Pablo Torre Finds Out - The Revolution of Stavros Halkias Will Be Vindicated

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

The foul-mouthed comedian, actor and podcaster is everywhere — including, but not limited to, wielding a T-shirt cannon on the football sidelines. He might also represent the future of a movement that realigns our politics. Pablo enters Stavvy's world to flip the script on how private equity created a sports bubble (while ruining your chicken sandwich) and why the "soulless corporate centrists" of the Democratic Party are marching us toward fascism. Plus: the Voting Rights Act for "Inside the NBA," the '96 Bullsness of true crime, the open-source formula behind Ronnie the Ravens super-fan... and why there's no such thing as a "good" Kushner.• Watch "Uncle Stav" on Netflix• Subscribe to "Stavvy's World"• Previously on PTFO: We Investigated Magic Johnson, Mark Walter... and Your Nest Egg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. If they destroy the Lakers, guys with Kobe back tattoos are going to start fucking like the proletariat revolution, I think. Right after this. How different is this whole setup from what your previous setup was? I mean, dude, we were in my spare bedroom in Astoria for two years, you know? Like, this is insane.

This is... Like, when people came in, they could not believe where the studio was. We've upgraded since then. I mean, we did some big episodes there. It was really, the funniest one was Blake getting out of a black car in my neighborhood in Queens? And just look, like, I was on the balcony. I saw him be like, what the fuck?

Like, I saw him be like, even though I warned him, it's an apartment, it was really funny to see him just like look, like look around. And I'm like, dude, up here. But yeah, now we have a fucking hilariously legit setup. I'm just feeling the groove inside of it. I mean, it feels like a child sitting in. Like trying an adult shoe on. I'm like, there's a lot more room.

Yeah, dude. It's a very powerful automobile you're at the helm of right now. Try and keep up. I don't know if... Too much horsepower. I don't know if I should be able to drive this vehicle. Too much horsepower. Give it your best shot, buddy. Don't worry.

It is really good to have you in your own studio. Yeah, it's good to be had. Honestly, it is nice to just be here. It's annoying for you to come here. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have to go to some other studio. This is where I'm here anyway. So, yes, it feels like I did you a favor,

but this is actually cutting down on my commute quite a bit. Have you sat in this couch before? First time, and I really like it. I think, you know, we're giving the guests a good experience. Someday you'll be flipped. You'll be on Stavvy's World. You'll get the guest experience. But you'll be the first ever guest on Stavvy's World.

to have hosted a podcast from my chair before even doing the show. So congratulations to you, my friend. What is in your Tumblr? I'm on some throat coat right now. I've had a wild weekend. I've been promoting my special Uncle Stavv. Please watch it on Netflix. We spent the first week in the top 10.

We were up against some stiff competition to. Who were you trying to knock off that list? Well, I, the last time I'm... Who were you most furious out when you were like this fucking show? There was like eight, there was like literally like three generic murder documentaries came out. And that's, in streaming, that's the 96 Bulls. Like, women for some reason love to be scared about murder. Their favorite genre is like, what if the worst thing of all time happened?

But it happened to a different lady. And now we're going to get the killer through forensic evidence years later. And one of those came out. Alex Earle's show came out. The last thing that locked me out of the top 10 for good was, Monday Night Raw. I woke up Tuesday morning out of the top 10

courtesy of Roman Raines. I was bumped out of it. We're here to change that stuff. That's right. I'm going to get the fucking Pablo bump. If the Clippers thing is any indication about three years after you report it, I will be top 10 on Netflix.

You too will be vindicated. Yeah, some crazy lead time on the Tory bump. It's like... It takes about two and a half years. There's a whole like stegasauri. nervous nervous system thing going on. It's like you touch the tail and then eventually the brain will realize, I think something happened here.

How's it feel? We can get back to me, but you've got to be on a victory tour right now. You've got to be on a victory lap. We have both been on. That's true. Parallel tours. That's true. It's been, for me, and I think genuinely, to be very sincere for a second,

the feedback that I receive out in the street has changed. Interesting. Wow. Because people are saying stuff like, and this makes me so, warm and fuzzy inside, they say, thank you for your reporting. Wow. Isn't it, I mean, look, I love that you're doing it, but it's so funny that you're the only journalist in America is for fucking bullshit sports. You know what I mean? You're doing great work, and I appreciate it, but it's like, you know, a couple other motherfuckers looking at just straight up investment banks

instead of like, you know what I mean, and like private equity instead of when it intersects with sports would be nice. But, you know, I do think this, might be the only way we teach people about how bad private equity is. I need a caveat, even as I say what people say to me, that like, I am not a war photographer. Right, right, right, right, right. I am actually in Gaza. I am a sports reporter. There's a place they are literally killing journalists. You're doing fine. I am sitting in a very deep chair right now. Upholstered IKEA, by the way. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get it. Cost effective. But feeling expensive. Yes, exactly right. kind of the opposite of sports.

