Pablo Torre Finds Out - This Is Share & Tell… Now: Katie Nolan, Charlotte Wilder, Pablo, and Our Respective Enemies

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Why did Jennifer Lopez self-fund an allegorical $20 million “movie” about her life? (And why did all three of us watch it?) How good are we at the Dutch art of doing nothing? (And should we reimagine the concept of “something”?) And, finally, who’s on our personal Enemies Lists? (And why is it FS1’s Nick Wright?)Further reading:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osu2N9gysYkhttps://variety.com/2024/film/features/jennifer-lopez-this-is-me-now-musical-film-ben-affleck-love-story-1235908364/https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/feb/07/the-art-of-doing-nothing-have-the-dutch-found-the-answer-to-burnout-culturehttps://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/17/well/bed-rotting-hurkle-durkle.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Nick Wright, fuck you. Right after this ad. You're listening to Draft King's Network. I wanted to try to be a girl, so I put on these glute, like literal press on nails. Yeah, I was going to say, Katie Nullin has black, long nails right now. And I have been afraid to say anything.

They feel they're wild. And I tried them and immediately looked down and was like, so no, this is not a lot. look for me, because I'm never going to be the girl that goes and gets her nails done at a salon for however long that takes. It's just not me. So I tried the press-ons just to check in on the tech, because I haven't used a press-on since prom when I pressed on my little French manicure that I didn't want to go get done by somebody else. Anyway, the tech has gotten better, still looks wrong on me. Problem is... You do kind of look like an X-Men villain. It's a Halloween costume. It looks like I just took a Halloween costume off. The problem is, I scratched

Myrtle with them, and she loves it. Now, I'm constantly... I'm constantly looking for any edge over Dan because Dan is the baby face when it comes to Myrtle and I'm the heel because I am the the one who is like the disciplinarian, the one who says like, no, you can't have that. And Dan's like, take all these treats. Nice one. This has given me the edge. And so if you've ever wondered how much I love my dog, it's enough that I'm willing to make public appearances with ridiculous looking fingernails, which you can't help but talk with once you have them. There's a lot of things that you wouldn't normally do. I'm willing to do this and take the hit

that everyone's going to have something to say because I know when I get home that dog is going to pick me because I give her a little scratch Are you going to keep doing it? Yeah also these are unhygienic as hell because all they are for is scratching my dog I don't think I've been putting them in my mouth

Don't they have little pet scratcher? Probably she hates those but these it's like my fingers but better so look for me with new nails all the time that's actually the nail tagline just to please my dog yeah it's like your fingers but better but better. Look, there's glue all over it. I couldn't do it. These are horrifying.

Yeah. They're pretty sick, though. If I blur my eyes enough, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm a grown woman. But then if I blur my eyes too much, I'm like, oh, I have olives on the ends of my fingers and I'm going to eat them all at the dinner table. Yeah, the black olives from the can. Yeah. That's what it looks like to me. Whenever I do that, whenever I put the olives on my hands. Which is a lot, right? Every time I have them and you go like this, I feel like an alien. And that's it. An alien somewhere is like, that is now my enemy, because she thinks we're just people with olives on our fingers. This may be a terrible way to begin today's share-and-tell. I cannot actually know for sure until we try it.

But Katie Nolan, what did you bring us today? I brought a cinematic masterpiece that many may not know exists. You can find it on Amazon Prime. It's J.Lo's new film, and that's in air quotes, This Is Me. Dot, dot, dot, now. Let's take a look at the trailer. You know what they say about me, about hopeless romantic. that we're weak.

And I'm not weak. I learned the hard way. Not all love stories have a happy ending. Turns up. Let's pick this back up next week. It's never enough for you. He's a liar. I've never lied to you.

And the constant criticism, she thinks I'm her employee. Being with you feels like home. But I left home for a reason. Whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, My answer was always in love. All right, so it's a lot. It's a total runtime, something like 55 minutes.

A lot of that's credits. But it's a long music video for the sake of anybody who hasn't seen it before we all praise it. The fact that you're about to try to summarize this is itself a daunting task. So it's a movie, right, but it's a music video. And it's selling itself as a musical odyssey. Written by J-Lo funded by J-Lo

produced by J-Lo acted by J-Lo written by I don't actually don't know Jay-L? She had one other person right but she wrote that, yeah One other person

I don't know One other person A person I'm sure felt empowered to say no to J-Lo on the movie about J-Lo Definitely I don't think I heard

a single line of dialogue in this film school project I don't think I heard a single line of dialogue in this play, in this soft-core solo porn. In this soft-core solo porn that feels like it was generated by that new AI that just came out where you put a prompt and it makes a video for you.

Yes. That also is being staged inside of like a very expensive Las Vegas hotel lobby. I don't think I heard a single line in that that I'd never heard anywhere before. I know. You feel like nobody gets you. I don't even get me. But anyway, so the movie starts with her, riding on the back of a motorcycle with a man and then she falls off and she gets hurt.

