Pablo Torre Finds Out - Share & Tell with Dan Soder, Katie Nolan, Randy Savage, Andre the Giant, Don King, and Pablo

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

What if the afterlife sounded like a pro wrestler? Does Vivek Ramaswamy have the nuts for a pay-per-view debate with Pablo? And how the hell do you get out of a gym membership? Plus: enormous dildos, dong tennis, cock-adjacent merch, Harry Houdini's quads, and several special ringside appearances.Further reading:NJ Bill Would Allow Consumers to Cancel Gym Memberships Online and Easily (Asbury Park Press)Using A.I. to Talk to the Dead (The New York Times)Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-SwgmSvrpwU Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. I want you to piss on me. Time for tinkle time. Let's get the top out, baby. Time for you to make a sissy. Right after this ad. You're listening to Draft King's Network.

For the YouTube and Draft King's audience, you can see we have the water that they would serve when you're being deposed. Yeah, I'm going to keep my deposition water up here. We need a picture. All we're missing is a giant clear picture. In case you asking the question, I'm going to whisper. Your hands shaking. I'm going to whisper answers. I'm going to get answers from Katie.

I do not recall. Dan Soder, Katie Nolan. Thank you for coming back. You guys inaugurated this weird format that has somehow not been destroyed yet by the many imitators who've tried to be you guys since. A lot of whom have been me. Yeah. You with other men, you whole.

Get around She podcast cucks me Who are you on today You can't do voices like I can't I actually want to start though And congratulations by the way On having your own podcast Thanks dude

Oh yeah You're cutting your own pod today Yeah yeah I'm finally pushing something Everyone's like do you have something to push Go listen to soda Yeah still no for me Oh wait yes I do

What do you got? January 9th 9th What? My semi-final of Jeopardy Is airing Finally got a date on that It has been, people have forgotten I was even on it, myself included.

It's been a long time. The secrets that you have kept. I mean, and at this point I forget half of them because that's on my brain works. Dude, ever since I found out that you went to college with Vivek. Vivek? Yeah. He sucks, dude. He talks about every time he sees a new story about him.

He's like, the fact that Pablo went to school with this guy, I like that you just said that he sucks. I like that no part of you was like, I probably shouldn't say this. You're like, this guy blows. I've been saying he sucks for 20. Many years. Yeah. Just that now people now... That's like Trump.

That's like Trump. I got old, old, old tweets saying I hate Trump. And everybody was like, oh, you can't say that. I'm like, but I said it when he was just a guy. If the guy in my journalism 101 class from the University of Arizona ran for president, I would be very loud about it. Wait. I would like to know more about Dan's journalism experience. Yeah.

It was short-lived. And due to John Stewart. What do you mean? I loved John Stewart so much. I knew I was going to be a comedian. So I was like, the agreement of me going to college was strictly just to get the degree. My mom was like, please just get your bachelor's degree. So I feel like as a single mom that raised a kid, I did my job.

But I knew from the time I was like 20, I was going to do stand-up. So I was like, oh, none of this matters. I'm not going to use any of this. What do I want to study? And I was always like, I don't know, media, like journalism and political science, because those are the two biggest things that run the world. And then I was also like, well, it could be a cool backup. I loved certain writers.

So I was like, oh, well, let me learn how to write journalism. And then I went in and I was like, maybe I'll do broadcast journalism. And there was just this guy in my 101 class that was such a dildo that I was like, print. I'm going to do print journalism. Because he was like loud. He was, I don't think he was a frat guy, but he was like one of those like... Frat adjacent. He was, I was telling Katie recently I was around one of these guys that thinks they're the star,

but they're not the star. They just, in their mind, they're the star and then everyone. And you can see those. This is Vivekram Swami. It's exactly. The way you described him, I was like, that's what I said to you off air. I was like, if the guy from my journalism 101 class would have ran for president, I'd be very loud about how big of a dildo he was.

Enormous. He was like. Just to reiterate. In a bad way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, not in a suction cup. You're female listeners. Kind of take care of the issue.

Yeah, as in the price on the website gets lower the bigger this dildo. It'll melt in the dishwasher. Just a horrible dildo. The real world came to the University of Arizona to like interview people for the show. They're doing like an open call. And I remember going to journalism class. Shout out Professor Jim Nensel.

He was awesome. Nitzel? Ninsle. He wrote for the, he actually wrote for the newspaper in town so he knew what he was talking about. And he comes to my comedy shows. Oh, that's cool. If he's in town.

Veteran local journalist joins Tucson Sentinel staff Jim Ninsel. Yeah, Jim Nensel. June of this year. Shout out to Jim Nensel. How he spelling it with a C or an S? N-I-N-Z-Z-E-L. T-Z-E-L. So in his class, journalism 101, I was working at the radio station already.

I was already working at KFMA. He's got that voice. They just let him right on air. I skipped class because I got offered the night shift. I got to fill in for Greg Rampage USA. I got to do the pit, which was the metal show. The pur! Shout out, KFMA Day.

What did Greg Rampage USA sound like? He's the best. Now he's Gregor. He's at the end in Seattle. But he's like a tall dude who's very fun, but he would get into it. He'd be like, it's the pet. And so I would try to do that, but I couldn't do it the same. It felt weird.

