Pablo Torre Finds Out - Why Listening to Action Bronson Makes Us Happy (PTFO Vault)

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

He raps, cooks, paints, hosts and acts (for Martin Scorsese, at least). He also has philosophical explanations for why A) he never wears pants, B) his go-to move is the headbutt and C) nothing is better than a VHS tape. But Action Bronson had still never heard of the Accidental Bronson tribute account. Until this episode.(This episode originally aired November 10, 2023.)• Subscribe to Pablo Torre Finds Out on YouTube for more greatest hits• Subscribe to Pablo's newsletter for exclusive access, documents and invites Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's me, Pablo. So we've done, doing the math, 327 episodes of Pablo Torre finds out since we launched in September, 2023. And it is the end of 2025. And I could not be prouder of our tiny, little and extremely overworked newsroom that has created this bizarre sports news magazine show. That is television, but also obviously an audio. first podcast because we've punched above our weight, I think, especially this year. But the stuff that we did before, the previous, you know, hundreds of episodes, we have some favorites that we are now concerned that you maybe have not heard yet, or maybe don't realize,

or even better when you listen to it a second time. And so during the holiday break, we're bringing you our favorites from the PTFO Vault. And we also have a newsletter, by the way, www.pablo.com, where I'll be doing some stuff over the holiday break especially, please subscribe and support our approach to independent sports journalism. But most of all, thank you. Thank you for making this show, not just a weird experiment, but a community of people who support the kind of mission that we're on to hold to account extraordinarily rich and powerful people while also taste testing, you know, athlete branded weed. We contain multitudes, as does our vault. Please enjoy.

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo. Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata. Yeah, I mean, I feel like they're tapping into things like that I would want to say. Right after this ad. Yo. How are you? Yo.

What's going on, me? Please. How are you feeling? I'm great. I'm great now that you're here, man. Are you sufficiently stoned enough? Oh, yeah. I need an espresso, but can we lower this because I don't fuck with this height of the chair?

It's like a three-quarter shit. I don't like that. You approve, though. The espresso's all right. It's really good. It tastes of vanilla. That's what I chose for you. You chose a vanilla one?

I did. I usually wouldn't go for it, but man, wow. Wow. A wow from you means a lot to me. Not that I should take credit for whatever Nespressio pod. Tahitian. That's your usual go to. Well, no, I feel like you depotted it and then just laid all the,

the bean in there for me. That's exactly what I did. Thank you for noticing. Wow. There are some things in the city of New York that feel extraordinarily New York. And as a New York show, Pablo Torre finds out that feels the need to occasionally remind people

that, yes, we have a physical studio in Manhattan where we tape our show. I marvel at a person like Action Bronson who is oozing New York out of every pore and who is a rapper and an artist and a chef and a 30-something, I believe 39-year-old, native New Yorker, and a host of, That's Delicious, a wildly popular show about food. He's a Renaissance man in a way that is entirely sincere. And so when I saw him on the sidewalk on one of my many almost entirely random walks through the city,

I realized that I had many, many questions that I needed to ask him. What I wasn't sure was whether his particular strain of consciousness would indulge the many questions that I had for him. I knew this was going to be different. And so I just needed to tell him how I felt. I am so glad that you're sitting here. Oh, shit, thank you. For real.

Like, I was trying to, we were trying to, we were trying to, figure out, like, how do we explain to someone who hasn't listened to your music, Action Bronson, before? And we had a couple of, like, well, first off, what do you, when you imagine a listener and appreciator of your music doing, when they're listening to you, what do you imagine? I don't really fucking give a shit, to be honest with you, like, I'm just doing it for myself.

