Pablo Torre Finds Out - "Parenting First Take" (and the Super Bowl Halftime Stakes) with Mina Kimes

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

In a belated 40th birthday link-up, our favorite geriatric millennial stops by to restore your faith in humanity with truck content from her toddler bro, the definition of a sports parent, the hardest part about growing up right now and the best thing about Bad Bunny playing the only big room left in America. Plus: encountering a loose Lucky Charm, borrowing Neighbor Jim's shrink ray, "Tickle Monster (Pablo's Version)," ripping off Jim Carrey... and rippin' some salt.• Subscribe to "The Mina Kimes Show featuring Lenny" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. You are actively crying right now, right after this ad. I can't remember who said it, but someone said that I have an older sister vibe with you, which I first took as a compliment, but then I don't like being thought of as older than you. I'm like two weeks older than you. Yes. I say all the time on the record that I've looked up to you as an older journalist for so much of my

career. Happy birthday belatedly to my birthday brother. Speaking of our familial relationship. That's pretty wild. Libra gang. Levergang. I induced, as you know, because I was like, I got to have him on Pablo's birthday. The other reason was that he was trending gigantic. Remains gigantic. Still gigantic. What's the toddler combine? What are his numbers look like? I think, so we're about to have the two, we haven't had the two-year-old appointment, but you get the percentile. I'm pretty sure he's still nine. 90th weight, size is above average. He's definitely leaning out a little bit, though, now that he runs around. But he's still very large.

You're disappointed. I like the idea of having an extremely large son. He doesn't know his own strength, though. Like, sometimes he'll accidentally push me, and I'm like, ow. Yeah, I like, I just have Nino pushing a sled, you know. Like a blocking sled? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very physical.

physical stuff. He goes to like baby gym. Did Violet ever do like the little? Do they have that in New York? My gym? We did ninja class. Yeah. Various just like, yeah, padded floors that you can just like bounce off of. On one hand you're like this is like equinox money

for someone to just like sit on the floor with the children roll around. But on the other hand like they do like balance beams and it's a lot of ball pits. Yeah. Violet showed up one day or at least as I experienced it, showed up one day at home, and was just doing like forward rolls.

It was like, grumputed series of forward roles. I was like, holy shit. Yeah. That's a real, did she want to do gymnastics? She did, she playing sports? She's in soccer. How's that going? She is one of the most methodical and deliberate, but slow dribblers. Like the videos are of her just like making sure she is perfectly nudging this along, but she is the slowest, And most careful of all of the, yeah, prospects in that class. Did you play soccer growing up? I played through grade school. Just through grade school.

The Manhattan kickers. Did you, you stuck with basketball till high... In grade school. I tapped out. Did you play any sports after grade school? No. I mean, wait. Yes.

Varsity Lincoln Douglas debate. Oh, my God. Do you now want to brag about your high school soccer career? No. I just can't believe this has never come up as you were a sports writer that you abandoned sports after elementary school. People just looked at me in there like, this guy must

have the credibility to talk about the greatest athletes in the world. They didn't really ask follow-ups. Wow. You played varsity soccer. I did, and I played club soccer through high school as well. So I played a lot of soccer, and it took up a lot of time and energy,

and that is something I'm not quite looking forward to, like the Ubering aspect of being. a sports parent where you're just driving them places constantly, it sounds like. But it was a big part of my upbringing and important. I think for girls playing team sports is so valuable. Yeah. I mean, look, right now, Violet is so young that it's all obviously co-ed. But when she's in games and you're on the sidelines and you start having opinions about the tactics, that's when you become a sports player. I can't wait for that. So, by the way, relatedly, what I'm realizing is like a, uh, a, uh,

sports parent to be, is that also a lot of these cliches are true. Like parenting, my feelings, my circuitry being activated. Violet, who started kindergarten, now last month of temper, there was a point where we, Liz and I brought her to the curb and put her on the yellow school bus. And there's a point at which she's like waving out the window of this yellow school bus, like receding across the horizon line and I'm like... Crying. Yeah, I'm like... Of course.

Like, I'm just that. I'm that guy. I'm that dad now. Everybody's that dad. But then you go to like the sports side of it and you're like, ah, yes, valuable lessons about teamwork. Right. And what it means to stand up for yourself and how to assert yourself in mixed

gender environments. And I'm like, oh yeah, this is also real. There's a reason why all the cliches about parenting end up It's a pretty universal experience. The same feelings and concerns are activated for everybody. Give me a non-parenting cliche that you believe in that you think people should be aware of. Like a take. Like a hot take, potentially.