It felt like it was our version of W&BC, but it was me going, the bear, and people are like, no, dude, you don't do it like rampage. Please stop. Yes. People are calling in. Please stop. I was like, it's the pen. But what's funny is Professor Nitzel was like doing a,

the AM station was having a mayoral debate for Tucson. That's huge. It is huge. And I skipped his class to cover the night shift. And he was there moderating the debate. And I remember him walking by the studio window, holding a coffee and looking over and going, what the hell are you doing here?

Like through the window, he's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I work at KFMA. From that moment, he was so cool to me in class because he's like, oh, you're like. You're a peer. Yeah, he's like, you work in radio. What are you? You're just like, it was weird. One of us.

But this guy in my class came in after the real world auditions, and he was like trying to impress this girl in our class. And he was like, yeah, I just sat down with a beer. And I basically pretty much told him, you know, like, I'm a party animal. It was just like, he was talking. And I just remember in my desk being like, I f***ing this guy. So if he ran for president, I would be in the same position you are. I would hate him.

people call me up with stories about Vivek that I am now like just waiting to... Oh, man. Did you see what happened? Because you were public about it. I was very public about it. Which I loved. The New York Post asked his campaign,

quote, While Vivek doesn't ever recall meeting this gentleman, we wish Pablo the very best and hope he finds success in his career and life, whether that be through talking about former classmates as he is now, or possibly through something more productive, like creating jobs,

or building a business as Vivek has done. Oh, please. He wrote that. He absolutely did. No, it was Trisha McLaughlin, senior advisory communication director for Ram's Lommy. No, I bet him was a little spicier. And then Trisha, you said? Trisha.

Trishel went through and edited that to make it sound more passive aggressive. What if we say? Because I majored in PR, and I know how that works. So you knew how to soften it. You must have had assholes in your PR class. Well, it was just a lot of people who wanted to do celeb PR. I feel like there was like a show on E around the time that I was in college that was like celeb PR.

It was like the women that work for like the modeling agencies and stuff. I think that was like really hot. So everybody wanted that. Day one of PR class, they were like, if that's the job you want, they'll pay you absolutely nothing to do it. And you'll be disposable to them. What you should be going into is corporate PR.

Yeah. And so that's when I was like, oh, okay. So like an oil spill happens. Yeah, of like damage control. In a different world, you're covered up for a water poisoning situation. That was the most interesting part of it to me. It was like what to do when shit hits the fame. That is good for your career later on.

My PR strategy, as quoted by the post, Toray sent a one-word response to the post regarding the statement from the campaign, lull. Yeah, that's good. You realize this is leading to your Frost Nixon. That's right. Dude, I have thought about running for president? Across the table from him and just have a, just an intense. That two-shot. Oh, my God.

Bring it in. Come on. Come on. Make it happen. Oh, God. You and him having a legit conversation, because if you prepped about what you would like to, you know what I mean? Yes.

Yeah, it would be very difficult to beat you in a debate. But it's not even necessarily a debate, just an intense conversation. Which would, I'm saying, any politician turns everything into a debate. Yeah. We should also film, like, the prep sessions where you guys coach me up. Yeah, let's go. I would love to see this. I think this is, I think this could be the event of 2024 for you.

Oh, man, we can sell out as a live stream. Oh, my God. promo code, dildo. Yeah. Put it on only fans. They're doing everything now. OFTV, baby. Did you guys see?

Nick Curios, tennis player, Nick Curios, is on Onlyfans now. Well, now they're doing this thing on... Doing naked? Well, not yet. Yeah. Well, because there's people in Dan's industry that put out their comedy specials on OnlyFans. So I didn't know if, like, that... I think they're trying to do that.

I think they're trying to bridge into, like... Curios. Curios. Curios. He announced he's not to deal with OnlyFans. And he is going to post updates for his fans. Okay. Nothing yet about any feet or other parts of his body.

We get in updates? He pledges to show fans his quote-unquote life. I mean, what's this? He's going to play wiener tennis. What is this? He's going to slap that. He's a little ping pong ball. Have you ever seen weiner tennis on playing?

He's like, hey, guys, don't forget there's a premium membership where you can watch me play dong tennis. Ping dong. Get it? Ping dong? I like that. Like ping pong, but with the dong. Come on, guys. So my dad's a urologist.

Nice. He retired, but he still gets shirts from the NYU Urology department. They love, I don't guys know this. Urologists love a custom t-shirt. Do they really? Well, I would, too, if my job was so funny. Yeah, if you're working with Wien, too. all day. I'm sure you kind of want.

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You need a tea. The whee-T? I mean, so the reason I bring this up, though, is the back. Okay, and let's see the back. I don't know if actually... I've got to describe what the back is for our audience. For our audio listeners, Pablo's now turning around. It says, let's go crazy. Let's go nuts. And it's quoted, attributed to Prince. And it's a banana, a purple banana bowling. Okay. And I think it's a condom.

And I think it's an inflated condom. That's what I was theorized. Because come closer and you can slide over this way. I'm going to say maybe it represents the bladder. What's this? Isn't that the top nipple of a condom? Not really, though. Isn't that the reservoir of a condom?

It looks like just like an empty blueberry. Did your dad explain to you what the back of the shirt means? My dad had no sort of like textual interpretations of this. Yeah. But I just like that they attributed very clearly to prints. Right, me too, because you don't want to get that confused. Let's go crazy. Let's go nuts.

Isn't it let's get nuts? You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts. No, it's 2016. Do you just get this shirt? Yeah, he was in my dad's closet. Oh, okay. And he was like, he texted me a photo of it, and I was like, I'm going to wear this in life now.

