Page 7 - Cuckin' That Dunkin' w/ Mike Lawrence

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Mike Lawrence to goss' 'bout those Oscar noms, including "Hamnet" "Sentimental Value", plus somehow "F1" and a rundown of past Oscar moments, as well as some talk about how they are changing the ceremonies (for the worse). Kirsten Dunst shared a video saying her husband, Jesse Plemons, should gotten a nom since Tim Tim did, and then we got THE LIST full of extremely TMI admissions from famous people that will make you question if they are oookkkaaayyyy!!! Followed by blindz that let Mike know he WOULD like a cuckin', and a throwback to those childhood UTIs with a soapy Jackie's Snackie's from 1:07:27.553 til 1:18:22.489, with ANOTHER chip that's not a chip in a never-ending quest AND A BRANDSPANKIN'NEW THEME SONG during MJ's Minute Munchies at 1:14:39.306!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Last week we were talking about her about unfortunate things, but man, then you throw on tragic kingdom and Sorry, I'm not home right now. Locking it does mind a whims. So leave a message and I'll call you back. Oh, lackless story. But leave a message and I'll call you back. It's such a good song. And then you hear it, it just, man, it just zaps me back to before she was, you know, appropriating other people's cultures.

before she was, I guess, appropriating Southern culture as well before she turned her kids into Gun Toten, Blake Sheltoniacs. Welcome to page seven. And we've got guest host Mike Lawrence in the house today. Welcome, Mike to the show. Thank you.

And no doubt was also cultural appropriation. Originally, the singer was a black guy. And he, he tragically, you know, killed himself. And she took over. What?

So, like, all the style stuff. Yeah. So it was, so it was an appropriation from. So is that why she just kept it going? You know, Harajuku is a place. It's not even something she made up. She doesn't know that either. The no doubt thing is true.

I remember they're behind the music very well. Oh, my God. And Eric Sopani was in the band and she was just hanging out. And then they're like, we should have her in the band. And remember she dates the guitarist, leaves a guitarist. Don't speak. Yep, yep. Oh my God.

You just blew our brains. This is why we need you on the show all the time. Is there like a box set of VH1 behind the music that we all grew up on that we could revisit? I wish there was. The first episode ever was Milly Vanilli. And they're like, follow this. And then they came back with like VH1 classics and they did updated like they would do like a five minute addendum. of the old episodes.

I'm like, I don't need to see how Pat Benatar's doing 10 years after. I do. That's fair. Speak for yourself, Mike. But now I want it though.

Now I... Divorce is also a battlefield. Yeah. I do want the pop-up videos to come back, though. There's something of... I love trivia in my videos. I do love it in my movies as well.

Because VH1 definitely culturally appropriated. Oh, yeah. I mean, they were taking lots. But also, Is V-H-1? I guess it's over, right? MTV, is it over?

Is it over? It's all gone. VH-1. I mean, their names now. Still there? I'm like, I don't even know how. Yeah, I mean, I, well, I don't know. I haven't had cable in too long, so I don't know how people interact.

So all the music channels in Europe just stopped airing. And the last song they played was Video Killed the Radio Star, which, you know, the first MTV. Damn, it all comes full circle. Yeah, with the buggles. And now, Mike, you are. Man, you're everywhere writing for so much right now. And we're so excited to have you on because we've got Mike Lawrence, writer of the Golden Globes. Not only this Golden Globes, but how long?

You've been writing for. Last year, when Nikki took over. And I just found out news here. We got nominated for a WGA award. Oh, congratulations. That's awesome. Congratulations. So that's cool of like the writers picking you.

Yes. Yes. That means everything. We didn't get the Emmy nom, but like we got this one. It's like, oh, this is, this is cool. This is your guilt. That's a better way. Congratulations.

Yeah, I always support an institution that gives me health care. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll say whatever you want me to say. You're going to get me health care. The bear hilarious. Definitely a comedy. I mean, this is not an interview show, Mike.

We're not going to interview. I am curious just for you as a, to prepare for something like writing for the Golden Globes, do you try to consume as much of the culture as possible? Like, there's just so much. Like, what is, or do you guys, like, split it up? I mean, everyone's different. The, the website that they had this year was phenomenal. You know, so for years and years, it was the screeners, which, you know, and they were

physical for a long time. Oh, my God. And when you're in the WGA, you also, they send you screenplays. They send you, like, these little, you know, they're like, like, those, like, archy double digest from back of the day. Are they ripping out the trees themselves? They're like, this is good. It was so wasteful.

I mean, my favorite thing was the year after Jimmy Fallon did the Trump head scuffle, they sent us the screener for Jimmy Fallon and it was him sitting with Michelle Obama.

And it's like, we know. Yeah, we don't need that. Wait, wait, they sent a screener for Jimmy Fallon? They sent a screener. for everything, yeah. That's crazy. You can watch it any day of the week.

Yeah, but they pick a specific episode, and that's what gets nominated. Oh. Yeah. But this year, the Globes had this amazing database of everything. It was great for my son, too, because, like, he just got to watch Zootopia 2 a bunch. Hell yeah. He doesn't even know how good he's got it. No, he doesn't.

And, but I get burned out. Like, I used to read for, like, the Independent Spirit Awards in those movies. are really sad. And these movies, you know, it's like this year, the movies weren't as fun as last year. But there were still, like, there were some great ones, but, you know, you don't know how to consume. And so you get, if you watch like three saddies in a row,

you're like, oh, I don't know, man. Like, we did Wicked 2 and Hamnet, and I was like, I'm done. You know, and I want to see Hamnet so badly because I do, I live to be, I either want to be sad, angry, or horny. And man, I feel like. maybe that has all three. Yeah. And that means that's an Oscar winner for me for sure.

But honestly, over the weekend, I did do sentimental value and I did end up watching no other choice. And even those in one day was a lot. Even that back to back was a lot. But man, sentimental value, y'all, it is good. And there's, you know, hear me out. I'm not here saying that like a Leonardo DiCaprio has to get the Oscar, right? It's like you watch like the revenant and you're like, oh, wow, this is, but it is a lot.

And sentimental value is so good. But it's got to be so upsetting for people that do something like a revenant where he like, you know, he's almost losing toes. He's freezing so hard. And then really this is just the obliterating, debilitating idea of having a father. And I think that that is Oscar worthy, you know? The harrowing journey of having a dad. Just man having a dad. Which was a big theme of a lot of the movies this year.

Really? Yeah. We in the room, you know, we're like, there were a lot of like... One battle after another. Yeah, that's daddy problems. Yeah. There were a lot of it's rough being a mom. You know, if I had legs like kick you.

Oh my God. That movie is so good. The whole point of Hamid, if you don't mind me spoiling it a little bit for 1603. If you don't know the story by now, I feel like, you can't be upset for finding. it out. Well, Hamnet, you know, is the child, and everybody knows that he dies. That's why he got nominated for stuff. And, and then the movie.

William Shakespeare or Paul Meskult? And the whole thing is that Shakespeare isn't around. He's an absentee dad. Bad daddy. And Jesse Buckley, you know, Lady Shakespeare, she's like really upset that he's not there for, you know, emotional support, for physical support for all of it. And then... It's the 1600s.

What did she... Now, here's what ends up happening, though. The end of the, the big crux of the movie is her in the Globe theater watching Hamlet for the first time and seeing how brilliant it is and basically be like, I shouldn't be so hard on him. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. So it's like, the whole thing is like, lady, you were nagging him. He's making Hamlet.

He's Shakespeare. Let him cook. Why do you need a husband? All right. But also, she should watch. She's like, my bad. I'm going to have let him have that theater time. Ah, my.

I just finished his and hers, which will surely not be up for any awards. I don't think. It's just a romp of a thriller. It was fine. I enjoyed it. And I don't think this is a spoiler because you find out very early in the first episode. But it is another one where there's a dead kid. And I feel like there's also the Sarah Snook one has a dead kid.

And also the Claire Dane's one has. as a dead kid. And I'm getting a little bit annoyed with, I think it feels like a little bit, a little bit, too many dead kids for emotional, immediate way to heighten the stakes. And what if we earned heightened stakes without having a dead kid right away? I'm not blaming Shakespeare. That was his life. A movie, it's funny though.

