Pablo Torre Finds Out - Share & Cool & Tell with David Dennis Jr. and Mina Kimes
Episode Date: May 30, 2025Are athletes trying too hard to generate “aura”? Is Aaron Judge too big to be cool? Is a decidedly unc wardrobe an asset or liability for Jalen Hurts? The inaugural PTFO Coolest Athlete Draft reve...als all.Further content:• Toward a Unified Theory of Uncool (Ock Sportello)https://www.neverhungover.club/p/toward-a-unified-theory-of-uncool• Subscribe to the Mina Kimes YouTube Channelhttps://www.youtube.com/@minakimes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I'm Pablo Torre, and this episode of Pablo Torre finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin 1738, Accord Royale.
Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities, please drink responsibly.
Because today, we're going to find out what this sound is.
Are any of us cool? Do you think if people did the exercise we're about to do,
they would say any of us are actually cool?
Right after this ad.
We're listening to Draft Kings Network.
This is a nice Around the Horn off ramp
I get to hang out with you guys.
I'm finding myself missing companionship.
Wednesdays is usually when I do Around the Horn.
I was thinking about that, actually.
As someone who didn't attend the Around the Horn Conference,
there have been a lot of tributes, I should say,
to a show that we owe a lot to.
I don't think I went to an Around the Horn conference call
in a decade.
So as long as we can skip that part, I am down to refashion what we missed into this.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know when I stopped attending the conference call, but I definitely, Pablo was like the bad example to me.
I was like, why am I doing this?
Pablo's not doing it.
I'm also on West Coast time.
This is, by the way, this is how David realizes, oh, shit, I could have not done the conference call.
The whole time.
Oh, I knew the whole time.
But, you know, hey, I was like, you know, being a good steward.
I'm just the cool.
Look, as we will get into, I'm just the cool guy.
I'm Bart Simpson, you know, just skateboarding, spray painting stuff.
Are any of us cool?
Do you think if people did the exercise we're about to do,
they would say any of us are actually cool?
Well, we did last gather to do an entire episode about the X-Men animated series,
It's cool.
I think it's cool.
Don't get cooler than that, guys.
I think that there are some people out there
who think that the three of us are cool.
I think there are more people
who would laugh at those people.
Have you ever been cool?
Was there ever a point in your life
where you felt like you were cool?
When did you peek in coolness?
Probably like third grade.
Third grade.
Yeah.
Wow.
Mina, what are you?
You're picking college?
It's definitely college for me, 100%.
But a lot of that is because how cool you are is a product of your surroundings, right?
And so going to college for me, my cool factor on a relative basis skyrocketed from high school to Yale.
David's nodding like you had a similar experience.
Absolutely.
I'll just say that I went to school with a bunch of dorky white kids, the small liberal arts school.
I was the coolest guy.
Am I cool now?
Yeah.
I went, like, the pendulum swing so drastically from high school to college.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
This is also where I need to remind people, Mina, that David Dennis Jr.
is a former beer pong partner of his classmate at Davidson, Steph Curry.
So he is both observer and participant.
So that was, he wasn't cool when I was there either. So that was, he wasn't cool to like the last two weeks of my time of Davidson.
But David, David Dennis Jr. was the original Splash Brother.
This is a reporting fact. This is real. This is not an exaggeration.
Also, I am now banning officially Nick Wright. I just want to say, fuck you, Nick Wright. You're off the show. We can get into that a separate time.
Based on cool, you're banning him because he's not cool.
Well, Mina, also because he did this to you today.
Do you have any other meaty beefs going on right now at present?
For the eighth straight year, first things first, was not nominated for Best Studio Show Weekly at the sports Emmys.
When I saw the list of nominations, I don't remember all of them, but one of them was NFL Live, hosted by one of my media rivals, Mina Kimes.
And when I saw they won, I was very happy.
because I think that they do a really good job,
and I think Mina's excellent.
Obviously, I don't think she's as good as me at anything,
but I do think she is excellent,
and I was happy she won't.
Is this why he's trying to grow his hair like Mina's,
or is that different?
Nick Wright has been trying to do this whole rivalry thing
with me now for four or five years,
and honestly, it's a lot of,
like, I don't know.
What's a good comp?
It's giving Kobe Stopper,
Ruben Patterson-era Kobe Stomber.
Wow.
That's what I'm getting from it.
I saw a tweet that when Brock Purdy signed his contract
where they were like, Brock Purdy joins like rivals Josh Allen
and like,
maybe that's,
Probri's great.
Nick's great.
But like, come on.
Let's get real here.
Yeah.
Both Mr. Irrelevant, I dare say.
His show is really good.
All right, fine. Let's start the actual show.
So the thing I wanted to start with, guys, is, in fact, a case study in cool.
And it started on Substack, which is not the coolest place for things to start.
But there's an anonymous author who goes by the handle of Ox Portello, which is, I believe, a reference to inherent vice.
