Pablo Torre Finds Out - Share & Celine & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Who's on the Mount Rushmore of American Idol? What's your go-to karaoke song? And did a Duke star's NBA Draft stock really get torpedoed by an alleged "grooming" scheme from his older Mormon girlfriend? Or was it just true age-gap love? Plus: swabbin' and finding your Thor.Further content:"We're not crying, you are…" (Celine Dion)"Kyle Filipowski's story went viral during the NBA draft. Now his mother shares her side." (Kevin Reynolds) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're going to find out what this sound is. On Ancestry.com, your race can change. Right after this ad. You're listening to Draft Kings Network. It's something I want to say about Indigenous People's Day. Okay, great. Good. Now that Columbus sucks, they're like, oh, he's Jewish, by the way. F*** that. That's not cool, man. I've never even heard that. I haven't even still haven't heard that. That Columbus is Jewish? Well, I'm Italian and Italian. loved Columbus. It's like part of our heritage. Even though he

sailed for Spain. I know it's why I don't get it, but if I say that too loud, my mom will disown me. So I feel like I just have to be like, hey. I guess I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish and Filipino. Did you just feel like you had to admit that? I feel like I did. Well, because they secretly, this is already live streaming. This is on true social. I'm actually cool with Filipino and Jew. That's fine. Does anyone else want to declare or anything? Getting a lot of thumbs down from the booth. That's weird. I did do Ancestry.com recently.

I hope you didn't do any crimes or whatever. You did the DNA? That is something that I did not consider that I could have this used against me. Did you have to swab your cheek to ancestry? Yeah, yeah, you mail it in. Pablo. We've been swabbing all sorts of things for the last three years. They're making Pablo's in a lab right now, dude.

I know, and lucky us. And they're 8% Chinese. Eight percent? Yeah. That was going to happen. The Filipino. That's what I'm saying. What are you looking up again?

I'm looking up my ancestry.com information. That's topic number one, I feel like. We'll just go through that. I really did miscalculate. This is a QR code now. This is too much. Do you have a QR code on you? This is as far as I get.

I always have that. If I were trying to do something and I encounter a QR code, I go, well, we didn't need to do that. Back to the show. Oh, so they update. They update based on other people's genetic information, what your genetic information is. Live update. Pause, pause, pause right there. So who you are is changing?

This is what I want to know. I don't understand. Guys, yeah, go ahead. That is exactly right. That is not. So you sent in your DNA. Mm-hmm. Based on that DNA, assign you a particular, or they discover a genetic makeup.

They tell you the origins of that DNA based on matches with other people who have submitted via a codenswab, their own genetic code. But then one of those people, what? I'm just how I'm saying I can change. Is this the matrix? Is this what they get us into the matrix? Because this is where I don't know how any of this works actually. Okay. But what I can tell you is that there is a map and it is informing me that I am now 9%

Shut up. No. Southern Chinese. No, see, I was cool with eight, but nine's a little too much. Also nine, I'm not, I'm not understanding because I feel like doesn't everything have to break down and Well, guess what else? Powers of two in the denominator. No, I don't want to guess what else.

I want you to answer some of the questions we've asked. Guess what else? Guess what else? This is more stuff. 8% Spain. Spain. Spanish. Pablo.

Pablo. I mean. Yeah. I mean, my Filipino is cruise. You know there's going to be some Spain in there. That's what it says on the box. There's going to be some Spain in there. There's going to be some Spain in there.

5% Central and Eastern China. Wow. So we're getting a lot of China. 14% and Eastern China. And what China? Southern China was the other way? Yeah, yeah. No.

No. No. You just haven't read far enough. Up scrolling. Can they just say China? Is it because it's so big. It's so bad. There's so many.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for reducing all of China to the word China. Now here's something. 1% die. Sorry? A.I. Die, D-A-I is a place that Katie Nolan should have learned about when she studied for Jeopardy. I know that's why I'm scanning my brain.

I'm feeling very stupid. I don't like to look ignorant, Pablo. Admittedly, this is the first time I've ever seen this country. Great. At the bottom of the chart. D-Con. No. I'm going to say dye-related words, geography.

words, is it like Thai, but a specific subset of Thai? Absolutely right. Holy moly. The dye people are closely related to the Shan, Lao, and Thai people who form a majority in Laos and Thailand and a large minority in Myanmar. I was going to say Myanmar or like I was going to, my next guest was Cambodia. Ow. It didn't hurt.

It just was loud. I'm sorry. So that's mostly me. Okay. And the rest is Filipino in various other, you know. Do they break down the things? Filipino? They have to. It's so... 38% Luzon, 22% Western Visayas.