Boom, we're in our first scene. It's a factory. Her heart, which is this big steampunk thing in the middle of the factory, is about to break. And it's very metaphorical. There's a factory line. All women and the big tube say tear ducts on them. They do. They do.

These are all important details. I love it. We find out that it runs on flower pedals, but the flowers are all dead. And J-Lo is dancing this whole time. while a song of hers plays. At one point she wraps in it. There is, though, a cast of friends who are like this, it's like if Inside Out, instead of Pixar making that, it was J-Lo,

and it's just individual representations of what feels like feelings. But they're supposedly her friends. They don't say a single nice word about her throughout the entire film. But so you meet Fat Joe, who is just Joe in this. So please don't call him Fat Joe. That's his other life. Dr. Joe is her therapist. He's, if we're taking him at face value as a therapist, he should consider a different line of work.

It's very bad therapy. But it's basically... He also takes calls from his wife during their sessions. Wild. Wild. Out of nowhere. No reason. He doesn't seem to know anything about therapy. Except that therapists wear sweaters. I do think he got that memo. He did some good mohair.

Many times over. He just wore sweaters and was like, this is me now. So anyway, uh, J-Lo goes to the therapist, and then we go see another relationship of hers. And this time, she's in an all-glass house. this guy drinks comically out of a bottle and is what appears to be abusive. And then you see that other relationships are happening in this glass house. And they're all tied together. And this is also a dance. Sort of a cool dance with a rope.

Right. And Charlotte, as this film's biggest fan, enjoyed this scene. That me, is. That's me. I love you. You know why I think I'm, why I'm inclined to defend J-Lo? Because I loved her halftime shows so much. And I loved the doc about it that I'm.

so excited we get another J-Lo doc because she's just intense and she's going through it all the time and you're just right there with her. You're like, oh my God, J-Lo, I don't know why you're making this movie either because I watched a trailer for the doc. And now I need it. I need it. I need the doc. For those who don't know, a doc about the movie is coming out at the end of the month. That I would watch. I'd watch a documentary. Just to be very clear about this, there is a documentary of making of documentary about a film that is about the making of Jennifer Lopez's life. And so I just want

a documentary about the making of documentary. I want this to be a Russian nesting doll. A mirror. A hall of mirrors of J-Lo. Which I think was a scene in this movie. Yes, and also is definitely a room in her house. So we should point out that this is also, all of this

is J-Lo attempting to basically present a series of allegories for her real-life romantic relationships. Right. Which she deems as her life's issue and the way she's perceived is that she's a hopeless romantic, she's always getting married, she's got a new boyfriend,

relationship to relationship, she just loves love too much. At one point we invoke what's called the Zodiacal Council, I'm going to say that though it's not a word, I don't think it's space. I believe it's the heavens. It's the heavens. I mean, you go, Neil deGrasse Tyson is there. So it's

he might be in space, but everybody else is in heaven. But it's a council of people that represent the zodiac signs. Not all of them. Aquarius wasn't around, but it's like Kiki Palmer. Jane Fonda, a whole bunch of Trevor Noah, inexplicably. A bunch of people that you say, why? And then a bunch of people that you go, of course. A lot of them make sense. A lot of them don't. Can we list, though, the potential suspects in this allegory? Because again, I watched this with my mom and she was yelling at the screen being like, is that Mark Anthony? And so who are the people who are like candidates for people who

don't know J-Lo's whole, like... She's dated Ben Affleck, Mark Anthony. She's dated a bunch of people. She was married, though. The names might surprise you, because she was married to someone O'Jonnie Noah from 1997 to 1998, then to Chris Judd from 2001 to 2003,

then Mark Anthony from 2004 to 2014. I knew that was a long one. And then Ben Affleck in 2022. In between there, though, she dated A-Rod. She had the Ben Affleck first release. in 2003. Yeah. You know, there was a lot going on.

And we see those, she takes us to those weddings. She takes us through those relationships. A lot of weddings. The intervention, her friends have an intervention where they say she's a sex ad and dating younger men. How do you think J-Lo's exes were anticipating this film? I don't think they worried about it at all. I don't know that anybody was like, oh, no. She needs to give more dirt.

She really veiled all of her relationships. She bailed them out. Like, who's Derekoff in this situation? Right. Dancing with the stars guy shows up as one of her exes. Right. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think that it's...

Yeah, I do not think that it is a one-to-one like this guy represents this. So some good things about J-Lo in this. She is... Gounds, beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns. Beautiful dances? I think she's... Look, no.

She looks great. I think she's an amazing performer. And she... For what she was working with, what she was acting with, that she wrote and produced herself. funded? She sort of did a good job. No, she didn't. I think she did a pretty good job.

