Page 7 - Austin Powers WATCHALONG

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Join Holden, Jackie, and MJ as they get GROOVY BABY! for an Austin Powers WATCHALOOOOONG. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for more. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present, release the butthole cut tour coming to you in September and October. Where are we heading in September, Jackie? We're going on September 12th. We're going to Nashville. We're going on September 13th to Atlanta, Georgia. And then I're going back to my hometown, September 14th of Tampa, Florida. In October, October 3rd, we're going to be in Detroit, Michigan. October 4th. We're going to be in Columbus. And October 5th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. Page 7 and Wizard of the Bruiser Prezit, release the butthole cut tour. You can find tickets at last podcast network dot com, baby.

Is that it? Who throws his shoe? Is that in the first one or the second one? I don't even know, but I'm gonna be quoting some shit. I mean, she's a man, baby. My whole thing that I say when people sub to my Twitch channel, this has been a lot. A long time coming because honestly watching that

on the commercial for the trailer for Austin Powers made me like cackle in my bedroom. as a child when he's just ripping at an old woman's hair just going, she's a man, baby. Just made me laugh so much. I'm so excited we're doing this. It's Austin Powers Watch Along guys as we are going on vacation during this time. Network break.

Initial thoughts going in. I think we're going to start it pretty quickly here. But anything you guys want to say about yourselves before we start? I'm just excited. This is my first experience. I can't believe that. So many get the like, I can't believe you never watch. shit and just I know so much about it.

Yeah. But I've just never put it all together. Is fat bastard in this one? Absolutely not. Fat bastard is in the shittiest one. I mean, three. Yeah, this is, this is clean.

I've got nuggets of corn in my crap bigger than you. Maybe he's a number two. Seth Green is very funny in this. I think I found that all the Dr. Reval stuff was actually the funnier shit in this. It's zanier than you think it would be. Yeah, you heard that right. MJ is drinking in the morning. Hey, I'm not the only one.

I'm drinking in the morning because Jackie suggested it. Well, we're watching Austin Powers so hard. It's 10 o'clock in the morning here. And I can't be sober. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to run and eat it in five more great medical. Yeah, soberly watching Austin Powers during this when the sun is still up. No.

It's just very weird. Let's see how it hits. Let's see if it holds up as well as American Pie held up. Let's see. That's the thing. I am worried. Slightly. I was very worried about American Pie and it turned out to actually be pretty good holding, like, in terms of, you know, E levels.

But I think that the E levels might be high. I mean, it's a movie that came out in the late 90s, about an extremely horny British man. I mean, but, yeah. This general trivia is Mike Myers originally wanted Jim Carrey to play Dr. Evil, but Carrie eventually passed due to the scheduling conflicts with Liar Lyer, Liar. Myers then took the iconic rule himself. Beautiful, wonderful. I mean, he is so funny at it. I do think it's going to hold up for funniness.

And I'm excited. And I only, I don't want to be like, I can't believe you haven't seen the godfather, Jackie. Just that I can't believe you haven't seen it because I do think that you will like it. Also, don't take that as reality. I've seen the godfather for anyone listening. Yes, you have seen the godfather. No, no.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just made the thing where it's like, yes. The Godfather, that was the ultimate, you're in college, and you're in a room full of people, and somehow it gets found out that you haven't...

I would have to... I would have been new generation. No, we're not doing that. I wonder with the new generation of that. Oh, you have to see frozen. Like, what is the new generation going to be? All right, we'll see what happens. Let's do the count and we've got to get the show on the road

where I'm going to say three, two, one, start. And you have to hit start. You have to hit the play button at the beginning of the moon start. It's on... It's on Prime Video if you guys want to watch a lot. If you want to rent it, we rented it on prime. We'll talk over it too, though, so it's not like you need to watch along. If you don't want to, let's do it.

I'm starting the countdown now. Three, two, one, start. All right, a couple little identifiers. We've got the new line. It's always the scariest part of all. It's hitting the start. Is it all set up? Is it ready to go?

New Line Cinema. Time Warner Company just popped up. Now we've got New Line Cinema Presidents just popped up. Yeah, same. And an association with Compel International, all right. It's enough identifiers. Now we're just going to start the show.

Let's do this. Yes, bitch. Starts very seriously. This is the second comment we're doing, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This didn't start as an S&L thing. No. It was Austin Powers, like, like, strictly just the movie.

No, however, this character is apt. It is not, is not. I know that for a fact. This character, however, is completely based on Lord Michaels. Really? And I think it is basically, I think it's like a show, I think if you watched a lot of Mike Myers on SNL and then watched Austin Powers, you would see that basically a lot of the characters kind of are extensions of characters he created on SNL, not in a direct way, but in an indirect way. You know, the voices. Right. Gotcha.

Whoa. But I've never done a, Austin, I feel like Whizbrew will probably eventually do an Austin Powers, but I don't have any of that, like, pop-up video knowledge of this movie. Me neither. But I just, as a, as a extreme 90s SNL watcher, when I saw Austin Powers, I was like, oh, this is just like the most logic. It's like the full realization of everything Mike Myers was doing on SNL, you know, if that makes sense. Gotcha.

Yes. There we go. Here he is. It still is amazing that this movie became what it became. I mean, Austin Powers became an absolute. became an absolute cultural phenomenon. And I feel like it was a slow burn for the popularity of the first movie.

But by the time the second movie came out, I mean, you were dog shit. You should be beaten in the streets if you weren't at that opening night. I'm already laughing. I can't believe Jackie doesn't have bruises. He is so funny. It's so, so wonderful.

And it's just so weird because I haven't seen it since probably 1997, but it really is fucking, he's just, It's so talented. And Mod London, you know, is such a, like, Twiggy era is such a fun thing to make fun at a event. So is he a fashion photographer? Like, oh, what's the guy with the, he is the mayo in the hair, big edge. He's just, he does, he's a jack of all trades, international man to mystery.

He's James Bond. He's James Bond. Right. Very fun. The costumes are just. And it's one of those things. like American Pie where like so many one-liners and jokes have survived 20 years later that you forget that the actual original thing was really funny.

Because many of the jokes that survived make it not funny anymore. But like now I'm watching it. I'm like, oh yeah, he's so funny. Of course people wanted to watch him play a bunch of different characters in a movie. Oh, Mike Myers is amazing. It's crazy what happened with the game. He's leading the parade. This whole opening sequence is perfect.

It's such a fun, like, musical but not musical. Yeah, look at this. You're immediately into the world. Yeah. Yeah, dance to the street. Yeah, a huge choreograph marching band dance number. And you have to, I'm sure this did not have the craziest budget either. Right.

For sure. It looks like an expanded SNL skit, you know, but in a good way. When he flips into the car. And then just babes, dude. And Elizabeth Hurley in this made my... What did it do to your penis hold in? The doctor, to, the job to! The eye lingered so hard.

I was full cranberries mode. It turned your penis into a cranberry's song. Yes. A zombie. Okay, so this is 1990. This is like, and everything, I think something that I miss in the Austin Powers franchise is that everything is a James Bond reference,

but I'm not really a Bond head. Everything is a James Bond reference, but also like, we hadn't quite, I think this was, we were finally starting to get to lampoon, like, uh, with Adam West Batman stuff. You know what I mean? Like, it was finally like time to sort of take the piss

out of this really silly time. in entertainment, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But then also really like play with, you know, for this, it was like the swing in 60s and everybody's just fucking and there's no responsibilities. And since then, AIDS happened and all these things. So it's taking the, it's also making fun of like how absurd it was to be, it is to be promiscuous like this in today. You know what I mean? And there's all these consequences and things like that. And that's what Austin's going to find out when he travels into the future. Spoiler alert. Whoa. Ouch.

I don't remember anything about the plot. You don't remember any of this? Andy Warhol. You don't remember anything about the plot? He goes in the future. It's the whole thing. Right. They freeze him in carbonite.

In fact, that's like the first really funny bit. Right. He's punched a woman. It's a man, man. So funny. It's one of Dr. Evil's assassins. So great.

Yeah, I think the part where I was really like, wow, this is really genuinely hilarious was the part, was the unfreezing section. And this is the first She's a Man, man, man, or, you know, but it's not, it's not particularly

transphobic. It's just like, no, that's a spy. You know, it's like not. That's all this. It's spy humor. Yeah, it's not a, it's not. I mean, that's why I have. I haven't stopped doing it for my stream because it's not the whole. What's funny to me is him thinking this is going on with this old woman later in the movie and just ripping at an old woman's real hair while she's going.

Ah! So it's more of a physical abuse joke. It was another one of those things where I couldn't remember, much like Ace Venture, if you revisit it, you're like, oh, no. But in this case, you revisit it and you're like, oh, it's fine. Yeah, totally. Everything, I'm sure, will hold up completely fine in this movie. Oh, I bet. Now that we had such a positive experience of American Pie, I'm going to be on an apology tour of 90s movies.

