Pablo Torre Finds Out - Share & Christmas & Tell with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne (and Jordon Hudson)

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

In our year-end holiday spectacular, we get a visit from The Ghost of Podcast Future — and get increasingly loose: Has this show been ripped from the headlines? When did women start to stinkin'? Is Pablo the 50 Cent of journalism? And the tree is gone, but does the fire remain? Plus: legumes, gifts, 0.5x bonus points, Mad Dog's dildo policy, slingin' grease with Cletus... and hearing a smile.• Call our hotline: (513) 85-PABLO• Decorate our tree: 33°56'36.5"N, 118°20'38.7"W• Previously on PTFO: Debunking the Myths of Bill Belichick's Consigliere• Previously on PTFO: We All Have a Number• Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan"• Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne• Subscribe to Pablo Torre Finds Out on YouTube for bonus holiday content• Subscribe to Pablo's newsletter for exclusive access, documents and invites Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree. Right after this ad. Yeah. Up her mouth and under the table. What are we doing? Which are these do you want me to put on?

I'm down for all of them. the one that most speaks to you. Maybe I'll put this up because I don't want to put it. I don't want to obscure the... That's like a thing to put it around your neck if you so desire. Whoa. This? Yeah, man.

This gay garland? Hey. Hey. Y'all don't, I know you guys don't know Christmas Carols like I do. You guys, the studio looks fantastic. Thank you. I mean, you guys spared no expense. None.

We don't have a proper tree, but everything else... That's okay. We're in good shape. We pop in that or what? We got this. We pop in that? We have champagne. Do you know to open champagne? Know how to? In a room full of this much expensive equipment, I could try. In front of so many blinking lights and devices that could like compute us immediately.

You're a former bartender. Yikes. Yeah. And every time I had to do this, I'm got, we're not even near the step where that's going. Okay, everybody relax. Everybody relax. Why is this, why am I being tasked with this? You've got this because you have the- So let me talk you through our specials tonight. So we don't waste any time. We've got a lovely chicken marsala. That comes over pasta. You can choose between fetichini, linguine, or...

Where do we work? Where's this feel from? Oh, I don't know. I'm making this up. Oh, okay. She's de-gloving the champagne. Oh, there, it's happening. You got it.

You got it. It's so close. You got it. You got it. Grip, strength. Oh, God. You got it. Oh, my God.

This is the biggest cork I've ever had to pull out of a bottle. Give me one sec to take a breath. You got it. Yes. U.S.A. Ow. Great work. Hand is cramped.

Christmas year and spectacular. And then you sniff it. I sniff it. Why? Because I said. This is how we're starting our Christmas year and spectacular guys. Thanks for doing this. Here you go.

Michael, Katie. I... Are you abstaining? Are you pregnant? I don't like to drink. Give me a little bit. Not that. Like a drop of it.

Okay. You know why I don't like it? It's bad. Yeah. It's poison. That's plus, though, that's more than enough. I'll be, also, there's maybe like the, my genetic makeup, I will be drunk from this much. It will change my personality.

Are your cheeks going to get red? I don't think I flush, but I do get, I will go from animated and. I have. I have. I will go from animated and intelligent to completely useless. Oh, good. I love it. You sure you don't want a little more?

No, then I'll fall asleep. Cheers. Thank you guys for doing this. Yeah, thanks. Sincere, thank you for all the... Free labor. Free labor. Here's to us.

Here's us. We have gifts on the table. Yay, for us. You can't open them until the end. If these are something about Jordan Hudson and Bill Belichick, I'm going to walk out. Oh, shit. Let it be known and stated. I forgot the last thing.

You forgot the last thing. What's happening here? Jordan Hudson is underneath that. So the ghost of Christmas of podcast future. Okay. is a thing I want to contemplate. That's right. A silent, I believe in the story, a silent entity.

That does watch over us. It's going to be Jordan. It's going to be a fathead of Jordan. Yeah, dude. What's up, girly? What's up, girly? Were you able to purchase this someplace, or did you have this custom made? We had this made at FedEx.

Wow. And now, she's not wearing her canceled necklace. Is that the B? Is that a B, like a Barbie B? It's the band. The band. Oh, it says B. I thought it said can'ts. I forgot.

I'm sorry, Pablo. I don't watch these things back. You don't know the lore of ourselves? No, I'm usually pretty high when I'm here and nothing sticks. Do you know what I'm saying? Now, Pablo, this is where I'm going to say. I hope you got a plan for this episode because this is what we're bringing. Yeah, that's what we got.