I'm not even thinking about, like, anything else, but new things. I'm just in I've just come back from a new path I'm riding a new path I feel great it's hard to describe anything I don't

it's like if I wanted to describe it I would have talked to you about it you know what I'm saying like it's like when you paint I didn't want to fucking talk to you I painted you something

and that's that right now we're in the process of making new music new breakthroughs so then I'll be excited having a brand new band and doing things like that like the tiny desk and shit like that you know like that's the shit though that I've been listening to all week that it's like one of those

those platforms when you're respected in music they bring you on there and I don't know people seem to really enjoy Enjoy it. I just want to say this very 11. Just understand that I would die for this leather belt, man. Live from the moon. I just want to say this very clearly,

if you have not listened or learned much about Action Brownson before this interview somehow. This tiny desk concert at NPR in D.C., yo, Nadir behind the glass, one of my guys, we were trying to figure out how do we describe this music? And he was like, this music makes me want to ride a horse. Hmm, yes. My third eye, been popping for 8,000 years.

I don't got no cheers. I don't got no fears. I don't get caught up in the bright lights, dear. It brings out all the emotions of carnal desires. Yes. Riding horses on beaches naked. Just things of that nature like fire. Just watching fire burn, watching the ocean roar.

Boy, stay cozy. Laying in a bed That's full of roses Sipping Rosie Free flowing with some Kobe's on Gold Roli on the phony arm I travel the stars like Obi-1 But fuck Star Wars man

Indiana Jones is better bitch That's it Free flow and the acid jazz I'm a jazz instrument Just like a goddamn saxophone Or the roads I am you know So it's definitely reinvigorated me in that manner, but it's, I have to put myself in a hole to dig myself out right now.

That's the zone. So the zone sounds a little miserable if you're using a hole to describe it. Not, not really. It's all, it's all, these are all like, I'm dramatic. I'm being dramatic. It's all dramatizations. I like how you said earlier, I'm not good at describing things. And I'm like, you, I think, are one of the.

the best describers of things. No, it's not, because it's not, I'm not trying, I'm not describing it exact. It's a rendition of my exact brain. This is like, it's like the picture behind you. That's what's happening. I want to say, people have questions like, how do I book this show? I literally ran into you on the street one day. Do you remember this? I don't know if you remember this. On the street, like in Soho, I ran into you. I think we were both varying levels of stoned, incidentally. Yeah, listen, I love the round the horn. That's how you. you booked this.

But then I saw you then, I see you now, and it's kind of a fall day in New York, and I guess I should ask, like, when was the last time you wore pants? I don't, probably 15 to 20 years. The last time I put pants on, I had an accident, and I never wore them again. What happened?

It just wasn't good. It just wasn't good. It can't be disgusting. It can't be discussed, but what I will say, that they were never to be touched on my skin again. Every time I've ever seen you, you're wearing shorts. And they're stretchy so I could squat, so I could work out. I'm not f***ing around with stiff shorts.

You understand? I'm over here flexible. When did you learn that you needed to have stretchy shorts? I was a husky child. Everyone needs stretchy shorts. I don't think that anyone should wear a constricting situation. Anything constricting is like, I get, like, sometimes you get that heat flash that comes over you and just want to rip everything off.

It's a shit off. I get that a lot. So for me to be able to use the actual agility that I was given by nature and science with, you know, my body construction, It's only right that I put on a material that reflects and echoes all of the property. You know? I feel like when you were a kid, though, what was that like? What's young Action Bronson like?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know, like a fucking wild man. Every kid's crazy, I feel in some aspect. You're not even fully conscious, you know? You're just kind of like drunk. you're kind of like on ass you don't know what the fuck is really going on you're so like little bambi-ish

you know so you're just running amok doing whatever thinking that there's no consequence on earth and then I don't know one day it just all hits you you're old and gray your ball sag

you know your ass leaks not talking about me but I'm general These things happen I feel like as I get older I get more sophisticated looking like Sean Connery The gravitas is all over your beard now

It's happening It's happening When you're a kid And Someone picks a fight with you What's the move? Headbutt I'm a headbutter

When did you discover that that was your move That's like a Zangeef move It's like this You ever watch the movie Gladiator? Of course But with Brian Dennyhy That one

No Cuba Gooding Jr. It was an early Underground Fighting movie boxing And He used to say This was the hardest part

of the head Kid Hardest part of the body He hurts tummy What are you gonna do now What are you gonna do now Here he comes Here he comes

You know You never fucking seen Gladiator of Brian Dennyi? You kidding me right now? I have this on VHS. Cuba Gooding Jr. Do you know that actor? Of course. You might have heard of him?