Already setting sort of like the highbrow kind of illusion standard here.
We know we're hearketing back when David, we asked David to read this.
David, your initial review of the piece was in brief?
I don't know, like, have the references that he made in the article.
So I had to look up what is, what's the vape thing that everybody's doing?
Zin.
Zin.
Yeah.
The Zinn and Zintranet.
I don't know what that was.
I didn't read the cut article that was referenced in there.
It was, like, a subsection of the Internet that I'm not familiar with at all.
You know, white people have culture, too, David.
Thank you, Mina.
That's sort of where I was.
It was very much like this is...
All cultures matter.
All cultures matter.
But the thing that got this going viral around the NBA Internet, at the very least,
was one statement in particular that I think is consensus,
and it was articulated thusly, quote,
For as long as I can remember, the NBA has served as a cultural North Star,
these NBA playoffs portend a crisis of cool.
And he goes on to analyze Jalen Brunson and Tyrese Halliburton and Shaygildes Alexander,
categorizing them as uncool, which I would like us to discuss.
Anthony Edwards sort of sticks out as, quote, the exception proving the rule of cool,
that actually he is somebody who is so alone in his coolness that the others who are variously,
I would say, try-hard meme lords who seem to be imitative of pre-year-old.
previous imitations even.
There was a bunch of that.
And so I just want to start,
Mina, by actually articulating,
what do we mean by Cool?
How do we even define this?
Because, yes, it is one, I believe,
white blogger's opinion that the categories flow as such.
But I do think there's something he's getting at here
that's worth talking about.
So, Cool is a perfect debate subject
because no one can actually define it.
Cool is truly in the eye of the beholder.
However, when he says something like
Therese Halbert and J.
John Brunson are not cool. Anthony Edwards is cool.
I imagine we all nodded as we read that
because it immediately reads as correct.
So starting from that point, it's not just about play.
I think we can all agree upon that.
There's a certain vibe, what the kids call, aura.
I would argue this piece,
gets at something that is both true
and does actually help us arrive at a definition of cool.
when he talked about how a lot of these guys,
and he mentioned Halliburton and, of course, Tatum,
their sense of what is cool is just kind of meming other things, right?
It's derivative.
I think cool is original.
I think part of the reason why Adanthi Edwards feels cool
is because he does not seem to be emulating anyone either,
you know, in his sense of self, the way he speaks, what he...
In fact, he thinks he's better than...
everybody, which doesn't, that in itself, you don't have to be, you know, super egotistical or
whatever.
But he was almost too cool for basketball, I mean, he was a quarterback, right?
He played football.
He was like, football is actually the thing that I'm, like, great at for a while, you know?
He was too cool for Barack Hussein Obama.
He looked at Obama and said, stand down, son, like he was a 12-year-old child.
Hey, yo, Kay.
Laban.
Oh, my.
This is, are y'all talking to this young man?
because he just keeps on, right now he just said he's the truth and all that.
The truth, the whole truth of nothing but the truth.
That's what you said.
You asked him, tell him the whole context of the situation, though.
You asked him where he thinks about this, young man, and he said, I'm okay.
I said, I'm the truth.
He's tripping.
That's what happened.
So funny.
So funny.
But I think that if I had to isolate one variable, it is authenticity and originality.
Would you guys agree with that?
Yes.
Yes.
I would add one wrinkle, David, which is also, and I resemble this at times, and I am trying to be self-aware about this at times, try-hardness.
Like somebody who really wants to be cool, effort, transparency of effort feels like another anti-cool sort of aspect here.
Yeah, what would you add to that?
I think, yeah, I think that's important.
The try-hardness is important.
But also I think that like, I'm not sure that these dudes are any less cool than the people who came before them.
I think that we're just not sort of distilling.
Like, there's not a way to distill their personalities in the way that we had.
Like, immediately when I'm thinking about coolness and the NBA, I'm thinking of like slam covers.
And like, we're sort of missing this packaging of how players are supposed to be kind of cooler than they may or may not have been.
Right. Like there are, a lot of these dudes are like AAU guys who just played basketball for all, you know, for a lot of time, which is different than like some of the guys from the 90s who also just went to school and like hung out with friends and like created their own culture and came from different regions and different regionality with different cultures. And these guys just play basketball all the time. And I think there's this belief that if we just see them on social media, we get to know the real them, which I didn't really get to know.
the real versions of a lot of these dudes.
What I saw was these cool package Nike ads or Reebok ads or slam covers and this way that cool was like disseminated to us.
Like think about somebody like Reggie Miller who you got the choke and he was like this kind of like kind of annoying dude.
But like he had this quote unquote aura.
And then he gets like unfettered mic time for three hours on TV as a color commentator.
And everybody's like shut up Reggie Miller.
You know what I hate you.
You know, Reggie Miller is great and all that stuff.
