Pablo Torre Finds Out - Share & Bang & Tell with Dan Soder and Katie Nolan

Episode Date: July 11, 2025

Does anyone win in a fight between a hockey enforcer and a golfer? Will A.I. impressions ruin comedy? And how many tabs is too many tabs?For more human-grade impressions: DanSoder.com/tour Subscribe to Casuals: https://www.youtube.com/katienolan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Pablo Torre, and this episode of Pablo Torre finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin 1738, Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth, cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly, because today we're going to find out what this sound is. What were you doing out there? We put you in the human body for once and you screwed it up. The water goes on the inside. Right after this ad. We left the house and we were like, both of us are going to wear brown.

Because we both feel tan. Because we went to our friend's pool. I was going to, wait. We saw that I have discovered the sun. It's good stuff. Why are people out there all the time? I am, I had to, last year I got, um, prescribed, like, weapons grade vitamin D. Me too.

They were like, you need to take this every day for a week. You are low. You guys are, they're going to find this clip in like 75 years when we're all mole people. We have to live underground. And they go, could you imagine? Imagine embracing the sun? Yeah. Well, I've been out there and I've been using my SPF.

Don't yell at me. Can I share a secret? Just here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started using this right before I got the sun, right before I discovered that the sun will make your skin browner. I got this lotion. And it's supposed to be self-tanning gradually

because I'm afraid of self-tanner. Because if you do it wrong, your skin has died. Your Italian heritage. It looks crazy. It's just like... It's a high-stakes decision. She's scary. So I, like, dipped my toe in of, like, this says if I use it like lotion, every day I'll get a little bit darker, which is how it's felt safe to me.

I put this shit on one time. Look at my elbows. What the hell's that? No. I don't know. You can just push in on kitties. I don't know. It's like, what the, what this thing lied to me?

I used it once. And I was like, don't have to worry about how I'm applying it. It's a tiny, gradual tan. Lies. We're a W. house, so there's no judgment. She's just like a pro wrestler. My mom is a dermatologist.

I do not, this is something that she will call me about. She will be mad to hear that I actually just don't use suntan lotion because I'm of the opinion that I have God's natural pigmentation. You know, S-PF blocker. You don't use Blocker at all.

At all, at all. You never, at all, your whole life. Oh, certainly my mom has forced it upon me. I have a makeup removal routine, which Katie has witnessed. Okay, yeah. By the way, the seaport's closed. The ESPNC studios is done. Shut up. I definitely still had stuff there.

Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if you... I don't think I ever cleaned out that locker I had. Katie's possessions are now the subject of a storage war episode, I present. Oh, that's cool. That's how that happens. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so they shut it all down?

Yeah, they moved to a place not far from here. Where they have to pretend you can see the outside? Katie Nolan's possessions. though, will they be CGI replicated on the new virtual set? What did you have in your locker? I don't remember. Nunchucks?

Do not remember. This has happened. Did you have a cutout picture of Mario Lopez on the inside of your locker door? And I gave it a smooch every day. I feel like you had something super shady in you. No, no. Why did you just fall?

I was, I was having a memory. Okay? I was thinking back to my time when we worked there. It was the building where I found out that Pablo was having a baby. ran out of work and was like, I need you to do high noon. Goodbye. I'm having a baby right now. That's a fact. That is a factual event. And I was like, I don't, I don't.

You did break out into song. I did. And you remember Ben Affleck just ripping Sigs in the green room? That's the other one. That's exactly what I was thinking of. It was how my locker was right next to when Ben Affleck came in and ripped Sigs in the ESPN office. Boston women immediately, their second thought is either Matt Damon or Ben Affleck. It just immediately is like. The pheromone. He's always right here.

He's right at the fucking tip of your head, kid. We're thinking of you, Ben. Yeah, but he was just... Oh, I forgot to put my contacts in in the Uber. Smoking cigarettes. Now you're flying blind. I can't see anything. Do I look okay?

Should I put the sunglasses back on? Every clip I see of a woman going viral now, she's got sunglasses on. Outside of your elbows being racially profiled, everything looks totally normal. How do I get rid of this? What do I dip them in ass? They're trying to deport your elbows. They wouldn't tell us at Sirius. There was a celebrity coming in and they were like, you have to go the back way out of the thing

and, you know, immediately on the show, we're like, we work here every day. Why do we have to go a different way? And they're like, no, you have to leave through the back door. You have to go like the long way and leave through the elevator bank on the backside. And we're like, we can't tell you. It was fucking Madonna. That was it. I mean, that was it is crazy.

I don't know. She's Madonna. Listen. Yeah, I'm going to go with Katie on this one. I know that she, didn't she like, is it? Is it because she, didn't she show up at the cellar or something? She tried to stand up at the comedy. She has dropped.

But she is still Madonna. She's done it more than once. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't know that. She's done it twice. She's done stand-up at the comedy cellar. I haven't been there for you. I was there the first time and didn't watch.

Because why would I? Actually, I don't know. I'm not going to lie. I tried to get the video from Liz, but Liz, the manager at the seller. I love Liz. And Liz is, you know, she's a real one to her job. And she's like, I'm not going to give you Madonna's set. Leave me Madonna.