I wish someone had shown me the VHS tape of Gladiator starring Kubrick Jr. Yeah. It was starring Brian Dennyi. Sorry. Cuba Gooding Jr. had the supporting role. But I had a great guy. grandfather, a very good man who loved his VHSs, and that's what he collected and I have about 3,000 in my house.

Holy shit. Yeah, that he left me. All kinds of crazy shit. I've seen it all. I've seen them all. What's better about a VHS? This grain. Everything is better about tape.

There's some graininess. You have to be a kind of sword to understand it. It's like the in-between space. The imperfection of it. It's that, but it also adds. it gives comfort and warmth in some aspects. Film is just captured differently than digital. You know, it's like, whatever.

Anyone can pick the camera up and make the thing, you know? I should point out that you have acted for Martin Scorsese when you talk about film. Yes, I'm accredited as a film actor in the Guild. That's right. I mean, you were in the Irishman. It's pretty fucking bizarre. Can you explain what meeting Martin Scorsese

and being directed by Martin Scorsese was like? Most of the time, people are as stoked as you ought to meet them as they ought to meet you. He was a fan of yours. I don't know if that's the case, but he definitely showed enthusiasm and showed a lot of love and it was nothing but happiness and laughter. And, you know, we had a good time. We only did about three takes and that was it. What was the role you played for people who are unfamiliar?

Just some fucking weird, like, casket salesman in about the third hour, 10-minute mark. It was a pivotal point. They're like the catalanx of caskets. Now, if we're putting you in the fucking oven, it really doesn't matter what you're going. The cheapest shit is possible. Particle board, that's it.

What are we doing today? Are we doing a cremation? I remember distinctly waking up on my couch to the third hour thereabout Mark and thinking to myself, am I hallucinating action Bronson into this film? With that beard, it was bizarre. He asked me to take the beard off.

But I, you know, at that point I was like, man, this is like, I have like six chins under here. So I'm probably not. I'm imagining your home. And I'm imagining the 3,000 VHS tapes. I'm imagining you're incredibly worn down rewinder. You already know there was a rewinder. Of course.

You can't put your machine through that type of wear and tear. You need a separate rewinder. And it was a corvette. Oh, shit. You know how the Corvette Rewinder. Yeah, yeah, the red rewinder. And so if I were to put your brain inside of your Corvette Rwinder, what is the memory that comes up that is not actually on tape anywhere,

but you think of as, oh, this is a core vetted? More memory that I, Action Bronson, have. So, I mean, so many. I couldn't tell you those. Those are for me. I can't tell you. The pants ones in there, isn't there? Yeah.

No, the pants. With pants? There's no secret of the pants. I don't wear them. I just don't think that they're nice. Fashion-wise, I don't like to cover my leg. I work hard to get a calf that has some... Dude, I relate.

I'm a shame. Why would I want to take away from that calf? I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed. I like a sock. I like to show the shoe. I like a full, like my shit is like my quadricep is literally out, fully flexed. Yes.

Yes. Quads out. It's a quad season. I'm just trying to recover from a sacchareliac injury. It's under your like ass area like your nut groin. From the back. Like this is... It's a very specific area.

It's like these muscles that keep them a hamstring nice. So that's not like the grundle. It's near it. Grundle adjacent. It's parallel to the grundle. It's running parallel. Yep, yep, yep. It's in a grid.

Yep. Almost asymptotic to the grundle. Sort of like always approaching but never touching it. No, it runs congruent. I should point out that your calf philosophy shames me because I consider the Filipino people on Filipino to have excellent calves I consider my calves excellent

I have artwork about the Filipino calf Wow This is like a this is not the first time I pointed this out to a guest But on the left is like a standard like a white guy You know, just very vertical calf on the right Is the Filipino calf in my view And I've been told I should wear more shorts You do. You have to show that you have to condition your shin also.

