself, listen, if this moment is there, it's a gift. I am for nothing. I may not have deserved it, I don't know who decides, but it is there. I will grasp it. he's not there forever, but he's also part of the same line of life as what hurt me,

from what I found flat in my life. And then everything I found hard in my life has never been free. It has always served me a lesson. That too is another thing, it's that in misfortune, everything that makes me suffer, everything that made me suffer, I dig in there to... You know, it has to serve something in the end. It gives a meaning. I give meaning. I give meaning. Yeah. But you know, we're talking a lot now about full consciousness, even in medicine,

we're starting to tell people to go to full consciousness meditation because we realize how much it lowers the level of stress, the level of cortisol, so the level of inflammation. Physically, there is a major impact. And what you just said, after the credits, is like a moment of full awareness. Yes, absolutely. You are absolutely in your present moment. You are on arrive à capter ça, c'est sûr que ça change la perception de notre propre vie. Oui, puis je pense que plus on accumule ces instants-là, puis plus on peut en faire une sorte de... pas une habitude, tu sais, je veux dire, la vie se passe, puis il y a toujours un élément de stress. There's a disposition. That we can install with this awareness of the well-being that it brings. When we see that we are agitated, to calm down to seize these moments. Absolutely.

Sometimes when you're in a relationship, it often happens to me, but why are you doing this? We're living this. When Mario tells me or I tell Mario, to say, why are you doing this? We're living this. Like Mario says to me, or I say to Mario, to say, no, come sit down. This is where it happens. Sometimes we are able to see the other, so he's on something that doesn't matter. Or the children too, who will say,

but mom, it's enough, you've done enough, we're together, that's what you wanted, and what are you doing in the kitchen? I find that you sit down and say, OK, we're together, that's what you wanted. And then what do you do in the kitchen? I think you sit there and say, OK, it's true, you know, capture that. And at the same time, you also have to be able to get rid of guilt when you're not able to be in that present moment. I think there's also, in this perspective, we are... there are too many injunctions.

There are too many, we have to do this, we have to do that in our societies today. I feel a collective fatigue of all the things that we have to do. I think we have become perfectionists too. Yes, which in itself doesn't make much sense. You know, in the sense that everything has to... I'm sure there are a lot of people who will recognize themselves. You know, when you want to welcome someone. What do you want? It's creating a moment.

Let's say I invite you and Sofia, but before, it's all the injunction, the house. What does it look like? What are we going to eat? Is it going to be impressive? Do we have the right plates? All that, the cleaning, the stress that comes with it, all that to spend a moment with someone we want to spend a moment with. But there are some who will even stop themselves because it's too much trouble. It's too much trouble. And then you start, but I recognize myself when I say that. And I try to calm that down because I grew up in a house like that. When someone comes in, it's the bottom of the fight. You understand? For everything to be perfect, for the table to be ironed again.

So finally the guests arrive, you're exhausted. You're exhausted and you can't enjoy a good conversation and a glass of wine because you don't have any more juice. Yes, and I'm sorry, that's not really what I wanted to do, but I don't have time. And then she asks, no, I'm just going to eat with you. And to be able to calm that down. Where do you think it comes from? It comes from... I think it's like bringing someone into your privacy. We would want everything to be perfect and not true. Because it's not true that it's perfect in our country.

If we gave ourselves all that trouble, it wasn't like that before. But there's something... You come in, but you'll see a little of what we show outside. You know, there's a notion of everything's fine. And that's what we want to show in our house, everything's fine. You know, we don't live in magazines, we don't live in decoration shows. We live in houses where it drags on the counter, where the table will not be passed again, if there is a nap, you understand? Yes, because I think that disorder betrays part of our privacy. When things are messy, it's a big part of we're maybe afraid that it betrays a state, that it betrays, that it gives information too much about what's going on in the house.

But we neutralize. We neutralize so that the other person doesn't ask questions about what's really going on. Because when everything is tidy, then I think there's a part of that. I think there's a part of that, I think there is a part of... stupid stuff. There are neighborhoods in Quebec. I learned that when I arrived here because Rwanda was not necessarily a problem. But what we see first when we arrive at your place is the court, not the court, but the front of the house and the lawn. And I live in a neighborhood where the lawn is so important for people.

And every time I see them, and I say hi to all my neighbors, I love you so much, I love you with love. But I rarely saw someone who was doing his lawn with the pleasure of doing his lawn. There is a kind of stress, and I think it comes from the fact that because I've heard comments from someone who passes in front of someone's lawn and then like, it's hard. Or the opposite. The opposite is rarely true by the way.

It's rare that we say, oh, his lawn is so bad every time. Or when we say it, there is a little judgment because we try to say that he is trying to hide something. But in general, it's more like, oh, the lawn is hard. The beds, when I was in Ronday, the beds were flowers. They were flowers.

It's cute, it's yellow. But when I arrived here, they told me, you have to cut that. I always said to this game, I don't want to touch the beds. First, it's time I could put it elsewhere. But on top of that, for me, it's flowers. It's beautiful for you.

For me, it's beautiful. So this kind of letting go, which obviously can also make us less effective in productivity. But it also makes me want to think that because I have a status or because my lawn must be perfectly done every time and that my lawn must be perfect at every spring opening. Yes, maybe, but I don't want to impose myself on that. I always bring back what you just said about this stress, that it must be perfect. I have the luxury of taking the distance with this stress just because I grew up in a culture where there was not so much of that. So it's not even a production for me put it to light. I take a moment of incredible for absolutely nothing.