I go, come on, I want to watch it. Why film it if we can't have? Because I heard the second one, she bombed for 30. Well, because first of all, no shit. I was going to say, right? Wait, she was there for 30 minutes. Yeah, that's also. That's ego.

She can't tell her she can have five. I was going to say, that's a tight six. That's in the category of we don't typically let random pop stars do. This is Ben Affleck smoking in the building. 100%. We don't give 30 minutes. It's like you have to get past to get up on stage there. Yeah, but it's the way.

But you're not going to say, Madonna, sorry. No. Try the stand. But to her, it's just like a thing. It's to her, it's just like, oh, it's just a room. Oh, it's a comedy club, I don't get it. She didn't give a shit. She was like, I just want to do this.

I want to scratch this itch. And then she did it. And then the thing that I heard was that when she was like, wasn't doing well, she was doing the thing where she was going, you guys hate me. And they go, yeah, no, we love you. And then she'd just bomb again. And then she's like, you guys are mad at me. Which, so I've adopted that. So if you see me live, how.

I love that. If a joke does not hit, I go... Danceoder.com for tickets. I go, oh, you guys are mad at me. On tour, you can see Dan. Golden Retriever tour, kicking off at September. Let's go.

Unveiling... Sorry to wave my elbow at you. No, do it, dude. I love it. I'm a wrestling fan. You're not upsetting me. I watch people in bronzer every Monday and Friday. Keep saying the tour thing.

No, it's just dance-senter.com. And Madonna might be opening. And Dan might be unveiling his... You guys are mad me. Baby voice. Are you guys? Do you guys hate me? Just bombing and saying that.

It's pretty cool, though. Somebody's got to try it. Pretty good way out. Somebody has to try it. How often does it happen where someone shows up being like, I, famous person, feel like I should be able to try my hand at this and you should enjoy it? Rarely, if ever. I think it's like Madonna is obviously Madonna, even though I tried to act like, they kicked his out of zeros for Madonna. And it was only Madonna.

Because I thought it was going to be Prince. Oh. I thought that's who it was the whole time. Oh, because you got hyped on it being. somebody and then you were like, yeah, and I was upset that it was Madonna. But, no, the seller doesn't like, like, uh, celebrities just go-do stand-up.

I think that was, like, a unique case. I like Madonna just doing like observational comedy. She's like, what's the deal with, why do I have cones on my breasts? My breasts aren't combs. You go, Madonna, it's brilliant. Someone has that style already. That's already, you're not going to believe this.

Someone does that. What's the deal with sex books? I put one out in the 90s. I don't even know. This is not even a joke. These are good references. That book was wild. Wait, her book?

Her sex book that she got in trouble for. Hold on. This is something that I'm unfortunately not as familiar with. Oh, it's titled sex. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, buddy. I believe it's called sex book? It's called sex book?

Look it up. I think I just acquired a PDF of it. Oh, good. Free? Might be pixelated. I think I'm pirating Madonna's sex book. Okay. I'll teach you how to fuck.

You don't read it out loud. I don't know, maybe. I was going to say, is this Madonna's sex book, and page eight is... Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that? Madonna's nipple. That's her. That's Madonna, right?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay. I mean, she is blindfolded. She does have the... Back when people were still actively using... Pablo, thanks. He's circling her nipple with his cursor, like, I don't see it. And this, you'll see right here, this is a nipple.

This is not something that... It's childful. To know that I was doing. No, you could say... It sounds worse than it... You could save the tab. Yeah, this isn't a snuff film. We don't have to do this.

This is a book that was released. Yeah. You can buy this book. It's black and white and very tasteful. Yeah. It's, that was the thing. They were like, oh, it's art. Get over it.

Get over it. Get over it. Squares. So what I'm sucking my finger and looking at my nipple. Whatever. That was like a big deal, though. I was obviously hitting puberty around the time that thing was coming out. Obviously, yeah.

So it was like... Formative. So I made it look like, what is this the book? What does sex mean? Now I got to go back to the bathroom. I'm peeing a lot. Peeing a lot and it's taking a long time. I drink a lot of water.

Hydration is very important to me at 12 years old. I'm currently reading the New York Times Review. Oh. What'd they give it? The title is The Empress Has No Clothes. So I'm guessing this is going to lean a bit negative. Oh. Now that kids is called context clues.

What Pablo's doing there would be taught in a class called reading comprehension. Do they do that anymore? I don't think. It doesn't appear that way, at least. Here's the kicker. Some people think Madonna never did have talent or humor or appeal, but I am not one of them. Okay, that's a weird way to say that. Does she ever seen her at the cellar?

Oh, my God. She always had a witty edge to her act that suggested she was not taking herself too seriously. Maybe sex can be a warning about what happens when pop icons become bloated one way or another. Think of Elvis in Las Vegas. You'll have an idea of where Madonna is heading if she doesn't watch out, period. 1992, page 7 of the National Edition of the New York Times. Whoa. So.

Okay. You know. Yeah. I do appreciate, though, the amount of the amount of nipple. You're still looking at it while we sit here looking at you? This is your podcast. You invited us here to watch you look at Madonna's tits. You see him go like this?

Okay. Okay. I am. And oh, I got a lip, a lower lip. Anyways, Dan, how are the Giants doing? Whoa. Betty. 86.