You want a take? We're doing parenting first take. Oh, oh. I mean, this one is increasingly the older my kid gets, the more. And maybe this is a cliche, so maybe it's a bad. answer but I believe I'm meeting him more than shaping him yeah yeah he just is who he is and I get the once in a life I'm experience of watching that become reality but it's for all the time I spend worrying about the tiny little things what if we don't do this language thing what

if he starts preschool ultimately he just kind of is who he is yeah we are we discover we find out more than we are able to like inculcate we can't all be everybody I think I think part of all the sports parenting stuff is that you want to be like Richard Williams or Earl Woods or whatever. And it's less that and more like figuring out, oh, this is who I'm living with. Yeah. And that's going to be a big, like, he might not want to play sports. Right now he looks so physical and active and he loves tumbling and he's like just a boy in every, like just such a boy. I mean, my son is just such a little bro. What does that mean when you're two?

I can tell you what it means. I got him a, his little, he's part of this toddler crew, and I got him this little stroller. They all had, because they were all fighting over another kid's show. It's clearly a hot item on the playground. So I got him a little one from Target. And the next day, I saw him with the stroller, and he turned around and he had put a dump truck in the stroller.

And he was pushing around the truck in the stroller. Instead of like a baby doll. Yes, instead of a baby doll. Because that was his most prize position. I feel like that pretty clearly illustrates what a little bro. Dump truck and big bus. Weren't his first words, but they were maybe his first compound words. Big bus, dump truck, forklift.

Are you not exposed to any of this because you have a little girl, like the little boy universe? Like, for example, he's so many books about trucks. It's crazy. Yeah. The most popular kids, like, just Good Night Construction Site, Trash Truck. There's so much content around trucks. I like that we are absolutely raising our children, again, or allowing our children to just express the most traditional gender roles. Allowing is the key, yeah.

I thought that Violet was into construction stuff. As a kid. As a kid. And she is, but then compared to my nephew, Miguel, who is younger and, like, there is an amusement park. Of trucks? It's like sit in a tractor. If a trash truck, especially one that makes noises, drives by, my son, it'll be like full bugs bunny eyes, hard eyes, everything stops. Pepe LeBue turns around.

We have to sit here. We have to watch it. We have to comment on it. And then he, like, can't tear his eyes away from it. He thinks it's the best thing in the world. I'm looking up. Okay. This is what it is.

Diggerland. Oh my God, that sounds like his dream. Berlin Township, New Jersey. The one and only construction theme and water park in the U.S. Look at the shit. Hold on. So she's just not into this stuff anymore? She is, but it's just like she's wearing princess stuff. And I'm like just.

But like look, there's like. Crane truck, excavator, digger. The other thing about these truck-based books is they're all like cinematic universes. Do you ever go to, we just go to Barnes & Noam and One, like, hang out. So you go to the kids section now, it really is like all content. Like, there's obviously a lot of original and new ones. But if there's a hit, like Good Night Construction Site, then there's like 20 spinoffs. Like, Good Night Construction Site, Valentine's Day edition.

Because every single one of these popular books has a full spin-off series, and you have to get them all. Has Nino gotten a whiff of, like, words he shouldn't say and does he know about them? Yeah, there's a few, yeah. What are the words that? It's a lot of scatological stuff. It's a, I mean, it is saying poop to violet is like the funniest. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, my brother-in-law got him a fart machine that makes different signs of farts. And he is just at the age where he understands it's funny now because he sees people's reactions. He's starting to develop like humor now, right, and starting to see people's reactions. By the way, do you think people enjoy hearing us talk about our kids or, because I, I sometimes, realize that if people don't have kids, I really try to remember they do not want to hear about your kids. I feel like that's a risk I'm willing to take. It's not here. Let's talk about our kids.

My take, my last take in the kids section of today's programming is like, it's okay to not throw a birthday party. Ooh, that's a hot take. Because what I've learned is that every kid needs to invite every other kid. It's a whole thing. and there are a zillion of them every weekend. And I just think we can not do that. You want to opt out? I'm sure your five-year-old daughter

would be totally cool with not having a birthday party while everyone else in her class does. A tough way for Violet to find out that we're not throwing her a birthday party at Diggerland. So Nino just had a birthday party. It was Elmo-themed. It was what-themed? Elmo-themed.