The shin. The shin bone muscle is very important as well. You have to do the front flex, not only the calf. You can't just do front. You got to do back also. So how do you work out your shin? You flex your toe upwards. Do you feel that muscle?

I do. Now put it back down. No, no, no. You doesn't have to go all the way up. No, no, no. Put your leg down. You're right there, right there. flex your foot, now really flex it uptight.

Oh yeah, there it is. See that muscle? There it is. That one. What is your workout routine like now? I just fucking go hard for an hour and a half, and, you know, I do things that I like doing, and then I do things that I hate doing.

Give me the thing you love the most, give me the thing you hate the most. I don't really like bench pressing. It's not really like, I don't fucking love that shit. I love to squire. I love to fucking do like zircher squats with the weight in front of you. I like picking up stones and sandbags and shit like that. I don't like running.

I don't like doing running for long distance. You like the world's strongest man, shit. I do, but then I also like like skinny boy shit. I want to be in shape as well. I like the MMA type of cardio training. I like fighting training. That type of shit. I like to be pushed to the physical limits.

There's a tattoo you have that I believe is... Nothing means anything. So the one that you have... It doesn't mean a fucking thing. Barry Bonds, his season? It doesn't really mean a thing. I was a stupid kid. This is going back to being an idiot.

Why did I do that? He had other seasons where he was juiced up, but that was his most juiced up season. I can't wait to get on G.H. Honestly. Barry Bonds... As soon as I turn 40, I'm taking G.H. Barry Bonds' 73 home run season.

You have that stat line, tattooed on your body. And the growth hormone... It wasn't his most impressive average season. You know that. Well... He hit like 380, right? 375? Barry Bonds...

Hit 370. The year after. That was more impressive. Less home runs. Less home runs by hit 3-7. Yes, yes. Got walked all the time was the most feared player in baseball. And by the way- That's how I stepped to the plate. You put that thing on the fucking elbow guard. When you have that on and you have a dangling earring, who would you be f***ed with? Just about the head butt of fucking baseball. His head was like his jaw.

He had GH face. So the GH face, the growth hormone. Have you taken steroids before? Yeah. 24 years old. I was a judge. juiced up. I don't know. I was taking Project Juice. My boy was like you know from my boy from the neighborhood was getting some juice and we was shooting it up. Shooting up juice.

Into what part of your body were you shooting up project juice? Arm, leg, ass cheek, rear dealt. Seriously. Bad shit. But who knew where this juice was coming from? Could have been canola oil. Could have been whatever.

Mazzola. I could have been fucking giving myself goddamn project surgery, you know, like BBLs. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And what would you go do, though, with all of the... I would go fucking do ballet. An ice skate. We might go fucking lift weights, bro. Meathead shit.

Eat turkey. Raw turkey. Rolled in meat. rolled in raw chicken meat and then rolled in provolode ISO Pure EAS, Bill Romanowski Yes You understand that's the time

I was taking creatine at 13 years old I imagine you now I imagine young Action Bronson eating a raw fucking turduckin like John Madden Straight up to you I mean Turducken is ridiculous

But I like it It does seem a little like unholy. Well, when it's done right, it's delicious. The idea of just like, all that, I think it's craziness. That's more for like, it seems like it started for a party. That's right. Someone wanted to have a party. So like, let's do something festive. I want to explain to people, I think of you as like the ambassador of Queens. So I'm from New York. I grew up on 30th and first in Manhattan. Friends lived in Queens, all of that. Spend way too much time in like the floral party.

area growing up. The hell were you doing in a Floral Park? My friend Pietro de Zario lived in a floral park, Flopo. Okay. Also Woodside, Filipino food. Oh, yeah. How do you explain Queens to people who have not been there?