But when I go to people who are free, who are not in these injunctions, I tell myself that's... You don't envy them? Well, I tell myself that for me it's like a quest to get to that. Yes, in the sense I tell myself, what is this path they found to be at ease at this point? And I see it as a confidence. You arrive in their real intimacy. We see at times perhaps vulnerabilities, but it's them. They present themselves to me as they are. And I find that exceptional. It's so touching what you just said, because I think that today, more than ever,

we are ready to hear that, maybe because if I was talking about this fatigue, and I think that since the pandemic in the West, in any case, everyone was asking themselves questions that we have never asked before, especially our relationship with the art, and our relationship with performance, precisely. And what you just said, it really touched me, when you say to me, coming to someone and saying, it seems to me that they seem free to be a little bit all up, a little bit, you know, and it's at home, but it's also in the way we behave in life.

This freedom is enviable. And I've always wondered if it wasn't... if it wasn't precisely from a deep love for oneself. That is to say that... And I can talk about that because I think that if I'm able to tell myself that my grass... You can think what you want, you've gone through every corner and it's possible that... Go faster! Go faster!

It's possible that... I think it's because my parents... I don't know how they did it. I think it comes back to love for them. My parents did something. They managed to make me believe that I was... that I deserved love. Just because I was me.

Not because I was doing this or that. Because you were. But because I was me. And... with my notoriety, I had a little period where I almost lost it. I almost thought that the world was coming to me or to me because I had this status, or also because I had a slightly different life. But very quickly I realized that no, no, I could not have the job I have. I could be known by no one. I could be alone, not be a dad. And I think I would still have what it takes in me to tell myself,

I deserve this, love. And the fact of wanting to come back to that, keep his house perfect, I think there may be something in there where we say to ourselves, well... We're going to love a little more if we think we're perfect. We're going to love a little more if we find ourselves perfect. We will love a little more if we find that in my case it's clean. We will love. There is always this kind of uncertainty that makes you feel like you have to work for love.

We have to deserve this love. You just have to be. You just have to be. And often you can be surprised. I think that often you can be surprised. There is no effort. What you just said, it will resonate so much, to know that Marie-Claude Barrette is going to go to someone who is a little bit rough and who will envy that freedom. I think people need to hear that because we can't stand it anymore.

It's because if you go to someone who is perfect, you come back home, you find it perfect. You understand, it never ends. If we go to someone who is real, and we come back home, it's real. We are not comparing. No, but... But that's really a point... I think that when we judge, it's much who's going to answer the question. I understood something, it's a little bit like what kind of parent are you, what kind of father are you. What I think about it has absolutely no importance. It's the object of this love, or the subject of this love that has to talk about it.

But are you romantic, are you in nostalgia? Are you sentimental? I'm... First of all, I think I'm of radical loyalty. I mean, it makes my life easier, and it makes my choices easier. I have a rule, and it's in my relationship, and it's in my father's life too. If I have a professional application, a possibility, a professional opportunity, the first and only question I have to ask myself is will it complicate life for Sofia and for our children or not? And then, obviously, there is a spectrum, you know, we leave famille arrive en premier. Toujours. Toujours. Moi, juste avant la pandémie,

je commençais à me rendre compte, je me rendais compte déjà bien avant ça. En fait, je pense que c'est depuis que on a eu notre premier enfant, j'ai compris que ma vie d'artiste qui part en tournée, puis surtout en Europe, parce que une grande partie de mon public est là-bas, n'allait plus fonctionner. My life as an artist who goes on tour, and especially in Europe, because a large part of my audience is there,

was no longer going to work. It didn't work anymore. It's no longer possible to leave for two weeks, and then come back. With the time shift, there's a lot going on. With the time shift, but also with leaving my blank with all the burden of the parentality. First, it's too much for the other, and then I'm zero focused on myself. Because my head is always on the other side, and I always try to know. You were talking about the present moment, I realized I couldn't be in that moment.

And at that moment, you say to yourself, why? You know why? If the question is money, you can find other ways to make money than to do tour. In any case, I have this naivety to believe that. Because there are people who may say, go back down, it's not true for everyone.

There are artists for whom, especially today, with the new distribution models in music, if you don't do tour, you don't make cash. I can hear it. But I always have this naivety to tell myself, if you manage to put your finger on your real priority, you can always arrange yourself so that it works. The problem is that we have multiple priorities. We have plenty of great priorities. Maybe we can't prioritize everything at the same time. But once we have prioritized one, you always manage to find the way to arrange yourself. You have a lot of super priorities. Maybe we can't prioritize everything at the same time. But once you have one, you always find a way to get along.

I understood that. And I understood that, to come back to the type of lover I am, I think I am a reliable lover. You're sure? I am a reliable lover. And I know that Sofia can always count on me to hear each of her concerns without judging them. I mean, I'm not going to be... I'm doing... It sounds a bit big, but I'm doing one with her in the sense that my happiness goes through hers. If she's not good, I'm not good. There's a selfish part in it where I'm like... Okay, I'm really going to have to go against myself,

but I'm going to do it because it does you good. And in a very interesting way, every time I do that, I realize that it's also useful to me. To listen to a woman, I realize listened to by a woman you trust, always ends up being beneficial to you. Always. Always. Every time I... It's even for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... for... we can say, where everyone tries to have the right role. And then, I think all our chicanes bring us back to our childhood. Anyway, the chicanes we have in couple are chicanes we already had with our parents,

or that we couldn't have with our parents. It always comes back to the surface. And there's always a moment when I say to myself, okay, I'm fighting something, and I say to myself, OK, I'm beating up something. And I say to myself, OK, I'm going to buy peace. Thinking that I'm doing it for her. And it doesn't miss. Every time I think about myself,

I say, OK, you know what? I was wrong. My bad, I was really wrong. Thinking that I'm doing it for her. To buy peace? Not only to buy peace, but for her, I realize that at some point I end up touching something that has to do with me. I'm like, oh shit, it was me. On my side, I have something to look at, and I get a lot bigger, while at the base I thought I was buying peace.