Elmo-themed, great. Yes, yeah. So I was just asking around like, what kind of stuff do I have to get? And all my parent friends were like, you got to get this, this, this, this. So what I didn't account for was it was Nino's first exposure to juice, apple juice, in particular. He's never had, like, pure, uncut apple juice. And at this party, so it was in a little play area. So the kids were all penned in, which was the kind of most important thing at this age.

And every time I turned around, he would be like, it was like watching, like the beginning of like Requiem for a dream. And I swear to God, that party was two weeks ago. I wake up, I take him down to get his breakfast, and he looks at me, and he goes, apple juice. And I'm like, we don't have that. And he gets so mad. And it's been two weeks, and he's still thinking about the high of drinking. He drank like four apple juices at his birthday.

Can you blame him? I mean, it's good. You know, this is like what happens when your parents are super strict. the strictest parents raised the most uncontrollable children. I wasn't allowed to eat sweets growing up. At all? No, we were, but not like, we ate a lot of fruit. I didn't have, like, junkie cereals.

So when I would go to, like, my friend's houses, like... Lucky charms? Holy shit. Encountering a loose charm? Damn. Did you ever eat in college the charms out of the lucky charms? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to college and I was a menace with the bad-free foods. In the cafeteria.

It was like once you discover that they just sell stuff in an Oreo. Oh, my God. Just stuff. I also, like, gained a lot of weight because I stopped playing soccer, like, not a lot of weight, but, like, I didn't realize that it turns out when you don't work out five hours a day, you can't have Taco Bell four times a day. It took me a while to learn that list. But no, I'm not even that's trick with Nino's food.

It's just literally, it's funny because he's had, like, cake and cookies, and it's nothing has hit like apple juice has hit his system. Nothing. You got to get that apple juice live read on your show. I know. Sponsor me. He saw me drinking a beer and thought it was apple juice and got mad the other day. He was like, Mama Apple Juice? I'm like, this isn't Apple Juice. It's a special mama drink. Special Mama drink. The subtext of all of this is that both of us are now 40 years old. I know. I hate it. I know. You're wrapping yourself in a very A luxurious sweater.

Thanks. Very soft. Looks very comfy. If you're like me, which I think you are to a degree, you're not trying to think a lot about that. Like mortality? Mortality, like what is it? Look, I had a great birthday. I choose not to dwell so much on like...

Yeah. What does this mean? What does this mean? Yeah. I don't know. Did it hit you? Not so much in, like, I'm taking stock of my life and what I'm doing with it. More so, it does feel like, wow, I'm in a really different phase of my life.

But I would say a lot more of that is having, because my son's birthday is two weeks after mine. And I think it was funny for me to, like, have his birthday. but even ahead of my birthday, which is like supposed to be this big momentous birthday, I was thinking much more about his birthday and planning it and what that means. And I suppose that's been such an overwhelming change in my life and how I see the world and think about things and all of that,

that it's kind of subsumed me and my own personal milestones, does that make sense? Yeah, I mean, it's a long way of saying, yes, I too do not choose. engage with what this means for me personally. Yeah. It's the most conventional dividing line of we were young, now we are not. And I think both of us benefited and, in my case at least, like, you know, took pride in the

fact that look at everything that I'm up to and I'm not even this age yet. And now I am that age now. Yeah. And I feel very proud and this is not a woe is me in any way. It's just, it's just, I think everybody feels like they're still. young is my hypothesis. Like we're not unique in that. Yeah.

But, you know, it's undeniable that we are not. You know what? I think I feel now that I think is very much like, well, I'm a Jerry Edge millennial and I'm 40. And the biggest difference between me is I, and I don't think this was true 10 years ago when I was 30 thinking about people in their 20s. Maybe some of this is due to having a kid, but like I worry a lot more for people who are younger than me. and I don't envy them.