Yeah, that's the merch you do want. Yeah. If your parents' job, if your dad's a urologist, you have so many good shirts that have penises on them without having a penis on it. Oh, in the middle, it's a bladder. So people were... It's a bladder, but it does look like a penis and balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think that's the... kidneys into the bladder down into the urethra. Yes, that's the family crust over my chest. It's the most cock adjacent merch I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you know they can't just put a dick on there. It feels like... They have to be like, we can kind of put a dick on there.

Bananas. I bet there's a lot of bananas. But ladies pee, too. Ladies do piss. Ladies is pissed too. Go on, brush your shoulders off. You know? Ladies take a piss too.

Sometimes for money on business. this man. Well, and now that's, and what were you saying about OnlyFans? That's right. That's why I'm saying, check us out on OnlyFand. I'm launching my podcast. Check out Katie's Pissy page on OnlyFans.com slash Katie's PissyFade. It's a soft, wet launch. We're done doing Soder, then we

pull out the tarp and we make the money that bought those IKEA here. Here's the article I'm bringing. Pablo, tell them about it. Hit them, Pablo. So, the headline is I want to get the citation right because it is

APP.com. And what's that? I'm down with APP. You know me. The Asbury Park Press. Of course. We all know that. Of course.

It's just Bruce Springsteen at a typewriter going, I don't know what's going on else. I guess gym memberships. Today, a factory closed down. In sports. In sports. A screen door's like.

Seems like a cool kid, man. N.J. Bill would allow consumers to cancel gym memberships online and easily. Impossible. That's a trap. Why? To quote Admiral Akbar. That's a trap. Why? Gym memberships are notoriously.

But that's what I'm saying. I think this is the government's getting involved. The government is now threatening. They're like, excuse me, you can't keep backing these people into a corner, which, to be clear, we were told explicitly to do. So Katie is using the word we. And we should explain this. We should. In a previous life, before her superpowers, before the spider bit her. Before the hilarious, the funny spider bit her, she was selling memberships at Equinox on the Upper East Side.

That's right. You got to explain, Katie, though, where Equinox ranks in the hierarchy of gyms. Especially in New York City. Yes. It is upper actual. And this was pre, like, L.A. Fitness was just coming on to. the scene when I was at Equinox was the Planet Fitness around, aka

the bargain bin, the Ross of Gymns. Bargabin versus 24 hour fitness, which was like a block, half a block away, open 24 hours. Is that done? I don't know. I don't keep up on the industry anymore. I remember being around. It's closed. And 24 hour fitness was a literal thing.

It was open 24 hours a day. Yes, and that was the hardest thing to sell against is people would be like, well, I can get this membership for a lot cheaper across the street, and I can go 24 hours a day. I can go at three, 30 a.m. And so we were prepared to, that's what I was supposed to say. I'm like, look, that sounds good on paper, but you're basically going to go to the gym at the same time every day. And the odds of it being 3 a.m. are pretty low. It's actually bad for you to go to the gym at 3 am. unless

you're working that kind of schedule. Do you work that kind of a job where you work at night and you sleep during the day? They would change back. She's right back. And then I'd say, okay, well, then let's just be honest. I think you'd rather have a gym that you can know is going to be not crowded. It's going to be clean. You're going to have nice equipment. Well, what are some of the amenities? Well, we've got these chilled eucalyptus towels available on every floor. Was that the first thing you led with? Because it was the thing that I cared the most about.

I was like, look, these towels are already cold and they smell like a tree. Coala. Just put those right on your neck. You can take as many of them as you want to. Do you ever steal them? I would use them. Look, the most I ever went to a gym was when I worked there. I didn't.

Did you ever sneeze in a little? No. They're wet. Well, that's the perfect crime. Yeah. It's like murdering somebody with an icicle. It melts. It's gone.

No evidence. Is that snod or just? eucalyptus. I think it would sting to blow your nose with them. They were really strong. Dude, do you be one of those things? I regret this. I regret this.

Oh, my God. It's in my f***ing eyes. Sir, you didn't happen to sneeze into the eucalyptus towel, did you? But you had a list of things that you were, I guess, taught. Yeah, we had a whole training program that I did really well at. Turns out I was a good salesman. I just didn't like the way it made me feel on the inside. Because I was trapping people into these memberships because it was impossible

to cancel them. We would have initiation fees. I don't know if this is how gym membership still work. This was many moons ago, fresh out of college. So I was putting my degree to good work. There was an initiation fee of a couple hundred bucks. And then every month they would pay like $175 to go to the gym. $175 a month?

If you wanted to go to all of them. That was the all access. Again, at the time, who knows what it is now? One gym was 135. One gym. So one gym is 135. $1.75 is every gym. Plus like a $300 initiation fee.

Unless you sign up in December or January was the big push, and I think you could get no initiation fee. Now, let's say I'm in. Let's say I come in the door, right? I wish to be initiated. Jump us in to Equinox. How do you get out of an Equinox membership? You have to wait a year.

You have to be there for at least a year. And then you have to go in and cancel. I mean, they really... You got to show up. You have to show up. But they make it like a saw movie, where they're like somewhere there's a key that gets you out of this walk.

