Page 7 - CelebReadies: Hilaria Baldwin's MANUEL NOT INCLUDED

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!!This is a one and done, guys. Absolutely no need to spend more than one episode on this book. What can we say here that we haven't already screamed about.... man oh man. Man oh MANUEL. This book.Enjoy the ramblings of Jackie and MJ as they go through this 8 chapter... experience.Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Take a look. It's in a book. It's celebrities. Celebrities. Celebrities. Celebrities. And it's not going to be a celebriele's this week, or is it? Not quite sure. I know that I'm just, oh, baby, all that I have pulled up right now is a picture of I, Baldwin, staring down the barrel of the camera right into my eyes. And she's asking me, do you come here to charge me? And the answer, Ilaria is C. See, I spent a lot of time in the Hilaria Baldwin subreddit, by the way.

And I'm just here to say, man, you Reddit people, something you all are just as crazy as she is. But we'll get into it because there's a lot of theories. But also, God bless them because they do great work over at the Hilaria Baldwin subreddit, but also some of them are crazy. Yes. But, you know who's- I mean, we are crazy.

The fact that we talk about Eladia Baldwin, I forget that most people don't. I know. And I know that this is, and I want for any of you that are like, oh, I'm kind of sick of the Eladia Baldwin discourse, don't worry. She's going to go back into her non-Spanish obscurity. for a while very soon. This is just because of the reality show. And obviously the reality show was all to set up the sale of her book.

And no matter how much she protested throughout this book, she has set up all of this. Yes. She is not a victim. No. And yes, that's a good, let's start right off. the top. Maybe you, the listener, are like, you guys, enough already with the hilaria. And to which I say, I agree. Okay, but it's her world and we're lucky to be living in it. She is in the press right now

because of the book release, even though the book is not selling well. And yes, we have talked a lot about her grift. We've been talking about it since 2020 when the grift was exposed as a grift. And hopefully this will be the final nail on the coffin. I don't think we'll stop talking about her forever, but I hope to not give as much brain space to her as I have been, admittedly, but she consumes me. She is a fascinating and terrible person. This is our first book we've read. That's bad.

It's going to be a one and done also, guys. Don't worry. Don't worry yet. This is the only week on it, for sure. And so you know what? If you don't want to hear it, we'll see you next week. We'll be back next week, we promise. What a delight to read good books.

Brittany's book? Great. Heather Begay's book, great. Julia Fox's book, by far the best book we've read so far for celebrity memoirs. This book... May I recommend this book? The only reason I would recommend Manuel not included is if you are, like I am, in the middle of a great grief of your life, and if you want to put all of your hate,

all of your upset towards the universe, if you need to place it towards a person that is a stranger to you, that it's only going to be inside your brain, or as you pace around your home, yelling questions to no one into the ether about why this woman has the platform that she has. In fact, can I just read this little, someone posted on the Reddit

a short and sweet review of the book. The title is, can I get a refund? And the review is, the book reads as an inner dialogue of a mad person. There is no clear direction except for excuses for a false narrative. Yes. And I put all my rage at the world into the way that this book was written. Yes, and read. and why it was,

and why it was read the way it was, and why. As an audiobook, professional audiobook reader, I know that you, like, really hear how, you've talked before about how well, like, how well, what's her name, Michelle Williams did Britney's book, how well Heather Gay did for being an amateur, how well Julia Fox did.

And the first thing I thought when I started listening to this book, which is read by the author, I was like, oh, Jackie's going to hate this. She's going to hate it. And no, we're not making fun of her dyslexia, okay? Everything is not about how your brain works. And don't worry, we'll talk about how her brain works. But she is a professional at weaponizing language around neurodiversity and making it such that that means you are never allowed to criticize her.

And that is not how those things work. I believe her that she has ADHD and I believe her that she has dyslexia. And I believe that that would make reading an audiobook challenge. So that's just valid, right? That is just not why she's annoying. That's not why anyone is upset with her. That's not why she's being criticized. And the entire book is an exercise in being like,

you think that I shouldn't have said I'm from Spain. Well, you're a sexist and you're ablest. That's saved you the book. You don't need to read the book anymore. Thank you, MJ. That is exactly this book. I've never read a book filled with excuses before. The entire book is an excuse.

That's all it is. Every single thing. And I feel like she gave the Reddit exactly what the Reddit has always craved. Yeah. Which was her going moment by moment because here's the thing, guys. This I, okay, let me start at the beginning. I wanted to read this memoir. Obviously, we were going to be making fun of it.

But part of me was like, okay, what if we read this memoir, it gets into her like, putting into the hustle and creating the business that she created, how she got to the place that she got to before, like who she was before, Alec, who she is as a human being. I thought maybe there was a chance that that's what this book would be. Because I am curious when she talks about, she built a whole, you know, yoga studio,

like people knew who she was in the world of health. Like, that is while, I mean, let's be real, while I don't really care, I would find it interesting of how she did it. I was like, okay. And not only that, I know people who knew her from that time who vouched for her. And they're like, she was a good yoga teacher. She was like a nice girl, you know. But those people from that time period know Hillary Lynn Thomas who comes from a lot of money. Quite wealthy.

Of course, that it does, I'm going to assume, I don't know because that is not in the book at all, because this book is only about how she's definitely Spanish, but she never says she's Spanish because she literally cannot say that she is Spanish. Yes. Because she's not. There's eight chapters in the book, and she spends the first chapter about how she's being like, everyone said that I am not from Spain. and why did they say that they're so mean? And I thought, okay, good, we're done with that part. And now on to the parenting, I guess, because it is called Manual Not Included,

which you assume means it's a parenting thing. And then she just proceeds to, she spends, I think, two chapters on parenting. And then the rest of the chapters, we just go back to, I'm actually, everyone's mean to me because I'm from Spain. Because I'm from Spain. Because have you, oh, I'm sorry,

have you never forgotten a word before? How many times did she say, have you never forgot? Like, she is trying. This also, so much of this book is like, you think that I am like, oh, I'm not high and mighty. I'm just a parent. I'm just a mom. Just like you. I'm just a mom.