And I think it's a really hard time to be in your 20s. It's a really hard time to be growing up. And I don't think I felt that way when I was like when I turned 30. But I don't think that's about me and my age so much as it is like the world and the state of things. So that's a fair point. So your kid to kind of bring this full circle is three years older than mine. Yeah. What is something that I have to look forward to?

in the next three years as we now turn two. It's the greatest, oh, God, to be the most cliche person. Like, still to me, the feeling I chase the most like a drug. Apple juice. Your personal apple juice. Sweet, sweet juice. It's just Violet laughing. Does she still laugh at your jokes?

But what's happening is that she is laughing. laughing less on command. Yeah. And so it used to be a tickle was just like 100% success rate. Oh, no, I can't. And now it's just sort of like, oh, no, there's this, you know, she used to ask for like, there's this thing we do where she's like, I created these, or maybe she created these two characters, Barnaby and Theodore.

Theodore is a rabbit. Barnaby is a lion. And I would tell her a story, a Barnaby and Theodore story in which, like, I just tell it, like, one day. You were making them up on the rip. Yeah, I'm just riffing. Okay, storyteller. Just, you know.

You know people use Chad GBT to do this now for their kids? It's so depressing to me, yeah. Just like putting in. Yeah, like make up a story about a rabbit. You're a great dad. You love to tell your kids stories about it. So I'm just like making incredible. But now it's like the bar is.

Like I need to be better at it. Yeah. You got level up. Yeah. So I've been accused of like and violates something like, that was too short. I'm like trying to end the story and I need to like have character development. Yeah. Oh wow.

My go-to move is like... I thought you's something to look forward to. This sounds challenging and... But what it is is like... But when you succeed, it's... It feels more like communication. Yeah. Where there's a back and forth.

I'm like, oh, this is different but fulfilling. Yes. And you feel like you're just like actually getting to know that person more. Right. Like I can't just. do the story where they get hit with a shrink ray, which is like 90% of my part of the theater. Is that your overtore? There's a lot of shrink rays. Yeah, yeah. And there's a guy who lives on the 10th floor of our building who has a shrink ray, and we always go to visit this guy, Jim, and he has a shrink ray.

And she's like, you got to bury up. God, I am. Now you've given me a fear I didn't even know I had, which is the day that my son stops finding everything I do to be the funniest thing in the world. I think I've mentioned to people who are like, I'll pull out stuff from like 90s humor. He thinks I invented smoking. He's like, wow, my mother's comedic genius. She should be playing the Riyadh comedy festival. Player a million dollars.

These jokes are incredible. He also, like... Do not go in there. It's like all Jim Carrey. My character is the tickle monster, and I give him a look, and he just knows his coming. He just loses it, and he starts running away.

So I do that, too. And I think... You have a character. We call it a tickle monster. Oh. IP violation. That's my character. Tickle monster, pretheses, Pablo's version.

Do you do like a menacing walk towards him? I do this. Oh, that's your move? I do two index fingers and I'm... I walk like I'm in the ring, like I'll flip my hair forward and like crawl. It's actually quite terrifying. It's amazing. Maybe that's why he screams and runs away.

I just like how so far all of your mothering is ripping off movies you've seen. This has inspired me to whip out opposite day. Opposite day. It's like, that's a violet. That's a great picture. on opposite day Got her Got her

Got her No but that I think what you're describing is like You know People always ask me like What is the best thing

About being a parent now And there's a million things I could point to And kind of how it rewires you To see the world in a different way And makes you a more Like simultaneously Like a more optimistic

and negative person, or like, negative or anxious. Like, having a child in this world at this moment, like, I feel better than ever about humanity because I witness, like, oh, this pure sunshine, but then you're also like, if you feel concerned all the time and scared. So that's big. But I think what you talked about is something that I think is maybe the best part of all, which is, you know, a child is their own person. You're meeting them, and they surprise you every day in new ways.

in, you know, some frustrating ways. But, like, when you get older, you lose your, like, capacity to be surprised in a pleasant way and to have someone who reminds you that that exists is really nice. Also, the next phase, I'm thinking about, like, kindergarten, like, we just visited Violet's class. And I'm like, you see, and maybe at two, you know, I was already doing this, but, like, the self-portrait. Oh, gosh, yeah. And you just sort of, like, see how they see themselves.

That's really interesting. How they see you? Did she draw you in a funny way? Oh, she has drawn me. Violet will draw portraits where after, like, there's a disagreement with me and Liz in which she wants, she, like, loves Seltzer. That is her apple juice, actually. And so she just keeps on... Does she call it spicy water?