That's it, so it brings you elsewhere. It brings me elsewhere, it brings me to reflections and an introspection that would have been impossible for me before this move to go to her. Are you fusion? Yes. Yes. A little too much sometimes it's too much for us. For example, I realized that when we're separated for too long, it's not good for us. Because we always end up wanting each other to not have been there. And it takes 24 hours, but you're like... When you see each other again, it's harder, the first 24 hours.

Yes, the first 24 hours, because we spend so much time together. And we're so lucky, we spend a lot of time together for a couple of modern era. Because we both have professional schedules that we choose, but I think we went to look for this freedom to choose our schedules too. Because we prioritized the couple and the family. So we spend a lot of time together, we walk together. So when there are periods where, for example, I just released a book, and I left like twice a week, with a gap of a week between the two, we are so used to it, we are not used to separating.

So when it happens, we come back and we're like, there's always a moment of floating, it's weird, we don't know how not to be in contact with the world. And it's always been like that, since we met. It's been 20 years now that we know each other. We have this kind of... It's going to be very esoteric, but... As if we had met in another life

there's a kind of family, and that's how I knew it was her because I felt like I knew her. She had very few secrets for me and I had very few for her, and that's so destabilizing. Meeting someone who sees through you, that's so not cool at first. But it was that, it was like ok, well it's useless to hide because she sees everything. And ok, we're going to jump in there and see what it was like, it's useless to hide because she sees everything. And then, okay, we'll throw ourselves in there and see what it gives. And it's always that. And at the same time, it's a great security.

It's a great security for the two of us because we are family to each other. And we are a little bit like the homeland to each other. And you know, I touch wood, everything can happen in life. A lot of things can happen in life that we haven't seen coming, and that can affect this bond and this fusion that we have. And we don't take it for granted. We're like, okay, it's fine, and we want to do a long way together, but let's be careful anyway.

But that's good. I think that when you take yourself for someone, it's... Yes, and I have a tendency, sometimes I have a tendency to take things for someone, because... Because there are areas in life where I feel like I know. But it's not an intellectual or cognitive knowledge, it's just

a knowledge in... It's in the... It's in the order of faith. There are areas in my life where I have faith. And maybe life will make me a mentor, but I always have faith that things will get better, for example. You know, Sofia, she's going to tell me, things don't always get better. I'm like, yes, in any case, the life I have, when I look at where I come from, I'm like things never stop getting better. You know, it's the life I have.

So I have this faith in life in general. But what I'm learning, and what Sophia is teaching me, and it's the paternity that teaches me too, it's this vigilance there too, to tell me, yes, but we never know. It may stop going well. And if it happens, what do we do? But when you think like that, you take even more advantage of the present moment. Yes, I think so. And for real, that's maybe partly what explains why I don't want a lot of it in the world.

In the world with a big M and people too. I'm not an asshole, you know, I said it earlier, it seems a little hard when I said that I was able to cut people from my life. For real, I feel like I do it also by love for life. That is to say that life deserves to be lived in all lightness. I get it. When I feel in myself a kind of bag butt, I owe myself to free myself from that.

And generally, people often wear better too. When you see a wall coming, a bag, it's sure that we're not the best person we can be. No, that's it. Yes, that's it. It's because there are fears, there are doubts, you know. And when you find another path, sometimes you go on crossroads to get back on the highway. Yes, yes, the small roads. Sometimes the small roads are super interesting. They are super interesting, well yes. It's often misfortune that brings us to go on the crossroads.

That's where the most beautiful schools are. On the small roads that have no connection and that often don't look very attractive. Because we always imagined the highway, and we always had the impression that we saw it. And now we're like, we're in the fields, but that's where we find the most beautiful surprises. And I think that when we manage to preserve our ability to marvel all throughout our lives, we can still marvel on this path of traversal, to see things we've never seen before. Yes, wonder, that's something that's so worth preserving from childhood.

I think it's such a shame that we lose this wonder, and we're all forced to lose it with age, unfortunately. But when you see children, it connects us to that somewhere. To believe without asking questions. Also, wonder, there's something about it. You're in that moment, wow, you let yourself go. It can also lead to vulnerability, wonder, in a certain way. Because you let yourself fall. You let yourself fall to absorb it.

I find that as you age, people around you age too, and it gets lost. There's more cynicism sometimes than wonder. Yes, yes, because we think that being cynical is protecting oneself, it's defending oneself from potential dangers. When you can keep that on our little paths of transgressions, sometimes we're not sure we'll be able to get back on the road. Yes, yes, yes, and as you say, it's marveling, it's a form of vulnerability. Children are more easily amazed, maybe because they... They don't protect themselves.

They don't protect themselves. They don't protect themselves. When a child feels the need to protect themselves, I find it so sad. Because amazement is a form of abandonment. It's a form of abandonment. The spring that comes, it's a stupid thing. And then, having the luxury of being able to appreciate the fact that it's been months since we've been able to do it in winter. And then all of a sudden, it starts to feel like spring.

