Page 7 - Dark Sided - In my Opinion

Episode Date: October 17, 2026

Jackie and Kara are BACK and the Kelly Clarkson bird saga is showin' everyone's true colors, Mia Goth filed for divorce from Shia LaBeouf 2 days after FKA Twigs NDA expired, Selma Blair is headin' to a body cam footage feed near you! Six Flags shut down their CTE creator after a recent death from a patron falling out. And HOMEWORK CHECK! It's time to talk about The Swan documentary. John and Kate's kids are finally old enough they're writing tell-alls. Wicker is GETTTIN' CLOSER! And so so so much mooooore!!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everybody, it's Jackie and Kara from Who's the Bitch. And we're here to tell you about the Halloween bitchathon Thursday, October 22nd. You know we're coming at you live, taking calls, listening to your bituations, and giving you advice as best we can. From 4 p.m. Pacific to 7 p.m. Pacific. That's 7 to 10 for the East Coasters. So grab your buzz balls and come on down and join us live, YouTube.com slash at Who's the Bee. We'll see you on Thursday. of seven. We did it, everybody.

We did it. It only took almost three weeks. Welcome to page seven. Darksided everybody. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. And I'm Kara Kling. And I think five. This is our fifth episode, right?

No, is it really? Five weeks? Four or five, something like that. Honestly, it's good. It keeps you humble, Kara, because why know what you're doing out the gate? That makes life too easy. Let's make it up as we go.

Okay, wait. So you know what I've been dying to talk to you about? Tell me. Last week, we talked about how. Kelly Clarkson loves AI, which drove me crazy. And it drives us all crazy because up top here at page 7 darksided, we're definitely, we're talking a little bit of bird today. We're definitely going to be talking, oh man, we're probably going to be bringing up some

Kate Gosselin, I imagine. Selma Blair. What's she doing on an airplane? Probably going to be talking about Selma Blair. Maybe we'll bring up a chat, Hanks. Who knows if we'll get there. But yeah, I love this because over on page 7, MJ and I were talking about Kelly Clark and y'all know about the bird drama by now.

So you guys know the bird stuff. I'm not here to repeat the bird stuff. I'm just wondering. Please. Conspiracy theory. Oh. Did this whole bird drama start so she could get the heat off of her for being an AI lover? Like did she start?

Because like the shop is like, that's not really what happened. And she's like, sure, of course it isn't. And like had this sassy back and forth with this little shop. And this is just the kind of like innocuous little like thing that, totally pulls any like Googling of Kelly Clarkson, now is going to have the bird story because it's a just cuckoo. No pun intended. It's just cuckoo enough to be about, you know, to be true.

And like, and everyone gets to go, what the? But it's like, then it just gets the heat off of the fact that she literally said, I love AI and I'm fascinated by it and we should all be using it, letting it destroy us. And here's why I support this theory, because I feel, like Kelly Clarkson immediately came out the gate being like, I'm a victim. I'm a victim. I've been victimized. And I feel like you're so right to try to combat the way she was sounding with all of this AI garbage conversation. I think that these big pop stars also don't realize

like how big a podcast can be. And I don't think so honey's a big podcast. And she probably was like, yeah, I'm just going to say I love AI. I'm just talking to these two comedians. And this is funny. And what do they have? A hundred listeners? I mean, like, I don't think she realizes how popular they are and how that went like viral. And you think this is a PR team coming into like cleaned it up, cleaned up? Because she is supposed to be like America sweetheart. She is like a girl that everybody loves. And for you to be like, I don't really care about the damage that these AI centers are doing to communities

or what it's doing to children's like learning or what it's doing to our society in terms of the fact that it's a misinformation machine. But then she sends like her Clarksonites out to go against this small business. this, no matter what, I do feel like $50,000 bird for sale or no $50,000 maybe bird for sale. Was it 15? 15, 15. But either way, it was more money than I would ever spend on it. It wasn't for sale, Kara. It was not for sale. Even when she showed the receipt. It was not. It was a fake screenshot from many years before. No, no, no, there was no. No, Kara. Oh my gosh. There's not. No picture of a price tag. You can tell I haven't read about this story in the last two hours because I didn't get that detail.

It is, the way. The screenshot was the last thing I saw. I go, wow, this is an interesting back and forth. And the business is like going, let's talk. Let's work this out. Oh, no, no, no, no. It gets deeper. And that's why I actually.

Who comes up with it? She probably had AI make it. Her best buddy AI. Apparently it was a screenshot from something that had been posted like years ago that someone had posted online. that was found. But no matter what, it was not a picture

that she took. And she just keeps notching it up. And then just like, okay, small. Every time the small business is like, we told you it wasn't for sale.

He said we could get. And then I just feel like there's so many headlines that are just like, just give her the bird. Why? She doesn't deserve it. No,

you don't get the bird, Kelly Clarkson. It's also hilarious because it's like in pretty woman, she is a sex worker. who was just trying to buy a dress for an event. But this is just little Kelly Clorxen.

And she's topped down to by these like snotty salespeople. And it's almost like Kelly Clarkson was like, do they not know who I am? Like it's almost like, but it's like in this, in this narrative, you are playing the role of the snotty person. Yeah, you're being a little bit of a Reese Witherspoon right now. Yeah. Do you know who I am? But instead you didn't do that in person. You did it on X.

Okay, Kelly. All right, girl. This was all unfolding on X? Yeah, that's why I think that you might be right where somebody, maybe she's working with like an old school PR where they're like, somebody's like, we gotta get it out there. Very close together for there to be two stories about somebody. You're right. For this to not be, in my opinion.

You're so. I'm not, I'm no Olivia Pope, but I just think that's. You're so correct. It's sketchy because honestly, I know we didn't even know. you were going to bring this up because we genuinely don't know much about this story yet. But speaking of that, I did just want to at least pepper it in here

all the stuff with Mia Goth and FK.A. Twigs and Shia and it is just it is, it's we don't know anything yet, but I am fascinated. Shia Leboeuf is like if that feeling of like, like, was

a person. Yeah. Like that whole like, like something that's something I don't like about you. Like he seems like the kind of guy that would like pass you on the street and like go like that just to like scare you or something. Just to see it just for him to be like ha ha you know where you're like wow oh good for you oh my gosh big bad man and it seems like there's a lot of oh wow big bad man about the things that he says all the horrific stuff that he says about and towards women that he supposedly is in love with and we've heard a lot or except we haven't heard a lot from fkA twigs or over the years and we know that she had been in a relationship with him in the past. However, and on something else, we also know, Mia Gauth was married to him. They had a child together. They, like, silently separated in, what, 2018?

