Page 7 - Choco Taco Has Risen w/ Jake Young

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

This week on Page 7, MJ and Jackie are joined by Jake Young of Nerd of Mouth, as their talkin' the horrors of Christmas including Grýla, and her appearance in the even more blood curdling terror that is "Red One." Jackie continues to sing the praises of the UniversalYums advent calendar, Jake brings up a concerning connection with Miley and mullets, and then it's time for some Golden Globe chat! Matthew Lillard is a bit upset by being attacked by Quentin Tarantino for apparently no reason as his pissfest continues, and then it's time for the List of "16 Times Celebs Tried To Be Funny, Relatable, Or Wise, But Actually Came Across As Extremely Out-Of-Touch"!  After that it's Blindz time, followed by Jackie's Snackies @ 1:06:14.885, MJs Minute Munchies @ 1:14:21.352, and Jakey's Slakey's @ 1:17:30.025! All that and more on this week's Page 7!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Silent bitch, holy bitch. Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but inside we're so insightful. By we, we mean me, Kara Klink. And me, Jackie Zabrowski. The hosts of Who's the Bitch right here on the last podcast network. Where you bring us your bitchuation and we tell you who the bitch is. The next bitch-a-thon is sliding down your chimney on Thursday, December 11th. We're taking your calls live.

4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. Eastern standard time. So grab some holiday buzzballs and join us. It's also going to be a makeshift LPN holiday party, so you never know what's going to happen. Jingle your little bells over to YouTube.com slash at who's the bee. Watch along, join the chat, and call us with your reindeer games. You mean the Ben Affleck movie? Maybe. See you bitches there.

Oh, it is my favorite time of year. I guess I may as well sing my favorite song. Oh, you think it's that other one, but no. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Such pleasure do you bring me. He's back in a way. He's doing a Homer Simpson into the bushes.

Oh, Christmas tree. He's making himself small. You'll ever be unchanging. You're safe here, Jake. As symbol of good will and love, you'll ever be unchanging. Each shining light, each silver bill. No one alive. spreads cheer so well.

And oh, it's Mariah Carey. How did you get here? You're in the middle of doing all your tours. Vegas, you're not supposed to be here right now. Yeah, I just wanted to show up and tell everybody I love grabbing on a Christmas tree. I love looking at it stump. I love looking at its top. I love making sure it's nice and wet.

Adam, quick, get the fluorescent light bulb. I had to get before us and Michael. I'm changing. Back you demon. Was I doing this when Jeff and I went to go pick up our Christmas tree this week? Yes, I was. Was I grabbing on the trees and pretending like I was Harvey Weinstein? Yes, I was.

And I was trying to make sure they were good enough, that they were thick enough. I wanted to feel how girthy their branches were. But then I also started thinking about the song, oh, Christmas tree, and how is that just sexualizing the Christmas tree? And how do we feel about it? The first person who has ever thought this. Not in history.

Has anyone been like, oh, Christmas tree. That, dot, dot, dot. Sexy question mark? No, it's sexualizing. There is a difference, MJ. The Christmas tree isn't choosing it. I would argue that because the song originated as the German Otenenbaum, it is absolutely not sexy at all.

Oh, so what happens to Tandenbaum? Yes, they are a sexless, cold people that just poop on each other behind closed doors to feel anything. Well, what about in front of the doors? Maybe they need to let it out. Maybe this is the Christmas that we let all the crampus knocked out. Oh, my God. Crompus is out.

Grela the Christmas witch is in. Tell me about Greela. Grela. Oh, also, by the way, hi, Jake. Jake Young is here. From murder of mouth. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, Jake.

I'm sorry that we immediately. just jumped into the show. We've done this before. They know, you know. We love having you here, Jake. We just, oh, God, it just puts such a huge smile on our faces. So, according, depending on the northern European tradition you fall into, Grila is either her own thing or, like, the wife of Crompice.

Oh. What? But she is either, like, a old crone-like woman or even a, like, several stories tall ogre beast. Oh, my God. That grabs children in the before Christmas if they are naughty and punishes them. Wow. I have never heard of this before until for an upcoming episode of Nerd of Mouth. That's Nerd of Mouth on the last podcast network when my co-host Solen McNeely and Mike Lawrence.

We watched the flop film Red One. I was wondering if that was the reason why Grillo was brought up because I will say, my mom, big fan of the movie Red One. What do you mean? We did watch it last. I remember you talk about Red One. You gotta see Red One. My mom loves Christmas

movies. So really, if it is a Christmas movie, she will probably enjoy it. Oh, my God. And then I watch it. I was like, Mom, this? This is what you made us watch? J.K. Simmons is there. Dwayne the Rock Johnson is there. Yeah, but is it, is it what we wanted. It is. Honest to God, oh my God.

Your mom is like the like standard like American like just Rube that he makes movies for Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah Watching that film as a as a like adult In charge of their like facilities with critical thing You're like did they hate the audience

For this movie like this is a movie That like the entire time they're like You idiots like this crap Is this what you bastards want And more shovel more drivel into our trash can mouths But the big revelation after they're on their, like, you know, Chris Evans and the Rock. Are you about to spoil red one for everybody in our audience?

And you can't spoil something that's already rotten. The revelation was, who was behind this Christmas magic terrorist plot? It was Grela the Christmas witch. At which point, my Jewish ass looked immediately to my Catholic-raised girlfriend, wife, fiance, partner, perfect person. And went, oh. And it was like, I demand an explanation right now. Did they just make up this thing? And she's like, I have celebrated Christmas my entire life.

And I have never heard of Greela the fucking Christmas. The Icelandic witch troll. Are you guys looking at the images right now? Jackie, I needed to, if you haven't Googled Grila the Christmas witch, just look at the images. Because there's some like classic paintings of Grila that I mean, I really feel like Jackie needed to need to find. Should be Grila. Yes. There's a little bit of Grela that lives inside Jackie.

Oh, I think I'm all Grela. And actually, I'm upset that in Red One, that they made Kiernan Shipka as hot as she was as Grela, because I feel that is keeping, like, that's taken away so much of Grela's essence. I want this big, gnarled. I want everybody terrified. If she's going to be sucking on Crampus's old candy cane, I feel like she should be able to be able to step up with a crampus. I want to see more tongue

At the end of the movie She does like go mask off And she's like a big spooky ogre monster But it's terrible CG And the rock just like I want to see this I want to see like actual like prosthetics I want to see it practical

I want to watch her I want like Angelica Houston Yeah In the witches That's what I want And she rips off her fucking human face To show her witch face Which I was talking to someone

Not that long ago And he's like man hated that movie. And I was like, do I, I don't know if I can like, if you have currently watched the witches and you're like, oh, as a kid, I was scared of it. That's fine. But I feel like if you were my age and you hated the witches as much as I love the witches, I don't know if we can hang. I was scarred by it definitely as a small child. I was not ready for that level of turning boys into rats. And I also read the Raldal book when I was again. Oh, I loved it. And the ending is such a crazy bummer

because, like, he doesn't get turned back at the end of the book. Yeah. He stays a mouse and the grandma picks a mom and is like, well, I'm old. That happens in the movie and then she hangs, and then she's going to fucking die and then he's going to be a rat for a life. Oh, wait, I thought he does turn back into a kid at the end. I just remember

all of them where she sets up all the, because specifically, I remember wanting them for my guinea pigs. I wanted the tubes that ran through and I just remember that she set up the tubes for him. Oh, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe in the remake? I don't know now. I bet that he's going to die flat

underneath somebody's trash can. I'll tell you what, once that grandmother dies. But I don't know if you're a boy living inside of a rat do you live longer than regular rats. Please chime in everybody over on the Patreon. That would be great. And how long do rats

live? I was hanging out with a toddler over the weekend who ran up to me and said, I'm a rat king but in like a nutcracker way. But I was thinking of like in a New York City way. With all the tails. I was about to Shut up, yeah, but he's three. You should have shown him a Rat King and really, yeah. That's an urban legend.

It's not really a thing. What? I thought that they all gnarle all over each other and then they get all wrapped up in each other. Oh, that doesn't happen. I think that definitely happens. And not to bring, Jake. Yeah, and I feel like, not to bring like a Mel from Vampire the Mascarate. Yeah, you're bombonging or a rat talk.

Somewhere in my. It's a Rat King. It's a Christmas miracle. Yeah. It's inviting my feet, Mom! I just want more Grela. I want more Grela. I want more Rat Kings.

This is what I need this Christmas. Although, you know, I know that you were talking about, do you keep an Advent calendar in your home? I know that you have a separate disciple household. Separate religion. A couple of years back. Oh, hell, yeah. We just...