And without being amazed, it's a kind of abandonment. You know, we give up a little bit to nature, and we get out of this desire to want to be in... In its shell. In its shell and to preserve, to say, OK, I don't want to marvel too much because we say, I don't want to jinx that. Well, no, we can have faith in life and say, it's a wonderful moment.

And I always take the example of spring, because until, I don't know when, maybe one day it will end, but it comes back often. It comes back every year, more or less. So we can say that it comes back, and that everything is cyclic. And it comes back to what we said about misfortune and happiness, misfortune passes. Misfortune itself, the memory of misfortune can stay for a long time, but the event itself goes away. It doesn't last forever. You said that very well. It's the memory and the moment. It's two things. build a parlay any game any period or stack multiple matchups onto one slip with same game parlay plus what's better than playoff hockey overtime playoff hockey get more from the game

with live overtime markets download fan do it today and get more playoff action with north america's number one sportsbook please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in ontario if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you please contact connects ontario 1866-5312600 to speak to an advisor free of charge this episode is brought to you by DZONE for the first time ever the 32 best soccer clubs from to speak to an advisor free of charge. The red level, you go to PG3. You will have a question to which you will have to answer. We just choose, you answer a one question. What is your relationship with death? Have you already reached your physical or psychological limits? Do you have regrets? I'll answer one. Your questions are good.

They are all good. Do you have regrets? What is your relationship with death? I'll take what is your relationship with death? Yeah, what is your relationship with death? First of all, I have two relationships with death. I have a relationship with my own death, and then I have the relationship with the death of those I love. The relationship with the death of those I love. The relationship with the death of those I love is complex in the sense that, as I have the memory of having already lost my family,

once in a while, this fear is invited. Let's say that if Sofia goes out with her boyfriend to have dinner. And I know it's in Montreal, and it takes about 35-40 minutes to get there. There's always a fraction of a second, I say to myself, I hope that on his return there will be no accidents. And I'm always like that. Same for my children.

When I leave, let's say if I go on a trip, I... This idea crosses me, it doesn't last long, but it crosses me, I hope nothing will happen. Whereas for my death, I never think about it. Like, I never... I've already talked to people who tell me, you never think about your death. I think about it, especially with age. There's always something less good in the body every decade than before. There's always a pain that comes from I don't know where.

And no, I don't maintain this relationship with my own death. Something very weird. Because it doesn't scare you? Because it doesn't scare me. I don't know if it doesn't scare me or because I've had the experience of seeing everything die around me and then me getting out of it. And that in one way or another, it tells me that the day it happens, it will happen. The only thing that

worries me sometimes is that I don't want to leave too soon. I want to leave when mine no longer need me. It's the only moment when this notion of my death to me is invited in my thoughts. But generally, no, I don't think... It's really like two ways of seeing death completely different. The possible death of mine, I often think about it. Mine, no. Not really.

And if we want to go a little further in the spiritual, I know, I think if... That's a belief, obviously, I have nothing to back that up, but... For me, it doesn't make sense that death is the end of everything. It's just something, I find it a little absurd to cross everything we cross, and then one day it's gone. Obviously, I can't prove, I don't know what's going on further, but I've lost enough people to be forced to think that they're gone, but they didn't leave. They are somewhere. Do you have signs? Do you feel them? I often ask this question because I find that it belongs to us so much, and sometimes we are afraid to talk about it to be judged, but it remains that it is personal. Yes, it is very personal, yes of course.

But there are several who have the impression of feeling the presence, at precise moments, to have signs that confirm that maybe there is more than yourself around yourself. I don't know if I can talk about signs, but it's a sensation, it's a feeling, sometimes it's just an impression. Sometimes it's very concrete, but sometimes I look at my children and I see smiles, laughs, postures, his way of walking. I'm like, weird, it's my father. I see him there.

So on the body of our children, our parents live. And beyond that, I carry them in me too. I know there are some, I start laughing like my father. I have my father's tics. Now you're older than your father. Yes, that's it. Now I'm older than my father. That's weird too. I'm older than my father. I'm older than my father, but in my head, it's always my father. You're still the child of your father.

I'm still the child of my father. Has it changed anything for you when you've crossed your age? Yes. Yes, yes. There are a lot of people who will say, 40 years, it changes a life, 50 years. For me, it was 43 years. For me, when I was 43 years old... Because my father died just before he was 43 years old. He died like two months before he was 43.

When I was 43, it did something to me. It did something to me because... It brought me back to the fact that my dad was a gentleman. But at 30, he was already a gentleman. And at 40, I didn't feel like a gentleman. I always had the impression that there was always a bit of youth in me. My dad, at 30, he was in a suit, and he was going to work with his girlfriend. He was a gentleman.

You know, it was... Me, even today, I have a sweatshirt and sneakers. I've never seen my father in sneakers. Never, never, never. Always wearing a suit, nothing. So at 43, I looked at myself, I looked at my life, and I said to myself, when he was 30, he was a man. At 43 I still don't feel like a man. Am I a decent dad? Am I a man? Am I even an adult? I don't understand. Because I don't feel like my dad.

In terms of what it means, as someone who is supposed to remember the needs of his family, a pillar of his family, someone on whom we can count, in my imagination, when my dad came back in my memories. He represented that. It was the archetype of the dad. Responsible, attached to the box, co-star. He goes to work in the morning and comes back in the evening. He is tired and then... But he did his job.

He did what he had to do. I don't do it like that at all. I bring my kids to school, I come back, then I can spend an hour talking with Sofia, then I don't have time, I have a kind of life of a weird bank robber. So at 43 years old, it hit me, I said to myself, hey, wait, I'm older than my father.