Yes, but then got back together in 2020 and had a baby in 22. And then in 2025, silently separated again or quietly. But Mia Gauth filed for divorce from Shiaa two days after FKA Twigs had her unlawful NDA terminated. And I have to assume that whatever Mia Gauth, I'm hoping, is going to go through, I'm not hoping, whatever she might mine from this piece of trash. But what the thing is,

I'm assuming she's going to have to use FCA Twigs and now she'll be able to hopefully they can work together to take him down. Yeah, I mean, also, also, the industry could just like stop hiring. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. I know we can stop giving him a platform. But like she, FCA Twigs tried to sue Shailabov in 2020. She filed a lawsuit saying that their relationship was abusive and that he intentionally

gave her an STI. This is all what's alleged in the lawsuit. Also, I'd like to point out that so it's not like this is, it's not like she's had to keep about, you, NDAs do not prevent you from talking about things that are illegal. If something illegal happens, you can go against, you can go outside of an But I imagine that's the kind of thing that if you have no proof that they could all of like, oh, but then so I imagine that there's also a level of that too. But you can't be like, I signed an NDA. So even though I saw my boss murder a maid or something like that, like I can't do anything.

Like that's not how it worked. Like you can. NDAs don't cover that. But which I learned, you know, through my other podcast and through lawyers telling me that, I didn't like just know that. But it is very interesting the timing. What are these two ladies plotting? I just, whatever it is, I hope we get like a book club-esque movie out of it. I want this to be, yeah.

Like, take it down. Like a John Tucker must die with Shia Labeau. And I don't, and we genuinely have no idea, and I don't know if any of us are going to know for a while, but I really hope that that means something. Right. We can always hope. We have to hope, guys, that they're working together. Um, okay. Now, we have to touch.

on what's happening with Selma Blair every time she gets into the sky. Like, I have a thing where when I fly, I will cry over anything. Like, any movie will make me cry. Like, the first, I mean, granted, I think this is emotional for a lot of people.

The first, like, three minutes of up, I mean, I was in shambles. Oh, my God. Yeah, you know, I mean. Like, or, or, but one time, I just saw a still ad of a make a wish ad, and I cried on an airplane. because like there's something apparently about the vulnerability of you're in the air and you could die and the pressure and the air and the so what is it in me that brings out tears but in Selma Blair because this is her second this is her second offense like a few years ago she was on a plane acting visibly intoxicated with her four-year-old son and it was reported on but then it was like oopsies I'm I mixed medications and I didn't know how they were going to react. Okay, okay, I'll let that.

You know, we can let that go. They really take it out of the Real Housewives book of how to get away with things by just being like, I'm pills. I've just been taking pills. I've been popping them and I didn't know the blues and the greens couldn't go together. And all of a sudden my face started sliding off into my neck, but it's fine. The pills, you know? But literally, she was reported.

She bit a flight attendant. I think she punched another one. She bashed her own head. And then she kicked, was accused of kicking a police officer once they brought her. By the way, I have been getting targeted in my Instagram with these videos that are very long. They're like sometimes 20, 25 minutes long that are just belligerent people dealing with authority. Like it's like the police coming to get somebody who shoplifted and they won't leave the store. It's like, it's like a belligerent passenger on.

an airplane, like this woman who was drunk and she gets off and she goes, I don't know what everybody is talking about. Like, I just was like sitting. I got up to go to the bathroom like one time. And I've been getting these and they're these long videos, they're mesmerizing to me. I don't know why I like can't look away. It lingers. That's why you keep getting them care off?

I'm like, well, this can't go on that much longer. And then I'm like, I'm watching it at double speed and I'm like, what's happening? And then you become Selma Blair. Maybe this is what she's been doing. It's like a guy that'll just be like, I don't have to get, like, we'll get pulled over and it'll be like, I don't have to give the cops. I don't have to give you my license. And they're like, you do. You have to present us with your license. He's like,

no, I don't. That's my document. I don't have to give it to you. I can show it to you. I don't have to give it to you. Like, there's all of these videos. There's like a whole slew of them on the, wait until they come to you. They're coming to you. I mean, you just said it in front of my phone. So you just, you're haunting me with them. I don't know what they're, like, Karen videos, because it's always like women, like, they're always responsible. And in one, I've seen a couple of them where they're on flights and they're like, this is crazy. This is insane. What they do, they love to say, this is insane.

This is insane. Like, I didn't do anything. Like, I cannot wait to talk to my lawyer. This is insane. And then the woman, like, literally, they show her from airplane to cop car to the station. This is insane. Draged.

And it's all body cam footage. It's all body cam footage. I was about to ask, are these videos body cams? Yes, it's all body cam. You, I feel like between you and Natalie and my brother, y'all are going to put this body cam footage into my algo and I don't want it.

Sorry. All y'all, you're always telling me. I didn't ask for it. It just popped up and I was like, huh. And now, of course, I've watched a bunch of them so they're like, this bitch loves this stuff. But it's just so funny how often. Like, I'll go over to Henry Natalie's house

in the middle of an afternoon on like a Sunday and they're both in different rooms and I hear the body cam footage. And I'm like, are you watching different body cam cams video? The company comes together stays together. I am so happy for them. I just.

I love that they have. that they have such likewise interests, but that they can't watch together. They're like, I'm just sort of more into, like, men throwing shit at cops, and I'm sort of more into, like, ladies being wasted on airplanes. I think it's more that, like, Natalie is, like, enrage. And, like, it's watching the ones.

And Henry thinks it's just hilarious. And Henry watches the ones that he thinks is funny. And so I think that that, it really is the spectrum of what body cam footage you desire. It reminded me of this, and I wonder if we'll ever see the light of Selma Blair body cam footage. Because it's very... It's very Luanda Ceps on New Year's Eve getting arrested. What footage? What footage? You know? No footage. I just like don't know what's going. Because you would think once you've been in trouble one time on an airplane, you'd be like, I'm going to keep it pretty chill on the airplane. I'm not going to have anything to drink. I'm just going to like be cool.

Like until it's like been maybe like five years. Like I forget when the first incident, what, 2016. Okay. So I'm sorry. It's been 10 years. since she was removed from her flight from Cancun to L.A. For being disruptive. That's not enough time to forget that, Kara. So she had a decade and she was like, it's time. We got to do a 10th anniversary. It's like Mariah coming out like after for Christmas. It's time.

And so a player just walks onto the plane and then punches a fucking flight attendant in the face. The poor flight attendants. That's the case in every situation. I know. These people are working in trap boxes. with the worst people in the world, everybody's on their worst behavior. Everyone thinks they're owed something on an airplane because tickets are expensive, but we're all paying a lot. Yeah, there's children crying, there's adults crying.

I just can't wait to find out why she thought it was okay to do this. And I'm just assuming it's like, there were so much, thank God, there's, I mean, there's plenty of audio footage on Roundtable of Gentlemen that you can check out. but I'm just so glad that the videos were not as prevalent when we were way more blackout drunk. Yeah. I'm just, I haven't been arrested, but I, yeah, I'm really glad video for the in general. Like in college, we weren't really taking videos. Yeah. I'm really happy about that.

No, no. But wait, we need to take a break, right? But when we come back, I'd love to hear about how maybe you almost got arrested recently. Oh, I'd love to tell you after this break. I'm glad that you're bringing this up, Kara. I'm glad that you're bringing it up. Because I got, I got it in, I almost got in trouble yesterday. And now, I brought up this story to Kara earlier because Kara brought up the fact that

another person died on a roller coaster. Except, except this person died on this roller coaster. The other coaster I was thinking of, the other Six Flags coaster is finally, I think it's called X. I've written it before at Six Flags at Magic Mountain that provides, Like, it's given so much brain trauma to people that they finally have to shut it down. So that six flags is dealing with that. And now there's this six flags over on the East Coast.