I love that Charlotte is. Charlotte as J-Lo defense attorney on this episode. I want to keep on pressure testing her defense. Of the movement vocabulary. What would you say were your favorite types of moves? Oh, I liked in the beginning where they're in the steampunk AI heart factory. And I couldn't tell if they had sped up the footage or if that was how fast. The dance was supposed to be.

That was my, I really like that. That heart was powered by pedals. Yes, of course. Which China and J-Lo turned into at one point in a Mr. Stark I don't feel so good type moment. That was a pivotal scene for me. I'll also say J-Lo, I take offense. J-Lo, Infinity War.

I see what I think you were going for when you only have women working in your Seampunk Heart Factory, but I will say everything's going wrong. Do we skip over the part where she's in the Bronx? Yeah. Oh, she goes back to the, I think that comes after the wedding. But maybe nine before? I think she goes to the Bronx and meets her younger self. Did you know she's from the Bronx?

Did you guys know that? And that her old friends say she was never going to make it out of there? She's from something. Flowers don't grow in the Bronx. But sometimes they do. But a tree grows in Brooklyn. Sorry. That's pretty funny, actually.

But yeah, at one point somebody says, you know flowers don't grow in the Bronx. And she goes, sometimes they do. Great. And then her younger self-dissolves. She sees her younger self. Her younger self. The only kind of deep point, I believe, made in the whole film is her younger self being like, you've always loved everybody else.

You never loved me. And she's like, oh, my God, I love you. Meaning, like, she was looking for herself and other people, and she never looked inward and loved herself. And she finally says, I'm sorry. The part where she learns to love herself and that beam goes up to the, and everyone in the Zodiacal counsel says, she did it. Nobody says what it is, and what is it?

I think it is loving herself first. And so to be clear, We're saying that the woman who made an entire movie about herself doesn't love herself enough. No, she does now. This is her now. That was her journey. I will say, again, in Taylor's defense, I think there was a narrative arc. And I think it was going from true love with Ben to going through it and not loving herself and picking the wrong guy to loving herself and finding Ben again.

Why would anyone make this? They've got nothing else to, they, I think she made it because she's, because she's, wants us to know who she is on the inside. Do I think she told us? No. I think she want, I think it's a situation where you're like, in everybody's head, I think, you have this narrative about yourself where you're like, I've been through so much. Anybody, especially anybody who's like worked really hard to get somewhere. Like there's a narrative about yourself, there's the bullshit you've had to deal with. They're the people who have wronged you. And for the healthiest way I think to deal with that is to go to therapy, get it out, and try to move on or continue on.

Or if you're J-Lo You can depict Tell everybody Everything because everybody needs to know everything That you've been through. It'd be funny if it was like... Make a movie about you doing the thing you should just be doing in real life

Which is going to therapy. In real life we're like so I got good news and bad news. Jennifer is very excited about just therapy now but instead of going to therapy she has decided to depict what she imagines it is

if Fat Joe were her therapist. And also, it costs $20 million. This is like someone who has to get it all out. And this is like someone who does the thing that you shouldn't do. But at the same time, like, I mean, I keep defending. Like, it wasn't good, but was sort of locked in. I was like, where are we going to go next? But it also, it made me a little sad that she was so earnest about it.

And I was like, we're just going to sit here and be like, look how. earnest this was, because I was like, ah, does she think, like, or does she just care that it makes a lot of money? Does she not care? It's gonna make a lot of things. It's number two. Yeah, it's like one of the most popular things on Amazon Prime. Her album sales are already, like, I think, strong, pre-sale-wise, apparently.

There's something I'm noticing in the discourse the last month or so, where the, usually you would hear somebody say something in what I'm, way, on whatever feed you're looking at. You'd see your first interaction with a piece of art or something. And it would be someone expressing opinion of like, wow, this is really good. And then you'd maybe a couple days later, you'd see other people being like, you know, I really like this. It really echoes of the same. Nobody agrees on anything now. I'm seeing articles come out about like true detective, best season of true detective. And then people being like, what? What do you mean? It's absolutely awful. I've seen people be like the finale is so good and other people be like that was the worst finale i've ever seen in my life

people are so it used to at least there was like a universal agreement of like this is worth your time this is not worth your time and i saw people raving about this and like a non not in a non not the way i liked it right and on sort of like think piece adjacent not like through the looking glass they're still back at the right in the way that like i watched i got high and watched the room with tommy we sew a lot Right. Like, I think that's so bad that you just find it again compelling. Which is, again, why I watched this in the first, the J-Lo one in the first place. These are people that are, I mean, granted, a lot of them are J-Lo fans who were like,

J-Lo does it again. And you're like, does what again? I don't, what are you talking about? She put the paddles back into her steampunk giant heart, which is still not asleep. Dan said the word Oscar to me. He said he saw somebody say the word Oscar. And I refused to believe that. I didn't fact check, and we all know.