Yeah, I saw some of us. They were all fun. But now I also understand the big boy reference, which I probably wouldn't have understood that then. Totally. I go to Bob's Big Boy. Now we cut to the present. Ninety-7.

A great time, honestly. PlayStation's rocking the scene. Right. I'm, yeah, give us a, like, paint the picture of 1997 for you, I mean, I feel like high school was better for me. You're in a freshman year of high school. I believe so. I get my, my PlayStation and Funnel Fantasy seven around this time. And I'm just, I'm in a, I'm starting to get into a serious about a band. I'm, I'm, I'm no longer as concerned about fitting in or whatever, and I've just given up on that. You know, it's a good time. It's a good time. I'm in sixth grade.

just, you know, it's a horny age. And so to have a movie that's just all about horniness It was an interesting time for me. I mean, I had a real problem with Heather Graham in the sequel. Oh, yeah. I had a real, real issue. Yeah, Heather Graham was the first, like, woman where I was like, would I? I was obsessed with her in the sequel.

She's really hot in the sequel. So hot. She's just a really hot person, but she's very hot in the sequel. Oh, my God. I just was like, I would actually. yeah, I was going to town on Miss out to you have to let it linger. You weren't like lingering while watching Austin. Dude, yeah, I definitely have some weird.

No, no, no, it's definitely the Heather Graham stuff especially. I would fast forward to certain parts of that movie and make bliss, as they say. Just seeing this hallway reminded me of the, I think it's in this movie where he tries to do a three-point turn. tries to turn around. That's like one of the things we all remember is he's on the forklift and he's trying to do a, he's trying to turn around in a very narrow hallway and it's absurd. Vanilla ice is cryogenically frozen.

Austin Powers has frozen himself. You're right, Holden, it is essential to the plot that he goes into the future. I didn't, I had not thought about this movie since I was a Horty sixth grader, okay? That's the whole point is that he's fish out of water. Yes, that's right. He's, you know, dealing with the,

Because he's the, I mean, so much of the joking, like I said, is that he's this promiscuous swing in 60s, just sex fiend. And now he's, like, in a post-AIDS epidemic, like, just everything has changed around sex and everything. And he's, he needs to catch up. It's interesting, too, because the 90s was, like, a very puritanical time. Warm liquid gooey. Yes. Yeah, it was. It was more.

The 90s was massive, you know, cultural war conservativeism. I think that was a Matrix reference, actually, no, because I don't think Matrix came out. Matrix was later. Seemed like it when he's being unfrozen. What was the first Matrix? First Matrix was, First Matrix 99. Yeah.

Very fun stuff here, just this whole little sequence. He's being reawakened. He's still going with physical comedy, you know. He is. I remember this is a big moment right here. This is a big moment. This very long piss was one of the big, like, oh, this movie's hilarious. I remember hearing about this part, and I was like, Tom Hanks did that in a league of their own.

Like, that was like where I was like, uh, already happened. It's like, Jackie, that's not the same thing. It didn't matter. Long pises were so in for me at this time. Long pices were in. Because actually it was done way before either of those things. It was in, uh, they're all going to laugh at. you, Adam Sandler, the comedy album, had a track called The Longest Piss, and it was done masterfully

in that track. And the guy even, yeah, oh my God, you haven't heard the longest Piss before. I feel like we need to pause the episode to go listen to the longest Piss. That was, to me, peak comedy in whatever year that came out. It was just a never-ending piss to the point where the guy gets concerned about his own pissing. It's very, very funny. He's like, oh, my God, oh, my God, just keeps pouring out of them. But it's all audio. right? There's this pause and then he farts

and then he keeps pissing it was one of the funniest things I've ever ever witnessed. Who are these people? Mike Myers looks so young. Isn't that a weird thing to go back and watch movies

that came out when you were a young person and then you realize all the people in them are very young? We should have a... Yeah, and that they're like younger than you are now watching movies. We should have a quotable like, I'm having a time

I'm going to go, like that's, all right, that's already. Drink every time there's like an extremely famous quotable line. Yeah. We get in 10.

8. Oh, God. I'll get 10. Honestly, it's a million. Oh, yeah, this also has help, help. I'm trapped in a nutshell. That's a good one.

Wait, both of those then later, is Anchorman? Referman referencing both of those jokes? Because he says, I'm trapped in a glass cage of emotion. and he also has a whole bit. Well, yeah, Anchorman, which was an extension of an S&L, Robert Goulet bit about how he can't,

no, not Robert Goulet, a different bit and that Will Ferrell did an S&L about how he can't control the volume of his voice. MJ, I can no longer hear a word you're saying. Oh, Elizabeth Hurley has entered. The scene. Now has you, Grant cheated on her with a sex worker at this point in his three. Yeah, because that happened in 1995.

We just did this three. So it's already a post. I mean, talk about people not understanding the actions of a man. I mean, there were so many horny for Elizabeth Hurley dudes that were like, Hugh, what are you doing, man? You got the, you got the one, you know what I mean? But this just goes to show. Everyone can be cheated on.

You can be the, you can be Beyonce. It doesn't matter. Your ass will get cheated on, Jackie, MJ. Holden. Yeah, we're getting cheated on. Oh, we're getting cheated on. I'm pretty sure I like these in the other room. Beggins the mailman or something.

Cheating right now? I'd say, I'm fine with it, though. Should I call Jeff at work? Is he on me right now? Yeah. The workplace. I just call them immediately say, are you cheating on me right now?

Elizabeth Hurley was such a fucking bombshell in this movie. There's also the FemBots as well. Or is it the FemBots? What are they called again? I think they're called FemBats. Yeah. It was also them.

Danger's my middle. This is that time period. I mean, we had the, this so much. National Ampoon's vacation with who was that in the car.

Like every big silly summer comedy had to have this like male gaze. What happened? Sorry, he went a necklace with the male symbol

and the way like Mike Myers looked at her was just very, very funny. And the penis and larger pup. The Swedish. Why is it Swedish?

The receipt for the penis and larger. Sweetest... Why did he have a credit card for the penis and larger? A warranty card. Oh, my God. Am I about to realize

that this movie taught me everything I know about comedy? Because it is like, here's how you heighten your joke. This is how you hide. Yeah, exactly. They're totally heightening it. Now the Swedish made penis larger

pumping me written by Austin Powers. You could just... You could just isolate that clip and be like, this is heightening. This is what heightening is. Pure heightening. Highening, pure heightening.

How old is Elizabeth Hurley in this? I don't know. So young. Yeah, so young. She's still got it now. I follow her on Instagram. She still makes my Creighton angry. Yeah, for sure, dude.

For sure. Dude, what was the one with the whale in it? Bewitch? No, it's not bewittable. Bedeviled? Bewitched. It's the one with Elizabeth. with Hurley.

The old man in the sea. No, no, no. The way, what's the name? Ben, Brendan Fraser and her. And bedeviled. What is that movie? I used to literally rent it

just a jerk off to it. Beguiled. Not beguiled, bro. Bedazzled. Is it bedazzled? Oh, yes. It was bedazzled. I love the 60s, like,

dance interstitials. Yeah, the quick interstitials. This had so many things in it that you wouldn't expect. And like, one of the biggest ones was like, we get the Austin. Powers thing. But the Dr. Evil side had so much funny stuff.

I will actually be quiet during the Dr. Evil monologue in group therapy with his son. That is one of my favorite comedy monologues of all time. Yeah. It makes me laugh. We're going to try to talk a lot just so that if you are listening to this and you're not watching Austin Powers, it's not just a podcast of silence, but there are going to be times where...

But that one moment, I'm in a, we will have a moment of silence for that speech. It is so funny. Is that in? Is that the end of Will Farrell in this movie? I think he, I think the joke is he keeps coming back. I'm so badly burned, but I'm alive.

Yes, this is the joke. And they do, they run this joke. Again. Sorry, I just run the joke. Hey guys,

my name is Jackie. I just really do. Much like SNL, it's a lesson in heightening, and it is also sometimes a lesson in just taking the joke 10 seconds or 10 minutes farther than it needs to go.

Yeah, they call it the rule of a million. So there's the rule of threes and the rule of a million. So you either can only do one joke three times or heightened three times or you can beat it to death until it's not funny anymore and then it becomes funny again. Well, there's also in between that, there's the rule of, I think, Kurt Braunhler called it the rule of 29 and the Kurt and Kristen bit Kristen Shaw as a horse was that you had to just do it. They did Kristen Shawl's a horse for as long as they possibly could until they were like blue

in the face and out of breath, and it was a similar before a million than after three. Right. So, this peak Will Ferrell, though.

Will Ferrell's still screaming about getting out. I'm very badly burned. Oh my God, the amount that I quoted this movie through middle school.

You shot me. You shot me right in the arms. I still. But this keeps going into the second movie, too, I believe. Just waiting to hoping he's finally dead.