Of course, you're making me want to go on the one that gives you brain trauma. Of course, because that means it's a great ride. That's the problem. So this happened at Six Flags over Georgia. Yes. And so a person died on the roller coaster. I think that they fell out. There are not a lot of details that have been released just yet.

I think it's called like Goliath or something? Goliath, yes, yes. It's Goliath. And there's, it is, it makes me more excited about six flags and it makes me like six flags more. That's fucked up. Hot take. Hot take. It's so fucked up. It's so, like, because I'm saying I'm a coaster freak. Freak. I love coasters. I love coasters. But I'm always like, well, we can't die because they've tested these over and over again. unless you're like a person that goes on one with a medical condition or like you try to fuck with your thing or whatever like how did this happen all six flags is saying is like our hearts are with the family's like i don't care about where your hearts are six flags i care about where your technicians are like what's happening and how we're shutting down that ride and this guy's kid was next to him when this happened it is ay ay yi yi very scary and the problem is that six flags though just great bang for your buck and it's just it's hard dude it goes 200 feet and it speeds up to 70 miles per hour I really obviously want to go on it but like that is really scary I'm sure like you I want I need to

hear something that this person did to like mess with the roller coaster or I'm going to have some serious um trust issues that just children run the rides and no one's really checking anything I feel like they're all running my god this is first of all first of all of all, Six Flags are like the oldest people. Six Flags have like the oldest people. If you go to like Natsbury Farm they're honestly like 14 years old. They're middle schoolers. And they're like asleep.

They have like just taken a bong rip and they're like, already is your seatbelt on. Which is so funny though because Nottsbury also has crazy coasters. Like Natsbury but I always call it Not Scary because that's my favorite time of year. But it has amazing coasters at it.

Kara was bringing up this story earlier and I was like this reminds me because I am a Six Flags person. So you're a coaster person. Yeah, so I'll go anywhere for a coaster. I grew up near Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. God, it's such a good one. But I grew up going to even Hershey Park and Sesame Place and like places were up on.

Sesame Place. Like my whole family wouldn't go on roller coasters with me. I was like, okay, bye, I'm going on my own. Like I was tall enough to go and I just went on everything by myself. And we went to Dollywood and my husband turned gray after a couple of roller coasters. He turns gray because I make him go on like back. to back coasters. Oh, I thought you meant like

it turned his hair. No, no, no. His face. His skin. His flash turned gray. And then I would go with his brother. Like, I'll go on Dollywood. And then we actually got kicked out of

Hollywood, not kicked out, but a thunderstorm happened. And thunder kept happening. And they were like, that pushes. It keeps pushing it. pushing it. But I'm still like due for a date to go back. I mean, I'll go on any roller.

Like, there's nothing I'm scared of roller coaster. I love this. Unless I'm going to die. Unless you're going to die. And it is, there's always that. In fact, honestly, even us talking. about the body cam footage earlier.

I remember how, like, before we had the YouTube's, I remember that I would always hunt for the actual shows that would put together like, watch this roller coaster come off its track. Like, I would be obsessed with watching coasters go wrong any footage that they had of it because that, I mean, it's also why I love to play roller coaster tycoon so I could make the crazy roller coasters and then I would kill everybody on the ride.

But it's not supposed to happen in real. It's not supposed to happen in real life. And where these things happen, you think, oh, this only happens at dirty, nasty six flags because it doesn't have enough IP. And maybe that's coming from you Disneyers out there. All of my rage is because I'm a rat in a cage and I hate the mouse that lives in its house. I think that dark-sighted is where I can take my true anger about the world of Disney out. I told you not to do this, Jackie.

I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not letting it all right now. I told you not to do this, Jackie. But I will say I almost got kicked out of downtown Disney yesterday. And it was because we have friends of ours that are Disney adults. I love them fully and truly, but they are also Disney Goss. Disney adults are worthy of love. They are. We're not disputing that.

No, we are not. We love our Disney adults. I love my Disney Goths out there. They go to Oogie Boogie Bash every year. They're always trying to get us to go in my. brain, I don't think that paying, you know, thousands of dollars to do a whole Disney experience is worth it for shit rides. Yeah, I said it. I'll get on Tower of Terror. Sorry, they got rid of it here. They turned into Guardians of Galaxies. So you even took the good stuff.

I've, that was, you took the Muppets away. So it's like, what, what do you want from me, Disney? And so then I'm going to park two miles away from downtown Disney. So that I got to go after You're driving there. You got to park and you got to walk. We end up paying $55 just for the pleasure of parking a mile and a half away. We get all the way there. You got to go through security to get to downtown Disney. Fine.

I'll go through security. You didn't have your gun with you. No. I had purchased a present for my friend that I was going to go see. And it was, is cute. I'm giving a shout out to Morgan with the butts. She makes these crochet. It's her name.

Her business is not called Morgan. with the butts, you'd never be able to find her just calling that. It's these little crocheted things in these little glass jars and they have little butts on them. And so my friend made this. I bought it for her. I brought it. I'm going through the security. He's ripping through my purse.

And then he takes the presents, unwraps the presents, and then takes the thing that was in a little glass jar, knocks it with this big flashlight. It goes, glass. Knock, knock, knock, knock. Glass. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. What? Glass. He did it.

And on the fourth time, I thought I was going to flip out. And I just went, yes, I understand that it's glass. What is the problem, sir? And the way that which and Jeff literally put his hand on my shoulder. And I was like, why are you? And I was like, yeah, it's glass. Why are you hitting it like that? And I got more and more.

and he was just talking and he just kept saying the word glass. And I, it's like, talk to me like a, like if he had said, oh, ma'am, can't bring glass in your guys. Glass is not allowed in the park. You know, I would have been annoyed. I would have walked it all the way back. It was just the interaction. And I was just of the whole. And I'm like, I already, we're already having a deal with all of this business here.

And then I had to end up walking it all the way back to my car or he was going to throw it away. and I was like, I'm going to shove it inside of myself. Before you ever think of throwing it away, I was so enraged. And it's just not how I understand. But you spend all day doing this. It's just, you can't bring this in, ma'am. Like, what is going on? It's just how you speak to people.

And I already just get so angry with Disney that like if you want to get like... Yeah, you're already at like a nine entering Disney. I was already ranting, walking all the way there. I just don't understand, like, the meeting for dinner at downtown Disney, because, like, you know you could meet at restaurants where the food is, like, great. Somewhere, and it's just, and I, I mostly. Where the parking is free or $10. And I need everyone to know, because I don't usually openly rail against the world of Disney.

I need everyone to know, mostly, I'm angry about the fact that there's not a paywall to get to the front of the line easily. I don't understand it. You have to use a genie app. You got to like, you have to like sell your soul to some kind of charlatan. The front of the line for what, a ride? Yes. Oh yeah, you'd get the, um, the genie.