This is what we have. Unfortunately. Nothing. Huh? That's pretty much it. Sweet. Another hour of this, baby. Part of the reason I wanted to have both of you here is not just because I want to say thank you as my friends.

doing this and trusting us every time you show up here, not knowing what's underneath various surfaces and or inside of boxes and or behind you. And or stuck to the table. Have you guys seen Ellsbeth? I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it yet. Well, you have come to the right podcast taping. Yes.

Yes. All Elsbeth. Yes. Can you explain what Elzbeth is anyone? No. Not me. Who can do this? Okay.

I think it is about a woman. She's like a DOJ lawyer or something And through a consent decree Has been assigned to work with these Like NYPD? Is that? Is all this wrong? So what I know...

Wyatt Sinnack explained it to me And I didn't understand it. Wyatt Sinnack is a big Elspeth fan? Why Sneck is a huge Elspeth fan apparently. This is the right reaction to learning. No, it's shocking to everybody. I was at a thing. I saw Wyatt Sannack.

I started talking about... We were talking about this podcast. I told him about Elsbeth. And he was... I was like, oh, I watch Ellsbeth. And then he explained. You watch Al'sb? And I was like, if I had to think of one person, in my mind, when I conjure.

In a draft of the last people on the planet, I would take Wyatt probably first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, he was saying that's a woman with a consent decree who's now assigned to work with the cops. That's where you got the phrase consultant. I don't know what it means, but I know that it's involved. A consultant detective for the NYPD, CBS Prime Time earlier this month, there's an episode. and the episode involves a young character whose name is Peyton Ramsey.

Peyton Ramsey. Peyton Ramsey. I should interrupt to tell you guys, I think I'm drunk. Okay, carry on. I've barely more than smelled this champagne and I think I'm feeling a little drunk. She's a precocious young character

who may or may not be based on someone who may or may not be looming behind Katie Nolan at this moment. She is being described, by some podcasters. What? And her boyfriend happens to be an older college coach

that may seem similar to certain characters we have covered on this show even though he is a college basketball coach at a place called St. Ivan's University. Clearly basketball is like the last thing on this man's mind right now. You're acting like we don't know

exactly who to blame. Dude, I feel like if I mention her name, she'll put a hex on my ding-doll. She's not Voldemort, man. She might be. We're talking about the biggest story in sports right now. Don't say her name. Peyton Ramsey.

I said it. Well, now she's going to hex your ding-com. Good thing you never use it. Hey, speaking of that, today's podcast is brought to you by Shapescape. Fellas, you know how bad it hurts when you're using clippers down there and you catch a bit of script. Oh, she was listening to the podcast. She was listening to the podcast. Wow.

So the three of us have been, in this rip from the headlines, mushed into two dudes. into two dudes using weird tones to talk about it. Well, I should say for the audio-only audience so far, a couple of revelations. Right. Payton Ramsey slash Jordan Hudson is Asian. She's played by a Vietnamese actress. Lanna Condor, what a name.

What a fucking name. Lanna Condor? Which sounds absolutely like a supervillain. That's a supervillain's, not even an alias. If I may, and this is editorializing, immediately more stylish. than her inspiration. You know, cooler.

She walked into the room, I was like, oh, so cool lady. Now, we don't know anything about her character. But I just, you know, when Jordan walked into a room, I don't think I went like, whoa. I went like, well, she's got, you know. So anyway, back to this. Have you listened yet? Hey, beautiful.

Listen to what? We can't let these guys keep talking about us like this. You know my media policy. Pay, just tune it out. Focus on the fundamentals. These guys have millions of followers, okay? And by the way, they're still quoting inside sources, which means that your players are still DMing them.

Ah, what I told you that I don't know what DMing means. Anyway, listen. Pay, come on. Deep breath, okay? I will reiterate our media policy at the next team practice. Thank you. Also, I had some thoughts about some of the guys with socials, but I don't want to overstep.

No, no, no, no. I think it's a great idea. I'm sure that the guys would appreciate your advice. Thank you, babe. Thank you, thank you. He's got Palpatine hands. Yo. Yo.

Less of that would be fine by me. Millions of followers. That's nice. That is nice. We're going to round up. To the nearest million. We're just going to round up. To any million.

As the white here, is it kind of f***ed up they appropriated your Asianness for the? The victim. I'm glad you specifically said that. I think they did this as a chess move. Right. Do we ever see the podcasters? I guess is my question.

I bet they're like just disbodied voices. They sound white. Wait, are we going to see, are we going to watch more of this? We are going to watch more of this because the face that Michael has pointed to here. Yeah. This is a character, Michael, that I need you to come clean on. Okay, I'm going to tell you the God's honest truth. I auditioned.