That's right. True. Yeah, everything costs so much money. It fucking sucks. Every fanatics jersey, like, if it gets wet, it melts off you. Even, like, gimmick sports, like the Savannah bananas are starting to charge too much to see them now. It's like, everyone gouges you at every level. But I do think, like, I mean, it is funny.

We were talking about earlier. Obviously, it sucks if the clippers cheated. They should not have done that. But it's so funny that the owner getting in trouble is the only one that kids. hairs to figure out a way to pay more money to his players. And every other fucking owner is like, ah, sorry, we got to play hardball with like our fucking, I mean,

I remember when the Ravens wouldn't pay Lamar. And I was like, what the fuck are you idiots doing? Just fucking do whatever he wants. Well, two parallel sort of stories we were investigating at a time was this one with the clippers and the salary capture convention stuff with Kaui Leonard. And then on the other hand, it was the NFL PA and NFL collusion scandal. Yeah. Making office to Lamar Jackson.

Which is so fucking. insane he's so good it's like the guy was a f***in MVP already his career is actually very equivalent to Peyton manning in my opinion where it's like they were both started their careers insane regular season uh quarterbacks i think Josh Allen's MVP belongs to Lamar I think that was a complete bullshit like Josh is a great player but Lamar was better in that regular season and to me the idea that that would never have imagine if Peyton Manning at the same time in his career was up for free agency there's no way there would be fucking dying to pay him whatever, whatever they could.

But so anyway, it is, it is just, it's funny that the incentive structure in sports is like the owner that tries to pay the player more than he's worth is banned from the $200 billion palace that he created. The only guy using computers to improve the fan experience and not spying on them, he has to fucking, are they spying? They are doing, they're doing facial recognition. Okay, all right, I take it back. At the end of the day, he's still one of the richest guys in all time.

Microsoft during an antitrust. Totally, totally. He crushed a bunch of little computer programmers on his way to the Clippers. That's true. He was ruthless in his own little zone for sure. But the question of why fans can care about fundamentally class consciousness because they are huge sports fans is real. It is something that I feel every day. And you are going to be on a stage somewhere at some point.

addressing a rally. Yeah, I don't know about that. But I'm thinking of like who else is on this? Yeah, yeah, true. He sees this. No, really. Can I be honest, the two things that I think might,

because I think it's clear that what's fucking us up is like private equity and money taking over these things that are all, products that are awesome, right? Let's, sports is the easiest one, but the one I've actually latched on to recently that I think goes hand in hand with sports

is fast food. Because everybody understands, stands that Wendy's has gotten shittier, the spicy chicken sandwich now uses shredded lettuce. Exactly right there, that is private equity. That is someone saying we don't want a fresh head of lettuce. That costs more money. So we're going to get you bagged shitty lettuce. And I know in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal.

But people will notice Jersey Mikes was bought, I think two years ago. It started to get shit. It was one of the, it was the best sandwich chain. It's getting shittier because some kid who's never fucking spread mayo. in his life decided, oh, no, actually, instead of a sandwich, this is now a commodity, right? And what's important is that by turning the buyer experience, the consumer experience shittier, I, some dickhead that's never made a sandwich gets a billion extra dollars, right? I was just looking up.

So Blackstone. Blackstone. Of course, acquired a controlling majority stake in Jersey Mike subs in early 2025 for approximately $8 billion. Insane. Insane. Those people don't give a f*** about sandwiches. The before and after, I mean, you're right,

there are only so many active, active fan communities. Totally. That'll be like, this is what it used to be like. This is how much salami I was getting. And now look at this shit. And now I think with sports, so for me, I think this Lakers, the latest Lakers thing is like, now we're starting to get a sports bubble.

Because I don't think the Lakers are worth $11 billion. 12 and a half. Or 12 and a half, whatever it was. And the people, people buying it are fucking private equity. It's the good Kushner. Get the fuck out of here. There's no good Kushner. What the fuck were we talking about? And these people see these as assets. I mean, the guy who, the guy who sold it to him didn't do shit, really. And then just when and because an opportunity came up, somebody offered him so much money. He was like, and he's like,

he was selling like, the way he even bought the team seems to be off people's pensions, right? Yeah, we did an episode about this and it is worth listening to even though. Yeah, yeah, I will. But on the front end. Yeah. On the front end. it's about insurance companies. Right. And immediately, if you're thinking about how are you communicating with fans, you're like, okay, this is a problem.