She's great in this too. She's such a good... What is that actress's name? She's in so many good comedies from this time period. Always holds it down. Mindy Sterling. Yeah, she's so funny, man.

She's in... You know, Frabissina's name comes from the Yiddish word, Farbissen, which is usually used in conjunction with Punim, meaning face. Barbissom punim describes a dower, pinched or forbidding I mean, who throws his shoe?

Didn't this guy go to jail for like murdering somebody, by the way? Who? The actor who plays an oddball character? Yeah, yeah, I think so. It's lucky charms. Always have to be lucky charms. Everyone thinks it's funny. We think it's funny too.

It's dumb. It's a television commercial. Oh my God. I just quoted this movie so insufferably much in six, from sixth grade till ninth grade. Honestly, we recently rewatched Anchorman and I did the same thing where I was just like, man, all we did was talk to each other. Same. And my entire high school life could be summed up in Anchorman quotes. We just compulsively could not stop quoting Anchorman. And Napoleon. And Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah. Now I'm trying to find this dude to make. sure I'm right or wrong.

Oh, Cindy Margolis was a Fembot. That makes sense. Cindy Margole, she was the most downloaded woman on the internet. Remember when that was the thing? I remember. What a horny time. I can't find the guy, but I'm pretty sure there's a dark story. He grabs the cat.

He grabs his arm. That's fun. It's called Blackburn. Uh-oh. Harry and Megan. Oh my God, MJ, you missed quite a go-off session on Harry and Megan in the left. Really? Oh, boy.

I feel like that happens every few weeks. I miss a go-off on Megan Markle session. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had lots to yell about. Man, shooting for this must have been a nightmare for Mike Myers, though. Yeah. Like, he must have just been on, like, on every single day.

Yeah, I know, I would love, I really would love the, the pop history, if you will, of Austin Powers and like what, because obviously this was like a massive, I mean, he was already a superstar from Wayne's World, but I wonder how the ways in which this changed his career to have something that was so quotable. And so like he, it's not like you never recover from a movie like this because that makes it all sound so negative. But in a way, it's just like, well, this then just defines your entire. career despite everything that came before and after, right? So you think that laid the groundwork for him to be able to accept the Black? I guess Shrek was, I mean, the Shrek's voice is Fat Bastard's voice, right? It's like they're the same, you know? Yeah, pretty much. And then, you know, and it was the love guru that really tanked everything, but the love guru really fell flat for a lot of reasons.

Like, I think just something happens to us all. Like, I think if you're that hot on a comedy, you're going to, like, lose it in the You get so success. It's like the Adam Sandler syndrome. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. It almost is kind of sad watching this. Because it was, it's so funny. But it became this thing that was kind of like,

it just got so, you know, it became, everyone was so over it eventually. Yeah, yeah. You know. Well, I think his biggest mistake was making another, like, movie centered around a horny guy that's really good at sex. You know what I mean? Like, that was the whole, like, we just did that.

So Love Guru was so horny. also. And I think the moment had passed for that. And it was just like really bad. It was just didn't have billion dollars. And there was so much, I feel like this was a time where like I, there was obviously, there was always movies that became kind of offshoots from SNL cast members. And they were always like really, really, really hit or really, really, really miss. And somehow Austin Powers was one that hit. It was like he was an SNL star who's then continued to be a star after SNL. It's hard to do, but it's very possible to trajectory into it. I want to actually make the case for is Austin Powers the last truly huge comedy blockbuster

that literally got the same kind of marketing and business that like superhero movies or like Barbie or whatever gets today. I mean, I guess Barbie's now a comedy too, right, kind of returning with it. But this was something that was like on Burger King. cups and stuff in a way that like never happened after like we we've talked a lot about this Jake and I and Wizard about like what happened to the comedy movie you know we talk about barb and star how that was like one of the last bastions of like that such a great that kind of comedy is like kind of dead in terms of what like these kinds of comedies used to be I saw somebody

on a podcast talking about how um and I think I kind of agree agree, like, something happened with superhero movies and, and these big blockbuster movies where I think, and I think because movies got so expensive to go see in the theater, too, it was, like, kind of combined that, like, MCU movies became, like, a constant output and the norm, these giant multi-million dollar, billion dollar productions that, and then movies became, like, $25 to go see. And I think in people's minds, like, they're like, why would I go see a comedy when I If I'm going to spend

$25 bucks I want to see something that cost a billion dollars to make, you know what I mean? That's interesting because there was a whole I feel like there was the whole like

Yeah, this bitch Do I make you horny baby? Oh! Oh, I fell over. What? She's saying I will never have sex with you even if you're the last man on earth.

And I was the last one on. Lost and how hot. She is at this point, especially. Especially with her messy, oh, like kind of messy hair. Yeah, and this, have you ever slept on a circle bed like that? No. I think I was at a hotel once. I was thinking about the circle bed the other day and how weird that is and how no one actually

like sleep someone at home. But for some reason, it's hornier in a romantic. What makes the circle bed more romantic? You can get more positions going? I guess. Or something? Why does the circle bed equal sex bed? I don't,

I've never quite. I think it's just because it's different and it's what you don't have in your own home. So it's like, so it's, so it is a hotel bed usually. Yeah. Yeah,

I feel like it's, it's just that it's in sexy hotel. Like I was at a hotel that was very like sex themed. Ooh, did you go to a sexy hotel? This was not for, even for my own sex purposes. It was for, it was like somebody's wedding. Oh, uh-huh.

Oh. I've always wanted to do like a fun love hotel or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's so weird that the round bed. Wait, that's Dr. Evil's son. They froze his sperm and they thought that he wasn't going to come back and they made him a son. One of the funniest parts of the movie is the Seth Green's character as his son trying to reconnect, like him and Dr. Evil tried to reconnect with their relationship and this genuine.

way. It's a real age of Seth. I'm hip. Oh, this is so good. This is one of my favorite words. He's doing the macarena. Holden, this is going to be you with Winnie. I'm telling you, I'm telling you.

Oh. It's so good. That's so good. I'm a freaking Frankenstein. Wow. We just have back to back scenes of Mike Myers' his character trying to touch someone who doesn't want to be touched. And neither of them is that bad, despite the fact that the scene with Elizabeth Hurley is literally

him throwing himself at her as she's saying no. Literally I'm just trying to make sex happen with her. It's so campy that it's like not, it's not even... I'm falling over. Well, I think he does a really good job of coming off as both incredibly horny and desperate for sex all times and also incredibly harmless. Yeah. There's something about his character.

In fact of 1997. Yes. Well, easier line then than now, I feel like. Yeah, right. Right. That joke just probably wouldn't be in a movie now, but in this movie, it's fine. It's okay. But again, that's the whole joke they're playing off of, that it was a lot.

It was a different time in the 60s. You know, in the 60s, a rape was on the menu. You know what I mean? But, no, I'm just kidding. Shall we shake now? Shall we shake later? Yeah, it's surprising how. not how it doesn't feel bad.

He's just relentlessly coming on to her. Well, he gets away with it. I mean, that's how you get away with stuff. If you make it that he's out of time, fish out of water, if that is what you make it, then it's okay. You can get away with more stuff, ish. I mean, not today because people are like,

ooh, oh, X, I'm talking on X. Oh, you and your exes. And I'm not talking about past. I mean, it's impossible to make, I mean, dude, did you see the new news? And I'm not making any comments about it. But like, Bradley Cooper must be beside himself right now because everyone is being like, what, who's the character? I mean, he's Leonard Bernstein.

He's Leonard Bernstein. He's Leonard Bernstein. No matter what, he poured himself into a character role, like, trying to get an Oscar. Like, this is a big swing for him, clearly. And all people can talk about is how big is that is. And everyone immediately is like, what are they doing? I feel, yeah, it's not his fault.

No, fine. Then we should give more shit to, what's his name, for the teeth in that queen movie. That was egregious as well, I feel. Oh my God, Remy Malick. Oh, my God, those teeth. Those giant, funny teeth. He got a lot of shit for that. But, yes, the nose, the nose.

Bradley Cooper's nose in the Bernstein biopic is anti-Semitic. But this is the thing. I don't think anybody was trying to be like, yeah, let's shove it to the Jews. But Holden, that's how these things work. No one's, of course they weren't trying to do that. They were just like, he's just a big nose guy. You know, that's how anti-sibb. You don't always have to be a Nazi.

You can be like a nice guy who's like, let's make this cartoonishly large nose. And in that type of situation, though, all I could think about is Bradley Cooper sitting in his like living or whatever just crushed. He just worked so hard on that movie. You know he did. You know he wasn't trying to come off. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's not. Fuck.

And everyone's mad at the snow white lady as well. I was reading about that as well. And this is, of course, the soup Nazi from SNL, by the way. Yes, that's who it is. I was trying to figure it out. I was trying to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, that's soup Nazi. Henry got to meet him and he sent me a picture with him like a month ago.