Oh, so no Advent calendars in the house. We light the menorah, or Hanukia, I know there's a difference. And we, yeah, that's, we will, like, visit her folks for Christmas and, like, hang out every once in a while. But, yeah, no, it's a, it's a Jewish household. I, you know, obviously, I miserly during this time. I, like, yell at orphans during this time. Yeah, what is your favorite thing to do to crush Christmas spirit? Oh, I will, like, grab a candy cane out of a smiling child's, like, hand.

Yeah, what do you do with it? Yeah, what do you do with it again? And I'll snap it in half and I'll be like, this has nothing to do with the teachings of Christ. Yeah, do you like try to like suck it really, really fast, like put it to a point and be like, ah, it's like an icicle? No. Oh, okay.

That's a you thing. That's too, oh, that is a me thing. Everybody knows that's like my thing. I love to fashion a candy cane into a shiv of sorts and brandish it a bouts on the streets. That is the reason for the season. That is. I mean, it's better than a Jesus Christ, you know?

It's just Jackie Christ out there, just sucking on candy canes. I'm wearing my first Christmas sweater of the season that says, don't hate on my Christmas music. And my kids today, for the first time, realized that the word Christ, this sounds like a Fox News story. Because they were raised, right? They just realized that the word Christ is in Christmas. And they were like, why does it say Christ mass?

And I was like, because it's about them. mom, Donnie, isn't in office yet. But I was like, I didn't know how to answer without being like, because Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ, but that I sound like, you can't say that without sounding weird, you know, so you're like, Kirk Cameron. Instantly into the Linus speech from the Charlie Brown Christmas. Yes, exactly. Exactly.

We're really keeping the Christ out of Christmas over here, but now we're putting them back in. Especially because MJ's kids have like four Advent calendars. See, Jake, we here at page 7 are pro-advent calendar, but I'm trying to make advent calendars happen throughout the year. I think that we need more advent calendars. Jackie, you are just describing the symptoms of a dopamine deficiency. You just desperately need a little 202 to feel happy. Up your dose of Vibance, I think, is what you actually need.

Oh, is it my bipolar? Knocking on the back of my brain that I just need something to wake up for? And maybe it's a little treat, but here's the thing, Jake, I got this Advent Gallagher this year. It is, I'm not working with them. This is not a collab. I got it in a world market. It is called Universal Yums. And every day, there are not one, not two, not three, but four candies every single day from around the world.

And it's incredible. Now I'm getting the universally yums targeted ads because my phone knows that I know Jackie. You just got yumbed. And you just got yumbed, Jake. Sorry, sorry, everybody at home. You just got yumbed. And you're thrilled with the universal yums. I also, I'm very, very, very happy because listener Jasmine, I don't really play video games.

Jake, you know Jasmine. She's perfect. And she got me my first, I've always wanted an adult advent calendar. And I finally have one. And it's full of tequila. And I'm so happy. That's a little treat to get out of bed for. Talk about a dopamine deficiency.

I feel like MJ, though, the problem is MJ just watched this movie called Oh, What Fun, which is about Michelle Pfeiffer abandoning her family because she can't handle the holidays anymore. And then MJ, you're talking about your tequila Advent calendar. I feel like we should

be listening. I feel like this is the time that we're like, I hear you, MJ. I'm just drinking tequila and watching a movie about abandoning my family. But I'm doing well. I'm doing well. I'm doing fine. I did all my shopping. popping early this year. So I don't want to abandon my family yet. Okay. I love the yet.

But, but, but, this is like the counterbalance to like getting high all day playing GTA 5. Like, this is. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is not, this is mental health. This is, this is coping. We all, we all have our reason to get through the seasons. But Jackie just really wants to talk about our yums. Is it, I mean, do you have any, it's better than me talking about my yucks, isn't it? Like, you're welcome. The universal yucks adjunct calendar way more real bad. Yeah, much more expensive too. And I was like, don't do that to people.

Universal taboos. There's not many, but they're bad. But they are all bad. But I do, you know, speaking of mental health, I think we all have some mental health problems, including Miley Cyrus. Now, is it a reason to marry a person I don't quite know? Because Miley Cyrus, as we talked about last week, Miley Cyrus, and Max Morondo are engaged. And yes, you listened to me last week, go,

who even gives a fuck about this guy? Went from that to very quickly flip-flopping. And then being like, maybe he's just a dude and maybe it's nice for them. But she did say that she has, Miley Cyrus has a very big issue with paper, like waxed paper, anything with a smooth, like she needs things with a smooth surface,

anything that feels dry on her hands. So she does not like to open. in packages. And especially in the winter, I appreciate it. Especially in the winter, your hands are dry and the packages are dry. And while I don't share this affliction, it is relatable, you know, like, yeah, very much so. The cardboard is dry. I am not upset with her about the fact that she doesn't like to open the packages because, I mean, as someone that I get made fun of all the time on Jackin, because I'll put a little plastic glove on my hand to pack my weed bowls because I don't like the sticky, icky, getting stuck on.

on my finger pads. I don't like the way it feels. And then you smell like res. Like it just makes my, and it gets under my nails and I don't like it. I don't like the feeling of my hands being dirty. Yeah, that's just growing up. You don't want to smell like resin all day

once you turn 30. Yes. And everybody makes fun of me for the glove and I'm fine with it. But she did say, she's like, I mean, that's why I'm marrying him because he opens as all, he opens as my package as I was outside.

Okay, but this is, This is one of those, not to channel Holden McNeely, but this is one of those things. Like washing the dishes? No, I was more thinking about Holden's. Because he gets hard when he gets wet on his seat. No, that. On his front seat. I do also love that for him, but I was more thinking about Holden's, the special little

bee in his bonnet that he gets when people are just like newly in love and really excited about it. Holden's always like, it won't last, you know. But I do feel like my. He really thinks it'll never laugh. Like, he hates, man, every week on Jackin, he hates our, he hates me and Jeff's love. He really hates our love. Well, everybody hates you and Jeff's love.

Yeah, you know, it's good. I'm glad. I want everyone to hate it. That's the kind of thing you should be hated for. Just mutual respect and happiness in a relationship. And everyone's like, fuck off. Fuck you. That's not how it's supposed to work.

My thing, like, my Miley thing is that I really, really do not like peeling garlic, but I really love having garlic in my food, but I really don't like peeling garlic. Your hands smell like, talk about resin. Your hands smell like garlic for the rest of the day. I don't like the little paper. I can do it with onions. I got no problem chopping onions,

but I just really hate chopping garlic. And my lovely husband for a long time would always chop the garlic for me. And, you know, then life happens. And now we're all too busy to be like, husband, you have to chop the garlic for me. So this is my holden McNeely is like, you know, there will be a time in your life, Miley.

when Max Morando is not open in those packages for you anymore. And I hope the love survives because my love is still there, even though he doesn't open the garlic for me anymore. I will also throw it out there. You can put the individual clothes like in a jar. And if you shake it for a while, the thing just like kind of pops. Like if you specifically hate the peeling of the garlic, just saying.

My new hack is I buy the pre-peeled, like the big old bulk thing. Oh, yeah. And then I fucking mince it in a food processor. And then I freeze it. And you can just break off little pieces of, freshly yes. Oh, you do the thing where you segmented in the Ziploc bag. Yes, I saw a TikTok about it. Half of TikTok is tutorials on how to make a little segmented Ziploc bag frozen garlic thing. Okay, so I'm not unique. But yes, you are, MJ.

But so that's their thing. You know, it's the cardboard. And I hope that he does it forever. As it's, there is nothing better in a relationship when like a chore that you do not even think about as labor is like something the partner just hates to do. God, that is the best. For me, taking out the garbub. do not care, never once thought about it. That was like my, my, like, chore responsibly when I was growing up. It is, like, not even registered as going out of my way ever. Marie hates it, the smell, the textures having to, like, refill the bag. And so, like, I just do it, and, like, I get, I get points.

And it's like, it's like free relationship money. Find out something the other one doesn't like to do and do it for them. You're so right. I hate anything that has to do with the dishwasher. Really? I think it's because in New York. We never had a dishwasher, and I also, like, cleaned houses for a really long time. And in my head, it breaks my brain.

But it's also because I am fine with washing dishes. It doesn't bother me. In my head, I'm like, you got to wash off the dish, put the dish in the thing, and then you've got to come back later, undo the thing, put the dishes back. It has so many extra steps. Wow, I'm the opposite. Jeff does all of that. He deals with all of it because if I have to unload the dish, oh, my God, I'll burn the worry.

to the ground. But everything's clean. See, now I'm so blessed to be a New Yorker with a dishwasher. And now I'm like, if I ever have to live somewhere without a dishwasher, like that's what's going to make me leave the city. You know, like, wow. And mine is a washer dryer. I'll never live without one ever again.