And you're not. The parenting stuff, we could do a whole different episode on because the way she's- Did you like it? No, I need to ask. Of course not. As a parent, as a parent. And you read parent books. You read parent-centric things a lot.

I read constantly. I'm always reading a parenting book. You said that there was only two chapters in this book about parenting. And I was just like who I got to a point that I was like, do parents care about this individual information about what each, like, there was many pages on her being like, I wanted to do only give or. organic to my children, but sometimes they had to go to a child's party and then they didn't. And then you'll realize Manuel not included. Oh my God. Sometimes they don't eat organic.

I'm just like the other mom. She is trying so, like never, it's like her entire existence is just a response to reading the comments. And I get it. Yeah. It must be really shitty to have people making fun of you online all the time. Jackie and I have both experienced this. We can vouch to.

nice to read mean comments about yourself. So I understand. Yes. I understand. And I truly, especially after having read, you know, both, we just read Julia Fox, we read Brittany. So thinking about how the public perceives you and how the public treatment of you can really fuck you up, right? And like, there's no question that Hilaria from the time she started dating Alec Baldwin, she has had a lot of intense experiences with the paparazzi.

And so, like, I, there is, I really honestly wanted to go into this book, giving her some grace about, like, it must really suck. But the entire book is her trying to make the people who hate her online like her. And the thing is, hilarious, they're never going to like you. And you can't, like, tie yourself into knots to try to make them like you. Like, again, I have read so many negative comments about myself. I try to search them and think, is there any kernel of truth in this mean comment that I should take and for self-improvement? Sometimes there is. And I like to think that I have, like, grown from negative feedback I've gotten over the years.

And but what she is doing is, like, she's so obviously, like, a mom who, for example, would never let her kids eat cupcakes. And then she, like, got called out on it at a party once. And so now in the book, she's like, everything in moderation. You can't, you're damned if you do it. You're damned if you don't. And of course, I let my kids eat cupcakes, but it's sexist when people are mad at me that I say that I don't. But also it's sexist if I do. Like, and it is true that in parent, like, that if you're a mom, you are damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

And like, yeah, you get called an almond mom if you're healthy and you get called a neglectful mom if you let your kids eat whatever. And so she, again, she's trying to do this thing where she's like, aren't I so sympathetic? but the entire book is this exercise and trying to tell sympathetic stories that are like, and then my driver had to run away from, my driver, you know, was in traffic and the nanny was in traffic.

And so it's like she's trying to be like, aren't we all, isn't it so hard to be a mom? Well, she is relaying these incredibly unrelatable things about her life. But she's so desperate to make people like her. And again, I get it. I also. want people to like me. Of course.

But you married Alec Baldwin. And so there are paparra- and I'm not saying you deserve the paparazzi. Brittany Spears didn't deserve the paparazzi and she was Britney Spears. But she seems to be like, why do- But she set it up to make it all about her. Yeah, yes. Like that's a thing. Yeah, totally.

For someone to say that like, it's like, but like I never wanted any of this. I never wanted any of this. Right. And yet every single stunt. to keep the paparazzi from Alec was her being slutty out on the sidewalk. It's not about her marrying Alec Baldwin. It's about her own choices.

It is about, it is her choosing to do everything, but she wants everything. It's about everything happened to her and that she's a victim of all of everything. Meanwhile, she talks so much game about never fitting in, about being always different, because she speaks Spanish as well? What are you talking about?

You come from a lot of wealth, from a very wealthy society, that you grew up privileged enough to go back and forth and to visit your home, one of the homes that your family has in Spain. Vacation home, by the way. She never went to school in Spain.

Her family moved full-time to Spain. In 2012, she was born in the early 1980s. How did you question? grow up in Spain. And like, if you read... And that she's always talking about how she never fits in. She never fits in because she speaks a different language. When that's not...

I just... And yes. And this is a thing. This is the fundamental grift of the book and of Hilaria is that she... I did an Instagram story about this last week, so forgive me for repeating myself. But it, but this is it. She is trying to pretend that in 2020, when she was canceled, she was canceled because she is bilingual.

And she is, unfortunately, the very funny clip of her saying how you say cucumber is a bit of an excuse for her to be like, see, everyone is making fun of me for being bilingual. And it's normal to forget. Because I have ADHD. And yes, I have, and my brain moves so fast. But like, and so she is just, that is what she decided on was that she would pretend that the cancellation was about her, her forgetting the word cucumber. And that's a normal thing to do if you're switching back and forth between languages. And I am completely, and so that's why I actually going. Which it is. We all, that's, we've established that.

You're right. I don't even really focus on, yes, how you say cucumber is just a funny phrase to be associated with you and your grip for the rest of your life. But absolutely, completely willing to say the fact that you switch back and forth between languages all the time, it makes sense to forget a word. But what it is easy to forget. And I went back and I have a whole video montage. I'm going to send you, Jackie, of page six from when the Baldwin's, from this

year when the Baldwin show started going back. And if you go back to pre-2020 before she was discovered and you listen to the accent, we are not talking, because she still speaks with like an affectation where she is trying to kind of like maybe sound like somebody whose first language isn't English. But when you go back to the interviews, like right after they got married, it is a thick, thick accent. We are not talking about, oh, I'm going back and forth between languages and, you know, Like we are just, we are talking about a woman who is actively pretending to be Spanish.

And there are how many clips there are of Alec Baldwin saying, my wife is from Spain and then literally saying, oh, not to be racist and then doing an accent. Like a racist accent. And so, and she never acknowledges this once in the book. All she keeps saying is I have ADHD. I have dyslexia and the press hates women. I said a word. And I said a word once wrong.