When do kids start doing that? Spicy water? Is that an L.A. thing? Maybe it's in L.A. thing. They all call it spicy water in L.A. Over here on the East Coast, we know it as Seltzer. Whatever the hell you guys are lying your kids about. We have, we have Celtzer

Anyway, the point being like Violin drew a picture of her next to me and Liz and she's like crying and like we have like a can of like Celtzer that she's like she expresses her emotions

She's crying because you won't give her cellars. Yes. It's really funny. It's like emotionally holding us hostage by depicting us. So Nino doesn't draw yet because he's

too he can only draw like a squiggly angry line but he in terms of like representation of me he does something that is also equally very telling or at least um kind of gets to me if there's a commercial and there's an Asian woman he'll point to it and say mama oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and I'm like Nino my guy doesn't always have to be the Asian woman we don't all look the same I know you're too. Yeah, there's, there's, I don't know. I could do parents talk. It turns out longer than I planned on doing parents' talks.

People love it. No, they don't. My timeline this week has been AI slop. Okay. And bad bunny tics. Yeah. And sometimes the two merging. I just think the NFL from this perspective, from like the cultural perspective,

this is what I wanted, I actually did want to talk to you about. What a transition. How do we get from? Oh, God. I'm so good at storytelling. You should have been from the kids' book part. There is a shrink ray. Speaking of bad bunnies who are running away.

Speaking of Theodore, a good bunny, I want to tell you about a bad bunny. I just think it's so funny that the NFL is like suddenly this radically progressive institution because they chose the number one streaming artist in the world. Yeah, I know. it is kind of wild that for all of the whenever people ask me about the NFL and like you know politics of it this is obviously you're in the Kaepernick era there was more of a discussion around this but

now that that's like kind of in the rear view I always say like the politics are money man like I don't know what to tell you guys like this is not there's these aren't stands like there but it is very funny that like this institution which is I don't think perceived as being on one side or the other. The culture war has gone back to back with Kendrick Lamar and Bad Bunny. That's like pretty interesting, right?

But yeah, like they're following the money. They're following culture. They're following the international audience, especially with this move, which is any, like, it's impossible to watch, if you actually watch football in last few years and not recognize that it's like the fight as a priority for the NFL right now with games overseas.

It's very telling that, they like, according to the reporting, wanted Taylor Swift and went to bad bunny. Like the motive in both is there are demographics we would love access to. And there are zillions of people in those demographics. And as they say in The Simpsons, money can be exchanged for goods and services. So we want more money. But then, like I'm looking at the coverage of this, as always. And some of this is the most predictable.

But like the speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, says, quote, well, it sounds like he's not someone who appeals to a broader audience. So that's his take on why Bad Bunny is just like this. That's a leftist decision. In and of itself, a crazy sentence that the speaker of the house is weighing in on Bad Bunny playing. He wanted Lee Greenwood. Does he do what's like, he does one of the USA songs, right? Lee Greenwood, Liz.

Yeah, he does the one song. The only song, God bless the USA. I'm not like a giant Bad Bunny fan. It's not that I dislike him. I just haven't listened to a lot of his music. It's very clear to me, though, among my... He was right. Mike Johnson was right.

I don't know any... We talked about it. We're both watched. I'm 40. I don't know... Yeah, you're re-watching the mask. Meanwhile, the streaming artist... It's classic.

Astride popular culture is escaping our view. But it's just very clear that, like, if you speak Spanish... Yeah. And you live in and around this continent, he's the guy. Yeah. So it's not to say, like, how dare you not know who bad bunny is? It's merely to say, like, look how much much... money, bad bunny is going to bring to the bottom line of a sport that has only one consistent

principle, which is like growth. The reactionary stuff I've seen has been along either one of two lines, one of which is that a lot, I think most of his music is not in English, so that's a thing. Or that he himself did a, has been outspoken about not performing in the U.S. right now because of the ice crackdown and he had a residency in Puerto Rico that I think I read summer was like it was like a like a GDP booster like it was like crazy the amount of money injected into the economy which which is again technically part of the United States so I think some of the backlash I've seen as well he's been critical of this country and I said this to you but the

craziest part of it all to me is like there's a lot that's wild about it I feel like if he was announced as a performer 15 years ago, it wouldn't have been controversial, and it's wild. Like, that's, like, a crazy thing, right? Like, that we're moving backwards in terms of, like, how these things are perceived.