12% Central and Southern Philippines. Very detailed. 5% northern and Central Philippines. Wow. Okay, but now here's a question, may I ask? I'm not trying to ruin your day. But knowing that you've submitted that and that you're learning so much about who you are from that and also knowing that the people who have that can change the numbers to it at any given time.

Based on upgrading and updating. I still don't know. You still haven't really told me what the hell that is. because you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Listen. Aren't you afraid that you might one day go basically and look in a genetic mirror and the thing reflected back to you is not actually true? Last year I was part Portuguese.

And that's just gone. Now I'm 1% die. That's f***ed up. I mean, because aren't you out like buying flags and stuff and being like, you know, Bernardo? Who's Portuguese? Is that colonialism? Because Portugal's not near.

Yeah. I mean, yes. That may be a Spanish. guy hooked up with the Portuguese lady and then they had a kid. Didn't you hear that 23 and me are like out of here? And so somebody can swing in and scoop up and buy all their genetic material. I'm going to do that. I'm going to jump down my dog.

I don't think they meant a person. I think they meant like, I was going to start a indie go-go. Okay, hold on. Here's a timely article headline. September 20th, 20, 24. What happened to 23 and me? It's not going great. Yeah.

All seven of the company's independent directors resigned en masse. Have you heard about this? I think I have. It's ringing a bell. Did he say that word? Yeah. You could do it faster if you want it, but it is technically. It's ring-ding that bell. Yeah, not going great.

Great. That's Pablo's. Pablo finds out it's not going great for 23 and me. They do tell you when there are cousins that pop up. Okay. To find any new cousins? Yeah. I mean, I don't click on any of them. The way you said, yeah, was disturbing to me.

You're not going to reach out. Did you find new cousins? Oh, yeah. Wait, but you're not. Are you going to reach out? No. No. So what are you going to do if they reach out to you?

Because now you're in the matrix. I haven't replied to any of them. They have reached out to you? Yeah. You get messages. You get matches. Your siblings are messaging out. It's kind of like ethnic riah.

Except you're not supposed to date each other, I don't think. Well. Except the literal, hopefully opposite of that. I mean. Right. Oh, no. Do you think there's a, no. Don't do this.

Don't plant this in my brain. Let's not even go down. I don't want to walk down that road. As I say, it's a constantly updating map. Oh, God. Who knows what gets included in an ex-information alert? Don't they in, isn't it in Iceland that there's so few people that they have to keep like a registry of who's related to who so that people don't accidentally marry their siblings? I can tell you right away when you said in Iceland, I went, I'm not going to know this.

Whatever this is. I'm not going to know. Capital, Reykjavik. Everybody knows that one. Okay. R slash today I learned. Today I learned. A reputable source. Has such a small population that they have an.

anti-incest app. So you don't end up hooking up with a family member on a night out. Posted by a username Katie Nolan 540.4. That's right. Michael, what did you bring us today? So, look, it's not really an article. It's mostly just a thing that I've been obsessed with, which is Kelly Clarkson singing other people's songs on the internet.

So that's pretty, I'm done now. That's it. That's the back story. I'm finished. Of course she does this. And I wonder if people don't. I don't like that she does this. If I had a song and Kelly Clarkson covered my song, I would quit making songs.

She's better at the songs than everybody, than everybody else. So I feel like it's really like obliterates the original. People do say very commonly, a common thing I see when those videos are shared, are like, this is Kelly Clarkson's song now. Sorry Sabrina Carpenter, this is a Kelly Clarkson song now. It's kind of like what Johnny Cash did with Hurt, except she does it with every song. See, I hate, I don't want to have to do this in public because it's not a popular take, but I do take, but I disagree with that. Yeah. I like it much.

Wait, who did the original? Nine-inch Nails. Kelly Clarkson. It wasn't Kelly Clarkson. I just prefer than, and I'm sorry. And I know that's because I'm an uncultured swine. But like, I've, I've never heard that opinion check publicly. And I can't sit here. I can't, I wouldn't have been able to sleep tonight if I went. Mm-hmm. She recently sang a Celine Dion song. My heart will go on. And of course, it's always perfect. Kelly Clarkson, the fact that she is doing this, it's crazy that she has a talk show that that's what she does to me. Celine Dionne.

Yeah. Had a reaction to this. Which is very Celine Dion. Is it that she says, screw that lady, that's my song? Because that's what I want for my Celine Dion. Well, that's, see, that's absolutely not that. The difference between Katie Nolan and Celine Dion is this.

Oh. Kelly, when I came back from the Olympics, I got to watch and listen to your reaction to my performance on the Eiffel Tower. It was so sweet to hear you. Your voice, your voice was breaking and it touched me so tremendously. You were crying and then you made me start crying. What's up with all this freaking crying? And now I just saw you singing my heart will go on and I'm crying again.