Dan just says things. Soda fact. He's vase voss, two different words. J-Lo, thank you for making this. As much as we make fun of it, thank you for making it. It's a bonding experience. A tremendous go-to compliment when you don't like something is always thank you for making this. Thank you for making this.

Look, I'm a lady that's not making anything right now. And main reason is the fear of it coming out like this. But somebody's got to make this, right? And it's been made. And I, the documentary, I will be seated. I'm seated. I can't wait. I need to know.

I need to know if the documentary features anybody going, I told her not to do this. They did. It does. It's in the trailer. Perfect. It's her saying, why am I doing this? Oh, no, I need somebody else. I need an outsider.

Oh, yeah. I need a fan. I need Jane Fonda to go, what the hell is this? We need the Isaiah Thomas of this film to pop up in the documentary version. Kiki, I love you. You deserve better. I don't know why you. It's okay to say no.

No is a complete sentence, Kiki Pommer. I hope people go and watch that film now, the 55-minute J-Lo thing. The alternative, though, which is increasingly appealing, Charlotte, is the topic that you wanted to bring us. I want to talk today about doing nothing. Oh, God. Because I have a very complicated relationship with doing nothing. And there's this article in The Guardian about this woman, Olga Mecking, who has written this book, Nick Sen, which is spelled N-I-K-S-E-N,

embracing the Dutch art of doing nothing. Now, this is a woman who wrote an article for the New York Times in 2019 about Nixon, which isn't even really... It's tough to say. I wish it wasn't pronounced Nixon. Yeah, but keep going. It's very water-gaty, I know.

And she wrote this article that then blew up because everybody feels guilty about doing nothing. It turns out. But she's saying that a cure for burnout and for all of the things we grapple with, is really to just do nothing. And she's trying to give people permission to do nothing. But in telling them how to do nothing,

she's doing something. She found that a lot of people felt really guilty about that. So she was sort of like just do nothing in whatever way that means to you. Right. And Nixon means in the Dutch, apparently, the translation, is, yeah, to do nothing. Yes. Very Paul Rudd in forgetting Sarah Marshall when he's like, do less. The less you do, the more you do. Let's see you pop up.

Nope, too slow. Do less. Pop up. Pop up. You're doing too much. Do less. Pop down. Pop up now.

Stop. Get down there. Remember, don't do anything. Got to do a little more than that. But true, okay, but to the challenge of that, right? Like, how do you actively do nothing is the paradox that I think Charlotte is circling? Well, so, yeah, I am both very good at doing nothing and very bad at doing nothing. And I wanted to know how you guys feel about doing nothing.

I think I'm an only child, so I think I had to entertain myself a lot as a kid, and sometimes I was just sitting there and, like, thinking about stuff, which sounds crazy, it's also why. And I've said this before on PTFO. I don't smoke weed because it just feels like I'm high all the time in my own head when I just sit there and entertain myself. But I also can feel very guilty when I do nothing. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty when I'm trying to do nothing to not get burned out,

blah, blah. My experience with doing nothing, I was sick a few weeks ago. I wrote a substack about the things I have been doing to try to do nothing because I felt so bad about doing nothing. Like this is inception level stuff. It's an inception level something. Something's going on. And I wanted to know, can you guys ever do nothing?

Like sometimes I'll just sit on a plane and not listen. I feel like Katie and I are going to be very different on this topic. First of all, can we define what doing nothing is? She said not watching stuff, not reading stuff, not listening to music. Desiring of an outcome seems to be like a through line in terms of what qualifies as nothing. And what differentiates it from meditating? That is also my question. Because meditating is supposedly thinking nothing.

Existing solely in the moment, every thought you have in your brain, you're supposed to think of it like a car driving by. To be fully present, not concerned with outcome. So in that sense, I don't meditate. So I don't, I guess, do nothing. What was the other word that? You said it was nothing, doing nothing and then bed rotting? Oh, yeah, yeah. Are these different concepts?

So two separate articles, but circling... Yes, the same drain. Yeah, I'll related something, which is that... And a lot of these articles now, it's funny. Like, these both came out in New York Times, bed rotting, Guardian, what Charlotte was just citing, Art of Doing Nothing, the Dutch thing. And it's of that genre of article now where it's like, this is a thing now. And then it's like the oldest possible...

concept of like people stay in bed a lot. Yeah. And so bed riding, bed rotting is what the New York Times is writing about. Bed riding. Very different. Also, I get rotting. I feel like this is happening because Gen Z on TikTok keeps discovering things that the older generations have known and giving them new names and then the Times finds out and writes an article about it.

So, and with the Times. With the Times' sighting here is also that there's an old Scottish phrase for spending idle time awake in bed, which is, uh, Hercl Durkling. Okay, and I love that. And I love that. Cozy morning loafing, Katie Nolan, is Hercl Durkling. I'd like to preface anything I say here with.

