Pablo Torre Finds Out - The Pick Who Became Tom Brady: An NFL Secret, Finally Revealed

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

You may think you know how the Patriots drafted the greatest quarterback of all time: with the 199th pick in the sixth round of the 2000 NFL Draft. But the real story — the story of exactly how the Patriots got to make that pick, in the first place — has never been made public… until now. Today, Pablo dives into the secret world of the NFL’s compensatory formula. And we unmask the identity of the free agent who flapped his wings, changing sports history forever.This episode originally aired September 12, 2024.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. I think this is a sophistication task. There will be no one who will devolves the information for you and you'll wander the earth forever, trying to figure this out. Right after this ad. You're listening to Giraff Kings Network. There are some origin stories that are so familiar by now to us that they just kind of hang in our brains like these old paintings, these artifacts. almost, that we see all of the time in documentaries and speeches, in books and broadcasts, that we don't even really stop to look at them anymore. And so today's episode is going to be about the most famous origin story and the most

famous draft pick in the history of the biggest sport in America. Because it turns out that something important, someone important, has been missing from this picture for 25 years. The skinny beanpole of a young man walked over to me and said, hi, Mr. Kraft. I want to introduce myself. I'm Tom Brady. I said, I know who you are. You're our six-round draft choice.

And I always remember he looked me like a laser eye to eye. And he said, it's right. And I'm the best decision this organization has ever made. I am the best decision this organization has ever made. I mean, are you joking me? You were the 199th pick in the draft? The sixth round, 199, and I always joke, when they called me, they said, Tom, you know, hey, Thomas is, you know, Bill Belichick, you know, pitching a six round, like, we'll see you Monday,

like, get shit ready to go. And to be clear, taking Tom Brady with pick number 199 of the 2000 NFL draft, that turned out to be more than simply the best decision. decision the New England Patriots ever made. It was the biggest decision, the biggest domino, that I believe changed the NFL's timeline entirely. If Bill Belichick did not use that pick on Brady, perhaps because Brady's shirtless photos at the Combine were just that indicting, for instance, just imagine the amount of money that entire generations of jet fans might have saved on therapy.

Playing golf. Put in your last place, what else you got to do, you know? You got to make yourself spielder. It's a perfectly good. They're burning, not to mention the cost of Tom Brady effigies, like this one, which they hanged and burned

in this parking lot before a game in 2014. Because, of course, they did. All of which is why the pro football Hall of Fame has already acquired the sixth round draft card, where the Patriots registered the decision to take the greatest quarterback ever, enshrining this literal artifact

before the man, before touchdown Tom himself. And it is also why we should recognize how the Patriots acquired pick number 199 in the first place. Because how this decision really came to be, it turns out, is an active mystery. It is a mystery involving another decision and another player and a suspiciously secret rabbit hole of a system. A system that is denied,

and infuriated the smartest analysts and most plugged in executives all around the NFL. In other words, for 25 years, nobody has known how the Patriots actually ended up with Tom Brady. And as my friend Bill Barnwell, the brilliant ESPN analyst, once wrote, quote, we'll never know until now. So the entrance to this rabbit hole that we're all about to tumble into together, A rabbit hole which has made me feel kind of like Mori Popovich of sorts for NFL draft picks,

which I will explain later. It happens to be this artifact that I've already mentioned to you. Tom Brady's physical draft card. Because if you look at this thing, one more time, down at the second line, right below round number six, New England, and right above Brady, comma, Tom.

Yep, right there. You're going to notice two words that almost always get overlooked when we talk about Tom Brady, despite being in all caps, clearly, and despite being written in red ink. And those two words are compensatory selection. A compensatory selection, in so many words, is a pick with a very personal and human backstory.

Because the way the NFL draft normally works, as you may know, is that there are seven rounds, 32 picks each, one for each of the 32 teams in the league. The worst team, of course, picking first, because drafts are socialist quietly. And the best team picks last. All of that pretty straightforward. You know this stuff.

But the first thing to know about a compensatory selection is that they are not one of those normal picks. A compensatory pick is assigned to a team by the league office after a series of confidential and year-long calculations, it turns out. Calculations, incidentally, that are so sensitive that one high-ranking team executive would only talk to me on tape

if I vowed to guarantee his anonymity which is why I did agree to deepen our deepthroats voice and also allow him to pick his own alias. Chad? Chad's a good, funny, random name. Chad. All right, Chad.