You were absolutely incredible, fantastic. I loved it so much. I hope we can see each other in person. soon, very soon, and I hope we're not going to start crying. I love you so much. Thanks. Bye. I'm obsessed with Celine Dion, too. Have you seen the documentary?

It's so sad is what it looks like. It's on prime. Is it about stiff person syndrome? Is it about what she's... My father was tested for that. So like when I heard about stiff person syndrome, I was like, I'd never heard anybody else. It's so sad. Did you see the doctor? I would say that I saw 80% of the documentary.

At a certain point, it felt like the narrative thread had kind of fallen out of the documentary. We were just kind of like watching random clips of Celine Dion. And I was like, hmm, I think this might be bad. But Celine Dion as a human being is, I think, fascinating. And I say this lovingly, absolutely bat-shapp that seems like, just like bonkers and kind of like very emotional in a way that I think is so fun. I wonder if people, if young people fully appreciate it.

appreciate Celine Dion in the way that you want her to be appreciated. To me, Celine Dion is kind of talent-wise, Kelly Clarkson-ish. It's like the incarnation of music. Like she is a vessel for song somehow, and her voice is unbelievable. And also she talks kind of like a woodland creature. Like there's something about her that's not quite tethered to reality in the way that you would have to be if you were that talented. Right. She has the effect of like one of those elves in Lord of the Rings.

Yes. I think this is one, honestly, galadriel. That's right. Flaxen hair, pointy ears, the celestial aspect of her, the sadness of this syndrome that she had, which is, for the record here, a rare neurological disorder of unclear cause characterized by progressive, muscular rigidity and stiffness. But it renders her unable to sing in part. So that's like kind of the crux of the documentary. And culminating in real life,

the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics. When she is fucking on the Eiffel Tower, like belting rays from, yes, this divine son. Yeah. And... Not an overstatement. For all the people who are like,

I don't like this is too... The people who didn't like the opening ceremony, I was like, we got Celine. Yeah. We got her back. And then Kelly Clarkson said, watch this. Yeah.

Titanic is where this originated, right? Yes, Pablo. What? I didn't know if, sorry, I don't know if nine-inch-man-os had originated this. It's an effortlessness. It's crazy. But you get the sense there's like such restraint in it? She's like, I have so much more than this.

The amount of work that my body needs to do to hit one note of karaoke versus her like. And the way it shows on our face. Yes. It's the veins. Yeah. She is like not breaking the slightest bit of sweat. Oh, she went up. Stop?

Damn. She doesn't even care. Damn. And she's hosting a talk show. That's what she's doing. That's a clip from the talk show that she hosts. It's crazy. It is.

Have you ever seen a clip of the talking part? No. I have no interesting. I have not either. Mostly a rumor as far as I can tell. So why don't we just have, why don't you just do this? This is how I feel about. This is what we want to see you do.

There is a funny thing. Let people who like talk shows have talk shows. But honestly, it would not surprise me if her talk show was God. damn delightful. You'd think you'd see a clip. She's so pleasant. She's charismatic. She's very sweet.

She's down to earth. One of those people who like, when American Idol was a thing, and I guess it still is a thing, but like she, I just did not work. I guess it still is a thing. It says so much.

I saw somebody say, it's funny that we held a talent competition to find the best singer in America and got it right on the first try. Exactly. The show's done. We could have just ended it

and unfortunately, they kept going. I know Carrie Underwood also came from there and she was great. and Clay Aiken? Well, yeah. Bo Bice. Is Jennifer Hudson from? Jennifer.

I don't want to miss speak. I know Fantasia also. Fantasia Barina. Yeah, we did get a lot of great. I'm not meaning to speak down to, but I mean, that first, I mean, that first season. If we're talking about American Idol, Mount Rushmore. Kelly Clarkson is obviously the George Washington. I think it's four Kelly Clarksons, to be honest.

It's kind of a boring mountain, but you're like actually worth it. Six daytime Emmys for Kelly Clarkson. So what in the award? Yeah, I bet what are for what? Best song on a daytime talk show? She won for an outstanding daytime talk series. Okay. That's probably the best one.

I don't know. What other are there? Well, I mean, Jennifer Hudson, doesn't she have one? Drew, doesn't Drew Barrymore? Yeah. She sits very closely on the couch. I talked to a friend who's a respected music critic that I will not name by name, who told me recently...

Not that respected then? Told me recently that he hates covers. Oh. Okay. Hates the idea that another. artist is... Because he liked the 9-inch Nails version better. Well, I guess he must. Great. Give... Let me know who it is.

So I went to see Vampire Weekend, a band that I like. At Madison Square Garden, two weeks ago, their post-oncore performance is all covers. They take requests from the crowd. That's cool. Really? Yes. You just shout stuff out? Yes.