And he's like, look, oh, I got to. picture with it. I was like, I have no idea who that is, Henry. But also to be fair, this is soup Nazi what, 30 years later. I love that. Allow myself to introduce myself. Oprah.

Well, yeah, his name is number two. I forgot about that. Ha, I get it. She's hot, too. I remember having a lot of vagina. A lot of vagina. I remember that one. A lot of vagina. Yum. Yums for her as well. I bet, man.

Well, she had a lot of vagina. You know what, it's funny, too, is even Barb and Star, everything, it always has to have horniness. Barbit Star also has silly horniness. Oh, yes, Barbin Star is amazing. It's so funny how it always had, that we've got, why, what is that? Why do we need, like, we need Seder in our big, silly comedies. Like, we need, you know what I mean? Like, the ancient Greeks used to do the Sater plays.

They had, like, fake penises and stuff. It's like what is it about sex and comedy that has it like has to be injected in it? Because sex is funny. It really is if you think about it, you know? It's like you're making weird noises. Things are going on things and it's messy. People look ridiculous doing it. Like this.

Yeah. That we go through so much to just to get it. It's entirely human. Yeah. That's why it's like anything. Like when people are like, I never laughed. during sex, which is like, I mean, I guess that's good for you, but like, I have to laugh. If anyone, I know, I saw someone tweet and I wanted to respond to them.

It was a comedian tweet, though, so it's like, I don't want to be that. Whoa, Tom Arnold. Oh, well, this is great. This is a classic bit. You're going to, oh, this is a, but Jackie probably won't love. This is not in Jackie's wheelhouse for classic bits, but it is a shitting bit, essentially. No. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But this is the first time I heard the phrase courtesy. flush, and that actually helped my public shitting game. I didn't realize, like, I never thought about it. I was like, oh, yeah, in the middle of a really stinky shit, you can just flush the toilet and, like, get the stink out of there. Yeah, get it out of there.

But anyways, there's no actual shitting, Jackie. It's shitting noises because of this. Oh, gotcha. With his lucky charms. Oh, yeah. And wait, why is Dr. Evil trying to kill Austin Powers? Because his Austin Powers, they're nemesies.

Oh, I get it. I get it. Yeah, and I mean, he was. He was brought back to, he was brought to... Hey, partner, come on, you gotta relax. Don't force you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Courtesy flush is huge, though, man. I did, I never even thought about it, you know.

You might get a little spray, you know, you might get a little splash on your, on your talks, but... Talks. It's number two work for. Work for. That's right. Show that turn is fun. Yeah. does number two work for so funny yeah I do love and also this is such a funny take on it instead of

him just being mortified he's like coaching him he's like helping him like it just to get him see this is honestly this is my kind of shit here this is good no actual shitting's happening no shitting we just sounds like it is I mean do you think that this lucky charm this is like the most I don't even want to ask this question because it feels like a comedian reactionary question But do you think that, like, even watching a scene like that, there's nothing offensive about it, but it also is kind of hard to imagine that scene being in a movie in 2023, right? Because it just feels like sensibilities have shifted along with some of the kind of evolving conversations about, like, how to not be offensive to people. And that scene wasn't offensive to anybody, but it's also still feels like a product of its time.

You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yes, completely. I mean, even this scene right here where you have the mountain, you have a gay show, you've got like, I mean, even this.

Because he's talking about all the, he's talking to like all the world representatives. Yeah. That's funny. And obviously comedians talk all the time about like, can't even make jokes anymore. Like, not good comedians, but bad comedians. But I wonder if there's like, I don't know.

It's interesting to see this kind of like the most popular comedy of its time. watch all of the bits and being like, this bit wouldn't age well, this bit wouldn't age well, even though there's like not anything super wrong with any of them per se, they just feel dated now. They've just been, well, well, for multiple reasons. They're also incredibly dated. Yeah.

Because Awesome hours two and three came out and recycled most of these bits. That's right, right. This laughing bit is, again, this, this bit has been done a million times by a million people. bits live in our head for decades. They just keep laughing and keep laughing. But this was hilarious to me in 1997. I mean, this extension of the joke, the laughter is very cool. It really is the S&L formula of just like, take a good bit and then keep going, keep going, keep going.

Go, go, go with it. Sometimes it'll work. Sometimes it's better. I think it's so much better than the rule of three, which like, you know, so many comedy schools abide by of like the rule of three where it's like, nah, man, just take it. Run of this. See, make it go from being not funny to funny again.

I think the smartest thing about it, honestly, is just the sheer fact that we are never stuck with Dr. Reville or Austin Powers too much. Yeah. Because it keeps switching back and forth, but you're getting Mike Myers the whole time. You're right. It's kind of essential because they both are really annoying characters, but they work in balance with They wouldn't be palatable for like to hold an entire movie. But because I again, I was going into it.

I just remember the Dr. Evil stuff all like being the surprisingly most funny stuff in the movie. Right. But you thought the movie the whole time was going to be, you know, this kind of stuff with Austin Powers, which also this was clad. Again, this has been done. How many times has this been done since this movie? She's holding up the microphone. He's stretching behind her and she just keeps holding up different items and something. front of where he's naked and stretching and there just is a, it's just a running bit of what other

items can be held in front of his dick to stop his dick. I feel like this has been done before Austin Powers as well, but how many times have you seen this bit? Like we're holding up things in front of the genitals. It's always fun. It's always fun. Now I can't stop. Wait, so they banged already. Jeez, the sausage. Did they bang? Did they bang? Is that what happened at this point? I don't think they have. I think they're just sharing a space. Okay, they're just, he's just, he's just, He hasn't won her over yet. He hasn't, yeah, remanced her yet. Spoiler alert.

Hey, Holden, first time here. I think they haven't, or have they? No, I think you're right, Holden. I think he was just sleeping naked. Because she was just having a conversation with her mom, and her mom was explaining, like, well, yeah, this is just what people used to be like in the 60s. So that's, she was kind of explaining the premise

as Holden explained it. This is a culture shock for him. Oh, was I supposed to be listening in a way? Not just staring. I'm very worried about the fact that I'm basically just explaining jokes for people who are listening to this podcast. And I didn't really consider that that is what in Austin Powers Watch. Yeah, but that's okay. We're finding in roads to talk about other stuff.

Just like, do you want to listen to someone to describe the jokes in Austin Powers? Because that's what we're doing. No, also, I remember. Now the romancing the stone over here. Yeah, Mr. Burke-Backer-ack. Ooh, I will say in this time period, I think that this was like the week. like bully time period of my life where I was like I don't watch parties and so I think that's why I was virtually so against it like what it was it was very popular and you could very much if you were like the

year before I would have been like I don't watch popular movie you know so you could have had a steak you could have planted your little steak to be like I'm not going to watch this yes this was way more like when I was watching I know what you did last summer like this is when I was like this I was like 11, I started getting like edgy, you know. Oh, yeah, dude. This is about as mainstream as you could get. This was the year I was trying to be popular. Don't look into the dude who played random task, the guy who throws the shoe.

It is dark. Oh, yeah. It's very dark. Yeah, a lot of very bad stuff. I want to have this date night in Vegas. I'm going to Vegas next week. Should I be doing this? Yes.

they're playing Twister guys I called him odd ball before but he's odd job But also can we talk about How amazing Twister was For people that wanted to get close to other people And what a nightmare it was for Yeah Twister

Twister really was huge back in our day And it was always like This is just trying to yeah Get people Oh man I didn't even know he did the escalator bid and all that stuff. Because I love these bits. That's what really popularized this.

The escalator for, I mean, we all used to know about the, the stairs and the escalator, but doing the canoe and the elevator. Yeah, that was all. He's very good at it. Help, help, I'm trapped in a nutshell. There you go. So now it's good. Would you, okay, question.

Yes, I'd have sex with her. I mean, I know my answer. Would you have had sex with this man? Oh, oh, Austin. Would you have, does Austin do it for? for you, MJ. I mean, at the time, I was so disgusted by him. And now I'm like, Mike Myers is kind of cute.

I, and like, especially because he, like, doesn't know any better. And, like, he just, like, has his zeal. I'm trying to like, shall he's down. Oh, my God. I love it. Uh. But, but Holden, let's say, looked almost exactly the same. But what if Austin Powers was a woman?

Would you have sex with this? No, I mean, what? For me, though, I mean, come on. This is like my idol. Like, this guy's got bad teeth and he's, by all constructs, generally not. Also, because you're drunk, it's not right? Yeah.

Also turn me on. This is actually cool. This is, by the way, this is a cool moment. This is a cool moment in a movie that you did not see a lot. Wow. And this is definitely like a save the cat kind of thing. Like early on, you see him be a gentleman and have like boundaries. and that makes you like him way more, right?