Tab that. We'll retab that one. Anyways, Katie, what's up with your orange elbows? Double-click. Save as. You're going to pin this. Oh, right. All right.

I'm going to do some light reading after the show. Do you guys pin any tabs on your browser? I have a bunch pinned, and then once that bookmarks tab on my browser is full, like the ones I can see. You do? You'll go to, like, tiny dot level, like. Yeah. I usually just keep tabs open. I have to keep deleting tabs on my phone because I'm at 500.

for the browsing group. No way. And I'll go back through them and then I'll go like, I do still want to read that article. Not right now. Yeah. But later. 500?

Yeah. Your phone must be extraordinarily slow. No. If you go back 500, if you go to like post like, let's break this thing out. If you go to post like 50, how long ago is it? Now we're podcasting. Is that like 2021? You are a tab hoarder.

Yes. I've things to do. Oh, my God. No time to do this. rolling through. This is like going into your house and seeing a bunch of magazine stacks. This is from when we

moved into the apartment. Great. So a couple years ago. Two years ago. Yeah. I have a tab for custom neon sign because I was going to make us one that said Sky Palace. I was going to hang it up in there.

I do love that. Sky Palace. You guys do have a Sky Palace. That's what we call it. I assume that's why you called it that. Yeah. That's why you called it that's a sky palace. Then we get high and get scared.

Then I have an Atlantic article called Pixar's talking blobs are becoming more and more unsatisfying. All right. Someone hating on Pixar. Don't love to see that. This was in 2023, June of 2003. The fantastical world of elemental masks, a lack of imagination. Were you meaning to get back to that at some point? Yeah, I still am. Yeah. That's why it's there. You want to go dig through. I go a good headline. I do want that. Just not, I don't have a reason to need it now. And then later, I'll try to remember that it exists, won't be able to find it, and we'll be frustrated. This isn't advice on how to live your life. It's me showing my mental

illness to you. Do you feel like any urge when you see that, you go, I don't need to know that now? This was... If I do, I delete it. Yeah. So that, yeah. I don't feel that on that. I would still like to I was like to say. For the audience, you still need to know about this picture on? The audience needs to know, Katie has kept that tab. Yes. And I'm keeping and choosing again right now to keep it. I just want to let everyone know, I'm currently 42 years old. That was when I was still in my 30s. Crazy. That tab was when I was still in my 30s. And while we're doing this, I just want to ever know, I am still in my 30s. Is Jeffrey F. I've seen the live when that tab was open? Potentially.

I don't know what you're talking about, dude. He did nothing wrong. Can we move forward? We don't even have a list. Why do you guys keep bringing up a list? Oh, my God. You guys are obsessed with J.E. Oh, my God.

Big J.E. Big E. It's very normal to have footage missing one minute of the jail. The reason I want that Pixar thing is because as we plunge towards our AI slop future, I have imagined that like it would be very easy, sooner to

AI generate an entire Pixar movie than to like AI generate one that is supposed to look like it's really people. Yeah. And I just feel like I don't know, feel like there's something there. We've got to look closer. Yeah. All right. I keep at our... Save some evidence.

I keep thinking about how AI now we always thought it was going to be like a computer... You might get there. Like computers talking and being like... Helpful? Aware of their existence. Yeah. But we've just reached the stage where it's like where they do the side panels on porn websites where it's like Peter having sex with Lois.

Like that's just where we're at with AI. We're like, I don't want to watch Homer Bang Marge. I want to like recreate my dead father so I can have a conversation with him. I don't want to do this. I was going to ask you about this actually in the realm of like one of your great gifts, Dan, which is like, are you worried that AI is going to get good at impression? They already are. It's like impressive.

It's like crazy. They do like a, and I eat some of the slop. I'm acting like I don't eat slop. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What slop are you? What are you... Hank Hill trap wrapping? I don't know if you've seen that.

I don't know if you've seen Hank Hill busting it out. Katie's fishing through 200 tabs at the moment. Oh, I can find that tab. Oh, yeah, no. In about two seconds. But I don't know why... I don't know this. I don't know.

Wait, this is trap king of the hill. Yeah, it just cracks me up and... Oh, wait. This is... Okay, I've won after this that I do want to play for you guys. But this is... You're just having a slop off? Yeah, slop off.

I'm over here sharing Atlantic articles Check out my slop It's July It is July You need slop But they're doing like Full songs And I didn't know that they did

Kind of cut a full album with Hank Hill And I'm like all right Well this is Too much I told all the odds to eat And get cancer too Bobby got that cell phone stick You better answer

My wife got a body on that bitch She a dancer too This big Hank They talk about A money sprint I can't hold it It's a large amount I need AI Boomhauer to ad lib over this.

So they got the whole album. You guys peep the album. Go follow them. I love it. I know it's gross. But that's, that's, that's, that's, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. So yeah, they're already good at most. I'm gonna open that later.

We have to do little, like, okay, that was stupid. It's so done. Like, if I slow down and I watch one video of AI cutting glass fruit. You love that. It's just one. Oh God. You're the one who is. She loves it.