People hold up phones. They hold their phones ahead, like the things. Did they crowdsource to people get together and go, we should all? Is it like improv where, like they have plants? You know how you improv people are always cheating. We just make the whole thing up. You people. Ow!

Is it always sex stuff for Vampire Weekend, too? Yeah. They just go like, penis. Okay, we're playing penis again. Two, three, four. I loved it. I loved the... What did they play for you?

They played some Billy Joel. Cool. But I'm a guy who loves a wedding band. Sure. Yeah. It's a skill. It's a real skill. Yes.

Kelly Clarkson is as if your wedding band were God herself. That's what it's like. But this is also our culture, Michael, Cruz, Kane. Okay. Oh, Filipinos, you mean. I didn't even think about that stereotype. Aren't I one of the good ones? I went to karaoke recently for the first time in like 10 years and loved it.

It's fun. I used to go a lot. Big room. I mean, always common room. Always big room? Yeah, yeah. Insane. Not the new trend of get a private room and just you and your friends.

I'm private room only. I'm not out here. Oh, this is interesting. I'm not going to be out here waiting. Lights on, lights off. I'm going to wait for everyone in here to sing a song. That is the worst part. But the payoff is, and they all have to listen to you and how you're going to do it.

I tell you what, I have done private room karaoke with one other person more than one time. That's fun. I'm not going to sit here and I'm not going to wait for every Tom Dick and Harry and Sheila, Sarah and Samantha. There's only room for two are you in this town. That's exactly right. I get it. What is your song? What's your go-to karaoke song?

As a musical theater, you're also a musical theater person. I will say something to add in this conversation I think is worth mentioning is my voice is incredible so I just put that out there That's fantastic I will Same for both of us

I believe it Sometimes genetically Boys to men So hard to talk about yesterday See that Okay Sometimes sometimes

Sometimes the entire score of Le Mitz And then you know I like a lot of Sinatra stuff You know I mean he has a lot Because he gets to just Keep getting on the mic

We only have like one or two Because that's as many times as you're getting up there. Because if you're in the big room, you're going to get to sing one song, and then you've got to leave. I could tell you what my private room and my public room song would be. You have different persona. Yeah, so public room song is criminal by Fiona Apple. Okay. And then in a private room, it would be, what is the name of that paramour song? Misery business is a question. Yes, thank you. Misery business is the one. Thank you. Apparently, this is known among

paramour. If you don't put the name of your song directly in your, I know it's business of misery, but if you don't put it in there, I'm always going to forget what it's called. Sorry, that's how my brain But I just, it's like, that's what I'm here for. Let me get my money's worth. I'm going for songs like, and when you do hit them, you're like, or the next morning you go, I thought I hit those. I was hammered by then, wasn't I? And people go, yeah.

You were into it. Self-assessment of your own skill as a songstress. Where we, like, what's your, one to ten? On a one to Kelly Clarkson. Well, I'm not taking anything from Fiona Apple if I, even if I wanted to. But I'd say, you know, that song I've done so many times at this point, and I know all the little, like, parts of, if I'm having a good night vocally.

Yeah. I'd say like a seven. That's great. All right. Seven with a good attitude is that's the karaoke sweet spot. The best thing about karaoke, too, is that you don't have to really know how you did. All you have to know is how the room reacted.

And then you never have to see it again, which is why I got an almost a fight with a dear friend of mine recently. Over. We went and did karaoke for her birthday. and while I was doing karaoke, in the moment fully in the room, I found out she recorded me doing it and sent it to Dan. And I was like, no, it's not. I was like, I was alone here.

I was alone. I was in this room. And now he's like seeing me get way too into karaoke. I'm only here for your birthday. Right. This is like when your partner finds out. I don't want him to see me try to sing. That's so embarrassing.

This is like dancing your porn history. Yeah, kind of. I guess, if you want it. I don't know. I don't understand the reference. Anyway, so it's... I like total eclipse of the heart. Okay, but total clips of the heart is...

That's a... That's a... I mean, that sometimes gets a groan from the room, Pablo. You're kind of dominating the... That's like doing paradise by the dashboard. Here's the thing about me. It's like what I'm going to set aside a whole block for you. The thing about me...

Yeah. Is that I don't give a... Whoa. Sexy! Cool guy. Cool guy. The thing that I wanted to bring to this topic specifically, though, as our culture is concerned. This is now our obviously.

I'm so sorry. Do you want me to leave? No, no, no. This is karaoke culture. Katie Nolan clearly is bone deep. Yep. This culture. I don't like it.

This clip from the Philippines of a cover of Beyonce. Is it little boys singing? Oh my God. I know what the song is. Michael, don't say another word. Because the answer is obviously, yes. Kiefer, the bida, then contra bida

Oh, yes. Listen, it's listened by Beyonce, I know. So to set the visuals, four little boys. The visuals are for everybody, but there are four little boys. Vice Ganda is the name of the television personality host.