We're leading with insurance. But in effect, it's Mark Walter owns insurance companies. Insurance companies take money, the nest eggs from America's parents and grandparents. Right, right, right. They entrust it to a very wealthy, in this case, individual who owns a bunch of institutions.

And the idea is, you take care of this with risk-averse investment so that we are safe. Yeah. And instead, what he did, according to our reporting and a federal investigation is, yeah, he was not disclosing, I'm lending this to my other entities so I can buy sports teams for record prices. Yeah.

And it's either that, it's either scams, it's either basically like soft Ponzi schemes that are like, hey, if it all works out, we all keep our money. But if it doesn't work out, you're a f*** and I own the Dodgers, right? Or getting like shadowy money from Saudi billionaires. It's either way, whatever we're doing is evil. and the only thing it's jacking up is these prices. And now people who don't love fucking sports are buying these teams

because it's the best, it's something for their portfolio. And I don't want this to happen. I don't want there to be a sports bubble. I don't want, I love, I truly, you know, I love hoops, I love football, baseball, you know, shout out to the Orioles. But they're so clearly important to the fabric of our society.

But I do think if one of these fucking billionaires ruins a franchise, you might have like, Goomba fucking, like, football fans reading Carl Marx. If, like, if, if, if, if they, if they destroy the Lakers, guys with Kobe back tattoos are going to start fucking, like, the proletariat revolution, I think. I think that's the closest we're getting to class consciousness is fast food and sports teams. And I hope they don't get ruined.

I really hope not. But it is fucking crazy that, and that's the thing, it's like, none of these guys care. None of these guys actually give a f***. I grew up a Yankee fan and the idea that I romantically am remembering George Steinbrough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's a great example.

It's like that guy cared so much about the fucking Yankees. You don't want some guy who bought a team because he looked at a chart and said, oh, teams have appreciated and value 200% since 1990. No, I want a guy who loves

the fuck, hidden dingers. You know what I mean? I want a guy who loves when a beautiful spiral. I want a guy who sees a beautiful spiral and it makes his d'g hard. I don't want a guy who sees like fourth quarter projections going up and he's like, yes, this is awesome. So I don't know. I'm worried about too much money in sports because it seems to be the only thing that's appreciating in a way that at least has some great value in our

society, but we're getting to the point where it's even overdoing that, I think. Yes. My fear is that we are watching what's happening with like AI. And the detachment from revenue that the valuations of these companies are demonstrating. And at a certain point, you need to actually justify the price. I know it's just like, I don't fucking really know about economics, but isn't running a business supposed to be you create something useful and get paid for it? Not like you convince a bunch of dumbass rich people to keep giving you an endless font of money because you're just doing the Theranos thing.

AI is like Theranos on fucking steroids right now. It's so fake. It's a mix of like, we improved some existing computer programs. Like, we made Photoshop better. We made Adobe audition better. The Microsoft paperclip. Yes. The Clippy, yeah, Clippy has some new skills now, right?

And some of that is good. Obviously, computer, what is, you know, but they've combined everything into AI. Anything on a computer now, they claim is AI. That doesn't mean it's a sentient being that's going to fix all our problems. and also like, you know. I do like how the two choices in front of us are, A, this whole industry might wreck our economy.

Or B, we're all going to die because of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's either the version in which this isn't a real product and we've all over-invested in this. Of course. It's that meme that I keep on thinking about where it's like Nvidia and OpenAI is a surge projector plugged into itself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like paying an endless circle of round-trip money or this is actually, you know, Terminator 2. And we should all... It's the Great Depression or it's Skynet. Those seem to be... Or things keep getting slightly shittier. That's the best case scenario.

It's just like slightly shittier. But anyway, who knows? I just... That Lakers sale was really fucking strange to me. But I just like the idea of like a guy, as you put it, who is a Baltimore Ravens fan. Totally. Actively becoming furious

that there is a class of people we have made more billionaires than there's ever been before. Yep. this class of people is constantly just making their favorite television show worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. They're doing the homework. Yeah.

And that's why sports ends up being this venue to actually have conversations that apparently have a finger on the pulse in ways that none of the real life shit does. Yeah, that's true because AI is kind of opaque on purpose and no one really knows what's going on behind there. But you can see if a fucking hot dog costs $9 now. If you have kids, you can't afford to take a family of five to go to a fucking Orioles game, Ravens game, whatever. Like, it's getting worse and worse. I mean, those two, shout out to them, make a great fan experience.