As long as I was younger than him, I was still his little boy. But now I'm older than him. I look at my life and I find myself... Obviously, it's not comparable, it's not the same culture, it's not the same profession, it's not the same life. But it struck me because I thought to myself, do I have to... Do I have to put another speed to be more adult than him? It really came to me, it came to me to look for myself. And besides, it gave made me want to write.

It made me want to write my autobiography, which was my first book. It was released in 2016, I was 39 years old, and I felt the quarantine coming. And I always anticipated that moment. My 43 years old were always... I knew it was a time line. It's a time line. It's a time line. It's a time line.

So it's the same as Paris. When my boy was 17, it made me feel something. Because it's the age when I lost mine. Or when I had to take control. So yes, it's a long answer to say that the 43 years old are older than my father, it confronted me with a lot of thoughts about myself. And maybe if you had the chance to talk to your father, maybe he didn't feel like the man he would have wanted to be at 43. I know today, Marie-Claude, I know today, even if he doesn't talk about it, but since I have some distance, and since I have...

You carry him. I carry him, and also since I'm older than him, I can think of him in another way than just my father. And especially when I make him talk in my book, the melody of the pardon, I make him talk a lot, you know, we have a lot of conversations, and I am able to remember aspects of his personality, which tell me today that he was also a great child. That he was also a great child who played with the Lord. He played with the Lord. We never stop being the child we were.

And above all, I think that... Beyond the clothes. Beyond the clothes, yes. Because I'm able to remember that, for example, if I make music today, it's thanks to him. I think he's a famous artist. He's an engineer, but he's a famous artist. And the love he had for music, it was incredible.

He made me listen, he could spend hours listening to classical music, listening to Beethoven's Pastoral, and then he would dissect my movements. He was passionate. I think it's one of the moments when I saw him most passionate. And when I turned around, I said to myself, yes, he was a great kid. And he was someone who was going into projects that seemed to make no sense to others, but which were important to him. He was an electrical engineer, so he was the first person I ever heard say, yes, electrification.

Energy was obsessed with the question of energy. It was something else he was passionate about. question de l'énergie. C'est comme, c'était l'autre chose qui le passionnait. Mais je me rappelle de lui comme, là aujourd'hui je me donne cette liberté là, je me donne ce luxe là. Parce que quand t'as 12, 13, 14 ans, 15 ans, surtout en Afrique le papa c'est le papa. C'est l'autorité. C'est l'autorité suprême. Moi mon père il m'a jamais vraiment grondé, il a juste à me regarder. Il avait just looked at me and I was like, OK. Obviously, it's not complicated to explain that today I'm trying to do the same thing with my children, that it works zero. My dad is tight. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, parents, we're like, what do we do with this new way of being a parent? But we have to bend to new rules, you know.

But my dad, today, I take the liberty of seeing the human he was with all his flaws, with... And the child, the child he was, and then all the rest was hidden. Yes, yes. Because there were responsibilities. Yes, yes, that's it. He had responsibilities. But I know today that if he had been able, he wouldn't have had these responsibilities. It's comforting to see. Yes, yes, it's comforting because I love my father.

I think I love him even more today than when he was alive, obviously, because I see the flaws. And because I'm able to see these flaws, I'm able to accept mine. Because I've kept a lot of them, a lot of them, of these flaws. Because you know, we don't educate our children with what they learn, we educate them more with who we are. They observe us, they imitate us, they are often in imitation. And then I know that my father educated me more by who he was. He left me flaws, but he also left me a lot of faith in life,

and then naivety, and precisely this way of staying a child for a long time. He transmitted that to me too. And the passions? And the passions, music. It's important to have, without your passion for music, we can't do it without it, but maybe the pre-genocide would have been different. Completely different. What he left you as a passion, it's an incredible legacy, it allowed you to understand that music... He left me a prescription.

Yes, that's what I'm talking about. He left me a nice prescription to heal and to leave this... yes, this healing. He left me that. And he also left me what I was talking about, the fact that I was dead, but that it gave me the freedom to do what I wanted to do. He left me that too, because I saw my father go on projects that seemed risky or that were not accepted by his environment. And he left me that freedom too. Introducing TurboTax Business, a brand new way to file your own T2 return, all while getting help from an expert who actually knows small businesses.

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Heros is accompanied. Heros. Heros. So, it's the pink level. At that point, you're going to give me four. You see, he's just going to leave one on the table. Perfect.

You're going to answer only one question. Perfect. What role does emotional intimacy play in your relationship with your lover? Are you comfortable in the sphere of intimacy? Is it easy for you to express your desires within the couple? How has your sexual life evolved over time? So, your choice. This one, he spoke to me right away. How has your sexual life evolved over time? That one spoke to me right away.

What role does emotional intimacy play in the relationship with your lover? I find it so good and so important, especially in the context of a couple, between two people who age together. I have this chance to compare different cultures because I lived in two cultures, in this case, which are very, very different. It's a privilege to hear you talk about different cultures, or if we learn. Yes, yes, I find that interesting. And I always talk about the relationship with the body, for example. I always say that when I arrived in Quebec, I understood that we could be big. Because the relationship with the body, when I was young in Rwanda, since we thought it was beautiful, had nothing to do with the criteria I found here.

