Page 7 - Chaste and Stable 2026 w/ Jake Young

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ tap Jake as a last minute substitution to discuss the hawt and steamy bubble butt filled "Heated Rivalry", Jackie is going to be in an upcoming dating sim, plus someone from "I Love LA" gave his opinion on "Heated Rivalry" and it was that he did not think the sex was realistic enough, but has since taken back his criticism. After 35 minutes its time to talk about CLEINE DION's amazing job as the GRINCH! MJ claims to not to want to fuck Walton Gogins as the GRINCH, but says he is the most fuckable Grinch. A list of Famous People Who Were Turned Away, Kicked Out, or Even BANNED From Public Places OR EVENTS! Then the blindz, and then we're back with our first list of 2026, followed by a GOOSHY Jackie's Snackies @ 1:14:39.889 and a Jakie's Slackies that's very on brand, but not review worthy until 1:23:55.980! All that and more on this week's Page 7!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, it's a butts and boys episode. It's a butts and boys episode. Give me your eyes. I need sunshine. Give me your eyes. I need sunshine. Your God. Your boss.

Your voice. And your ghost. I need a sunshine! Pass the puck, they're ready to fuck. Yeah, you know, I'm right they are. Yes, yes, yes. Happy 2026. It's for dicks.

It's for dicks. Welcome to page seven. And man, you know, welcome to page seven. It is a special episode. It's not like a very special episode. We're not going to be talking. I mean, we've been having an episode. Child abuse.

Yes, we're talking about child abuse today. This is a, it is a. Everyone remembers that full house special episode. Oh, yeah. It's like a spun spotlight in here, but no. I'm against it. Jake hit me up, and it was like out of the ether. Jake could feel that I needed a place to scream about heated rivalry.

He could feel it, and he could feel that Amber was going to be on the show this week, and that there's no way I could have gotten Amber to watch this show. Or if I had, could you imagine, I feel like the conversation, not that I'm saying it would have been bad. It just would have been very different. Would have been a real different conversation. We'd be very different. And maybe we'll have that conversation in the near future. We definitely might.

But for today, Jake had hit me up, apropos of nothing. I mean, it was apropos of the beautiful and wise Marie, my partner, going, is Jackie talking about this fucking show? We've got to talk about this fucking show. And it was so fast that, you know, you don't usually bump friends off of a show, but I was like, sorry, Amber, bitch, you got bumped because I got to talk about butts and pucks. This is the most cultural reverberations the nation of Canada has had in years. Oh, wow. I mean, thank God, since Justin Trudeau.

You know, they don't want to think about who he's in bed with right now. So they are going to think about people. They need a win. right now. They need a win. And also, MJ is here, but is, you know, dealing with the beginnings of, ooh, something fun stirring within their body. Something's brewing. I'm like that volcano that's waiting to erupt. Will it erupt during the show? And the eruption is, I'm talking about is puke. But it's going to be fine. Okay. No, so only top. Only top. Bottom. Yeah. That's good. Okay. That's nice. And really, right now, I don't know what's going.

going on. All I know is that something's wrong. And what better way to record a show than to just have some deep unsettling physical happenings. But I'm going. So if I disappear, listener, you know why. But do I have snacks ready for MJ's minute munchies? I do. So we're going to see. I don't know if I'm going to allow you to eat those. I think I'm technically allowed to bow out of the minute munchies this week. I need everyone to know. I did immediately say to MJ, goodbye, MJ. You are released from the show. today, but you know, you got in those episodes of heated rivalry, so you got to talk about it. That's the thing. I've been trying to crash course myself into heated rivalry. I've got to talk about it. And I can't miss the first show in 2026. It's a new year. It's the same us. You know,

I got to be here. Yes. And we are out the gate. You know, I think that everybody, we're not, it's not going to only be talking about heated rivalry today. Everybody. It might be. It might be. There's news. There's also other news. We are going to be talking about other things. It's just that this show broke everybody over the holiday. And I was saying this to Jake right before we started recording. I have tried desperately to get every person in my life to watch this show.

And I love you, Jake. You and Marie were the only ones to heed the call. You're the only ones. And that's why you get invited back. That's how you get on the immediate invite, Liz. Immediately back. I will say, like, I feel like romance and kind of this world of, like, female gays, kind of, just like, a lot of my queer media consumption is a lot of RuPaul, a lot of drag race, a lot of camp, and, or, like, kind of, like, kind of, like, half ironic, like, romantic, like, romantic kind of.

kind of waves, like, coming across my shore. And so when it was first pitch to me as just like, oh, everyone's going nuts about, and this is how people talk about it, the gay hockey show, the gay hockey boys. I'm like, okay, this is going to be, this is going to be kind of campy. But the show, like, once you're in it, the level of quality, the level of artistry, the level of just from a technical standpoint, from a storytelling standpoint, from an acting perspective it is so goddamn solid it is one of the best pieces of television i've seen in years and the fact that like uh the fact that it's the this is like a real moment i feel like for

uh romance as a genre oh yes for like kind of uh queer culture oh yes right off the bat i just just like nobody dies nobody i was i was yes i i did for find myself as I often do when I watch queer characters being portrayed in popular media, I'm like bracing for something horrible to happen to them. Like, oh, good, I get to witness like a gay bashing because that's so frequently what we get to see. We get to, like, now, nowadays, in the past five or ten years, it's like, oh, we do get to see like a humanized, like, develop, fully developed, like real actual character development for queer people. But then we also just get to see something terrible happen to them. And I did find myself being like,

I am so glad that this is like about like the ups and downs of love and crushes and sex and not about any hate crimes, you know, like that's nice, that's a nice break. Yes, and that it is a gay hockey show, but I'll tell you what, there's barely any hockey in it. That's brilliant. That's one of the most brilliant things about it. I read that apparently, because I thought it was like, oh, before I started watching it was like, oh, I imagine they must have gone through a bunch of training.

They literally both of them, they just had to know how. to ice skate and they were taught how to hold the stick and that is what they were taught the way because like filming a sports movie or filming like something like you know the mighty ducks or remember the titans or you know anything that involves like the drama of sports requires so much coordination it's basically like filming an action movie the level of rehearsing and training and like unique shots you have to get they are this think about how much Stranger Things has shat the bed How it's like half a billion

$10 year Super Media thing has been building up to and everybody hates it and this fucking Canadian show we'll just go right ahead and smash cut away from like the Stanley Cup game

or whatever the fake Stanley Cup is because they didn't even get the rights to real hockey teams Yes I do love that too and just like you still feel all the impact It does feel like you're in this kind of like you know B list universe of like yeah fake hockey

fake everything. But I like that. Yeah, that's a great point about strange. Because I've also, I did spend my break immersed in the Stranger Things universe, which I know Jackie has just opted not to reenter that universe. And I don't really have a long time ago. And I don't really have that much to say about it. But that's certainly like there's just been a lot of, um, you know, I'm not really on Twitter anymore, but threads. Is anybody on threads? It's all. I'm like a blue sky guy. Yeah, blue sky is better. I should be on blue sky more because that's where like people who I like are. But anyway, everyone's talking about stranger things.

It feels like that's where the whole discourse has been. But then there was this shift. You're right, Jackie. Even you started talking about he had rivalry like, you know, a couple weeks ago now. But it does seem like in the winter break when everyone was like convalescing at home, people discovered the gay hockey show. And I, I like, you know, caveat, none of us are like cis gay men. I have not had that kind of sex.

I know there's been a lot of discourse about how the sex is portrayed and all of that. So this is like none of our exact, you know, expertise per se. But I do feel like in terms of there's been all these New York Times, there's been like three New York Times articles about the show in the last two days. And it's just about like what a different and kind of groundbreaking moment it is to have this kind of like romance show dominating the, you know, dominating the streaming. Yes. And that you're, you know, it's a sports role.

Romance show that also broke breaking brad breaking bad breaking bad it is breaking bad It broke breaking bad and it broke over the episode Ozzy Vandias which was the top rated episode and now it It shattered it because everybody needed to see I'll go to the cottage I'll go to the hollander that's this vocal stand around the house You do it, you're Bollander. You're boring. You're boring.

Oh, he read New Yorker, so he's boring is genetic. Oh, he's also boring like you? Yes, and we talked a little bit about that guy, that actor, and how he just loves doing accents. Yeah. It's, he just, oh, yeah, yeah. He's not Russian. He just loves, he was like, oh, yeah, I get to immerse myself in the Russian accent,

which is very sweet. The character of Ilya Rosenov that Connor Story plays, is so, like, captivating on screen. He has just this, like, crazy intensity. I don't even understand, like, Connor Story, I don't know where the fuck he came from. He has the, like, juiciest bubble butt I've ever seen on an adult man in the thing. Wow. I'm sorry.

Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are going to be talking about at least their butts because we have to talk about the butt. Because I'm from Texas. And he's, like, he's so young. He's like a new. He's like a fresh, fresh. fresh little face from Texas.

He's a sweet babe. He's like completely the opposite in interviews, which is also really funny. That's the thing, MJ, now that you've started watching it, your entire feed will become heated. Because that's a thing. That's why I didn't know how I was going to do this show today

and not talk about heated rivalry because it's everything. My phone went right from dancing with the stars right into heated rivalry. And now it's all their interviews are so amazing. And I love them talking. about like their like squat routine so that they could get how big their butts could get. Elevated kettlebell squats apparently is what you got to do.

You got to stand on two boxes and squat with a kettlebell. Yeah, with the kettlebell all the way down. For extra extension to get that deep bubble to get that real sphere. That's what he's saying. He's like, you don't do, he's like regular squats like this. He's like, you go all the way down. He's like, you better go all the way down. And then I'm just watching like, yeah, you better go all the way.

Now, here's the thing. It is getting, of course, a lot of backlash for multiple things. One of the things is that the book is written by a bisexual woman and not a gay man. I was wondering about that. But the thing is that the show is made by Jacob Tierney. And Jacob Tierney is from, I don't know if you got, if you ever watched Letterkenny. But he's from Letterkenny. Canadian dude that is like a hockey person.

And also, I'm not, I'm not quite sure. of his sexuality but definitely is bringing the essence with which this show was created and I feel that like there's so many there's so many

people out there that are like a gay show and can everybody be watching a gay show and like you brought up before that they're like we're all crying at the show but it's

not because like it's the most traumatic thing you've ever seen. It's actually just a beautiful love story. Yeah. Wikipedia, for the record, says that Tierney is gay. Okay, great. I was assuming, but I wasn't trying to assume. MJ, you're not saying the most important thing for us 90s kids about Jacob Tierney.

Are you afraid of the dark? He was one of the midnight society. Are you afraid of the dark? That whole show was filmed in Canada. Yeah. He was in our, I'm going to recognize. Okay, wait, I need to look up, are you afraid of the dark? I think it is funny because it's like one of the top things they say about him,

but I'm like, he also, I think, has done a bunch of other stuff. Oh, no, he's done a great. He made an edgy 2000s indie film, a take on Oliver Twist, just called Twist. Oh, who is a very 2000s indie film to do. Oh, twist, you say. That's exactly the, one of the New York Times articles that I referenced is it's called the heated rivalry is gay culture's next new frontier but the author of that article was like it's just nice to see like a sweet happy nice slightly boring but hot love story between two men

like that can we just have that you know and it's beautiful and it's wonderful and yeah they're playing hockey and oh yeah they're making eyes across the ice because you know there is that one seed where it's like he makes eyes at him across the ice and then he gets really hurt. It was like, bro, you can't be making eyes in him on the eyes. Oh, that scene is so hard. So upsetting. Because MJ, like you said, you're like, there it is. Here it is. Here's the tragedy. Exactly. There's the unconscious homophobia in Western society that like you got to kill the gays. It's not right. They have to face some kind of cosmic punishment for their sins against not putting P&V. And what's really the word of the day when it comes to like,

people talking about the show online, is yearning, which I thought was weird at first, because again, like, the wave of culture kind of hit us first, and then we had to play catch-up. And I was like, what do you mean yearning? They are, like, sucking and fucking, like, within the first, like, 20 minutes of this show. And it's, no, like, the build, the, like, the way that they just want to be together and can't, even though they're physically connecting a lot on camera repeatedly. Yeah, is that what we're calling it, drink? Yeah, they were physically connecting a lot.

But yes, no, it does also have that. It's like, it's this very like long, agonizing, tortured, can we, can't we, will they, won't they? Like, so it's not, it's not like, right, because obviously you need tension and you need conflict and you need agony and, and, you know, missed connections. and you need all those things, but you can have all of that with a gay love story without it also being, and also the presence of homophobia

is obviously, like, it exists in a world where homophobia is a very strong force, the world of the world and also the world of hockey. And so, like, it, all of that is there

without it being like a very special episode about how gay people always get attacked. One really, I don't want to say fun, but interesting thing they did is, um,

I don't know, if this is even a part of the original books, but, you know, Hudson Williams and his character, Shane Hollander, is half Asian and, like, is this, like, kind of breakthrough superstar in the world

of hockey and is, like, very professional, very, like, business-minded mom. Yeah, I guess we should explain the show for anyone that hasn't watched a show. Yeah, I guess we should probably explain to a show. What else do you watch? That's... Honestly, I feel like I knew enough going in based on Jackie's

Jackie's thing but yeah there's there's the there's Connor story who is hot Russian and then there's what's his name the hot Canadian Shane yes and he's the hot Canadian and they're rivals on rival hockey teams and they start their love affair

so I guess it is different from the book and the book it only happens over weeks rather than years oh that's interesting that is interesting and it is more of like a like a whirlwind fire but I love that they let it sit. It just felt the long, you're right, because it was that longing of when were they going to see each other next?

When were they, and just the way they did it with like the text messages and stuff like that and the way that they were connecting in those ways. I loved the use of all of that. And I'm excited because I didn't even realize one of my friends over at the Ripped Bodice, which is a smut store that is in L.A. as well as in Brooklyn, You should definitely check it out. Rip Bodice. Can you get porno mags?

You can't get the porno mags, but you can get the heated rivalry because I didn't realize she had gifted me. Well, I got it from the store. But I had gotten one of the original copies of heated rivalry that she had given me because I had said, I was like, what's coming up next? And she was like, I feel like sports erotica is going places. and she was so right and she had given me a rivalry so now I am starting to read it and I am I'm like do I now I'm getting so many more people hitting me up about different and please hit me up about different fun sports eroticas because I this is the perfect way I feel I wonder if so much of it is written and I guess like if my partner were really interested in one of these types of ball games. I feel, or puck, look at me, inclusive, a basket.

If he liked one of those kind of things, I feel like I would lose myself at some point wanting to write erotica about all of them because that's what's happening in my brain anyway. So this is something that I find very hilarious and that is that the first book in the series actually follows Scott Hunter and Kipp. Kip, yes.

And it's, uh, I believe, what was it called game changers? Yes. And, uh, that originally started in the great modern romance tradition as a fanfic. Oh. Oh, it was a Stucky, Stephen Bucky, Captain America and the Winter Soldier. What? That's how the dynamic started. And if you see like, this is Marie's like best, like, like, when Scott Hunter's

in his, like, tight-fitting shirt going on jogging. Okay. Can you explain them those other characters? So while this is happening. Sorry. You can lose us when you get to the Marvel universe, Jake. I'm sorry. What was that one? What's that?

So Scott Hunter is the kind of more established veteran captain of the New York team. And he is also a closeted gay man. And he on a random day stops into a local, I think it's supposed to be Brooklyn smoothie shop. And he flirts with the smoothista. I don't know what you call. By the way, there's so. Oh, it sounds like what M.J. is going to come having, coming out of their mouth, leave. Oh, that was a smoothie star right there.

Sorry, MJ. No, thank you for that. That will make me laugh later when it happens. When it happens. I just want to point out how the parts shot in New York, I'm like, where is this large, empty smoothie shop? There's nobody there. Only Canada. Yes.

But go on. Only in Canada. But he meets Kip, and because sports, you know, famously athletes, especially on that high level, are very superstitious. When he breaks out of his slump and wins the game, he goes back for the smoothie shop. They start flirting again. And it follows, like, I'd say more of a, what I think is a traditional, like, female-driven romance thing. We're like, oh, he's got a nice apartment. But, oh, he's really intense.

And, like, oh, he's, like, it's up to me to get him to open up. And, like, that dynamic feels very, like, more in tune of what I know about, like, the romance genre, especially in the modern era. Whereas Shane and Ilias are groundbreaking in the way it's handled, especially on the show. But that dynamic of, like, the, like, kind of, like, withdrawn, self-serious, but, like, yearning for connection. And the kind of, like, bright-eyed, more street-level guy that, like, through friendship and physical connection, like, teaches. him to be more human. I absolutely believe that that was Steve Rogers, Captain America, and

Bucky the Winter Soldier initially. Wow. Which was a massive ship on Tumblr for a decade during the eye of the marble universe. I mean, Sebastian Stan, like, come on. That's who. Yeah, Sebastian Stan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, didn't, what was the other one, Chris? Wasn't it a Chris?