Yeah. Is this boring? No, it's holiday cheer. This is what holiday cheer is. All right. We got old. This is holiday cheer. Okay, you want a spicy?

You want a spicy take? You want a spicy take? Going back to Miley. Yeah. I keep wanting to say, Max Marando. I keep wanting to say Matt Marano, who is meeting the new back to me. That we know, Marano, great gal.

He's a perfect human being. This is the best. But I never heard about this. I didn't know this was happening. And so I'm looking at this, you called him weasel-like in many respects. And I'm trying to figure out, like, so what is going on here? Look at this wolf cut. Is it a wolf cut?

Look at this rocker hair that he has been sporting the entire time. And we hate the hair. I've turned pro. Last week, I turned pro, I think it's good. But go ahead. Would you call this mullet adjacent? Yes. No.

No. You guys are old. You have to get hip. Okay? It is... I have a wolf cut. I understand you. It's like I have the haircut.

That's why I feel like his is less wolf cutty and more mullity. And so if you are Miley Cyrus, what is your formative trauma? It is a man with a mullet. Oh, Jake. With holding affection. Don't go there, James. Not being there for you. Wow.

Coming in later when your career was more money. Don't shame is mullet is eggy, brachy, mollet. Never bring Billy Ray into this. Wow. Now she has found what she has been looking for her entire life in what form? A rocker man with a mulletty stupid haircut. Wow. I am offended by this.

Sometimes the mind is a very simple thing. Is this like an Elizabeth Hurley thing? too. Maybe it's because her daddy's dating Elizabeth Hurley. Maybe she wants a little bit more Hurley in her life I will say, I had never thought of this, but Elizabeth Hurley's beautiful son who's always kissing. That they kiss

on the lips. Yeah, that they kiss on the lips. All right, with his big lips. Yeah, his big beautiful lips and yet still, full adult and they are still kissing on the lips. But yes, continue. I feel like her beautiful son looks a little bit like this guy. It's all in the family is what I'm saying. Perhaps the family dynamic.

He is the sauce of this human... By the way, this is Damien Hurley, Jake, and he is... They're very pretty. Very beautiful son. But again, if that's your son, because they're so pretty, do you kiss him on the lips?

Sometimes the son is so pretty. So pretty, he's got to be kissed on the lips. Not only pretty, but like, it's her pretty. I know, he's very... He's very attractive. Kiss it in her. Like, that is the Liz jeans. They also would, it would look like they are kissing a mirror.

Maybe that's what the problem is. It's like a dog, like boo. You know, Adam's dog, he gets really wrapped up in mirrors and he loves staring at himself in the mirror and barking. So maybe it's like that. I am looking at pictures of young Billy Ray Cyrus with his mullet. And I do not want to say with Jay. Austrian school via simple creatures at oral states.

Get out of it. Wow, you're so right. Look at that mullet. Oh, but he's, but okay, you know the difference? He's nice and he does things for her and they are happy together. Like it opens the packages. We all know that he opens the packages. Maybe we don't know anything else that he does for her.

Celebrities are just like us. Yes. Yes, he borrows money. He knows he borrows money from her. And that he does not, yeah. But we also learned last week that he's a talented song. Producer? Stress.

Writer? Yeah. They make music together. He plays music. I know that they have like a music connection. I'm not trying to hate on the guy anymore just because I look, I see the little weasel face. And to me, Miley Cyrus is a goddess.

Like I do actually feel that I would have her up on a physical pedestal if I could. Like I'd cryogenically freeze her. And I, out of love. Out of love. Out of love. And I would definitely make, like, give her the look of like a, um, you know, in Ghostbusters, like a Zool, you know, give her that kind of essence. And out of love and consent.

Oh my God, Jackie. I love being your frozen statue. I know. You're right. I know everyone is signing up for it. I don't want to leave your house. Sorry, I also just noticed that I just wrote at the top of our doc, Fearal ass, Hilaria, because we did forget to bring up last week during the Dancing

with the Stars finale that Hilaria. that Hilaria was brought back to be on it and she looked like a fucking rabid dog She was feeling She was just like Like every single bit Like that was a Donald Trump style reed on another

Biggie Yeah that was very A rabid dog Like a dog Feral beast But she is she is spiraling And it's her normal To make videos about how she's not spiraling

but now she's making more... What was the one you just sent me, MJ? Oh, it was about all of her sons hugging her. I mean, it was giving Elizabeth Hurley and her beautiful son. It was... Yeah, she was just like, oh... And not in the kissing a mirror kind of way.

It was just like, oh, I'm flying to L.A. Here's a video of all of my sons trying to pick me up. And I'm just like, can we not, can we not? Like, she... But MJ, but she's so little, and even her little sons can pick her. Isn't that, we all know the person who is an adult, and it's kind of obsessed with how the fact that they're still, like, never stops talking about that they're small and they can be picked up. And it's like, you have to stop. You can't, you got to stop bringing this up. Nobody cares. You know, she's always talking. She's doing yoga in her underwear so that we can, quote, unquote, see her muscles. See the muscles. She's having her eight-year-old son pick her up and brag. Like, it is, it's just, it's like the worst person you ever went to high school with married a celebrity. That's hilarious. That's Alaria.

And man, she's still going at it. You went to high school in Spain? I went to high school in Boston. Boston. Oh, yeah. We're in Boston with Hillary, Lynn, Thomas, again, is what her actual name is. But we got to talk about the Golden Globes. We got the Golden Globe noms out there, out the gate, searing hot.

I am going to throw it out there very upset with you AMC, the entire corporation, because, and maybe it's not just AMC, but Hamnet, I wanted to see Hamnet so badly. It barely showed. And in L.A., every movie is shown here a thousand hundred times. It was in and out. They didn't have, and maybe it was because, I mean, I know why. It's because it came out during the time that people are still watching Wicked and they're watching Running Man, and they're watching, like, the bigger ones.

But Hamnet looked so good. And for those that are unaware, it is Jesse Buckley. and Paul Meskell in the story of Shakespeare. And this is Chloe Zell, right? Correct. Who famously kind of did The Eternals, which is like a classic Marvel move of taking this talented indie director

and kind of crushing them. Correct. And taking out all of their creativity and I feel like this was them being like, okay, you did the one for us, one for you, and now they're doing Hamnet. And Hamnet looks sad. And it looks like Jesse Buckley and Paul Meskill are fucking eating up the scenery.

Aitin up the scenery. And I love to be sad. And I can't wait to see it. But it is up for Golden Globe Noms. And I'm upset because I wanted to see it so badly. Yeah. And you didn't get to see it. And now also, did we talk about how Joe Alwood is in it?

No. But he's also, he was in kinds of kindness to you. I know. I just forget that he does anything besides be Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. And, yeah, I think he's probably having a better time as an actor than as her. Oh, and he's like besties with Paul Muskell, I remember now. Yes.

But yes, everybody's talking about Hamnet. Everybody, we got some comments saying, Jackie, go see it. It's so good. But now you can't. I can't. I need it. But, I mean, we're not talking about heated rivalry right just yet. But I just have to tell everyone that I've been watching heated rivalry.

And I have been watching it. It's so good. probably talk more about heated rivalry tomorrow on second. And I'm watching the one that I keep forgetting the name of it. It has Matthew Reese and it has clear day. It's the beast in me. The beast in me. And I, because I want to sleep with Matthew Reese.

But we will talk more about that tomorrow. I understand. But now with the Golden Globes, of course, you know, we see Cynthia Revo, Ariana Grande, also being nominated again for. the same roles. This is the first time that this has ever happened and I think that that part of it is a lot of fun. I don't

know if that means that they should win it but I do. If one of them wins will the other like crumble into dust because they've entered the symbiosis with each other where they feed off of each other to live? I feel like rather than crumbling into dust I feel like they'd finally be allowed to let go of their

corporeal form and they would be allowed to be like pixie dust that enters into the brain. of the other one to live there in peace forever. I mean, thoughts don't weigh anything. This is the thing, and you don't have to worry about it then when you're just dust. You don't have to think about any

of it. You don't have to think about the helicopters. We don't have to think about the fact that Ariana Grande and I both realize, I see the 6-7, okay? I see the 6-7. I know 6-7 is a meme. I know it's a meme. And I was talking about Dancing with the Stars last week, and I was making fun of Alfonso Ribeiro's

kids because I thought they were giving him a mid-list review of his dancing skills but really they were just saying six seven because all children say six seven i can't believe we haven't talked about it on the show i'm working in a middle school it's my life i you know here's the thing i see that it is a meme but i'm not around any middle schooler so i'm not hearing i feel like anyone that is around anyone that age hears the like cacophony that is them just saying six seven yeah so they just say six seven it's like a post meaning. We have entered a post meaning world. It's just a

reference to a meme. That's a reference to another meme. Jake, do you have insight on this? Whenever I hear adults talk about 6'7 and I was at Thanksgiving, it came up a lot. I just like, we might as well walk up to groups of children in a 90 serial commercial

and just be like, oh, why don't you like Apple Jacks? They don't taste like Apple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have to let them have it. And the most amazing thing about this as somebody working in schools right now is that it was so now we have now reached the point with six seven where now adults are as you say Jake are saying it too and the kids hate that so now we're at a kind of post six seven world but now we ruined it for them we

ruined it for them now they're saying it ironically but and at the at its height which was just a month or two ago it replaced it has fully usurped 69 there was an attendance report at my school and the numbers posted on the bullet and board were 69, 69, and 67% for attendance. And everyone of the, all the adults were like, oh my God, why did we even do this? Why did we do this? Not a snow child said a word about 69. Only six, seven.