It's a mixture of every single life on earth in one place. So it's kind of like, it's a holy land. It is the most diverse place maybe on earth. It is, it is. It's a holy land. I've been a lot of place. I couldn't see anywhere else being this diverse. I

there's s sacked up other places but it's not with all these different cultures it's truly unbelievable yes it's truly an unbelievable place yes it's somewhere you never ever

ever have to leave and you've already been everywhere so I feel like a lot of people the export from Queens that they think they're getting is like Kevin James King of Queens When I think of Queens, I think of coming to America. Yes.

That's the first thing I think of. And I think that that's a tremendous depiction of Queens. That one, you're right. That shows Queens in one of the most incredible lights ever. You've got to go to Queens. That's where you're going to fucking meet one of the most incredible. Royalty. Literally royalty.

He got his face on the money, man. You know? He's rich. He is rich. What? He's got his own money. And baby, when I tell you, he's got his own money, I mean the boy has got his own money.

You did it this time. You hit the jackpot. That type of shit. Were you on AOL? Hell yeah. What was your screen name? Ace Wade 56. Hmm.

How'd you get settled on that? How did I get settled? It didn't take much. I just thought of some shit, and that became that. My jersey number was. 56 in high school, like a meathead. And that was it. So A-Suade 56.

Yep. At AOL.com. At AOL.com. Net zero. Oh, yeah. The CD. Yep. Yep.

I was on Earthlink. Damn. Those are two off-brand ones. Absolutely. I had this kid in my neighborhood. It was a computer whiz. He fucking built the computer. And he got me all set up on the compact for Sario.

Yeah, man. And then I got the Dell. I didn't have the good shit. When we had a word processor, I thought we had a computer. I would try to enter launch codes, but it never worked. What sport did you play number 56? Football. Position?

Bayside High School, Center and Nosegard. Prestige. Give me this counting report on you as a player. Deceptively quick. hard hitting long lasting IQ on

unbelievable my awareness is 100 100 on Madden so I'm like the field general I'm the quarterback of the line I know what the I know more than the quarterback does I question his throws

I question his decision making. Why did you do that? What was the reaction when you are questioning what's happening on this team? I'm not that type of guy. In my mind, what the fuck was that, you know? I could, like, throw him under the bus. On to the next play.

Your athletic hero was who? My true athletic hero, I don't really know. Who did I? looked to is like, wow. Mike Tyson. Yeah. Yeah. He captivated me as probably many others.

Did you ever meet Mike? Yeah. He fucking kissed me on the hands. I'm sorry. How does that work? It's like we kissed each other on hands. His respect. It just happened. It just happened. I feel like Mike Tyson kissing you

on the hand is kind of like I don't know. It was crazy. Diana Ross kissing you on the vocal cord. That's pretty heavy duty, but yeah. Yeah. I'd say so. You like Diana Ross?

I was trying to think of spontaneously who was the person who I'd most value vocal cords of. You would want to kiss you on the vocal cord? Yeah, who's the equivalent of Mike Tyson? That's the SAT problem. Mike Tyson is to hands as blank is to vocal cords. Let's see.

I don't know. fucking Diana Ross, though, I guess. Celine Dion. Nah. Not really into her. I mean, Stevie Wonder. Now, that's a vocal chord. Absolutely.

That's a vocal chord kisser right there. You made a music video, though, in which you, this is like pre-deep-fake. You edited your face onto the body of Magnus. Ver Magnuson. Yeah. I might not be able to touch my toes, but I will still fuck these. You take steps to get to the sex. I just flex.

Like Lex. Can you explain Magnus Ver Magnusin for people who don't know the world's strongest man mythology? Yeah, Magnus Ver Magnuson is one of the, like, one of the top strong men of the world. I think he won three. He's just one of them in this world. Marius Pugianowski. Yes. Yucahola won it twice.

Magnus went it four times. Magnus won at four. Ninety-one, ninety-five, ninety-six. Excuse me. But right now I'm in bulk season. I'm back in bulk season. But not too much bulk. Just enough that when I come down, I'm shredded.