So this is kind of like a TV, it's a TV show, maybe the equivalent of a daytime. I'm just guessing. Maybe like a Kelly Clarkson? This is boy number one. White button-down shirt. This is boy number two.

He's wearing a gingham short sleeve. What? It's all it's beginning to find relief. Now, boy number three has like a bomber jacket. He kind of looks like me. You wish. He does. I love when the accent slips in.

Custs you. Ah! This isn't Beyonce. Is it? I think so. Listen. It is. Damn.

Boy number one. Boy number one. And the whole. if you're not. Sort of catching what's happening here is like playing them like an orchestra. And also the sound effects, there's like a... It's like a...

It's like Zucreou sound effects. This show rules. This is the best day of my life. I've been waiting to play this clip for any reason for a year. Just the stank face? I get booked on a fair number of literally Filipino comments.

comedy shows. And if they have the ability to show video, I always show this. That's amazing. Now, we are all boy number four. If you just observe boy number four in the back. He's so happy. He's so happy. So, you know, that's what a significant percentage of my genetic code is. I think of that song as the national anthem of the Philippines. Absolutely. That was beautiful. What happened in my brain when I thought that wasn't Beyonce? I don't know. What happened back there? I think honestly those boys sort of unmoored it from her. It was theirs.

It was exactly right. It was theirs. They Clarksend it. You could say they Clarksend it. Or, I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, kind of draws us back to Christopher Columbus. Oh, my God. It's all connected. Wow.

Vaguely Spanish people taking something as their own. Yeah. Would love to see Christopher Columbus sing lesson by Beyonce. Internet. Do your thing. Do your thing. Do your thing, Internet. So the story I bring you today is a sports story because this is a show about sports. Yes.

Everybody knows that. Of course. Stick to it. So I don't know if you remember this, but the NBA draft had a bit of a mystery, a bit of a scandal that was a thing on the Internet. And it's the story that I've been thinking about ahead of the NBA season starting in earnest as the Utah Jazz in specific is starting the season tomorrow. And if you don't recall what happened, I want to tell you about Kyle Philipowski. Katie Nolan, what number of bells is ringing in your brain, however faintly? Out of how many bells?

I'd say it's ringing like two or three, but I don't want to be like, is this the guy who, and then be totally off? He was a star at Duke. Yes. Okay? He was supposed to be drafted in the first round. He's one of those guys at the draft where it's like, he's in the green room and everybody thinks he's going to be taken. And he doesn't. And it's very embarrassing and many cutaways to Kai Falapowski looking sad.

in the green room at the NBA draft. And in fact, like the scouting report had been seven-footer who can play multiple positions, quote, seems like one of the safest picks in the 2024 NBA draft. And instead, he is all alone as the song goes. What song? At a crossroads.

I also was like, what's he talking about? I was hoping somebody else would do that with me, but I didn't know the rest of the words. You didn't remember the word. But listen. Okay, I see. I understand now. Jonathan Gavoni, ESPN draft analyst, explain why this happened.

He's competitive. You know, the workouts weren't great. People tell me there were question marks about the interviews. They said he was nervous. He didn't make shots at the pro day. You know, what's going on with his girlfriend? This is all nonsense. It's hard to find a seven-footer like Kyle Filipowski, who is this skilled.

Somebody needs to draft him very early in the second round. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. I'm obviously out of a loop on what the young kids are talking about. What's going on with his girlfriend? He has an older girlfriend. She's like 25 or 26.

And people are like, oh, this is weird. And it's like, give me a freaking break, guys. That's not the what? What? He doesn't talk to his parents, you know, like it's... Oh my God. I got to get this guy in the podcast. So shout out to Zach Lowe, host of the podcast.

I was going to say, whoever hosts the low post, obviously very good at their job. There's a real future in this business. Real future at that company. During the draft, what happens is this story. is revealed to be a thing that everybody in the NBA is talking about. And Kyle Philopowski's family, his brother, Daniel, his mom, Becky, they go on Twitter. I saw this. There is the bell.

Yeah. And so what Daniel Philopowski says is that his brother was a victim, a perfect pawn, a target for his girlfriend's lifelong, this is a quote, a lifelong scheme based on his human characteristics and growing potential as a high-level prospect and began a pursuit of him with this age gap in mind. His mom said that this has been a multi-year issue. She is in her late 20s. She had an end game to put a ring on her hand when Kyle left Duke. He was still in high school at the time. And there's just lots of stuff that gets to the realm of like she is grooming him to this is a Mormon conspiracy. And that was back during the draft.