But other franchises have a real big problem where it's like people who are just sort of like these scumbag owners that own eight different teams across eight different leagues, all different cities. It's like you obviously don't give that. That's the other part is that all these private equity firms and these sovereign wealth funds, they are buying shares in multiple teams.

Yeah. And it used to be, by the way, it used to be that these were not allowed in sports by rule because the leagues all knew what was the risk. Of course. You're going to get people who aren't here for winning but for profit who are not invested in the way that the fans are invested. And then they said, we're going to let them in, but they're going to be capped. So it's like 20%. Right.

And but at the same time, you get on multiple shares. And then it's like, okay, well, guess what? Now Apollo Global Management owns some of the Yankees. And I'm like, we were all comfortable with the Yankees being an evil empire unto themselves. Totally. The idea of welcoming in the Jeffrey Epstein coaching tree is unbelievable. The guys currently suppressing the Epstein files owned 20% of the Yankees. Like, why are we?

Who asked for this? Yeah. No, I know. It's fucking insane, dude. It's like a sports team should try and win games and do a great fan-ean. experience. That should be their two things while turning a, you know, decent profit. But it shouldn't be about constantly making more and more and more money. And I think that's how businesses are, too. It's like, you know, the Costco hot dog, the Arizona iced tea, the keep it 99 cents, keep it

two fucking bucks. It's all the dollar store where it's actually $15 at the checkout aisle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're advertising this as one thing. And every fee and everybody gets swallowed up by fees. But there's another argument I think that's really important that I think you also embody, which is why I'm also excited to talk to you about this. Yeah. Which is that having a view of class consciousness does not mean that you are taking yourself a vow of poverty. No, of course not. And I think this is the big with the DSA and the whole in the entire politics of all of this. It's like, I see that you are supporting taxing the rich and yet you live in a nice house. I know. I hate that shit because it's like, no, I'm tax me. I'm, I don't deserve all

this money. Right. Truly. please tax me just don't give fucking local police districts grenades don't give them rocket launchers and fucking don't give it to the IDF give it to fucking kids give it to hungry families let's get a social safety net and yes i think you should be able to make an awesome business make a product and get rich off of it what you shouldn't do is buy eight other people's great businesses and then slowly turn them shi become a completely destroy something a lot of people love so that you can like a fucking scavenger, strip it for parts until it's a shell of itself, but you end up having $5 billion.

Like, to me, I don't think bribe record should exist at all. I think you should get to, like, even the stock. Sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is the stock market? So it's like, so let's say you bought shares in John Deere and they had a great fucking year. Some, whet who does, who's never put a, you know, put together a tractor. Why don't the guys who built the tractor get the extra money? money. You know what I mean? Why don't they get the extra revenue instead of just an investor had nothing to fucking do with it except happen to have money? These people are actually building

this thing. And yes, that's the thing I can't stand where people are like, oh, socialist, but he has a, you know, but he fucking, you know. Supports public health care. Yeah, it's like, oh, you're a socialist, but you make a lot of money. It's like, yeah, dude. My point is just take some of my money and give it to people who don't have it. I'm not saying never make any money. This is like this giant lane in politics that is so wide open. And the lane is, what if we all wanted to make $999 million? Yeah, totally.

What if we just stopped $1 short of a billion? We're not even saying take away the ability to go to Bohemia Grove, whatever the fuck you weirdos want to fucking do. Just can we have health care? Can we start there? Because, yeah, I mean, that is such an insane amount. of money. It's hard for people to, it's hard for me to visualize. So like Steve Balmer, when I was trying to visualize this, he has $174 billion, one of the 10 rich people in the

world, depending on Microsoft stock. He's the largest individual shareholder, I believe, of Microsoft. I was trying to envision like, why are, so the other thing that's happened is that all these NBA owners now, I have felt a realignment there where they're like, oh, this annoying investigative reporter actually might be doing something that we have interest in because we feel class solidarity against the dude with $174 billion. Wow. That's fucking hilarious to think about. Literal billionaires are afraid of his wealth. That is the irony. Balmer, I wish, owned any team that I loved because he has so much money and he's willing to do whatever it takes to win. As long as the federal government does not undo

his plan of free agent acquisitions. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. It's like, that is the irony, too, is that like we, we do. We do. We do. We do. We do it. We do it. We do it. We do it's like, we don't have a free market. We have a market stacked to get, like, that guy could, like, even sports, like, LeBron is so underpaid, right? So many, so many players are underpaid. And that got, Balmer, if allowed to operate in a free market, would destroy these other guys. He actually is the exception to the rule. Most of those guys, even rich as fuck, wouldn't want to spend their money. And I think the sort of visual image of a guy with 174 billion against someone with a few billion. Three bill. Yeah, exactly.

versus a normal person. Another thing that I want to experiment with in terms of political messaging is what if we changed billion? We should just not... We need to come up with a word that doesn't rhyme with million. Sure.