I'm pretty sure. I haven't heard this character talk yet. Crazy. But I'm pretty sure I auditioned to play this character. Crazy. Now, can I ask, as somebody's never read for a part, what you mean by you think you were going to be? Right.

I'm not positive. I haven't seen the guy talk yet. But if that's the AD... Oh, if he's the AD. I auditioned to play this role, I'm pretty sure. So we need to establish some things for people who did not watch all of the episodes we've done this year. And what the hell's your problem?

First of all. Who would that be? What in the F is going on with you? Who among... Excuse me. Who among us has not watched every episode? And listen, I'll do a watch, and then I go back and I listen to see if there's anything that plays better. On 0.5.

On 0.5x. Listen, on 0.5X. You get bonus points. You get retention bonus points if it's slower. Michael is an actor. I know that part. I know that part. No, and don't do that because he's actually a very good actor.

He's an incredible actor. Half of his face was in Severance. Yep. We can forget that. Hang on, my whole face, but only for half a second. And then the rest of it was just your voice. blocked by the main character's head, which I said could be that you're the main character. I might be the star of severance for all we know.

Yes. I mean, who knows? Twists are coming. Twists are coming. He was in cable news hit on severance. That's right. Arguing about the severance procedure. That's right.

Yeah, tell him. He also had a line that got cut from succession. That's right. And I believe that line was, and I don't know if we have time for the whole line, but I believe it was, hey, capon, and that was cut. Great. So that's, that's, and you kind of got my whole acting career kind of encapsulated in that. You got a script for this audition, but you haven't seen the thing that they wound up making.

I haven't seen the thing, but I mean, when I got it, I was immediately like, oh my God. If you watched everything that didn't, that was a party didn't get, he'd be busy all day, you know what I'm saying? What the fuck, dude? What the fuck? Why am I high-fiving you? I don't know. I don't know, but thanks. I got the script and immediately, I was like, oh, this is like vaguely about me.

Very vaguely. I was going to say, so. Is this play about us? Yeah, totally. So I haven't seen that show, but... You haven't? No. Did you audition?

No. Oh, damn. Yeah, I was supposed to be the... Am I saying it right? Zendaya? Perfect. That was my part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would like you to turn to your cellular telephone. Who? Just him? Just Michael. Okay. Because we have texted you an opportunity. Okay, these, I believe... Now, are these lines actually in the show?

Well, I need you to deliver them for our audience and for us, please. Okay. And then we can see what it got up here. How did you get this? Well, don't worry about that. That is what I do professionally. Right, he finds out. I just wanted to be clear that I did not send you this script.

Correct. So you got to do your own thing. You clearly just got texted. That's smart. That is smart. You could have put him in a pretty bad spot. I didn't send it to you. Look at us, dude.

Somebody did. Excuse me. You want me to read these lines? Yeah, you're auditioning for the role of Dave, who is the general manager. Oh, GM. St. Ivan's University. Okay. Here we go. You have turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser, posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials.

You have single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do is lose his number, but I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the only thing I can do. Banning you from the premises. It is about us. Like the necklace. The play is about us. Just like the necklace.

Yeah, throw more stuff. You crushed that. It was good. I would have given you the part. I don't know what the fuck. See, I would want another take. It didn't feel great. Here's what it looked like on CBS.

You turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser. Posing for selfies. Doing sandwich commercials. You single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do would be to lose his number. But I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the one thing I can do. I'm banning you from the premises.

Now he's doing a lot He did it different He did it different And I love it I love it That character who is inspired by Mike Lombardi Another character we have

reported on on this show And thank you for doing that Have I told you that in person yet? You haven't Thank you for that episode Because There's a lot in that episode Yeah

He is as that episode revealed The person who communicated To others That Jordan Hudson was banned And so when Michael Cruz can audition for the role of Mike Lombardi. Yeah.

After participating in the episode in which we report such things in this ongoing saga, it is also worth pointing out maybe that that character, I'm just making sure that this is correct. Spoiler alert, dies.

Oh! You die? I mean, I didn't, I think I only got one scene. So the Belichick character kills the Lombardi character. Oh my God, that's so much better than what's happening in real life. That's like such a juicy It makes for a better episode of Elzbeth.

The sequel to all of this, of course, is that in real life, last month, Jordan Hudson said a couple things to us engaging with us. Just you mostly. It's really just you. It's kind of like the positive and negative of this is like, I'm in these clips, but I'm not really getting anything for it. Like, there's nobody's

coming for me. We're mostly here to be like, oh, shi! Holy shi! Holy shit! Well, you don't say. You specifically are responsible for some crazy shit now. Yeah. We, as a show, as a show as a family, we were named to the Apple podcast top 10 lists. Oh, that was awesome.