And it's really showing. What is bulking up for you look like? This is it. I'm 275 right now. That's it. Can't allow myself. to get over that. Bringing myself down to

230, I'm going to look like fucking Jean-Claude Van Dam. It's doing a split between two trucks. Volvos. Volvos. Remember not commercial? Of course.

This doesn't look like I'm fucking jacked up in this fucking picture. See? Like, it's both. I'm a little bit better now. Leaning forward, I don't look jacked. That's the issue.

I mean, you're wearing a sweater. I'm wearing a de Kimbei Mouton. My Tumbo jersey under this, bro. Are you really? I'm sure am. Nuggets? Who else? I mean, yeah, the Hawks.

But, yeah. It is. It's one of the greatest jerseys of all time. He's Matumbo Nuggets, Jersey. And the Mutumbo Hawks jersey. Both great. I once talked to Temeh, Mattumbo, about his life, and he told me that his house,

he had to have special toilets installed because, of course, he's, like, 7-2 or whatever it is. The importance of a good toilet I was speaking to my colleague yesterday. You don't really know life until you sit on a warm toilet seat Bro. You literally shi immediately. And it's like, it's not just a regular shit. Everything comes out.

You know what I mean? Can I bond with you hopefully about... But you know the toilet, you sit down and it starts spraying something real quick, but you get up, I get up so it doesn't hit me. So you don't like the bidet toilet? I duck it. I don't let it touch me. Oh, come on.

What are you doing? This is the mist, probably. This is the pre-missed. Because I guess they're f***ing moist in the area. But this is the pre-miss. I don't let that touch me. But under your control, you like a bidet? No.

Oh, come on. What are you doing? I'm old school. I come from a grandma with no paper, just a hand. Just a hand. Can I... For the podcast audience, Action Brownson. A grandmother doing this, not me.

Is almost like flipping an imaginary pizza with his right hand. My most disliked version of a toilet is the toilet with the padded seat. That's old school. I hate it. I mean, that's fucking weird. It deflates as soon as you sit on it. Yes. It's weird.

It's like someone asking you to shit into a pillow. Pull over. I'll shit out the window. If I need to go, it's happening. But you like a warm seat, but that's about it. The warm seat is definitely a game show. changeer. Cold, cold floor, warm seat. Yes. Dual. So you get the dual heat. Yep. Cool feet.

Shins extended. Oh, my God. I mean, I don't know who wears clothes to shit, but I don't. You go full on. No matter where if I'm in Kmart, Caldor, wherever. Caldor. Yeah. Yo, Caldor, man, I don't know if kids respect Caldore the way they need to. I used to take Caldor and a fucking. To the cleaners. What are you doing inside of a caldor? Steal anything that's, you know, all the paint.

Take all the home products, the rollers. Handheld dustbusters? The fucking red, when that red devil came out? Yes. The dirt devil? Yep. I've had a dustbuster in my house. I can't even remember when I didn't.

Right now, we don't even have a regular vacuum. We have a fucking handheld dust buster. There's no need. either the shark or the dustbuster. So, like, the world of Roomba's does not appeal to you. The robots. It actually makes me crazy. When they put the thing on it, I fucking trip over it,

creeps up on you. It does. You'll be cooking up and some bull-h-h-hurt. I heard a story once about someone falling asleep on their floor. The Roomba comes out. They have long hair. Now they're being murdered by their vacuum. I mean.

Listen, all that shit, we saw Terminator 2. This is what they were talking about. You understand? The machines. Skynet, this is what they were speaking of. Arnold told you already this was happening. And this is why when they bring the food with the robot, it freaks me the fuck out.

Yep. You know? I don't want to see that shit. Fucking drop underwear from, where's it from drones like Amazon drones Yeah drop Amazon underwear You drop the underwear with the plane

Why you're... I like to imagine you like trying to Like throw a discus At those drones Discus was one of the best sweatshirts brand that ever lived One of the best athletic brands

That I don't know what happened to discus But man Queens Yes You had a f***in discis hoodie Or a discus whatever this one is called, you were the one. I want to ask you about...