I have depression. So my experience with this topic is not one I think is one you should model your life after. It's not a trend piece that we should turn into viral content. No, I'm saying I don't feel that whatever I'm about to say is something you should look at and relate to and go, sick. I think I have an unhealthy relationship with bed rotting in the sense that like there were, you know, premedication, there was quite a lot of rotting in my bed and it was not in a healthy way. It was not in a productive way. It was not as an answer to burnout because I wasn't doing anything. That's why this concept of doing nothing is fascinating to me because as somebody who has defined

their whole life by their career, I am currently career-wise, no offense, doing nothing. And so I am sort of through the, not to say through the looking glass again, but like I have been doing nothing for so long now that now I'm on the other side being like, how does anybody do anything? How do I do something? Because I don't have any, I've been doing nothing. I think the vocabulary question of like, are we all searching for nothing as an antidote to being overwhelmed with something does pretty. presume that all of us have too much something going on. And I think in reality, we probably aren't all agreeing on what the definition of nothing and something is, and that the word something probably should be as dwelled upon as nothing is. Well, the way that I think actually what all of this is about is letting yourself off the hook.

I think this whole conversation. Which everybody needs to do. Yeah. And it's like you shouldn't feel guilty for doing something or not doing something. thing or whatever. It's like it's finding that inner peace or zen or ability to be like, whatever I'm doing now is okay. And I'm glad you brought up the depression part of it because I also struggle with depression and anxiety. And when I'm anxious, I have to be productive. And when I'm depressed, I can't do anything. And so these things sort of exist in it. And I think that's part of

where sort of the guilt comes in of like, why can't I control my own brain? But then if I'm in a good place and I'm doing nothing, it feels really nice. So I think that there are very different ways to do nothing, and that's something that maybe this article doesn't fully get at. What it is making me examine more closely is my need to be watching or consuming something and calling that doing nothing, where I think I think of doing something as an output, and I think of any time I'm taking an input doesn't count as doing something, because I'm not, I'm sitting there, rewatching a season of a show I like, writing down anytime something happens that sparks something in me.

But that's not doing nothing. It's doing something. But I see that as, oh, I do nothing all the time. I'm always sitting on the couch watching TV. This is why when you say, when you're sort of like tongue-in-cheekly saying like, no offense, but this show doesn't count as something, public probably finds out, available on all platforms. The way I see this topic is through the lens of this show, which has allowed me to reframe all of this nothing, allegedly as something.

I watched this Jennifer Lopez movie and we just got a segment out of it. Yeah, for work. For work, right? So for me, I feel like the unfortunate, if I have a privilege in this beyond, like, thankfully, not struggling with depression and anxiety in the ways that you guys are,

which I knock on wood, right? I feel like I am compulsively always, neurotically, always trying to stay busy for reasons that are probably not totally healthy. Right? Like it just makes me feel like I'm again, I'm doing something if I'm just like my calendar's full of stuff. I'm wired that way Which is a cliche that this article is speaking to but it also My privilege in this show is I have a job where I am actually Turning stupid blow-off things that people are doing as their guilty pleasure into work

And so yeah, I guess I'm a professional Hercl Durkler I guess that's like like a, I would recommend that kids out there do that. But I also think that being kinder to yourself is fundamentally what all of these headlines are really saying. Stop being mad at yourself. I know somebody who just got laid off from a job they'd been at for a long time

and she's already like making moves into her next job. And I, and I tried to say to her, I'm like, just make sure you take like a couple days. You're a mom. you've got things going on and you're like take a couple days to just be like well that sucked

I want to watch a TV show just relax for a sec obviously depending on the way the world is and how much money you have saved up and whatever your financial situation is the advice is always different but it just was this

it feels like it's the same idea which is that like slow down sometimes and feel okay about the slowdown instead of letting everybody going fast make you feel like you're going too slow. Pablo, do you ever get burned out? We're living that experiment

doing the show. Insofar as I am constantly finding out that I like working on the show at night when I'm supposed to be not working. And so this definitional question of like, what is something, what is nothing, I contemplated a lot. Because I'm like,

I love doing this, but also I feel like, again, I should probably not be doing it this often for sustainability, for the fact that the pie chart of my attention and my life is probably too much work and not enough family, loved ones. I'm probably over-indexing on the Hercl-Durkeling of C-word. The Hercle-Durkeld-Durkling of workling? It's good Yeah, so Not yet

But stay tuned I do feel like a lot of this It does have to do with comparing yourself to other people It doesn't everything It's like, yeah It's looking at Instagram And being like, oh, I just sat on my couch While this person wrote a bestseller

And it makes you feel really sh**y But you know what? Nobody wants somebody around all the time You got to disappear every once in a while It'll be much more exciting when you show up And you know who needs to take that advice Taylor Swift I know

Go away for a second She's got it Go away for one second And then come back She's powerful enough now That she doesn't have to I know And it's just

I thought you were gonna say J-Lo And I was very surprised No J-Lo's been J-Lo was underground making this She was Nose to the Grindstone

I also feel like Evolutionarily If you took an old human And showed him Just like what Me all day He'd say she does nothing I don't pick things up

I don't move things around I don't work a field. I don't do any. You don't hunt or gather. And you're over here being like, I work, I work, I work. You're just sitting there hunched over a computer doing nothing. You're both so ultimately. You're both thinking of things.