That was us. That was we. That was we. Absolutely. And Jordan Hudson on November 19th at 8.45 a.m. said, quote, you're welcome, period. I mean. And we thank her for it. And thank you, I guess.

She's not 100% wrong. She's a fractionally, absolutely helped. Yeah. Jordan Hudson went on Instagram. on November 23rd and posted a photo of her wearing the band necklace and the caption is, just one of the great uses of Instagram ever. P.S. I'm suing you hardhands.

Yeah. P.S. I'm suing you at PSTRA Heart Hands. Heart Hands. I checked with the University of North Carolina and they said that they are not involved with any of her festival litigation. Oh, you're doing real. I just got to say that.

Did she sue you? Oh, yeah. No. No, she didn't sue you. I haven't gotten the letter or anything. Maybe it's a new year thing. Maybe it's something for 20. I know I've been backed up trying to get presents and trying to pre-tape for the... So she might be...

It might be coming in Q1. I'm like, I mean to sue people, but then I'm like... I'm scrolling and scrolling. It's the scrolling. I'm way behind on lawsuits. The number of people. I'm coming for you just next year. Everyone I've threatened it is happening.

It's coming. And I say to that heart hands. I'm going to sue you. And a happy Christmas. I'm going to see you. I'm a sue you. I'm going to sue you. I'm out of water, you know what that means.

He's drunk. Your boy's getting wrecked. Well, we do have a thing that I want to promote because I do want people to know. I don't want people to know. Wait, why is this happening? Because this was brought up before. They're like, we're actually going to promote your podcast this time.

Now you're spoiling it. Sorry. Rewind. Go back and do it again. I won't say anything. Kate. Kate. What's her call her?

Kate. Katie Nolan is on Sirius XM. She is the person that you listen to before Stephen A. Smith. That's so true. Which is a fact that I am so delighted by every time I think about it. I'm the leading. Mad Dog Sports Radio. Yeah.

The show is called fan service. You do, I think, what you are meant on this earth to do. Hell yeah. Which is field questions from almost always dudes. No, no, no, we have a lot of women that call. We have a lot of women that call. That's actually up, dude. That's a f*** up, dude.

That's a f*** up. We have a lot of women. I also think it's mostly sports radio not doing a ton to outreach to women and make them feel comfortable calling. Katie is changing the demographics around who calls it, is what I dare say. Yeah. I could just open the phone lines and make it like a hotline. It's really good. The goal is for it to be a hotline.

People can call me and ask about any sport. There are sometimes where I go like, yo. What's the number they can call? 8 at 8 Mad Dog 6, from noon to 1 Eastern. Monday through Friday. I'm doing this. I just, there's,

there's days, sometimes, sometimes they'll call about, like, rugby, and I'm like, well, let me Google this. I don't know.

I don't, not an expert in everything. When they call about rugby, they're asking, they're trying to get a take from you on the rugby? Sometimes, sometimes people will ask for very specific takes

and I'm like, I don't have a take on this. I'm very honest, if I don't know the answer, I don't know the answer, but like, you know, an hour is kind of difficult to do, I'm not here monologuing

every day about sports. So I'll give you my takes if I have some, but then I just open up the phone lines and basically just talk to people. It's a perfect vehicle for everything that you do. It really is. Thanks. Why is this happening?

Is this your gift to me? No. In lieu of payment. The gift is on the table. I'll promote your show. No, there's a gift on the table. That is your gift. This is not your gift.

This is an excuse to segue to the fact that we also have a voicemail hotline. Oh! 51385 Pablo. People call it. We haven't been... Minor live phone calls, but this is kind of the same thing. Keep going. It's the same.

This is better in some ways. I just want to be clear. Miner live phone calls. Today someone said dildo on air. We didn't know what to do. We dumped it. Is that the policy? You dumped it?

As soon as he was like, or a rubber dildo, it was like, bloop hung up. And there was nothing. I just had to go, well, that'll sit there. There's no delay. There is, but it's serious.

So you can curse. Well, it's comedy, too. Yeah, but it's that it's, you know, Mad Dogg runs the station. So he likes to keep it family-friendly. It's very anti-dildo policy. He's very anti-dil-dil-old. Yours are voicemails, which are different.

I can't keep it together. guys, I'm drunk. I know, me too. We've received almost, oh, no, exactly, 499 voicemails this year. Can we go through them? It'd be funny if you said almost 499. Some of them, by the way. They're very kind, and we appreciate them.