You have to cut up. off your leg. Well, at one point, it was during the recession, hence why I didn't have a job, and people were getting laid off, and people were like, if I, I can't join this because I might be about to lose my job. They didn't want to sign up for the deal. And then you'll have so much more time for your fitness. So then the, I think the company started to be like, if you get, I mean, I don't want to say a pink slit, but basically like if that, you can bring that in. That's so funny. And we'll let you out of your, if you can prove they late. You paid you off, we'll let you out of your...

A shame walk to your equinox? Yeah. Where you go, I can no longer work out here. And they're like, why the... They've let me go. Because people weren't signing up, because they were like, there's no way, I'm going to be stuck in this for a year. And if I get laid off, there's no way I'll be able to afford it.

And so we were like, well, don't. Well, still sign. You should still sign. Let's turn that pink slip into a punch card. Did you only get paid if they got signed? I got, that was my commission. I think I got like $12,000 a year. So, nothing.

Nothing. Yeah. And then you would get paid. So Katie Nolan as recruiter of vulnerable people. So by the way, the story is coming out, unconcidentally, it's December. Yeah, if you're going to join a gym, do it now. You're right now the best deals? Because that was when our, again, this could all be different now.

Many moons ago, but our highest quota was in December. So you were like doing anything you could to sign people because they expected you to sign a ton of people. And if you hit your quota, you got your bonus. And if you went above your quota, everything above that, you got, like, extra money. Damn. So it was like, and if you didn't hit your quota, you were in trouble. Do you remember what the quota was? No.

Like how many members? No. I don't even remember your phone number. Numbers in my brain just disappeared. It is true. So. It's over the six? No.

No, 303. It does. There you go. 303. Got the Colorado area. And that's all it matters. But wait. So let's take it from, I've walked into this equinox.

Which equinox were you at? I was at 54th and second. Okay. Have you called previously? Which was right by where I worked at Dos Caminos on 50th and 3rd. Which is, I mean, there's so many times in our lives where we... A virtuous cycle. I'm telling you, I know this sounds poignant,

but there's so many times in our lives where we just missed each other. And I feel like that's proof to me that this was meant to be. There was somebody who ate at Dos Caminos and then had to work out at Equinox. Yeah, I probably sold them on that shrimp cassidia folded. And then I probably had my friend go help clean it up in the bathroom after they left the gym. Okay, wait. Had you previously called or spoken to anybody at an Equinox when you walked to. for your membership today.

No, I've... You're a fresh walk-in. Yep. I'm somebody who has wanted to be better about my health. We'll get into all that. Okay. I just need to know sales-wise if you've spoke. Because so many times, we had this guy, Andre, who was one of the salesmen at our Equinox,

who had, he was like an institution at Equinox. He'd been there since I feel like it opened. But he wasn't, like, beloved by the company. And I wondered why? Because he sold so many memberships. It's because he didn't do it the Equinox Way. He just cast a very wide net with lead... And then whoever came in.

and then whenever anybody would come in, it would be my, Katie, you're up for a walk-in, here's a walk-in, and I'd get all excited, and then they'd look in the, in them. Luckily, if they caught it early, it would go straight to Andre. But sometimes I would get through the whole tour, the whole sales pitch, and then I would put their name into the system and be like, so you spoke with Andre previously? And they were like, yeah, oh, that's right, I did. And I'm like, let's get you signed up. And then Andre would stand outside my office with a big smile on this because that was his

sale now. But anyway, if you'd never spoken to anybody and you walked in and I gotta say I spoke to Andre Let me just walk but see if you say it early I go let me just bring you over to Andre And then he would huff and puff He hated It was Andre the giant Thank you Tiny little Katie

You're gonna love That I think you can help this Towers But Andre sucked at like the tour and stuff. He didn't like doing any of the schmoozing, which was the only part I was good at. Andre was a strategist, though. Yeah, Andre was a, he wanted you to have to do all the work. He wanted to pee on every possible tree.

That's right. He got him, too, huh? He was a urologist of a salesman. And they didn't like him. The company didn't like him. Well, they did. They liked the numbers, but he wasn't held up as like a, this is our greatest salesman, because he wasn't a good salesman.

So that's the skill, though. The salesmanship skill is the thing that fascinates me most about Katie Nolan, an Equinox salesperson. Because if I'm coming in cold off the street, it's December. I'm self-conscious, but I'm obviously very lazy. Yeah. How are you possibly convincing me to drop all of the money you've described? Okay, I mean, you want to know?

Yeah. I would take them on a walk. It was three floors, so I would show them all the different. I would ask them about their fitness goals. I would ask them about their experience with going to the gym and if they never went before. Would you ever prod or poke them? No. Kino Escalate.

Who sign you up? No. I mean like touch their problem areas Yeah go like yeah Yeah we can fix that No Okay I was

I was I was more like the I found a thing to relate to There was one woman That was like very rich And I still to this day I look back on this interaction I'm like what was that lady

She was very rich And she was Wanted a gym membership And then she liked me By the end of it And she She was like I just am afraid I won't ever go.

And I'm afraid I'll sign up for this membership and I won't ever go. And my main thing I always went to was if you're spending $135 on it, you'll go. If you spend $20 on it, you won't go. But $135, that's an investment in yourself. That's an investment in your health. You're holding yourself a capital. You will go. I'm reaching for my wallet.

And this lady said she still wouldn't go. And I said, how about this? If we go a week and I don't see you, I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll go to the gym with you. I'll come work out next to you on my lunch break. We'll go on the days that I can go. I'll make sure you're here.