Because I think the rhyming thing is like one letter off. It makes it feel closer than it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's not at all. Right, because we go to 1,000 to million. Those are completely different. We feel that jump so viscerally. That feels different.

Million billion, you kind of like maybe mishear it. You're like, oh, is a million? billionaire, I lost, I didn't really hear it. Totally. And it's like, what do we call that? The Republican Party is so good at coming up with the death tax. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just think how we even classify how much money we're talking about, we're doing a favor

to the people who have it. Yeah. And we just got a quadrillion. Can we just add more syllables? Quadrillion sounds-cagillion? Cagillion? Now we're sounding fake, though. Now we're sounding little kid.

Quadrillion is the right middle ground, but it does, unfortunately, is tied to. to a number. Yes. And so we can't use that because that's just not what it is. But it sounds way more impressive than even billion or trillion. Trillion is starting to get there.

Trillion. Trillion, trillion, started to get there. You know what it is? Billion should be trillion. And trillion should be quadrillion. We should lose billion. Billion, because it rhymes too cleanly with million.

Yes. Like a guy, like a dentist with a fucking $3 million house with 10 million bucks in the bank or whatever, that guy is effectively has zero dollars compared to even the $1 billion guy who that guy is scared of somebody like Balmer, let alone someone like Musk or, you know, a bunch of money in Saudi Arabia,

those guys don't just declare how much money they have. That's another thing. It's like, I think some of the richest people in the world probably just don't let you know how much fucking money they have. They also all just borrow money. They have enough money that people will lend them money and they're taxed differently. They are never spending their own money effectively. Like the levels of wealth are beyond.

I mean, and again, this is all stuff that I've come to learn because you study sports enough and how money is flowing and you realize, oh, it's what's happening in the larger economy. Where is private equity and sovereign wealth fund money also very prominent in politics?

Politics, entertainment. In entertainment. Anything that costs a ton of money, if you need to make a movie, if you need to run a sports team, that just costs a lot of money. People with a ton of money are going to figure out how to get involved

on those things. I think that it's very funny that we're also talking to you after you attended your first college football. First college football game. I think I like, I tailgated and never made it to a really shi-terps game

way back in the day when I was in college. They were bad when I was in college. But yes, my first actual college football game was this, I'm actually feeling the effects of, I had fun for the first time in like weeks. A friend of mine has a hookup over with the longhorns and we just got a, a big-ass crew together and he was like, come on down. I have, you know, I have some friends in

Austin, made a little weekend out of it, got a hotel swam in the pool, you know, I've been promoting the special the last couple weeks and for the next few weeks. So I was like, a little weekend vacation. And I ended up seeing one of the sickest games of all time. It was crazy. That comeback was fucking insane. You are, so you are our new college football correspondent. Yes. And on your first assignment, what did you find out? College football is fucking awesome. Number one, sick as fuck. And what I have admired about college football is that they figured out a way to every week there's one playoff game. Every week there's one game that really fucking matters.

And it was kind of insane to be in what, week two or week three of the season. And it was the atmosphere was a fucking playoff. I've been to the AFC championship. It was that atmosphere. It's fucking crazy. And I got to see an insane comeback. It was one of those things. What was the emotional swing?

inside of that building. Starts out so hot. Everybody's so pumped. But that game started with those really fluky play. I mean, immediately they turned the ball over. Texas turns the ball over. That takes some fucking air out of the stadium. And then that fucking weird interception

where it bounces. And then even the next drive, Arch hit somebody, like they dropped what would have been a pretty clear touchdown. And so the vibes were like, there was no moment. Like, it felt so dead. kind of felt like, fuck, am I part of the jinks here? You know what I mean? Because it was like my buddy

who had the hookup was Glenn Powell, who went to Austin. He deserves to be there 100%. But he's a nice guy. We worked on a movie together. He invited me. You know, there's a bunch of like people in like movie and shit. I'm like, oh, fuck, did we do the like Taylor Swift and Hymn sisters in, right, right. Are we Apollo Global Management? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, should we be doing wordplay t-shirts in the front row? Like, are we putting a, like, cele jinks? Are we, like, doing a Hollywood jails? I was like, they let me shoot the fucking t-shirt canon.