Chris Pine. Are you talking about Sebastian Stan Kissing? Not Chris Pine. No, no, no. Chris. The other one. Why? Oh, weird. I feel. Sorry, I did it to you. Chris Evans? Is it Chris Evans? I don't know.

I've got that type of white man blindness. I've got Chris blindness. Yes. Chris Evans. You're right. Chris Evans. It's why we got to keep you around. Listen to Nerd of Mouth for more struggling to remember deeply popular superhero actors.

And then, yeah, Bucky's, yeah, Bucky's. I'm just excited because this is huge for the romance genre in general. The fact that it's like, I, you all know here, I'm over there doing my Crescent Cities. I'm really trying to learn more about the world of erotica. In fact, I'm actually soon, if you like to play dating sims, you should totally check out slashfic, which is on the app Dorian, and it is a lot of fun. And they're soon coming out with a sequel. And I will be doing a voice of one of the slasher's that you can either romance,

or be killed by. And you should totally check out slash fic. You can check that out right now. And then slash fic the sequel is going to come out later on this month. And I'll let you guys know about it. So I download Dorian, which is the platform, which I can enjoy lots of different dating sims and visual novels. It's kind of crazy because this app gives the IP to the creators of the games.

And you can directly, it's almost like a, like working with like a Patreon of directly, giving funding the artists who are making these games and as someone has played dating sims for a very long time this is a huge dream come true for me to be able to i mean i didn't know i wanted to be a harlequin clown that murders but also has sex but you did but i did but of course i did it's very off brand for you not to know this about yourself intrinsically you know honestly it's kind of fun because it's the kind of sexy character. I don't usually, like, she's very unhinged. And I know that look on that.

Oh, Jake, what are you going to say? You say, I'm not unhinged? No, you are not sexually unhinged. No, you are the most chaste and stable person I have ever met. Thank you. Thank you. Everybody, those are the two things. Chase and stable.

Chase and stable 2016. Yeah, yeah. Oh, 2016. Oh, and actually, Chaste and Stable are the names of the gay protagonists of the romance novel. I'm currently writing to cash in on this. I will read it, Jake. I need it. Oh, my God, their thighs.

I really just, I think about. Let's get to the sex. Let's get to the sex. Yeah, we can talk about the sex. I know, but again, as the three of us, the three of us here are not three homosexual males, so we cannot speak for. I feel like if we put our minds together, we count as one. I mean, with the amount of it that I've watched, I feel like at least, like, let me in as an ally. Come on, I can talk about this.

Well, and Jackie, you included an article that we didn't end up discussing because it did feel, I think, for both of us a little bit above our pay grade because of our own limits of our own identity. But you included an article a couple weeks ago about the gay sex in I Love L.A. and the gay sex in Heeded Rivalry and that one of the people from I Love L.A. was kind of snarking on Heated Rivalry. He has taken that. back since. And he has said like, hey, I should just be happy that we're being represented. Why is it like? Because like so much of the discourse was like, but I love L.A. and heated rivalry very different show. They're very different shows. Right. And the whole point, like I appreciate that especially, I believe that I can't say that the other person was Canadian. I felt like it was like something that they had, they ended up all being at the same place at the same time.

for some sort of open, like some kind of premiere. And that's where they all just, like, then it was like, the person who originally said it being like, oh, yeah, I should. Which is another term for gay sex that I've used in the past. I'll splach that. I mean, it's like, I haven't watched I love L.A. I hung out with a friend over the break who lives in L.A. who was like had really complicated feelings about I love L.A. I know you've been enjoying it, Jackie.

But even having not seen I love L.A., thinking about like a sex scene in girls or something that's supposed to represent, like, you know, kind of grungy Brooklyn is not going to be the same type of sex scene as a kind of, like, stylized romance. It's just a different, completely different style, right? And so it makes sense that we're seeing different sex, even though it's all gay sex. We're going to see different. It's going to feel different. Of course it is, right?

It is very interesting how the show skirts the line between kind of, like, graphic and kind of cinematic style. like heightened fantasy apparently Jacob Tierney was like given the go ahead to do full frontal if he thought it was appropriate. Wow. Really? Okay. And he was like, no, I think the spirit of the book

is like, because it's very intimate. It's very much more graphic than what I'm used to seeing on TV. But it is like subduit is there is just a layer of like you know, you don't see peen, you don't see ball, you know, you're focusing on faces and like kind of just

they do the thing. that is my favorite thing in sex scenes where like there's thrusting but it's very obvious the hips are nowhere near. Oh no near. Oh, nowhere near. Oh, yeah. And it's like you gotta think

it's like, you know, the way in which they had to shoot around a bunch of stuff and it's like at the end of the day, we know he's not inserted into his assholes. At the end of the day, we know that to be true. And so it's also like, okay, can we also put a little? little bit of that aside. Little suspension of disbelief. Just a little bit. It's, but, I mean,

it feels like a kind of schlocky romance. Like, it is also, it's a well-made show. But, like, I haven't read nearly as many romance novels as you, Jackie, but, like, right, my casual understanding of the genre. And I've read, you know, I'm more of the murder romance type, not the, like, sex romance type. But, like. And I'm new to sports. This is all new, that's a new, because I'm, I'm, you know, a monster fucker. Right. So this is very different. than the romance I usually am reading. Right. But it's like, yeah, we've all read airport paperback romances and we all know how the sex scenes are

described. And like, this feels much more like a, yeah, like in that, in that, it's like stylized, you know, in a way of like, it's like how you read a sex scene described in a romance novel, you know. Right. You know, it can't be all the sex scenes in Marty Supreme. I know that we're not talking about the Marty Supreme right now, but it was weird because I had gone right from watching like two hours of heated rivalry before I went to go see Marty Supreme.

And I just, man, I would rather watch Shane and Ilya fuck than watch Goop fuck. Yeah, I don't want to watch Goop. Their sex seeds were, they were good with Goop. They were surprisingly good, even though she, you know, you could tell that she had like some of the things dissolved in her face or whatever that she puts, she could kind of move her face. And it's just every sex scene I would watch, even though, I mean, it starts off the gate with an Odessa Zion, that Odessa's a Zion sex scene in Marty Supreme.

And she is, she's also an I love L.A. She's like hot, talk about hotie Supreme and the daughter of Pamela Adlin. 25 years old, yes, she is hot. Pamela Adlin who, yes, yeah, 25 years old, you can say it. And her mother does the voice of Bobby Hill. Oh, wow. And she is, I forgot why I was talking about it. Oh, because of Marty Supreme.

That was just me jumping from place to place just because there were multiple sex scenes in my life overbreak. But in heated rivalry, the sex scenes do serve a purpose. There's a moment, I forget if it's episode four or five, where they are hooking up at, like, Ilya's like kind of Airbnb because he's in town for, was it the All-Star game or something?

And instead of the four, formal like hollander rosanov like he just says oh fuck rosy and me and marie gas absolutely like as if it was like the biggest thing that has ever happened when they start when ilia just says shin like holy yeah when they start saying their first names to each other and honestly in the end and it's in the middle of like a big fuck scene and it's just so significant and it speaks volumes. I think we've all been in the situation where you're having a casual hookup situation with somebody and you have like some like this indicator of the distance and how it's like, oh, we're just using nicknames for each other. We're just like whatever thing you're doing

to be like, this is not really a thing. And then to like see that breakdown and be like maybe it is a thing. And then you get to the cottage. And there is. I want to go to the cottage. You know, you can say what you want about like the actual. like the sex of it. But then think about in the beginning of that episode, in the final episode, when they start hooking up and they have that beautiful moment

where they both tell each other that they hadn't been with anybody else since the last time they had seen each other. And it had been months. Yeah. And they're like starting to look up. And they had to like stop because they're having this like intense conference.

That scene was so beautiful. It was just such a, like, what a connection. between the two. I loved it. I mean, for me, that moment was, the moment in the cottage when Shane made too many hamburgers because he was too autistic. You should have doubled it.

Or you should have had it, right, or whatever? Because in the book, I've heard. I've heard that they go more into that, like, because Shane in the show is very serious-minded, very, like, business, very guarded, very private. it. And I think they kind of, in the show, I read it as just like, you know, he has this overbearing mother. He has to uphold like this standard of decorum because he's the first Asian, Canadian,

like superstar and all this stuff is happening. But apparently in the book, they just straight up say he's on the spectrum. And that, like, explains so much about his whole deal. Meanwhile, the actors themselves in the interviews, it's like, it's so funny because what's it? Connor is just so animated

such a little puppy dog man just like absolutely like kind of like vibrating instead of just the grim the grim kind of Russian Closed off and Hudson is this very savvy

very cool like media trained actor guy really? Oh yeah yeah he's like you know he's grown his hair out since he's wearing really fashionable clothes and he's like a very cool guy but he has like a little bit of like a dark sense of humor it's like they're very different

off screen and again the performances those two this show would not have been the show without those two I just saw like a couple of headlines that were just like this poorly acted piece of garage

and I'm just like come on can you just say you don't like romance like it's like you can say you don't like the show right again you think the show is not for me You could say it's not for me, this is not my thing, that's fine. Right. But come on, it's beautiful. Yeah, I don't think it's poorly acted at all.