12 pack of sunwear shirts in the trunk. Talha. Do you know about these? You know about Talha shirts? No. It's from the White Tea days. Made in Bangladesh. So how is a Talha shirt different from like the Haynes?

You know? Because it's fucking Talha. Tallty. Remember six XTs? Of course. We warns you doing fucking a one. I think they like me dances. Laffy taffy.

I mean, but this is the NBA, my favorite era of the NBA. Throwbacks. I mean, I don't think I've ever taken a throwback off since they came out. There's no need. Have you heard of this Twitter account called Accidental Bronson? No. I don't know if you're going to love this or hate this. Would you be okay with me explaining this to you?

Sure. So I was sitting at a New York Liberty game in the second row right behind court side. And in front of me was Carmelo Anthony. And I was eating Pocky. You're familiar with Pocky? Of course. Which flavor? Macha. Nice.

Yeah, yeah. Good choice. Exactly. A rare, a rare version of it. Did it come from Japan? Yes, of course. I'm not f***ing around, man. Rare snacks, man? Rare snacks. Okay.

So I'm eating this matcha green Paki behind Carmel. And I tweeted out and I just captioned it quietly eating pocky behind Carmelo Anthony And a Twitter account, which I did not know about till then titled Accidental Bronson retweets it. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Oh, it sounds like something I would say. And it's just all of the things that people are tweeting inadvertently. And I'm like, that is exactly a thing that Fing Action Bronson would say. It's true. I mean, to think about it like this, real life is much crazier than anything that you can script.

You know, all the bullshit that you could conjure up in your mind really isn't that cool. If you just assess the situation around you real quick, like, okay, this is what's happening. So you immediately intuitively understood the premise of accidental Bronson. I get it. Can I show you some other ones that people have? Sure. I feel like... Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Let's hear it. Let's hear it. I feel like you gotta say them, though. Nah, no, no, you have to say it. Alright, let me say it. Okay. And then what you can do, though? Let me see it.

You can grade it, okay? You can grade it. I'm gonna expand the window on my laptop. I mean, this is gonna be a thing because this is a tribute account to you. Okay, so put me and Timothy Shalamee in the Oklahoma drill and I'm putting them in a hospital. I mean, boom, that's hard. That's fucking hard. It's all about this.

that type of word, Timothy Shalame, Shamelay, Shalame. Shalame. It's a good word. It is. It's a nice name. It flows nicely off the tongue. 12 a.m. on the Amalfi Coast watching the Raptors playing preseason in Edmonton, hard. So we're going to do this on binary scale of hard and not hard.

Because there's different depths of description. Yes. Why are they playing in Edmonton? and it's preseason there's different depths there's things that add character to it absolutely absolutely for sure Representative George Santos was charged with

theft for stealing puppies from an Amish dairy farmer that's a dud That's just a news story That's just a news headline Just spilled an entire box of shallots in the backseat of the Uber that could be a hook

That could definitely be a hook That's pretty good That's pretty good It could be a fucking hook Young Drozzen Petrovich With a great pair of Adidas top tens Eh That's the photo of a shirtless young Drozzen Petrovich

Holding sneakers You could just take young Drozzen Petrovich with And then put whatever after Yep This is a this is rap class I am I am taking notes

Girl you got the ass Of a young Vladi Divak Hell you I f*** with that hard Vladdi Divots was smoking Half time days Like that's like I would probably mention something about that Or get the ass of a young Vladi Divac

It's heavy I once mentioned my bitch was thick like John Lovitz Mmm The critic It's one of my favorite actors He's thick He is multiple Cs Ashing a sesame bagel

Like a cigarette in front of a room But that's just an incredible It is That's a visual right there That's just poetry Ashing a sesame me bagel in front of a roombook. That type of thing that's attached to me I'm happy about.