For instance, this one. Hey, Bobo Torre. This is Tony P. The military member is called several times. I just want to call again to give you guys flowers. I continue to be both educated. and inspired by the work that you and the team is doing there, especially this last episode with the Trans Center.

My child is trans, and this one touched home a lot. So thank you for doing this story. Anyways, appreciate what you guys do. Love all the things you guys do. And fuck Nick Wright. Oh, my God. Okay. So that guy, that guys.

Okay. It's just a heartfelt message. Other voicemails are from people that you may have heard of if you pay attention to sports. If we're going to get to Jordan giving up voice. Hey, Pablo, this is Tim Donaggy. I was wondering if you had a couple minutes to speak to me. My number's 9-5-6.

Thank you. It does appear to be the real Tim Donagy, the disgraced NBA referee at the center of one of the largest scandals in sports history. Calling your voicemail? I do owe him a callback. You should call him back. You bet you do. It's okay. It's not a tip line, guys.

No, it is. It is a tip line. But also, you can submit questions. and we get questions from regulars at this point. For instance, there's a guy, and I just want to make this clear. We did not invent this character. He's a real guy. His name is Cletus.

He is from Navarre. Fox? Oh. What? I was going to say the Fox football robot is named Cletus. I just realized that it's like Cleetis. Cleet us, yeah. Okay.

You're welcome. Back to you. Pablo. And we're back to Pablo with sports. Cletus, the human and not the giant robot. Superimposed giant. No, he's real. So chill out.

This one is from Navar, Florida. Hey, Pablo. Cletus and Navar, Florida. I've got a question. Maybe you can find out. All these body spray commercials on the TV, I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Maybe you can find that out.

It's a conspiracy. Did I understand the question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Cletus has a really good perspective we should consider. Okay. He's saying, if you listen to it, Yeah, I did. Which we have to.

Cletus is... Played again. All these body spray commercials on the TV. I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Maybe you can find that out. It's a conspiracy. Yeah, we heard it. When did women start to stinking?

Maybe you can find that out. I think he's saying, when did this problem emerge? Because he has not experienced the issue. Cletta's asking kind of an enlightened question. I think Cleetus is super woke. Yeah, I think Cleetus is like, ladies, you smell just fine to me. Go ahead and sit on my face without any insecurity. Well, why is society telling all of you ladies that you stink now?

Yeah, it's fair. But everybody's been stink. Just in case the question is just the question, we've all been stinking forever. We've all been stinking forever. Am I shouting? No. Okay. No.

Kind of. Okay. No. I'm wasted. Yeah. That is. We have more? I'd like to hear more from Cleetus.

Hold on. I'd like to get Cletus on the line, please. Call him up. All right. Hold on. Let's see if we can do that. Wait, what? That's all you have. I'd like a million dollars, please. Area Code 334, that's the one. He's calling Cletus. I didn't agree to this. I don't know what.

He didn't have to really call Cleatheed. I was just talking. The fuck we're doing this for! What are we going to do when we get him? Pablo's going to take it. If he doesn't answer, we're going to leave a voicemail. At the tone, please record your message. When you finished recording, simply hand. hang up or press pound for further options.

Hey, Cletus, it's Pablo. From Pablo Torre, it finds out. Cletus! Thank you so much for calling us so many times this year. You've called us... So many. Eight times. You've asked us about a lot of things.

You asked us about what happened to Tom Hankson castaway. I don't have the answer for that. He got stuck on an island. Okay. No, he got out. Katie Nolan has an answer for when did women start to stinking? No, I don't. No, I don't.

I don't know the answer. But I just wanted to say, I love your work as a robot. in football. This is now a podcast for one guy. I know. This is a podcast for Cletus. This is the Cletus episode now. We love you, Cletus.

We love you, Cletus. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. Merry Christmas, Cletus. It's the year of the Fire Dragon, 2026. What is it? What? That's what I heard.

And scent. Nice. Okay. Well, that sucked. Maybe I'll call us back. We have another voicemail, I'm told. Nice. A 500th voicemail to our detective agency hotline,

51385 Pablo. Hey, Pablo. Andrew Streeter. I just wanted to send a little Christmas cheer your way with a new little ditty just for you. Hope you enjoy it. Happy holiday style. Pablo Torre just dropped a nuke.

This is an explosive report from Pablo Tori. Pablo Tori, who is sports batman. Pablo Tori is the 50 cent of journalism. Pablo Torre is like a different type of animal. And I hope that boy Pablo Tori got some good security, Because he getting too close to open a Pandora's box, bro. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Share and tell.