It's like a movie with a dead kid that is sad is like a burrito with just a bunch of ghost peppers and you're calling it spicy. I'm like, yeah, but it's not flavorful. Yeah, exactly. Anyone's going to react to this. It is an easy way. I mean, Hamlet is very well done in many ways. What's interesting about sentimental value is, did you also see Jay Kelly?

No, I haven't seen Jay Kelly. Jay Kelly is sentimental value for kids. It's the same movie, but much simpler and a lot more tell than show. So it's made for Americans. Yeah. They dumped it down for us. like narcissistic showbiz dad wasn't there for his daughters

but I don't know sentimental value it did end up hitting me hard and especially as a parent because there's like a moment in the movie where Stirling Stars Guard dad character starts involving

the younger daughter's son into the movie he's making and that feels like it crosses a line and at MJ, I know you're a parent. It's like that thing of like when you start seeing your parents do the things to you that they're doing them to your kid, it's like, no bueno. Right, right. Yeah.

This ends here. And that's, to me, the real gut punch of that movie. Okay. I feel like, can you actually like see then the cycles? Like if something like that happens and you're just like, I see it also. I feel like it's like a beautiful mind moment of like, oh, yeah. All right. Well, this is good for me to know because I love like a long tome about intergenerational trauma. Yeah.

And I love Stelnscar's Garland. Yeah. It's really. It's sentimental values. Yeah. Because you sympathize with him too, to a point. And they talk about his trauma as a child. Also, I do find it fascinating that Stellan Scarsgard, I believe, and now I have to look it up,

but Stellan Scarsgard was not, oh, he was nominated for Best Actor because it was like all four of them are nominated. Best Supporting, correct? Best Support. Yes, best supporting actor. And the first international nominee ever, which that blew my mind. Wait, first international actor and a supporting? Yeah. What?

Nominee? Yeah. That's insane. But it is weird when like a white guy is the first of something. Especially a Scarsger. I mean, it's like, I've been doing this for forever. Yeah. Daddy of an acting dynasty and you're like pioneering Stalin Scars Guard.

Okay. Well, you watch him and then. movie, you're like, there's a reason he's the head of that dynasty. Man, wow. Yeah, but everyone's great in it. It is so, because I feel like it is one of those, I didn't know anything about it going into it. I just knew it was about daddy issues, and that was all I knew.

So watching, it really is one of those Oscar movies where it's like a powerhouse acting performance from all of them. Like, they all just really showed the hell up. And it's cool that the four leads, I mean, the four leads all are not. So that's why I was like, I guess I got to watch this one. Yeah. Really good. Was there, I know that the Oscar Noms is relatively newish news, but was there just

Are people pissed? Are people upset? Are there big stinkers? People being left out. How are, is everyone, how is everybody feeling about it? I have a question. I mean, I guess I have not seen it and I refuse to watch it. But have you, either one of you watched F1?

No, because my dad's dead. I think you Because we don't have to watch it That I don't have to watch that shit anymore Why do you think I never saw Gladyser too? Why do you think I've never watched a Taylor Sheridan show? My dad is under a Yellowstone Yes everyone's upset about that

Because Brad Pitt got nominated It's just the fact that Brad Pitt in F1 We made jokes about F1 throughout all of Christmas. There was the only movie. Maybe it's because we all, I mean, I know it's because we all have Apple TVs.

So it is an Apple made movie. And F1 was just blasted on every single, and I was just like, who cares? Who possibly cares? The movie is just an old white guy explaining racing

to a young black guy. Oh, is that really? Yeah, yeah. Oh my. I just, but here's a thing. I know that as I'm saying this, I mean coaching him, sorry. I hear all of the people out there that are F1 heads.

A lot of F1 heads out there. Lots of them. And every single one of them. They could go F1 themselves. I just feel like every single one of them is like, but you don't understand. Have you watched it? Have you given F1 or try? And they all talk about it like it's this like it's heroin.

And I'm just like, I don't know if I need that. Here's what's funny. This shows how out of touch the academy is, right? Ever since we've got in these 10. And I'm one of those purists. Like I grew up watching the Oscars. I do think it should be five. I think it's more meaningful when it's just five.

Like these are the five best movies. Yes. I know for marketing purposes, you know, it's not. And the reason they started the 10 was remember to open up to more popular films. And it's so funny that they thought that F1 would be the one that brings in a different audience. But it's like, that's already the husbands begrudgingly watching the audience. the Oscars with their 60-year-old wives. Like, what they should have done,

I think the movie that genuinely did get snubbed out of that 10th slot that F-1 should not be in is K-pop Demon Hunters. Yes. And that would have actually gotten them a newer, fresher audience. You are so right. That's how tone deaf they are, that they can't see that. No, and it's it really just, we have to just wait for the old guard to die

and then we'll just have final. have, because then there are movies like sinners, like very excited, so excited that the Academy is championing sinners, such an amazing movie to be champion. And I like one battle after another, too, to get, like, I'm not surprised or upset that it got so many noms. Like, I think that, yeah, like I thought the, you know, nominate those actors. Same with, like, the fact that those are like sinners and one battle after another are the two kind of main movies I'm excited about because they're both good.

But you, oh my God, Mike, I didn't even, like, it would be, it's reminding me. when Josh Brolin went on a late show and was talking about how good K-pop Demon Hunters was. And he's like, it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. But that would have been just like a really fun way to mix it up and be like, no, but that this is actually a good movie. And maybe after one is a good. And it's a way for your kids to watch the Oscars with you. Right, right. Yes.

People always forget this. And rightfully so, the year of the big slap with, you know, Will Smith and Chris Rock. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But the thing that was being built up that whole Oscars beforehand was, the first live performance of we don't talk about Bruno. For like two and a half hours, they just kept hyping it. Bruno's coming up.

Bruno's coming up. I remember like Megan the Estallion, I think, like did a rap about being at the Oscars during the Bruno song. And it obviously got and forgotten with a slap, but it was like a smart way to get a younger audience. And they had a new producer at the time, Will Packer, who was like, I mean, it's the dichotomy of these award shows where they constantly want to be these ratings things, but also they end up losing the audience they have by not being boring enough. Right.

It's like, you know, it's like there are a lot of people that watch the Super Bowl for the football. Like, I watch the Oscars for the movies. For the movies, yes. Yeah. I want the uncharismatic European cinematographer to get his one moment. Yes. And I want to watch him shine. But also, they are taking more.

and more of the awards off air to even celebrate. I know. So all of the people that are making these movies, they don't even get the celebration that they deserve. We did that at the course this year. The best score was during a commercial break. That's ridiculous. That's just so,

but I understand. And how many movies are the score. Like, that makes the movie. But this is inherently what goes along with adding more to every single, to every category and things like that. It goes along with the clickbait of it,

where it, I mean, it is genuinely, well, people don't want to see people that look like them on TV. And it's like, but these are the best versions of us. They're real. They're the real people. I love to hear. When Mad Max Fury Road won. Yeah, that was a good year.

And they had that, that badass old lady in the leather jacket. She won for best costuming. This is their night. Yes. Yeah, yeah. The movies do not exist without these people. Yeah, these freaks. Actors are important.

Actors help sell tickets. But these are the people that, like, you know, the amount of movies that are saved in the edit, the amount of movies that, like, if you didn't have the score they have would suck. Like, these are important roles. I mean, I remember when they wanted to cut press editing and people are like, no. No, you can't. No, you can't. But then that's why it's like you think about all the people that worked on Wicked for Good. Now, don't worry, MJ.

there are plenty of people out there that are upset that Wicked for Good got zero nominations, but nobody on this show, I don't think. And I'm saying this as a person that likes the musical Wicked. Even I'm like, hell no, no, no, no, it did not deserve any. It's like, but now they're saying, and do you feel that there is any truth to this that Oscar voters were just so annoyed by the double amount of? of publicity and dealing with Cynthia and Ariana and everything they were doing. Do you think that that annoyed them into not voting for the movie? These quotes from this article that you sent, Jackie, from the New York Post, an academy member said, I was just so completely turned off by their promotional performances.