I want to explain why compensatory Chad is here. I feel a little nervous quite honestly. I've interviewed whistleblowers, people who actually are part of international investigations into oligarchs. They didn't get the protection that we are offering you today. Pablo, I'm not sure anyone that's been on your show has been forced with the potential repercussions of a league or entity as powerful as the national football league. I wanted to be offended at this, but insofar as the NFL's 32 teams did combine for more than $20 billion. in revenue last year. As I found out, chat is not wrong. No American sport has ever been better than the NFL at making money or exerting control. For instance, it took players suing the NFL

to introduce the concept of free agency in the first place, the concept that we all know now where players with expiring contracts could freely sign with other teams. That happened in 1993, Not that long ago. And by 1994, in response to that, the NFL had installed two other concepts, a salary cap, which limited spending, and the invention of the compensatory pick, where a team that lost a player in free agency

and did not sign a replacement in free agency is eligible for a kind of, we'll call it, owner's compensation, essentially, kind of the opposite of workman's comp, which happens to be one of 32 newly invented draft picks, bonus draft picks, which can slot in as high as the end of the third round or as late as the end of the seventh. But the reason why, why you'd get one or the other, it's shrouded in mystery. The rabbit hole here, if you will, and the reason that we are talking is because this is a system for which there are some establishment.

in well-known rules, but there are just as many rules that are spoken in whispers, not necessarily documented anywhere. And we also have an end result that is never published in terms of how picks have been handed out. Which is crazy to me, because the NFL, as an industry, is so hyper-analyzed. This is most similar to Christmas morning. We come downstairs. We have no idea when our gifts are in a number. be. We asked for certain things. We think that they might be in the box, but until we open them,

until the league sends out a certain memo with all the picks, most teams are referencing Twitter to figure out what picks they think they're going to be getting. Billion dollar corporations which hire the smartest minds available in sports, data-driven people, are reading Twitter to figure out whether they're making the right call on a strategic decision involving compensatory draft picks. There are probably no teams that have clarity or certainty about who's going to receive a pick and where the picks are going to be until the picks are announced. There are a few teams who make a very concerted effort to calculate this and have models,

and other teams call them to ask them what they think their model is going to say. There's no question in my mind that most teams are guessing, looking at Twitter or asking their friends around the league, what they think about how the picks are going to come out. And after mining the mind of Chad for months now, I can relate to quote-unquote most teams. But what I am really trying to do here in my aforementioned capacity as compensatory mori

is more than simply guess. What I'm trying to do is reverse engineer, the compensatory paternity, let's say, of pick number 199. What I'm trying to do here is identify the former Patriots player

who signed with another team as a free agent before that 1999 season and then turned into Tom Brady during the 2000 NFL draft. I think this is a suspiciously and task.

There will be no one who will devolve the information for you and you'll wander the earth forever trying to figure this out. That is an answer that Pablo Torre finds out never takes sitting down.

Oh, Tori will not find out. Chad, A, fuck you. B, B, you're going to help me here. And C, I also should not forget C, we did have a head start. Before the last break, you heard me quote the pessimism of our friend Bill Barnwell, who I consider the sharpest NFL analyst in our industry. And that quote about how this is never going to get solved was not encouraging. But the reason I was able to quote that is because Barnwell himself actually peered into this rabbit hole in a Grandland article back in 2015.

And what you should know about what Bill Barnwell has previously found out is that we can narrow this mystery down a bit. We can narrow it down to three potential fathers who are now standing atop our compensatory Mori stage. And it's all next right here on the Mori stage. He told itself. These are three plausible candidates, three free agents, who left the Patriots before that 1999 season. And they are. The central casting linebacker, Todd Collins,

a guy who left the Patriots to sign with the St. Louis Rams. Frank Malacote spent part of last week with linebacker Todd Collins. Beneath this southern comfort exterior, there's an animal waiting to be unleashed. I guess that lineback, you've got to love to hear people. I mean, it kind of sounds thick. good. Whatever, but that's what we get paid to do is, you know, to hit people. The veteran punter, Tom Tupa, who joined the Jets of all teams and actually played quarterback in week one of the 99 season,