It's the genie app. It's not, I just want to boop and I go to the boop. You know what I mean? And it's like, no, you have to sign up. I'm still like to sign up. It's a whole thing. I've only been to Disney land twice recently and it's both once with my daughter,

once with my son, so it was all kids' stuff. I've never gone on their rides. I don't know how good their rides are. I mean, don't think, I love Space Mountain. Don't get me wrong. I mean, sure, but also it's decapitated what? Four kids and its journey? Like, bring back the alien encounters. That's what I want. Get me some alien encounters. You remember Alien encounters? Space Mountain

is killing people? Yeah, I mean, not anymore. I think that they brought the planet as good as it used to be. I know. Lop, lop, lop, lop those kids' head right off. Well, when I grow up, I grew up near Rye Playland, which is where... Rye Playland, I love... It's where Mariah Carey shot a famous music video.

Yes, I think it was fantasy. Wait. Kara, have you... Did you ever go to Rye Playland as an adult? No, only as a child. Horrific. I remember, I went with my ex to Rye Playland. It's where Big was shot.

Like the boardwalk of where Big was shot. Lots of boardwalk things have been shot at Rye Playland. It's temporarily close. That could just be for the season though. It should be forever. Because I remember at this point, 10 years ago, every ride, I've never been so covered in black and blues from going to a theme park. There was this one ride that you laid down on and you had to lay all the way down

and you held on with your arms up top. And it was like a dragonfly thing. And you would spin all the way up and you were supposed to be going like, you were doing like actual like barrel rolls and stuff like that at Rye Playland. And it wasn't going fast enough. So when you would do the barrel rolls, you would slam him to the top and then slam him to the bottom, and slay him to the top.

And I just, I was the most scared I had ever been on a ride. It's not, like, hasn't been shut down for, like, the most bono-ass place I've ever been to. I mean, there was a huge rumor when I was a kid that there was a dragon coaster, and that was like the big coaster we all couldn't wait to, like, ride. And it had, there was a part where you, like, came out through the dragon's mouth, and there were these two teeth. And they're like, one time this kid.

stood up on the dragon coaster and his head got locked right off. I'm pretty positive. It's a urban legend. I could Google it. But yeah, Playland was my, that was really close to where I grew up. That was my jam. It is. And it was scary then.

Yep, dragon coasters on the Google map of it. What? Yeah, baby, Google. Dragon coaster. See, this is what we were all really shooting for when we were little, you know? This, like, I was scared of everything. We wanted to almost die, yeah. And I loved rolling.

coasters. I don't know why. I can't go in the ocean. I can't, you know, it's like, I can't go into a pool without a noodle, but I love a coaster. Because you're strapped in and you're supposed to feel safe. That's why I feel bad about this man. I feel bad about this man. I know, but it does make me kind of want to try that coaster. I bet Goliath is awesome though. I mean, but okay, real quick though, how do you feel about the pirate ship? And are you terrified of it? This. This is. Oh. No. That's like, whatever to me. The scariest part is I remember specifically last time I went on it and the child that put me in the seat, I was like, it's not going down all the way. And then he's like, it's fine. And then

you know that as it goes upside down and it hangs and I'll never forget. Oh, you're like, I remember, I slammed forward and the stuff that was in my pocket start and I was just like, oh, like, and every time, and I was just like, remember, I would be screaming as it would go past me like, give me off, get me off, up, get me, up, get it. There was nothing. It was like, it wasn't go down. And no one would listen. Oh my God. Your cries went to nothing. But this is the kind of fear I crave.

Yeah, like, I mean, famously, my cell phone was sucked out of my pocket on X2. And it was... That's the one that's given brain trauma. Oh, it's so good. It's such a good fucking ride. But my phone got sucked out of my pocket and it was right below the ride. I mapped it or whatever, right? I find my friends myself.

And I found it. And I was like, it's right underneath the ride. They're like, okay, well, we send people out at 6 o'clock when the park closes to, like, like collect the phones and all the objects that fall out of people's pockets. I go, okay, great. I'll call tomorrow because you're going to find it because it's on and it's right there. Never called me. I kept calling them.

They were like, we don't have it. We don't have it. We never found it. And then obviously, after a day or two, it died. And then it powered on again in Hong Kong about a month later. Huh. And how did it fly all the way there, Kara? And it was literally at an address that people had all over Reddit saying that their phones

powered on there. because it's clearly like a place where they go to like wash phones and like send them off to like wherever like other countries black market phones. Yeah. I was like tweeting six flags and being like because when I was still on Twitter I was like, you guys are running a black market operation where you're selling phones like this is BS. My phone was right under the thing. I was pissed. I was so pissed. And they called they called me because of my tweets.

Whoa. They were like, can we get in touch with you? And then they were like, but basically they put me, they fast track me to somebody a little higher up that was. was like, there's nothing we can do for you. And I was like, I hate you. But that X2, worth it. Almost worth the price of replacing my $700-something phone. And it really is crazy.

Years of giving people brain trauma. And now they're finally closing it. I just, should I go back for one more run? Just one more. No, it's already done. It's already over, man. It was so good because it goes so fast. And then it goes backwards.

Yeah, your head's slam, slime, slam, slam, slam. And you kind of feel stupider afterwards, but you go right to sleep. And it's fine. a little bit, but it's okay. Okay, wait a second. We have, like, buried the lead that we told everybody to do, the homework that we told everybody to do for today. The homework, everyone.

We told you guys to watch the Swan documentary, which is called what again? The Swan documentary. It may as well be. I don't understand with all these things. It's like, you may as well just call it, oh, like, wife got killed by pastor documentary. Like, it's like, you know what I mean?

Just like, just give me what. I guess they're just trying. It's called Swan. The Swan behind the mirror. And it's a- It's just a doc. It's just an hour and 40 minutes. It's not like multiple episodes.

It's just like a documentary. And it's on Hulu and Disney Plus. And it's about the reality show The Swan. Y'all. I was like mesmerized by the doc. This show was on in 0405 on Fox. It was like following in the heels of like, on the heels of like American Idol. and I don't know.

I mean, obviously, the real world had been going on for a long time, but like all these massive network reality shows. And this show was obviously, in case you don't know, was literally 20 or so women are picked to get a ton of plastic surgery. They're basically, quote unquote, ugly duckling.

I mean, a producer in the movie, in the doc goes, yeah, I guess we're, our goal was just to like, take ugly chicks and make them hot. That's quote unquote. I mean. A blog line right there. Yay. Yeah.

So I think I didn't watch it because I was like, that's disgusting. Like I was, but like I'm surprised I never really even like took a look because I didn't recognize any of the people. I never watched it. I didn't recognize the host. Really? Like I remember S&L did a sketch of it, which they referenced in the dock. Like I would be like, oh, I know this one because of that or whatever.

Yes. Or like I mentioned last week. I don't know if it made the episode. or not. There was an episode of Without a Trace where Elizabeth Berkeley plays the contestant on a swan type show. So like I always knew, oh, this is like a show where you have to get like fast surgery. Like I'm telling you like these women were getting rhinoplasties. They were getting their teeth fully freaking redone. Veneer. They were getting veneers. They were getting lipos. But they were getting tag teams. So it wasn't like like multiple doctors working on them at the same

time, which you're really not, like, there's a reason why they don't do that. This guy wants to do your face and this guy wants to do your body. So they're just going to tag team you. And the girls were like, okay. And these women were all like women that were like, oh, I've always not liked this thing about myself, but I've never had the money to change it. Like, I don't have the money to like get or some of them had kids and we're like, you know, losing weight after you have kids, I can tell you, is very difficult. And, and like, so I think basically they all go in and And some of them in the doc you see refusing procedures. Like one woman who I think is so beautiful.