Cool eyes not planning tree watching. And athlete branded wood. Bell at Shacks hard, my smelling. Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world. That was exhilarating. It was good. Was that Jeremy? Did that song?

Who did that song? Who made that song for you? That is Andrew Streeter. Oh. Who is a prolific songmaker. He's made songs for Dan's show. Wow. I like that you directionally sneezed into my cup.

I don't think that this episode has started. I'm getting a little concerned. We're almost ready. We're warming up. Okay, starting the episode in three. So one thing that I do want to explain from the song that we played is that I have been called by Fred Toucher, the 50 Cent of Journalism. I know that voice. That's Boston Sports Radio.

Hold on, I'm being told we have one more voicemail. Yeah. So Pablo Tori is the 50 cent of journalism. Oh, no. Pablo. New York City. Anything you need for me, baby. You gotta love it.

Oh. We're all here for you. We got your back. You reach out. So here's the thing. Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about the world of birdwatching? Colons of perfumes by celebrities or Bill Bell.

that checks Airbnb. Girl, you might as well tell me now as Bobo Tori finds out, no doubt. Whoa. You can't hide the truth from me, girl. You might as well tell me now. Woo. As Bobo Tori finds out.

Oh. No doubt. Yeah. You can't hide the truth from me. Is Janus missing free throws for free chicken? Wow. It's our next president and alien and Russell Wilson. Okay.

Pause it. Cletus is calling. Whoa! I'm so sorry Andrew Streeter, hold on. Hold on. This episode is so loose. Hey, Cletus. Can you hear me? Is this Pablo Torres? Yes!

Cletus! You're here with me and Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz-Cain. We're taping our year-end Christmas spectacular. Oh, wow. Oh, wow, he says. What are you doing right now? I'm just driving around the panhandle of Florida, man. Man, slinging grease.

Hell yeah. Sling in Greece. Can you explain a little bit more what that means? Because I'm from New York City, and I've never slung a single grease intentionally. Well, I work for a company where we recycle used cooking oil from restaurants, hotels, whatever. I'm big into recycling. And so I go around and I give away free containers to restaurants. And we take all their oil instead of it going into a landfill.

And we make it into diesel fuel that's even worse for the environment. Bob, Lou, you have no idea. Like, it's missed my birthday today. What? Clean eyes. Yes, Cleetus. One time, I sent you a message, Paul. So my daughter is married to her high school sweetheart.

He's Filipino. What? Clean eyes. I don't really like. I tried to get you to, well, I was going to try to get you. you to officiate their wedding after you did Dan Lepidars. Oh, yeah. My daughter shut that down.

Oh, my God. That's so funny. Yeah, I was like, but we have all kinds of, because we had a Filipino spread. Filipino food is my favorite food now. Hell yeah. Cletus. Cletus, hold on, hold on. I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no. You should know. I am only interrupting you to know that Filipino food, like you professionally, loves to sling grease. Absolutely. I know. Le Chon. I mean, I'm a fan boy, dude.

Y'all called the worst person if you didn't want adulation. Because I am like, Katie Nolan, I wish I was there that night with y'all smoking bowls, man. Hell yeah. I mean, I love New York. That's my town.

Because when I go up there, everybody hears my accent, and they want to sell me bridges and stuff. Like, they want to lead me down dark Alex and sell me fake Versace stuff. Fake leather jackets. Out of the trunk of their car. Out of the trunk of cars.

I'm real big on Canal Street. I ain't a lot to you. Nice. Hell yeah. Cletus. Cletus, I will, I presume your daughter's already been married, but if you ever have another wedding for me to officiate, I will use the powers vested in me by the Universal Life Church to absolutely do that.

Oh, my God. Well, my other daughter. she's engaged to a white boy. He's really white. I know. His name is Sterling. Oh my God. Whoa.

He doesn't like, he doesn't like lagoons. He doesn't like legumes. Legumes. It's a breaking point with me, too, because being Southern, I was poor growing up, and every day, we came home to a pot of beans and some cheap meat. So that's like comfort food. me, you know, and I'm like, dude, if you ask for my daughter's hand in marriage, I'm going to make you eat some beans. Legumes.

Okay, okay, that's where I made the, I thought he said legumes. Legumes, I get it now. Beans. Beans. Beans. Yeah. Yeah. Katie.

So, I'm a big feminist. I know that sounds weird. A man that sounds like I did being in the South, but I did raise two daughters that are very important. To me, in my family, and anyway, I've noticed on the TV in the last year that they don't talk about men stinking, but women all of a sudden stink. I don't know women that stink. So I really am offended. I'm offended by it. Like, you know, it's just, it's like, why?