They creeped a lot of people out. And in their rush to feel authentic, they came off as cosplaying. And this is not just like many New York Post articles are like just people tweeting, but this is like actual Academy. member, she's being like, I didn't like the vibe. And I think that you got to have a bad vibe if that's what alienates people from nominating your movie, you know? Yeah. Well, you look at last year, right? And remember, like, remember when Return of the King, like, almost sweeped everything? And it was like this culmination of, like, the other two movies didn't get a lot of awards. They're like, we're waiting for this. Wicked had that feeling last year because Wicked didn't really win that much last year. It won, like, a few things. But, you know, but for the most part, because they wanted you,

they needed you to believe that the second one was going to be better. I truly believe the reason that it didn't get nominated is it is such a waste of time and an insult to people watching it that they're like, I can't let this win. And to go back to what I was saying a few minutes before,

I almost think it's a little unfair to the technical people. I think this movie did win for best costume last year. And the costumes were just as great this year. So then it goes, that fact, all right, so there's five new nominees. Is each of these nominees better than wicked second time? I don't think so. Yeah, right, right. By splitting it into two, yeah, that it was like, and they shortchanged the second one because it didn't deliver like this.

It didn't deliver like Return of the King did, at least according to my husband, who claims that return of the King is the best one. But I don't know, Mike, where you stand on that. And I'm not going to debate you because I I'm not a Lord of the Rings. I'm not a Lord of the Rings guy. No, where are you being nerdish right now? I'm being nerd to be nerd to be nerd and Jay. I assumed that this was your thing. I apologize

for profile of you. How do you feel Mike? Do you want to talk this out? I mean, this is big assumptions here. I haven't heard the word nerdist since 2016. Yeah, it's RIP. Points. No,

I just I am more of a musical theater. I love I love Wicked. I went to see the show in February with, you know, my wife, Adina. And I will say, like, when that intermission hits and you come back, you're like, they did all the good songs, like, for the most part. Like, for good is a great song. Like, but it also, it's like, putting that in the title shows that you don't have anything else. That's what you got.

Yep. And it does have, I believe, like, great songs. It's got two bangers in the end. It didn't need two plus hours to lead up to the two bangers. And Swarzo got it anymore. Yeah, it just, it's just that. That's the big snub if you want to look at a snub. Oh, that you added a new song to it and that didn't get nominated?

Yeah, that too new song. How about that? How about that boring song that didn't even get nominated? So like when we were talking about the song that they wrote for Cats 2019 and Beautiful Ghost, which is still not even. close to being, I mean, arguably, memory is the best song in the movie. Arguably, Beautiful Ghost is up. Well, we discussed it.

There's three good songs in the movie, and I don't think Beautiful Ghost is one of them. But I'm to imagine if we came back to this podcast 30 years later and added 15 minutes to it. It's probably not going to fit with everything else. It's weird. I mean, you know, like, you know, like, I bet, I bet Andrew Lloyd Weber likes dogs more now. It was weird for him to go back to cats. You know? And it is funny, though, because we have discussed it.

We were trying to break the curse of cats, so we watched it twice. And it's just, it's still so crazy to me that he just wrote it about cats. There's no underlying story. It is literally just about cats. Well, crazy that they thought that was going to be the Oscar sweep. And I think that's probably the most embarrassing Oscar miss. $100 million mistake? Yeah, I'd say so.

I think we'll historically look at that movie as like an instrumental shift in the stinginess of Hollywood now, where they really, I mean, now it's so hard to sell anything to get money for anything. It doesn't seem that way, but it really is. No. And so on the inside. And cats where it's like, we're literally just giving this to you. I mean, Joker 2 was also this. They just gave Tom Phillips Because we trusted you with the last thing

And you did great with it But also, Les Mizz is a better musical than can't Agreed. It is. Of course it is. Foundational text is, yeah, people didn't love how it was executed in 2012 La Mizz, but the text is flawless. Being based on a novel versus being based on poems.

One inexplicable poem. People got messaging me and being like, you know it's based on a poem. I'm like, that doesn't answer any of our questions. The polls are about cats. They're just about cats. It opens up more questions. The T.S stands for totally sucks elegant.

Totally sucks. Now, wait, I also, while we're on Oscar snubs, I do want to talk about Kirsten Dunds, ultimate green flagging move of standing up for her wonderful husband, who we all love, Jesse Plemons, who got snubbed for Bagonia. And then everyone was like, you're a bitch. And, or you're great because she was like, she reposted some memes about. how if Timothy Salome got nominated, so should have Jesse Plemans. And I did not see Bologna, but I'm assuming you guys have and I need your guys's thoughts.

It is, I loved it. I love Bologna. I and Emma Stone got the nom and she deserves it. And I truly feel Jesse Plemons was unbelievable. He's amazing. He's amazing. Everything he does, I feel like he should just have a de facto domination for most of the things that he does.

Honestly, anything that he touches. And it's so funny because I love that Kirsten Dunst. So Kierza-Dunce does live, like they live somewhere in our vicinity. I know that they bring the kids to similar things that the kids go to. And just knowing that they are, it's like they are also both involved in their children's lives. They are, like, it is something that they do together. They go on walks as families. They, they, they, I just genuinely seem to like them as people.

Yeah. And Jesse Plymins deserved that goddamn nod, man. He deserved it. He also, it's like, he's not out here complaining about, I mean, what did he have to do? What was he just eating orange rinds? He was just like a, he was a tiny version of himself. He was just a stick, that poor boy. But he was so good.

Do you think it's poor etiquette for a Hollywood actor to repost a video in which someone else says that Timothy Chalameh didn't do as much as Jesse Plemans. I think that's perfectly fine. I don't think that that's like bitchy and undercutty. I think it's fun. I mean, the thing that that we forget is award season and the campaign for award season is like four months, like minimum, maybe five when you first start really pushing it. And it's exhausting. These people see each other everywhere and you have to make it fun. Like it's always great.

like, you know, when I would work at like, you know, the Globes or the spirits, like, these are their open mics for what they think their Oscar speech is going to be. Wow. Yeah, you're right. And it's the thing of like, hey, you might want to do your best here. Like, you may not want to wait to thank your spouse. They may want to do it here. Just get it out now.

And it's this thing of, I think that Chalemay wouldn't take offense to it. Like, that's ultimately when you look at an insult, is it hurting the person? that it's about. Right. And I don't think he would care. I think he would be like, oh, I, you know, hey, Kylie, why don't you support me like that? Right. Yes.

And it just, I feel like Timothy's doing fine. And I feel like a lot of the, the comments on Kirsten Dunst doing this being like, how dare you take it out on Timothy? Yeah, right. As if he is a downtrodden new face or something. Yeah. But, but, you know, a part of the problem. And the worst thing Harvey Weinstein ever did. But the way that he restructured Oscar campaigning where it really did become more about like manifesting it and this thing of like, it's just his time and all of that does kind of take the fun out of it.

It takes out the actual performances. Right. Because then it just becomes about narratives. Yeah. And it becomes about who the person is. Yeah. And whose story is better. and like, you know, I do think Leo was in better performances than the Revenant, but we just

decide this is Leo's time. Yeah, it has to. Yeah. And I mean, because, you know, we love narratives. Like, even this year, the narrative of Leo versus Shalameh, the old guy versus the new guy and, you know, who's going to win. I mean, I just think that, like, it does feel like it's such Shalame's year. And I do think he's going to win that it's. fine for Plymins to not be in it.

It's also, I almost think it hurts Plymins' credibility a little bit in the sense that let him be our little secret. Let him be the best part of everything without him having to be everywhere. Right. You know, like him and Game Night is one of my favorite performances. God, he's a game night genuinely great fun movie.

But him in it is just the most unreal because he's playing it so seriously and that's what makes it funny. and you know and and remember people used to call him fat David all the time and then like at a point we just accepted he's a better actor than Matt Damon. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But you know, it's like the, you look at Bagonia, it ultimately is a character actor's performance. He goes places in that movie that I don't think a movie star would.

100%. That it was, so I also went into Bagonia. I hadn't seen the original so I didn't really know. I knew nothing about it. It's based on a Korean movie. Yes. And I just was so sucked. Like, it was one of the, it was a real go-to-the-moos cinema movie, you know?