Yes. And like that that's, that exact thing is what she thinks everyone or what she's decided in her brain of what she knows everyone has decided. The cucumber is a red herring. Forget about the cucumber guys. Forget about the suboyas. It is about the, it is about the claim to be from a different country, which then gave her husband carte blanche to go do many media hits doing a funny Spanish accent and seeing he. his wife is from Spain. And again, her doing media hit after media hit in a thick accent. What, how do you explain this? You don't.

That's what you do. You don't. You call everyone a sexist and you call everyone an ablest. And it is truly, I thought you write a book. Like at least if you're going to give us, like I thought, okay, then let's get into the brass tax of it. You want to prove, quote unquote, that you are Spanish, even though I, like I said, she never actually says that she is Spanish because

that is what I was looking out for. I was waiting for her to say it but I did find it interesting that the only thing she did talk about her childhood though was when she would refer to like whenever my mom would talk to me and say, I'll ask you must

and I was like number one I don't think that your mom is talking like that. Number two, I don't think that your mom. Your mom's probably, I would assume your mom still calls you Hillary but that's an assumption I can't. make, but I would assume. She was still Hillary in 2011 when she was teaching at the yoga studio in Lower Manhattan.

The people that have reached out to me that have met her new Hillary. Yeah. New Hillary, like the person without the accent in the fancy schools. And I just kept spending this whole book thinking like, it's actually very cool to be bilingual. You would have such great cultural capital of just being like, I'm a bilingual. I'm an American person. I grew up in a bilingual family, even though none of my family is Spanish.

But I'm raising my children bilingual. That's fucking great. Cool. So cool. Love it. Yes. It is nothing to do with being bilingual. I think it's wonderful.

Everyone should know multiple languages. I know that I am actively stupider for only knowing English. Like, I know that. Yes. And that's why it is always forever and ever. I can't imagine making fun of someone that is speaking English with an accent. Right. in any other aspect because they know a lot fucking more than you do, you idiot.

That's why I've never understood people making fun of someone speaking English with an accent. Except. Except in English is your native language and you're pretending to be from a different country. Except this one time. Your first language, I should say. Like, yes, it is really, like, I just can't emphasize enough how little accountability is taken. Zero. It is crazy because she wants to continue this narrative that she is like above.

I feel like she wants to be like a Martha Stewart where she's like above and, you know, she still has the nannies, but she also wants to be the every woman. Yes. And that every, and I'm just like all of you guys. And I'm specifically bringing up the portion. of time because she speaks so nebulously about her past. She tries to make it. You notice the part where she talks about going to an international school, but she had to take public transportation there?

I was, so the public transportation, how about the time that she didn't know what she was going to do? Because her iPhone went in the dryer and she was like, how do I get a new iPhone? I'm broke. How do I get a new iPhone? And that was a story of, I was just like, what are you taught? So your parents got you an iPhone that you put into a dryer and you're trying to say,

so 15 years ago one time, that might have been difficult for you, you know? But I hate to say this. Was it when you can just go get another iPhone? Like, we didn't hear about the many months she had to work to even go pay the first down payment to get the next one, which has happened to me. Yeah, right. You know, it's like, where is like, I've destroyed a phone before too. Yeah.

But then what did I have to do to go and like change my life to get a second job so that I could go get a phone because I couldn't tell anyone that I had lost my phone? No, it's fascinating how little she tries to give of herself before meeting Alec Baldwin, which, and I said this on the episode with Holden, but she tries, she's like, no one wants to know the real me. But then she's also like, she can't really talk about the real her, I think, because the real her is A, not Spanish, and be very rich. And then she marries Alec Baldwin and she's very rich. And so, yeah, the fact I said.

But also, I'm down to hear that story. Totally. Give me the story where you're like, you're going to Spain, you're coming back. Like, I would read that story. There's nothing, no one's going to hate you out of. because you're rich doesn't mean you don't get to tell your story. It sounds like you did have an interesting. Like, honestly, when she gives these glimpses of like, you know, I grew up,

but we were, you know, having long dinners and the kids were, you know, falling asleep under the table because everyone's just drinking wine and eating Spanish food. I'm like, this sounds nice. I would like to hear more about this, you know. And yeah, like, you married Alec Baldwin, but then, right, it's so much she's, again, all this sympathy that she could get from how she has been treated poorly by the paparazzi is, I think, negated by, it's not like, oh, you married Alec Baldwin, so you get what you get. It's like you married Alec Baldwin and then proceeded to try very blatantly to turn yourself into

a public figure, the amount of, and you know, a real big part of this is her Instagram page. And if you weren't on it at the time, which I wasn't, you kind of, I spent a lot of this past week going back and looking at her old Instagram posts, how much. And again, the defensiveness, because she talks so much in the book about, well, I put my kids' images out there. to try to control the narrative because the press was going to talk about my kids. And I have great sympathy for wanting to protect your kids from the press. I think it's my favorite thing about Alec Baldwin that he keeps screaming at the press when they try to take pictures of his kids. But what she does and did and continues to do, hence the show of the Baldwin's, is put her kids' images out there constantly.