But, like, that's kind of what it became it because, like, he had this, like, barrier and this packaging that created cool in a way that a lot of these athletes do not have right now.
We just get their social media personalities and they're miced up and we, like, see Jalen Brown being like, we're not wizards.
We're Harry Potter.
Y'all think I'll be playing with an energy.
They're the magic, but they know we really got the magic over here.
Oh, I like that.
No Harry Potter.
You know, like, we get a lot of that what we didn't get before.
There's also one thing, Mina, I think, which is that we are, look, the MBA as this, like, cultural barometer of cool, as the piece sort of leads with, part of that is as these things become increasingly corporate, as these things are, like, you know, lineages that are increasingly formalized, as David was alluding to, we also get further away from what might be the fundamental tentative of cool that we haven't mentioned yet, which is, I think, that you have to be kind of anti-authority.
you kind of have to be subversive.
So, like, to me, the coolest figure
when it comes to the modern NBA
that we've been sort of circling implicitly
without naming him is Alan Iverson.
So that brings up the question.
So I have a question for both of me,
for all of us to ask,
which is sort of a central part of this piece.
Like, what, when you guys think of coolest athletes
that you've ever experienced,
who comes to mind?
I love this question.
Iverson's definitely up there in basketball.
This, my football example,
and I think this cuts to Pablo's theory,
I think Marshawn Lynch is probably the cool.
He might be the coolest human of his generation,
but definitely the coolest football player,
just everything about him,
from style of play to the anti-authority aspect,
to the way he spoke and carried himself
to like the lore around him.
I would contend that Ken Griffey Jr.
is on the Mount Rushmore of cool athletes
in any sport of any generation,
and was, and you hit that,
apex because he was actually one of the best of all time and had this glow about him where you just saw him and you wanted to be him.
Granted, we were the target generation for that. But there was just something about him, the way he played, the joy with which he played, the way he swung his bat, the way he wore his hat, the way he moved on and off the deal.
The way he played for the Seattle Mariners for Mina Times growing up.
Okay, I actually asked Cortez for a clip.
I want you to watch this and tell me that any athlete has ever looked cooler than Ken Griffey Jr. looks in this clip.
Here's the pitch.
I'm sorry, but if you ever need to define ORA, just play that 0.5 second clip.
Just the dolly shot pushing in on Kangaroo, winking and breaking, shattering the fourth wall with a wink is, yeah.
No athlete does ever look cooler than that right there.
This reminds me, this article and this whole idea reminds me kind of like when I was coming up in the hip hop blogs and I was reading like the New Yorker and there were like older dudes writing about like telling me what was cool and like little Wayne rhymed like Nigerian hair with whatever and like you should like him and it's like well you know and so I think what fundamentally as humans you're going to always think is cool are people who are older than you who grew up like who you grew up admiring and who you're you.
you grew up wanting to be like.
And I think for us as near 40-year-olds,
I don't think we can really determine what's cool.
Or like, none of these athletes are going to be cool.
Like, no 20, I don't think that any 24-year-old is cool.
There's not going to be a 24 or 25-year-old that I will ever think is cool ever again.
Like, my dad is never, my dad is never like Michael Jordan is cool.
He's like, Elgin Baylor was the coolest basketball player ever because that's who he wanted to be.
I think there's young football players who are cool, actually.
David, but to your earlier point, some of that is limited exposure, right?
Like, we don't really see them as much.
They are naturally kept at a little bit of a distance from us, the helmet.
They're not as present as basketball players.
They don't talk as much.
So I think that helps their cause.
I do want to do a thing in a second here where we are going to draft the coolest
athletes across at least the three major sports in the present day.
So we're going to put this to the test.
I'm going to seed that in your brains.
We don't have to do it just yet,
but we will answer and test David's theory
about whether we are just afflicted with clinical old headitis
and cannot possibly actually consider a young person cool.
I also want to add a wrinkle as we assess the criteria here
for the committee of our audience to judge us.
Because on-field play, right?
So are we saying that that is clearly not separate and apart,
It is involved in the calculation, right?
The reason why on-field play matters, and as we do this cool thing,
or try to figure out who the coolest guys are,
is there's nothing cooler for a professional athlete
than being unbelievable at your sport and then backing it up
with how you present yourself.
And I think when we talk about the top guys, Griffey, Iverson, Lynch,
they hit that.
It's a very elusive, very elusive bar.
Yeah, but so just the greatness, though, right?
What does that get you?
So Michael Jordan, I think, is a very reasonable answer.
A very popular might be the number one answer
when people think of the coolest basketball player of all time
because he, both as a marketing vehicle,
was unprecedented for the obvious Nike, et cetera, reasons.
And every other sponsor thing, right, for our generation.
Also because when it came to be the most pressurized moments,
he had the greatest legend and arguably the greatest performance.
So there's that.