And that's when I thought to myself, there is no universal value, it doesn't exist. Everything is construction, and then everything. So it allows me to compare things. To come back to that, I find that in the West, the West is a hypersexualized society, compared to African culture for example. Of course, there are pros and cons for both. But I think that the fact that I grew up in a Rwandese culture where sex was of the order of the sacred in the sense that it was something

that protected itself and that it was not shared. Rendezvous are very discreet people in their intimacy. Obviously, in a context of humor, you know, we laugh among friends, and then there are jokes about sex that could come out. And then even, you know, it was like, you had to have your joke be good, you know, because you were always at the limit of the vulgarity, and to be judged, you know. And I think it's, it's the good thing about it is that,

contrary to what I'm seeing here, is that the objectification of sex the objectification of sex is a brake, I think, maybe a brake in the development of a human being. That is to say that, first of all, everyone evolves sexually at their own pace. I think there is an age below which there is no relation to sexualizing anything. And I have the impression that in Western societies, everything has become sex. In music, there is something that bothers me deeply, especially American music. It is the over-sexualization of all artists, or almost,

female, especially in certain genres. As if the audacity in everything that is sex genre, comme si l'audace dans tout ce qui est sexe, une grande liberté d'en parler, puis de le montrer, puis de s'exposer, était incarné un petit peu la liberté absolue. Ça c'est comme, je peux montrer tout nu, c'est une forme de revendiquer, c'est une It's a form of claiming, it's a great form of claim for freedom. As if... We talk a lot about sexual education among children, and the fact that this education is done more outside of intimate spheres, and outside of the family, it's done outside, on networks,

often in contexts that have nothing to do with reality. And I think that, to come back to emotional intimacy, when you over-sexualize everything, emotional intimacy takes a hit. I think that, in a certain age when you're young, it makes sense. You know, it's the body that speaks, then you have hormones on the ceiling, then... It makes a lot of sense. Except that I still think there's a lot too much pressure on the couple.

We were talking about performance, precisely. Performance goes up to the bed. I think that in the West, people go talking about two things, sex and money. And we don't talk enough about the importance of emotional intimacy, precisely. That's why I'm trying to talk about it, because I realize that... I hear a lot of things in the order of... I'm doing a translation of what I'm hearing, but you'll understand what I'm going to say. As if the old couple is imputed with something. Because sex is no longer the same. So you're talking about physical sex. Physical sex, exactly. And when we say that, we don't say that emotional intimacy

comes not only to compensate, but comes all of a sudden to relativize everything that was sexual, which is obviously in the order of physical and then of violence, especially in men, you know, but in women too. It's really in's really about performance. Emotional intimacy, I think, is much more important than all other intimities. For the one and only reason that probably is the most difficult thing to say elsewhere. When I emotionally put myself naked in front of you for a long period of time,

it's an investment that you can't make elsewhere. When I put myself naked emotionally in front of you, you know all my faults, my traumas, my mistakes, all the things I'm ashamed of, and that I made this investment in you and in a trust that I gave you. But it's an in-nui wealth. And of course the body is important, and of course the emotional intimacy is important. Very important even. But the fact that we put sex above everything,

but in the shade of the emotional intimacy that I find, is still much more realistic with age than sexual intimacy. And at what age would you have been able to tell me that? At what age would you have been able to tell me what you were just telling me? That's an excellent question. Excellent question. I think that... I was talking about putting yourself in danger. The first sexual relations are always in youth,

always a little bit weird and a little bit missing. Because we have never been naked of our own boss in front of anyone. Sometimes we are kids, we are naked, we don't even know what anidity is. We take a shower and then, quietly, not quickly, we start to say, no, I want to close the door. I don't want my brother or my sister, or my parents to see me taking a shower. But it stays in that order. It's anidity, we start to understand what it means,

since it's exposed to us. Then, at some point, one day, we share something with someone. It's always a bit weird. Because we are pushed by a force, we know it's done, and we have the taste to do it, but we don't know how, and it's very strange. Then, at some point, we realize that it's a good part of what keeps the flame, and what keeps the interest in the other. But the day we can solve another one,

where there is no desire, for example, or when we are young, we stop wanting one person and then we want another. It's not that serious. I don't have the impression that when I was young, and that I had a sexual partner, and that for one reason or another we stopped seeing each other, and then two months later I met someone else, I didn't have the impression of having left a piece of me to someone,

and I had to ask myself what I had kept to give it to someone else. I didn't feel like I was imputed with something. I didn't feel like I left something behind me. It was the end of a story. It was the end of a story. The things I said about me and Sofia, very very very early in our relationship, I will never say it to anyone. So emotional intimacy is quickly invited in your relationship?

Very very very very very quickly in our relationship, and in both directions. We were talking about vulnerability, and the questions of that, when we talk about emotional intimacy. That is something very precious, which has an advantage, there is no limit in time to have it, to have access to it. I mean, there are people who have a crazy sexual life at 80, but nature generally wants it to go down. There are exceptions. There are exceptions. But yes. But it's good exceptions. Generally, it's not the same 20-year-old fuga that we have at 60 years old.

Often we're going to talk about tenderness. Tenderness, affection, and I hear people older than me, and it makes sense for me. The real danger, the real gift of ourselves that we make, is the one we put ourselves emotionally. I think that's the real risk we take. And that's where we risk losing our feathers. Or really growing back. to lose feathers, or to really come back and grow. And maybe

maybe maybe that's also what can keep the couple together longer. Because I think that often I know a lot of couples that separate because they are not enough given of themselves.