If we don't see you, I'll call you. I will find you. And she was like, okay. And then this lady became like my friend. She gave me her credit card. She treated me like her assistant. One day she took me to that Fuerreza Bruta. Remember that show in Union Square?

I think it was called Fuerza Bruta. I could be making this up. Fueza Bruta is a band. It's a postmodern theater show that premiered in Buenos Aires in 2005. One night she just took me. We went on this trip. We went to Fuerza Bruta. We went to her apartment.

I remember it was raining in my socks. Scott White, I still have these socks that this lady gave me that night. Could not tell you her name. Could not tell you how I ended up. Why I said yes to any of this. But it's like a live performance that they do right in front of you. It's kind of like a small Circta Soleil. Do you think she, how old was she?

Oh, I'm bad at this. But I was at maybe 50s? In her 50s? Maybe. Do you think there's an off chance that on January 9th she'll be watching Celebrity Jeopardy and she'll be like, that's my Katie. That's Wetsock Katie.

That's Equinox Katie. I took her to a performance. She wrote a big long letter on the back of a receipt about how I should be promoted within Equinox. She was a very sweet woman. But that's why I couldn't handle it emotionally. I saw enough people up for the gym and I'm like, I got seven people who didn't show up this week.

I have to call them. I have to let them know I care. You don't have the thing in you that can shut off that art. Oh, I sold you that, but I'm not going to do it. I can't make a campaign promise and then not follow through. Unlike a real world cast member, you were there to make friends. Yes. I was there for the wrong reasons.

Which was to be friendly with everybody. You had, it just sounds like you had a methodology. We were given like, I forget what they were called, but we practiced like when somebody, you have to get, you have to hear no. The more that I think about this. You have to hear no seven times before you can let them out of your office. You can't accept no until seven. No means no if you say no seven times. No means yes until seven.

It's like Will Ferrer. and the spy who shagged me where he goes, damn, seven times. You know what he goes? Three times, damn it. We're like, let me out, no, let me out, no. And you get to seven, you're like, all right, go. It got to the point where for people like me,

you would look for anything that sounded even kind of like a no. I'm like, I count that. That was one. Because I didn't want to have to act. Getting somebody to say no seven times, it's like the cable people when they called me, you start to feel crazy where you're like, I don't want this, cancel this.

I had people get to the point where when they were like, is there anything I can say to get out? out of this office. And I was like, that helps. That's six. That is nuts. Closer, warmer? Closer.

Like, well, you could call state senator Gordon Johnson. Yeah. Because they're going to make a law pass that only in New Jersey, right, I assume? I believe it will begin in New Jersey. It's a big gym. It's a big gym state. Is that right? Jim Tam laundry.

Yeah, of course. GTL. Yeah, they, uh, yeah, if you're, Jersey gyms are on a different level. Yeah, Jersey mics, I believe they're called. But they just, the amount of, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, It clearly was such a problem that a politician in New Jersey was like, hey, listen. Listen, I'm trapped in three different ones, bro. All right?

And I need a different one for my power lifting, for my, to get toned, to get strength. So they finally got it. They should make it. I just like how. You should be able to call. Well, why is cancel? I mean, canceling a gym membership should not need to be like a Jason Statham move. Well, I'm going to tell you this right now.

He's like, you've only got five nows. Tomor, maybe I'll let you out of the office. Sorry, you've got to blast your cords on Tuesday. Already working. Do you want to try the eucalyptus leaves? They're unbelievable. We want to talk about death and artificial intelligence. That's the article Dan's bringing.

That's right. Why don't you tell us what Dan's articles says? Yeah, yeah, Dan, thank you so much for bringing this article. Absolutely. I've been deep in the research. It's called using AI to talk to the dead. And the subhead says some people are using. artificial intelligence chat bots to create avatars of departed loved ones.

It's a source of comfort for some, but it makes others a little squeamish. I'm others. I don't know how I'd feel because I think one of the things in death is you forget, or it used to be before this, you forgot what their voice sounded like. If you had anyone die that you loved before the year 2000, it's very rare that you have recordings of their voices because cell phones weren't prominent social media wasn't around

you just either you had an answering machine with their voice on it or home videos but you didn't really have and I think when you lose people there's a part of you that wants to hear their voice

but then there's a part of you that understands that's part of loss is like forgetting what their voice sounds like so this is a very interesting article to me because it's like do would I want to know but I would immediately this is going to seem like a dark comparison but it's true I wouldn't like talking to someone that I've lost through AI because it would be the feeling of like getting a prostitute where you're like this isn't real yeah this isn't the you're doing this because I'm paying you know with AI you're like you're a computer program

you aren't actually my dad you don't really like you don't love me don't you are proud of me pal. There's a big hankering for me just to type in one simple thing, I'm proud of you, son, just to get it once. And then you're like, let's go home. We got it. I would just be one sentence to shut it down. And I'd be like, let's shut. I'm proud of you, son, go 49ers.

And then you're like, let's go. Bang bang, niner gang. You know, like, modern phrases? Let's go. To a cameo of your dad. Bang, niner. Yeah. Bang, bang, niner, gang.