But then we get to, for instance, like to discern
a bit of the lineage
when it comes to Kobe.
I'm like, I think there are lots of people who think that Kobe's cool,
but I see an imitation of Michael Jordan.
And I'm like, okay, I'm going to dock points for that.
I think Kobe was, as great as he was,
a legendary tryhard
by the time that he became the guy
who was branding all of his Mamba stuff.
Which is to say that, I think the answers to the draft,
as we go around in some sort of order, David,
there's a, I know it when I see it definition,
as opposed to like some strict criteria for better and for worse.
Can I dump out a hot take real quick?
I'm not sure Michael Jordan was that cool.
Like I'm sorry, like, when you watch the last dance and you're like, this dude is like talking to this baseball bat and he's like jamming to Anita Baker before the playoffs.
Like this dude is not that.
Like I remember way, way back he did an interview and this sticks out to me so much.
He did some sort of interview and they were like, what is your favorite art?
I mean, this age is poorly, but, you know, for other reasons.
But he was like, Robert Kelly.
And I was like, who calls him Robert Kelly?
Like, who, like, I don't know.
Like, there's so many things about Michael Jordan that I'm just like, it was all ads, all this stuff.
Like, is Michael Jordan actually really cool?
And by, you know, extension of that, is Kobe Bryant even less cool because he wanted to be like Michael Jordan, who is not even really that.
Where's that leave?
Tatum is doing the third round of beaming.
I think you hit on just like the more we see of someone, the let's just, there's an absolutely.
an inverse relationship between exposure and coolness and no matter how cool you are,
the more we see of you, the less cool you're going to be.
Should we get this draft going?
So current players, right?
Current athletes.
You have to be active.
I think we should do coolest player per sport for the three biggest sports.
So we each pick one.
So we each going to draft our pick for who we think the coolest is.
And if someone has drafted them, we cannot take them.
and we will show our results at the end
because I love a draft chart results.
So I'm going to say this one,
and this is a player who I've gotten a lot of grief
from their fan base because I consistently have him behind
two other quarterbacks and football votes and whatnot.
But I think Joe Burrow is incredibly cool.
He has the nickname.
No, yeah, right.
But he plays cool.
He has these, like,
credible big moments, he's ice cold, and the way he presents on and off the field is legitimately
cool. I really believe that.
Counterpoint.
Counterpoint. I don't think Joe Burrow saying stuff is cool. I don't think Joe Burrow says cool
stuff. I think he does cool stuff on the field. I think that is...
Does he? I disagree. Yeah.
He knows all the words to get to get.
from his time at LSU, so I think that's pretty cool.
The championship picture is one of the coolest pictures ever taken of him smoking cigar.
But I would say, like, he, the way he talks when he's interviewed, he's not very, he limits his exposure, which is what cool guys do.
When he speaks, like, he puts pressure on his organization to do stuff.
He's pretty plain spoken.
I, yeah, I, like, I think Lamar Jackson is the coolest football player to watch, but I don't think he has enough of a persona.
for me.
So Lamar gets...
Okay, so I'll go next a second.
Lamar has the anti-authority thing going.
The fact that he doesn't have a conventional agent
for better and for worse.
I don't know if that's cool in the classic sense,
but it's sort of like a fuck-you
to the way that like football and business tends to operate.
So the case for Lamar is strong.
But I think I'm going to go jail and hurts.
Oh, terrible choice.
David.
Oh, David.
Horrible choice
David
Tell me where I'm wrong
Tell me where I'm wrong
Okay you go
Meena go for it
Go for it
I don't know
Can I use the word
Unk first of all
I need a ruling
I need a ruling
From my compatriot here
Jaylon Hertz
I think is an amazing person
And I'm a huge fan of his
In a million different ways
But he is not cool
Like, he dresses and acts like a 45-year-old man.
He's not, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he leans in to 90s fine.
Like, that is his whole personality.
Like, he is, he is, he is living single era, fine man.
So far, I'm waiting for the problem.
I remain waiting for the problem.
That, again, I grew up thinking that's what cool looks like.
He speaks in cliches.
He speaks in like football talk.
He has no, he has, he has the ultimate, it's funny, because he just did something that you could say
It was anti-authorities.
That's what I'm thinking about.
Yeah, but for the most part, the man when he was in college, I believe, said he related to Nick Saban.
Okay, that's ungoal.
That's pretty cool.
I think the only thing that helps.
The thing that helps Jalen Hertz is that now he stands next to Saquan Barclay for the rest of the season.
And by virtue of that, he is going to be the coolest dude because he is anti-Saquan
Barclay, and I think that that's going to elevate him way further than he would have been otherwise.
The thing that will get Jalen hurts that the test is, and I don't know how this has not happened yet,
how has he not gone through the Jennifer Hudson Tunnel yet?
Because he has good management who will not not reveal that to the world.
That's going to make a break in one.
When he goes through that tunnel, we'll see what kind of cool.