Yeah, it was. I saw it in the theaters. It was so fun. Right? And it was just such an experience to have that, like, and watching him shine. And there's a fat autistic kid in it, so I felt seen. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I felt seen. Oh, my. My God, speaking of fat autistic people, you know what? I'm glad that you're here, Mike, because I wanted to bring up Ron Funches on the traitors. Are you watching the traitors at all? I'm aware of it, and I do know Ron. And I was, and I, this has nothing to do with him as a person. But last week, I was giving him shit because I'm just watching the traders.

And he was saying, I don't like talking to anybody behind the scenes. I don't want to get to know anybody. Which was a life. He was like, everyone was like, you're not being very talking about. So maybe you're a traitor. he's like, I just don't like talking to you guys. And I was like, that's great. I love that.

But they all... I just don't enjoy the idea of talking to me. Exactly. And so they all assumed that he was a traitor. So a part of me that I was like, but that's what the game is. The game is also selling yourself outside of the cameras. But then this week, he has,

because he got so much flack for saying that, he has come out and said that he has an autism diagnosis. Yeah. And then we started receiving so many of like, do you see? Do you see? And I was like, okay, I was literally talking about the game. Like, I think it's wonderful him.

I hope that that he does the work, whatever work that he needs to do. I hope that brings him solace. I hope that it is. But still, the game is still to go and sell yourself and to sell yourself as a faithful. And he didn't do a good job of it. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, I, the reason I don't like that show is because I can't get into the drive. of it because it's meant to be manufactured and that's the point. Of course. But the idea of like,

I can't believe you lied to me. It's like, well, yeah, that's, I mean, as we're here. Yeah. We're all in Scotland to do this. I was kind of shocked that he did it in the first place. I mean, the dude was in Inside Out two last year, which was like the highest grossing movie of last year. He's doing very well for himself. And I don't know. Like, you got to know what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with. And it's also, look, like, the part of the problem is these producers who want someone on a show aren't being completely honest. It's funny. I just interviewed for a show before I came in here. And I didn't like how the interview made me feel. And that's when I knew was like, I probably shouldn't do the show.

Good for you. Because that's just going to be that all the time. All the time. And it's, and look, I worked on Love Island. As I wrote, I co-wrote the video, the first season. I was in Fiji in a shipping container watching all the cut out footage and stuff. It's like it's, you know, these people's jobs to make a show and you are just a prop in it. Right. Yeah. And it's making it look bad. Yeah. I mean, the real betrayals often are the producers and and the contestants because they will say anything to get you on that show and to win your trust. Did you ever watch that show unreal? No. Oh, you would love it. It's, uh, it was a show on Lifetime. time.

Oh, now you're speaking on language. Oh my God, I did watch this show. Yes, about the, yes, about the, from the producers of the Bachelor. Yeah.

And then they made a fiction show. Yes, I did watch this show. Yeah. And this, this woman, her superpower is emotional manipulation. Yes. And it's like a Bachelor type show

and she's able to get people to do what she wants them to do. But it was also, I believe, one of the executive producers was, one, like was an actual producer of that. She wrote like a tell-all book. Yes. And then she, yeah, was like,

AP of the show. Man, I forgot about that show. And it was fun, but it is that thing of like, this is what you got to do of like you, it was so funny. There was one time on Love Island when there was this one contestant that she would always find her way in front of the camera and like hug and all that. And there was

like a dinner thing. And we're like, everyone's hungry but she seems especially thirsty. You know, what's the joke that we wrote? And the producer came in and he's like, and almost all these people are British. She's like, can you stop chastising her for doing her damn job? It's like, if I wish everyone was like that on the show. I always think it's interesting when they have standups on shows like The Trader,

like when they have comics on too, because I'm like, the comics job is to make fun of everything and not take it. too seriously and not be super sincere. Whereas, like, I feel like, obviously the reality stars are like, this is what I do. And then even like the drag queens are like, yeah, I'm a messy bitch who lives for drama. This is perfect for me. And so I just feel like tone wise, the stand-up is always going to be kind of the odd one out because they're just not going to like breathlessly and sincerely immediately buy into this really silly world because their job is to kind of see it and make fun of it. Right. And part of Funch's success was being

an odd one out among comedians, you know? Ah, okay. Being very unique and, you know, sticking out. And it's like he, the second that he started getting cast and stuff, they're like, we want a Ron Funge's type. And it's like, you're just going to get funches. Right, right. You know, he carved this amazing niche.

He's so funny and talented. I know. That's why I don't. I also. But I don't, I don't know how that would translate to reality TV. It didn't. Do it well, unfortunately. But then it is, it just, if he'd watch the show, I feel like if I didn't want to talk to people,

there's no fucking way you would get me on that show because it's all, it all it is is emotional manipulation. So I just, I'm glad, you know what, I will say, if for everybody that's keeping up with the traders, I will glad that, you know what, it seemed like he wasn't having a blast and I think it's for the best that he's not on the show anymore. Now, you know, I saw him release a stand-up clip. Now he's going to, you know, make money off of talking about how uncomfortable it was. Which is great. Yeah. That's what I wanted.

Which is great. And so maybe that's what he was doing it for. Maybe he's trying to get. But also question, Mike, working on Love Island, did you work on the season with Rob the Snake Man? Where he's covered in snake tattoos. And he's a snake handler. No, I worked with a guy who had a way more insane tattoo than that. yeah, what kind of a tattoo? Can you talk about it?

Oh, yeah. It was a Native American and the headdress, the feathers were all assault rifles. Oh. And what you're not going to believe is that during the four weeks we were on the air, two mass shootings happened. You know, because America. That's pretty low, actually. Because it's like they can't put a shirt on them. It's Love Island.

Right. to Leveloyalty. Jeff has made so many jokes of walking through because he doesn't watch Love Island, but I watch LeVilent of walking through and just being like, do they cast them based on how bad the tattoos are without their shirts on?

Because it's like they all don't have a shirt on the entire time. This, on the last season, there was a guy and he had these horrible, two cherub tattoos on his chest, and both of them, I think one had some huge samurai knife and the other one

had an AK-47 and it was just like, why did you feel the need to get that tattoo? I think a part of it is like they want people that you know who they are with the sound off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that whole Netflix executive quote of like you want to be able to, like, we're developing content specifically for people who are doing something else. Yeah. You know, folding their laundry. But I, Mike, how, I have a question for you, which is to write for a show where the

people are people who are on Love Island. Like, do you feel, do you feel affection for them? Do you find, do you feel like, do you feel like you have to try to figure out how to identify with them in order to, like, oh, do they all just blend together? Like, how do you approach this? There are so many of them and there's so many hours. Like, it feels like you're watching the cutting room floor, just watching the produced episode because it's so long, you know? Yeah, I mean, it was crazy, you know, like, so we would start at 1 a.m. till noon, which is essentially live. Oh my God.

8 p.m. the night before New York. And, and, you know, so different edits come in, but, like, you basically, like, you do get attached a little bit. Like, it was really sweet. It was like at the end of the season, everyone had a board tabulating who they thought was going to win the money because they, you do get invested because you're mostly in these people all the time. Yeah.

And it is, it is fun. And it's like, I think parts of your personality, you start to see in them. Like, I mean, I've always, you know, felt socially awkward and stuff. And like, so whenever there was, there was this one guy who was like, he was such like a Mr. Salafane. No one paid attention to him. He was so, like, by himself. And, like, that was my guy.

That's your guy. Yeah. And he lasted pretty long just because no one, he wasn't in people's faces enough for them to get sick of them. Uh-huh. But I would always like, oh, there he is. That's my friend. Yeah, is my buddy. But it was also funny was that, you know, we were at the hotel and everyone's at the same hotel.

So it was like when these people would get eliminated, like you'd see them in, you know, the breakfast line and stuff. And the craziest was, I remember their families all came. And it was. And I was like, the last. last person who wanted to meet their family's like, hey, remember how they called your daughter a whore? Well, I was that one. Hore is funnier than slut. It was the weirdest.