But I'm intrigued by it, but I don't think I would do it. So it's video and audio? So, yeah. So the way it works in this company is called StoryFile. About 5,000 people have made profiles so far. Among them was the actor Ed Asner, who was interviewed eight weeks before his death in 2021. And his son, Matt Asner, yeah, to answer the question, was stunned to see his father looking at him and appearing to answer questions. And so he sensed like some replication because AI is now increasingly.

sophisticated of course a personality that he recognized or at the very least something that fooled him enough neurologically to be at the very least feeling like quote this man that I really missed my best friend was there end quote

I mean I think without getting too philosophical I think there's you're doing damage in the process of accepting the death by keeping this around it's almost like that's what we talked about with the pets And I don't want to be mean

But in a little bit This is like the Nicarate gum of death Where you're like when you quit cigarettes You're not really quitting it You have to quit cigarettes You're not really quitting if you're using Nicarrette gum You're like still kind of keeping it alive a little bit

And not in the way of that it was Sure It's pretty good slogan for story files The Nicarrette of death Chew on this Chew on this If they don't use Chew on this

They're leaving money on the table You do it on an airplane. Yeah. But it just feels like it would just be too weird. It would be like, I don't know, because you have to go through the stages of grief in order to get over it. I feel like would screw all that up.

I also feel like at what point do we go, have you seen Black Mirror? At what point do you go like, this is kind of close to the thing that was depicted in a very dystopian television program? We're starting to reach this point with technology where they're going like, never be inconvenienced, never be upset. Yeah.

Never. And you're like, but that's part of life. Right. Never feel your feelings. Right. You're supposed to feel fear. You're supposed to feel sadness. You're supposed to feel grief.

You're supposed to feel anxiety. You're not supposed to feel anxiety all the time. You're not supposed to feel it all the time. But there is something of like, well, you know, deal with death. Because it happens to everybody. And this idea of keeping people around. I really love the fact that before Robin Williams, you know, unfortunately killed himself, he signed this thing that was like, my likeness will not be used for at least 50 years.

He was like, no commercials, nothing like that. And his children have upheld that and been like, hey, you're not going to use my dad in an Apple commercial. You're not going to use my dad and all this stuff where, because it's my dad. And I don't want you because this is inevitably what it's going to lead to, which is marketing and selling of shit. through dead people that you have a fondness for. Yes. As we're, kind of the theme of this podcast episode is salesman. Yes.

Doing whatever the fuck you need to do to get the sale done, they will use it for that. Right. So the way this works, by the way, is that you have the person before they die, sit for these tapings. Oh, okay. So it's not just like they don't just scrape together stuff you have.

Well, I think at some point they will be able to, or it's just not required for you to show up and like actually. They've already got to the point where they're like, hey, if you give me a minute of this person, and we can replicate their voice. So it'll get out of control. Right. But the instinct towards wanting to communicate

with the dead in this way, it turns out that there was also a fascinating other side note in terms of like the history of people trying to commune with spirits. Harry Houdini had a really close friendship, apparently, with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Okay. Author of Sherlock Holmes and so forth. Sure. Houdini was like, this is bullshit. Like, this won't exist. This doesn't work. Doesn't make any sense.

And Sir Arthur Conan Doyle disagreed with him so much that their friendship broke apart. What won't work? The idea of we're going to get to actually speak to those in the afterlife. And Houdini was on the side of that shit ain't going to work. Which is crazy because he's a magic man. Exactly. He's a magic name? But also a lot of magic is knowing how to trick people into thinking something is happening when it's not.

Can we also bring up the fact that Harry Houdini had quads on him? He did. Did he? Quadszilla, dude. there is a picture of him jumping into the Boston Harbor with chains on. I mean, this guy has Nick Bosso-Leges. All I'm saying is,

all I'm saying is line up Harry Houdini as an edge rusher. Good luck. You've got three seconds to get rid of that ball. Harry Houdini's gripping, ripping, and he's taking down Justin Herbert. He's coming out. He's making this play disappear. You better put a tide end on him. You better put someone to hit Harry off the line.

Because look at those legs. Damn. Yeah, dude, look at that. He's got the foldover. Yeah, yeah. What's it called when you can see all the veins? Vericoat. He's vascular.

Vascular. Mm-hmm. Damn. Harry Houdini was jacked. He really was. And also, you could tell that water was pretty cold. Okay. Didn't wear a cup.

Yeah, well, I don't know if he is. Yeah, he probably wishes he had a eucalypt his towel over that part. It looks like Harry Houdini had some stuff disappear he didn't want. Harry Tankini. Yeah. But I get him He was a grower, okay? Yeah.

He goes, for my next trick. Tcha, he gets out. Whenever he got a boner, he went, Tada. Oh, why, Harry, you are a magician. Wait, but you said something that was very vulnerable, and I don't want to pry, although I know you've talked about some of this on stage.

Pry. Pry away. Do it. My fiance is like, please open. Jesus Christ. Help me out. I'm on my own.

This pistachio without an opening. I got this. I'm like untangling a bunch of. necklaces. I'm like, look, I got something started here. Can you pull on that? You know, you know a sailor's not? Because I don't know how to hand the shots. I've never heard a better analogy for someone close to me than that right there. She goes, I got a little bit, but it's a lot. I need fresh eyes on this. But the premise of like someone in your life died and your memory of them is what you have more than any other archival documentary evidence. Yeah. And so what you remember,

you can also sense it degrading. And so because, of course, like, as you said, like your memory of the voice isn't perfect, I imagine. Yeah, the half-life wears out. Do you remember the sound of your dad's voice? No. Don't remember the sound of my dad's voice. Don't remember the sound of my sister's voice.