They have always kept a part a little secret in them that they have never shared with the other, which gives them the right and the possibility to say, well, it doesn't work anymore, I want another one or I want another one. Because desire can be easily transferable in the end. And generally when we keep a small part of ourselves, we drag it with us and we can bring it to anyone, always preserving it. Once that part is open to one person, good luck to find it. And at the same time, I think that my the reasons why I stay enthusiastic, confident, positive, and this fusion I was talking about, is obviously a big part of it that goes through the body, that's for sure.

But there is a very important part that goes through the fact that I gave her the most intimate part of me, which is emotional. And that it was in exchange, that she did the same thing. And that we say to ourselves, you know what, we've seen each other. And it's been a long time since we've seen each other. And thank you. Thank you, the universe, that we met. And we took that risk, because it's a big risk to take.

It's a link-oriented attachment. It's very secure because the harder it is, the more you feel accepted by the other. So what you said about yourself, that you wouldn't dare to tell anyone, all of a sudden you have someone who accepts you. And who stays there. And who stays there. You stay there despite all that? Okay. But it's secure. It's super secure.

Because it puts you in confidence. Of course. And that's where it becomes precious. But it's reassuring. It's super reassuring. Because it puts you in confidence. And that's when it becomes precious. Yes, of course. And that's when we also manage to open up to others. I'm much more open to others since I opened up to Sofia. I was much more locked up. I was much more...

much less loving. In general. She unlocked, she unlocked... You had her in you? Yes, yes, I had her in me, but I protected her. But that's it, she was going to unlock, the locks you had in fact. Absolutely, and one for the other. But with what you lived through when you were young, it's sure sure that you have protective mechanisms afterwards. Yes, yes, yes, very, very strong.

It's big, well, yes, that's it. Few people have experienced a test like yours, so it's hard to imagine the defense mechanisms, but it took a lot of love. It took a lot of love. To allow you to see what was behind each of these mechanisms. Oh, yes, it takes a lot of love. We were talking about therapy, and the research itself, and all that. It takes a big layer of love for what you say,

well, I may have fallen, but no matter how high I am, I'm going to have a landing that's more or less correct. And it goes in both directions. She very quickly understood that it was going in the other direction too. That she could count on me too to let herself fall because she also had grudges on certain things. But this exchange, I give you my emotional intimacy and you give me yours. I think it guarantees more the success in a relationship than the rest. Well, it's because it's beautiful in a relationship. You have the two people, you have the middle of the couple, the intersection.

And when this intersection is, there are a lot in common. It's like the heart of what you are, you share it's your intersection, that's what you've built together. Emotional intimacy doesn't happen in two days. No, no. And it's maintained. I mean, sometimes, they go to songs... No, Jean-Pierre Ferland said, you know, love is work. That's what he said. Yes, yes, yes, love is work. Yes, love is work, but I find that emotional intimacy, there is like a part of it of vigilance, of not creating gray areas through that.

But you know, when you want to invest, to keep that area alive. Yes, absolutely. There is no fatigue that sett sets in front of that. Yes, and it's funny because it's as much work as it's letting go. You have to find that balance, and it's never easy. And when the kids arrive, there's a whole other dimension that adds to that. But then there are people who don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Before I didn't think about it, but I know it. There are people who are very good solo or solo. It meets their needs to be a man, not to be waiting for someone.

That's it. And you, you had the couple, you fit. Yes. Yes. Question, Optoraiso. What would the young Cornelius think of the man you've become? That's a good question. You know what?

I want to say, and that's not what we usually say. But I think he would say... I always knew you were going to be there. Yeah, I think he would say that. I think he would say that. I think as far as I remember, the little boy, he always had faith in life. You know, he always had... It's hard to identify the source of this kind of faith.

I think it's my parents. I think it's my parents. They loved me deeply and I feel it. It's been more than 30 years since they've been away and I feel it. They never told me I love you because it's not in the culture at all. My father never told me I love you. I tell my son every day before he goes to bed, or I tell my daughter three times a day.

It was another culture, another generation. And when I left Louranda, and I went to settle down with the couple who became my adoptive family, Jean-Paul and Marianne, who were very close to my father. They told me, they talked so much about you. And I was like, ok, that makes sense. He had a kind of piety, I don't say it to my son, but he talked about me all the time.

Then he told me, my mother, they told me, your mother was writing letters to us. Because we were very close friends, but we didn't have the chance to see each other often. There was no email, no FaceTime, nothing like that. So we were writing letters at the time, to give each other news. And she still had the letters. Marianne, my adoptive mother, she still had the letters. Then she gave them to me me and I read them. And I was reading... in my mother's words...

and I wasn't surprised. Even though she had never told me that. To me. So that was telling me that what still lives in me, since I felt something that we can make feel without saying it. We can love someone without telling them, as we can't love someone when we tell him all the time. And that's a big lesson for me, because especially for parents who ask themselves how do we do to arm our children for life? I know that it reassures me, it reassures the dad in me, when we are always worried about our children, we wonder if we make the right decisions,

we wonder if we orient them too much or not enough. And with what I've just said, I tell myself that the best tool I can give to my children is to make them feel loved. The problem with that is that it's beyond words. It's in what you feel. Because my parents have really managed to fill me with that. To fill me with that love. And it was confirmed by the letters they wrote. Did you feel good when it was confirmed? Yes, so much, so much. It did me a lot of good.

Because you know, faith is something fragile, you know. I can have faith in everything I want, then feel loved, then the impression that I am always loved, then what I was saying. After all that I've been through, I'm still capable feel loved, and I feel like I'm always loved. And then, after everything I've been through, I'm still capable of love. So that means that... But it can break easily, it can... It can weaken. But reading those letters,

and every time Marianne tells me, your dad, every time he comes, he'd tell me about his son, his son was born, and he found him brilliant, and... I'm like, you know what, he never told me. But I feel it, it makes sense.