even though he did not have the right footwear, you know, as a punter, because starter Vinnie Testiverty got hurt. That's Tom Tupa shoes you're looking at. Those are punter shoes. Look at it at. See? Left foot. That looks like a slipper. The right foot, one you kicked with. And finally, we have defensive tackle Mark Wheeler, the 285-pound giant who left the Patriots for the Eagles, but is otherwise so generally obscure, frankly, that the only YouTube video I could find about the guy had 44 views, and also was generated by a bot. Wheeler was drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1992 in the third round as the 59th overall pick. Over eight seasons, Wheeler played for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. Now, there is no large manila envelope and no DNA test, unfortunately, which can reveal which of these three men is responsible for pick number 199. In the case of four-month-old Isabella, Stephen, you are the father. But what we do know is that pick number 199 was the highest pick, the most valuable pick, of the multiple sixth and seventh round compensatory picks that the Patriots received that year, which is crucial for our investigation

because the NFL office, the way they actually assign these picks, these cost-controlled Christmas gifts, behind closed doors, it's mind-blowing in a different way. Because what the NFL office does, it turns out, is quietly keeping and updating an enormous master list of every player in the league.

We're talking offense, we're talking defense, We're talking special teams, all the positions, all of whom get combined into this one master list, and they rank all of these players from most valuable to least valuable in order. The rub, as you might imagine, is that this list is completely confidential. Like, it's the fantasy football big board of God himself. The picks are roughly determined by stacking every player in the National Football League

from most highly paid to least. And there is a point system that correlates to those tiers. And then players can accumulate extra points for how much they play, different types of honors they receive at the end of the season. So, for instance, there is a bonus for being honored as first team all pro, according to the Associated Press. We also know, for instance, that the more snaps you play

above a certain threshold statistically, the more points you will receive. But as arcane as all of this is, as this compensatory formula actually is. And a bunch of it is also now explained in page 399 of the most recent collective bargaining agreement. The logic here is actually pretty straightforward. Because the more valuable a free agent like Todd Collins, let's say,

winds up being in his first season away from the Patriots with his new employer, the more valuable the pick the Patriots should get to compensate for his loss. This is, again, so long as the Patriots did not sign a free agent replacement for Todd Collins on their own, which would just disqualify them logically from receiving this kind of owner's compensation for losing him to that other team. If teams have lost more than they've gained, the players that are in a tier that hasn't been crossed off by a player they gained would equal a peck. And this is where Barnwell offered us one more observation. that proved helpful. Because it booted one of our three potential fathers

off of the compensatory Mori stage. Because no, the Patriots did not replace Todd Collins or Mark Wheeler by signing a similarly tiered free agent replacement. But they did sign a similarly tiered free agent replacement for Tom Tupa. Quote, The Patriots lost punter Tom Tupa, but they signed fellow punter Lee Johnson to replace him.

and quote, the former Bengals punter Lee Johnson, whose locker in New England, you should know, would eventually be right next to a 6'4, 225-pound rookie quarterback from Michigan named Tom Brady. But I thought, oh man, this kid, this guy's going to be a flop. Didn't think anything of him. Which is a truly tremendous confession by former Bengals punter Lee Johnson. Thank you, Lee Johnson, for admitting that.

But with Tom Tupac crossed off our list now, thanks to this punter responsible for that scouting report, our mystery compensatory free agent is now a coin flip. It's Todd Collins or it's Mark Wheeler. And neither of these guys started a single game in that 99th season. Neither of these guys was playing on a particularly notable contract. Wheeler had actually retired by the time that Brady met Lee Johnson at Patriots Camp. Collins was retired by the season after that. And so only the NFL's actual comp list from that 1999 season

could conclusively determine the information that we need, which is the former Patriot that is more valuable than the other one. And so as a journalist, I had one more question about all of this. Who gets to see this list? It's a great question. 345 Park Avenue. NFL headquarters. That's it.