And I'm okay with that. And how old were they? And you at the time. I was 14 when my dad died. He was 48. And I was 16 when my sister died and she was 28. And don't remember either of their voices. there is a DVD somewhere that I have

of my cousin's fifth birthday party and my aunt transferred it from VHS to DVD but he doesn't talk on it he's just at the birthday party in like waves or whatever but I don't I kind of like have a sense of his voice but I think anybody that lost someone young you kind of just is like that's part of the territory you don't like I would like to hear my dad's voice again

but not this way not artificially that would be fine gross to me. If he was like, hey, pal, I'd be like, T. It's like synthetic weed. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is.

The K2 emotionally. Don't need it. Don't mean K2. I want that real, dude. Delta 8. Yeah. No, I want that real.

I want that real weed. And that's what it is. It just feels like, I understand, I understand, listen, I'm not knocking anyone that would, this would make them feel good.

This would make the... Sure, people are desperately coping with the most traumatic thing to ever happen to them, I presume, in a lot of these cases. And there's people that go through losses that are very, very difficult, you know, very, very difficult.

And they want some, a piece of the person they lost. And maybe this is the way they do it or whatever. I just personally am like, I've, I know how hard I've had to work to get through the stages of two acceptance of death. And I feel like this would just f*** that up. I wonder if you'd feel differently about losing, if you lost someone now, if you would be interested in this kind of, if your perspective on this would change. We've got plenty of footage

I would do I have enough footage of Katie publicly Just Sharon tells Just like we've loaded in an archive of Katie talking about All they have is our argument About sweet and sour

versus barbecue And I'm like get off of that I want to hear her say loving stuff Not incorrect things Yeah honey mustard and barbecue But it is I'm like I think now you're right I think there would be certain relationships

That maybe I would want that more but I immediately, you know, when you brought up the article, the first thought was like, oh, and I want to hear my dad's voice again? And they're, you know, knee-jerk reaction. Yes, of course, I haven't heard it. We'd love to hear him say bang, bang, bang, niner gang. But no, I know, like, my soul and my heart don't need that. It's just like, I'll keep my memories, I'll keep, because you also got to work through shit.

Yeah. Because people die, and then you actually have to examine your relationship with them. Look, it's hard for me to hear you talk about people's voices without thinking about how good you are at doing other people's voices. So there was this weird thing. Not to get really deep into the cords on the back of this computer. I got offered this. I didn't necessarily offered.

It was loosely offered. But my buddy Bruce Pritchard, who works at the WWE and also has a wonderful podcast called Something to Ressel, he works with a guy named Conrad Thompson. Conrad's awesome. He's got a whole podcast network. And Conrad had this idea of Lanny Pops. who recently passed away. Lanny Pafo was the brother of macho man Randy Savage.

And I do an accurate macho man Randy Savage. You do the world class number one ranked. But people were like, oh, what, you know, Conrad kind of had this loose idea of like, what if we do a thing with, this is when Lanny was still alive, what if we do a thing with Lanny where he kind of asks macho? And I was like, immediately like, no, I'm very uncomfortable. If someone could do a perfect impression of my dead sister, Michelle, I wouldn't want to do a podcast with that person. I wouldn't want to be like, because immediately, how is there not a moment where Lanny Poffel goes like, hey, could you? And I go like, I miss you a lot, Lanny, you know? And he's like, just losing because I would understand that.

Right. Where he'd be like, hey, can you bring up this childhood memory we have? Or he goes, I'm sorry I took your ball away. I knew you wanted to play with it. but I wanted to play with him more, you know? And he's like, that's my dead brother. So there was this, like, feeling of, like, the macab. We're like, I don't want to, I don't think I want to fuck with this too much.

I want to be emotionally responsible for this. It's crazy. Yeah. Right. If someone... It's kind of like being, hey, you kind of look like my wife. Can you... That's exactly.

Can you hold me? Can you hold me? I don't just mean... Can you hold my... Can you hold my bladder and or kidney? There was a time back on the WWE, Network was around. I went up to Stanford and I was doing this like top 10 moments or whatever.

And me and another wrestler, Damien Sandow, were doing like competing macho man's or whatever. And I was recording my part just in this like dark studio at the Yes Network because they worked with WWE and we're at the Yes Network. But the cameraman was from WWE. We're doing all this stuff. We film. We ended in the cameraman.

His older gentleman, he goes, I knew Randy. well you sound exactly like them and i was like oh man it's just like on the drive home where i was like there had to be a point where this guy was like um listen this guy do my dead friend perfectly right so there i don't know there that's like um i don't you're open in a pandora's box with yes and it's just kind of like you don't you think you know the emotion you're going to get but you're probably going to get a lot more emotions behind that that you don't see right now like like what i was saying immediately i'd be like I'd love to hear my dad's voice.

And then the second thought was, maybe not. Maybe we keep the dead buried. Yeah. You know? I do feel like, though, there is a product now that I would sign up for, a different form of dealing with grief, where it is Dan Soder,

just playing the role of my dead dad as a macho man. Yeah, right. I was always very proud of you. Uh-huh. Yeah. A couple of those birthday gifts weren't the best, but you bought it with your heart. Yeah.

When you buy all your arts, the best gift you can have, I love you, son. You're doing a good job. Yeah. Yeah, I'll imitate your dead family members as Bacho Man Randy Savage. For a fee. Thank you. For a hefty thing. For a pretty penny.