I think that's the... You know, when I said earlier, it's like... I've always had the impression that... that I deserved to be loved, no matter what. My status, no matter what I do. Just because I am, that's it. That's what gave me. But that's the difference in your life. That's the whole difference in my life.

It's the whole difference in saying, I deserve that. Yes, I deserve that. That's the thing. I deserve that. I don't want more than one, but I don't want less than one. No. But I deserve something. Yes, because after what you've been through, so many other things could have happened. A lot, a lot of things. And you know, even there, you know, I was often given as an example of resilience, and it always bothered me because when I was given as an example of resilience, we didn't talk about my parents, we talked about myself, as if I was...

I had the ability and the capacity to produce resilience in myself. But it's my parents. And I'm going to go further. I don't know what their parents gave them so that they can pass it on to me, because there's that too. We're never our own man or our own woman. We're always descendants of something we didn't choose. Whether it's good or bad. But I... Often people ask me, what are you proud of? I'm really proud of nothing.

I'm proud of nothing. I don't want to... But your son, for example, you said he's 15 now? Yes, he's 15. Does he was 15 years old now? Yes, he's 15 years old. Does he understand where you're from? Yes, yes, he understands where I'm from. I inherited a little bit of the same sobriety as my father. So yes, he was very, very young. He asked me questions about where his grandpa put me on your side,

so I explained to him in the big lines, without being too graphic. And very quickly he understood that, and our daughter too, it's still a space, still fragile, but still sensitive. It's still a sensitive sensitive in my life. I know that we will reach a time when we will be able to have very deep exchanges in relation to that. I think I also write books, this is my second one, I write an autobiography, I write this most recent book, La Mélodie Pardon, partly so that while waiting for me to find the courage and openness to speak very openly to my children, as I have been speaking to Sophia since we've known each other, that they have something to read if they have the taste. And they will be able to discover their dad in a certain way.

And when they are old enough to talk about it more seriously, well, we will talk about it. The transmission too, it's something that I think everyone should do at their own pace. And my children respect mine, I think. It's a bit like your mother's letter. Yes, yes, yes. She never told you? She never told me, but I ended up having the confirmation after having felt it all my life. I've always felt it. I've always felt this kind of love, very, very, very strong, from my two parents. Very, very, very, very strong love for my two parents.

Very, very, very, very strong. And what did your mother do to you? We were talking about vigilance earlier, about not taking anything for granted. That's my mom. That's my mother. Feet on the ground. That's my mom. My father left me madness madness and the dream.

And you know, you have the right to everything. You have the right to everything. Everything you want, you desire, you can authorize it. At least you can authorize the quest. You know, nothing is guaranteed. But you can at least authorize the quest of... I hear a call, go. That's my dad.

He gave me that. That kind of confidence and naivety. Because it's a form of naivety. You know, even a form of madness. To think that... Simply because you have an idea in your head, and it's worth being pursued. It's a bit crazy.

But it happened. But it's really my problem, it's that when I thought of something. But it happened. It happened. But it's not my problem. When I thought of something, it happened. It happened. I have trouble thinking otherwise. But once you have a family, once you have things to protect, a couple, children, you are responsible, you are co-responsible,

from that moment on, mom arrived very quickly. In fact, from the meeting with Sofia, mom arrived. It's like, tension, tension, son, because there's not only the dream, and there's not only the madness, there's also the responsibility, the responsibilities that come with it. And that was my mom. My mom, it was her who kept the fort at home.

Mom, it was her who kept the finances, and who kept the... my dad, he had... I think he had a part of genius in him. He was able to invent things. He was an incredible visionary. He always managed to earn his living very well, even though he was financially zero responsible.

And it was my mother who managed it. And you're like, OK, you have the easy money, the way to speak. But I'm here to make sure it stays, for those who have a little make sure that it stays, for those who have a little bit of that that remains, you leave with your weird ideas. So I kept those two there. I kept those two there. Where does the importance of having parents who are not the same come from? Parents who complement each other, it makes children, it can make children

balanced, I think. So, to the question, what would the young Cornelius think of the man you've become? Would he be proud? Would he be proud? I don't know. I don't know if he would be proud. I don't think he would be surprised, actually. Because you've made a lot of progress. Yes, I've made a lot of progress, but I think that this kid... He knew that life was beautiful. He knew that life was beautiful.

For a long time, at least. I don't know what's going to happen. The world is so weird right now. It feels like we're avoiding the planet's catastrophe every day, every time we watch the the news or we look at the networks. But the little boy in me always thought that there was beauty waiting for him. Thank you for your sharing, Corneille. Thank you. There was a lot of beauty. You know, you do good to hear too. Ah, thank you. And you do good with that. You do good at giving room to this kind of exchange. And it's missing cruelly. I think people need to understand that, to a certain extent,

we all go through the same things, we all have things that make us suffer, and we're not alone. And it's by talking that we realize that we're not alone. That's what hurts the most, to think that we are opening up to ourselves. Absolutely. Thank you very much. Thank you, Marie-Claude. That was very, very cool. Thank you to everyone for being there.

See you at the next podcast. Bye bye. This episode was presented by Karine Jonquard, the reference in the matter of care for the skin in Quebec, and by the Marie-Claude, which, a space dedicated to the best-being. Table Tennis Open Your Game, Original Edition and Couples Edition are available everywhere in stores and on Randolph.ca