Again, I can see people being like, this is not for me, not because I'm a homophore, but because I don't like this genre. You know, like it, again, it feels like reading a romance book, which is a certain type of experience, you know. But like, yeah, no, I think that's, that's dumb. People, I, I, at first, I wasn't that it wasn't that I was skeptical, but I was like, well, I don't need to get hoarding at 2 p.m. when I have 45 minutes to watch a show while I fold laundry.

Yes. But I was wrong. And I do. That is the thing because I have, when I was telling my good friend Julia Johns to watch it, I was like, don't watch it at work. Don't want, don't put it on. You know, it's really, it is. And I say that more for people that are not used to the fuck genre.

Because as someone like, I'm not to watch it. I'll watch it at 2 p.m. I watch it anymore. But I know that that's not everybody's back. You have hardcore gay sex on your laptop right now. Right. I have to or else I can't record. You know that. It centers you. It calms you. Yeah. I go throw. Yes. With it in. Yes. We have talked about this for 35 minutes. But I am going to bring up Celine Dion is the Grinch. Wow. Of all the things she could have brought up, I am bringing up Celine Dion is the Grinch. because I tell you what, that put such a huge smile on my face right before Christmas. She was so funny. I was like, oh, you're still, not still funny.

I didn't know she was funny at all. I was like, this is very funny. See, this is part of the reason why I'm obsessed with Celine Dion. Like, you watch it, she is also weirdly dark humor, genuinely, weirdly very funny, and also like goes with the flow in a way that you would. not expect. And I am only getting this from the documentary, but I, um, I feel like it wasn't in a way that it felt like it was being edited around to show her in that light. I did not expect her to have a sense of humor. And is that what, what's, is that a me problem? Were you expecting

her to be more stiff? Is that what you're saying? It's not the stiffness, Jake. Don't bring up the stiffness. It's she, she seemed like a stiff person before her diagnosis. She's so. She's so stiff and we got to loosen her up. It's a very rare disease. She's a very brave person for persevering. I do not mean to minimize the suffering of people suffering from stiff woman's disease. With a funny name. Terrible.

Terrible situation. Terrible. Unfortunately. I like it's only called stiff woman's disease regardless of how you identify. It's only stiff woman's disease. That's got to suck if you're a guy. I mean, it's like already you have this horrible disease and now you're fucking masculinity is getting. All of it's gone. But I actually, the first thing I thought when I saw her as the Grinch was all I could think of was how often Jim Carrey talks about how traumatized he was by getting into the Grinch character. In my head, I was like, Jackie, she wasn't traumatized. It was just the one time. It's not the same kind of prosthetic work. Don't worry about her. I did check to see that her nostrils were not covered, which was part of Jim Carrey's trauma. That while he was in the suit, he could only breathe through his mouth. Oh, God.

And this has ruined the grinch for me. He had an allergic reaction to the yak fur in the costume. It took like eight hours stuck in the chair to apply it. I'm, there's, there's, now there's Celine Dion. There's also the, was it, Walton Goggins in those Walmart ads or something? Oh, really? Is he in full Grinch? Wow, I can't believe we can't believe we can do that.

I assumed, I assumed that, like, the Jim Carrey Grinch was like a universally reviled product of that and the Mike Myers can in the hat. I thought that whole moment. of live-action suits movies. Oh, no, people love it. I was around for this. We were all clowning on it. They looked awful. But apparently this, like, people grew up with these. They love them.

I think that they have, you're totally, you're both right? And it's so weird, because I have also tried to figure this out. There is, like, this, everybody thought they were stupid and disturbing when they came out. But now because they came out in whatever, the early 2000s, they just have this, like, automatic nostalgia, like, it's, it's, like, between the fact that, getting, the hat, I don't think, I don't think that has survived the test of time. But there's, it's like, the Grinch just as a text, because of, because of the text, because it's Jim Carrey and because it's from, it's the nostalgia of the fact that it came out when

we were all younger and it's streaming, I think that it has been completely rehabbed. And now everyone's like, oh, yes, that classic torture movie. Weird. Yeah, yeah. I can only think of it as a torture movie, but I know that every year people re-remember that Cindy Lou who is now grown up and they're like, and she's in a band. It's like every, it's like, yep, she's in a band. Yep, she plays.

Where are you Christmas? Yep. That's the thing. That's, I maybe it's just because I really can only think about the torture of Jim Carrey when I think about this movie. Walton Gagons looks good as the Grinch though, Jackie. Wait, when you say he looks good, you mean the makeup is effective or like you're feeling, feelings? I just say, we feel very strong feelings about Walton Gagons.

I'm not saying I want to fuck Walton Gagans as the Grinch, but I am saying he's the most fuckable Grinch I've seen. Oh, he's definitely the most fuckable Grinch I've seen. I refuse to comment on the fuckability in the Grinch canon. I think he's bringing some some sexiness to the Grinch. Which one's hotter, Jake? What do you think? Which is my place to say?

Come on, give us a rating. You're a mean one, Jackie Cee. Hell yeah, I am. I just feel like out of like jingle bells, like out of five jingle bells of heat, you know, which is what I was experiencing with heated rivalry coming out over Christmas. It was so difficult because my mom was in town and I wanted to watch it so badly and I had to wait for her to leave town. Yeah, you can't watch that even if she's downstairs. No, I couldn't.

I couldn't. No, if she was anywhere near me, I couldn't watch it with her. No, no. Not because of the gay stuff. She just hates Russians. No, it's honestly, it has nothing to do with the gay stuff. It's just that I am still, I'm 38 years old and I still get uncomfortable watching sex stuff with my mother. Yeah, I don't think that ever goes away.

I'm not alone in this. No. Am I alone? Does anybody want to watch heated rivalry with their parent? If you do, please sound off in the comments. This is the thing, though, but I do know some friends that have grown up that have like a mother-daughter relationship that now they do. watch this stuff together. So I'm not I'm not, I ain't judge and it's just

my, my relationship with my mother never really went through that transformation. No, I turn it to a 12 year old again where I'm like, I can't acknowledge that sex, I have two children, you know, but I'm like, I've never heard of sex. What are you talking about? Your parents are literally holding the consequence of your sex

and they're like, well, this happened miraculously. Yeah, I'm like, I can't, I don't know that, I can't watch a sex scene with you because I don't know that that exists yet. You do refer to your children as the consequences of your sex, right? I said product. Here come the consequences of my sex.

That sounds almost Shakespearean, honestly. It does. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Now, I know that I've got to get into the list here, but I did want to just, this is outside of everything. I just wanted to make sure I read this, or maybe do I keep

the little, do I keep this little note for second helpings? Oh, let me look. It's about, it's about Ariana Grande. I saw, let's, let's save that one for second helpings. It would, save it for second helpings. I don't have a latent meister take. I'm very comfortable.

Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. There's some very, there's various Ariana news to check in on, that we can check in on tomorrow. She's gained 400 pounds. Wow. It's so inspiring. Impressive. Oh my God, she just starts wearing a fat suit everywhere. We're like Ariana.

We know it's a fat suit. No. I did it. I'm better now. Oh, God, girl. We got to talk about this. I already had a shallow hell moment. Oh, no.

I, all right, listen, if we get, even with the fucking explosion of Hollywood, even with the fucking Paramount and Netflix, destroying everything we hold dear, if we get in the right room and pitch Ariana Grande in a shallow halry. And shallow halry, make we give them what they want. Who's not seeing that? Who's not seeing that? I'm going to go see it. In fact, you bring Jack Black back. Yeah.

And I wanted to happen to him again. I want the, like, it's like, it's like a groundhog's day for Jack Black, but it's like, is he the same? Because he's Jack Black, the guy who was in shallow, how, yes. Oh, it's like the Barbie movie. It's meta on meta on meta. Guys, this is big. This is, we shouldn't be saying this into a microphone. This is like, okay, copyright.