It scratches her it. The way that the knife. It's the sound the knife makes as it cuts through the glass fruit. It's the fact that my brain goes, that doesn't, it doesn't matter. As soon as it starts to go, you couldn't possibly, it goes, shh, there's a reason, listen, all of this is coming to fruition. This was MK Ultra, and it's all coming to fruition now where they're finding ways to scratch our brains like dogs. Yes.

Where it scratches a certain thing because. It's exactly what's up. Because everything feels bad. So we're all just going, can I feel good for a sense? But like Katie hates ASMR, but daddy's kind of a form of ASMR because you're hearing that. Who said that? I thought you didn't like ASMR. It doesn't do for me what it does for the people.

It f***ing does it for it. Sorry. You're more of an AI knife cutting glass. Yeah, those are ASM. Those are ASM. But they found a way where you go, I don't need that scratched. And you go, except if you scratch like that, that's exactly what I want. That is nice.

I do like that. You have to go and now we're done. Your foot is tapping on the ground rapidly as you're watching this. And now we're done with you. And then you're going to shut the door. And I love videos of guys with dreads, like big dreads. We were talking about AI. Getting there, I know, but I'm talking about scratching that it.

You're talking, that's again, that's in the Dr. Pimple Popper Coaching. Yes, that's right. That's exactly. Everybody's got their pimple dread shape. Whatever it makes you feel relief when it happens to whatever it is. Like people with a ton of hair, then they cut it, and they're like, oh, look at all that. The water hitting their scalp. So this is, like washing a dog.

Yeah. This is the AI. This could be anything. This is Homer Simpson. Yeah, bang it. Fing Marge in front of. Barney. This is Ham romancing Marge by performing at a concert that is populated by AI-generated cartoon characters.

But this is Homer singing. So elaborate. Starlight by Muse. Beautiful. Homer's got a lovely voice. And Shrek is into it. Big news guy. Also, Shrek loves Muse.

Shrek loves muse. He'll come out of the forest for it. In other words, Dan, you are not worried. You are mostly kind of... It's inevitable. What am I going to do? But I also think, if I may, my favorite thing about your ability to do voices

isn't just that you do voices, it's that you then apply it to make whatever joke you've made funnier. Yeah, thank you. It's always been my issue with people that do voices that everyone's like, oh, you're offended? No, it just didn't serve the joke. It was the joke itself was you doing the voice,

whereas I'd rather you'd rather you, use the voice to tell a joke and Dan does that. Let me finish complimenting you. AI will never be. I think the last thing AI is going to be good at is humor. I don't think AI is funny. Oh, I agree. I agree with that.

It's like too hard for it to get, it tries too hard in a way that you're like, you don't get it. Because humor is fundamentally social, implicit context clues. Right. And that's like the deepest layer is that. That's so true. humans were very emotional. We're like the most emotional animal ever.

So I don't think AI will be able to replicate that. Because like, especially with music, when you hear AI music now, you're like, it is, it misses something. Yeah. It misses like soul to it. Yeah. There's no like, you can make it sound pleasing or whatever. And I know with music especially, you can trick it by like the counts and stuff that you're like, it is somewhat mathematical. But I just think AI will never be able to replicate like the human soul.

If you read something written by chat GPT Or like, what's the Twitter one, Brock? So we're speaking by the way. Smarmy humor. Grock at this moment has been like actually deactivated. He's going. Oh, he's there off. They turned it off.

People are trying to ask Grock and GROC is not responding. Grock's going to be the first Netflix doc about AI where he was like, I was mistreated. If Elon ever sells off GROC and someone else buys it, they do the Netflix doc where they were like, were you abused? He told me to be liberal, then conservative, and then liberal again. Grog is being managed like a boy band, right? Yeah.

Yeah, Elon's his Lou Pearlman. I think the problem with humans is we're starting to give like kids Ozampek and shit. We're like losing our funny and lonely kids. Like doing voices was a thing out of pure loneliness. Just like being funny for myself. And then fat kids, you need fat kids. Right, right. AI macho man doesn't have the trauma that...

No, he's got to be alone. learning how to cut promos on his roommate because, you know, AI didn't have to clean a sink full of dishes and get mad about it. Here's a question. I was thinking about this yesterday. Sometimes I, in this current climate, hesitate to say something, I think,

because someone's going to ascribe me a political party and then say that that's what I... But what political party is this? If I feel like, in terms of wealth, if you reach a certain amount, like, let's say, however much Peter Thiel has, you should be able to find you when you say,

in an interview, something along the lines of, I don't know if humanity should exist forever and continue. You would prefer the human race to endure, right? You're hesitating. Yes? I don't know. I would, I would, um... This is a long hesitation. There's so many questions implosion. Should the human race survive? We should be able to find you the way that the NBA would find a player when they disparage the refs. Oh, and they go, like, that call is bull-h-h-k. And then they go, like, you got to give us $25,000. You can't do that.

It undermines the game. Peter Thiel would feel like you're trying to wipe out humanity. You got to give us $2 billion. There should be replay review. Yes, and we should go, watch. First of all, stop doing interviews. That guy can't talk. So this video, this video, Katie's description is not in any way in exaggeration.

No, he goes, do you think humanity should, the guy asks it pretty flat-out? And he's like, it's sounding like you're hesitating. So it's Ross Duthat, who's like the New York Times conservative columnist, who was just like kind of like putting a question on a T. Yeah. And... Hey, humans are... You still like humans, right?