She was beautiful before and beautiful after. But she was like, I don't want you to touch my nose. And that was like the main thing they wanted her to do. And she was like, no. Oh, but then she didn't make it to the pageant, did she? Yeah. Because she did notice that because she didn't get the most, you know, like. Oh, yeah, that was a different girl.

But yes. Oh, yeah. There were girls that were like, I kind of thought once I said no to X, Z. that they, but this is crazy. They thought they were just going to be on this thing where they live together. For three months they're away from their families. They get all this surgery and then there's a big reveal.

They were surprised to find out later that there's a pageant aspect to it. They never told them. So not only do they have to now be in a, like do all this surgery and have the whole like world's eyes on them. I mean, I think they had 10 million viewers or something like that. They have to now compete in a pageant, which when you see pageants on TV, girls have been doing that their entire lives. Like when you see Miss America or you see Miss Universe, they've been doing it their whole lives. So now we're making women that literally just got

new freaking boobs or a new face like strut down the runway and like wear lingerie. Like there was a lingerie competition and this one girl goes, yeah, I was like, I never saw their, I never saw a lingerie section of a, I mean, there's always a swimsuit, but like a lingerie feels weird. No, because they had a swimsuit and they did lingerie. And they did lingerie. And they these poor women that are not trained to do a pet, like they didn't have anyone come in and like teach them like anything about it. They were just thrown to the wolves and this, they were again and again and again. And even when they thought that it's like, okay, it's this pageant and then they find out that they have to compete against each other over who looks better before even

getting to the pageant. And these people are like, we each other was all we had while we were being forced to exercise while we were dead. While they were in recovery from surgery. They literally still wrapped, all still wrapped up, all puffed up, and they're like forcing them to do these exercises. And they had no idea. It was making me like grimace. Horrific.

And just, and what they end up doing because of course, you know, that's the first season. It was a big hit. And then the second season. You got to up it for the second season and make it even more diabolical and crazy. You got to up the ante. And are we going to up? the ante when we come back from this break, you're going to have to come back to find out. Oh, well, you should really put on sunscreen and not drink with a, we're not drinking

I'm just giving ante. I was up in the ante. I'm sorry. I did not know what was going on there, Jackie. Oh, my seamless joke didn't work, Kara. Acting scenes for one, and scene. No, they, they, they, um, with these women, too, like for the second season, they had like sisters go on and have to compete against each other. Except not even that. They had, so they had sisters go on. And then another pair of sisters where they applied together. They come and they come with the news crew. Tell one of the sisters, you got chosen. And she's like, but what about my sister? And they're like, nope. And she's like, no, no. And so she goes and she gets taken. And then after she leaves. and the sisters, they're crying, and they're like, you actually are taken two. And she's like, oh, okay, great. But then she's kept separate from everybody else.

That's going to be the big reveal that her sister did it too. It's just. And so she has to go through this entire process by herself while she's trying to heal and being forced to exercise and they're kept in like prison-like kind of cells where they're not allowed to talk to anybody. Yeah. And also all the mirrors are taking.

taken away so they don't even know what the thing is they can't look at themselves for the whole time. It's just all psychological torture. And at one point they're interviewing one of the plastic surgeons that like the entire time this plastic surgeon was like, ha ha, I did a great job. Look at me and how great I am. Terry Dubrow knew better than to do this documentary.

Like he did not respond to comment. The dentist who they used has had her license taken away. So she was certainly not going to come on. veneers, everything kept falling out, and then they just had the nubs of their teeth underneath because there was no aftercare. Like that woman got her license taken away. So Dubrow knew not to go on, but then this other doctor that was on the show, he's on there like, listen, my job is to make these ugly girls a kind of palatable.

And he says something about a toilet at one point, and the producer goes, but you know you're talking about women. Women, right? You're talking about people, right? And then he said, and he's like, you know, back then I didn't have any empathy. But a couple years ago, I got a dog. and I just feel like things have been feeling different. It was crazy to watch this man talk.

I felt like my head become a cartoon whistle. And he really, and I did love it because the people that made the doc definitely let him sit in his own make of him saying these things where you're just like, you're gonna say that? Okay, we're gonna leave that in. But like I think that

I did like that they really had a sisterhood. These women all really love each other that did it together because they basically trauma bonded going through this thing. And I'm not seeing like, obviously I've made my thoughts pretty clear on here about plastic surgery. Like, I haven't done it, but I'm like, I can't afford it. But I like, if somebody wants to do it, I don't judge anybody for doing it. It's just doing it for the world to see, doing it in a marathon type of,

or not even a marathon, a sprint. But they didn't know. And doing it like, this way for public consumption was truly creepy. And I guess it is like a good sign of our like collective morality, I guess, that I sometimes think we're lacking as a culture, that it only lasted two seasons. And that the first season was like, okay. And then the second season got too much.

And they were like, we're going to pull the plug on this. People say it's the most depraved reality show that's ever been on TV. I mean, the- Maybe the one where the kids had to run the town and they all ended up getting. God, I love it. burns and all that. They're drinking bleach. Yeah. It is, I do think about that one. I do think about that one a little bit where it's like, it does make sense.

If they were going to lure it to the flies over here, I imagine some of them are going to die of bleach. Yeah. You know, I would assume. Now, only the survival of the fittest. If you're going to drink bleach, I don't know. What were you going to do for society? I don't know. I did want to throw this out there to you, Kara.

I forgot to ask you before we started, but do you want to try to watch clown panic for next week? What the hell is that? Clown panic is the new, it's the dock that goes into, remember the, remember when the clowns started showing up? I think it was in like Georgia. It was somewhere over, like all of a sudden there was this summer, South Carolina, that's where it was, where they just kept seeing these clowns everywhere. And I remember the summer of clowns because I wanted clowns to show up in my town. So I was like, where are the clowns? Are you too scared of clowns?

I'm not scared of clowns, but the cover of the, but the cover of the. this. I think I saw it after this was over. After the swan dock was over, it was like offering me this. Yeah, I think that's what. I mean, I saw it. I immediately was like, ooh, but I don't know if it's any good or not.

So maybe that's what we're going to watch. You know, Jared would probably watch this with me. I'll watch it. I'll watch it. See, that's how you do. You got to stitch the husband involved sometimes and get me that husband's stitch. Yeah. But, ew. It's a different kind. But,

I recommend this doc though even though I hadn't watched the show and it was like really kind of hard I liked what the women had to say and I thought it was like a very interesting I mean like the early 2000s as we learned also from the top model documentary was just like a horrible time

to be a woman in terms of the body positivity movement not existing like you know thin was the only thing you could be your nose had to be a certain way your hair had to be a certain way but don't worry model land is being re-released so if you were hoping that that rhetoric was going to come back. It definitely is.