Patent pending. And then Cynthia Revo also starts wearing a fat suit all the time out of sympathy or whatever. When they're holding fat fingers. And they call it sausage fingers. and a sausage We're done holding space We're making space We are the space

I hope this for both of them And I can't wait To get them in the room And pitch it to them And see the light Leave their eyes That's when they became violent Actually both of them

Look at them go But it's time for the list Everybody Oh Who's on the list Jackie Gotta have that list list. Famous people who were turned away, kicked out, or even banned from public places or

events. Now, this one starts off strong. If you remember, and I'll, this is my, never forget. James Corden was banned from Balthazar, a popular in NYC restaurant. The owner explained an Instagram post that on one occasion, Gordon was very nasty to the staff after he found a hair in his food, and that on another occasion, he flipped out on the server when they messed up his wife's order, which was when they put the egg whites in her egg, they put the egg yolk in her egg white omelet? Is that, no, no, it was an egg yolk omelet and they put an egg white in it, right? Yes. It's specifically, yeah, the, oh yeah, no, MJ, please.

No, well, our joke on tour when we brought this up was how can you tell if there's egg whites in the egg yolk omelette? You could only tell if there was egg yolks in an egg white omelet. You can't tell. Yeah. It's just going to look yellow. Also, the omelet was already made. yes, it's just going to look yellow. And it's like in this instance, did the wife bite into it and go, no, there's a wine.

You cannot taste whites. You can't taste them. This story must be misreported. Yeah, I'm looking myself right now. And I just taste salty. Thank God you said it. I was like, do I say it? And Jackie was like, don't worry.

I'll pick it up. No, this story is my biggest question mark. It doesn't make any sense. From a molecular gastronomy standpoint, I don't think all. Egg yolks can even omelitize. I think you need the protein matrix. This is not important. No, no, but it is.

No, I like that. We've been talking about this story for years. I need to know who orders an egg yolk. You know who would order an all yolk omelet, a hockey player? Like, I don't think sports needs like seven egg yolks with no white. I feel like this must be a misreported story, but we'll never know. We are never going to know. Now, I don't know if this is a misreported story either.

because I have heard in the wind that Ruby Rose is a difficult person to work with. I don't care. They're the hottest person I've ever seen. God, they are just very, very attractive. But Ruby Rose got kicked out of Rebellion Bar and Urban Kitchen, a New Orleans restaurant. After the owner claimed she cursed out the bartender and threw food at him during a tantrum. Now, Rose has explained that her assistant and her manager waited 60 minutes for fries and 90 minutes for food that never came. when she told the bartender he offered them drinks

but she politely declined because she's sober the bartender then made offensive comments about her sobriety and even told her to go call her fucking sponsor Rose responded by throwing fries at him do we feel that that is the whole story

no I don't think it is but we can't properly say which side because I would assume that I don't think any bartender I've ever met and I no many of them, if someone says, no, thank you, I'm sober, I couldn't imagine them. I'd be like, oh, you fucking not going to drink.

No bartender ever wants to attack somebody's sobriety. Every bartender I've ever met is thrilled for people's sobriety. Loves it. Thank you for your sobriety. I love this for you. But, I mean, this did happen in New Orleans, and there are a bunch of untrustworthy swamp tramps. Yeah, that's why I love it down there. So maybe...

Tell me more about the swamp tramps. Maybe he deserved to get a bowl of turtle soup chucked at his head. Whoa, man, and turtle soup pretty good. We did actually get the really good, Henry and I got some real good turtle soup last time we were in Norlands. It just tastes like, it's like when you're eating gator. It's kind of like fishy chicken. I've always avoided. I love the food in New Orleans, but I've always avoided the turtle soup, so I don't know.

Oh, get a little snotty in there. Everybody loves a little big dose of snot in their... Unless it's served in the shell, I don't want to hear it. You want a turtle on the half show? Because I can give you that, I guess. We've got to go to the sewers. Look at me. I'd made a nerd joke.

I'm very proud of you, Jackie. Did you good? Did you hear it? Oh, my God. Also, sidebar. Jake, not to say that just because you're on nerd of mouth that you would be proud of me, that I got a, and you know what, MJ, maybe you'd be proud of me too, that I got a Marvel thing.

over on Who's the Bitch? I am jumping, jumping shows right now because I will throw it out there, definitely listen to the Who's the Bitch episode that I believe drops this week because this person wrote in being like, my boyfriend is great and I have no idea why he got me this for Christmas

and she had sent in a picture of what it was and I figured out that it was a knockoff rocket rack from Guardians of the Galaxy as a charm because she had said, it just looks like a little fox with a gun. And I don't know why I would want that. But the guy also didn't know that it was a rocket raccoon. Still, why would he get it for it?

Does she like Rocky raccoon? So this is, the thing is that we just figured it out on the show. So we have to wait for her to respond because we figured out that it's a rocket raccoon. but he had just said I just thought it was cute so even no matter what I doubt the person is a huge Marvel fan but I felt really proud of myself

that I looked at it and said I think that that's the I mean to be fair Adam did have to tell me the name of the raccoon because I was calling him Rocky raccoon but I thought but Rocky raccoon I mean that's like that is the biggest of the raccoon celebrities right

yeah he's named yeah he's named yeah he's named after the Beatles song. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So that makes sense, but. So, yeah, so he's the, like, so Rocky is the OG. Rocket, sorry. I know, I've already called him Rocky as well. I still, yeah, no, this is a tough one.

Because unless their relationship is, has like a frequently brought up inside joke about Rocket Raccoon, it still seems like the fundamental miss is, why did you get me this? Why did you get me? Maybe she's a fan of the movie, uh, Limitless and Silver Linings Playbook. and she's just, like, crazy for Bradley Cooper and doesn't really. Yeah. Oh. The world's only Bradley Cooper stamp. Yes.

And maybe his daughter, is it right? Isn't he, like, really close with his daughter? In the sense that they use the bathroom together. They used the bathroom together. That's what it was. I knew there was something. In answer to your question, Jackie, I, not just as the co-host of last podcast networks, hit geek pop culture show, nerd of mouth, but as a friend, I am proud of you.

Thank you. I needed to hear. I just want. I'm always proud of you. Thank you. Thank you, MJ. I'm always proud of you. I'm proud of you, Jake, as well. Why? I'm done shit. What do you mean? I've been undermining you behind the scenes for years. Jake, you came out of the ether to talk to me, to talk to us, to talk to we about heated rivalry. Are you kidding? You did. All the thing you said, all the things you said, running through my head, right it through my head. In 2013, Madonna was banned from the the Alamo draft house movie theater chain after texting during a screening of 12 years of slave. That's the one thing you can't do there. The theater has a strict. No talking.

No texting policy. And during the film, Madonna was allegedly texting and then lashed out at another moviegoer who told her to stop. That's amazing. Of course, Madonna sees like a giant thing that's like, don't text. We are making it a big deal

if you, the person seeing this text. And Madonna just being like, well, that's something for me. No. That's not about me. Twelve years of slave is such a funny movie to be texting during. I feel like maybe this has come up for, because I'm just like, that, but you can't. It couldn't wait?

What did you need to say? Like, what did you have to get out there? It's like the optics of being like, I'm going to go to this movie and not pay attention is such a bold choice of her. It's a bold choice, especially. But you know, Madonna, she's got a Madonna and there ain't nothing we can do about it. We've tried. We've tried to do something about it.

I think her kids have tried. I think it's just, I think they're just kind of letting Madonna do what she does until she goes too far. And when do you think she's going to go too far? I feel like at some point she's going to cross a line. She's been trying to go too far for years. And everybody's like, shut up, you're Madonna. We know whatever you're doing, it's for attention. We don't care.

There's just a certain amount of good songs you can produce that then it doesn't matter how many dog bulls you drink out of afterwards. You're good. Like you did, like a prayer, you can drink out of a dog bowl as much as you want, you know? If I took a holiday, it would be so nice. You know, she saluted a painting of it. Yeah, whatever. You know, she's just like doing her thing. Although I will say I was getting my nails done over the weekend.

And in the nail salon, they usually have music videos always playing. And someone had just put in Madonna, so it was just playing Madonna music videos the entire time I was in there, which I'm now. with you know I'll listen to Madonna but man she had this great Italians do it better shirt that I now need to go find because I remember my sister also having a shirt that said Italian girls do it better. Was that the Papa Don't Preach video? It was the Papa Don't Preach video it was the Papa Don't Preach video and because all I could think about was man thinking about how hot Madonna is at that time period wearing an Italian girls do it better shirt and I was like

Of course she got knocked up. But that's not the point of the song. And that's not the point of this list. No, we're going on. In 1994, Martin Lawrence was rumored to be banned from S&L after going off script in his monologue where he shared his opinions on women's hygiene and genitals that were too inappropriate by the show's standards.