I don't think any football players have gone through that tunnel, right?
No, I don't think we have one yet.
He's going to go through that tunnel.
Oh, my God.
Hold on there's a reference I'm going to pull out and Google the wild.
Have you guys thought about what you would do?
If you had to go to this.
First off, that is a show that I only know, of course, because of the tunnel.
I don't know what else happens on the Jennifer Hudson show.
I assume good stuff happens.
I just know it as the tunnel.
I did see recently Randall Park go through the tunnel.
If you recall him, Asian dude.
And he proceeded to, like, do a mixture of, we'll show this in post.
A mixture of like sort of like popping and locking where I was like, I would aspire to do that and not be nearly as good.
Asian dudes who can dance constantly go viral for crushing the tunnel.
This is my algorithm.
Like the dude from the White Lotus, Guy Talk, crushed it in the tunnel.
Here's the thing about the Jennifer Hudson Tunnel that is fascinating is that they managed to know the algorithms
because I don't think I've seen a single white person go through the tunnel.
And then when I talk to white folks about the Jennifer Hudson Tunnel, they just like reference white people went through.
So I'm getting all the Asians in the tunnel.
I'm getting Asians and like the hot guy from Lion King.
Right.
I don't know.
I did see Usher go through it on skits.
And I was like, damn.
Fear all comment section.
Okay, sorry.
Dave, what's your pick?
Yeah, what's your, what do you got?
My pick here, Lamar Jackson.
Just like, I was, I was thankful that you guys had picked Lamar Jackson.
I love Lamar Jackson.
Because I think there's also this, like, unfiltered interview that, like, is part of it.
And also, he has an unfair advantage.
His name is Lamar Jackson.
Like, it's like, it's like, it's.
Like, come on.
Style of play gets him like 95% of the way there because he is clearly the coolest.
The NBA, David, we're going to snake draft it.
Go the other way.
Are we doing NBA or we're doing basketball?
Because here's my, because here's the thing that I also got out of this article that
we started this whole thing from.
This seems to be a male-centric problem because there are like 15 or 20 cool-ass WNBA
players that I'm obsessed with.
with at all times. And so if I had to pick all of basketball, my number one pick would be
Agent Wilson because she's like the coolest person in basketball, I think, right now. She's like
an incredible interview. She won the championship and talked about all the tequila shots she was
going to drink. You have to take four shots. Children take shots of ginger ale, but you got to take four
shots before you pull up to the parade and drink responsibly. She has the new shoe out, which helps.
She has the like really cool internet soft launch, hard launch, bam out of bio thing going on.
She's the best player in the world by a large margin.
And I just don't think that this article really applies to women, really.
Like there are so many cool-ass women athletes.
And there's a larger thing to discuss, I think, about like women and how they, you know, drive the culture and like make stuff cool in a way that guys kind of are not doing, which goes to the zen and the manosphere and all that stuff.
But, like, there are so many cool-ass WMBA players that are so much cool than NBA players.
And AJ would be my number one pick in basketball by far.
They've also been cool for a while, I think, is the other thing, right?
Like, this isn't like, oh, wow, all of a sudden we have this, like, cool new generation.
Obviously, the WMBA's exploding popularity.
But Diana Tarasi is one of the coolest humans to walk this.
By the way, an awesome at a microphone.
Does not give a fuck.
It's incredible.
But meets the parameters I established earlier.
And the greatest of all time.
Go player.
Yeah, one of the goat players backed it up.
great on the mic
very
she might be
I'm also
great at social media
all these
WBA players are great
at social media
like the more we know them
the more we get to like them
So Steph not even a consideration
for you
like you're like no
not even
no
because Steph is the
ultimate example
to me of playing style
getting you
on the list
not number one
but just like
on the list
and I think he is
absolutely one of the coolest players
as a cool celebration
he's like
probably the most
like old school, I'm going to text or call somebody when he's doing something dope.
Even though he's a nepo baby, even though he's always, even though he's a nepo baby.
But like, Steph has always had this like, I think the arc of coolness has shifted more towards him.
Authenticity, again, is kind of the driving thing here.
Yeah, I think that's, that's fair.
Influence, he's been so influential.
A friend's house who has two small boys and they're both into basketball, like, six and four.
And I asked them, which player would you have play with him?
play like and both said Steph and it's like wow we're still on it's still going you know they're
not saying the mellow or jaw but um well that brings me to my pick because my pick is john morant with
an asterisk yeah i think that's look the unsaid thing in this article it's right there for him
so sad it was everyone was ready i had a friend who worked on uh it's part of the nike
campaign that they were doing for ja as all of this stuff was unfolding
And they had to blow it up and make it less cool because they had to make it so that actually
John Morant was more palatable to an audience that expected him to be a massive fuck up who loved
playing with guns.
Like, there is a line beyond which you go too far.