Like, I did not want those. I never wanted anyone to know who I was because I wanted to be impartial and distant. But it was also like, you know, we would look on social media to see, like, who the favorites were and things like that. But, you know, it was tough at times. I remember there was a black contestant who he left a black woman to couple up with a white woman. And, you know, Twitter was not having that. Oh, no. And we were just like, it was that tough thing.

Like, we had like one or two jokes, but we're just also like, we can't hit this too hard because this guy is going to genuinely be psychologically damaged when he comes out of this. Right? because they have to go through like the, you know, de-reality process, right? Yeah, because like our, you know, our season, it was a different narrator. It was this guy Matthew Hoffman. He was really fun. And he was very flamboyant. And it wasn't the, this was before they replaced him with Ian Sterling.

So we wanted to have our own version of it. And we wanted them to be the catty friend that sits next to you. But it was also important. Yeah, we never wanted to feel like we were bullying. And if we did make fun of someone, we tried to make fun of someone. we tried to make fun of ourselves too. Like, we always have this running joke that our narrator is watching this alone

eating a bowl of ice cream. Ah, I love that. But it's part of what makes the narrator section of it so fun. Once I found out, like, once you had told me a little bit more about the process of it, it was like, God, all of it makes so much more sense, now, it's like, you guys working

all night long, tirelessly, trying to get the, And it's like, it is such a, talk about like the people that get no, no acclaim that work tirelessly, desperately trying to get an episode out that you shoot the day before. Yeah. That's insane. You know, our biggest job was always when they would do challenges because those are VO heavy. That's, you know, they don't have a host or anything.

So he's having to explain all the rules and come up with, you know, Do you have to write those or is that, you have to write the games? Yeah. But no, we don't write the games. I mean, we, but we have to write the copy for what he's going to say about the game. Oh, okay. So we get the footage of the game and then we have to have him explain it. Oh, my God.

Yeah, and try to fit jokes in there. Such a puzzle. Like, but also, I bet, like, kind of a fun puzzle, though? Really? Or do you feel like you're traumatized from it? I don't know. It was fun. I mean, it was, it was like, it was intense.

It made me a better writer. I'll bet. Because there'll be times where it's like, here's three seconds you have to convey these four things. And then you just, you figure it out, you know, and it's fun. And like, once we figured out, like, I think I loved it because we got to create a character. And I was really proud of that character. It was me, one other writer and Matthew, and that was it. Really?

Wow. Our booth was in where we wrote. So we would write a line and he'd record it. Wow. And that was that fast. That is fascinating. Crazy. Absolutely.

It's such a funny juxtaposition to hear you talk about this because like, you know, the pursuit of writing creatively, it's like, you know, it's, it's a beautiful thing. It's an art. It's something many of us have spent our lives trying to do. And then to juxtapose that with like all of these hot, naked people are trying to fuck, you know, but like, but you still need to write about it. It's, we're going to write. Well, you know, I mean, we always say, right, like, how can we be funny in a time like this?

And, you know, which a time like this can be the last six years or whatever. But I remember during the pandemic, when we were getting like curfew warnings and stuff in L.A. because of the riots because of George Floyd and all that stuff that, the horrible stuff that was happening, I was working on a show called 12 dates of Christmas. And be like, that's a missile down. Oh, God.

Like having the right, like the most. I mean, more like no, no, no. Oh, God. How many page seven? I mean, we recorded through all of it. We didn't miss one episode. Yeah.

It was just, you just, you do it. What's happened on right now. And then we just, oh, yeah. And then we tie. You know, it's like, and but then, you know, people will reach out and they'll say like, oh, that thing did help me and all of that. It's like, and you acknowledge it. I mean, when that happened, I was like, I think I had to give some of my salary to this.

Right. Because this feels wrong. Yeah. Oh my God. Just so. But it's also, it's like, but you had to do the job. Yeah. Sometimes you got to do the job and you got to write your mistyato jokes.

Yeah. That was made in 2020. So not a lot of content was being made. No, no, no, no. So you had to take what you could get. They'd already shot it when everything was open still, so you were able to, yeah. You needed those mistletoe jokes to feed your family. Yeah.

Well, oh, my God. The time absolutely flew on this episode. It's already time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jecky, got to have that list. Extremely TMI admissions from famous people that will make you question if they are okay. Now, a lot of these things, you know, we've definitely ripped through, like Kim Kardashian using Chat GPT to help with her law homework, even though it did make her fail. It's upsetting on every, each word more upsetting than the last.

Do you like, Kim Kardashian? No, Chad GPD? No, for your law school homework. No. That's the one part of your life that shouldn't be artificial. Yeah. It's really doing it. This is one part where you have to learn things.

at work and she she won't. She's cheating and she still can't pass the bar. So yes, I don't know how she keeps failing. Can we just give a moment to applaud the bar? Oh yeah. And how high it is. These sticklers, like not since the guy who flunked Hitler from art school has, right? Thank God the bar is here. A governing committee been so steadfast and their belief of what is right and just. Like these are, these are clearly good lawyers because it would do nothing but benefit them and the legal profession to give her this, but they're just like, she does not deserve it. It's the one thing she can't buy. And like that's why I think this whole thing is so fascinating. And it's, I'm not saying she doesn't work whatever. I remember a lot. There's been a lot of like,

does Kim Kardashian? Should we feel admiration for her? And I'm not interested in debating that. If you think that she's an admirable businesswoman, fine. But it is law school is the one thing that you have to just do it, you know. Elle Woods was at the classes. She did it. She did it. She was learning. She was a good lawyer.

Yeah. Well, and also something I can never unthink about is the fact that Megan trainer and her husband have side by side toilets so that they can hang out because they're soulmates. Because they're soulmates, Mike, and they have to have side by side toilets so that they can talk to each other when they're making. Man, all about that base in the back. bathroom.

It's coming out of her, I guess. A lot of blinds about how their marriage is not doing so well. I mean, they just had a third kid. But, you know, the blinds are awful and I have no idea whether or not to take them seriously. But there was a lot of like, now that she's lost all the weight, she wants to trade up. But how are you going to trade up when you got a toilet next to your toilet? You know, who you're going to find a positivity song and stay fat? Please.

You know, no, not in this economy, Mike. Not in this economy. What about when Jamila Jamil said she once had an orgasm in front of 6,000 farmers while DJing a farming event with ginormous vibrating speakers? I got to know what farming event she was DJing at. Like where did somebody say like, I'm putting this farmer thing together? We got to get Jamila Jamil on the horn. You know, it's a weird sentence you just said, but I bet it's charming in her accent. I mean, she's adorable.

The one thing I feel like forever that I will always think about Jamila, Jamil, is that she is a known liar. Everyone's like she just, she lies about stuff. But I kind of love it because she doesn't back down on the lies ever. She really just keeps going with them. Yeah, I think that she's like, she's one of these people that's like, oh, people are laughing. What if I just keep going, like, I don't think she sets out to lie. But it's like, you're heightening. You're heightening.

You're heightening. Yeah, we're going to find out. from like Dorchester. Like even the accent, you know. Very good actress, I guess, this entire time. It's been like a hilarious thing. Like, I just started talking like Dacey. People thought it was funny.

Oh my God. Also, just, man, the amount of jokes we have made about Hilaria and her appropriation, but it's like, where is she now? She's not out speaking about anything right now. Is she no? Oh, she's just hiding? Okay, very interesting.

She is not only not speaking about any immigration issues right now. She is making videos about how somebody, like, told her that she should, like, somebody like slut-shamed her daughter for how she was dressing. And then she made a video about it, but she made it in reply to the comment that was then deleted so that she had to make another video about it. And it's now of its own cycle. Oh, God, good, God.

But also. She made it worse. She made it even worse. Everything is worse. Do we want hilarious speaking up on this? Do we want to me? No. I think what ICE is doing is to speak about it.

I would love to see or try, though. Like, you know somewhere. Someone is like, Hilaria, you can't. You cannot. The calculation is like, as somebody who pretended to be an immigrant for a decade, do you have anything to say about how they're treating immigrants as a non-immigrant? But, you know, what about when Chad Kroger, yes, of Nickelback, revealed that when he was a teenager, he gave himself oral sex after someone bet him a case of beer that he couldn't do it.