Come on. Be kind of yourself. I think the reason we feel guilty is because ultimately we're doing, we never do anything. There's never anything we do. I farm regularly, Katie. I ho those rows all day long. Ho those rows. I love that.

Are you rapping like J-Lo? The fact that Charlotte has been. defending our lives, Katie, like, where the J-Lo movie means we should probably go to the next topic. Okay. Yeah. And that's your topic. Speaking of other people. Oh, God.

I want to talk about whether we have enemies. We know you do. Because I have been developing a list. I can't wait to hear it. I'm not somebody who naturally had. That is a big zig where I thought you would zag. You having a list of enemies feels so pure in some way. I, you know, my niece, who is nine years old, said something.

something, we were at dinner, and she was like, I've never heard you yell at anybody. I've never heard you yell at anybody either. It would make me wildly uncomfortable to hear you yell. And I did not know that this was a thing about me that was so obvious to others. It was not obvious to me, but of course it's true. I don't remember the last time I really yelled at anyone. And so trying to generate hatred in list form was inspired by you. this. I have a rivals list. Everyone in the media that is within two years of me or younger than me, I must vanquish and I must be more successful than I have to do it. They are all my rivals. And the reason I mention it is right now, rising to the top of the rivals list is Pablo Tori,

and he will be vanquished. The top Pablo's younger than me. Pablo made fun of me a bit on the show the other day, which only solidified that he is my rival. And it doesn't matter that we're friendly. it doesn't matter that he's always been kind to me. It doesn't matter that I was at a Christmas party with him. I will vanquish Pablo Torre. And then Nick Wright, host on FS1, opened his show with Kevin Wilds. On-air talent now, which we all know him as a producer, but on-air talent.

Correct. Live from New York. Spilt some coffee. Of yours or mine? Mine. Sorry about that. The show that's going to vanquish Pablo Torre. Oh, come on.

Don't put that on the air. serious about it. Okay, all right. If you want to do it. We're going to do it together. All right. That's your own. That's y'all.

So I'm left here wondering, like, what to do with all of this. And so I have a list of enemies. I put into my notepad app. And so number one is Vivek Ramoswamy, who, if you listen to PTF. I mean, hell of yours. I mean, obviously. Awesome, awesome enemy. Good enemy to have.

Yeah, guy fucking sucks and is deserving of, of yelling at. Number two is currently Nick Wright. He, he asked for it. Yeah, you go. Otherwise, you look soft. So advise me. He called you a rival, not an enemy. I think that's a compliment.

You think of me. That's very sweet. You could always do the like, oh, I don't think of the badman. Yeah. Like, I don't think of you at all. Or put him on your rivals list. Whatever motivates you, because all that is is fuel for you. I think it does depend on what motivates you.

What motivates me with my enemies. I have enemies. I'm not going to name them because, to me, the most powerful. thing I can do is not name them, not let them know I ever think about them and then succeed. So it's me trying to succeed as a form of, well, try me now. Or getting to a place where I have enough power in this industry in myself to not be pushed around by people in the past who were able to push me around. So that's sort of my MO. So I don't even know if I would have acknowledged the Nick Wright. Except that you have to because it's content. You have to.

So you need to walk this line where it could be a joke to you. What's your relationship with Nick Wright? You're friendly, I imagine. So we went to this Christmas party. Kevin Wilds is family Christmas party. My invite lost in the mail, I guess. Don't know Kevin Wilds, but my last name is Wilder, so it feels like I should have been grandfathered. Maybe that's he sees you as a rival because if he's wild, you're Wilder.

Maybe. Just one keystroke away. Yeah. He's just a typo of you. Oh, wait, Wilds. Sorry, math. I like Nick. I liked Nick.

Oh shit. No, you can still like him. So once upon a time I was like, I would have reacted more like, I'm kind of insulted that I'm Nick Wright's rival. And now I'm like, Nick's killing it. Yeah, great. Like he's doing, but now I'm complimenting him.

And I'm like, oh, I'm not supposed to do that. Yes, you are. I think he was sort of doing that. That was absolutely a compliment. He's saying your name. He didn't, it wasn't like a Stephen A. Smith video, like the with a very carefully place. Which let me

just say, Dan and I like made food and like sat down and like, you know, did the drugs that we do. Just, and watch that. And what a high point of my recent. Literally. But anyway. No one has line read the word bastard better than Stephen A.

But so that's not what he was doing. He said my rivals or anybody within two years of me. How old is he? So I'm 38. turning 39 in September. He is older than me. I think he's 40.