Lizzo probably be hitting people in the knee with her flute like Tanya Harding. I actually... I just did a show where I was the chief support for incubus in L.A., which I don't know, it was a 18,000 people sold out show. It's an incredible sentence. All right, exactly. And Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson, one step away, was in the dressing room next to me. And as we walk out to go do the thing, there's this woman in a tuxedo with the tail.

And, you know, she had like very shiny shoes on and she was holding something. And Lizzo was the special guest. So she was in front of Lizzo's dressing room holding the flute for her. She had a flute butler. White glove, flute but, flute. Blutel Blu-Wat-Lubbler. That's a fucking hard line also at the bar watching Japanese youth baseball. Absolutely.

I would word it differently, but yes, it's hard. I'm at the club showing women to Montesabonis DHO highlights. I know his father. Yeah, of course. I'd be showing his father. That would also be weird. Well, some of those lost tapes, though. Not even on VHS.

Arvitas abonis. Oh, yeah, being ahead of his time. One of the great pastors of all time. Big men pastors. Not me getting sacked off at Beetlejuice the musical. I like the premise of this. Well, that actually happened. To you?

To who? It was Representative Lauren Bobert, that security video. And black and white. And Beatlejuice the musical? Yeah. I love that I am breaking the news to you that Lauren Bobard gave, like, her date a hand job at, through the pants, at Beal Juice the Musical in, like, Colorado. Doesn't count.

Yeah, fair. What are we in sixth grade? Hand job through the pants. She should be ashamed of herself. That was not the takeaway for most people, but I see where you're coming from. Doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata, yeah.

I mean, I feel like they're tapping into things like that I would want to say. We got big men doing cartwheels on our offense. Yeah. Hard. I saw a fox eating sour cream and cheddar. Nah. I like the idea of this, though.

Using animals in alliteration. Yes. Is that the right term where they're speaking as human? Oh, that's anthropomorphizing. Anthropomorphizing. What is alliteration? That's when the words in a row have the same first letter. That was totally off.

I had the letter A right. That was eliteration or alliteration? Alliteration. What is e-literation? I don't think that's a thing. I bet you it is. Someone Google that. All right, that's it.

I'm getting the fuck out of here. I got to go eat, bro. I'm done. Action Bronson, thank you for being everything I'd hope for. Can I kiss your hand? No, you're not, but you're going to hug me. You're going to hug me hard with gaming brisk me. So what I found out today is why listening to Action Bronson makes me happy.

And it's one of the first things I told him, right? your music makes me feel good. And the reason why, it turns out, is because he embodies this contradiction between this abiding deep seriousness and also the exact opposite. Often at the same time, action Bronson loves a high-stakes scenario

decorated with low-brow-deterate, details. He makes music for Don Corleone. If Don Corleone also loved the NBA. He is somebody who makes music to listen to while walking around New York City, because New York City is the greatest city in the world. That also, at times, is aggressively the opposite, which is why it is worth celebrating. And so here Pablo Torre finds out a New York show that has just introduced Action Bronson to accidental Bronson, reflecting our capacity individually to spontaneously embody this very contradiction, no matter where you are on this planet.

We wanted to send you into your weekend, into your wanderings around wherever you are, with just something to, um, to listen to. 12 a.m. on the Amalfi Coast watching the Raptors playing preseason in Edmonton. Young drives in Petrovich with a great pair of Adidas top tens. Hard. Girl, you got the ass of a young Vladi Divog. Not me getting jipped off at Beetlejuice, the musical? But at the bar watching Japanese youth baseball.

We got big men doing cartwheels on our offense. Just spilled an entire box of shallots. Hard and not hard. In the backseat of the Uber. Ashy, a sesame bag like a cigarette in front. of a Roomba. Yes. And I'm putting them in a hospital.

Doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata. Yeah, it could be a fucking hook. I once mentioned my twist stick like John Lovitz. Multiple Cs. All right, that's it. I'm getting the fuck out of here. I got to go eat, bro. Hard and not hard.

This has been Pablo Torre finds out. A Metal Art Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.