And on Instagram for way before the Hilaria Gryft was exposed, pictures of the kids in very like, you know, kids at home, kids upset, kids in their underwear, like, you know, kids in vulnerable positions that you wouldn't do to an adult, another adult. And I know that we are kind of just getting to the part of the parent online discourse in the last few years where it's like, maybe you shouldn't do that. So on the one hand, I get that in those times, people were putting pictures of their kids online and et cetera. But I think that she spends so much of the book defending her parenting choices. You know, and I really want to have sympathy for how hard it must be to parent in the public

eye, for how hard it must be to be judged as a mother. And again, God bless the Reddit. The Reddit is very funny. Those people are very hung up on the idea that she didn't have any of those kids. And I'm not even going to get into that. That is the craziest part about the Reddit. MJ I was just about to say this. The Reddit is so obsessed.

with the fact that she didn't have all the children. That's not even where we lose our mind. Like, that's not where I'm losing my own. I don't, see, I'm not going to, I'm not going to engage with that. Like, so many of the reviews are telling her she did not have these children. That's not, honestly, what my issue is because I'm not going to, I know nothing about another person, especially that kind of thing. Like, I don't know, nothing. I know I'm sure I've made jokes in the past.

but like there I don't know genuinely like biologically if that can happen I mean you had Irish twins like I feel like it can I guess once yeah she does have them pop in back to back to back to back so yeah I'm not here to judge whether or not she burned those kids I don't but but I but I will I am here to judge what she wrote in the book and I really want to talk if we can go into parent quarter for a second I really want to talk about her I need you I need you okay the way she talks about Paul and the way she talks about surrogacy. Because I know that there's a lot of pressure on people that biologically have children to breastfeed. I know that there's a lot of pressure to not use formula. And I know that the idea of breastfeeding is a large part of the narrative of biologically having a child. I have never done that. And I don't give a fuck about any of it. And I have obviously listened to friends, talk about,

when the milk and the making of the milk and the production and the stopping of the production. And I know that it is a lot of what a person that has biologically had a child has to deal with. I know that. And I imagine it probably drives you mad because it's all you're thinking about. When I was nursing, it was all I could think about. I'm sure. It takes up a lot of brains. It's got to do it all the time.

Yeah, it's a lot. Like, you got to stop. It's always that. And I know that I'm saying this as a childless person. So I just wanted to say positives of like, I understand. Right. What in that capacity. But please, MJ, I'd love to hear how you feel about what Eladia said about.

Because she did talk a lot. The entire chapter two. The best reading of the children. Chapter two, Mom Bus. Four giant freezers full of milk. She ends up with four giant freezers full. This entire, forgive me, people who don't care. I'm going to go on.

No, I'm curious. So that's what I, I'm saying as a childless person, I'm curious from a parent. Do you give a fuck about any of this? And do you think it's all lies? It's all, this, it really, I really had never thought that she didn't have those kids until this chapter. Because I'm like, what are you talking about? Three minutes at a time? She was pumping for three minutes at a time once an hour.

Is that too many or not enough? Not enough. Oh, not enough. I'm sorry, that's a little I know. I'm like, is that bad? It is path. I've never heard of this ever. And I, like, again, I don't need to get into it.

But some people may- Didn't she say that was like the magic of breastfeeding was three minutes an hour? She had, this chapter makes no sense. I had a pre-me, and so I had to start pumping without nursing, and it jacked up my supply. So I only had to pump for like 10 minutes. Most people had pump for 20, 30 minutes, you know, at least 15 minutes at a time. Pumping for three minutes at a time sounds incredibly painful, useless, bizarre, dangerous, like, because you're just getting the letdown and then you're stopping?

You're going to give yourself mastitis. Like, I don't even need to get into like the lactation points, but it just, this is, I've never heard. I've talked to a lot of people about breastfeeding. I've never, ever heard of anyone doing this. Also, even if you did do it, what's the point of including it? like she ends she brags about how she ends by the time she had the last baby she had four giant

freezers full of milk and then she has this quote somebody somebody said what will you do with all that milk and she said and I said they will drink it because I made it and for the most part they have what? What are you talking about? What?

What? What? Four giant freezers full of milk for the most part they have did they what did you do with the rest of it? Did you donate it? Donate it? Also, she talks about bringing her pump with her on outings, which I have pumped on the New York City subway. I have pumped in bathrooms. I have pumped all over the places.

But she talks about bringing her pump with her on family outings, which I was just a little confused about that. Because usually if you're going on a family outing, you have the baby with you. And you don't need to bring the pump because the baby is the pump. But also, this is the most nitpicky point. But Jackie, as a former New Yorker, you'll understand me. If they live in the Upper West or Upper East, we don't know which one, do we? I mean, I would assume the East. Let's assume they live.

Either way, it's an upper. It's either the Upper West or the Upper East. And she says, I brought my pump with me to the Brooklyn. I know where every outlet is in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Why aren't you going to the Bronx Botanic Garden? It's much closer. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. And it's much bigger.

So why are you going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden? That's a complete, it doesn't matter. But as a New Yorker, unless you have a driver, then it doesn't matter. Maybe then it's like if you have a driver in all the nannies. You're right. You are right. Better garden. Are you just not going to the Bronx?

That's my opinion. You speak Spanish. Go to the Bronx. Maybe she's scared to the Bronx. You're going to be a great time. Why are you going to Brooklyn? I mean, speak Spanish in Brooklyn too. There's Spanish everywhere in New York City.

So why are also, you're pretending you don't fit in anywhere? Like, you're from a city full of Spanish speakers and bilingual people. And many of them are bilingual, not because they went to a very expensive school, but because they spoke Spanish at home and then they went to New York City public schools and learned. Anyway, that's a complete side note. I love this side note. I am here for this side note.

Go to the one in the prongs. I really want to thank you because I wanted to hear your yells about, but also like specifically with the parenting, especially when she started going. And again, I know that what and how to get your kids to eat is a lot of your brain space. And I do understand that. But again, I think people are coming to this book,

Ilaria, do not. read about what you feed your individual children. I don't give a fuck. I know. I'm not here to hear about the kids. I'm going to say it, MJ. I wasn't here to hear about the kids. You can talk about being pregnant. This is the entire book is trying to prove something. Exactly. I'll just, I'll saute a little tofu and olive oil. No seasoning on the tofu? Olive oil. In fact, that's it? If you, if you look up her talking about, so apparently, Eladia has another book. Her first book. Her first book. Her The first book. She mentioned several times.