I was like, which was the best, one of the most thrilling moments of my life. Any sporting event, there is no one more excited to the person who might get a t-shirt. Dude, yes, oh my God. Having that power, I felt like God. People were like, here, please!

What was your strategy for operating the t-shirt canon? So they made it pretty dummy-proof. Basically, I just had to crank. it goes fump it feels so powerful when it leaves and you feel like you had control of it but you know just trying to spray evenly get some change the distribution let me throw a couple you know that was that was nerve-wracking you don't want to you don't want to throw a duck i like that you were operating the teacher canon as an ally i'm making sure that all all all underrepresented groups are i was seeing it as like i'm giving like a humanitarian aid like that's because a gun a cannon is

usually very negative. You're killing people. I saw it as a positive canon. A canon that's dropping like, you know, I don't know, fucking oatmeal or whatever. It's literally giving clothes to the needy. Giving clothes to the needy to the needy, absolutely. So, but into the third quarter, I mean, dude, beyond dead, truly, because Texas looked good, but they had a couple flukes. And then Ohio State, to their credit, we're doing a really good job every time it felt like, uh-oh, here comes a little momentum, some backbreaking play would happen. And it felt fucking strange, but I mean, I remember even that in the fourth quarter, you're saying like, all right, get a score here and it's a ballgame, but you don't really believe it. You know what I mean? And then it happened. The stakes of when

you're not merely like feeling, man, this is a bummer because it's so much more fun if the team, the home team wins. It's the walk home, the walk afterwards. It's just like everything is now sad. And you're going to be blamed for this. People will be like, this. fat fucking idiot they let him what the fuck does he know about UT like it's like why was he throwing the t-shirts he's a that's why we've fucking lost we've gotten we've gotten too fucking woke

you know like that's what would have happened if they lost but now you and that photo of all of the South Asian students yes yes totally totally which I thought which is so funny because it's like how are you so racist that today's Republican party is like whoa dude chill

they're just going to college I remember thinking I saw the band and it was like truly the most diverse group of people I've ever seen, right? Like, ever, in any context. It was like, yes, so many different, there's a lot of South Asian kids. There was a lot of, like, kids who learned to play musical instruments growing up. It turns out are a rainbow coalition that also want to enjoy football. Exactly, exactly.

But, yeah, that guy, that's so funny, that guy, like. But that photo is just like, one of the kids in the front is wearing a literal cowboy hat. They're all running the playbook that you guys told them to run. That's assimilation 101, right? In fact, like, you're right. I didn't even consider that where you could see that from a different perspective

and be like, these kids have completely sold out him to America, right? Like, if my cousin's seen me with a fucking cowboy hat. But that, I mean, that's so clear. I mean, obviously, that guy's so fucking stupid and racist. That could be Greek people.

He wouldn't say a fucking thing, right? My dad doesn't speak English that well, right? These kids are probably truly more American than me in many ways, because I was raised to not truly love America. Like my dad was like, I'm here because of your fucking mom. The second I get a little money, we're going back to that paradise of Greece. By the way, while an economic collapse is happening, my dad's like,

fuck, we should be there right now. I'm like, why? No one my generation has a job. He's like, still, it was a mistake. So like, I bet you those kids all love being here, whatever. But of course, it's just purely about skin color for these fucking idiots. So, you know. But again, it was good to see that there is a line because even other.

Texas Republicans were like, come on, man, chill. I kind of want to go to more college games because, I mean, that's the thing about being at those games. It is not about the actual gameplay. It is like being in a crowd, cheering things on. It's about truly human connection. You're just fucking chilling with people who we all have this in common. From like, you know, somebody's 75-year-old conservative grandfather to some like 90s.

18 year old non-binary Filipino kid, you know, playing the tuba. You know what I mean? Like everyone here is like, it was this awesome like you. And that's, again, the beauty of sports, the uniting factor of sports. And that's why it's keep outside money out of it. Keep people who don't want anything but winning and fan experience. Keep them the fuck out of it. You know what?