And what has come out since has been both messy and scattered and something that I've been trying to report because I'm trying to figure out as I do on this show, kind of find out. what is the truth here? Did he actually drop because of this? What is the actual connection between his now fiancee? They got engaged and all of this controversy. Like, what is the story? And here are some basic facts that I want you guys to just, you know, reflect upon. Okay.

A fact of that was that being set up. You know, so Kyle Philopowski takes his older girlfriend who's in her 20s to prom and post a photo, you know, one year with my favorite person. And this is a prom photo. And, you know, he's 17. she's in her mid-20s. So that's one fact. Second fact, an NBA source tells me is in the last two years, this is now going back to Duke, it was known at Duke that there was a family room where like the relatives would hang out. And the girlfriend and the mom would yell at each other in public, just like real Moripovich stuff soap opera in front of other people. So this is not

exactly subtle. Number three is in that, because Kyle Philpowski is also the guy who, uh, You may recall there was a court storming, and he hurt his ankle. And in the crowd, if you zoom in, there she is. Right there. She's in the crowd, like, being very animated, being very angry. And so just based on this alone, I want to give you one more fact. Okay. And the fact is that his fiance's mom and Kyle's mom were really good friends.

Caitlin's mom and Kyle's mom were really good friends? In fact, teammates in college. Okay. This was somebody that hung out with the family all the time, including family vacations. They started getting together when Kyle was a postgrad year after high school at boarding school before Duke. And Caitlin wanted to, you know, get a job, move to Durham with Kyle. Kyle's mom called Caitlin's mom, tried to block it. And Kyle was, you know, objecting.

And now you get the picture of a mom that doesn't want this relationship to happen. And the opposite happened. Right. As often does. At least in the after-school specials I was watching. Yes. And it culminated in an email that Kyle sent to the family, basically saying, I'm breaking up with you guys.

Whoa. And they're estranged. And the family, they blame it on Caitlin and all that. And so this is a story where it's like there is some there. But basically, I talked to an NBA scout whose team would have drafted Kyle Philopowski. And they're like, bottom line is you've got to be better than your problems. It's that sort of NBA scouting after. It makes sense. I think that's sort of, I mean, you both know sports much better than I do, but I imagine that's just sort of, I mean, not even in sports. That's probably true in every situation.

So it's sort of like this guy seems like a mess. And so we're not going to take him because he's not good enough to justify the accompanying mess that we believe to be there, even if, of course, this could be true love or something, you know, I don't know, stranger as a relationship dynamic goes. but it's just a story about how a kid has a significant other, a partner whose family he did not want to date. And that became the biggest story of the NBA draft. Wait, his family didn't, wait, what? I know what you meant, but I think you said something that was... Oh, hold on. What did I say?

You said a draft prospect whose family he did not want to date. Yeah, and I don't want to date my family. His family didn't want him to date her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a quick pick up. I got you. That's a quick pick up on that.

Sorry, Pablo's on this new dating website where it's all people he's related to. So it just gets very confusing. I've been feeling we're going to leave that in now. You guys have justified my error with a bit. As we do. Remind me, sorry, how old are they again? Kyle Filipowski is now 20. Okay, so she's 24, 25.

And she's in her late 20s? Late 20s? Yeah. 25, 27, 27, 28. Oh, my goodness. Okay. There is the age gap parallel insofar as it's a gender flip on this. Yeah.

Younger dude, older woman. And we tend to not take a gender flip as seriously as the other way around in certain areas. Of course. Men as victims of things like this. Yep. And again, is he a victim? This is where it gets to a... No, no, no, but these are the questions that prompted angry tweets from family members breaking their silence in public on NBA Twitter.

And also now this question of, but they're engaged and they're in love. it seems like, and maybe this is all like a family concern. The reason I throw it at your guys' direction is like, is there any part of a family doesn't want you to date this person and how that gets navigated and how that becomes disastrous? Is any part of that, dare I say, understandable how this happened? And I can say what it makes me think right away, It's not relatable to me insofar as I've always been better with the families of the people I date than even with the people I date.

The families always... Sometimes I stick around a little longer because I like the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moms love me. You're a performer. What's your handbook for charming? Well, you know what it is? It's just listening, brother.