But don't you feel like that's true? If this was 2012 or whatever? I feel like we were far more culturally adventurous. Yeah. In terms of, like, what we're willing to tolerate as a matter of, like, What makes political news? Yes, right.

So in terms of what the Super Bowl is, like there are two ways to see Bad Bunny agreeing to do it. That's interesting, too. So he agrees, despite all of this, knowing, by the way, that the NFL, in terms of its general cultural signaling, is, again, if they are progressive, it is in the service of an economic motive.

Right. And recently... What are you aligning? Yeah, what does it mean to do it? Yeah, and recently, the signal had been, of course, we want to get along with this administration. From the NFL. Yes.

We're not going to, whatever. End racism in the end zone, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. It ended. We ended racism. The end zones weren't. And those end zones. Enough touchdowns were scored. Mission accomplished.

His side of it, I think, is really interesting, right? Because, like I said, he's been taking this, what was perceived as a principled stand, and that's what led to some of the backlash. And I saw some folks kind of accuses selling out, you know? And I think I don't agree with that. Personally, there's two things.

One, let's see the show first. Like, just starting there, right? Like, maybe before we talk about what he is and isn't accomplishing with this and let's see it, right? I think that's a thing. But I also think, like, at this particular moment in American history, when so many Latinos in this country

are being targeted, harassed, families ripped apart. I mean, I live in Los Angeles and seeing like just hardworking people afraid to go to work and congregate. But a moment while this is happening. The fear could not be more real. To have the world's biggest artist

take the world's biggest stage is in and of itself inherently a radical, and more than, maybe that's the wrong word, it's a powerful, like, it, it shows people that they're still represented and they still have soft power. And I don't think that's insignificant. I don't. And it's a reminder of, one, what art is capable of in moments like this, where we all feel pretty futile, you know, I think a lot of artists feel like, what are we even doing? And also, like, of values that this country is supposed to be about, which is, like, celebrating difference. And And that's, so he has the opportunity, I think, to do something, like, kind of important.

I will point out that, like, when Kendrick performed and did his show, it was less political than it was certainly, like, racially conscious. Yeah. And personally, um, insulting to Drake. Like, the question there was, like, what is Kendrick going to say about Drake? And he said quite a bit. And Samuel L. Jackson played a role that was. very well cast, but was not like a hammer. It wasn't hitting you over the face with, yeah, like politics.

Exactly, with politics. So in that way, like, you always wonder, when the NFL makes this choice, and again, this is a job that is not paid. Half-time performer is not a paid job. It is a job that you get paid through the exposure and platform, which is unparalleled, as he said. The question is always, like,

is there an agreement to just, like, understand we're playing to the biggest and only really, the only big room left in this country. Yeah. Please don't abuse that privilege. I think the kind of thing I was interested in that regard.

I was like, is you going to do something? I remember when Lady Gaga performed, that was also like, is she going to say, like, is there going to be? And routinely, no. No. It's been just about the music. I think, you know, I guess what I just feel

strongly, though, is like the music itself is kind of enough at this moment. I really believe, like, it's a big thing. But yes, hearing Spanish on the Super Bowl halftime show feels to your point. It does feel radical

given what everything else is signaling to Spanish speakers in America. I think back to the Kendrick, by the way, performance, and there was so much, this is sort of connected to what you're saying about, like, what's actually popular and what do people really want and who was actually like, you know, there was all that talk about

like, you're going to change a channel. Nobody's changed a channel. The ratings were insane. And no one's going to change a channel this They can put a football on a table and they would draw millions of viewers. Yeah, right. Like a literal football, I mean like a children's book football. Yeah. With like a talking face on it.

I have one of those actually at my house. People give me so much football stuff for my kid. He now knows how to see. He says hut, hud hike when he sees it. Hutt, hud hike. He probably listens to bad money. He's two. Probably knows the words.

Hugo. He wants that, what's it? Manzano. Hugo de Manzan. D'amé Hugo, Mast Hugo. Hemmy. Moss.

He says Moss, actually, when he wants more stuff. He's a big Moss guy. Live Moss. What do we find out today? That we... Apparently, you're not going to talk about football. Oh, we did.