Honestly, I'm insanely surprised by you're drunk and that's not, yeah. You wouldn't think of, but I know he's a gentleman's spy, but like. And also it is, this is the, it's a little late in the movie, but this is the save the cat that we needed to make us want him to be with her and like him. And like him and really. It's so true. Yeah, like I expected his like horniness to not age well because it's like he's throwing, he's literally throwing himself at women. But then it turns out he's actually really respectful.

Wow. Are we about to redeem the entire 1990s? I mean, it's. Or the Austin Powers and American Pie. Yeah, I want to find the good shit. We're watching the safe stuff. I want I want the good stuff. What doesn't hold up for real?

What doesn't hold up for real? Yeah. I'm scared. Again, the movie waiting. You can watch that in your own time. But it was just the bad absler? I mean, where was it a lot of stuff? It would, except for the fact that that was the entire movie was that. Like, it was just like, it wasn't funny and it didn't.

It just like wasn't, it wasn't funny. It was all, like, showing each other your balls, which like, sure, all right, show each other your balls. But then it was showing each other your balls, calling them the F slur, and then like, slap it. him in the face and like that was so much of what the movie was that I was like, come on, right, right, right. Come on. I'm done with this. Yeah, I'm, I'm surprised.

Go ahead. Road trip. I kept saying the blonde Asian woman like kind of McGuffin or not MacGov, but like, yeah, I guess she is kind of a muguffin in the movie. I kept saying that was a road trip thing, but apparently I'm confusing that with a National Lampoon movie that came out around the same time. And it's not road trip. that they did that.

So, Salma Hayek. Fagina. Fagina. So hot. I mean, I forgot really an all-star cast. I think that was also kind of fun, right, to see a lot of, like, serious actors be in this extremely ridiculous movie, you know?

And being hot as shit. Being hot as shit. And all the costumes are great. The whole thing looks great. But also everything to me. I mean, I mean, looking up this guy. I mean, this is what I, my dream was just to be funny and horny and that, a gentleman spy, and that gets you by, you know, and people just love it. I, uh, oh man.

And also, by this point, too, I mean, Salma Hayek and desperado for me. I mean, I know people also say from Dust Till Dawn, but man, it was just, you couldn't do any better. I mean, this was just, I have to go home right now. Like, I got to go home, dude. Remember when you were that horny? You were like, I have to leave the place I'm at. No. And go take care of this. Or is this Salmahyak?

I'm fairly sure if you have a vulva, you don't have to go through those things. Which is a very nice aspect. Or this is a lot of... This isn't Samaheik, is it? No. I'm thinking it was Salma Hayek for some reason. But yeah, she could do it. No, her name is Fabiana Udenio.

Rock and roll, dude. Same kind of type, though. You know what I mean? Lexi's peering in. She's hearing the howls of horniness. Uh-oh, his horniness. Lexi's feeling, if you need to go have sex with your wife right now,

I'll allow it. Rent this movie and fast forward to this part, for sure. Which is so conflicting because then you have this weird guy with a hairy chest. Also in your scenario. He's covering his nipples. Gravy, baby. It is such a strange. experience to revisit both American Pie and this and realize how good they both are and how

they are so not ever going to be made like this again. Also, also, they had to do the, you're too drunk, we can't have sex because right after that he's going to like kind of cheat on her with a lot of facchina. Well, I was just about to say this. If I was younger, I'd be like, he's cheating on her, but that was an adult. I'm like, but he's not cheating on her. Like in the movie he is, like when he's like, Yeah, I shagger, because in his world,

you can be promiscuous like that in the, you know, swinging 60s or whatever. Right. I feel like we've come back around to that as long as you commit it. Absolutely. Man, just, I'm so glad that it's like a fog of war, but it's a fog of horniness. I'm so glad that's lifted.

I, it was too much. It was just too all encompassing. Are you talking about your pubescent? Yeah, just like around this. time was so challenging to like exist. I think it sounds kind of not fun, but kind of interesting to be so. I was always fascinated by like teen boy horniness because they really, my friends described it in a way that really made it sound pretty agonizing.

Yeah, kind of. It's like a lot. It's sort of a lot. That's what was crazy about these movies too because it's like people would be watching these movies with like their family. That's what I remember. I think I was. watched this at least with my mom.

And it is so funny. And I think we were like, this is really funny. But then obviously just like all of the sex stuff is just like, oh, God, kill me. Right. Yeah, I bet. But also like rent this later from one cluster. Yeah, all the time. It was like every movie had to have some uncomfortable thing on movie watch night. I don't think that's true. And I think maybe that's why the

that's part of the instinct, I think, of this newer generation. Yeah, the FemBots. That's this new generation. I think has been like, can we just get it out of the... I want to just watch a movie with my parents not want to like throw up. Right. Wait, was Dr. Evil also from 1967 and he was also frozen?

I don't think he was froze. He went into space. Did that like, did they explain it because of that? I don't know. He definitely was from the past because that was why they made Seth Green. They froze his sperm. Okay.

Sorry for the dumb. Yeah, so they're like rivals from the 60s. both in the 90s. Yes. Okay. So that's why the Fembots are in the 60s style. Yes. Yeah.

Fem bots, too. This is, you know, the tit guns and everything. Yeah. And I remember at the time, I think there was a little bit of discourse about the FemBots being problematic, too, you know, because. How so? Even in 97? Well, maybe I'm wrong. I remember it being like...

I didn't remember being like, Mom, Dad. I think the FemBots are gathered. sliding me and they were like, what the fuck? Not like that. But I think that maybe it was just, maybe it was just some discussion. I remember people being like their nipples turn into guns is. Yeah, that's super cool. Wow, how cool is that?

I can't even find the problem. So I don't, maybe I'm wrong. I can't even, I couldn't even give you like a feminist text for why their nipples turning in the hands is bad. I remember no one having an issue with this or pretty much anything. You know what? people had an issue with South Park.

People had an issue with kids saying dirty words in cartoons and that kind of thing. Yeah, because that was there was a lot of panic around the South Park movie. Well,

and that was the thing about the 90s, right? A lot of the panic, I think if there was any kind of like hemming and hawing about Austin Powers, it was just, it was so misplaced

because it was just about the idea of sex in general. It was like, I feel like there was a lot of kind of like, maybe like, misplaced, kind of second-wavish feminism of like

this is objectifying women that was direct. I was thinking about this recently because we've been playing the Barbie girl like the original Barbie girl song so much for the kids. And I remember that was very controversial. And it was like, this is so dehumanizing. You know, you can touch, you can play,

you can say I'm always yours. The moral panic always exists around the concept of indoctrinating children just as much back then as it is now. It's more now. It's more honestly because people are afraid that we're all trying to force children to watch drag queens perform so that they'll become gay and trans as if that's a thing at all.

Sorry, he's talking about carnies and nomads and how he's scared of them. And how nomads have small hands. Yeah, he hates carnies and nomads. It's all the little, that's the thing with Austin Bowers. It's not like the bigger moments that you remember from the trailers and stuff. It's all the little jokes that fill it out that make it so fun. Totally. They're so, like, impressive.

There's so many weird jokes in it. And that's kind of what made Wayne's world work. You know, why did they come to me to die? Why did they come to me to die? It's like all these, it's all the stuff that's like outside of the big moments that are just, you're just so happy. That's what, why Barbin stars so great. You're just like, wow, I can't believe they, like, let that be in the movie. Like, I can't believe they like.

This is your scene. Here it is. She's a tag. The only one. Touch a mother, it's a man, baby. It's a man, baby. Why won't this wig come off? It's just rich.

You got an old woman's hair. It's so funny. But also you're right because you're so right about what you said before because like I thought that they were, I thought it was more like not nice, not holding up jokes that. But it's actually it's absurdity. It's all absurd. It's totally fine. Yeah, it's also like it's spy humor.

Like it really, like, it's funny. humor. It has nothing to do with gender identity. It's all about. There's no trans joke underlying that she's a man baby. I'm surprised by that because I thought, I thought that this was going to be another American pie where we're like, oh, that's, well, there's that one scene. You know where they did it in, uh, they did it in naked gun too as well with the guy in the

wheelchair and the, I, well, naked gun. The birth mark of Whistler's mother and the whole thing, like, and that whole thing where they just like torture that guy because he thinks he has the wrong. right guy. Yeah. Okay, so this is the monologue. This is your scene that you love Holden. Yeah, yeah.

Once we get to it. Is that Carrie Fisher? Yeah, it's Carrie Fisher. This is just so funny that he's in a like, you know. Like an elementary school classroom. Hello, Dr. Evil. In an elementary school classroom doing like a group council with fathers and their sons. You would never think, you would never really think.

I mean, Seth Green is. so funny in this movie. Yeah, Seth Green is funny in this movie. He kills it. By the way, mini-me? Not till the sequel. Right. Forgot about mini-me.