He said, you know, some women will let you go down. You know what I'm saying? Knowing they got a yeast infection? I'm sorry, sorry. Come up with dough all on your damn lip. Got a bagel and a croissant on your lip. Anybody got butter? I like jelly on mine.

It is funny. It is technically, I mean, it is, of all the things he could have said, really not in 1994? Yeah. That's not that bad. That's funny. No, it is interesting. The silence from voting. Yeah.

because like that the thing that the violation was just acknowledging that yeast infections are a thing was the line whereas I was just like oh that's such a hack joke like that's like oh this has come up I do feel like this one also is for some reason like on many lists and that every time I read it I'm just like this joke no I'm not scandalized by it I just am like eye rolling at it but I guess in 1994 I think right The crime was to acknowledge either the existence of yeast infections or condolingus. The existence of going down on somebody. Yeah. I think it is.

I feel like it was more that. Yeah. I think it was that too. But in 2017, Jamie Fox was kicked out of a restaurant in West Hollywood after he was attacked by another customer. The customer went up to Fox and his friends complaining that they were too loud. The patron said, you don't want to mess with me. I'm from New York. And Fox's friend responded with, fuck you, I'm from Oakland.

Other patrons say they saw the customer lunge at Fox. and an altercation started. Then the customer, Fox, and Fox's group were all kicked out of the restaurant. It's funny that this happened in West Hollywood and everyone's just fighting about being from somewhere else. From somewhere else because, of course, no one's going to be in West Hollywood being like, I'm from West Hollywood and I will destroy you. I do think it is funny where one is going to.

Repair for a walloping. It's beautiful. Hollywood, California. I just, I'm from New York. I'm from Oakland. It's like, okay. Oh, wow. We're scared of the fisticuffs, guys.

And last but not least, Rita ORA revealed she was once turned away from a Gordon Ramsey restaurant because she did not meet the dress code. She showed up wearing a track suit and sneakers wanting to have a meal, but told her that they wouldn't accommodate her. Sneakers are Ramsey. I feel like you... I know celebs are just like, us, but I feel like a celebrity, you're married to Tyca Waititi, you're coming in the restaurant.

What year was this? Or maybe pre-Tyca? We don't know. It does not say. Because I feel like Rita Ora has spent the majority of her life acting as if she is Rita ora now. Does that make sense? Interesting, yes.

She feels very, like, very like, not an industry plan, but, like, wants to be an industry plan. Does that make sense? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. of, of just, I feel like she's never, Rita or has never, like, exploded in the way of so many of the pop stars we know. But then, I feel like in watching, she was so much of an it girl, I think, for a while

and definitely, like, treated as such that, you're right. I think that she was acting like she's 20, 26, Ritaora back then. Yeah. That's my, that's my pitch. That's the only way this story makes full sense. Because, of course, some A-lister shows up. I'm sure that track suit costs more than, like, the house I grew up.

I was going to say, you know it's a really expensive track suit, but, and as somebody, I've been in my track suit era since our tour started in 2022, and it's great, and I'm fully a track suit convert. But yeah, I don't know. If you're going to go to a nice restaurant, you got to put on a jacket or something, put on something. 2017. It was 2017.

Apparently, she confronted Ramsey about it later on the Jonathan Ross show, where he invited her back, although she also faced back. backlash for hosting a large illegal birthday party at another restaurant during the COVID-19 lockdowns. And so I think it's fine between them. I think that they figured it out and I think everything's okay. Yeah, I think that's fine. All right, well, Jackie, is that your list?

It's my list. Well, perfect timing because I am having trouble seeing what's coming next. I think I'm going. Wide. Items. I can't see up. Okay. What if this is the, like, no, then.

the rhinovirus is actually taken hold and i actually have gone blind you know it's actually one of my symptoms i am nervous for you i don't know what's going on with me man but there's no way forward but no way through no way through but forward i don't know yeah something's going to happen um okay blind number one there has been zero sign of the boyfriend since the a list singer supposedly got engaged we talked about this engagement a lot when it happened it has to be Travis Kelsey, right? No, but that is a good guess. No, we like this singer

much, much more. She got engaged. We, Jackie in particular, was not thrilled about the man that she got engaged to, but maybe that's good news because he seems to have disappeared. Ah, my wee. Yes. It's Mywee. It is Miley. And of course, I chose

this item because there is also a tie-in to heated rivalry because Francois Arnaud, the guy who plays the other... Shane. No, not Shane, the other guy. No, Scott Hunter. Oh, Scott, Scott, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said that he wants Miley to do a song for Heeded Rivalry Season 2.

Oh, and has she responded yet? She has not responded yet. Let's see, Heated Rivalry star, Francois, Rano reacts to Miley Cyrus. Oh, Miley Cyrus. She's so in. She wants to. She's so in. She's so in, you're right.

Riley Cyrus so in for heated rivalry music. Book me, get me booked. Yes, Viley. Oh, my God. That's why we love you, Miley. Yes, bitch. All right, so she is in. But apparently Max Morondo is missing.

So, bye, by weasel face. Get going. Go buy your own lighters. And there's like a timeline. This links to like a timeline of their relationship, which just ends in December of 2025

the last time he's been seen. So I'm sure everything's fine. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure he's just on holiday break from dealing with Miley Cyrus. He needs a break too. I give by myself a lot. Yeah, she's fine. That's the song's all about that.

Yeah. She'll need him. All right. This is another, another involves some of our faves. Well, faves, not exactly. The three-named singer still isn't getting to sleep with the foreign-born actress. I shouldn't have said faves. That's really good.

to throw you off. We don't like this person, but we do like to talk about him. He's got three names. He is sleeping with this very hot foreign-born actress who all of us are scratching our heads. Why? Why? Although apparently they're not even fucking is the story. If you need a hint, let me know. I have a hint, but it's going to give it away. Jeremy Allen White. No, older. Older. Older and worse. We hate him. Older and worse. Oh, David Harbor? No, that's two names, Jake. David Allen Harbor You better put those

butt plugs back to the Twain Reed I still sometimes laugh about your Sarah Jessica Marker joke Jake When Jackie was talking about SJM, the author of her romance books I don't know if that was me No, it was you

It was just a little Jake quip But it was very good Billy Ray Cyrus Yes Oh and Elizabeth Heroin Oh, daughter daddy blinds today. Daughter daddy blinds. Yes, my hint was either going to be that we just talked about his child

or that she loves to kiss her son, both true. Oh, baby, does Elizabeth Hurley love to kiss her son? Have you looked into this at all? It comes up every time I've been on the show. Oh, yeah, so it just comes up every episode. And like MJ, I'm feeling a little Hurley, the more we talk about it. Yeah, yeah, Hurley's getting through the phone. Elizabeth Hurley, and I'm talking about myself.

No, but she was dressed as a bond girl for New Year's Eve. Do you guys see these pictures? She's hot, man. She's so hot. It's not fair. She still got it. She shouldn't be with Billy Ray Cyrus. I know.

Well, apparently she's not, but like they are. But look up, look up Billy. She's 60, man. She's 60. She's 60 years old. And she is. And look her hot son is there. Yeah. A little different than the um 50, isn't it? Yeah. No, it's different. But her son is there with her. And they're sucking on each other. They're sucking on each other. But they, she posted like a very sexless picture with Billy Ray Cyrus in matching Christmas jammies. No shade to anyone who did matching Christmas jammies with your spouse. That's fun. But it is very funny to see her like half naked with her son and then fully clothed with her.

partner. Um, it's just, it's a big juxtaposition. She, I think it, I don't know why they're together if they're not sleeping together. Why else would you, oh, they're like really, they're full jam. Yeah, that is the least sexy picture. Meanwhile, scroll up, see her with Damien and she's like, you know, it's like hated rivalry over here. It's, it's, it's disgusting. Oh, yeah. All right. There's nothing incestual about heated rivalry. I know. It's only, it's only like heated rivalry in the sense that they're both naked and yes. And their bodies are ridiculous.

Close to each other in a sexual way, okay? You're right. There's nothing disgusting about heated rivalry. There is a lot of disgusting things about. Although weirdly wolf parade is the background music in part. Well, then that's what, like, so Miley, are you going to do old Miley or are you going to do new Miley because it's not going to be sick? Because it's already getting picked up for a second season.

That's great. I hope they give them less money. I just like, they can't, like, whatever they did this time was perfect, whatever, like, workarounds they had, like, all the scenes with the press conferences. There was never a report. They're just sitting at a table. Oh, yeah. But, like, the Foley work, the light flashes, it feels big. There's, like, that entire scene in the aquarium where Shane's with his buddy and, like, the buddy is, like, yelling at his kids the whole time and you hear the kids in the background.