The funny number has changed to a different number. It is the funny number has changed to just very close. And unlike 69, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean sucking and fucking on each other at the same time. It doesn't. And isn't that nice? I guess, you know, but at the same time, you know, people were upset as someone that had Evil Duck 59 as my screen name back in the day because it was 10 away from 69, you know,

we all had our things from when we were young. Jackie, you don't have to admit every embarrassing thing about yourself on this podcast. I know, just from the one day, you know. That could have stayed close to the vest. No, none of it stays close to the vest. I let it all free. Jake, is there anything you got under that vest you want to let? let free.

Yeah, what was your screen name in middle school? Oh, I'm not going to say, because it's embarrassing. I have nothing to gain. Oh, evil duck 59. I was Crafty Bernard. It was a name generator. Wow, at least you use a, you know, you used a name generator. I feel like that probably made you hip at the time.

No, I'm sorry. I look at you and I don't know if you, they don't know if any of us have ever been hip at the time. Not then, not now. But I do feel like it must have been the. same name generator as Childish Gambino. I feel like Crafty Bernard is a, is structurally similar. It's up there for sure.

Oh, can, just while I can talk to someone who does work in a, in a school, are they still doing the Italian brain rot thing, like Trollololo, Trollola, la, like, cappuccina, ballerina, all that shit. Is that still happening? I think they've, like, slightly moved on from that specific thing of brain rot, but they talk about brain rot a lot. I got to say that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I've worked in schools for a real long time, and the older I get, the more I accept that

I will never know what they're talking about. You know, like, when I was in my 20s working in schools, I was like, yeah, I'm a bit of a youth myself. And not anymore. They start talking and I'm just like, I don't, this is not for me. And that era of my life, the book has been slammed shut on my youth. And that's okay. Yeah, that's, that is okay. Better being on this side of things. honestly, on this side of things, we've got Pam Anderson and we have Liam Neeson. And I told you all, I told everybody it wasn't a publicity stunt. I was over here screaming from the out of the tops. I didn't want it to be a publicity stunt.

And it wasn't a publicity stunt? Was it, no showmance? Was it Henry or Holden who was so adamant? Oh, Henry, Henry has repeatedly railed against the Pam Anderson, Liam Neeson, showmance at it was a nakedly obvious publicity move for the movie. And she, now Pam Anderson herself has come out to say that that is not true. She even goes on to say

that when people were saying that it was a publicity son, she's like, this is real. We have real feelings. He's such a supporter of the new trajectory in my career and kindly tells me he's very proud of me. I'm sure we will always be in each other's lives. And I love Pam Anderson and I want to be her and I want to grow up to be her and I want to be her child and I want to be her mother. And it is, I am so happy that she even said that they moved on to be, like, they had like a crazy week while they were filming. They did like, it sounds like they just had like an actual, a showman. A showman's. For people in their late 50s to early 70s. Yes. And then when they came back around to do the PR, they bumped it. I. up again because then they were like, oh, we do like each other, and it seemed like it rekindled during the PR thing, and then they ended up going their separate ways, and they realized, oh, we had a lot of fun, but we're better as friends. So it wasn't fake. It was real. It was real.

But I imagine it was real. And I don't want to hear, no. I see the look on your face, Jake. Very easy. I see the look on your face. It looks like you're trying to tell me. This is very interesting how the timing of it works out. It seems like that you're lying. I mean, the timing of working on a project together and then falling in love and then having that just coexist with your publicity tour that had nothing to do with anything to do with it. And then when the publicity tour was over, it kind of petered out and then it just wasn't a thing anymore. Yeah, and then she accidentally brought it back up and maybe this is good for us to think about love. All right, I love old love. You all know this about me.

I especially love new old love, okay? Old love is the best kind of love. I love a sustained old love. I love new old love. I just love thinking about the sounds they make as they get all slurping and nerping. I mean, what you're really thinking about is Mary Steenbergin and Ted Danson. We all know that that's what you're thinking about. That's all what I remember.

Gasharoonie, which is something that Ted Danson did say after climaxing. Gosheruny. So it's something that lives in MJ and I's brain. Forever. And while it is very cute, I also think that I would be like, gosh, Arunee, really? But that's fine. I know we need to get a soon to the list, but I would love to talk about Milakunis being the head of her neighborhood HOA. Wow. I thought we were going to talk about Matthew Lillard and how sad he was that Quentin Tarantino was being such a fuck. Okay, we could talk about that. We could just tell people, Milakunis is the head of her HOA. and I can't decide if this is kind of fun or so annoying.

I just need help thinking through it. Annoying, annoying. You wrote that letter for the Masterson, horrible person. You're just like, you're done. You're done. Okay, you get to still make movies. Don't make me think about, oh gosh, golly, what a fun person you are. You have signed away your cool, normal person thing.

You have stead by with the elite monster people. I don't care that you have to like work on trash pickup schedules. And also HOA's are awful. Like famously awful. There's a solitology of neighborhood organizing. You're right. Oh my God. You're right.

The only thing about it is that it would, I do think it's kind of funny to imagine being like, you know, going to the fucking condo meeting or whatever and being like, oh, Milakunas is here. But then I remembered that stupid profile that would happen about their stupid house right after they did that Apollo. They did the apology video. They did the apology video. And they did like, look at our home. Look at our beautiful home where we did our apology video. Yeah, no, you're right. Okay, annoying. Verdict is in.

Thank you for helping me think that through. It's definitely annoying. And I feel like this is such a cry to be like, seeing just a girl. Yeah, just a mom. She even says it like in the article, it's just like she also noted that she tries to work out in the morning, but she doesn't always

shower afterwards. Yeah, you're right. Who gives the fuck? You're right. Are we talking about? Yeah. Bye. Bye.

Bye Milakunis. By Milakunis. But not by to Matthew Lillard. Now, last week we did bring up Quentin Tarantino being a little fuck boy, just spewing all of his shit all about the town. And I wanted Matthew Lillard, who has been, like, crushing it. And Matthew Lillard, I wanted him to be like, fuck you, Quentin Tarantino. but instead he said

because like Quentin Tarantino has said about him I don't care for him I don't care for Owen Wilson and I don't care for Matthew Lillard and he even says Matthew Lillard was like why am I in it?

Like why? Like he's so sad that Quentin Tarantino because no matter what we in fact we heard from Adam last week which was such a beautiful succinct like summary of what's going on with Quentin Tarantino

and I wanted him to be angry at him And instead, it just hurt his feelings. He said, it fucking sucks. And he wouldn't say that to Tom Cruise. He wouldn't say that to anybody who's a top line actor in Hollywood. I'm very popular. He was speaking at a thing. Like at a con.

I'm very popular. His belovedness as Shaggy was, like, the room loved him. The room absolutely. And he's known as like one of the coolest people working the con circuit. He had so many cons and everybody says, what a wonderful person to work with. And, yeah, I mean, talk about like, he, So many of his roles have been in, like, uniquely beloved movies. But yeah, so he said, I'm very popular in this room.

I'm not very popular in Hollywood. Two totally different microcosms, right? And so, you know, it's humbling and it hurts. And of course I, we, we, it's like, of course it hurts. Like if a random internet comment could hurt your feelings, then fucking Quentin Tarantino being like, I don't like you. For no reason. So this is where Wonderful Marie once again comes in,

clutch. She did some TikTok digging and found out that Quinn Tarantino was an actor at a certain point. Like he did some acting work before he hit it big with his like screenwriting. He got a lot of acting roles afterwards. And famously, he flopped hard in 1998 working alongside Marissa Tomey on a noir like play called Wait Until Dark. This thing was a bomb. Critics at the time called him like one of the worst actors they've ever seen. I hated, hated. And so when he's like in this weird moment, which by the way, he's doing a Fortnite tie-in right now. There's like a canonical sequel to Kill Bill in Fortnite that he worked on.