And he goes, wow. No, Peter Teal's just like Nomar Garcia Parra-in. Just like for... Yes. Like verbal, you know, wristband adjustment for 30 seconds. It's the way every interview I see of this guy, he's wet in a wrong way. Something is moist that isn't in its... And it's wrong.

and he's like breathing funny, and he takes these long pauses that, like, I'm trying to teach myself to slow down and allow some silence. He is the worst case. You leave so much silence. And then he does the like, well, and I, um, and he seems so nervous that you're like.

It's a lot of buffering, a lot of physical buffering. I don't like that. I know you're full of boy blood, but I don't like somebody that nervous. Alleged blood boys. That nervous to have that much money and to be running our upcoming, human experiments known as the

whatever Olympics that he's doing. Oh, he's doing the Royd-Games. He's so nervous. I think he goes back to the spaceship and they go like, What were you doing out there? We put you in the human body for once and you screwed it up. The water goes on the inside. And he goes like,

Why? I don't know. I was stressed out. They asked me about humans. You want me to tell them that they're supposed to live? Ross, do that is a very skilled interviewer. Oh, come on. We said, it up. It was a gotcha question. The liberals go too much off

emotion. The conservatives off just stuff they hear. Peter Thiel needs a Jordan. Wow. To jump in and go. We're not talking about that.

Oh, yeah. He needs to be momaged so badly. Yeah, just go get a, you know. I don't know, dude. Just what are you doing? You make me so uncomfortable. I'm trying to give you the benefit of a doubt for no. To have a Jordan Hudson.

It's just a really would help. We don't talk about that. I mean, he could afford one. He can afford one. afford like the biggest king out there. Just pay a lady like, you know, $100 million. The biggest king, bitch.

Yeah, just to go like, man or woman. Non-derogatory. Non-derogatory. We're just going like, hey, we're not talking about that. I'll do it. Hey, he doesn't answer questions about humans, you stupid bitch. And then Peter goes, thank you again. And I go, you're welcome.

I'll be eating my crap. When he throws a treat? It does feel like... By the way, I'm buying a compound on New Zealand because this thing's about to get fried. Peter Thiel does have men in black, cockroach guy. Yes, what's his fucking deal?

He's got any sugar. What's his deal? More. Oh, yeah, as I'm saying that, should I, he's gay, right? I didn't mean to say that he needs to Jordan in the sense that he needs to. Yeah, that's the part that he'll be offended by. I didn't mean to, yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.

I forgot for a second. That, uh, that's the reason he shut down Gawker. Yeah, that's a whole thing. He funded Hogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's you gonna do when I get funded by a billionaire? I just think we should be able to say You have to pay us money, you can't do that

I'm gonna go, ugh, why are you wet? That's what I'm sorry What's this? Oh, you dewy ass? Shut your dewy ass up. He's like, I'll need more sugar. I wish we had like a cool villain. All the villains we got are like

Yeah, Bond villains were cool. They got no taste, no style, no... Where is the volcano with the opening platform? So I think I have an answer. was like, what is this? So the Bayesos... It was a Bond villain.

Why is there gray carpet in the forest or whatever? The Bezos wedding would have been a Bond villain wedding if it was like on an inaccessible island. That's what they should have done. It was instead in Times Square. It was an Italian Times Square. It should have been on the island's off. Skull Island.

Wasn't it right off of Venice? Like it's not, it wasn't on the main Venice. No, they were all staying in hotels in Venice. And then there was like a thing that was slightly more removed. But it was very photographable. I think the people who are doing the villain stuff that you guys are describing. So this is, I will anonymize this story because legal reasons. But I was just talking to somebody who inadvertently wound up on a boat that he claims involved another boat following it.

And that boat was full of, and this is, again, this is not something I've reported, it's just a story. I was just told, was full of prostitutes, and it, like, docked inside the bigger boat. Okay. A little preview of things to come. And it went to a Caribbean island, and the owner of the boat was revealed to be, I think this is general enough for me to say, a Russian billionaire who also owns a very prominent soccer team. No way. So I'm like, when I heard that story, this was two days ago. Guys live in Grand Tift Auto in real life.

whole boat of hookers into bigger boat and then we do hooker island like that's the party you want to go to not Bezos is where they're all giving like shi-k kisses. What we're asking? Like man, why can't American billionaires do that?

I'll tell you what, I know we've been on the boy. I know we've been shone on old Peter Thiel but this steroid Olympics People are going to die. Well, we're reaching the part of society where that will, running man is like there's a new one coming out

which doesn't look that good. There is? Glenn Jacobs as Arnold's role. Glenn Jacobs? That's his name? No, who's the guy that was in... Oh, Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell.

Who's in everything now? I do recognize that name. Who is that? Was that my old boss at ESPN? I think it is. Glenn Jacobs was there for the ESPN phone. Was recently named Vice President of Production for MMA. Shut out Glenn Jacobs.

He was my first boss at ESPN before they moved him around and reorged and reorged. and then I think laid him off. Is that Kane's name from WWE? Maybe. Can you check if that's Kane from now the mayor of a town? Glenn Thomas Jacobs, also known by his ring name Kane. Son of a B-B-that's Cade! I wish you could hit the Red Effects.