I mean, because I'm a whole lot more duse to smell. Same. You know what? You know what I'm finding out here? Cletus does sling grease. Yeah. But he himself is also pretty slick. Yeah.

Wow. Really good, Pablo. If any of y'all ever get to the Florida panhandle, please keep my number. I live on Navar Beach. Man, we'll have a good damn time. Hell yeah. And I'm not a weirdo. I got a wife in 30 years and my, y'all don't have to stay with me.

But if y'all ever get down here, let me cook you some lunch or take you out. Quetus. Yes, Cleetus. We're getting beans with Cleetus. 100%, please. I'll eat beans with you all day. We got a Filipino restaurant down here. What?

Pablo, you got to try. All right. We're heading it up. At the risk of booking a flight within the next hour, in 2026, Cletus, I'll be feeling that you and I will talk again. I hope so. And I'll tell you, I can really hear you smile when you talk. I can tell you're a happy person.

You're always smiling when you're talking. That's why you're going to win that Peabody Award one day. Yeah, someday, Pablo. You know what? We love you, Cleetus. Pretty much the highlight of the entire day is us talking to you, Cletus. Welcome to the larger Filipino family. Oh, I got Panoi pride, man.

Yes. Oh, my God. Cletus, we really appreciate you calling us back. This is almost more than we could ever have dreamed. Drive safely. Yes. You made my day. Yay.

I don't know how many days you'll make, but I'm about to cry. You made my day. Oh, Cletus. You're going to make us cry, man. Cletus, I cannot thank you enough. I want to inform you that I've officially now in the last minute deputized you as our Florida pain handle correspondent. Nice. Which is, much like the jobs that Michael and Katie have.

Unpaid. Entirely unpaid work. As they say in our culture, salamat. Um, my-h-it-bye. Bye, Cleetus. Bye, Cleetus. Bye, Cleetus. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. Now, Pablo, if I could give you a note, you're bad of getting off. Yeah, we're on too long with Cleetus. I can't. I just fucking. The guys had to be in your ear, like, get out of here. You can't serve. This would not be the hour-long show.

I love Cleetus. He kept on. I like, Cleetus is perfect. It's not in any way on Cleetus. No, it's totally on you. You've got to get up. You've got to wrap it up. I think he actually had more to say about why you got to get off.

They said, we said, we said goodbye. Like, we gave you like six moments. You were going to have, you were going to pass the phone around. Should I get a door to open, you would have passed it to everybody. I'm going to call him back again, though. No, please, no. At least he has your personal phone number now. There wasn't a tree on the table, which was embarrassing for us.

What you should know, though, is that when we did our first aspiration Clippers investigation, it ended with a scene in which we planted a tree. The story of this, if you did not watch that episode, you really did. I guess I didn't. I thought I did. So the big crescendo of the episode was, in reference to the fact that Robert Downey Jr. was an aspiration endorser. That being, of course, the guy who played Iron Man in, you know, the Marvel movies. We decided to do the thing that Kauai Leonard and the Clippers did not do, which was actually plant a tree.

Kaui Leonard a fellow endorser of aspiration who had a no-show job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we planted a real tree in front of the Intuit Dome. That is Iron Man watering it. and the bad news is that someone ripped the tree out of the ground. My goodness. What? My goodness gracious. Who does that?

I thought you're going to show us evidence of that. Whomst among us? Jordan. The tree is gone, but the fire remains. The fire remains. That famous saying the tree is gone, but the fire remains. Also, we found the replacement. Oh, my God.

Who are you paying to be Iron Man? So Iron Man is a confidential source. Robert Downey, the third. Robert Downey the third, outside the Intuit Dome, this week, planting in the empty grave of our old tree. Oh, wow. They tried to bury us, but they did not know that we were seized. Did they need to be watered like that? We're not quite sure.

Right. But it's now, you know, it's L.A. It's L.A. You would think Iron Man would have something in the suit that would do the watering. Oh, he's going to put lights on it? Yeah, so, you know, for carbon footprint reasons, we're not going to plug these in, but there are lights to begin to decorate them. I want everybody to know that we encourage you here to go and decorate the tree. At the Intuit Dome?

At the Intuit Dome, we're going to provide the GPS coordinates. It is 33, what is that, punctuation mark? Degrees. 33 degrees, 56. Yeah, me neither. Why are you reading this? Apostrophe, 36.5, quotation mark north. Perfect. 118 degree 20 apostrophe 38.7 quotation mark

W for West. Perfect. Really good stuff. We encourage you to go and do that. Michael, we'd like you to open out loud the GPS coordinates. Michael, we'd like you to open your gift first. Which one's mine? It's the one on the top.