And as much as the anti-authority thing is part of it, like he, at a certain point,
you got to know when to just stop.
And that's where it became untenable.
I think John Moran is fine, guys.
Like, I just think that, like, if he played better, it'd be fine.
Like, you know, like, if he came back and was healthy and they had, like, deep playoff runs,
like, I'm just, like, I just don't think you're going to get a whole bunch of people who are just going to get too upset about, like, people liking guns in this country.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
You know, like, I just think that.
People have forgotten and forgiven way worse in all these sports are talking about.
Exactly.
And, like, we're not going to finger wag at a dude and his love of guns.
And the bad, and, you know, there's a.
a lot more. It's more complicated and complex than that. It's more, it's more like, can you stay on the court, is my concern.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if he came back from this thing and the Grizzlies, or if the Grizzlies are playing now, for instance, right? And he's playing in the conference finals, I think he's fine. And like, whatever, you lose your Nike campaign, whatever. I think he's still in a point where he's one of the coolest dudes ever. The problem is you're still doing this, like, anti-authority celebration when you're not like that good or good enough to warrant it.
right now. I think that's probably the big problem.
I do think the anti-authority aspect of him, it feels, he doesn't feel as cool.
I mean, for obvious reasons. But also it just doesn't feel, it feels a little bit, and this cuts to the
original premise of this piece, is a little bit cosplay in a way that I think is something
we sniff out with a lot of people in this, whether they're cosplaying, you know, gestures or
Kobe imitators or being anti-authority. There is a
sense of like, is this really you? Like, what's you doing, bud? My pick is, I think, to certainly
corroborates the thesis of no younger players, is an older guy. I'm going to go Dame. I think
Dame is one of the coolest athletes alive. Obviously, he is at the end of his career.
I think of the hardest NBA photo, one of them of all time, which is the game winner OKC looking at
the camera. I mean, I know I said earlier that no one has better looked at.
cooler than Griffey, but like...
I was going to say,
Mina has a clear thing
for who she thinks is cool.
It's looking into a camera.
If you do something cool
and look straight into a camera,
you're probably cool.
But David, that photo,
I mean, come on.
It's...
Yeah.
I mean, that's...
I mean, also another great celebration.
Yeah, another great...
And the very, very rare accomplishment
of being an athlete who wraps
and people still respect you.
Like, that's one thing that...
That is hard.
Yeah, that usually docks off a ton of points if you're trying to wrap, but he got a little Wayne on his album.
I am also realizing a lot of my picks are really handsome guys.
Also, it does make you cool.
Cooler.
I mean, I picked Asia Wilson, so I get it.
Same Zies.
I mean, Jalen Hertz guys is clearly a beautiful person.
A beautiful, objectively beautiful person.
Okay.
So, baseball.
Are we ready to move on to baseball or any other takes we want to get off?
one side, actually one side brief post-script take about the NBA.
Because David, you were hinting at this before and Mina as well.
Like, as much as the current generation of NBA players might be starving for cool in the way that bloggers and others will approve of.
If you go through, like, is LeBron cool?
He's like an iPhone.
Like, he's too, no, he's like too much of a monolith.
It's like Taylor Swift, you know?
Like, it's too big to be cool.
He's a literal corporation who is also trying very hard at all times.
But if you just go through the list of, like,
Kauai Leonard, LeBron James, James Hardin, Anthony Davis,
Kevin Durant, Paul George.
I'm going through just like all NBA caliber guys.
It's not like we have been dealing with a bumper crop of the previous generation
where it's like, man, those guys check all the boxes, you know.
I mean, we can get in the second apron and players moving around and stuff like that.
But I think a lot of the players that we all thought were the coolest,
were not necessarily the best players in the game, right?
Yeah, Rashid Wallace.
Like, yeah, there's the Rashid Wall.
There's like, you know, like J.R. Ryder and the between the legs dunk or like, you know,
Erie Payton, who was all, you know, this all NBA was never like the best player in the world.
He was just a cool ass player.
You know, Baron Davis, Steve Francis, like those type of dudes who are always really cool.
And we loved them.
We collected their basketball cards.
We like did all this stuff that, you know, we loved about them.
The Clippers, they're like Quentin Q. Rich Clippers and all that.
There is miles of them.
Like, those are people that we love that were not necessarily the best in the world.
And I think that, like, it kind of shortens our list and, like, the potential of who we're going to pick.
If we're only looking at all NBA players, that's never always been the case about who we think is great.
And it's also good to note that, like, we did have a draft and neither one of us really picked an NBA player.
Like, we kind of pick, like, an old, like a dame who's not going to play.
And AJ Wilson, who's not in the league.
And Jah, who's, like, the guy's argument.
checks out.
Yeah.
Like it does.
Our picks kind of illustrated for him.
Baseball's very top-heavy.
I mean, I think the question...
Do I get to pick first?