Have you ever seen this list? Do you know anybody that has seen this list? I know that there's one person in the league office who is solely responsible for calculating said list. Who sees it? No idea. But just to be clear, there is a secret list at the NFL keeps of the most valuable players in the league

ordered from top to bottom. And this feels like the thing that any football fan would want to access to. And this is a... a secret that they will never reveal why. That's a great question. Not exactly sure why it's kept a secret as far as how the final results are tabulated, but they're never shown. And this year was, as an example, there was a mistake on the initial list of the way

picks were assigned. There were multiple teams who did press conferences explaining they disagreed with the way the list was calculated. We got a raw deal. We had separate zooms with the league trying to go through how it was calculated because by even their accounts, as we were checking with them through the year, we clearly had a third rounder. No recourse.

So I'm not here to relitigate the complaints of Bill's general manager, Brandon Bean, who is the guy whose voice you just heard there. And I'm not here to relitigate the complaints of the Cincinnati Bengals, who woke up on compensatory Christmas morning in March of this year, as Chad was alluding to, only to find that Santa had given them a sixth-round pick when they really deserved a third. This was a database error, as it was termed,

that actually got caught by an eagle-eyed analyst on, yes, Twitter, named Nick Cort. What I'm here to do is merely point out that this shit is frustrating. It is frustrating for the data-driven teams doing whatever they can to get this young, cost-controlled labor, and it's frustrating also for a league office that is trying to keep all of those teams in check. There aren't many situations that come up where we don't know the rules ahead of time.

Yeah, knowing the rules ahead of time is one way to become better at playing a game unless, of course, the whole point is to deter you from treating this as a game to be played, I would suppose. Don't disagree. And so what I needed to know a lot more about was the one person in the league office that Chad had referenced before, the one person in the league office who is, quote, solely responsible for making the list in question

and checking it twice. There was one Santa Claus in the league who oversaw tech and various components and also oversaw the compensatory pick calculation. And what was his name? Steve Vale, but Steve has retired. And now we don't know who's saying across us. Steve Vale, according to his LinkedIn profile on my computer right now, had served as the NFL's Vice President of Labor Information since 1994,

a meaningful year, you may recall, because it means that Steve entered the league alongside the invention of the compensatory selection itself. And so what I did last month in the throes of reporting this, rabbit hole of a story, is write a letter to Santa. I kindly inform Santa that I had become trapped inside the mystery of Tom Brady's true origin story, and I inform Santa furthermore

that only he could cash a check that my investigative ego had written. Potatory will not find out. I'm saying that. Chad, A, fuck you. Santa did not reply to me. And I'm also just not going to lie to you here at this point. Things were looking bleak.

At a certain point, I kind of felt like I was hallucinating, frankly. Tom Brady's voice began haunting me. You know, kicking a sixth round, like we'll see you Monday. Like, get fucking ready to go. Then Chad's voice also started haunting me. I feel your pain. I've had this pain for a large part of my life trying to deal with us. And all I could really do as a struggling journalist at this point was dig deeper, I guess.

And as my algorithm was getting entirely messed up, pretty much unusable for anything other than looking at this story, I stumbled upon a clue. I've been on an 84 championship. I've been on a Super Bowl team. I've been on multiple NFC or AFC championship teams. And they're all similar. You may now recognize. this voice as the now jarringly malefluous voice of none other than

Lee Johnson. The guy who thought Tom Brady was going to suck ass. Lee Johnson is the free agent the Patriots signed to replace Tom Tupah in 1999, punting Tom Tupa, again, out of this investigation. And I've also been on some of the worst teams in the NFL. The 80s of the Bengals were awful. You had some famous quotes back then. I did. So famous. You can go read them yourself.

You can go read them yourself, is what Lee Johnson was saying at the end there, followed by all of that knowing laughter from the guy he was talking to. What it suggested was that I should also know what those famous quotes about the Cincinnati Bengals were. I should also go and read them. So I did go read them, and I'm so glad I did, because what Lee Johnson said changed everything. thing. So this is the part of the story where I take you back to December 6th, 1998. An unseasonably warm day, it turned out, in the state of Ohio. And after the absolutely miserable Cincinnati Bengals lost to the visiting Buffalo Bills in front of 55,000 fans, a reporter asked the starting

punter, Lee Johnson, a question. A question that you might ask if you are also miserable, because maybe you've been covering a team that had just lost eight straight games. If you were a fan, the reporter asked, would you have come here today? No, Lee Johnson replied, according to multiple press accounts. No way. Why would you?