We had to... Oh, shit. There was a football story I want to talk about. Yeah. No, genuinely, I am interested in... There's this football story that I want to actually talk to about. Okay.

It's a Seahawks story. A Seahawks story. So what's the name of your kicker again? Jason Myers. So the Jason Myers thing in which your Seahawks beat the Cardinals in a very dramatic... Super dramatic. Fashion. From 52.

The kid wobbles but makes it through. And the Seahawks win at the gun. This field goal was clutch. Clutch, yeah. And it came with this like warning label around like... a prohibited substance. It was not prohibited. So he took a big whiff of smelling salts,

which are not prohibited if you bring your own, which that might be the only instance in recorded history of drugs being okay if you bring your own. They're not drugs, sorry. Spanned substances, B-Y-O versus team-provided smelling salts. But clearly it worked because he banged that sucker in. It's weird to me that you haven't done this on this show. It feels like something way up your alley to try smelling salts.

Do we have the salts? No one has the salts lying around. Yeah, bringing the salts in. Wait, you really? Oh, my gosh. How did I predict this? I almost forgot. I'm like, what is the one thing we prepped today?

Oh, my God, I've never actually experienced this. Instant energy and mental clarity. How long does it last? Wow. A fleeting moment. A hundred percent natural. Shake the bottle. Boom, boom, nasal stick.

Mine says instant energy and mental clarity and it has kind of like a monster energy-looking logo. Where did you guys buy this on the internet? Let me see. Let me see the ingredients on that one. It says ideal for athletes and tiny text down the bottom. Ingredients. Ammonium carbonate.

This feels more illicit. Yeah, so I just shake it and then unscrew it. They're saying don't put it too close to your face. This is Minam's trying to smelling salts. Oh my god oh no I put it way too close to my face you are actively crying right now

I feel like I could kick 20 field goals oh fuck you know that felt like you know that felt like getting all went into one nostril too that went entirely in my left nostril and it felt like I just got

shot with a chlorinated pool. Jesus Christ. Yes. Yes. It's the chlorine feeling, but like times a million. Oh, my God. Did it give you, I mean, if I was... My left eye is tearing because I'm in my left nostril. My right nostril, I think, is congested. Oh, this is, it can't be that strong on the sideline, because people would be freaking out constantly.

I'm ready to fucking podcast. Jeez. Boost focus. I do feel focused. I feel incredibly focused. I have instant energy and mental clarity. Holy shit. Yeah, that should be illegal.

Oh, my God. This should be illegal. Do you think this would actually help you kick a field goal? I feel like I could kick a fucking hole through this wall. Oh, God. Wow. Yeah, that is... See, I always thought it was not like that.

I thought it was more like a coffee-type feeling. Not like a being injected with compound V type feeling. I feel like somebody just walked up behind me and hit me with the opposite of a tranquilizer. I just don't think I'm going to forget that smell for the rest of my life. It's just like it just permanently, I just sold a share of my brain to this rip-off monster energy drink smelling self.

You hit it, though. It really does feel like jumping into like a pool that's been like chlorinated. Because too many kids have been peeing in it and they like know they got a really, chlorinated. Like, that's what the inside of my brain smells like. Oh, my God. Can you imagine just, like, doing this before NFL live? I don't think this would actually help my performance in any ways, because I feel focused,

but not in a good way. Do you feel focused, strength, and energy, which are the three icons that are on this thing? I definitely don't feel strength. I feel like somebody with a gigantic hand slapped me in the face. Trying to describe to the podcast audience what's going through my mind right now. I feel like I dunked my head in cold water. I pulled my head out. Somebody slapped me in the face. What I found out today is that these smelling salts,

much like everything I've learned about parenting, and everything I've learned about aging, is a cliche we should respect. That's a good one. Yeah, I learned that I'm going to have to start innovating my own stories for my kid, which I haven't even thought. about that. I'm going to have to start getting more creative and maybe I'll have to take some

of those poor bedtime. I'm going to say. I know what Barnaby and Theater are doing next. They're ripping some salts. Somebody stop me. Pablo Torre finds out is produced by Walter Avaroma, Maxwell Carney, Ryan Cortez, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McCray, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor, and Chris Tumenello. Our studio engineering by RG Systems, sound design by Andrew Bursick and NGW Post. Theme song, as always, by John Bravo. And we will talk to you next time.