Don't worry, Tyra. You're definitely making sure everybody knows. If you're ugly, you're going to be ugly forever. Unless you get on the swan, guys. It's just 10 hours. And also, a lot of these women were beautiful before they went on.

They just didn't know how to do their makeup like they were on professional professionally done up on television. Specifically, the psychological torture of, I have never been asked to write down every single thing I don't like about myself. Oh my God. I have never been asked to write down every time I've ever been jealous of what another woman has.

I've never been asked to do like, who are you the most jealous of? Who are you the most jealous where it's just like, and they, so they did want to like weirdly pit them against each other. And what I did love about the doc was that the women were like, you can't though. We love each other and you can't. Yeah. Yeah. And it did make me feel like, you're right, the sisterhood. And at the very end, like, I mean, nobody, it seemed like was like, oh, I have, like, a permanent scar across my face from this or anything like that.

No. It seemed like nobody that they talked to at least had, like, permanent physical damage. I think they've had to get some things re-a. A lot of them had to have everything's done. But then, but, I mean, the sisterhood of it was like, it just goes to show that women can, honestly find each other and find friendship and create bonds in the worst of circumstances. We have to. It's because we know how to bond with each other.

And sometimes you bond if you are one of what eight? It's not optimum. She's not optimum. But John and Kate plus eight. You know, y'all. As you recall. I think a lot of us recall John and Kate plus eight. When I say John and Kate plus eight nowadays, I'm usually talking about.

a haircut. If somebody has like that sort of haircut where there's like a swoop in the front with a little bit of spike in the back, I'm like, oh, and then the John and K. Plus 8 hair lady, you know. And you know usually not to trust those people. It's like John Early's wig in the special he does where he plays that character. Oh my God. You know, it's a John and Kate plus eight. I and yes. And now so many horrific stories have come out over the years. A lot of these reality psychos kind of never realized that their kids were going to grow up and write books. Yeah. And try to capitalize on all of the trauma that you put them through and maybe make a little

money off of it, especially because they certainly don't have the money that you had, quote, unquote, set aside for them that you definitely not quote unquote used. And it is, I am just so curious, though, have you, did you watch John and K Plus A? I never watched it, but I got it through osmosis because I watched the soup and they were always playing John and Kate plus eight clips. Like you would just see, you would just see it like on blogs. Like, you know, you would just see like bits from John and Kate plus eight. Like there was a, there was like a moment.

I remember there was like an interview with her and John where they were just sitting there and he was like silent and she was like, can you stop doing that? And she was talking to the camera in like a confessional. And she said, can you stop it? And he was like literally not doing anything. And I was like, these people hate each other. Hate each other. Like, you better.

really freaking like of each other if you're going to have eight damn kids. And now I, you know, if there's a place to confess it, you guys know it's going to be here on darksided. Unfortunately, in my choosing of people that have a lot of children television shows, I watched a lot of the Duggers. Oh, how dare you. And so these are definitely like the John and Kate plus eight and all of the horrors and like the stories that have come from it are all from the parents. Now, just in case if you were wondering with the Duggers, now, while... The kids are really the issue. The kids are the issue.

I'm going to say I'm sure the parents are also the issue. And I watched the Duggers for a long time. I was, I couldn't look away. And Natalie and I have talked about this for years. And now, of course, Natalie does spun and has gone, especially has ripped into the world of the Duggers. But I've never really ripped into the world of John and Kate. plus eight. Now, with the kids, one of the kids just read or just wrote a book and just dropped. Yes. And it's called In the Shadow of Eight surviving the reality of my childhood by Colin

Gosling. Yes. Gosselin. Gosselin, which is Colin with two elves. He's 22 now. He is one of, I believe that they have like, um, other children. Wait, they have like two girls and then they have a set of girl triplets and a set of boy triplets? Oh, no, no, they're sex tuplets. Sex tuplets. Yes. Yes. And I think that's why she was so angry.

I think that she was just all stretched out and upset about it, which I understand. And they should have sent her to the swan. And maybe she would have had a better outcome. She, I mean, and then her and John broke up and she just became Kate plus eight. Like she kept it going. She was clearly like a reality, like we've already talked about other reality moms like this that just like need the money. And I don't know, this, his claim. are not good that she would, you know,

it's what we've heard from like Ruby Frankie and what we've heard, Ruby Frankie's daughter, like, right, wait, is she the bad one, Ruby Frankie? And then the daughter's name something else. And then, like, that they all, that they got slapped and either ears yanked for not behaving correctly on camera,

but that this young boy says he was separated from the rest of the kids, put down in the basement, forced to sleep next to like their cleaning supplies and their extra fridges. says, okay, Bragg. Yeah. And, okay, how many fridge is?

How many extra fridges do you have lying around down there? I guess you have that many kids. I mean, we had six kids growing up. We had one outdoor fridge in our garage. That's true. And a freezer. A garage fridge is when you know you've made it. Garage fridge and garage freezer that my dad would put like old deer meat in that would just

go bad. Okay. So anyway, these people, this woman, it sounds like a lot of the abuse also happened like after they broke up because she told. She told him your dad doesn't want to see you anymore, even though the other kids were all seeing the dad. This shit is horrid. And like referring to him, he is the burden of the family.

It is, but, you know. He would have to yell into a baby monitor to get someone to come downstairs and let him go to the bathroom. Yeah, because he was like tied up. He pissed himself because no one would come down to get him. Like, that's a dog. It is, it's. And that's not even how you treat a dog. No, it's not.

It's worse than how you would even try. treat a dog and it's, I'm happy that Colin, hopefully now with this explosive tell-all, is going to make some money because in this tell-all, he also explained, which he had to eventually explain to his other siblings that the money that was supposed to be there for them when they turned 18, it was gone and that they just, like, Kate just used it all and used it all he even knew to like, like, furnish another house and stuff like that. So it was also like, and we know this is swarming with mental illness issues and it was swarming with, I'm sure.

There was a CPS investigation after he complained to a teacher about his ear hurting after she'd yanked his ear and then she took him out of school. That's weird. When you take your kid out of school after there's been a complaint. But what can a teacher do? Unfortunately, you can't do anything. But like that says something to me about Kate. Oh my God. You know, that's everything.

What are you doing? That you immediately just take him at school? You're not like, this is a misunderstanding. you're like, you can't be in school anymore where you can tell people what I do. Other people anymore. I just this is so scary and I hope that Colin

is able to move past this. She's kind of blaming it on like mental health stuff that he had and like, you know. Oh so you zip tight him in the basement? Like that's it doesn't matter. She says quote, all measures that were taken in our home

were at the explicit recommendation of his pediatrician, psychiatrist, and or his team of specialists. And we're put into place to safeguard every member of our family, our friends, as well as our family pets. Here. So that's implying that he was going to hurt other members of the family if he wasn't zip tied in the basement.