Did he do that when in 2018 he became the mayor of Knox County, Tennessee? Oh, yeah. Damn, Knox County feels like a popular county in Tennessee. I feel like I've... Would that be where Knoxville is? Katie? Its county seat is Knoxville. Back to this steroid Olympics.

You're excited for it? It's just, no, I'm not. I feel the same way about it as I do about a Paul Brother boxing where I go. If it hits me on the right Saturday? I see someone's going to die. I just think they're going to put too much stuff in. Their heart's going to f***ing export. It's going to have that that's a cat's dog that looks like it can't walk.

Yeah, when you get those pipples that you're like, it's just muscle. Or the kangaroos too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think they want to compete. Yeah. So I think they're going to be pushing their, whatever sport they're doing.

Yeah, it could end up in death. But I don't think they're going to be like, do you think they're going to be like hot dog balls of muscle? I don't know. I think they're going to try. The way they're marketing it now, and it has changed over the years since they've had this idea. But the current angle they're taking, which seems to be working, is that they want to test the limits of human, like, capability. Yeah. And so they're like, you're holding us back by saying we can't use these drugs to enhance our bodies to achieve more.

Sure. So in fact, to unite some stray threads we've been dangling here, the idea is the brainchild of Dr. Aaron DeSouza, the Australian lawyer who helped mastermind Teal's proxy war against news media organization Gawker, which led to Gawker's bankruptcy in 2016. Furthermore, in a recent interview with the Independent, DeSuzza was defiant and outlined how he hoped the enhanced games would not only shake up the world of sport, but provide a public platform for life-extending science to thrive.

Quote, this is the route towards eternal life. Yes, yes. That's never gone wrong. Anyone that's ever sought that out has never, nothing bad has ever happened. I... Only good can come from this. Can't relate to the desire to want to live forever. Well, my love, that's because you have depression.

How many people are out here going this, but always. Katie, I will say, not me. I'm going, how? How much longer do we have to do this for? What is left on the clock? When do I get to go to sleep? I will say your internet search history suggests that you plan on living forever. Well, let me go back because we really did only get to one article there.

And there's a lot in here. What if I told you you could live forever? How to reheat chicken parm? Always important. I don't want to do that wrong. I'm going to step in as your future husband and tell you to keep that tab. I do. That's good.

Yeah. You don't have to step in. Wait, what's... I'm thinking of you all. I saw you go to that X. What's the strategy? Right next to it, Ronnie Lott's signature. It was your birthday.

I was going to say, either you're... Greatest safety amount. You were trying to steal Ronnie Lott's identity or getting Dan a great birthday gift. Yep. Which is it? What's wrong with normal chicken palm reheating? With chicken parm, you have the chicken.

It's real teal-like. You have the chicken that, you know, a microwave heats from the inside out. So that's something to keep in mind. So you have the chicken that you need to get warm. You have the breading that you need to get crispy. That could get soggy pretty easily. You don't want that. And then you have cheese that you don't want. Are we having

a contest of how to do it? I can click on the tab and tell you what it says. As someone who often reheat chicken parm, now I'm like, this is a bit of news I can use. Yeah, we got to find out what you do. You want everything to be reheated in a way that makes, the best place to heat up the dish is in the oven. The dry heat will make sure the breaded chicken has a perfectly crisp texture and that your pasta doesn't get too. Oh, well, this is assuming you have pasta in there too. I would do that separately, so that's crazy. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe this is a bad link to why am I? Instant pots. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what an instant pot is. This is a choose your own adventure. Stovet. It tells you how to do it in all the different ways. To do it in the skillet if you want. Basically, yes, choose your own adventure. I know we were talking about your locker earlier at ESPN, but this does feel like the end of the school

you're cleaning out your locker and being like, oh, I found this. I was supposed to turn this assignment in. And I didn't. That's what it feels like. The New Yorker 100, the case against travel by Agnes Collard. It turns us into the worst version of ourselves while convincing us that we're at our best.

Oh, interesting. Save that. And as a lady who likes to sit, I was like, I love when somebody advocates loudly for just sitting. Back to the Royd Olympics. Do they have a date? Do they have like any? Yes.

So it's going to happen. In Vegas and it's, I think, next, or October. Of course it's Vegas. Something's telling me October, but. May 2026, the enhanced games. And it is in Las Vegas. And is it like track and field? They are scheduled to a,

include track and field swimming, weightlifting, gymnastics. That's going to be crazy. Combat sports is the dangerous. But, man, I'm not going to be able to turn away. I know. It's, it's going to be very dangerous. We've been talking about this on our show a lot. Like, should we, in terms of, like, should we do this on our show?

And at every turn, I'm just kind of like, again, I kind of get it. But now, now I thought I hear about this eternal life thing, I'm like, hmm. It's so funny that that's, it's like, not a good commercial for that where they go. And we think it's a good commercial for eternal life. You should go, just start with extending it. Start with extending it. If it's you and me and we're still around, I would live with you forever.

But like, if anything happens, if anything happens to you, and then they figure out eternal life. And I'm like, well, now? Yeah, guys, we already covered this. It's called Dracula. Yeah. Damn.