Yes. And I looked into that one because I was like, oh, does that get into her history a little bit more? Because again, I am curious. If I'm going to be making fun of someone this much, I'm down to read it. You're going to write something about your fucking childhood. Tell me what lies you think that I'm supposed to know. But the way that you're yelling also about the parenthood thing, I was getting upset about her discussion of her. eating disorder. Oh yeah, God, the eating disorder. The eating disorder whole section. Now, apparently

in her last book, she got a lot of flack because she talked about her dealing with anorexia and bulimia because she was a professional dancer. Honestly, I'm intrigued about that portion. Relatable. Okay, well, like, let's, I'd love to talk about that. Let's get into that. That, but apparently in her last book she said like yes I'm known to like take the desserts away from the kids like oh I I kept dessert away from my four year old as punishment and she got ripped apart for that because it's like just because you have issues with food doesn't mean you should put it on your children she very clearly has issues with food that she very clearly puts on her children and I don't try to sideline parent critique like that but it is abundant throughout the book yes and that is the only thing

I was getting from her talking about her individual children and making sure she knows what they are consuming at all times and what they have. And that, and I know that we have almond moms, but what is beyond, like beyond almond? Like, what is an ever, like an extra step of it? Because I, you know, I know nothing about children's nutrition. I don't give a fuck about children's nutrition. I am not going to Ilaria because Illaria is a yoga instructor and that does not mean that you inherently know

what a dietitian knows and the way that she talked about going to a dietitian and now she went and then she realized you know what I should just be listening to my body and then my eating disorder got fixed and that I feel is dangerous I think it's a dangerous thing to say

I think it's a harmful thing in the way that she talked about her eating disorder, I think that, like, she used it in such a way of, like, see, guys, I mean, I used to puke when I threw up, I throw up after I ate, like, and I'm just like you, but also, like, the power of the mind and the poops, gone. Absolutely. She powered through it, and then it's the same attitude with the pump guy. I just worked really hard at it. I liked to pump for three minutes a day, which she, again, frames is like a neurodiverse thing.

She's like, I can't sit still. I know, and everything is framed. that it's because she has ADHD or because she has dyslectia or because and I I you know there's she just said it so many times she said it so many times I'm proud of myself that this is the first time I've gotten almost to yelling because I yelled audibly while listening to this audio book the entire time I had to stop I was so upset yes and it's you know what else she says so many times in the book she says the words there is no manual or the man you know, manual is not included.

She says it at least seven times. I was keeping a count. Stop saying the word manual. Oh my God. At one point she says my kids love quinoa. That was really when I wanted to yell. I was just like, congratulations. Again, she's trying so hard to prove something.

Oh, I let her have a cupcake and pizza at the party. She had never had pizza. She had never had cupcake, but I let her. And she didn't know. She literally tells a story about Carmen not knowing how to eat a cupcake. So she started eating the paper. And I'm sorry, I've given like a one and a half roll of a cupcake and they know not to eat the paper. They go frosting first also.

Frosting first. No one's eating the paper. This is every story. It's just every story feels made up. Or it just doesn't make sense. Your kid ate the paper of the cupcake? You pump for three minutes in time. And if there was one of these things in there, you might be like, okay, weird, maybe your kid ate the paper.

But the entire book reads like a lie. It reads like a defensive lie. And then the other thing we need to scream about is the way she talks about surrogacy. Oh, yes. Please. Please. And this is a place where, as always, we welcome comments, we welcome thoughts. Many of you guys have had experiences.

We haven't had. You've read books. We haven't read. You have jobs. We don't have, and you have great knowledge about this. So there's a great book called Full Surrogacy Now that I was thinking about. there's lots of thoughts about surrogacy. There's people who are critical of it inherently.

There's people who I have good friends now who are in search of a surrogate so that they can have a kid. There's a whole range of feelings one can have about the general idea of surrogacy. But again, to talk about her defensiveness, she immediately goes off with, you know, first of all, she didn't even admit that the two kids who were born five months apart, that one of them was a surrogate. She was really cagey about it for quite a while. Yes, she was. And then she, which I think fueled the sub-redit rumors that she used targets for all of them. But then in the book when she's talking about it, she first of all, you know, she talks a lot about like the losses she had, which, you know, of course, not going to make fun of about that.

No, no. Very devastating and relatable that we're not making, yeah, there are certain portions of this. The fact that she videotaped herself telling her small child about a loss and then posted that video on. Instagram. Disgusting. That I have a problem with. Absolutely disgusting. You shouldn't do. But she talks about the losses and so she decides, you know, she ends up getting naturally pregnant. Well, she had also been in the process of finding a surrogate doing IVF. Okay, sure, no judgment. No judgment. But when she is trying to defend the act of surrogacy, she says that as she's talking to the surrogate, she says, first of all, the surrogate's just one of those women who

loves being pregnant. So no problem. And the surrogate says, you know what it's like? It's like when you use all the ingredients in your kitchen to make a cake batter and you use your bowl and you use your flour and your eggs and your sugar. But your oven is broken. And so you go to your neighbor's house and you bake the cake in their oven. And then you bring it home and you frost the cake.

And she literally says, she writes this down into words and publishes it in a book. I am. You know what? Thank you. I'm glad. I didn't understand before and thank you so much for just breaking it down for the American people. Right. I appreciate you.

I appreciate you. We all understand what literally what Siracie is but why are you explaining it to us like that? I what I wanted from this and again, she owes us nothing and I know that. I just thought you're writing a memoir. So I wanted to get into the like thinking of like how we. was it to go through like planning a surrogacy and then also being simultaneously pregnant. I am curious about the relationship that she, I would hope, had created between like her and her like surrogate and maybe just like I would love to hear about that experience if she'd

wanted to share. That is something I would have been curious about. Totally. And navigating that with your family. And like I, but instead it was so much more of the inside baseball about the de-dez and about their inside jokes that, again, I don't really give, to stop talking to me about your children's inside jokes. That really kind of yucks me out. Talk to me about you. Yeah.