Oh my God. Like his one job right now was to shut the fuck up and he could not do it. Who did he rag on? Paul Dano. Paul Dano, who did a really, who just did a theater run that everybody really liked. Owen Wilson. Who is a brilliant actor. You know what?

Alec Baldwin made that raggedy old video in a car this last week and he was like, I love Paul Dano. He was literally like the perfect foil and there will be blood. Yes. Owen Wilson or one of the Wilson?

Owen Wilson, yeah. And then Matthew Lillard, all of these guys play like off-kilter kind of like mildly nerdy white guys, which is the exact kind of role when Tarantino was out of over back in the day. jealous jealous much interesting way the shittiest comedians you know are like bragging on the comedians who got gigs they felt they deserve

got totally there's also a really telling interview I think it was even on Rogan where Quentin Tarantino says he was going to do more acting but Sophia Coppola was too needy and held him back so he definitely has like stymied aspirations to be like a cool actor that were like left on the way side, and he's just flailing at anybody who thinks got his crown. Totally. He is such a piece of shit for this.

This makes total sense, especially, like, I feel like specifically Matthew Liddler, like tall, lanky, really expressive weirdo, but in a lovely way. Yes. Unlike Quentin Tarantino. And he's never going to be him. So get over it, bitch. Age and like a fine wine, too, man. I think, I've always thought Matthew Lillard's really hot.

Oh, my God, he's only getting hotter. Yeah, Daddy, just like Daddy Skeet, Daddy Matty Willard. Daddy Smirby never sheds his skin. It's time for the list. Oh, who's on a list. Bitch, got to have that list. It is 60 times celebrities tried to be funny, relatable, or wise, but actually came across as extremely out of touch. I'm sorry, how many entries?

Only 16, surprisingly. In 2019, a fan tweeted that she'd be picking up extra shifts at work because she'd need to work 20 hours to afford jeans from Chloe Kardashian's brand good American. Kardashian replied, oh, this is so cute. I'm so happy you enjoy them. To work 20 hours for the jeans, by the way.

And don't worry, if you were wondering if there were more Jenners or Kardashians on the list, you would be correct in the midst of inflation and public discourse about the heavy toll private jets take on the environment, Kylie Jenner posted a since deleted Instagram picture of herself and her then partner, Travis Scott, with their personal

individual private jets. She captioned it, you want to take mine or yours. Wow. Which, I mean, I guess if you're in a relationship and you both have a PJ, I feel like there's got to be, like is there separate, like there's Raya

and there's separate rich people dating? I'm assuming there are separate rich people social media apps where you can show off your PJs? That's a good question. I'm looking at this and I'm wondering why has Kylie Jenner's and that family's horribleness not tanked Teme's stock at all? Like it has, I feel like she has, their partnership has done nothing negative for him.

And yet she continues to be her. Yeah, if anything, it's risen her stock. Very much so. And I think that is what happened. I think it made people be like, oh, you're legitimate, which that doesn't mean anything. You're just stooping the guy that's been playing ping pong for years. But now we heard about this when Kim Kardashian said when she was sharing her advice for women

in business and she said, get your fucking ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days, which is ridiculous. And I somehow forgot during the COVID-19 pandemic that Vanessa Hudgens went on Instagram and went on Instagram live and said, but like, it's a virus. I got it. I respect it. But at the same time, like, even if it gets, like, even if everyone gets it, like, yeah, people are going to die, which is terrible, but like, inevitable. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this right now. And the answer is, yeah, you probably shouldn't have been doing it right then. Probably wasn't the time to do it. Find catching yourself and alive. Like, oh, this is going to get clipped, isn't it? Yes. Or like Jennifer Anderson on actors on actors. Now, I like Jennifer Anderson. I'm not one of those. I feel like the, I feel like the tabloids have really ripped her apart in ways that really does suck. But to be fair, she is a mega millionaire based on, you know, reruns alone almost.

And she said, the thing of people becoming famous for basically doing nothing, I feel so lucky that we got a little taste of the industry before it became what it is today. More streaming services. You're famous from TikTok. You're famous from YouTube. You're famous from Instagram. It's like almost like it's diluting the actor's job. Because you're famous for friends that you did 30 years ago.

A show that everybody also knows doesn't hold up. It is. We're going to get hate mail about that, but go on. It is, I mean, friends as somebody that was, I loved friends. And as somebody that was a fat person watching friends, I knew that I was upset at the time with how they used to talk about Monica and all that shit. So it's like even, it's like I'm talking about those kind of things. But I like Jennifer Anderson seemingly as a person.

And I do feel like it comes off a little aloof to be like, it's so crazy that they all have to do so many things. Like, I just have to sit and wait for my check every month. I see. That's fair. I was going to say, I'm not defending this stance because I do think she's wrong. But I also think that's a pretty common stance for anybody above Gen Z to be like, what do you mean? You're like famous from TikTok. Like I went through this with Alex Earl and dancing with her.

the stars. I was like, you're just here because you're a social media influencer. And then I was like, it turns out you're brilliant. But like, I do feel like this is a, this is like a pretty mainstream sentiment to be like, in my day, we had to act, you know, and now you could just go on TikTok. But I don't know. I hear you. I also don't think friends holds up, but I feel like it is so many people's comfort show. Oh, it's a comfort show. Oh, I'll throw on, especially it's like, if there's a, like, really bad, um, turbulence on a flight, I'll throw on, like, a friend, you know, it's like, I guess. But then in my head, I'm like, am I going to die while watching friends?

Like, will people know? The last thing you see before the lights go out is the holiday armadillo. It's a shit, yeah, right, yeah, the little, little tribion. Yeah, we were on a break, pivots, you know, it's like, who knows which episode I'll be watching. Monica's got the turkey on her head. He's like, I, we all, it lives within us. I think we've all seen every episode of Friends, a thousand.

thousand times. Like it was always on. I watched it every day. Yeah. But I did want to just bring up this one. This will be the last one for our list. Kelly Rippa jokingly talked about her son's experience moving into his own apartment in Brooklyn. And she said, I think he loves the freedom. He hates paying his own rent and he's chronically poor. I don't think you ever really experienced extreme poverty like now, which I think is very interesting because something tells me that you have a mother and father that you could go to. Or you have a very, you have, I don't know if that can we refer. to it as extreme poverty. I don't know if we can, but I did just want to bring that up because I thought it was very funny. I heard he had to start shopping at Trader Joe's instead of old foods. Four buck chuck. Oh my God. I thought they were talking about ground beef. I only bring this up because Kelly Rippa was talking to Mark Consuelos about the fact that they are done allowing their full grown children to be a part of the holiday card every year because the full grown children were.

Choir choices over the pictures taken and included, and they wouldn't get back to them in time. So they said, fuck it, you're not on the card this year. And you know what? I liked that take. I, uh, this is very, this is that, that particular story is very Michelle Pfeiffer coded in. Oh, what fun. Sorry to keep bringing it up. You love this movie.

I feel like, I can't believe the movie's not called Enough for Christmas. I feel like it's like J-Lo when J-Lo had enough. And it sounds like Michelle Viver has had enough of Christmas. She does not technically become a family annihilator, but my elevator pitch is Michelle Pfeiffer becomes a family annihilator at Christmas. You want to bump it up for the sequels, what you're saying. Yes, that is the sequel. Good luck pitching that to the only two companies left that can greenlight things.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Our big fun mergers, isn't it kind of nice? It kind of reminds me of like, you know, soon we'll be able to plug ourselves into the single. And it all just be one and they'll just tell us what to watch and what to think. And once that merger goes through, guys, we're going to be seeing great things out there. I don't think this is good enough to turn the ties. But if anybody listening owns Netflix stock or knows somebody who owns Netflix stock, please tell them not to take the hostile takeover offer because holy shit, if Paramount Skydance,

if the fucking Ellison's get a hold of this thing, they're going to re-edit Superman so that he like helps the Baravians white. It's fucking dire. Like this ending better. Yeah, that's one's better. Moravia has a right to defend itself. Do you condemn the Justice League? Do you condemn the Justice League?

Like, it's that, they're that much ghouls. It's fucking dire out there. Oh, my God. Now, very, very upsetting. But that's my list for you. Along those lines, I think I'm going. Blind! Items.

Amagasy. The streamer is already pulled. the plug on lots of series and potential projects because of their new purchase. Also, it wants to distance itself from the illiterate one and her lap dog. Whoa. So first of all, Megan Markle and the Netflix. Yes, you got it. Wait, there's more than one famous illiterate?