You're saying losing is okay. I'd sell my tickets. Lee Johnson, the very next morning, lost his job as the punter of the Cincinnati Bengals. And I don't mean to say that he was benched. I mean to say that Lee Johnson was cut. The dude's contract was terminated. And he said later, quote,

I'm sure I was released because of what I said. I meant what I said. End quote. Now, all of this is a remarkable decision, obviously, in its own right. And it sent me back down into our rabbit hole with a question. A sudden clarification, actually, for compensatory Chad. If you are cut from a team, do you count towards the compensatory formula?

Your contract needs to expire on its own. So if your contract is terminated, you're not considered a compensatory free agent. You wouldn't count towards the formula. Which is to say that Lee Johnson could not have canceled out. Tom Tupa. That's sensible. That makes entirely too much sense. Here's some information that I did not know about Tom Tupa until I started going deep into the world of Tom Tupa.

Because what Tom Tupa signed, Chad, was a $6.1 million deal over four years, which was the most ever for a punter at the time. And when you look at his statistics in 1999, the season he went to the Jets, he was a first team all pro. he was excellent. He played all the time, punted all the time, made a lot of money, the most ever for a punter. And so it stands to reason that of Mark Wheeler and Todd Collins and Tom Tupa, that Tom Tupa then, by the power of inference and logic and the power vested in me, Tom Tupa would have been Tom Brady's number 199 overall draft pick. Am I wrong?

If we think he was the highest paid, Plus, we know he had an honor, a playtime. We know these other guys didn't play extensively. It doesn't seem like you're wrong. So just to be very clear here, it sounds like you agree with me that it has to be Tom Tupa. I do. Okay. So this is big, right?

This is where I need a recap for you what we just discovered, because Lee Johnson got fired. fired for saying this sort of unrepentantant stuff that Lee Johnson apparently can never stop himself from saying, which meant that he could not finish his contract with the Bengals, which means, in turn, that he did not cancel out Tom Tupa in the compensatory formula by rule, which then means that Tom Tupa and his giant contract and his all-pro season in 1999, it all makes him the most valuable player, logically, on our compensatory Mori's. stage. Tom Tupa is the guy responsible for Tom Brady is what we just found out. But now, dear listener, it is time for this story to get even more eerie. Because you may recall that Tom Brady

was the 6'4, 225 pound quarterback who went to Michigan, the guy who eventually earned the nickname touchdown Tom. What you should know now is that Tom Tupa was a 6'4-225 pound quarterback who went to Ohio State, Michigan's rival, and himself, eventually earned the nickname Two-Point Tupa. 30 years ago, Tom Tupa was living the trajectory that Lee Johnson had envisioned for Tom Brady. Basically, he had sucked so much that he had disappeared from the NFL altogether. But in 1994, and yes, there's that year again, it's the dawn of not only the Compeck system, but also the two-point conversion,

the head coach of Tupah's hometown Cleveland Browns, a man named Bill Belichick, gave Tom Tupa a chance to make his team as a punter. And so in week one against Tupa's counterpart, who happened to be Lee Johnson and those miserable Cincinnati Bengals, Bill Belichick sent Tom Tupa into the game as the holder on a point-after attempt.

and history was made. Extra point time. Go for the extra point, right? I think Bill's got something up his sleeve. It's the former Buckeye QB Tom Tupa. 11-0-0 Browns, that is the first two-point conversion in NFL history. Balli-Ghawligeck would trust Tom Tupa to run that same exact fake, in which he took the snap and ran right up the gut for two points,

three times that season. and a lasting personal bond between coach and punter was born. In fact, when the Cleveland Browns fired Belichick in 1996 and the Patriots picked him up as an assistant coach, Tom Tupah made sure to follow Belichick to New England. Welcome back to Foxboro, 14-0-0 as we open the second quarter. Tupa had his goal line in pun formation.