I have to go to a very dark place. I have to take ayahuasca after. It's really taxing on them. I'm your handler. Now, Dan will sit with you. Oh, yeah. And tell your father's feelings for you. selling the membership to this program.

Look, if you spend this much on it, you're going to use it. Yeah, you're going to use it. If you go to get your dead dad, talk to your dead dad at 3 a.m.? I'll call you. You want your pee-paw to reach out to you as Rodney Dangerfield? I'm telling you, I never respected you, but now I do. I love you.

Well, what I found out at the end of today's show. Oh, did we do three? That was three. What were the three things? That was three. We did... Jam members of... Your membership's AI.

Jim members of AI. And then we started with... Dan's journey through journalism slash, oh, yes. Vivek sucking. Sure. Yeah, he does stink. You're Frost Nixon.

It's going to happen. Yeah, we got that. Oh, God. I just, I mean, you could probably look to the production booth that everyone would agree. That would be the episode. Yeah.

They're probably actively trying to book it. Yeah. It's crossed my mind, like getting him to walk in here. Here's this. It's mutually beneficial. Totally. Because you're incredibly intelligent. And the thing is, you go back with this guy.

What you said? Thanks, Dad. Yeah. Yeah, you're very smart. I know I was a urologist. Yeah. Lots of water. Yeah.

Gonna get kidney stone. It's the worst pain of your life. I'm telling you. It's the worst pain of your life. Yes, getting him across from me in an actual, like, uh, in an intellectual. I mean, dude, in this studio, none of his helpers, mono e mono. He would never agree to do that. He would never agree to that.

Never agree to that. nuts to agree to it. And I'll say that on camera. You don't have the nuts. But do it, dude. I would. You don't have the vast deference. It would be in stubious.

Unbelievable. Put in Don King, Dead. Put in the AI. Unbelievable ubiquitous. For two people to clash it, only in America. Only in America. Do it.

Have it, Don, dude. Superfight. Oh, my God. What have you learned? I've learned that I should probably do that episode now. Yes. Yeah.

That's a good thing to have Dan call the vague as like a prank thing. I'll prank phone call him all day. Dude, I'm on the road this weekend. Give me the number. I'll start six, seven from the holiday. I can get it. Yeah. I can get it.

Oh, man. I can prank phone call all day. Katie, what did you find out today? Nothing. I didn't find out anything. Find out, Dan can do voices? Pretty convincing. I was going to say he's doing all his bedroom moves on a podcast.

Sorry, I didn't mean to bust out Jason Staple. How about we go in the bathroom, bedroom, I want you to piss on me. Time for tinkle time. Let's get the top out, baby. Time for you to make a sissy. Time for you to sissy on my chest. Oh, my God.

That's gross. What did you find out, Dan? That's gross. Oh, and Dan? might now find out, as I've been informed of this fact in my year, is that Don King is alive. He is. I thought so. I thought so. I wasn't going to say, but I thought, you just killed that man. It's cheaper to get AI. Don King. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Don King, he charges crazy initiation fees.

Yeah, he does. Dude, Don King is, I mean. You can't cancel. I don't want to Frost Nixon, Don King. No. That guy will roll him, even in his old age. I would tinkle on myself in that case. He would eat all of us alive. I don't think I could sell him a gym membership. I could try That'd be a good challenge I don't think I could What did you find out? You have to say something you found out

I miss my dad I'm gonna wanna talk to a computer dead dad Just to say bang bang niner gang Cut the I'm proud of you Yeah don't even need that Just this season how good we're feeling I would love for him to say bang bang Niner game

Guys Maybe someday Or do my dad do a whole E40 song I would do sprinkle me if we're just off the top of my head. Yeah. How does that go? Or I can tell me when to go.

Or he's like, ooh. Or E40 is my dad. He's like, ooh, I'll be loving you, son. Dad, can you blow this whistle? Yeah. Can you blow the whistle, dad? Thank you guys so much for coming back. Thanks for having us.

That's all. You're scarred from bringing up the equinox thing. It just brought me to a dark place. Yeah, I'm now thinking of what I found out today is that somewhere there's a lady who was wondering where that nice young Katie Nolan went. Find her. Oh, shit. I want a reunion episode.

Yeah. With you and her. I don't even remember her name. You can remember her name. I'll look through my docs, my documents. Do it. Thanks for having us, Pablo. This was so fun.

A blast. I can't wait for your debate episode. I hate him so much. Does this count? Did we do okay? I like that. I think we've... Can the scientists behind the glass feed some pellets into the wall?

They're like, oh, we actually didn't fix that audio issue. We're ready to go now. Yeah, guys, we're going to come in and change your newspaper on the floor of your kennel. Oh, and I should point out that Dan was right. Dan Soder was right. He identified the through line of today's podcast, and I'm usually the one who loves identifying the through line of today's podcast. But he identified it as an episode about salesmanship.

And that is correct. And so, in honor of... of the people who help me move these units, who help me move these podcasts, my producers. Michael Antenucci, Ryan Cortez, Sam Daywig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman,

Rachel Miller-Howard, Ethan Schreier, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Chris Tuminello, and Juliet Warren. Shout out to you. And our studio engineering by RG Systems, our post production by NGW Post, our theme song, as always, by John Bravo. Steam Game, Pablo Tori finds out.

And next Tuesday, a very different episode. So we'll see you then.