Yeah, it's, well, they usually... Oh, not illiterate, alliterate. A literate, yeah, a literate. Oh, I thought you were doing a Lee and Michelle. Liam, no, no, no, no, no. continue, I'm so sorry. No, she still can't read. No, but this is... We make that, my brain changes it every single time. I hear MJ say the word. Yes, but apparently, um, yeah, lots of changes coming to Netflix with this merger and perhaps Megan

Michael get in the boot because nobody seems to like her show. With love, Megan, a holiday celebration. Which we did watch. Which MJ and I did watch. And we talked about it over on our holiday roundup over on the page 7 Patreon. Go check that out. No. Spoiler alert. We loved it. She makes her own Advent calendars for her children. And in each day, she writes down things like, I love you because you're so brave. It's an Advent calendar. Can you imagine expecting yums? Imagine like expecting four yums. And instead you get a note that says you're so brave. I think I'd chew it up and spit it down my mother's throat. Mom, I don't mean that. Mom, you know I don't

mean that. It's a cloth Advent calendar full of handwritten notes. Makes me feel like I'm a bad mom for buying a real fucking Advent calendar for my kids. But anyway, blind number two, apparently the ginger-haired one was drunk when he had his television appearance like fumes emanating from the body drunk. Are we talking about that very weird late show up of Prince Harry on with love, Megan, a holiday celebration? We are actually not talking about the with love Megan holiday celebration. We are talking about Prince Harry on Stephen Colbert, who apparently smelled drunk. I just have to emphasize how many blind items are about how much Megan Markle loves to drink. And in the course of the holiday

episode, she did have, I'm going to say, four to six drinks, but I'm sure it was filmed over the course of several days. But I was excited to see a new genre of blind item, which is that Prince Harry's also a drunk, because all the blinds about him are that he's a stoner. Oh, which honestly, I mean, with two little kids, I feel like you have to be, right? I think there's certain, well, I don't know. I was going to say there's less judgment around it, but that's not true. No, not especially if he's a royal. Certainly not. No, no, no. I'd say, get that drink in the air, old chap.

Okay, so this is, I'm really, the reason for the season is this upcoming blind. Get ready, you guys. We have eight people to guess in this blind. Eight. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, you got this. You got this. All right.

No, we got this, Jake. Don't abandon me now. Now, it does start with someone who I had never heard of, but I know all of the others. Again, this is it. Phineas Apple. Bodes well for us. Oh, God. Is it a model one?

Carly cloth. No, and believe me, if I had been able to find was Kate Beaconsdale one? The one that I always have when Jake's here, I would have. Oh, we didn't talk about how Kate Beckesdale said that her daughter's boyfriend lay two age. But also, I like calling her. I think that in the blinds, she's only Beckinsdale. I wanted to like make that every time, oh, that's her alter ego.

Oh, you don't know about, uh-oh. She's done a lot of parts work, and now Kate Beckinsdale is the protector. No, it's just, it's funny. Oh, I've been Mandela affected. What's that movie, the Sinbad movie versus the movie, Shazam. No, the thing where you think that there was a movie

called Shazam. No, but it's Kazam. You think Sinbad was in a movie called Kazam when it was Shaquille O'Neal in Shazam. No, no, no. Sorry, even I got it wrong. It's Sinbad in Shazam,

but it's Shaq in Kazazam. But what about houseguess? And why isn't anyone talking about the Phil Hartman movie, Houseguest? With Sinbad. We have guessed zero of these eight names. Okay, all right. Give us an age.

You guys got this. Okay, so we're starting with a yachter. Oh, no. This former YouTube star turned actress failed to land the streaming singer and actor. Okay, so just to start, because I did not know who this bitch was, the YouTube. You're going to give us a freebie? Yeah, I'm going to give you a freebie. Or at least a really good hint.

Because we know everyone else in this mega blind, okay? Okay. So she's a yachter, a YouTuber, and an actress, and the thing, the thing that she was in that you might know the most was the brutalist. I really don't know how much people know this lady, because I don't know anything. Okay. Emma Laird. Never.

Do you know? I was going to guess an Emma or an Emily, and I was going to say Emily Blunt, but then I feel bad because I feel like that enters into like my blindness of like, oh, one of those kinds. Yeah. So Emma Laird was in 28 years later. She was in The Brutalist. She was in a haunting in Venice. Anyway, that's the bitch we're talking about. Okay. So she failed to land the streaming actor. So now she moved on to the serial cheating freak from the same show. All right. Serial cheating freak just had an album come out about how bad a husband he is. Oh, David Harbor. Yes. She was trying to land one of the other younger, hotter people from the show. Oh, okay. I mean, I mean, Finn Wolfhardt is like the get, right?

I think so. The older, not that generation of the kids, the elder, the teens generation, not the kids. Eddie, I remember Eddie's the hot one, right? Eddie's the hot one. Not Eddie, but I'll accept a character name as well. Steve Harrington, aka Joe Kiry. Good job. Thank you.

So, I was like, I'm just going to say the boys' names. I'm just so excited about how long this blind is. Okay, so wait, she was trying to stoop Steve. Try to stoop Steve Harrington. But then David Harbour swept it. She couldn't, she couldn't stoop Steve Harrington, so she moved on to the serial cheating freak, David Harper. Oh, my God.

She flew her specifically out to see him because they share some of the same kinks. This is after her attempted hookup with the X of the. A-plus list singer. He came up earlier today. He was also in the Brutalist. He's also in Hamnet. He is the X of an A-plus list singer. Oh, Bill Mezkel.

Yeah. The other one, Joe Alwyn. Joe Alwyn. But Paul Meskel also, though, with Gracie Abrams. Ah, yes. Okay, fair, but not him. Joe Allen. Thank you.

I just wanted to say that I was also correct. I would, is Gracie Abrams A-plus? I'm just having fun with friends. Oh, whoa. Ouch. Ask JJ Abrams. M.J. She is checked out.

The A-minus list acting brother of the actor-director hated how she was always asking for more and more and more. So he dumped her. How many people has this lady slept with? Okay. A-minus-list acting brother of the actor-director. The actor-director, oh, he's sad. Saffty.

Yes. Okay. He's smoking cigarettes. No, safty. Yeah. What is, no. I don't know what is I'm talking about the safti bro

I think you were making a what do you call it when you motion to words together Jake you can answer this I feel like I'm having a brain borgmento I know that word I thought saffty was a portmanteau for this the actor director who is always

sad and always has his donkeys Oh Ben Affle Saffty yes Sad Affleck That's what I thought that you were doing. Who's his A-minus list brother? The other one?

The other one, Casey Affleck. The A-M-1-Lex-Lead movie that one time. I remember that? Yeah, and the bad reputation. Liam. Get out of here. What you're talking about? Get out of here, Jake.

No, but also get into you. I need your help, too. We're almost done. We're almost done. The A-minus-List acting brother, Casey Affleck of the actor-director, Ben Affleck, hated how much she was always asking for more and more and more, so he dumped her. There was also the one-night stand with the pirate actor.

No, not Johnny D. Yes, Johnny D. C.J., this is why you would keep you around. So this is just a slut-shaming list of people that this yodder has allegedly slept with. I'm going to read the whole thing again with the names. Okay, yes. This former Yotter, former YouTube star turned actress Emma Laird, failed to land the streaming actor, Joe Keri. So she moved on to the serial cheating freak from the same show, David Harbour. He flew her out to see her specifically because they share the same kinks.

This is after her attempted hookup with Joe Alwyn failed. The Casey Affleck hated how much she was always asking for more and more. So he dumped her. There was also the one-night stand with Johnny Depp. So who we feel bad for is Emma Laird in this. I think Emma Laird is the victim of it. of this blind as I'm reading. That's correct.

This poor young person. I'm sorry. And then to be reduced to nothing more than a slut-shaming mad lid. I love it. It's so brutal. Because MJ2 is constantly like, oh, the lists you bring in, it's always so sad. It's so sad. And then it's just this point.

Let's slut shame this young person. I try to also, I really try hard to avoid the slut-shaming blinds because they're mostly slut-shaming. And I thought this, wow, eight names I know. But I mean, if she's banging this many people, I mean, we got to say the blind. We got to do the blind. Before we move on to the comestible portion, which is one of my favorite parts of the podcast. Thank you.

We didn't get to talk about Taylor Swift kind of paying up front, like bumping a bride from the fancy Rhode Island venue. And all the articles that I saw about this were. Like, why June 13th? What is it about this date? What is it about this venue? What's so important? And once again, beautiful, intelligent, funny, graceful. Oh, no.

She went to the Swifties? No, no, no. This is the real secret. Oh. June 13th is the anniversary of BTS's forming. And June 13th, 20206 is their 13th anniversary. And the first time they'll be launching a comeback with all the members back from the military. But that's her number, Jake.