It's just the way that she uses the children as a shield against any criticism of tent shield. Yes. Is very, very hard and upsetting. And yeah, like, you can absolutely decide what you want to share. I think that the problem for her is she's kind of like, why is the paparazzi invading my space? But what she shares her children relentlessly. But I guess what she says is, you know, if I share them, then I'm controlling the narrative. It's the same thing she says about why she reveals her pregnancies.

I want to be the one to reveal this stuff, not the paparazzi. And I tried to have an open mind about that, be like, okay, that makes sense. But after having watched the show, you're just profiting off of these kids and you're using them for sympathy. You're profiting off of your children, yes. You're using them for sympathy. And even before the accidental killing, which we haven't even gotten to, but even before the accidental killing, you were using your kids for content, you were sharing private vulnerable moments of them. You were literally videotaping, you telling your young kid that you had had a pregnancy loss and videotaping her reaction and sharing it online.

And I don't think that you needed to, like, read a book. to know that that's probably not something you should do, that you're invading your child's privacy when you do that. And she talks about her driver all the time. She talks about the nannies all the time. And maybe the nannies don't want to be named. Maybe they're like, don't keep me out of it. But she just refers to the nannies all the time.

Very rarely, by the way, she doesn't actually talk about all the labor the nannies do. But if she ever does mention the nannies, she just calls them the nannies. She just refers to the driver. And it is hard to be relatable when that's how you talk about the people who make your life run. Well, exactly, especially when the person that is trying to be relatable isn't actually, I feel like sharing anything that is, you're right. Everything is so dusted with the classism that, you know, and the privilege that she has had for a long time, even though she claims to have no privilege because she's, you know. She's not, I mean, she's not saying she's not white, but I will say she did, apparently, she was on the cover of glam Latina in 2013.

And she was on Ola magazine twice, and in which, like, with the front covers being like Alex Baldwin's wife and her family from Spain. So there's an active grift happening. It is just crazy that she simultaneously shares almost. nothing really about her that is very sensitive or could be seen like everything was about how like she's completely middle of the road she's not any of one thing meanwhile though I'm sorry any person that can keep their body to that extent and I'm not judging in a poor way I'm just saying that is someone that is having control over every single moment of their existence I mean yeah she's you could

drop you could you could you know bounce a quarter off her but meanwhile once she talks about her kids or if she's talking about alec she will share any vulnerability that's so true yes that you're so right disgust me yeah that yucks me out yes that it's like this is not honestly I'd probably be interested in reading alec baldwin's memoir yeah I would be interested in reading in like battling OCD and how he's gotten to the place he's gotten to and, you know, going through public, huge divorces, and I would read that. But you're sharing intimate information about Alec

as a way to be like, see, I'm sharing, I'm just like you, my husband's just like your husband, when we all know that's just simply not the case. But you don't mind sharing his vulnerabilities. You don't mind sharing minor children's vulnerabilities. This is it. You won't get too far into your actual reality. And you might say, well, but doesn't she talk a lot about her neurodiversity?

The her talking about her ADHD and dyslexia, it never comes off as vulnerable. It comes off as defensive. As an excuse. Exactly. Exactly. For this like, and again, not as an excuse for like, we're not even talking. talking about like you might have a person in your life who's like, oh, you know, this person doesn't listen to me and then they blame their ADHD or whatever. We're not even talking about like

normal human, you know, where do we, where do we figure out how to accommodate you, but also, you know, hold you accountable or whatever. We're not talking about that. We're talking about using the ADHD and dyslexia as an excuse for a years long identity theft, right? But not, so there is no vulnerability. Yes, she kind of tries at it. Again, I would take a class in memoir writing after starting this celebrity is with you because it's so fascinating where you know you look at somebody like Julia Fox who is really

really telling us the reader about choices that do not make her look good right that's what vulnerability is honesty right like really admitting where you have made mistakes like really talking about

what you have really like your lowest times and sharing that not in a way of that is navel gazing, but in a way of like, I wonder if you've been here too, right? Or like, this is where I was and this is where I am now. And what Hilaria is doing is like,

everyone was mean to me, but it's because I have this thing, ADHD and dyslexia, and so you shouldn't be mean to me. But here is something that's really private about my husband. And here is something that's really private about my kids. And you're so right, Jackie, that she will exploit the privacy and vulnerability

of both Alec and of her children while maintaining pure defensiveness, pure, none of this is my responsibility, the entire book. It is, it is shocking. Like, even when she talks about parenting, it's incredibly easy to talk about yourself as a parent with some amount of humbleness

or vulnerability because the whole premise of the book, manual not included, you'd think it would be like, I'm learning as I go, I make mistakes. But she doesn't make mistakes. She's just everyone's wrong because they're criticizing her all the time. That's it. If you're going to say the words nannies, why not at least lift them up and be like, okay, we're talking about how difficult it is to run a household for seven children while, you know, obviously she's got nannies, but it's good at the end of the day it does fall back on her.

I would also have been interested in reading about that. Okay. How do you manage the, like, personalities? It's like, you know, if you're going to talk, I guess, if you're going to exploit your children, how do you navigate seven different people that you're raising? That I would also be weirdly interested in. Like, that is, what's hard about it? Like, what's great about having this many kids? You chose to do this? Talk more about that choice. What, you know, how do you give them one on one time? How do you manage, you know, how do you manage, you know, how? How do you manage, you know, how? How do you? do you manage making sure that all of their needs are met? How do you manage delegating things to your staff? Like, you can talk about the staff with some amount of humanity. Right. And also, why, so right, why did you choose to have seven children? And not because you have to answer to that for any one. Jackie. How could I be a gold digger? I had seven kids. She starts with that in chapter one. She starts at that chapter one. I'm not a gold digger. I had seven of his kids. I'm not sure if that precludes you being a cold digger.

Can't be your only reason. Like, you had seven children. Why? Like, I'm just, is it just because it's like, that is what you always expect. Like, you dreamed of seven. Is it, is it that? You were a lonely child. Is it that? You could totally.