Just listening, you know what I'm saying? Just hearing her out. If it's my mom, it's talking to her about me. You're in. If she says, oh, she always does this, go, I know, right? It's so annoying. You're in. She loves you. She'll text you after we break up. I have a son who is 15, and if he was like, dad, I have a girlfriend and she's 20-something,

I would be like, I'm going to lock you in your room. You're never going to see her again. Right. That's case closed on it. That feels very, that feels instantaneous to me. I'm wondering how he got able to, how this didn't get, for lack of a better word, like nipped in the bud sooner. If the child, if the now fiancé, as I guess we're calling her, was the daughter of her best friend. One of her good friends, yeah. How did this not, how was this not like,

you'll get your kid away from my kid? Like, I don't want, are we, is that friendship now severed? They don't probably. So, so, yeah, yes. And how this, is this, what is this, Romeo and Juliet? This love is so strong with these young kids that it's going to break up all existing social dynamic? Now flipping it around, having been a teenage boy,

I feel like if the first person I hooked up with in my entire life, I was like, well, this is, this is, nothing will ever be better than this. This is, I would kill for this person. So I could see how from his perspective, he's like, I kiss this person, I will go to war for her now. You know what I mean? I relate to that part. The part of like my first girlfriend, I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. That sort of like naivete. fundamental naivete.

What Kyle Philopowski has said, or at least what his mom says that he told her, is that when he got back from his senior year of high school, he told his mom for the first time that they were going to be, you know, a couple, that she would, the girlfriend would, protect him from other girls, drugs, and alcohol when he started college at Duke.

But the mother, according to her own accounting, was unsuade and began voicing concerns. She said she would protect him, from other... And that was a selling point for him? No. I'm not gonna let other girls get anywhere near you

and he was like forever. In college when you're on the basketball team? It's wild. I'm not understanding this at all. I mean... Well, he was a very focused young man. He had dreams of making the NBA and he was like, this is obviously responsible.

Do we know if his family is also quite religious or no? We don't know. Not as obviously. I know they have like... They're Catholic. Because I can see that being a selling point if you are, you know,

a commit committed to... Can I give you a little bit of a twist? I love a twist. I mean, this whole thing's been a twist. Just a genealogical twist. Oh, good. The best kind. We're going to find out that you're like part Puerto Rican right now.

Is that what's happening? He's no longer. Not Spanish anymore. Die. Kyle Filipowski has a twin brother. Okay. Who's also a basketball player. He went to Harvard, played basketball there.

That's how I knew of him in the first place, Matthew Philopowski. And so it's not merely that he has excommunicated his. you know, mom, mom nagging me. Like, this is, it's as intimate as I can't be with, like, my twin. I think when you're talking about having a basketball, a twin brother who is going to the league and you also played basketball and if you don't go to the league, it's just like physical evidence of like, you did not work hard enough. This exact copy of you did it and you couldn't do it.

Maybe he had different priorities. Maybe he's going to be, he's going to be a CEO. Maybe he's dating a much younger woman. Maybe he is going to. going the other way. And that is wonderful. No. And good for him.

I actually change my mind. I regret having said, can we cut? Can we cut this out? Who do I talk to? And while we're cutting, we could lose me not knowing that song was by Beyonce. Yeah.

I'm trying to give this the thought that it deserves. Spoiler alert. I don't have a moral to this story. Oh, you brought this for no reason? I just wanted to throw this at you guys. You wanted to bait us into saying problematic things. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are we in Scientology now? Is that what this is? That's how it happens. Oh my God. I feel so clear. I am grooming you guys. Wow. Wow. I've known this for a while, but I still keep showing up.

I think, I guess my general perspective on it is, young with old, not good. That's sort of my general POV. And I think like once the younger person is like 30, then whatever, then doesn't matter. If you want to, if you're a 30-year-old guy and you want to date an 80-year-old lady, I say, good for you. What if you're a 30-year-old lady Do you want to date an 80-year-old guy? If you want to do that? Good for you.

I say good for you. Good for you. If you're 15 years old, now I'm like... I think even the law frowns upon that. I don't think 15... I'm saying 15 and 80. The dicey... Oh, no, the law's actually fine with that.

It's a weird... Is there a loophole? You get grandfathered in. That's the origin of that? I don't think so. I don't think so at all. This is... Please just have something flashing on the screen that says we're joking.

Can we cut that out? No, I just feel like where it gets interesting, if you are on the internet as much as I am, is where when you get into the area of like 20s and 50s, people get very like, you're infantilizing these women or like, you know, but then there's a still part of you where you think about who you were when you were 21 and then somebody you know right now who's in their 50s

and you're like, what are those two talking about? How could they even possibly? What conversation? could they have? Right. So it's just sort of like Belichick was when I went like Oh yeah.

So thanks for waiting until you weren't our coaching more. I do appreciate that. But like what? How old is his girlfriend? 24? They met on a plane, I believe. And that's quite a story.

23. 23. And him. 23 and me. That's the name of his. That's the name of this. That's like regular. Yes, regular.

Not dog. Where it's actually, she's actually 40. She's 23. And he is. 72. 72, and that's also... And so it's like, yes, it's legal. Like, I always feel like people go,

what do you want? It's like, yes, no, it's legal. It's a moral question. It's legal. But what are we, what are we doing? Why, I need to see... I don't know, maybe I'm asking too much, but it's like, I'd like to see you guys genuinely,

let me sit in front of a camera for 20 minutes, let me watch. Not in a sexual way. Just like, let me watch you two exist together for 20 minutes. We're going to throw a topic out. Phones away. The two of you have to have a conversation for 10 minutes. I just want to walk.