The little one. Okay. With the same ribbon that I believe was used for when we unboxed the Jordan. The Tiffany. That's just a total thing. Okay. So. Can you describe what your opening?

The mixed race guy gets a much smaller gift. It's small. Oh my God. What the fuck is that? This is a hamburger. Oh, my God. This is a hamburger that has been sitting in this. How long is that been in here? How long? Honestly, we've been taping for probably a little too long for this to totally be paid off with you eating it.

I can't believe how much it smells like a hamburger in here. Same. But it didn't smell like one in here. Can you rotate it so I can guess who made it before you eat it? Can you pop it open maybe? I'm not doing that. It's not shake shack. You can do it if you want.

It's totally edible. I mean, we just got it. We just got it when. That is a... It has a... The density of the burger is... It defies all logic. If you held this, you'd be like,

it's crazy how heavy it is. Are you gonna eat it? Because then you know... Okay, I don't have to slap it in my hand. But doesn't it feel like you're holding an obelisk? Let me see that. A space rock? What?

Do you think it's a nude shake-shack burger? Now we've gone too far? This, this is the line? It's crazy that old gum freaked you out. and a wrapped up old-ass burger. That we handled around the tail. There's an onion on your thigh. It's just like relatively new.

Yeah. From whence? No. I'm just saying it's actually good. Katie, it's time for you to open your gift. Woo-hoo. Give me. Give me.

Give me. Whoa, heavy. Give me, give me. Oh, my God. Is this going to be an omnicorn? Because that's what it feels like. That's exactly what it feels like. Is this actually just for you to have?

And I'm just going to... What the fuck? Mine costs so much more than yours, which is crazy. Yours was a burger and Pablo's eating it. Mine is an Omnicord. The optics of Michael's gift are not great. Yeah, it's not good. There is onion now on the microphone.

Ew. Wait. You have to burn that microphone. This has to be for you, Pablo. And I'm just holding it as for the show. And then when the show's over... There's a strap. Wait, you bought her an Omnicort?

It's like a thousand million dollars. That's crazy. Why would you do that? I mean, you do owe me. I was going to say, like I. But actually, if I had an option, I think it would have taken the cash. This ain't going to learn how to do. I mean, the bad news.

The bad news is you can't take the cash. The good news is there is a stunningly vibrant Omnicourt secondary resale market. Okay. Hell yeah. But until then. This is so nice. Until then. Who actually bought it?

Who actually did it? Unfortunately, it was. You? Keith Oberman. That's somebody. Jesus Christ. We have reached the end of the show, and there's only one way to end our year. It's with me holding a burger and Katie Nolan holding her Omnichord.

To fix you. And Michael Cruz-Cain also holding his Omnichord. Michael, where's your Omnichord? I brought my... At Pablo's request, I brought my Omnicord. Let's... Oh, good soundtrack for the unzipping of Michael's Omnichord. And then if you want to make your thing stop making sound, you got it.

That's the button I always remember. And then just in here, you know, when you're in the chord. Great. And then we're saying M is what? What are we saying is... Stop. E.M with a star is what? What's the star?

I don't know what the star is, honestly. Be home... Maybe it's diminished, but we don't have that here, so... Home for Christmas. Oh, shit. You got it. Who can count on you? Guys are sound, this is...

Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree Christmas Eve will find You got it, dude. Where the love might be home for Christmas. Something bad, that. Oh, it wasn't wrong.

Am, A7. If only in my dreams. Fuck. Who's fucking me? Who's fucking me? This has been Pablo Torre finds out. A Metal Arc Media production.

And I'll talk to you next time. So Pablo Torre is the 50 cent of journalism. Pablo, anything you need for me, baby. We're all here for you. We got your back. You reach out. So here's the thing.

Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about? the world of bird watching, Colognes and perfumes, buy celebrities or Bill Belichick's Airbnb. Girl, you might as well tell me now as Bobo Tori finds out, no doubt,

you can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now as Bobo Tori finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me. Is Janus missing free throws for free chicken? Is our next president an alien and Russell Wilson? Why does the FBI director play so much hockey? Was Malik Beasley gambling before Milwaukee?

Want to hear about the NFLPA? Salaries in the WMBA. The Nix failed the Bronn recruitment tape. Did you know that TRL was fake? Girl, you might as well tell me now as Pablo Tori finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me, girl. You might as well tell me now

As Pablo Tori finds out, no doubt You can't hide the truth from you. Anything you need for me, baby. Bobo Tori, the greatest sports journalist in the world.