See, once again, better in his voice. He says, Lost a bit with all six. I couldn't do well. See? Yes, he put his own. He says, I put my own dick in my mouth. He said I was 14 and much more flexible at the time.

Now you know what the photograph is and look at this photograph. Oh, God, no. Don't make me look at the photograph. Every time it kind of makes me laugh. Because there was a dick in my mouth. Then we watch an episode of Full House. Oh my God. I just, I think that that really, I like that he's continuing the lore about him.

And that's what he's continuing it with. I guess, you know. This is how you remind me of what I really am. Every song is a clue. Oh, my God, it's been about it this whole time he's been trying to tell us. We all want to be big rock stars with our dicks in a bass behind a bar. Last but not least, when a listen. Melissa Milano in an apparently misguided attempt at allyship once tweeted and then deleted,

I'm trans. I'm a person of color. I'm an immigrant. I'm a lesbian. I'm a gay man. I'm the disabled. I'm everything. And that is, can you imagine her smug face as she's writing this tweet?

Smiling to herself proudly. She's going to do it. This is it. What do you think, Mike? That's not what Whitney Houston met when she said, I am every woman. And also, man, and trans to whatever you want me to be. And I'm a person of color. And I'm an immigrant.

That is. Well, look, as someone with a black son, I have ran into many well-intended white people who get it wrong and have been one once or twice. You know, we don't, we don't always know, but we have to listen. Yes. And we have to. I know for how much chatty had been on this episode. We have to shut up sometimes. You know, sometimes being an ally is letting them talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just listening and just being a soundboard for people. Yeah. And you can do that too, Elizabeth Milano. I think I am the disabled is also just a great. I'm the disabled. Well, mentally. It's just so good.

And I love tweeting it, sitting back like, oh, this is going to be good. And then immediately like, uh-oh. I think I've made a huge mistake. I was on who's the boss, but also on who's the employee. Yes, mine. Oh, wait, did you say that was the end of your list, Jackie? That's my list, yes. All right.

Well, that is great news because I appear to be losing my eyesight. I think I'm going blind. items. Ah, we can't see them. All righty, Mike. So I'm going to read you a little clue and you guys are going to guess together. And I, you obviously do have quite a lot of knowledge of pop culture, so I do expect you to hold your own. Let's see where we go this week. All right. After this week, the barely there actress Offspring slash Nepo Baby slash alleged nanny pusher down the stairs won't ever get a role that isn't completely financed. by dad.

Whoa. So pushing a nanny down the stairs. What would you say? We're a little thrown off by I, too, got a little distracted by pushing the nanny down the stairs. We're going to have to spend some more time on that. But did the nanny deserve it? I guess we'll find out. All right.

So this is, this is about a person. We talked about this story. This was the old, this was, she is a character in the biggest pop culture story of the week from last week and kind of into this week. So I'm going to redo the descriptors again. Barely their actress. Nepo Baby, alleged Nanny Pusher.

But she is a, she's, and we're going to say actress in quotes, but she is. But we're not saying Posh Spice, or we are saying Posh Spice. But it's not her who's not going to get the work. It's financed by Daddy.

Oh, so we're talking Brooklyn Beckham? We're talking about the other one with a rich daddy. Oh, the other one with a rich daddy. The one that Brooklyn is married to. Oh, Nicola Peltz. Nicola Peltz is, she's having a bad week because she thinks that she's never going to, you know, be a quote-unquote actress again, quote-unquote again. What did she act?

I don't know. Have you heard about any of this, the whole Brooklyn Beckham, he's having a public fit because mommy and daddy won't give him his name and they don't like his wife and mommy inappropriately danced on him at the wedding? and Mark Anthony Galder, the most beautiful woman in the room at Nicola Peltz's wedding. Mike, are you so upset? There's one thing that I didn't know a lot of, you guys sent me a lot of news stories, and I read about this. And I am so thankful you told me about this because this week of all weeks, this story made me proud to be an American. Yes, exactly. Because I don't have to care about this.

Exactly. It's the best story for these times. Yeah. The only way, because I'm not proud of almost, of anything else. Except the fact that the Beckham's don't live here. Anything with the, the,

the royal family, anything with the Beckham's, anything with football that mostly involves feet. Like, I, nope, no, America. Yeah. It's the most patriotic I get.

Yes. Yeah, although, and apparently the Peltz family is a little bit on the, I mean, they're obviously all very wealthy, but Peltz is, is also like Trumpy, I think is part of it. The Peltz family, like, had a Trump fundraiser, which is kind of, and I think the Beckham's are not Trumpy. And so I think that's also part of it. But in all of the shit that

is getting stirred up, yeah, there's an, there's, there's, there's this, uh, the headline of this international business times article is Nicola Peltz's history of cruelty resurfaces amid Beckham family feud from nanny incident to mysterious dog death. So Nicola Peltz is having a rough, a rough one. Yeah. And I mean, I mean, obviously, a rough. More like, I was going to make a more offensive joke. More like, more like Nicola Reiner. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I was expecting that. Oh, God. But, you know, Victoria Beckham is not coming out looking too good in the story. What is she doing to the dogs? Well, now I got a lot. I feel like I got to. Yeah, okay. So one of the more widely reported incidents involving Nicola Peltz, Beckham relates to the death of her Chihuahua.

Nala, I'm sorry, everyone's very fragile right now and nobody needs to hear about this. but they filed a civil lawsuit. Brooklyn and Peltz filed a civil lawsuit against a dog groomer saying that the groomer killed the dog. And the groomer denied any wrongdoing. And there's been no court ruling. But so now people are like, maybe you people killed the dog is what it looks like. Whoa. But then she started a dog charity.

And whoa, did she start the dog charity to cover up for whatever she's doing? And then- And then Victoria Beckham wouldn't donate to the doggies during the wildfire, remember? Oh my God, it's all about the dogs, about the dogs. Go to shit next to my husband. Yeah, yeah. And there's a, there's a faux moire post saying that Nicola Peltz was so abusive to her childhood nannies that some were rumored to have become suicidal while working for her. Oh my God.

This is all completely unsubstantiated. Cannot emphasize that enough. but it's like how evil do you have to be? Wow, there's a lot of, wow. Like to be the evil one in the story about a mom who completely ruined her son's wedding by dancing on him too sexually. And Victoria is still the more sympathetic one than Nicola, you know, like. I don't know, I'm only rooting for the dog.

Yeah, I think we got to root for the dog. I'm definitely pro dog. Let's just, you know, let's let's. It's that moment when you like see two parents fight and you just feel for the kid. And there's like there's no going back from that. Like that's just who you are from then on. Yeah. And it's a, it's a wonderful place to be, but it's also a rough place to be because you feel more.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So blind number two. The crazy thing is that this offspring of A-listers used to go to school, but it was taking, I talk about sad parent perspective, Mike. This offspring of A-lister used to go to school, but it was taking.

too much time away from her getting famous, which is why mom pulled her out of school. Hilaria and Alec? That is a great guess, but no, worse. I'm going to say Blue Ivy. You're close. You're close. Northwest?

Yeah. Yeah. Worst family than Blue Ivy. Yeah. All that. Yeah. Kim just confirmed that Northwest does not attend school. She should probably be getting educated.

You know, she can learn about World War II from her father. Well, didn't you say he wrote, he apologized, guys. In the Wall Street Journal for some reason. Guys, he apologized. I know. I was wondering if we would even touch that. No, we're not. No, we're not touching it.

Not with a 10-foot Polish person who's also Jewish. All right, let's see. Which one for my final one is more fun? Okay, this one is pretty fun. There was a lot of spice this week, but this is an interesting one. So apparently the north of the border actor is such a cuck. He doesn't have any problems with his wife reaching out to the actor-director she hooked up with while he was married, which I think means while they were married. So we've got three people in this blind.

One is the north of the border cuck. One is the wife who's also a famous actor. And then the third is the famous actor-director who she has. allegedly hooked up with whilst with whilst the first two were married and they're still married they're still married they are married they're a famous married couple but she cuckin but she be cuckin she be cuckin he be getting this isn't reynolds and lively hey mike how did you know wow the north of the border yeah now who is she cuckin ryan reynolds with who's the actor director That she...