The big question is, Paul, is it another fake? Okay, no, he will not fake this, I promise. Two-point Tupah was the real thing. Let it be known. He was the starting punter of the New England Patriots, and he was no longer the guy who ran all of these fakes. Three years later, before that fateful 1999 season, the dude became the single highest-paid punter in NFL history,

as I was just marveling to Chad, once he left the Patriots. And the thing I just need to reiterate for you here is that the team that paid Tom Tupah, this record's heading amount, an amount so big that it ostensibly handed the Patriots pick number 199, was the New York Friken Jets. The New York Jets, at the time, a projected Super Bowl contender. Quote, it was a no-brainer, Tom Tupa said, which was true because of all the money, yes, but also because of the specific coach that he was once again going to be joining.

with the Jets. I know our program's good. I'm confident of what we can do with the players and in terms of developing young players here and building a stronger program and with the Jets' commitment to this program, I think we've got a great future. Tupa was reuniting with the guy who had resurrected

and now funded his new NFL career, Bill Belichick, for a third time. Belichick was another nomad, another guy, who had gone to the Jets, and he was there at a set-up shop with his mentor, Bill Parcells, which now takes us back to the very first thing that I told you guys about Tom Tupa, which was about the shoes that he immediately had to fill

at quarterback, remember, in week one of that fateful 1999 season, a game which happened to be against, cosmically, the New England Patriots. Exactly 25 years ago, today. That's Tom Tupa's shoes you're looking at. Those are punter shoes.

Look at it. Left foot. That looks like a slipper. The right foot, one you kicked with. The whole reason Tom Tupa was even out there was because in the second quarter, the Jets franchise quarterback, the actual guy they were hoping to see play,

Vinnie Testa Verdi, had torn his Achilles on a seemingly routine handoff. And holding his leg on the ground is Vinnie Testa Bertie. Or the way he's beating that turf, it's not good news for the New York Jets. Yeah, it was completely catastrophic for the New York Jets, actually. Because what happened was that obscure NFL rules at the time made it so that using your emergency quarterback before the fourth quarter

meant that you could no longer play either your first or second-string quarterbacks. And this is meaningful because in yet another cosmically fateful roster decision by the New York Jets, Tom Tupa, their punter, was actually listed as their second string quarterback, which they did in order to open up an extra roster spot for special teams, which was clever, right? Unless Vinnie Testa Verdi happened to suddenly get hurt midgame. I asked Bill Parcells, we did the Green Bay, New York just preseason game, and what did I say? I said, Coach, what would happen if Vinny Testa Bertie went down?

And what was his answer? He goes, and I remember his face. He said, he didn't even answer the question. He didn't even want to deal with the fact what it would be like without Testaburdy as his quarterback. But the real reason that all of this was so completely catastrophic for the New York Jets was not because Tom Tupa suddenly had to play quarterback again. Tom Tupa, actually, was killing it. Two-point Tupa had turned into touchdown Tom.

Good job, but Tom Tupa faking the defense into an outside throw and lays it in for the touchdown. And the Jets will now go for two. By the fourth quarter, Tom Tupa had thrown two touchdowns for 165 yards with no interceptions and had a passer rating of 143.7. The Jets were only trailing by five, entering the fourth. At which point, Jets' head coach Bill Parcells made another big decision. Because in the fourth quarter, according to the aforementioned obscure rule, he could finally put in his real emergency quarterback, the guy he would have liked to see, without any penalty,

a guy by the name of Rick Meirer. And so the Jets put Rick Meirer into the game as soon as the fourth quarter started, as soon as possible. and Rick Meyer proceeded to throw the game away. That was Rick Meyer's first completion. He's going for his second one. Now Warren down inside, he's intercepted.

Twice. Meyer over the middle, popped up into the air and intercepted. He was three and a half minutes to play, and the Patriot with a shot. Rick Meyer threw two picks. He threw two picks. He completed just four passes of 11 attempts. The guy, shit the bed is what he did. And the Jets lost by two points.

It was a game that they should have won, and I can tell you this because I rewatched it in full, and I think that if Bill Parcells had kept two point-tupa in the game, they would not have lost by two. I say this with full confidence. But I also wouldn't even be telling you about any of these things, about Rick Meyer, unless something else had happened.