Guys, we've already, Anne Rice and Bram Stoker have covered this topic. Can I tell you guys about one tab that I've been meaning to show both of you? Yeah, unless it's the sex, book again, Pablo. I know what a nipple looks like. Yeah. I've minimized that. I have three of them. Some of us were there when the book came

out. The thing I wanted to show you actually is this. Drive the fuck up there or you're going to get put it to the fuck out of here. Have you guys seen this? Dan, have you seen this? I'll fucking promise you that. Hurry up. We're on a golf course.

He's not. Not that. He's not. They sound Canadian. This is Canada. You're not tough. You're not tough. You're not tough. Let's get going. Get going.

So, smaller guy and like a very loud Dan flashes shirt. This is not golf. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's golf. This is golf now.

You guys can't even tee up now. He's not teeing it up, man. God, they're Canadian. No, we don't need police out here? Okay, then let's get going. You need me to go get a guy bud? This is not fine. We're what?

I'm going to throw in this fucking late. Guys just casually lining up a shot. No, fuck you both. A little blue sky. That's a fucking bull. I doesn't know how to film the action. They're still made. 23 minutes.

I'll try about it. That is crazy. So that's the dispute at the core of this. And this short guy ish with the shirt, the loud shirt, and the glove and the shorts. I love a guy hitting a cry about it. And he has the high ground. Oh, glasses are off. He's still got the golf glove.

Golf head. Nice. Take the blow off. Gloveless. He's degloved. No. You, you guys, he's a boot? Okay.

Pack up, go now. Camer man's on whose side? Hard to tell so far. This guy clapping. This guy's doing a hockey dance. Yeah. Oh, come on, man. Is he going to the lake?

Yeah. Splush, splash taking a bath. He told you. You want to know. He gets a fucking train at me. Oh, he's coming out of the water. Swamp thing. Swamp thing.

Boop him. Got it all in real. Boop. Boop. He's a big boy, too. Stop, guy. Oh, my God. He's saying bang.

He's saying bang. Dude, this guy is just like, no. You know what? Oh, my God, he won't stop. That's a big brother toss. Please get up. Come back for more. Come back for more.

He's the terminator. I'm not done with that. My shirts are falling off. I said, stop. Look like an idiot. Smashing someone's face and saying bang is objectively... Just Mike breaning him as you're... You have to reveal who they are.

So when you said this is going to live forever, the guy who is the... He's not the aggressor, actually, but he is the guy... Bang, bang, bang, bang, banging that guy's face. I texted a phone number we acquired for him. because we identified him, and the internet has now identified him as a gentleman by the name of Nick Tarnaski, who you may vaguely recall from his previous life as NHL enforcer. I mean... He played for the Tampa Bay Lightning National Predators in Florida Panthers. According to data from hockeyfights.com, his professional fight record totals 167 fights.

Which explains the I tried to tell you to shut up energy. Like, I warned you. Also makes the guy when he's going, woo, woo! You're like, buddy, you have no idea what the tree you're barking up right now is absolutely. You have to listen to me. You do not want this. That's the coolest moment where he goes, I'm trying to give you my Liam Neeson. Please, please, please, please.

I have required a certain amount of CTE in the NHL. I'm about to unleash that CJ. It's not going to stop. I'm going to drag down that hill. I will put you in the swamp. You will come back out. I will say bang, bang, bang. I like that.

He's called bang. And also the technique. He's like, he's like, Emerald Lagasse. He's like, bang, boom, we're going to make this spicy. A babosh. Yeah, that's the coolest shit. If I could fight, I would absolutely be saying bang as I rang a dude's bell. I'd sound out of breath embarrassed.

I'd be like, bang. Please someone. Bang. Bang. This is a lot of activity. I want you to ring my bell Ring my bell Bang bang

I'd be singing that if I were Steel roof Rusty That is a, that's his nickname Tin A tin F-toof Rusty

That is great That's really good Thanks My dad loves the B-52s My dad loves the B-52s To the point where they said they were going on their They shared it

Their goodbye tour or whatever They did the share thing. And then they're back now. And you're like, my dad spent all that money to go. Oh, no, I was saying share does that. Share, like, back in the day would go like, I'm retiring. Good luck finding me.

How dare you? How dare you? The share is tight 30. Isn't it more down here? We're used to be. She's like, I'm back, motherfuckers. And then it was like, you said you were gone. She's like, hello.

Anyways, shout out Fresno. Were we supposed to talk about your hair at some point? Don't cut it. I'm in the don't cut camp. I do think that if I wore like a three ninjas headband, it would look cool. Man, three ninjas really had us out here thinking we could beat up grown men. Some tum-tum vibes? Yeah, tum-tum.

Wait, I had a crush on one of them. Which ninja did I have a crush on? Colt. Absolutely, Colt. You wouldn't go Rocky. I know you. Rocky was the alpha. Colt was the second best.

Thank you. It's the J.C. Chassee thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have liked Colt. And I would say if anybody, I would be Colt. Right, no, it's the, it's the NSYNC, the home improvement, the Three Ninjas. Like, you have a Goldilocks zone of handsome boys.