Like, again, any ounce of actual humanity coming in here, like, you know, and instead, it's just. Oh my God. Sorry, I wrote down when she was started, she has a whole like page where she's talking about how she doesn't believe in hierarchy and how hierarchy doesn't exist.

She was talking about, she's like, what I learned as a yoga instructor is that hierarchy does exist and that she never, that like hierarchy was something new to her in the world of being an adult. You come from not only money, but money to go to international schooling back and forth. from Boston and you're gonna it's just you're never going to be relatable

Eladia choose a different lane and also your mom that's I wrote down the actual thing that she kept saying that I think four times she said

and then my mommy would ask is this a problem for Illaria or Ilaria Baldwin and the thing is

mommy the question is for neither one of those people because either one of those people really exist. Yes, right. The distinction she's trying to make is she keeps coming to this. Is this about who I am or is this about the public image of myself? She begins chapter, where is it?

Chapter 4, clickbait with this question. I grapple with the question, why am I here in the public space? Why am I relevant? To which I said, great question. And I do think she needs to figure this. She just needs to figure this out. like do you want to be a famous influencer, which is the path that you seem to have chosen? She obviously does.

Like, this is what, that is what she wants. She wants into all of this. You do lots of red carpet events. You performatively publicly do this like, when I'm talking, you're not talking thing with Alec. So, and again, unfortunately, if that is the path that you so chose, then you must also deal with the fact that you are in the public eye. And I'm not saying you deserve to be treated badly. I really thought about this a lot because I'm like, Brittany didn't.

deserve the way the Papps treated her. Why am I having a harder time, you know, feeling sympathy for, for Hilaria? But, you know, it just, it really just comes back to what, what kind of, what are you trying to contribute to the world here, right? Brittany, if you read her book, what she keeps saying is, I just want to make music. I just want to make music. I just want to make, I want to do my art. I feel connected to people who care about my music. I want to do, this is what I want to do with my life. And I don't think that Hilaria knows what she wants to do aside from be famous. I just think that it, I think that so, but so it comes off as this very all over the place. Like, am I famous for, am I famous for being a mom? Am I famous for being a yoga instructor?

And it's like, you know, I think she just, I think this. And yet apparently she was famous for being a yoga instructor. I am curious about that. Talk about building that. And it's like, you know, There are sections that I'm curious about. It is really, like, this is an illuminative look inside someone's insecurities. Like, if you struggle with insecurity, you could, you might want to read this book as a, because I found myself relating to the, the very powerful level of insecurity that she deals with. You know, that is the most sympathetic thing. That's the most vulnerable thing about the book is what a profoundly insubstantiated. secure seeking person she is.

And that, and I don't say that with judgment. That is, again, the most relatable thing about her. But it's the accompanying defensiveness and the accompanying insistence that she can't, couldn't possibly be doing any of this wrong that makes it so unsympathetic. And I kind of wish that she was just like, you know, I, it's crazy over here. I was just a normal hot person in my 20s and then I got plunged into this life of being Alec Baldwin's wife. And also she'd obviously never seen any movies because she didn't know how famous Alec Baldwin is, which is fine. Like that's kind of kind of cute, you know.

It is, I will say, I feel that it was lightly said as if like, I'm not from America. I don't know who Alec Baldwin is. Or I'm neurodivergent, so I don't know who Alic Baldwin is. Or I'm neurone emergent. I don't know Alec Baldwin. It is just, I, you know, should I be blaming my bipolar and my ADHD, my anxiety disorder. Should I be blaming that more off? I'm like, oh, I'm running like, I'm bipolar. Guys, I couldn't possibly. I, you know, I, and I know I'm making a light about mental health right now, but

it does seem like that's kind of what, like, it's, you know mental health is not a scapegoat, right? Like, it is understandable that there are times in your life when you're struggling, when, you know, But it is something that is more of like, oh, I have been dealing with this. And, you know, you have to connect with people in your life and apologize and explain yourself. And I get that. Totally. I just, I mean, my version of ADHD has never encouraged me to act like I am from another country. And that maybe that's just me.

That's just my ADHD. I guess I was like my kids go to a dual language school they speak Spanish half the day they are not from Spain like you know there is a big difference between speaking two languages and saying that your identity and it's it's so it's very delicate because Spain is a European country but she is very much trying to do she's trying to capitalize on Americans lack of knowledge about what it means to Spanish to act as if she doesn't have white privilege. It's very, right? Because people from Spain may have white privilege. It's a European country. But a lot of Spanish speakers do not have white privilege. It's very complicated.

Many, many, many, many, many pieces of literature written about the Latin diaspora, about how complicated this is. She is so clearly trying to be like, what privilege me? I am from a spania. Like, it is such a grift. It is so nasty. and all of the goodwill she could build up from, like, I like the idea of having seven kids. I think it's fun.

I don't hate her for that. You and I both think it's kind of cool to have that many kids. I'm not upset with her for having nannies. I'm not upset. There's many things, like I said, that I am not upset with her about. Totally. I will say the Reddit, though, and how much they have been making fun of Ilaria, social media, trying to sell the book. I don't know if you've seen the video of her.

Like she was Papparazzi on the street. But she was caught on the street naturally holding her book outwards. As she like sexily crosses the street. As she sexually crossed the street

but it was just the Papps just found her like they always do. She was the human embodiment of reading the comments. It's like if you put the experience of reading the comments into an AI generator and it could push out a human, that she is just a human embodiment of what it, what happens to you when you read the comments.

Girl, you got to stop reading the comments. And I get, again, I, it's extremely relatable that it's not nice to have everybody being mean to you online, but you must exist for another purpose. You have children. Exist for them if you don't know who you are. It exists for them if you don't know what your purpose in life is. Well, exist for them to make books, MJ. Just for them to make money. You got to, you got to stop reading the comments because now she is responding. is a response to the people responding to her. And we are through the looking glass. Okay.