And we'll all get to vote. Then I'll feel better. Yeah. But then I always, what I always have to try to remind myself is like what I look for in a partner is not necessarily what everyone is looking for in their partners. You're looking for a first runner-up for Miss Maine 2024, which is what Jordan Hudson is. That's her name. Is it Jordan?

How do you know it's pronounced Jordan? What are you looking at that convinces you it's pronounced that way? How it's spelled? Okay, go for. I want to. G-I-O-U-R. J? No.

Oh, R, D, O, N. The last letter is going to be N. But the one before that is in fact O. It's probably just Jordan. I think you're being, I think you're belaboring the point. I think it might be Jordan too. I think it's Jordan. I think it's Jordan who's never going to be able to pick out anything personalized at a Christmas tree shop.

Yeah, that's exactly right. Parents coming home with a key chain that doesn't have her name on it. Or that it says Jordan and they try to cross off the little top of the A. Been there. She might be 24 now. Oh, so then let me. Sorry, let me retract. I retract.

That's fine. I guess what I'm thinking is it's possible that it's fine. It is. I doubt it. I doubt it. And that's why I'm like, show me. Because I want to be like, now that is fun. You know what?

That's fine. She is an old soul. This one time. Not every time a creepier old guy goes, she's an old soul. But really her favorite singer is chubby checker and they should be together. It's weird. Look at her bedroom. She's got posters hanging up of insert old guy here.

She wears pleaded pants with suspenders, and this makes sense. I do feel like, and I feel like, I like the idea of if there's a certain age gap and we'd have to come to it as a society of like whatever it is. There should be an American Idol panel. If X is greater than that number, you got to sit before a panel of people and have a conversation. Just to make sure we're on the up and up. That's it. It should be like the voice where our chairs are all backwards and we just listen. That's exactly right.

And then. And if we think the conversation is suitable, we spin around. That's right. That's great. Are you guys writing this down? Yeah. These are good. These are ideas.

These are daytime Emmy award winning show. Don't cut this part. Loop. Is that something? Yeah, yeah. We're going to replay it. Loop it. That's something?

Is that something? He said it was. Can you loop it? Absolutely. Like play it over. Loop it. Play this part over the cut parts, I was thinking. Okay.

Now, that's weird. This is a little avant-garde, but I like it. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. I feel like we landed in a place. that did not cast total judgment, remained open to the possibility that maybe this is true love,

acknowledge the reality that this is a sort of story that does totally torpedo your NBA draft stock. Yes. And also provides some maybe context for a Utah Jazz season that should not be clouded by horrible Mormon grooming allegations. Yeah, I think, sir, we came to a sensible conclusion,

which is that these two people should sit before a tribunal of judges. That includes the three of them. us and perform their relationship. Yeah. So that we may decide whether or not they're allowed to keep kissing. Yeah. We get, that's what you, if you turn around, they're allowed to smooch.

That's, this is the smooch, maybe. Okay. Something to think about. Okay. Actually cut that. Guys, what did we learn today on Pablo Tori finds out a show about finding out things to learn? I learned that thing I thought I knew about Iceland is true. I don't know if we ever even finish talking about that,

but it's good to know I'm allowed to continue to say to people there's like basically a document or an app you can check to make sure that the other Thor's daughter that you're interested in is not the daughter of your Thor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're tracking all the Thor's. There is at the very least a Reddit thread attesting to a database. And so that maybe we, oh yeah, sorry, you're right, it was a Reddit.

No, no, no, hold on. USA Today. Back in us up. And that's real. I've played their crossword so I can confirm. New app helps Icelanders. is avoid accidental incest. Yeah, new app when? Just so I can...

2013. Wow. I've been having this knowledge. I wonder before the app how much accidental incest was happening. Enough to make an app. I learned, can I skip to me? I'm done with it.

Wow. Sure. I learned that on Ancestry.com, that your race can change, which I did not know that before, that it can be like, a week from now that could be like, we thought you were, you know,

Bolivian, but it turns out you're actually a Swede. Yeah. And that's fascinating to me. What did you learn? Did you say what you learned? Yeah, I learned what die is. Yeah, these are all related.

This happens every time. We pick something from the very first story and nothing ever gets learned from the second story. After the first five minutes, I'm completely tuned out to what either of you say. I was asleep. That's not totally true. Okay. You know? We leave that there.

Just leave that right there. Roll credits. This has been Pablo Torre finds out. A Metal Arc Media production. and I'll talk to you next time.