But what is Taylor's birthday, Jake? Jake, that's her half birthday. And also that's her number, Jake. But what about? Charlie XX, Lana Del Rey, what does she do? She's like, if someone was going to grab more headlines than her, she plays interference. She goes hard in the race to make sure that their rivals don't get the headlines. Yes, she does. And this anniversary, it's called the BTS Festa. It happens every year. It is a massive fan event. They're turning it into an Olympic level, like, gathering of the army juggaloes, basically. I mean, that is really cool.

That makes me very happy. Yeah, that's cool. And so she, I think this is what it's actually about. Wow. Because what is the one global force of pop music that could rival her? You're right, BTS definitely fucking could and put her in the ground. And so she has to get that wedding, those spectacles, the photos, those stories out to muddy the waters. I believe this.

I believe this 100%. Completely believe. leave this completely because I the idea of being like I need this wedding venue so much I'm going to pay you off and kick you out of your wedding venue because it's my half birthday to be fair that is believable for Taylor Swift because she loves to look inward and I do I do imagine her being nice way of saying it she likes to look inward wow wow you have a way with words MJ that is such a that's such a bless her heart you know I saw her the other day transfixed by her own reflection in a pond and I was like,

oh, isn't that sweet? Oh, look at her. Oh, she's barking again. Oh, oh, there she goes. But she'll find her face eventually. Oh, well, I can certainly see again, and I can see that Taylor Swift is trying to steal BTS's Thunder. Damn, right.

We can. Thank you so much to the beautiful, voluptuous Marie for getting us that information. And I appreciate. A lot of people are listening to being like, Jake talks about Marie's body a lot. I'm uncomfortable by it. And then you'll meet her and you'll be like, God damn.

Yeah, I get it. Oh, blah. The way we talk on this show, I don't think any. I think everyone's like, you're damn right. You're damn right she is. I mean, I'm sorry, respectfully. Respectfully. No, we felt so welcome when we first finally made it to L.A.

And we met you and Jeff for a lovely dinner. And you just immediately started yelling, Auga. Auga. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, that's how I feel. whenever I see your beautiful partner,

it is just like, like, sirens go off in my brain. And respectfully, I'm not going to take your partner from you. Thank you. And I did look you fleetingly in the eyes, as I said it, which means I might be correct about that. I don't know. Who knows what the future is going to hold? Who knows if I'm going to have to move.

I watch a lot of sister wives. I watch a lot of sister wives. And I think that there's a lot to extra hands on the homestead. But it's time for Jackie Snackies. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky.

I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar.

They say I'm going to snack me. I'm going to get some chips. I'm going to get some dips. Yes. And we've got this is, this is a red letter day. Jake Young, this is big because our amazing, wonderful Adam, who you heard from last week.

Now, Adam has been helping a bitch out because I've been looking, you know, I'm always looking for snackies, and I'm always on the lookout. And specifically, salt and straw came out to bring back the taco-chaco. Chaco-taco. I got so excited.

I got so excited that I could barely say it. He is risen? This is the reason for the season. Yes. You can't get mad at me. I thought he's educated you that he reached. Chaco, Tocco has risen, MJ, right? He rises at Easter.

Taco Tocco has come. Chaco, taco has risen. Chaco, Taco will come again or will it. We don't know if it will. That's why we have to eat it. Again, Adam waited in just like, was checking on the, looking up, because waiting for it to come back in stock, it did. He grabbed us to, we're trying the brand new, but also maybe the same, but maybe better than it used to be. Chaco Taco Taco Calabbed with Salt and Straw.

Wow. Well, Salt and Taco Bell and Taco Bell. They're fancy, though. So is it because Chaco Taco, famously something you get from the ice cream truck. Oh, yeah, no. Like, it has to be pure. like if it doesn't have the carajina the gel and gum. It comes

with a little fake hot sauce packet. Oh my God. That's wildberry cinnamon. Oh my God. It comes with a Taco Bell hot sauce packet. A Taco Bell hot sauce packet. We have two different kinds. Wait, what's your kind? Mine is wildberry cinnamon. Mine's mango

jalapeno. Ooh, I would fuck with that. Oh, we get both. We get both. Oh my God! I'm sorry. I'm screaming. It's the most wonderful time. Okay, an extra crunchy waffle taco packed with cinnamon, ancho, ice cream, dunked in dark chocolate and studded with puffed quinoa. Oh, this ain't your mama's chocolate.

I see. This ain't my mama's chocolate taco taco. Ingredients include chocolate coating, milk, cream, a wafer, vanilla extract, cinnamon, salt, dextrose, carogene and guargum. Oh, yeah, we're slow back, baby. Oh, baby. All right, I got to get a little, I got to get a smear of this juice on here. Wow.

So this is a taco bell club. Interesting. Adam, how long did you have to wait in line for this? I know, I can't believe you got these for us. This is big. This is a big get. I did not have to wait in line at all, but I have gone to Salt and Straw like three or four times in the last like month or two and just been like, all right, well, I'm not going to just get ice cream. Oh, no, and you didn't get other things?

Well, I mean, how many pints of ice cream can I eat? Separate. Come on over my house, Adam. I'll show him. All right. I'm going to give the mango jalapeno a squirt

onto, I'm putting it right on the chaco. Or do you do a suck out the packet? Do you suck out the packet? Suck out the packet? Whoa, we suck it out the packet. What?

Is this what we're doing with Taco Bell? I love Taco Bell hot sauce. Don't get me wrong. You'd squirt and then there's like a little flavor bonus at the end where you suck a little packet. The mango jalapeno has some zest to it. You don't have to open your secret.

This is making me every time I pass the Flatbush Avenue Taco Bell I want to go in there and I don't always go in there I should all right go in there cheers this bite goes out to you and to Adam it's called the Taco Latte by the way which is whatever oh that is sublime fuck that is so good so wait do you get this at salt and straw do you get this a salt and straw they don't have a Taco Bell I'm always looking at

I thought the sauces were actually really good I don't know if you guys are digging on those but I just ended up mixing them all go habini The mango is so good. The mango is so good. The wildberry cinnamon, like, yeah, whatever. It's like a spice jam, like, take it or leave it. Mango jalapino is special. But the wafer is crisp.

It has that perfect, like, ice cream chocolate. With the cinnamon ice cream, too, because of the regular, I'm sorry, I'm like choking. You're choking on your mango habanero. No, it's very crunchy, shockingly, which is great. You know what, though? I like that there's more ice cream in it because in a chaco taco taco, something that I love about a chaco taco, the original, is when you bite it, it almost squeezes down so it feels like you're biting through only the outside layers, which I like. Yeah. Because I'm a Kit Kat kind of bitch.

I love like a pressed wafer, chocolatey wafers that are all pressed together with just a little bit of a squeench of the ice cream. This is not that. actually like a well-shaped, well-built, and that the actual shell is not, you know, that the, remember that the OG ones, they were a little, um, soggy. Sogy. Yeah, they were just soggy. They didn't have a crunch. That's true.

This has a crunch. This is so unbelievably good. Um, I, with, I can't believe it comes with the toppings. And I now understand, Adam, why you went back multiple times to go and try. And you did this for us. That's so nice. You did this for us, Adam. I will tell you, after getting them, Sam and I did get too high one night.

We ate the ones that we were supposed to bring. That's my favorite part of the story. And I did go back a couple days later to pick them up. What's your favorite? Do you like the mango habaniero or do you like the berry compote more? I just cracked them both open, slathered them all over the whole thing. I love the whole thing. I'm an easy lay on this one.

I was texting Jackie. I have the tacos and then unsending the text later. I was worried because I was suddenly like, you've been trying to get this for months. Whatever it is how I've got to get it? You've told Jackie you can do this. To be fair. Just waking up with the rappers in your bed,

just being like, oh, no. Man, how often did you, man, when I used to live alone, I used to wake up with rappers, like, just trapped to my body on my stomach under my breasts every day. or just like open things of mozzarella sticks, just like mozzarella sticks loose in the bed because we would get

him at the bodega downstairs. That's like, you know, I guess there's a lot of confessions for me today. Yeah, wow. All right. I think it's the Christmas season. I got to say, Jackie, I was fully ready to be like, it's ham flavored skittled. No. Whatever gross monstrosity.

Last week. Last week was, and also I want to say specifically, I mean, we can try them. You want me to pull out the turkey? No. You have another turkey and stuff in order? I'll bring it out if you want. I feel like you need a little punishment.

I'm going to be thinking about this ice cream treat for the rest of my life. It is that fucking good. But honestly, though, when Adam said that he could get them, I literally looked up to see who was hosting, co-hosting with me this week, to see if they deserved it. And I immediately went, it's Jake. Oh my God, he deserves it more than anyone else. He does.

It's literally what I said. And so because I'm taco worthy. You are. You're chaco taco-warro. And that is saying a lot. Now, MJ, what have we got going on over there? Speaking of the bodega. Everything they snack.