He's going to take over the world when I die. I like animals. An evil vet. An evil vet. An evil petting zoo Oh man so this is like So funny that it's This dynamic is such a funny choice

And you would never have like In the genre of action Of like comedy before this like Let's say like hot shots or something like that This would be way wackier The fact instead that they're like No no let's Let's force him to have like a real moment with his son

Right It's such a good choice All right. But I think this really opened up the door for, for, what's his name, Seth Green to play and can't hardly win to. Yeah, yeah. All right, here it is. Here's the modelogue.

We're hearing about his childhood. It's going to get quiet for a second. The lingerie owner. It's just for buggerie. He webbed feet. He invented the question mark. He kissed chest. That's not to be lazy.

General Belize. Genius was a little saint limit. Luge lessons. Meat helmets. Pretty standard. Just everyone look up the Dr. Evil monologue. We have to stop. There's nothing like a shorn strolling.

Did everyone look up? So all of this happens in Vegas? Yeah. This is all done in Vegas? Look up the Dr. Evil monologue. It's one of the funniest comedy monologues. That's amazing. I wish that I knew about it.

I would have done it in like an acting. He accused chestnuts of being lazy. The general belies that the genius possesses the insane limits. So funny. Shagoo rock, right? So this is him being like, yeah, what's wrong with it? I fucked it. But he doesn't know because, yeah, it's the swinging for him.

He's coming out of the swing. in 60s when everybody was just banging and it was fine. And no protection. Only sailors use condoms. It's such a funny monologue. That is like, that is one of the greatest comedy monologues in my opinion. And it comes out of nowhere.

I love how like random that scene is. You never would think he'd be like in group counseling with his son. all that shit is what made this movie pop for me when I was younger. Like that's just so surprising and weird. Also, this scene between him and Elizabeth Hurley is really good where he's like, she's like saying like you have to get with it. And he's like, but she didn't mean anything to me. I think he literally goes and like watches a bunch of like news reports.

You'll be very lonely. And then yeah, he tries to catch up. I forgot about it. Yeah. He's got to catch up with the world. It's a cool car, though, the British flag. Am I going to listen to the Austin Powers? The Austin Power soundtrack is very good.

It is a good soundtrack. Oh, my God. And that American... I'm driving to Vegas alone, so I'm going to need something to, like... American Woman and the... Oh, that music video with Heather Graham. Oh.

Yeah. You're just thinking about your penis. Seriously, dude. I'm glad it actually is kind of early in the morning where my penis is a little more sleepier in the morning. because like I'm not getting... Did you already waggle out your morning? No, no, no, yeah, I don't have any kind of...

I have a sleepy time for it. So it's very much in hibernation right now just to make you guys aware that I'm not actually getting aroused during that process. He puts the CD on the regular player. Yeah, it's not happening. He puts the CD on the turntable.

I forgot about that day. This is such a great... The pump. He is such a funny... Oh, I miss Pump. I miss the pump. I miss the pump. Dude, those got to come back, dude.

The pump is great. They've come back already. They did kind of come back and they've already kind of gone away. I'm having a sneeze attack. Sneez attack. Sneezed attack. The moon landing. Yeah, all the tab cans.

God. So yeah, now Austin Powers catching up with the modern world watching the fall of the Berlin Wall. Now I'm having this big realization about how much shit in the 90s I was told. was sexist, but really was just sexual. And there was like a conflation of things being sexual with things. Ooh, like this. Like I said, like, I think the, I remember thinking the fembots were sexist because, like, their nipples turned into guns.

And on this show, as I'm trying to talk about it, I'm like, what makes that sexist? Why? What makes that sexist? It was the women. Is it because of their outfits? Yeah. But again, but this is just like the Barbie Girl song, I keep listening to it and being like, obviously, yes.

like, you know, you can touch, you can play, you can say I'm always yours, but the panic around that song in the 90s. And really, it's fine, it's fucking Barbie. It's a woman singing, yeah, like, play with me. Like, it's fine. There's actually, like, I keep being like, yes, even if you take the sexual reading of this song,

obviously it's not, the subtext of it isn't for kids, but it's not bad that she's like, but there was so much objectifying was the way. She's giving consent. You can touch, you can play. It just goes to show how, like, this kind of outrage, it's not, it's not newly, completely nonsensical. It's completely been the case forever. Like, moral outrage is always the weirdest, like, just simplest go-to. It's just,

it's the same as going like, Bud Light. That'll solve our problem. All you have to do is stop drinking Bud Light. That'll really show them. And I think also, I was a kid in the 90s, right? So I think there was an idea that was like anything that was sexual was bad. But also, that wasn't just because I was a kid. I think it was actually because it was the 90s. Like actually, there was anything sexual had this like inherent power. I was terrified of like that stuff at a certain age. Like pre this, I would have been mortified at a movie like this. He's slowly got to run over him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good bit. Good bit. He was like 20 feet away. Now the bit, the really good bit where he has to turn around in the hallway is coming. Or he's got to turn around in the hallway. Yeah, that guy did some terrible things in his life. Yeah, man.

So that's the guy that's real life bad? Yeah, the guy that plays the who throws a shoe guy. At least he's not the most like in this movie, you know, guy. He's not like, it's not too, two, two, too egregious. I was never a bond person. So all of my knowledge at the time during like when this came out, all my knowledge of bond came from the game, Golden Eye.

And everybody always made me be odd job when I played GoldenEye. Yeah, the Golden Eye game really like brought Bond to a whole generation of kids. I mean, the movie too. I mean, that was kind of James Bond's big return. Yeah. But yeah, Elizabeth Hurley in this outfit was iconic. make you on it, baby. His big plan. Yeah, there was a lot of lampooning of this.

There's actually Jackie, a classic Simpsons episode that lampoons the whole Bond thing. That is one of the best Simpsons episodes of all time, people say. Wait, which one, Holden? The one where he ends up working for Scorpio, I think is his name. The whole family moves to this like, idyllic utopia. But in the background, like, James Bond's getting like murdered and like, he's clearly evil, genius. that's like trying to take over the world

but like he's a great boss Homer loves working for him. Yes. It's very funny. Again, so many references in The Simpsons that I was not getting at the time. Uh-huh. Sorry, that was just a visual joke.

He slowly rolls away from the table and then slowly gets rolled back. It's just the Seth, thing is so funny. The question really is, what would be a better movie? Now, we're already obviously doing the Austin Powers, but we were joking a few episodes ago about doing a Legends of the Fall watchalong. And as I'm realizing that so much of Austin Powers watch along, it's just us being like,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm wondering, what would be better at this or Legends of the Fall watch along? Yeah, we're going. Just crying. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. That and I was just going,

he's something we know is just, maybe it should be something we know is like not going to, like the good thing about high school musical is like both people love it and it's objectively like ridiculous and dumb. Right. You know what I mean? In retrospect, high school musicals really were the great page seven watch a long. It's the sweet spot because you can cringe at it.

How often do I say bed on it? You can like cringe at it but also respect and enjoy it. weirdly at the same time and like understand the nostalgia of it. And I think the good thing about that is maybe picking stuff that other people are nostalgic for that we're too old for and trying to like understand it. That's the beauty I think at least of high school musical. Yeah, you're right. If it's anything like that, which is why we should watch that Jonas Brothers summer camp

movie. Don't make us. Let's do it. Because we're going to have to do another watchalong for when we go on tour in September. And I don't know if I can handle a Jonas Brothers. Maybe we should put it to a pole or something. Yeah, I mean, there's also other, like, classic. I would love, we could watch something like Old Dogs or something like that, too.

That's just a classically terrible comedy that everyone points to is like, that's good, too, because that has Jontra in it as well. Who's in Old. Old Dogs is a night. Yeah, have you seen it? Oh, I've seen Old Dogs. I would say we should watch, like. Oh, I've seen Old Dogs. I kind of want to watch a musical, but I guess we shouldn't really sing a lot.

for throughout a whole episode. I mean, that could be fun. That could be fun. I don't know. I've been threatening Jeff with lay miss tickets. Oh, boy.

God. Is it coming to L.A.? Yeah, it's coming through. Yeah, it's coming. It's playing, it is currently performing in L.A. And I think I might have. Jackie, you should go.

I saw it in New York. You know, it's obviously like not that rivet. Like, it's like a classic, it's not on Broadway in New York anymore. Oh, I've seen it nine times. Because I know it's like. With the revolving. I know it's the show that everybody can see

whatever, it travels everywhere, but it is so fucking good. And it's so good to see love. It's so good. It's so good. It's so worth seeing love. It's lame mess. But also I think we might have to watch

old dogs next because I have seen old dogs before and it ruined me. I've never seen old dogs. Also, what's the musical movie that's truly terrible? That's like two people's names from that era of Disney that's like not esteemed.

It's called like Christine and something. I don't know. I'll have to look it up. I mean, I think maybe we do that next. We watch like stuff people know is bad. Like how did this get made level stuff? Yeah. Yeah, because what we've been doing lately

is watching things that we think will be bad and they turn out to be good. Well, I knew Austin Powers is very, and American Pie. I was championing all of it. I could believe how good American Pie ended up being. And I knew Austin Powers was good.