Obviously, everyone wants JTT. Obviously everyone wants Rot Rock. I had a photo of Apollo Anton Ono hanging up in my bedroom. Shout out the Soul Patch. But Three Ninjas really had a generation of little boys believing, with a small amount of mini-mall taekwondo, we could beat up grown men that are criminals. Yes.

I hope no one ever tested that. You could help hardened FBI agents in their investigations. Yeah. Their father was an FBI agent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would think, like the bang, bang, bang video we watched, like a grown man watches a kid going to a karate stance,

and he goes, you don't want to do this kid. I'm a man, you're a little boy, and he's like, I just watched the three ninjas ten times in a row. I got you. kick and he just grabs it and you go like, then it's like being in the water with an alligator. They also make you think that you can put, there's like an abundance of

stuff you can put in someone's drink that'll make them shit right away. Or they go, ooh, ugh. Yeah. That's like kids movies made you think like quick sand, I feel like,

and that we're going to be more prominent. They also made you think by taking someone's hand as a little child, you could flip a grown man. Yeah, and you can't. You just go like this. It's just like, you've got to get it at the right.

Do it! I say a little kid voice. You gotta go with it! I am one of those kids, incidentally. Like, I took karate classes and Taekwondo classes. Those commercials were very intimidating. I was never a Tiger Shulman Dojo. That's great.

I never did that. How long did you do karate for? What belt did you get to do? The most embarrassing thing is that I never even got a blue belt. I was just like a series of like off white. Just an occasional stripe. You got to yell at a though, right? No, I got a stripe.

But it was just like, I was, you know, what's the equivalent of this? It's like being on the freshman team. Yeah. Not even JV. Were you inspired by three ninjas? Yes. That was what got you in there. I mean, that was definitely a radicalizing movie for me.

Yeah. You were like, Mom, I need to take karate. Yes. But it's also surf ninjas. I think there was an era. Shout out Serf Ninjas. Yeah. Teenagers and Ninja turtles.

80s and 90s, ninja was massive. Yeah. It really was. You could put Ninja on anything. It was like bacon and O. wait, like, you could just, like, put ninja on anything, and everyone's like, I love it. I absolutely love it. Yeah.

Yeah, we're an American ninja. We're children ninjas. They just walked into boardrooms, and they went, kid ninjas, and they went. Oh, my God. Here's $3 million. How many of them are they going to be? Three of them. It's perfect.

Oh, my God, I'm fucking in my pants. And then that's the problem with Hollywood. Mike Ryan Ruiz Helmonds commercial. I want to find that so bad. Mike Ryan was in a Helmins commercial? I don't know. Mike Ryan kind of has the hair that I would ostensibly be trying to grow. With the long, he's got good long hair, huh?

He has some good bang. A full over? Some bang, bang, bang for his buck. Oh, this is when I was going on Jeopardy, because it's all random, like, who is Spinoza? Here comes the tab queen. How to learn everything. That's something I googled. How to learn everything.

Wait, that's a tab you have? Well, yeah, because it's a YouTube video by somebody named CW called How to Study for Jeopardy, win at trivia and appreciate urinal art. Okay. I never watched it. So take that, you know, I didn't win. I won twice, but I didn't win the whole thing. Oh my God, do I have a great three AC joint separation?

I know what that's from. I know what that's from. I didn't think I'd still have it. I like that you still have that. Did you? No. Someone else did. Somebody else did, and they were pretending to not be hurt.

Yeah. She mentioned what they said that it was that the hospital told her. and I wrote it down so that I could Google it later so I wouldn't get caught. And you saved it. And I saved it. I loved that. That was when we were up in Colorado.

It says that it's one of the more painful things you could do to your body. You just have a picture of a fast food sandwich? Sonic Cheeseburger. It's not a picture. I was looking up the Sonic menu because I think somebody was going there. Yeah, that was doing the Boulder Theater, and I went and you had Sonic for the first time. That's right. So you just closed that window.

Okay. Because I don't need that. You're right. And you were disappointed in Sonic. I remember. I remember that. It's full of Sonic Cheeseburger images. The Sonic Cheesberg.

Thank you for the menu. Carol O'Connor, I wanted to know his name. Damn, dude, you really keep every tab over. Then I have the Tom Holland Umbrella Giff. I always like to have that on hand. That's a great video. Chekhov's Gun. I googled what that was because people were saying it a lot.

Honestly, you're keeping the tab for Chekhov's Gun and only opening it now feels like a violation or maybe the ultimate fulfillment of the Chekhov's Gun Guy. And I don't get it, so let me read and then see if I laugh at this. Chekhov's tab. It's a narrative principle. emphasizing that every element in a story be necessary, while irrelevant elements should be removed, and this is not irrelevant.

For example, if a gun features in a story, there must be a reason for it, such as being fired at some later point. That's a... The principle that all elements must eventually come... And to create the through line through this whole episode... Bang. Bang.

There it is. That's podcasting. That's how you do. That's how you podcast. Keep them all open. Never shut your tabs, Katie. Wedding dresses. Hey!

I'll get to it. Pablo Torre finds out is produced by Walter Aberoma, Maxwell Carney, Ryan Cortez, Sam Daywig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McCray, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor, and Chris Tuminello. Our studio engineering by RG Systems, sound design by NGW Post, theme song, as always, by John Bravo, and we will talk to you next time.