Nina goes first, and there is a question that I'm wondering if she will ask out loud as she makes her first pick.
Well, there's two guys, I think, who are clearly the two coolest guys in baseball.
That's how I feel.
So I'm deciding between the two of them.
I'm taking Mookie here.
He's just so cool.
He is a joy
He's an amazing player
He's a joy to watch
He seems like a legitimately awesome dude
But he's funny
And he to me
Has the close is the closest thing
In spirit to Griffey in this generation
He's also really good at bowling
And I want to unpack whether that makes him cool or not
Because he is like a professional caliber bowler
He's bowled a perfect 300
Another wildly attractive person
He knows to keep that hat on, you know?
He's playing the right sport.
That's true.
I am taking only hotties.
I wanted to say, speaking of hotties,
Julio Rodriguez, but I can't.
The home allegations would be too strong.
Are we saying definitively,
because Mina brought us to the team in question,
like, Shohei Otani, not cool.
I think he's cool.
I think he's cool.
I think Shohei was my pick.
He was my pick.
Shohei was my pick.
to skip over you, Pablo.
He's my pick.
I think just virtue of being,
I think that sometimes
it's virtue of just being good as hell
and the dopest
at your sport
like goes a long way.
And we also have a barrier
where we don't get to,
we don't know that much about him.
It's mysterious.
This mysterious dude
who just goes up
because he have a crippling gambling addiction,
you know.
These are ongoing mysteries.
Yes.
He also, even when he is not playing,
just watching him, like,
move in the world,
a lot of this is carrying,
by just his how physically imposing he is.
He is enormous.
He has like star power.
Yeah.
And he's incredibly handsome.
And watching other baseball players react to him also makes him cool.
Because it is like, O Tanya is like when Beyonce walks in the room.
Yeah.
Right, right, right, right.
People are in awe of the sound that the ball makes off his bat.
People are in awe of his physical stature.
People are in awe that he can do any of this.
He also is, I think, to the earlier point, like, so private.
that it creates this aura of its own.
Being private is cool.
I think we're learning that too.
Being less online on some level actually does in this era.
Yeah, it creates the intrigue that I think rates is cool.
I think I've got to go with, I'm looking up his age right now,
to invalidate David's theory about how we can't really respect young people
as I continue to draft some young people.
I'm going Ellie de la Cruz.
Great cool player.
He's not like, again, household name necessarily,
but he should be if he liked baseball in any vague way.
He stole a zillion bases.
I think it was 25 and 65 was the first shortstop to ever do it.
And that dude playing in the Cincinnati region,
I'm like, yeah, I think that's, that feels like conventional.
Like, that's just an all-time athlete doing cool stuff.
And I select him.
Aaron Judge, not cool?
I want to say.
What's the difference between an Aaron Judge and a...
Yeah.
I think there's kind of a,
there's almost like a parallel to like sneaker sales to me
where like the guys who are too large
aren't as cool.
Like no one's really,
I mean,
the big man,
Aaron Judge is too large,
I think,
to be cool.
Jazz Chisholm though on the Yankees is cool
and has like,
you know,
speed and flare and all that.
Yeah, being,
okay,
this actually connects to Steph and Dame
and being small
and being really,
really good elite at a sport
is a real fast track to being cool
because there's like an underdog aspect to it
that instantly makes you cool.
And just the style of play.
Just like crossing people over,
lends itself to more like acrobatics.
Like the people I mentioned,
Baron Davis, Steve Francis, those guys,
like we grew up loving those dudes.
Like point guards,
point guards are just going to lend themselves
to being cool nine times out of ten.
Is Yokic cool?
Is Nicole Yokic, who,
oh, Mina's shaking your head?
No, immediately.
He doesn't care.
He's not effortful in the way that we expect athletes to care.
But he's also clearly, yeah, I think he's one of the most skilled players in NBA history.
Why isn't he cool?
Big man?
Is it the big man thing?
Yeah.
I think part of us the big man thing.
Part of it, I think, is that I don't think people, you know, as superficial as it sounds,
I don't think people aspire to look like him, you know?
I think there's like this feeling of, yeah, he shows up to.
work and he just kind of doesn't care and he leaves and goes does his horses and everything.
I think there's something to that. I actually think if he were a little bit worse at basketball,
he'd be more popular. I just think like he's almost like too good. It's like, you know,
like it's what a great take. Because I think like like what I think about like Shaq, right? Like Shaq,
one of the things about Shaq that was so relatable to me especially like is that this dude
was dominant, but you always felt like he could be a little better if he just didn't want to like breakdance
and rapid DJ as much,
but, like, he kind of wanted
to break dance to rap and DJ a little bit more.
So it'd be like,
it'd be like if Yolkid were a little bit worse,
and be like, this dude cares so much about horses.
If Yolkidjian in a movie.
Right.
Right.
Yeah, if Yonkidt were a little bit worse,
he'd be more popular.