You should even fucking lose money on a sports franchise because it's a fucking privilege to be the owner of a fucking sports team. I'm tired of us never seeing. being rich as a privilege, there's only 32 whatever teams. That's a, you're lucky to have that. And it should be seen as a public service, I think. You should only be an owner. It should be almost like, especially if you're taking municipal,

fucking tax dollars. You should have a sports citizenship test for owners. That's a fucking great idea. They should have to do, like, medium-level bar sports trivia. Like, just like who won finals MVP when your team won? That's it. Yep. Who was, you know,

name four postseason awards. Name one sixth man from your franchise. It can be multiple choice. Who is this? Who is this? Who he play for? Yo, that would be advanced. If an owner passes who he play for, he automatic or her gets to, you know.

We want the voting rights act, but it's just inside the NBA is who he play for. Totally. Oh my God. Right now, I will tell you, I have heard enough stories about the people buying these teams and the consortiums that go in, they would not pass that.

That would be awesome. They would not pass that. If we televise owners' sports citizenship test, that would be the highest rated show of all time. What they do to NFL players at the Combine? Yeah, make these motherfuckers run. That would be fun too. Make them dress like they're at the Combine.

Make them wear little shorts and tight. Compression shorts with like a number written on, with their net worth written over it. That would be awesome. They're doughy, rich guy bodies. I know I'm fat as well, but, you know, it's nice to see. I just like the powerful taking down a notch. And so their physical prowess and their sports knowledge would be nice.

But they got to, you got to at least speak the language. Be a actual sports fan. I wonder how many, I mean, if we went down the list, how many owners are actually sports fans? It's a good question. Well, I think the reality is that because the incentives around these things are either the financialization of them or you get to belong to the most exclusive country club in America. That's really what it is, right? You get the idea of, well, I've always wanted to be cool,

and now I get to buy the thing that is the coolest thing. And all we're saying is tell me what the five positions on an NBA quarter of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, absolutely. How far are you from the videos that you post? Yeah, what's up? It's Ronnie. I'm out of your M&T Bank Stadium in the back. I'm sneaking in. I'm technically not allowed to be here

because the last time the Ravens gave me free tickets coincidentally two Super Bowl rings went missing and coincidentally a security guard did find them in my purple cameo cargo pants. I was saying it's a coincidence the Raven said I'm banned for life from M&T Bank and if I ever come back they will call the police. That don't matter to me though

because a Baltimore Raven fan, a true Raven fan is not afraid of getting arrested. I was not missing this game for nothing, you know? The Ravens are going to win 100 to nothing. Lamar's going to have eight touchdowns. The defense, five pick, sixes, and I'm going to drink 100 beers.

Let's get Ravens. We're going to Super Bowl, baby. How do you explain that person versus you? Yeah, it's interesting because the character, Ronnie, has really taken on an insane life that I never could have fathomed. My entire career is like this, right? This, like, you should just start doing something for fun, and somehow I became, like, the unofficial romewomeness.

Ravens mascot, to the point where the Ravens are just like, shout out to the organization. That's how cool they are, truly, that a completely foul-mouthed, over-the-top caricature of their dumbest type of fan, they embrace that. They get it enough to embrace it, which is awesome. And the secret sauce is when the thoughts that the dumbest guy in the fan base and my personal thoughts align. That's the truth. Because, like, the character, look, it's also pretty formulaic.

I'll be honest, I'm not going to do it every week anymore. because it's just like a little ironic racism, a little ironic sexism or homophobia, over-the-top accent, mentioned Joe Flacco, say a weird perverted sex thing that the guy is into. Sneak that in where people are like, wait, did I hear that right?

That's the formula, right? If anybody wants it, it's open source. The Ronnie formula is open source. Feel free. I would actually, I would love to like hand over the mantle to unofficial Ravens fan to somebody else. Oh, I like that too. Now, I'll always, home opener, season opener, I'm going to do it.

Playoffs, I'm probably going to do it. Big games where something horrible or awesome happens. You're like, we're playing the Browns. I'm not doing a video when we're playing the Browns in, you know, in week six or whatever. Although maybe, because the thing is what the Browns are so fun to make fun of. I know someone is in trouble when my mentions start populating with, investigate this and it's just a photo of the owner. Yeah.

Like, oh, yeah, the revolution is. is brewing. Yeah. By the way, that is what I foresee is that, like, Ronnie is the person who will be calling for the revolution.

Ronnie becoming not a Ravens fan so much as an avatar of class consciousness. That guy is going to take a lot for that. That's a good way to think of it because that's going to take a lot. Because I do think

there's something is going on now where it's like, well, I'm culturally liberal, fiscally conservative. You'd hear that all the time. Yes. We're getting the opposite. We're getting a lot of people now who are like, I am culturally conservative and fiscally liberal.