I think it'll be my guess. 39. Sorry. I'm so sorry. But you still have time to invite me your 40th birthday party. October 3rd, 1984. He's a year older than me.

And I'm a Libra. He's a Libra. Yeah. Ooh. That's why arrivals. It all comes back to astrology. I feel like for content reasons, and I should not even say this

for content reasons, I'm going to play this up. Yeah. great. That's fine. I think it'd be fun. Your face, for the audio listeners, I wish they could have seen the shrug and sort of resigned smile Pablo just gave, because that was beautiful. I'm an enemy's guy now. Is it K-fabe? Just give them, give the people what they want. He did say he wanted to vanquish me. Yeah. What does that mean? Take up arms. Take away your show? He wants to

How do you vanquish someone with content? Yeah, he wants to fucking cut my head off with a samurai content. I have an enemy currently, actually. Yeah, Charlotte mentioned an enemy that she refused to say, and I would like her to say it and we'll bleep the name out, but I would like to react to who this enemy is. Oh, well, it's the gate agent who wouldn't let me bring my fanny pack on as a third personal item, which is absolute garbage because it's attached to me. How does that take up spaces? It's only taking up my own space. Put it under your shirt. What was it doing on the outside of your shirt? Put it under your shirt. She spotted me before. This was a few months ago.

Now, I have enough coats that it just smart. I could just, you know, it's just like a tire around my weight. But, you know, she, at the time, it was warmer, and I didn't have my coat on yet, and she had spotted me before I had it to... But it couldn't fit in my bank. Guys, it was stressful. So that's an enemy... That's a good enemy to have. I also...

Actually, you know what? At one point, I did have a public enemy, which was Ed Werder, because I tweeted, there was a job opening at Sports Illustrated. I think I remember this. Which is something I would love to be able to say now. Thank you, speaking of enemies.

Sure. Thank you to ABG. Yep. Authentic Brands. Group. I can't believe that's their name. It's so funny. Every time.

It is the funniest possible name. But they're just a corporate inauthentic brand group. Shoes stomping out, authentic. So anyway, so, and there's a job opening, and I tweeted it, and I think I said something like, if you're a woman or a person of color, especially reach out to me about this job opening.

And Edward R. Quote tweets it. And he was like, oh, what? Like, men aren't, like, white guys can't be good too. And then we got into a whole back and forth. I don't think I would now. I think it'd just be like, I'd knock yourself out, buddy. but I was like,

indignant at the time, I needed to cape for journalism and for those who don't have a chance and also in the process, like get a bunch more Twitter followers and look, and by the end of it, C word. He was getting so dunked on that I just felt.

Capitalism was what I meant. What does it mean at this point? Oh, is it? I thought we were saying content. Oh, no. I meant capitalism. Unfettered content. It doesn't matter.

They're going to beep all of these. It's going to sound like we're just saying the actual C words. Anyway, by the end of it, and everyone was like, Charlotte, you're amazing. Edwarder, you suck. I felt so gross by the end of it. I was like, I hate this. Even being like the main character in a good way on the internet is gross.

So you vanquished Edwarder and didn't love how it felt. Yeah, I didn't. And I have no ill will towards Edwarder, but it did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, which was the headline, Edward, on TMZ. This was on TMZ headline, Edwinter accuses sI writer of sexism dot, dot, dot, dot, against men. I mean, that is the... This is you, dot, dot, dot now.

A picture of me and Edward are next to each other. Beautiful. I remember that battle. It was a good beef. Yeah, so shout out to Ed. He's not an enemy. I have roles I could identify.

I'm not going to tell you who the people are, but like I've got one enemy. Enemy light, not rival, just a person I don't think well of. And if given the chance to bring negative or positive outcomes into their life, I will choose negative. That's this list of people. It's like, if given the chance, I'm not picking,

I'm not taking the road less trash. I'm going to give them the short end of the stick. One of them is a guy who runs a charity that I donated a lot of money to when I did not have any money. That then when I got on baseball, he was like, he tweeted a picture of us in the booth and said, who even are any of these people? That guy.

Oh. Then there was. Then there's a man who I feel is mostly responsible for the outcome of one of my shows, no longer being a show. He knows who he is, and it's, we're not. Then there's actually another one of those at the second stop, and he just got a promotion, so good for him. But again, if his path crosses mine, it'll be a D motion.

And then there's an X. Everybody's got one X that it's like, I, I, no idea where this person is at this point, or like what their life is about. I don't keep any tabs on them. I hope it's going poorly. That guy sounds like a C-word. Yeah. An unfettered C-word.

Unfettered C-word. Can you guys help me workshop how to vanquish Nick Wright, though, like a burn, like a good roast? Yeah, say something like... Nick Wright, more than like Nick wrong. Yeah, that's bad, so don't do that. But you could talk about how his wife dresses him.

He can't dress himself. Oh. A compliment and an insult. Mm-hmm. What about something like... That was... Katie was, like, ready with that. I love his wife.