Further down this absurd chain of dominoes, several months later now, because the New York Jets, again a would-be Super Bowl contender, finished eight and eight, and they missed the playoffs entirely by one game. One game, at which point an exhausted Bill Parcells retired, vowing to never coach again, and he handed the reins to his heir. Bill Belichick, the dude who became the Jets head coach for exactly one day. I'll read you the statement that I gave to them. Due to the various uncertainties surrounding my position as it relates to the team's new ownership, I've decided to resign as the head coach of the New York Jets. I've given this decision very careful consideration. I would like to wish the entire New York Jets organization, the players, the coaching staff,

and the new ownership, the very best of luck for a prosperous people. You may now be able to guess what happened just three weeks later. Hopefully this press conference will go a little better than the last one I had. First of all,

I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight. I know it's late and short notice. I know the last three weeks have probably been trying for all of you. but that's all behind me. I'm tremendously excited to be here to be a part of the New England Patriots organization. This is a first-class operation. I've had an outstanding experience in 1996 when I was here with a page.

All of which finally brings us to April of 2000. This is just four months after that introductory presser in New England, when Bill Belichick, the new head coach, and general manager of the Patriots found himself holding a compensatory pick late in the sixth round. And with pick number 199 of the 2000 NFL draft,

the New England Patriots looked down at their draft card at the space right beneath the words compensatory selection written in all caps in red ink, and they made the decision that changed everything. The skinny beanpole of a young man walked over to me and said,

Hi, Mr. Kraft. I want to introduce myself. I'm Tom Brady. I said, I know who you are. You're our six-round draft choice. And I always remember he looked me like a laser eye-to-eye. And he said, that's right. And I'm the best decision.

This organization has ever made. And I think you probably know the rest. All right. So before we go, near the end of the episode here, I do feel obligated to address what I believe is the first thing that fans of the New York Jets found out today,

which is that you guys did it to yourselves. Right? You did. You decided to give Bill Belichick's favorite free agent punter the most money that an NFL team had ever paid a punter. You then had him almost deliver a win in the first game he ever played for the Jets. But then you benched him in the fourth quarter when you needed him the most

and you failed to make the playoffs that year. And all of that, all of that is what led to New England hiring Bill Belichick, who promptly used that pick that the Patriots got as compensation for losing that same free agent punter you paid all that money to, to draft Tom B'in Brady. That's how it happened. And so, yeah, I apologize on some level for what your therapy bills may now become, but I'm also not done. Because the second thing that I feel obligated to address here, as I now lobby to rename the butterfly effect after Tom Tupa, the Tupa effect, it's what I believe lots of you skeptics may still be thinking about me, which is that I didn't really finish the journey that Barnwell started, and that my

whole grand conclusion here is still just a giant guess. And I get it. I do. I'm the guy who told you that only the NFL office has access to, you know, God's secret compensatory big board. I'm the one who made this whole thing about how, you know, someone from the inside can be the only person to know for sure how the league ranks the value of Tom Tupah versus Todd Collins versus Mark Wheeler. I am that person. But I do have one last update for you on that note. An update for you and for compensatory Chad, actually. because while Santa, former VP of Labor

Information, Steve Vail, never did reply to my letter, I did not stop writing letters because that's just my brain. I wrote letters to various other people who might have seen the list and I also got nothing back. But one day,

one day very recently, after hearing me explain in increasingly desperate tone, what I'd been trying to investigate, in my capacity as compensatory Mori Povich, someone inside the NFL office did something that shocked me. They replied.

They rode back to Pavl Torre finds out, opening this Ark of the Covenant for the first time in 25 years. Quote, below are the 2000 season compensatory picks awarded to the Patriots, the NFL office wrote in a detailed email, along with the player lost in the 1999 season, that resulted in such an award,

all of which means that I can now declare something, officially. I can officially declare that in the case of pick number 199, in the 2000 NFL draft, a.k.a. Tom Brady, the greatest draft pick, who has ever lived, the actual compensatory mori, has something to say. Tom Tupa, you are the father. That is what I found out today.

And so, in conclusion, fuck you, Chad. I'm Pablo Torre, and this was, by the way, the real Mori povich. Not some AI bot. So thank you to the Real Mori for rejoining Pablo Toray finds out. We just produced, as always,

by Metal Arc Media. We'll talk to you next time.