But, like, they didn't have to hire child actors. They didn't have to do any of that shit. No. There was like one stunt baby for one shot and then it's clearly a dummy for the rest. Like this thing is so efficient. Yes. It is like as someone that like dreams of making stuff that they got such an intense and effective story out with like nothing to work with. And also for those curious, HBO did not make the show.

The Canadian company called Crave made the show originally and HBO bought the show from Crave. So that's why it had such a smaller budget and that and why it's a Canadian show. and not. Now, just before I do to go on to the last blind, I am seeing there's a little bit more discourse around the Miley and heated rivalry thing, which is that she said that she hasn't watched the show yet, but it's on her to-do list. And so then people were like, well, don't say yes if you're not going to, if you haven't watched the show. But you know what? A lot of us had it on our to do list for a couple of weeks. And so I'm going to give that to Miley. That's fine. Come on. It was over the holidays. It was difficult for some of us to be around family and

also watch heated rivalry, okay? It was difficult. Exactly. Okay, so blind number three, and this is fun. Apparently, the A-list actress singer and her A-list co-star are not speaking to each other anymore, which will make award season awkward. No, how are we going to get them in the fat suits? I know. Oh, my God, we're going to have to separately approach them to get them.

We'll pitch the show separately to each of them, but then you have to tell them that the other one's got actually it might sell it even better because then they're in a feud and so they want to one up each other i just i love this because there's no way that you can be that weird with somebody for two years in like a show bubble like the show show mans but friendship version without it bursting at some point and then being like i hate that bitch you know so i love the idea that the theater kids curse exactly is but honestly even i still do that With songs, like I will, like, if I become obsessed with a song, maybe it's because I'm mentally ill. I will listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until I can't stand it anymore.

Yeah. No, that's relatable. I have problems. I'm fine. It's 2026. It's for digs. It's fine. There is a graveyard of songs that I ruined for myself because I would make them like the alerts on my phone during that era where you could customize ringtones all the time.

Hot blooded naked see. That's what I had. I've got a feeble of a hundred and three. Oh my gosh. And that's all it would do. And that's like the song you heard before like you got broken up with before you got fire. Oh my God.

Oh, yeah, maybe. You have jury duty. Oh, yeah. One of my best friends in 2005, 2006, he was like one of our first friends to get the razor phone. And he made his ringtone crazy by Narls Barkley. And it was like, it was, you know, it was 2005. When it was everywhere. And we all lived in like a loft together.

There was like 12 people living in a loft together. So it would go off and everybody would just be like, don't turn it on. Shut it off. That made me crazy. Oh my God. And it would be crazy. It would make me crazy. It was the best.

I loved it. I was like, man, never change. But yes, I do miss that. We have, we just got a new doorbell. Thank you. And we did. Oh, my, I can't believe you didn't leave that. Oh, M.

Over an hour in, we find out now. There was an energy about you. Yeah, when you came on, I was like, is it a door knocker? Did she just get her new door? Is it a knob thing? Is it like... But my wonderful husband made the dingy

to be Old Lanzan, which I love. So now any time somebody brings a doorbell, we hear Old Lanzine, and I don't want to change it. Oh, no. I want to keep it. MJ, you can't.

at how long of old lang syne? It's like definitely like an entire like do do do do do do do do do do do the front like of your home every time, every time a package. Yeah. No. Like do we get to like for old langsine. No, we don't get to the best. That's the best part.

No, we don't get to that. But it does give me actually. I love that song so much. It's kind of giving me old langsine blue balls like I need to hear the rest. I'll tell neighborhood children. that they can ding-jong pitch your apartment and it's fine. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Ding, ding. Ah, just MJ, this is it. I didn't know that this was going to be the year that MJ is supernova. But this is going to be it, and I'm excited. I'm kind of excited. Yeah, I'm going to change it to something real fun after this. When the Saints was like a threat or something. Oh, God.

That old gray mare, she ain't what you used to be. All the Benners. Yeah. I don't want her. You can have her. She's too fat for me. She's too fat for me. She's too fat for me.

Hey. Sorry, that was one of my dad's old Polish songs. Well, I can see again, but I can't hear anymore because I don't want to hear that song again. Oh, come on. It's a polka. MJ. You just got to let the polka into your heart. 2026.

How are we feeling? Do you feel that you got all of, I feel, sated. I just want to say thank you. I guess I now should apologize to people for spending so much of the show talking about heated rivalry. But also, I don't feel bad about it. I think the thing is, it's the first show of 2026. And Jackie, as you pointed out, there is, all the celebrities have been doing is taking pictures themselves in their Christmas onesies, you know. And we've discussed that. So I think that bringing, I think discussing the hottest show of the moment was a good way to spend it. no better way to ring in the new year than with Jake. Yes. Thank you. If you, I mean, who am I talking to on this podcast audience that hasn't heard about?

It hasn't watched. It hasn't loved it. But if you haven't seen it yet, it's so good. It's such a like wonderful, just a piece of business. I really am for. They are standing on business. Yeah. The execution, the writing, the editing, the cinematography.

The just like in a world where everything on streaming is so bloated. and so over budget and fizzles out because like everything like everything from Game of Thrones to Sherlock to the stranger things all these like big like things that just kind of don't know they just never stick the landing this is just like maybe a near perfect six episodes of television it's a story you've never really heard before in a way you've never seen before I just it's once you see it you just like upset that not even more people aren't talking about it right yeah and the fact that it is six episodes. Every episode is between 45 and 50 minutes. So it's also not something that is, it's not a Stranger Things season five. Like it is not just like, how am I going to have the time that every episode is almost a movie length? Like how are you supposed to watch all of that? And also, I guess question for you, MJ. Yeah. Stranger Things, did they show the final episode in the theaters? Is that what they did? Like I saw some kind of... They released it to Netflix in the theater at the same time.

So it was, so they released all of the season. On New Year's Day or New Year's Eve or whatever, right? Yeah. But in the AMC? The, like, last, that's what they were playing? Like the finale finale. Just the, which was also the end of it.

Yeah, you know, maybe we'll talk more about it tomorrow. Jake, have you, are you a stranger things? Have you been watching? I bounced off season two and never looked back. Same bitch. I honestly found myself, like, it was this weird, like, grief is way. too strong a word. But I will say I was feeling like sadness while watching season five because I remember how much I loved season one. And like really like being like this is so cool. This is so

interesting. I really haven't seen a show like this. And I was just thinking about like how different things felt like in in television and pop culture in 2016 and like how exciting it was to see something that felt so new and interesting. And I felt so invested in the characters and all that. And then, like, watching season five, I was just like, I kept being like, I want to feel something for this. Like, yes, I did watch these kids grow up before our eyes. Yes, they've been building this story. But I was like, I felt sadness for the lack of how I, of like, feeling for it. And I missed what it had been, you know, and I don't know whether the takeaway from that is like,

they should have just stopped sooner, which I think is the takeaway from, but like, and I know a lot of people loved it, but I'm just like, man, you know, there was, it was something that was so excited. Like, seeing D&D, you know, and nerds, like a nerd culture, like, it was like really fun, you know, and then it just turned into this thing where we're like, what are we doing here? Well, it's also, there are years in between seasons. Like, we're seeing this with the pit. I don't want people to be grinding their gears so they never get time off, but the pit was a huge show, not that long ago. The next season comes out this week. It starts this week. It's the, the momentum is still there. I wouldn't have known

if they didn't preview it before heat and air. I can't wait for the pit. The charge nurse is back. Oh my God. I'll do anything for her. The pits coming back this week. Traders is coming back this week. There's going to be, you know, we got some good stuff coming down the pipeline and I'm excited about all of it. But before we get out of here, MJ, you can see, right? I can see, yes.

And I know that you're not making smooth pastas. Is that what it was? I can see. I can't eat. But you got But we can. And Jake, you know, I had a juke. I had a Jake juke at the last second. But I don't know if this is your kind of your jams or not. Now, if there's something I'm really no. I'm sorry, it's Jackie Snackies. It's time for Jackie Snackies. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Somebody gonna try those candies. I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead. If there's one thing I'm noticing in the world of snackies,

it is that everything is juicing right now. Everything. And I know that I was really excited about juicy gusher, not that gushers, the juicy clusters. And I loved the juicy clusters. But everything. Sounds like an STD, but go on. Yes.

Yeah, it definitely sounds like something you don't want to have. Yeah, but I love that 24 hours from now I've been developed by juicy clusters. Oh, God, MJ. Where are your juicy clusters going to form? I can't believe Martin Lawrence got kicked off of S&L for making a joke about juicy clusters. If he had brought up the juicy clusters,

maybe the joke would have fun. It would be fine. Now, I found these weird ones. I was at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, and I found these gummies. Now, are you a chewy fruity? Honestly, I think this makes me Millennial-coated.