Ew, not... I mean, not Maldoni, obviously. Not Baldoni. Not definitely not Beldoni. Can I just say, like, it's so funny that there's so much controversy about a movie that wasn't good. God. I know. And I didn't even, I couldn't watch it.

And they are still talking about it. It's the first thing... Oh, yeah. It is... I just can't. I can't. I couldn't possibly. I can't care.

It's always funny. Like, there are these new stories, like, when you're in the award show, writing room where you just don't even want to acknowledge because you don't want to add space to it and that's one of them. This is one of those for us too. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even want to add.

I don't like same with Kanye. Same with all. It's just I don't. But you guys who is she fucking? We have the answer. I mean, the blind has the answer. So who do you guys think? Who's the actor director?

Any actor director? She, who is Blake? Who did Blake, lively, cuck Ryan Reynolds? With whom did she cook? Well, I'm saying, was it someone she worked with? Is this, like, because you're just. say an actor-director.

I think that they were, I think that they were, they worked on something. It actually, this actually came up, I'm going to give you a big hint right now, Jackie, which is that they, this, this duo was- Everyone was in the traveling pants, but Brian. He was the pants. I, they were, okay,

she, these two people were recently named dropped by somebody who was like, I'm not going to name drop, but I was with, Blank and Blank. Blake and Ben Affleck. Yes.

Ben Affleck? He would never, he would never stoop that long. I know. He would never stoop that low. But I, there is. I'm a Ben Affleck lover. I really, I know, I just, I think he's a sad boy and I want, I want to make him less sad.

You know, I want to bring him donkeys. I want to bring him cigarettes and I want to make him less sad. There's a whole USA Today story from. This, from this month about Blake Lively's texts with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon about it ends with us. So maybe she cuckin with Ben Affleck, which would be really sad. Although it would. Oh, yeah. Wait, so she's.

Cuckin at Duncan. Yeah. He's talking. She's cuckin. I guess, wait, she's not. If she's cuckin, that means Ryan Reynolds and, uh, and he are having sex, which I don't know. would watch. Definitely would definitely have watch it. Yeah. You can watch it. Think of the amazing orgasms you could hear from your wife for just $15 a month on Mint Mobile. That's what they're

selling over there. I knew they couldn't be keeping it alive with his phones. You just drink some aviation gin and watch your wife. Fuck Ben Affle. And he's crying the entire time. Like crying, Ryan. There's a Phoenix back tattoo and he's got to look at that. at the entire time. She's giving Ben Head Pull. Oh, yeah. But there's another story from the Daily News, also from last week, about how Blake lively emailed him during the Baldoni drama, and he allegedly never responded. And allegedly, this doesn't make sense because it's an email, but allegedly it reads, Ben, it's Blake, don't hang up. And then she goes on to shower Affleck with praise before revealing she has a zero-price. pressure request, which is about being on her side for the HR battle for it ends with us.

So this is really an onion with a lot of layers. I'm going to have to spend more time on this. Oh, yeah. Some layers having sex with each other and some layers just watching it. If any of you guys have intel, any listeners out there know more about the, because I do, I roll my eyes and move away when I see the, the lively and Baldoni headlines. But if you've been following this and you have any intel on the Ben Hapleck-Blake communique news that broke last week, please do comment and let us know.

Ben, it's Blake. Don't hang up. I also would not respond to that email. No, fuck you. No, I'm not responding to that email. No. Yeah. Out of here.

Get out of my email. And I can't tell if that's evidence that they did fuck or if they didn't fuck, you know, because it could be evidence for either way. Oh, yeah, that it's like a. cheeky, that's their cheekiness together, you think? I mean just him not responding. Like, you don't, maybe you don't respond because you're like, I already had sex with you and cucked your husband.

How dare you say that about Ben Halflack? No, I know he's a good man. He would never cock and run. All right. He's going to stay. He'll be there for her. All right, well, then this, that means that they didn't cuck. That's proof.

Thank you. Thank you. All right. That's my blinds. I can see again. Welcome back. Welcome back. I sat quietly for a lot of this and watched you have.

fun. So I felt like I was the cuck during the second. Thank you for cuck-y. But I was enjoying it. I was really enjoying it. Appreciate it, Mike. If you guys could just do it again, but longer next time. It actually is more fun with the cuck.

I never understood. I like I to get it. I sit back and relax. Although if someone's just like lightly laughing while I'm doing it, I don't know if I can handle that. I don't know if I can, I don't know if my ego can handle it. Remember the first time someone called me a cock, you know, because I've done other podcasts.

I was just like, well, that means I still have a wife. You know, look at you, always looking at the bright side, Mike. I love it, but are you looking at the snack side? That's right. It's time for Jackie's Snackies. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl.

Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie, snackie, snackie. Is somebody gonna eat those chips? Is somebody gonna dip those dips? Is somebody gonna try those candies? I got seminar.

They say I'm a snack lead. So, Mike, I usually hear on Jackie Snackies. I like to go out and find limited edition snacks to try out and see if they're any good. Now, this one in particular, I was very excited about. Did you use Mr. Bubble when you were a kid? Did you ever, were you a bath kit? Like Mr. Bubble, like the, the, the Mr. Bubble.

Oh, yeah, yeah. My kid loves bubble baths. Oh, hell yeah. So Mr. Bubble is still going loud and proud out there. And for some reason, I saw one of my snack fluencer people were like, and isn't it crazy? Because back in the day, all of us wanted to be drinking Mr. Bubble. Wouldn't it be so crazy if Mr. Bubble put out its own craft soda?

And it is crazy Mr. Bubble bubble bubble gum flavor craft soda that they're making in case you always wanted to drink Mr. Bubble, but never gave yourself the opportunity to. And you could only buy them in packs of 24. So I really hope you like it, Mike, because if you do, I'll bring back 22 more of them. And you can have all of it if you want. So let's find out if it tastes like a bubble bath. Give it to your son and really confuse him about what's okay to drink and what's not okay to drink. Oh my God. You know, I am not an OG bubble gum kind of bitch.

But this really does genuinely taste like the exact stick of gum that you used to get with baseball cards. Like remember a bit like kind of tastes like paper. kind of tastes old, tastes very, very stale. It's got like a LaCroy Pompelamous taste to it a little bit. And I wonder if it's because there's no high-fructose corn syrup in it because I feel like it lacks the consistency of a regular soda.

It's weird. It is more of a bubble gum sparkling water with sugar in it than it feels like a soda per se. But like I guess that makes it, easier to drink? Like would you, if you, are you a bubble? Are you a bubble gum?

A tough artificial flavor, especially as an adult. It's funny, like a lot of kids' medicines are bubble gum. Yes, and my kids like it. Like, they don't chew gum, but they like the bubble gum, like medicine flavor, but.

See, and I was always the artificial grape bitch. Same. If it's artificial grape, I will still eat it. Like, I wish they made adult medicine all taste like artificial grape. Agree. Because I'd be chomping them down.

Well, I guess, you know, this didn't have the zang that I was hoping for. It really, for them to be like, I guess my question, to you, Mr. Bubble, is why now, why are you doing this? And also, why only sell it in cases of 24? Those are my three questions for you to make a profit, I guess. But if you do go on Mr. Bubble, they also sell, my husband loves baths. So I got him, they have a bunch of like things to play with in the bat, like stoop, like ways to make it sparkle and ways. And I bought him a bunch of stuff. And he's just like, thank.

But I don't take bad. So I don't know. I don't know. I was like, don't you get bored? Don't you want to do something in there? Yeah, no, they got a lot. This is, this is, you know, what I think that the giant like tub of Mr. Bubble that we all grew up with did get a bad rat because a lot of doctors to tell you that that Mr. Bubble will give you a UTI if you. use it too often.

Really? It's no good. Yeah. So I think that Mr. Bubble had to kind of pivot and be like, what if we offer more than just UTIs for children?

So wait, was the original, so this says, okay, I'm looking at the, the, um, advertising for it. It says,

Mr. Bubble, Bubble Gum, limited edition grab soda, has the essence of the OG bubble bath scent. So was original Mr. Bubble bubble gum scented?