I'm like a big family of Nick Gray's well. Don't let her be... Don't vanquish her. No, she had the Christmas party. She was great. Yeah. You know, I know how you should... I know how you can vanquish Nick Wright.

Have him on your show. Actually, that's... That feels like... He feels like Nick Wright is, and I love Nick Wright. I will say I put Nick Wright on my show before multiple people were putting them on their show. So I don't think Nick Wright and I are rivals. But I will...

For the record, I also... I'm only prefacing that because of what I'm about. You're supposed to be my... I'm only prefacing it because of the mean thing I'm about to say, which is that Nick Wright does give the energy of come on my show and debate me then. He's the guy that's like, well, he's strong at doing that. Yes. He can back you into a mental corner.

...unto your show. Yeah. I still worry about you. I wouldn't want you to take an L, an unnecessary L. I just think invite him on for like a night time. Katie Nolan might be number three on my enemies list. Marcus Jordan and Lars of Bippen were going to be number three. Katie Nolan, doubting.

doubting whether I could defeat Nick Wright that p-ass bitch in a debate. A P-A-B! Unfetered! Oh my God! A Fettered! A P-A-B! Now you have to do it.

You don't go into every fight thinking you can lose it? Is that just me? Every time there's a possible fight, I'm like, how am I going to fall flat on my face here? Yeah, dude. I appreciate how much you worry about me. Yeah. I'm like, go for it, man.

Yeah, dude. Content. It's going to come out off. Seriously, everybody would watch that, though. I like that Katie Nolan is the gate agent at the... You can't bring that on. At my ego. You cannot.

You cannot. And I'm like, do it. You've got enough, sir. You've got enough. Too much dip on your fanny pack, sir. What did we find out today? That Charlotte's a big J-Lo fan. That J-Lo is Charlotte's everything.

And she believes in the artistic vision. And I actually love that for her. I do. I also would pause. that the thing you loved about J-Lo's halftime show was Shakira. Yeah. Katie punctuating her points with the flourish of nails

on the table. Yeah, I also like, I'll be honest, I like, let's get loud. That is a good song to tell. What did you learn, Papa? What I found out today is that I hate Nick Wright now. Okay. It feels like a lot. Which camera can I speak into?

They're all yours. Oh, yeah, all of them. Nick Wright, you. You dress so much better than you deserve to because you don't know how to dress. And in fact, your wife dresses you and she's so good at it. She has a store that people should go to in Harlem. It's great. And you are defrauding America because you should look like a fucking idiot.

Wow. And you look like less of one now. He just cut a promo, folks. Yeah. Also, Kevin Wilds. you're a C word Capitalism Content

Capitalism Honestly I love this for you I get a rush even knowing that we're going to be in the clip Where you say this to Nick Wright This feels like when a poor comic is sitting across From Joe Rogan and Joe Rogan's going on some like vaccine rant And the comic is just like Uh huh

That's what it feels like Is we're like just here to watch what is happening Guys I can't stop smiling I look at you It looked like it felt really good I'm really happy for you. I think hate is going to work for me as a contest strategy.

This year, for 2024, choosing hate, you know? Yeah. Forget love. What did J-Lo teach you? It's not really worth anything. Love yourself, hate everybody else. It don't cost a thing. This is me. What is this show?

I don't know. What is this show? And who's watching it? It felt good. But this is why this, I feel. What the fuck is this? And do people like it? Yeah.

Good. I like doing it. Somehow, somehow they do. I love doing this. I love doing it. I feel like Charlotte somehow has mentally evacuated the premises.

She ran. It's a nicest way anyone's ever been like, what the fuck's wrong with you. You know what? I bet it was an internal 6 o'clock timer. Because my dog has that,

no offense. My dog, when it's time for dinner. We talk about it all the time. When it's time for dinner, Myrtle's like, it is time. And she always gets the time rate. I feel like you're, brain's like, it's six. Goodbye. I'm goodbye. When she started doing this, I was like, I don't know what,

this is why I don't smoke weed though, guys. You just saw it. And I'm so, I want to smoke what's inside of your brain. I guess what I'm saying. I would like to get high on your supply. It is crazy in here. I can't express that enough. You know in your, you know in your high school yearbook, people are like, L.A.L.A.S. Love me like a sister never change. I'm like, I have tried. I've tried to change. I can't. This is what we're... This is, I'm even medicated.

This is you now is what you're saying. I mean, guys, I think what we're learning is actually J-Lo's brilliant. And that everything keeps coming back to like, this is me now. That's... I'm gonna keep... I can't stop thinking about when I could say that. Yeah. You've said it too many times.

So many times today. Although I will say calling it softcore solo porn is to me. It is exactly what it is. It's a lady masturbating, but you don't see any. any of the good stuff. Jesus. So that was just practice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And three, two, one. This has been Pablo Torre finds out. A Metal Arc Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.