It's more just that I don't, I'm having. more of a just nostalgia journey. I wasn't sure. I got a whole bag of shush with your name on it. I got a bad shush with your name on it. How many times did I say that from 1997 to 2000? Plan to soil myself.

He'll regroup and come up with the new plan. He does that. The British thing. When is that going to get canceled? the whole British people have bad teeth thing. I'm pretty sure it's already. It's been canceled. Not canceled.

But I think it's just, I think it also is just like, there's no need. It's weirdly, uh, it can be, yeah, I've, you know, there's some accuracy there.

Dental floss. That would hurt his hands. Uh, yeah, he gets his face eating off by the, wait, does, do we get a decapitated head for this? Can we watch something sexy next? Yeah.

Decapitated head. Yeah. What, like nine and a half weeks? We could watch showgirls. I know what you did last summer. I've never seen, I've never seen showgirls. Oh my God. Showgirls, anything.

Oh, we could do showgirls. Any Paul Girl in a movie would be fun actually, but showgirls is insane. I watched it within the last 10 years and it is one of the craziest movies ever seen my life. That species would be fun. Remember species? Oh, I remember species.

All right, here we go. MJ's favorite. Yeah. In coming. I just remember weeping with laughter during this bit as a sixth grader. All he had to do is reverse out of there, but he did not think ahead, did he, MJ? But he's so sweet. Oh, the Italian lady was so hot.

He apologizes. Yeah. Yeah, Elizabeth Hurley. So, oh, my God, yeah. That was the whole thing. and then we get Heather Graham and the, oh, and the second one, dude, and you're just like, what is happening?

Behave. She was 32. And then Beyonce's, Beyonce's is a third. Yeah, 301 sucks ass though, dude. It's like unwatchable. Yeah. Oh, dang. She was 32, by the way, Elizabeth Hurley.

Isn't it weird that that is younger than all of us by a lot? We're old. It's upsetting. We're old now. Don't remind me. I just had a. birthday M.J. Okay, I know I'm old.

But don't miss this bit, Jay. Yeah, look at him going. You can't get around. He can't get out of the hallway. Very good. Solid bit. That's such, like, cute, wholesome. It's just so pure.

Yeah, it's like the chair sliding back. It just, it's, it's a lot of silly. That's my favorite Mike Myers stuff, you know, just like the absolutely stupid site gags, you know. I might as the weirdly dark stuff Like the monologue and the Why did they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die

The whole head hair is or what's his name? Oh, how did he get it like that? I understand I've been there. I parallel park in Los Angeles. Oh, I've been there before. It's the commitment to it, you know? Yes. Absolutely.

Absolutely. The fact that the warhead looks like a big cock you know. And I'm sad because I missed it, but apparently Joy Ride is a movie that came out this year that is like a fun summer romp movie that we miss that apparently is great.

And I'm sad I missed it in the movie theater so I'm waiting for it to pop back out. I would love to watch. What's the movie where Alicia Silverstone gets finger blasted on the roller coaster? Is that crush? Was it crush or fear? Was it fear?

Oh, it's fear, it's fear, it's fear. I would watch any of the trashy Alicia Silverstone vehicles, honestly. They were all sexy and so bad. Yes. So do you think that Heather Graham was like birthed after, like, did Heather Graham run after the Fembot's walk? A little bit. I just remember she was also, I fell in love with her in swingers. Yeah.

She was the chick at the end. And boogie. Well, oh my God. I can close my eyes. Remember the part where she gives the Roller Scape blowjob in the very beginning with the... Don't even. That movie's so weird that. Talk about a weird boner.

I mean, that movie is just full of just stuff that makes you upset for having a boner. Like, he's trying so hard. Yeah. Baseball cold showers. Margaret Hatcher naked on a cold day. Naked on a cold day. Absolutely. Whoa.

Elizabeth Hurley looks very good. I mean, I don't know if she's ever, except for maybe bedazzled as she'd been hotter in a movie. And she's still rocking it, man. She's still just like, yep, I'm hot. I'm older and hot. But she had a weird career trajectory too. Ha ha! He's using his butt magic.

He's using his sexuality to short circuit the fembots. This is amazing! I don't know anything about this scene. Maybe the fembots were considered sexist because they were literally robot women. Yeah, sure, but, you know, I think it was more about how, like, easy men are to... Yeah, you're totally right. I'm just, I'm shocked by how... I'm realizing I had these, like, thoughts.

about this movie that were like, sex is bad in my head, and I think it was just the 90s, you know? Totally. Yeah, absolutely. It's like reawakening the internalized shame I had about sex. Yes.

The 90s really weaponized sex. After like the freedom of like the 70s and the 80s, I feel that, and this is of course coming from someone that was born in 1987, so I'm not, you know, I can't speak so much for the 70s and 80s in like examples. But it seemed like growing up in the 90s that sex was weaponized where you were either, it is a shameful thing to use. Right.

Yes. It was inherently shameful. This keeps the trend going, though, that we got, you know, all through Anchorman, even and everything of like all the guys can be gross and disgusting. The King of Queens phenomenon of like. Yeah, but like the women are all tens. But also welcome to Roundtable of Gentlemen, which is like, not to bring that up, but like, why do you think I acted the way that I did, which is not okay,

but in our old show round table, gentlemen, I was like, I'm going to be the grossest of all of them and say the worst things I can think. But a lot of those pros doing comedy shows does have the token, like, just hot girl, you know what I mean, kind of thing. And that's, well, I wasn't the token. That's what I'm saying, like, you were playing, like, on the level as opposed to being like, guys, come. Right. Right. Yeah. No, it was like. What if I intensified it instead? Yes. Yeah, guys.

So it was all a reaction to what was happening. Not that it was okay. Yeah, I think it was great. I think it was great, Jackie. I still think it's very funny. Yeah, there was no real like, I guess in this movie, Elizabeth Hurley gets to be sexy

and like a good character and the fembots are literally robots. But yeah, in the 90s, there was just no sense that like sex could be good in movies. You know, it was just like, it was just, there was so much, and so much of it was kind of wrapped in a like caring about girls thing of like, oh, this is just not a positive portrayal of women, but actually it was mostly just reactionary, like, you know, um, stigma around sex.

Open the freaking door. Open the freaking door. I think Dr. Evil is the reason I say freaking so much. I still love to say freaking. I think it's hilarious. He made it funny. You really did. Frick.

Oh, Holden hates. Oh, yeah. So you can't. I say it depends on how you say it. If you're saying it like in a doctor evil way, it's funny. But yeah, if you're saying it and we're all adults and there's no children around and you're just saying it to like not say the word fuck, then yeah, I judge hard. I judge really hard. I'm like, oh, what are we fucking 10?

He did it. I want chicken. and I want liver. Meow me, I'm excused the liver. It's so funny. I'm telling you, Dr. E, it's a total Ryan Gosling and Barbie. Dr. Evil steals this movie.

He's the funniest part of the movie. And, you know, that was what was kind of deceptive going in was I think you thought it was going to be like Austin Powers' movie, but really it was a nice, even split between the two characters. And then, you know, many me,

I mean, come on. That was like the biggest, You know. Yeah. Is that in the second? Do we watch the second off the hours or is that iconic? I don't know. I think we wait and see what the listeners feel about this one.

Because the second one is good. We definitely spend a decent amount of time watching while watching this talking about what other movies we should be watching in the future. I'm just, it's so hard to find. I think we should all get together to watch. It's great. I would love to watch it again. I would totally watch it.

It's tough. It's tough to find, I'm realizing the formula for a watch along. Maybe we do a stream. Maybe we do a stream of watching Austin Powers. Yeah, because people want to weigh in and talk. Yeah. And I want to hear other people's experience for like watching Austin Powers for the first time. And in fact, on Patreon, pop in, when was the first time you watched Austin Powers?

How did it, did it like affect you in the way that it affected both holding? Yeah. Well, definitely like, Austin Powers 2 was like opening weekend. I think the first Austin Powers I had to be told by my buddy. Kill the little bass. to be told, like, this is actually really fucking funny. And then I went, I'm pretty sure I still also saw it in the theater, though. But I can't remember.

I wish I was never officially. And again, Seth Green just really, like, really is a standout in this. I'm just badly burned. I'm not dead. Whoa, double turn? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a Bond movie.

Rob Lowe is in number two, too. Yes. Not just number two. Austin Powers number two. He plays young number two, I think. Oh. So funny. I've had enough of you pushing me around.