Because I, as someone that like, I'm sure I had baths when I was little, but like, I don't remember them and I never cared that much. Was it bubblegum scented? I don't know. You know how scent, like, smell is a very, like,

evocative way to provoke memory. I feel like I remember the look of the bottle, but I don't remember the smell. But I feel like if I could smell it, maybe I would get some memories back, but I don't want it back. Well, there was a part of me that was like, I was just thinking, like, you know,

I don't want to make fun of the people that made this because they probably look like me. And also, like, you know, they're probably, you know, going through it running a crap soda business. And I looked distributed by the Village Company, Eden Prairie Minnesota. So,

they get a pass from me. All right. They are getting a pass from us. Also, it is the signature scent. The original Mr. Bubble Bubble Bath is known for its distinct, sweet bubble gum aroma. There you go. Maybe that's why I didn't like baths. Was it because

I didn't like the smell of bubble gum? Reek like bubble gum. It makes sense that it smelled like bubble gum. But I also I don't remember that. Wow, that's really, that's one of those. That's kind of breaking my brain a little bit. Yeah, I mean, and they used to be the only game in town. Now there's all sort, now everyone's trying to compete with who's going to not give

your kid a UTI as the bubble back, you know, but it used to be only Mr. bubble. It's the only option. But I'm about to go spend a bunch of money on their shit because, you know, there's potions. I know. There's a bunch of different cool shit. Yeah, it's good.

They know their audience. But don't, I think I would say. Maybe don't pick up the bubble soda unless you're like that's, if you're thinking light bubble gum, not syrupy soda is your jams, you jump on it. Yeah. Soda for people who haven't been happy since they had a bath as a kid. Yeah. Mr. Bubble, because your soul will never be clean. You got a lot of nostalgia to work through, buddy.

22 cans of it. We're bringing it into the studio. Made with 100% sentimental value. Oh, God, damn it. Burtabita Berta, Mr. Bob McA, Margargum. Scars guard! Get out of my soda.

His name is Gustav Borg in the movie. Gustav Borg in the movie. An M.J. All right. So this week, big news for M.J.'s Minute Munchies. Thanks to listener Kinnison, we have a new M.J.'s Minute Munchies theme song, which I just sent to you, Adam. You don't need to play it for our brand,

new ears now, but audience, you get to listen to the MJ's Minutemunchy themes. I can't wait to hear it. Now, this week for MJ's Minute Munchies, I have an annoying snack that is a healthy snack that's trying to taste like chips. This is a genre we've discussed. I love chips. Sometimes there's something that's not a chip. It's trying to be a chip. Big thing that's always trying to be chips is almonds.

They're trying to make almonds taste like chips by putting the chip powder on the almonds. It's like the cauliflower making it bread. You know what I mean? I feel he's like, if they just mash it, if they mash it, it's kind of like it's a bread. So this is basically what Megan Traynor poops out now when she sits next to her husband. Yes, if you wish you were... Certainly not a top 10 hit. Yeah, yeah.

So for those of you who wish you were eating tachies but have to be an almond mom, introducing chili and lime almonds, which are, you know, chili and lime is obviously the tachy flavor. It's also popular hot Cheetos introduced some chili into their hot Cheetos to try to to be like talkies. Everybody wants to be like talkies because kids love talkies. And so I'm about to try these almonds that are supposed to taste like talkies. Oh my God. Will it give you the craving that you have? Does it satiate you? Do you feel like a better person? Talk about nostalgia. Eating an almond that's supposed to taste like a chip does bring me back to the time that I would do that

more often and deny myself the pleasure of just eating chips. When you would lie to yourself for a really a long time? Oh yeah. There was a lot of time in my life where I was like, um, almonds. And then I gave up that charade and, um, I haven't looked back. But this is fine. I will, it's, it tastes like an almond, but it tastes like it has spicy, chili lime powder on it. And that's, that's fine. It's pretty good. You know, sometimes I think you just have to see them as a separate entity. Yeah. Because I feel like it's like, I really like the dill, you know, the spicy dill almonds. Those are really good. But they hate the chip. Like, you can't say they're the chips.

Don't be like, oh, have almonds instead of chips. Stop lying to me. I think it's just I want something that I can eat more of. And if it's almonds, I guess put the fucking dust on almonds. Yes, exactly. Something I can eat more of. Yes, exactly. When food tries to pretend to be other food, just be yourself.

Just be yourself. Like yourself, almonds. You taste delicious too. Yeah, almonds are fine. Yeah, you're not a potato chip. you slice of apple. Yeah. But you're a slice of apple and somebody like that.

That's okay. Yes, an apple is good and almonds are good. And yes, I support you eating almonds. I just don't, you know, there's like the reason the phrase almond mom came up is because people just try to pretend that's all you need and it's not. But I do think that the chili lime almonds are good. And I like the salt and vinegar ones too. Like, again, the chippier and saltier and least healthy the almond, the better it tastes

to me. I will finish this one. It's good. I get it. I mean, I'm the one that included the I can't believe it's not butter article, but don't worry. We didn't get to it, but we will get to it on Second Helpings. Thank you, everybody, for joining us. And Mike Lawrence, where can we find you?

This was an absolute delight. Thank you so much for coming and hanging out with us. And sorry that we just pummeled you with questions. Oh, that was great. That was fun. It was really wonderful. Where can we get at you? Where am I going to yell my safety takes?

I know. Oh, God. I, man, we might have to have you back because I, I, I, we do keep it positive here, but that. Yeah. Sorry, we'll talk about in second helpings. Saturday story is bad news. Starting to talk about more about why the Safty brothers aren't working together. Yeah.

It's bad safety. Bad safety. But, Mike, when, we got you on nerd of mouth? Yeah, I'm on nerd of mouth every week. We come out on Mondays with Holden and Jake, who I know both been on the show a bunch. And I just did an episode of The Brighter Side Exposed with... Oh, my God. That was fun.

They are fun. They are fun. And they were... For those of you that are unaware, for Brighter Side, they've been doing a series called Exposed, where they take each one of us and get, like, ask the people around us things about us. And then ask us questions that we don't know what the questions are. Eddie did one. I was genuinely kind of scared to do it with Eddie and Amber, but I didn't need to be scared because they are wonderful people. And if I didn't want to talk about something, I didn't have to. Well, it's, you know, like me and Jake had a podcast in 2010. But, you know, then I left at 2016 and the whole network and everything blew up. So like, I am the new guy. Which is funny because you're also one of the OG guys. But yeah. But it's hard.

And it is the thing of like, oh, I get to learn about him. And I'm like, cool. Yeah. You know, yeah. Hell, yes. So definitely check that out because Brighter's like really killing it with their exposed series. Yes. And we love Holden and Jake.

We love nerd of mouth. I'm really excited for you guys. And, you know, I listen to your Miss Rachel episode. And I absolutely loved it. Nice. I, you know, I push for that. And I'm so glad the guys let me do it. And it really did connect with people.

But because the ultimate argument It was so funny was, is this nerdy enough? Right. Like, how is this not nerdy? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A deep time on Miss Rachel.

Of course, it's nerdy. That's nerdy. And, you know, the more comedians that are pro-Miss Rachel right now, the better. 100%. I'll leave it at that. Yeah. You are a damn right.

And thank you so much, Mike. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with us over on the page 7. Patreon. We are ripping into book four of the Sookie Stackhouse novels over on Jackie's book club.

Get on it because, uh-oh, y'all, witches are entering the chat. And also, MJ and I are just having a time with Buffy and watch as we just lose. Do you ever get into Buffy? Not your kind of nerd, eh? I was that person who, I remember them announcing it in TV Guide. And I was like, that movie is getting the show? I know it's a phenomenal hit. God, it's so good, dude.

I know I need to watch it, and I know that I could rest on John Sweden's questionable morality as a way to never have to watch it. I know, but honestly, throwing out the head is good. I know because it really is that good. But, MJ, you can, yes,

thank you for all of you guys for being part of our Patreon. Jackie shouted that out. You can also email us at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. Thank you, Kenneson, for the MJ's Minute Munchy song.

And Mike, thank you. you so much for coming on the show. This was so much fun. Please come back soon. Yeah, you guys got it. Thanks. Hell yeah. All right, everybody. We'll see you for second helpings tomorrow. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.