I want universal health care. I want this stuff. And I care a lot about my Medicare premiums and trans girls not playing softball. Like there are people who are like, that's their top two issues. And that's our politics are bizarre right now. It's the realignment. Yeah. And which is what's scary is like if one populist fascist gave people health care and was like,

but still immigrants and gay people are the problem. They would win in a fucking landslide. It's so scary. And that's why it's like, I hope Democrats stop being the fucking dickless cowards. They've been in the last 20 years and actually offer some policy to people and aren't trying to like hide behind propriety

and all this other bullshit. They're still trying to be centrist, it feels like, which is so, such, such lunacy. But, you know, fingers crossed, they actually give people something to vote for in the most gimmy election of all time. If they try and go corporate, you know, soulless corporate centrists again,

they are marching us towards fascism because at some point, someone's going to be like, you get health care and we round up immigrants. And like, that's going to be fucking scary, dude. That, unfortunately, is a really winning political message right now. Absolutely. And I'm happy that at least fascists are as tied to health care money

as centrists are. I'm so glad that fascists are currently captured by corporate interests. Literally, dude, if, yes, that is... When they learned how to run the ball and throw it, we are fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're really f***ked. But in the meantime, Ravens are going to the Super Bowl. You know what I mean? Like, no matter what your politics are, it feels so awesome to watch people tackle each other,

shoot threes, hit home runs. Just, and that's the other beauty of sports. It's like when sports aren't on, you kind of have to think about what to watch. Kind of be like, oh, should I fucking catch up on Widows Bay? I hear that's good. Should I, you know, should I watch some movies? I got home last night and I was like, fuck, what should I watch? Didn't need to think about it.

Monday night football was on. You know, there's something so beautiful about sports just being on. When basketball comes back every night, whatever the game, I'm throwing on League Pass and whatever best game is on, you know? Getting lightly stoned and just scrolling through League Pass. one of the best things a person can do. Literally, it's what saved me when I moved to New York and I had the most depressing years.

When you first move here as a comedian, it's so depressing because even if people think you're funny, it takes like years to get regular spots. Like, there just isn't enough stage time. There's the best comics in the world live here. And especially back then when the money on the road wasn't as crazy, the best comics weren't gone every weekend like they are now. And so when I moved here, it was like,

I'd go to some fucking horrible open mic. I would hang out in a club and hope to God David Tell didn't show up and I could get his spot or whatever. And if that didn't happen, I would just be like, well, today fucking sucked, but I can still get home and catch the late games. I can still watch the Sacramento Kings. You know what I mean? And getting high and eating a fucking pint of Ben and Jerry's and watching the second half of the late games on League Pass was for two years in my life was the most happiness I ever felt. It was awesome. there is no better political message than consider the power of a product in which the Sacramento Kings

help a person's mental well-being. Hey, young deer and fox was fun to watch, man. It's fucking fast as shit. I believed in that team. Stop, thank you for being so hospitable. Thank you for being an avatar of, I think, the future of a political movement. I don't know about all that. That may be, that may be, you know, in some ways,

going to have to delete some Instagram videos they posted before. But may reflect the evolution that this country needs. No, we're not deleting anything. This is how we got here. We're done deleting. We all used to say fucked up stuff, all right? What do you want from me? We all grow and change, but that's how we got here.

But yeah, yeah, thank you, buddy. Thanks for having me. Everybody, please watch Uncle Stop. Yes. on Netflix right now and And the true crime reign of terror Yeah, yeah, I guess now watch it, who gives a fuck And tires, we were number one for a while there

Watch tires and Tony, if you can catch it at some point You have so many things A lot of things, this is a crazy summer, but yeah And listen to Stavi's world Pablo will be sitting here at some point Yeah, Stavi gets ripped, we're coming back It's gonna be a little while, give me a second But we're good, new season coming up

Legitimately congratulations, it is so delightful to see that you have have become this. Thanks, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I appreciate it. Congrats to you, too. They didn't sweep it under the rug. I was going to say it.

They didn't gaslight you into thinking you're fucking insane. And it almost worked. It almost worked. It almost worked. ESPN being like, fuck Pablo. He's a fucking idiot. He can't even read these reports.

And everybody's like, yeah, fuck that piece of shit. And then two weeks later, you're vindicated. But it was close. You know what? They'll get you the next one. The ball was circling the cylinder. Yeah, it really was. That was the most.

bong, bong, bong shot of all time, but it went in. But thanks for having me, dude. Thank you for having me, having you. You got it. This has been Pablo Torre finds out. A Metal Arc Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.