I still love a chocolate bar over of Chewy fruity where I know the Gen Z and the Gen Alphas they have abandoned the way of the Mars, the way of the Hershey, and they're all in on just chewy fruities. Yeah, they only want fruit. I'm also a big chewy fruity bitch myself,

but I guess I'm part of the older half of chewy furies. And these are, they're called Lysu and they're eyeballs that they're called eyeball burst gummies and they are these creep, they're big they're like the size of

like a rubber ball you get out of a coin machine Yeah, it is very super ball. Very evocative. They are beautiful green eyes but I am so worried about the consistency of the gush

specifically of these. And Jake, you don't have to join me on this journey. Oh, I'm in for a penny and for a pound. Okay, all right, all right. We're in for it. The goose is mooch. That's a big goosh to deal with. Okay, so each one, okay, so the outside,

these are coverings. I thought that they were printed on it. I've seen a very similar format with like globes, gummy globes, where, yeah, there was printing on the plastic kind of enclosure. This is very weird, because it was with it. So I don't know.

I've never heard of Lysu before, but there were so many different kinds of Lysus. And then so it's in this little circle. Like, I feel like I'm pulling out a bowling ball from a bowling ball bag. It's a plastic cram shell. It very tightly sealed. Oh, my God.

I can't get it open. Wait, hold. You really got to jam your finger in the tab. Oh, I know. It feels like some sort of like 19th century method for delivering medicine, you know? Oh. Like, oh, yeah, I get in it. Oh, yeah.

It has a very strong, like, kind of fake, like juicy fruit, like pan fruit scent. I can't get a specific... Is that like a pan flute? Stop stalling and get gushed. I don't want to get gushed. Oh, my God, it is... Oh, the texture of this is upsetting. Very soft.

MJ, I don't know if you... You might want to back away. You might want to take your headphones off for a moment. Jay because I'm about to because the eyeball part of it is still there so oh Jake went in I'm going in oh okay okay very soft gummy varies more like um and it's got it's got the um wow this juice pure corn syrup sour apple corn syrup in the middle sour apple corn syrup in the middle wow it is sour You know, that's so big. The outside gummy reminds me of the haribos that are the fluffy herobos, and those are not my favorite.

Oh. Although I recently have been falling into the fun-tastic mix and, oh, fluffy heribos, what are you talking about? They do bury clouds and stuff. Exactly, the gummy is airways. Exactly. So that's what the outside of this tastes like. It's a high hydration gummy. But I am going to, I'm going to, uh, uh, uh, yeah, she's looking out the goo.

I'm looking out the hole. Now, the hole, I thought the juice was looser than it was. Yeah, no, very thick syrup. S&L routine? What are we doing here, Jackie? Uh-oh, oh, I got the bread on my lid. The question of what is I got crossaw over here? Um, I like the juice on the inside more than the fluf on the outside.

Oh, I'm the opposite. I like, I love a soft gummy. Oh, you are, okay. This is good to know. I'm reminded of, did you ever see, I feel like you get them at, like, Asian stores or sometimes the Five Below has them, like, the... Five below, they got good Haribos over there, maybe.

The grape that are in the 3D shape of the grape in the plastic enclosure. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Very similar, soft, high hydration gummy. Yes, high hydration, you're so right because it's not... It ain't draw. Mm-mm. That ain't no draw about it.

But all in all, it's... Fingers are tacky. It's a nice hit a sugar. Yes. I wouldn't reach for a second one. No, but I would definitely love to, in front of, like, a seven-year-old be like, and then I'm going, and they're like, no, don't it. I'm like, I want to, like, eat the eye.

Like, I want to put them all in my mouth and be like, and scaring a seven-year-old. That's what I want to do with these. Yeah, I mean, my kids love, love, love the toilet candy. So any, any, I think that the eyeball is a fun idea. Are you talking about what you put in the toilet? MJ, don't start calling it this. I think that we need to.

come up with a different term. I assume there's some kind of candy brand where it's like pixie sticks, powder, but like in a plastic toilet that you scoop out. Yeah, that's it. And then the lollipop is shaped like a plunger, and you put the plunger in the toilet. It's my kid's favorite candy. Yeah. No, it's disturbing.

Dump powder? I would have done that when I was a kid if my parents had let me buy that can. I think my parents were like, no, you can't buy that plastic candy. He was the last time you had a fun dip. I had a fun dip on Halloween, and I thought my. teeth were going to fall out. And I eat chewy fruities all the time. But man, you forget fun dip is literally just, wow. They just give you a pile of sugar. And a sugar stick. And a sugar stick to dip it. That's nuts. Sometimes I just want the stick. Yeah. I get it. I get it.

Well, that's, that's, I feel like that's, this is, tells us something about your personality as a young person that you just wanted the stick. I also ate chalk. There's no, no, don't make that connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kids just got this candy yesterday. because they, we live above a bodega, and so they're doing their own, they're on their own Jackie Snacky's journey of trying every, like, the most plastic flashy candy that is at the bodega. And there is now candy that is a rock paper scissors candy where it is a plastic hand that comes with buttons that you can either have the hand be paper, rock, or scissors, and you can play

rock paper scissors with the candy. And at first I was like, this is an abomination. and now we've been just playing rock paper scissors excessively with it. It is very fun. That sounds awesome. So keep your eyes out for the rock paper scissors candy if you're out there. Okay. I definitely will.

And oh my gosh, I just saw something for a future. Jackie's Slakies in the future. I might take over for the next time you're on. You might have to bring a Slakey R2 for a Jakey. I did bring a Jakey Slakey. Oh, you did? I thought we were last minute. It was last minute.

I didn't get to do my usual perusal of like the psychopathic... You still brought something? I just, in honor of Shane Hollander... I'm en honor of the love of Ilya Rosanov and Shane Hollander, a cold ginger ale. Oh, my God, and it's Canada dry. Oh, my God, Jake, and it's Canada dry, which I don't know. It's fucking ginger ale. We don't need to review it.

I just needed to acknowledge. You're so sweet. I love this so much. And I love because, oh, there was a... I'm not... Is the gingerbread of a cult? What? Is the gingerna colt?

Oh my God. Because he knew that Jane loves ginger ale. He loves ginger ale. And then in the Russian speech, he talks about the way he expresses love is to make sure that people have the right food. Oh my God. He made the tuna melt for him. And I love that. And Shane doesn't eat tuna milk.

Oh, my God. He eats macrobriotic food, but he ate the fucking tuna melt for him. He ate it for him. He ate it for him. Thank you for the Canada dry. Welcome to 226, everybody. Yes, I hope that you are feeling it. I hope that you are elongated, extended, throbbing, ready to take on this firehorse of a year,

which, yeah, that goes out to all my... For my forever people online, if they're hearing about the firehorse, I'm probably going to talk about Firehorse on Thursday, but we got to get the hell out of here. Jake, where can we find you? Staring at Connor's story is incredibly round butt for the next week or so. Look at that butt.

Look at that butt. But yeah, obviously listen to a nerd-a-mouth right here on the last podcast network. Me, Holda, McNeely, Mike Lawrence. It's a wonderful show. I'm very proud of what we've been doing these past few weeks. And you can check me out on Twitch, twitch.

tv slash puppet Jared. That's the name my little V-Tuber avatar. Thursday's 7 p.m. Eastern is the cartoon dumpster. flagship stream where we watch some of the weirdest, most gonzow cartoons from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s. If you tune in this week, I'll be watching the 90s deek dub of Sailor Moon, as well as Tsunami classic G Gundam, and the most abominable toy line of the 1980s with the most incomprehensible animated series to accompany it, the Inhumanoids.

Ooh, that sounds fun. Yes, definitely check that out. And thank you so much, Jake, for joining us on this week's episode. of page seven. We can't wait to have you back. My name is Jackie Zabrowski and you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can come hang out with us. Oh, baby. We are in the season six of Buffy and it is intense. Come hang out with us over on the page seven Patreon. Oh my God. We're never going to be the same. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. And you know, while you're at it, if you need a little bit more Jackie in your life, check out who's the bitch.

Check out LPN Deep Dives, Crescent City, or check out The Empire, the Muscatade, where the final episode is being released this week. So go check it out. It is, you know, you might shed a tear. I don't know if you will. Ooh. And thank you to everybody who is part of our Patreon. Thank you for your emails. You can email us at page 7podcast at gmail.com.

We are so excited to be in 2026, Jake. we're so happy to have you come back soon and we will see you guys tomorrow for Second Helpings. Bye, everybody. Bye. Hollender. Hollander.

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