But here's the thing. There are people that deal with things like that in their families. Like sometimes they're just. Sure. And that's also not how you treat this. Like let's say there were like there were issues that could have been worked on. You don't just tie him up in the basement. Let him piss himself.

and then that's like that's how you deal with it that's it doesn't make any sense even we need to talk about Kevin he was still going to school yeah with the you know the arrows and everything well Colin was also on season five of special forces so he's he's also doing some trying to get out there trying to get out there but also I feel like at this point in his brain what else like what is he gonna do like where he's I'm sure stunted in many ways of and if this is a way that he could at least make some money. Yeah. I hope the best friend. I wish him the best on special forces. That's like a real.

I'm not going to watch special forces. I tried to watch special forces when Cody Brown was on, which also, oh my God. Is he the spin guy that everybody likes? No, he's sister wives. Oh, he's a sister wife Cody. Okay. He's sister wives. Also, first season they've done no sob and rock.

Robin, no Cody. They got rid of both of them. Bye. I love the other wives anyway. Fuck it. Boy. So now there's no man. It's just sister wives.

Well, there are other men. The show is truly just about the wives now. Well, they've moved on to other men, and now they all have their own individual relationships. Wow. And their kids all like them, and they all hate their father. And that goes to show. Much like the end of the swan, the women find a way.

Right? That they all. And honestly, it's beautiful because I love that the show. that the show didn't end up just being shithead Cody Brown and sobbing robin. Because I think that's what they were holding out for thinking that the other wives, that they would eventually hold out. But everybody, we all loved the other wives more. And we wish the best for them.

You idiot. And now you get nuns of it. Oh no, what is he going to do? All of his hair is falling out. And you look bad. Ha, ha. Take that, Cody. although you did watch special forces

just to watch him suffer. To watch him suffer and I could only still make it through the first episode and that was the amount that I could watch him suffer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just couldn't deal with the rest of it.

Even when JoJo Sewa was on it, I couldn't deal with it. Yeah, we're, I'm just good on all the people that are on special forces. And when you go to special forces, I'm good on you. Like, I've been done. Yes, but then sometimes

they find their way on nation's dumbest or another show. What the hell is that? Or maybe they find out. find themselves on Willie Wonka. Oh, wait. There were no celebrities in Willie Wonka, just real fast. We have to talk about this because I know you already talked about this with MJ,

but I saw it in the dock and I was like, wait, are they talking about this show? Because, okay, here's what happened in my family. Okay. We're all getting Wonka, by the way. Everybody is unconsensually getting this show burnt to us. I was sick for a day, okay? And the kids were like, can we watch this? I hear them in the other room with Jared. And Jared's like, yeah, sure.

Jared comes into my room later and goes, oh my God, the kids are watching the worst freaking show. But they like baking impossible. They like, is it cake? They like shows where like teams have to work together to like make something. I think that's awesome.

And I'm like, great, okay? Team building, making cool stuff. There's a show called making fun that they like. There's a lot of fun shows like that. I thought this was a show about people who make candy. I thought it was like teams that come in and instead of like, is it cake? They're like candy people

and they're making cool different candies and this and that. I love that and I'd love to see that show. By the time I recoup from my illness, by the time I have gone through my convalescence, and I emerge from my sick cocoon, and I'm like making dinner a few days later, and I'm hearing them watching it, and I go, what the hell is this?

And is that Gene Wilder's voice? And Jared goes, yeah, I told you. They licensed Gene Wilder's voice. It's awful. It's like you just, every time I hear it, I hear Gene Wilder go, unfortunately, you're being terminated and you'll have to leave the factory.

It's like he would die. He's rolling over in his freaking grave. There's no way. Listening to the fact that his family gave away his voice to this show. It is garbage, okay? It's so mad. So the only episode I actually sat and watched with him

and when I tell you that Oscar specifically, my five-year-old son, is addicted to like the drama of it. He loves it. he goes, I mean, he goes, I don't know, it feels like Travis is going to get terminated tonight. I mean, like, he just, he has all the lingo. He's like, he's like, unfortunately, I just don't think this is going to work. Like, it's hilarious.

That's so funny. And like, Rosie made a thing of animals, like, where she wrote, drew all these animals. And then she named them after the, like, the top six contestants on this fucking Wonka show. What? And was like, oh, because there's one guy that's named like Riod or some name like, like, Zod. Zod. Yes.

Yes. And then, like, Travis. and Gabrielle and all the people. And she's like just naming. Oh my God, they're all coming to life. Yeah, they're like little animals on her doodles that she's doing. And I'm like, what's happening? So I watched the final with them.

And they were hilarious. Like, just watching with my kids was hilarious. But the show is garbage. But they're torturing these people on this show. And it is not. I feel like it's not. It was one of those things too where they're like, you win $3 million.

Sprint over 30 years. And they just keep saying, spread over 30 years. And I'm like, wait a second, $3 million spread over 30 years. Wait a second. It is $100,000 a year. It is. But then also, we all know taxed.

We all know. It's like, and also it's like, this is run by like a shell company LLC. Is this going to be happening in the years? They're setting up a legit bank payment where you're going to get paid in 2048. Like, I don't believe that. You're sure about that? Yeah. I just don't think that in 30 years.

I think they're like guaranteeing. They're counting on the AI apocalypse, like, hacking our entire banking system. They're like, oh, I hope. Give it up a setter. We've got to get going. The robots need to take over soon. We are running out of money. How many degrees can we get the global warming? Because $3 million is $100,000 is even a lot.

Like the drag queens, I think, only get $100,000 on drag race. And that's like a popular show. That's why. And for other years, they were only getting 75. And with the way that they cut corners on this show, where they didn't even like, for instance, pay Nick Cannon to show up. He's just like zoomed in. The fact that they all of the corners that they cut for this show.

And you think like maybe that's where they're getting the money from. No, I think they're just lying. Okay, well, sorry, spoiler alert for anyone that wants to watch Wonka the Golden Ticket and they want to watch the end. Gara, no. In the end, it gets down to these two girlies, right? And one is I respect her story. She was in foster care. She moved to a lot of homes.

but she has dead eyes. Do you know what I mean? She's just like one of these like sort of young girls that's like, I just think this money would like do a lot for me and my family. She's just dead affect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other girl, whatever, is like a little bit. But I guess the other girl has kind of like fucked some people over along the way.

And so basically at the end they bring back all the old cast members, which I like. And they're like, well, they're going to all have to vote for one of you. And so basically it gives the two girls a chance to kind of be like, well, I'm sorry about this. thing I did. Oh, to plead their case. Yeah, like the reason I did that was this, but I could understand how that would make you upset, and I'm really sorry, and I hope you forgive me, whatever.

But then you think it's just going to be them voting for them, but really how they earn a point is not through the votes. It's through guessing who you think they're going to vote for. This is what I was saying about. I kind of love that. What I kind of weirdly liked about the goddamn show is that even when you won, you never really won. And I kind of liked that.

Because in the end, it's not a popularity contest. It's a perception contest. It's like, how do you, do you correctly perceive how people perceive you? So basically, like, there'd be times where the girl would be like, I know that they're going to vote for me and they'd hold up their own name. Because I know this person and I have a bond. But then they'd be like, I don't know, this guy kind of hates me. And they'd be like, I think you're going to vote for this other person. But you get a point if they do.