It's just too good to be popular.
So I want to recap what we've done here today.
In the NFL,
the three coolest players as appointed by the three of us,
number one,
Mina Kimes.
Took Joe Burrow.
Number two.
I took Jalen Hertz with, and in parentheses I want next to it, with Kangle.
Kangol is essential.
And number three, David Dennis Jr. took Lamar Jackson.
What did we do for the NBA?
Who remembers what we did?
Oh, David, right.
It was David Dennis Jr. number one, Aja Wilson.
Me, number two, John Morant, asterisk.
Number three.
Your picks have asked.
My picks are great so far.
Number three, Meena Kimes, Dame Lillard, looking into the
camera like
fucking Jim Halpert
or Randall Park
and then
baseball
number one
Mina Tukmuki Betts
number two
I took Ellie De La Cruz
number three
David Dennis Jr.
Took
Shohei Otani
Shio Tani
Yeah
Damn how did David
out Asian us
Yeah we haven't
David ended up with
Lamar Jackson
Aja Wilson and
Shoai Otani
he kind of bodied this draft
I wound up with a
Kangol and potentially
future gun charges
which is suboptimal, I guess.
I want the graphics to have each of the names by who we picked
and so that it could be in graphic immortality
that I spoke to you guys in this draft.
At the end of every episode of Bob La Torrey finds out,
we go around and say what we found out today
after having a, I would say,
a pretty in-depth discussion of cool.
Mina, what did you find out?
I found out that I didn't have time
to get in a mention of my podcast with David Dennis Jr.
But I'm going to talk about it right here, y'all.
If you're still listening, David and I have been doing this Love is Blind Pod now for a couple years.
We've done three seasons now, David.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And it's a YouTube show, and it became a podcast.
And we enjoyed doing it so much that we are expanding into a ongoing general TV and entertainment show,
which you can watch on YouTube.com slash app,
Nina Kimes or you can subscribe to.
The new name of the show is Viewer Discretion with Mina Kimes and David Dennis Jr.
Thank you.
I like that.
The first show we will be recapping is the upcoming season of Love Island, but we are
going to be doing non-reality shows, non-romantic shows as well.
However, Love Island, really last season was one of the greatest seasons of reality television
ever made.
For those who don't know, O'Do O'Dell Buckham Jr.'s brother won.
What's cool?
An absolute cool dude.
What's his name?
Cordell Beckett, who's now kind of more than OBJ in certain circles.
But anyways, go check it out.
Viewer discretion.
You can just look up my name.
You can look up David's name and give us a subscribe rate and review.
What I found out, David, is that Mina also showed up to today's episode of Pablo Tori
finds out with multiple clips.
And so there is a clip from, I believe, one of the reality shows in question,
that Cortez could not be more excited about.
and I have no idea what this is.
So I'm about to find out right now.
Do you ever get told you it look like a celebrity?
Yeah.
I do.
I do too all the time on the plane.
I get one person.
And it's just because I have dark hair and blue eyes.
Ooh.
But I don't see it.
So don't get excited.
Say it.
What's he writing down on that notebook?
I don't even know if it's MGK's wife or his girlfriend.
Oh, no.
Megan Fox?
You're just saying you those like Megan Fox?
It's just because I have light eyes and dark hair.
That's the only reason.
There's nothing else.
At least I'm assuming so.
I mean, oh.
Listen, can we get married?
What did you say?
So I guess I should, it has been whispered into my ear
because I didn't realize this until Rob whispered it.
They can't see each other at that point.
Yeah.
Because there is a wall that's the whole blind.
He's going to propose to Megan Fox, yeah.
Yes.
And so I am told now reliably we have the reveal when they can see.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Sort of like hit on looks, but...
Not for you.
She definitely lied to me on some house she looked.
Chelsea told me she looked like Megan Fox.
I'm so sweaty.
But, you know, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter.
I'm very attracted to her.
I can work with that.
What an emotional roller coaster.
That guy ended up being cool with this.
I'm so sweaty as the cruelest edit I've ever seen in a reality show.
You also didn't get to see when there's a moment where he has a Jim Halpert
looked to the camera right after meeting her when they hug.
That is one of the most themed moments in Love is Blind history.
David and I have probably spent no less than three hours breaking down the Megan Pops moment.
If you're into that sort of thing,
If you like listening to two people who treat these shows like the game tape that it deserves to be treated like, check out our podcast.
Thank you both for helping me find out more than I bargained for.
You're welcome, Pablo.
Staring into the camera and wink.
Pablo Torre finds out is produced by Walter Avaroma, Ryan Cortez, Sam Daywig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McCray, Rachel Miller Howard, Carl Scott,
Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor, Chris Tumenello, and Juliet Warren.
Our studio engineering by RG Systems.
Our sound designed by NGW Post.
Our theme song, as always, is by John Bravo.
We will talk to you next time.