Like pretty much every moment in this movie has at least one moment or line that is like a standout quotable. Every scene for sure. That is such a good job. with that. And that's kind of the deal with Wayne's World as well. And really at this point, Mike Myers could do no wrong in his career, which is crazy because how far we've come, you know. So what? I feel like I'd love to do. Have you done a Mike Myers episode yet? I mean,

I would just say, you know, love guru really kind of, was there anything after? I mean, Osamares three, everyone was like, we're over it, bro. Like, that kind of made everybody go. Like, I think I'm good. And then I think the next. thing after that was Love Guru, which just bombed. So hard. It bombed so hard. You know,

it's great, so I married an axe murderer. No, he did have Shrek. But he did have Shrek, but Shrek is like... Shrek is a different beast, isn't it? Yeah, it's like not Mike Myers' his comedy career, you know? Oh, God, also, didn't he do

Cat in the Hat, which is a massive bomb? Yeah, he did Cat in the Hat. So it was gold member and then Shrek. And it was kind of one of those, I feel like, where it's like if you're making that Shrek money coming off of Austin Powers, and then you have a bomb in the movie theater, like Love Guru, which bombed so hard.

I forgot he was in Mystery, Alaska. I loved that movie, but I was also a big Russell Crow fan because of Gladiator, so, you know. Yeah, he essentially stopped doing any kind of silly comedy after the Love Guru and only did like, Shrek stuff and like Inglorious bastards or

you know. Oh, interesting. Uh, Bohemian Rhapsody. Like, he only does these kind of smaller parts now in like prestige movies. And he was in Amsterdam. Yeah, he didn't need to. Yeah, he didn't need to.

And Love Guru was probably so, like for Love... Ah! I don't get the same joke, but for tits. But with brass. But Love Guru, he really worked really hard on that character. Like, he was doing a bunch of like,

He was doing a bunch of stuff like in New York like in live like poppin stuff as the character I mean he workshopped that character really hard Oh man you know And then it just super bombed

And I think after that it's like Why don't I just like have money And only do like smaller thing Whatever I want Just being like Tarantino movies Because I've earned that respect And everything too you know So how does this make you feel

Hold on these pouring the milk out of her boobs? This is huge for sure Yeah, with her just naked. But as a milkman. I think it's honestly, her at the very beginning of two is probably the hot peak, Hurley in these movies.

She is so hot. She's wearing, like, lingerie. I remember a dude in the movie theater was like, God damn. Like, literally. That was, because she, spoiler alert, she ends up, like, being a femme bot. That's how they, like, get rid of her

in the sequel. What? And that's how they get, Heather Graham in there. Big spoiler alert. Wait, she was a Fembot this whole time? I forget how they do it. I forget how they do it.

I mean, who throws his shoe? Here we go. That guy's done horrible things. Oh, no. That's done horrible things. That really hurt. Who throws a shoe? Who throws a shoe?

Who throws a shoe is like as quotable to be as you're a man. She's a man baby. And by the way, we're the end of this movie. I mean, like, it's crazy we get, like, one of the most iconic lines from it, like, at this point. I can't... This movie is amazing. It's a good movie.

I can't believe who throws a shoe also predated by, like, six years, the actual throwing of shoes at the American president, George W. Bush. You're right. Totally. Even though the shoe throwing thing is a normal thing, right? Culturally, I believe... Yeah, right. There was a frame of reference.

Yeah, that's a shoe-wis- was not an Austin Powers reference. But wouldn't that have been fun if it was? That's just a thing they would do. Oh, wouldn't have been silly. Disgust. Which is true. It's the ultimate insult throwing a shoe.

Yeah, my brain has conflated the throwing of shoes at George W. Bush with Austin Powers. I mean, he throws a shoe. That's just meme culture for you, MJ. Just taking two things and slapping them together. What's that big star? Yeah.

Uh-oh. It's big boy. He survived. Oh my God, dude. Frick of freezing, get here. Mr. Bigglesworth. Oh, no. Mr. Bigglesworth.

That cat is dead. That cat has died. That cat's hard is stopped at the very... That's how it is? Well, yeah, it opened up for a sequel, which is very smart. And then what did the sequel come out? Very soon after, didn't it? Yeah.

Whoa. I am impressed. I can realize it ended like that. 1999 was the sequel. Yeah, two years later. And I remember the hype around it was huge. I can't believe it. The sequel is good.

There's so, okay. There are so many of these movies that you, you watch these comedy classics that sometimes there are like swaths of time in it where you're like, like, Caddyshack, right? It's a great example of like, Caddyshack has such, but that's also comedies from the 70s. Like if you watch like a National Ampoon vacation,

there's so much time where like, jokes aren't happening. And that was, that was what was so great about comedies during this time. Tommy Boy, Austin Powers, dumb and dumber. Like the, the joke real estate was so hot and heavy and just a laugh a minute. Yeah. And just you love it for that. Like, yeah, it's true. The National Lampoon movies are much slower. I miss, well, yeah, I mean, everything in general was much slower. You know, I was bitching about this was screen time for Winnie. I was like, I wonder what our screen time was like when we were young. And Lexi brought up the good point of like, well, think about like the entertainment back then. It was so slow and like less stimulating.

Boring and yeah, just less stimulating. And so like it was, you know, less of an issue. But now it's like they've scientists have learned how to like suck every bit of dopamine out of a child within an hour's time frame. That's true. Crazy. Absolutely. How do you feel, Jackie? This was so.

It was so entertaining. I'm so happy that I watched it. In fact, honestly, there's so many of these movies that I watched, like American Pie, where like I knew all of the big things that happened in the movie. This movie, I didn't. It's all the little jokes. Yes, because I've absorbed so much through cultural osmosis, but there's so many moments that I didn't realize how much I would enjoy.

And you know what? Thank you both for giving me this opportunity. because when the fuck was I going to sit and watch Austin Bowers? And I hope for those of you at home that are also listening in, I hope you sat and watched Austin Bowers because what a delight. It's fun. It really does hold up. I'm surprised, once again, surprised by how well it holds up and how much it brings up stuff

for me about how I thought the things were bad actually aren't bad, like all the sexuality stuff, you know? Yeah. It's fine. He's totally not a bad guy. He's just a sexy guy. A good post credits, by the way. Very good post credits.

Well, that's the kind of thing where even I have I even have to make an admission. Like, I struggle a little bit with like, what about Bobbed? Like, because I struggle with comedies where the central gimmick is the main, the character, the main comic relief is annoying as shit. You know what I mean? Like, oh, what about Bob? I know what about Bob is.

Not to be like this. It fucking totally holds up. It's always hard for me to get down with comedies like that. And yeah, this, this is. is not that, right? Like, it's not about being annoying. But also, what about my whole thing is about being annoying? There's also, you think about it, especially, oh, this is something.

In the 90s, so many of these movies would have a moment where it got, like, real. And, like, and there's none of that in Austin Powers. Because, like, where, like, even in the moment where, like, they're making fun of those moments, which is your favorite part, Holden, in the scene with the father and son. They still don't make it genuine. It's still very funny. That's all true.

And there's still some really nice, emotionally honest moments in there. Like his conversation with Elizabeth Hurley about like becoming a one woman man and like, but it doesn't take it too far where you're just like, all right. It's not like a full house moment. It's a really good blend of having a,

just injecting just a little bit of heart into it. And mostly it's just totally absurdist. Totally. And that's what I miss. I miss absurdist. That's why Barb and Star, I'll always give it the big recognition. I still haven't seen Barb and Star.

I gotta see it. It's like the only movie that's come out in the last few years that models this comedy style. Yeah. Honestly, surprise Gideon and pop it on. It's just, I've seen it three times. It's so silly. And what movie, like comedy have you seen three times? Yeah.

It's so great. You know what I mean? It's so silly. Yes, there's like just enough heart. injected in it to make it work. So many people recommended it to me during the pandemic, too, of being like, this is the saddest time ever and this is just a movie about joy and, like, friendship. Just a movie about silly.

And it's fun to see, too, like, it be held by two women, you know, because even, like, bridesmaids was great, but this is, like, dumb and dumber with two women, you know? And I, you know, whereas, like, bridesmaids, it's almost more like a Tommy boy, but with women, right? Like it just is absurd characters, big, broad characters, you know, pun intended, which is a lot of fun. Well, all right. That there does it. Thank you guys so much for joining us.

We miss you so much. We're going to be back very soon. Absolutely. And thank you so much for joining us on this like summer fun episode of page seven. Yeah. I'm ready to start my day now. What a good. I'm ready to get into it now.

I'm a little drunk. This is great. It's before news. So, you know. As you should. As you should. Yes. All right.

Have a good one. Everybody. Thanks again for joining us. I mean, hey, throughout this whole year, we've got more for you after the break. And appreciate y'all. We'll be back soon. Yes. Definitely check out Twitch.tv.

forward slash last podcast network. You can get older episodes that we've already been doing, plus our new stuff. And also, don't forget lastpodnetwork.com. Get your release the butthole cut tour tickets. we've still got some dates left and we can't wait to meet you guys. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. Thank you, Holden. Thank you, MJ.

And hell, we'll see you soon. All right. Take care of y'all. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.