She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, about how people on Instagram are making fun of her

Instagram videos. And it's like, you gotta stop. You got to stop. You got to stop. But man, the hilarious, Baldwin subreddit is fun.

Spend some time. You know what, MJ? I would feel, I, you know what it is? I would feel bad for her. If she felt any amount of feeling bad about any of it.

Zero. She still doesn't think she did anything wrong. She feels none of it. Do you think, I'm sorry, I know we're going so long, but I need to know. Do you think that she was actively lying? Do you think it was improv that got away from her? Like she just thought she could, she was just kind of vibing. Like, well, I spent a lot of time in Spain.

Maybe I'll just speak with a thick Spanish accent and see what happens. Do you think she lied to Alec or do you think that they were in on it together? I think that she has been, I think that this has been a part of her. I imagine. She's delusional? For a long time. The Lulu. Think about that.

Remember when, like, I don't know if you had this in college or if you specifically went through this when you got, came back from Prague. But I remember when everyone would go. Speaking of a thick check accent. Yeah. Like, everyone would go to the UK because there was this like a broad program in London. Yeah. And then I didn't have the money to go.

And everyone's like, oh, put it in the base. Yeah. And they do all that shit. And like, I could see. her starting this when she was young. And then it kind of got out of control. Like, again, like you said, listen to how she spoke when she first met Alec Baldwin versus now, which is surprisingly she's lost the accent in the years.

And again, you guys, look it up. Man, there are videos, if you think that we're being too hard on her, there are videos of her being like, Married Life is so nice. Like, it is a cartoon accent. It's offensive. We've been trying to avoid saying this the whole time because it feels too online to be like, I think this is offensive.

Because we are not, like, I don't have the right to be offended. No, but it is, I feel like, it's not my culture she's pretending to be part of. No, but if it were, I'd be pretty fucking angry about it. So it is all of it. And honestly, what I think I would be most upset about, and this is speaking as someone with white privilege. is that I would be very upset about the fact that she is white and rich and that she claims to be, like, that the world is against her.

Yeah. That so, so, so many people that is there every day, that is their minute by minute that are treated differently because of where they come from, because of what they look like. and it's not her. And that's not fair. Like that's where my anger comes in. Yes. Yes. That is not fair.

No. We acknowledge that we have white privilege. Yes. I acknowledge that. Like I know, I understand that. Yes. And there's no amount of Spanish I could speak

that would make me not have white privilege. No. And even if you went and you bought a house for your kids in Spain, they are still not Spanish. Yeah. It's just, I,

They can live in Spain. Yes. I think you're right. I think it was a little identity thing that got away from her. And she is a mix of Dululu and it lacks such a sense of self that she was able to just kind of go off on this trip without realizing it, maybe. I don't know. I got a lot of questions. I'm not angry that we read the book because I would have always been curious if she had.

explained a little bit more that would have made me feel more sympathetic towards her. Yeah, there's nothing you get from this book that you don't get from the show. And what you get from the show is you realize just what an incredibly vain, shallow, controlling,

selfish person she is, at least in her family unit. I tried to go into this not being defensive. I tried to go into this being like, Jackie, you're grieving. You're angry about everything. It's the grief. But let's, you know, Exactly. I was like, oh, it's just the grief. That's why you're getting so. And then, and I also want everybody to know. The audiobook is only four and a half hours long. You could take a long walk and finish it. It is not a lot. Like, there is not a lot to this book. It is included in Spotify. If you have Spotify, if you pay for Spotify premium or whatever, you can just listen to it without buying anything. And I have the audible premium. So in my brain, I'm like, oh, it's just a credit. It'll be all just. I'm, I'm, but it is $15.

So, and it's not selling well. Save your money. Save your money. Save your money. Save your money. You'll learn absolutely nothing. Read Julie a box. Read almost any, honestly, read anything else.

You don't need to read this and I'm glad we did it. And I'm glad that hopefully more of her books will not sell. Yeah. Yeah, I am sorry, but she needs to do a lot of soul searching and she needs to get off Reddit. We all do, but except of all you guys get on there. Take a look at the Reddit. It's fun. Check it out because, man, but really, yeah, they really are hung up on the fact that she definitely didn't have six of those seven children.

I'm just like, guys. I mean, that I'm not going to go after. I mean, I don't know. I BLCs out there talk about the pumping for three minutes at a time thing. Can anyone weigh in on this? Because as somebody who was a overproducer and who could make a lot of milk in a short period of time, the idea of pumping three minutes at a time once an hour seems like serial killer behavior. So I need somebody to weigh in on that.

Tell me that I'm not losing my mind here, please. Please let us know. And thank you, MJ. Thank you for providing. That was really the perspective that I was like, I know that if I were a parent that I wouldn't magically give a fuck about these things. No, no. The parenting stuff is the most enraging part of the book.

And I'm talking about a book about somebody who's insisting she's from Spain. Yeah, no, the parenting stuff is awful. Awful. Especially the breastfeed. I imagine. And also, yeah, the food, everything. All of her choices questionable. Sorry.

Questionable. I don't want to judge you. Sorry not. Sorry. to judge you by writing this book. But definitely head over to the patron because we're going to pop up a poll. Oh yeah. Now we've got to

figure out what we're reading next. We don't even know what we're reading next. Oh my Lord. So definitely this, the poll will be up by the time this goes up. So go over and vote for what we're going to read for next week or at least start for next week. Thank you guys so much for your patronage and thank you

for going with us on this journey that I didn't know that we needed. and I stand firm in my dislike of Elaria Baldwin. Yes, we didn't like her going in and we don't like her coming out. Don't like her coming out. And it's just like when you eat shit and then you shit the shit out your ass. All of it is no good. Have a great day, everybody, and we will be back next week.

Just take a look. It's in a book. It's a little bit. Celebrities, celebrities, celebrities.