If they do. So I thought that was kind of creative. The rest of the show is garbage. Absolutely. And it's a lot of manufacturer draw. that my kids ages five and seven were eating up. Because the thing is that if there's a show without a host, it's difficult to be able to keep things moving.

So don't worry, the creepy AI voice would do it. But every single time they just made them, would put them in these horrible situations where they would have to be the ones to, like, personally kick off somebody. Literally somebody at one point, she's like, but my mother, my mother is in a hospital. and she's just like, you've got to go.

And like, it's just like, this city is so, it's so mean. It's so funny. You said like Nick Cannon is like zooming in. Like they literally have a hologram of Howie Mandel at the end. Oh, yeah. Of Howie Mandel? You can't even afford Howie? Like, but why didn't they just get a host and say like, I'm like Steve Wonka.

I'm Willie Wonka's great, great grandson. on I would have rather had a funny, wacky, weird dude who I've never heard of. How about be the host of the show? Exactly. Then the ghost of Gene Wilder, who I know would absolutely hate what this is. I'm trying to look up what the name of, I think his name is Mark L. Wahlberg. What is the name of Temptation Island has, the new iteration of Temptation Island has a host. And his name, I think it's Mark L. Wahlberg.

And they always have to say the L because it is not Mark Wahlberg. It is just some old dude. No one knows who he is and he is the host of Temptation. And every time he like comes on on Temptation Island, all the hot young people are like, wait, who is that? Who is this old guy? Is this a producer? Mark L. Walbur.

I think it's Mark L. Walsberg. It's whatever. There's a letter in between. You got it. Mark L. Wahlberg. And he is the host of Temptation Island. He has to say Mark L. Wahlberg.

And I, it's just these kind of things. So funny that people named Mark Wahlberg just have to be in the spotlight. I guess. You just must be. I don't know. There's something. I guess, or you can go be a burger somewhere because Walburgers, you heard it here first. It sucks.

Is it still open? I don't know. I just remember last time I went there maybe 10 years ago, I was just like, are they still trying to do this? Man, they were really trying to shove that down our throats for a while. But I really think that the Walbergs thought in some capacity that they are the Scarsguards. You know what I mean? I really feel like they think that they're on a different level, you know?

No. You don't think they do? You think they know? Oh, I think they do. Oh, yeah. But they're not where, they're not. Scars guards. Oh, no, they're never a Scarsguard.

Oh, my God, Wicker. How dare you? Kara, we got to go see Wicker together. What's Wicker? Kara? It's like you've never talked to me before. No, I mean, you just- Is Alexander Scarsguard.

He's made out of Wicker. He is made by Peter Dinklage for Olivia Coleman to have sex. with and the whole movie is, I'm not seeing this. Now you're seeing it, Kara, and sorry, you don't have an option. Does he have a wicker penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you got to see it in the UK trailer. That's going to tear a movie at Coleman up.

Apparently, it's because you got to think the wetter, the wicker, the slicker, the hole. Because it expands when it's all wet, and then it makes it all like flobbly. And then you could shove it inside of you. And there's doing a one night only 40X showing that apparently Alexander Scars. 40X, there's going to be like the smell of wicker? Yes. Wet wicker? Yes.

No. Yes. And Alexander Scarsguard said in an interview that he thinks that at one point, Olivia Coleman's urine, like a pale gets splash. And he's like, I'm pretty sure the audience is going to get splashed with Olivia's urine. And he thought that was fun. Oh, you know, a little bit of Olivia Coleman urine. I'll take it.

it'll make us blossom. I don't know. Whatever she's got, I want more of it. I don't know if I can do this. Wicker, Wicker, man. Sexual Wicterman. We were just talking last week about seeing more erotic thrillers together, but you don't want to go see.

This just doesn't feel as erotic to me. This is a really hard jump from baby girls. Yeah, it's going to be a real hard. This is a really hard jump. Yeah. Oh, yeah, ribbed, some might say. Also, God, if you were like with somebody that was made out of Wicker, just the sound of them creaking through the house,

my husband's breathing and eating drives me crazy. I'd be like, shut up. I know you're a basket, but I don't care. Shut out, you human basket. Get inside of me again. It's the only way I can deal with you. We're getting to the end of our time. We are.

Do you have anything to do? Are we going to do a list? No, we're not. We're not going to do anything. We're just going to end. We're going right into the end. We're going to save this list for next time. We're just going to coast on a wicker dildo right out of this place. Right into the sunset together.

This movie is going to set wicker dildos on a blaze. And I'm so upset. People are going to be buying wicker with all those. Because maybe that'll be like what the popcorn comes in. See, the antsy popcorn bucket is his chest. And I wish it were, if it were the dick, I would. Or like a nice wicker booty. Oh.

Little butt cheeks. I looked on the back. You share like you have left cheek. I have right cheek. You sort of share popcorn. Oh, yeah. I mean, this is the problem is I just keep threatening people that they have to go to see Wicker with me because Jeff is just like,

it's literally just going to be like a prisoner walk where Jackie like walks all her friends into an AMC. Okay, we're all up to you. Up to, up to, everybody in. We are watching it. We're not watching it myself. Come on, let the magic begin. And I'm excited to do that to all of you.

But also, I won't do it to all of you guys unless you want me to. I would really love to get a whole like page seven group together to watch Wicker. That would be pretty sick. Oh. Those are big, big goals, guys. But for now we've got to take those goals.

Put them in your holes. Gum them up. wicker doesn't get inside. Don't forget that next week is our Halloween bitch-a-thon. So if anybody would like to hop on over to YouTube.com slash at who's the bee, you can call in, you can join the chat and just chat along and have fun, make your own little jokes. Let me read your jokes and laugh at them. You can just watch or yeah, call us with a problem. Your face, your camera can be on, your camera can be off. We'd love to see your face. But we're taking live calls. We're getting people's bituations. who's bothering you in your life.

Something's got to be happening at work with your family. Is it spooky related? Is it something about, I will say, I have talked to multiple people that are annoyed because certain people have taken the Saturday Halloween for other things. And because it's a kid, it's a Saturday Halloween and we have kids, it's like we can't really do anything.

When Halloween's on like a Thursday, we can always go to the party the week before without our kids. But now, us kid people are, we're shackled. So come on over, bring your bituations. So this is where I'm actually partying. Yeah. I'm not going to get to go to any. Halloween parties really this year. I've been invited to some, but I can't go. So I need you to come party

with me on October 22nd. 4 p.m. Pacific. 7 p.m. Eastern. Grab your buzz balls. It's usually like a three hour affair and we just sit and we get a little bit tipsy. Oh yeah. And we are going to have some fun guests and we're going to play bitch bingo. It's going to great. It's going to be tune on in. An affair to remember for all involved. I want to see some original bitchlings there. I want to see some page seveners there. I want to see people that are both. Also, and if you want and you're going to call in, you can call in in in costume. We'd also love to see that. Oh, hell yeah.

It's another opportunity. Yeah, throw a little headband on those. Come on, we want to see it. A little tiger ears, something like that. Come on. We love you guys so much. Hope you have a beautiful rest of your week. Thank you so much for joining us on this week's Page 7 Darksided.

And we'll see you spooky soon. See you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.