AJ's been at munchies. Ooh. This is not a particularly bodega-e snack, but I do have the Pringles Dill Pickle in my tour. Oh, my God, yes. Tour of Dill Pickle tips. Something happened. There's like a Cisco had like a run of Dill flavoring and everybody's got it now.

You know what it is? Every year the snack. lords choose certain things. This year it was Dill Pickle. I know that they are, I forgot what it was. They were talking about for next year that they're starting to, I mean, they're doing a lot more big, bad Oreo Clouds. What do we think in, MJ?

It's definitely not bad. It is good. But like, yes, I have been doing a tour now of all the different pickle chips. But, you know, I think the original pickle chip, at least that I remember having, was just probably a lays, just like a normal potato chip with, like, heavy pickle flavoring. Are we talking kettle cooked or are we talking not? No, just like a normal. I feel like there's just like a bright green lays bag from years ago. This is not like trendy snack. Like just like a normal dill pickle chip. And, you know, because it's true that the dill pickle

trend is trending right now. But also there's been regular old dill pickle, regular chips around for a while. And this is hearkening back to that. It just tastes like a pringle that is like a regular dill chip, dill pickle chip, but a pringle. And it's, It's fine. I'm surprised at how not pickly it is because I've been living with the consequences of having those hot ones pringles around all week since last week. And they are so intense. I know with such good flavor. The hot ones pringles, not only are they spicy.

There's three different kinds. My favorites, the green one, but they have really good flavor. Like a depth. Yes. But also it's like heavy-handed, like perhaps too heavy-hand. I just, the other night I was like, oh, I'll have some of the hot ones prinkles. And then I just immediately had a stomach cake. And I was like, okay, I don't need to do this.

I think I could throw away these prinkles. Oh, don't give up. I don't usually throw away the snacks even if I don't like them. But I did throw away the weird enchilada pringles. But so the dill pickle ones are fine, but they're certainly, I would say, dare I say, a little forgettable in the landscape of dill pickle chips. Honestly, this is good to note because I have been feeling like some of them are a little too overpickled.

I think it is almost, at points, almost too much flavor. Yeah, and this is underpickled. A good dill chip, I feel like the Pringle form is not the ideal way. Yeah. The same way of salt vinegar chip is ideally a thin cut, a lace style. Yeah, yeah. I need crevasses. I want to get, like, I want folds in my chip.

I want to find secret pockets of flavoring. And I, listen, I will house Pringles. They are very good. But also, yeah, I just a composite chip is never, to me, quite as good as a regular old. As a proper crisp. Yes, I need, like, just a regular old bag of chips is all. always what I'm going to choose. But you won't be disappointed

with the Pringle-Skel Pickles. This is very good to know. Yeah. Sounds like it might be time for Jakey Slakey's. I tell you what a glug, what I really, really glug. Tell me what you glug, what you really, really glug. I want to, go on a, go on a, go on a, go on. I really, really, really want to drink up on.

It's Jakey Slakey's. Wow. The segment within a segment within a segment where I get a chance to showcase the latest bits of beverage technology. I love beverage technology. Now, Jackie, have you been drinking normal old stupid water for idiots? I have.

That's what I have in my stupid water bottle right now. It's just stupid water. What are you doing? They made vitamin water. They made coconut water. You're right. Remember 2011 and everybody had coconut water and it was great for hangovers? Oh, it was great for hangovers. We only were hungover then, though. That was the problem. Every second of every day.

Well, finally, in the late in the year 2025 there's a new water in town and it's not like your dad's water oh yeah move over coconut water now we got woodstock brand organic banana wall no jake no how do they get water out of a banana what do they do where do they find the water inside of a banana according to the marketing pablum on the side of the can say yellow to plant powered hydrations no i won't i will They'll not say yellow to it. Crafted from two heirloom bananas that deliver superior taste and a bunch of nutrients. Except it's not a bunch, it's two.

I love that they thought that everyone was like, wow, two bananas, one can. That's unbelievable. This is obviously hangover coated as well because we've all been told that bananas have a lot of shit to help it. Is it viscous? Is it viscous? Oh, the color is really bad. Oh, no, is it piss? Oh, it's really bad.

Oh, you wish for piss. Oh, no. You'd be praying for piss. Oh, no. Jackie, describe what is in this cup right now. Say you hello. Oh, to this King's Cup. It looks like the bottom of the puke bucket at the end of LPN Funhouse.

I'm surprised it is not chunky, but it is giving someone may have accidentally puked up into my coffee. That's surprising. That's why it is more of like a... It is cloudy and brown. It is cloudy and brown. And again, what... I guess is it because once the bananas become aerated, they get brown? Is that really what this is?

I mean, they do oxidize. That is part of the natural process. But it does contain five key vitamins and minerals, including B6, vitamin C, magnesium, and manganese, and 700 plus milligrams of electrolytes in the form of magnesium and potassium. It's the peel good beverage. Oh, how many stupid puns gonna have this fucking can. Okay. Not, I was really expecting to, like, revolt.

Like, it's banana coconut water. I was supposed to say, oh, we're like banana iced tea. Is it like a banana aqua fresca or no? No, because I love banana. I love a banana milk, aqua fresca. You know I'll fucking jump on that. Have you ever eaten a, like, a dried banana, like a chocolate covered dried banana.

Yes. Or like one of the, like the hippie store. Yeah. That chewy kind of brown. Yes. So it's that like kind of carmely fruit flavor. Hmm. But watered down.

It's not, I'm not the most mad at it. I'm not the most, I just went in for another sip. I'm not the most mad at it. I would not choose it. I wouldn't be like, I'm on the go. Let me grab one of these nanner one. I don't think that I would do that. I don't think I ever.

And I like, but my issue too is that I love. Real banana? I also love fake banana. So that's why, honestly, this, I should really genuinely love this. It is just such a weird hybrid of drinks. All the reviews are upset that it's so expensive. People saying it's tasty but expensive. I actually really like the taste of bananas. They're actually like how expensive it was.

It actually made me feel good. I knew there were two bananas in this can. At this point, if I know I'm going to be a little, on the show. I make a stop at Gelson's, the super fancy supermarket. I'm like, rich people are going to drink all sorts of weird shit. Yeah. Oh, all stupid shit. Wow.

This is, thank you, Jake. Thank you for letting us explore. Thank you. This has been such a, wow, Chaco Taco Taco, pickle chips, banana water. We ran the gamut here on our snack portion of our show.

I hope you enjoyed it. I hope You also enjoyed our amazing guest co-host, Jake Young, thank you. God, we love having you here. We get such wonderful feedback. Let us know in the comments that you love Jake on the show because I love seeing it. And I want you to know that you are being supported out here by the page seven community that loves you, baby. The page seven community is a beautiful bunch of people. I got to meet them when we were on tour together.

I am so happy I get to be a part of this show sometimes. and the comments have always been really nice. If for some ungodly reason, you want to listen to more of me, you can go to Nerd of Mouth right here on the LPN Network. That is me, Holden-McNeely, and Mike Lawrence, and we talk about movies, comic books, video games, action figures. We're doing a two-part holiday called What Makes a Good Christmas Movie, followed by What Makes a Good Hanukkah, Whatever We Get.

Oh, fun, that's green. Whatever's thrown our way. Yeah. Oh, sing the dreidel song again. Real inventive. Bringing something new to the table. That sounds great. A macababies got to do what a mac of baby's got to do. Also, on Twitch Thursdays, 7 p.m. is the cartoon dumps. That's 7 p.m. Eastern. The cartoon dumpster, my weekly deep dive into the most gonzow cartoons of the 80s, 90s, and 2000s.

It is always a rollicking good time. We watch classics like Transformers, Gem, and the holograms, as well as long-forgotten oddities like Ozzy and Dricks and the Inhumans. It's a grand old time. I hope to see you there. Thank you both so much. Thank you, Jake. Oh, my God. And thank you, MJ. And thank you to everybody that has been hanging out with us.

And thank you so much for listening. And just this week, if you want it, if you need it and you know that you do, go on over to twitch. com. Who's the B? Because we've got the holiday pitchathon. Beer, beer, paper, beer, beer, beer. And maybe Jake will be joining us. because we are going to be forcing a makeshift LPN holiday party

during the bitch-a-thon to try to convince the other people to come to it. It's going to be four hours of bitching. And yeah, there's going to be buzz balls. So get your balls up. Come hanging out with us this Thursday from 4 to 8 p.m. Pacific time. And that is 7 to 11 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. MJ? Yeah, you can email us, page 7podcast, e-mail.com.

We love hearing from you. We're having a great time at our Patreon. This week's celebrities is just a holiday movie romp. We love you guys so much. Jake, we love you the most. And we will see you tomorrow for Second Helpings. Bye, everybody. Bye.

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