Page 7 - Dark Sided - Slurps Up!

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Kara and Jackie are back with more DARK SIDED news as they discuss former American Idol contestant Caleb Flynn's fate, the FINAL EPISODE of 'A Killer Story' for the LAST time, 'The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City' had  ski adventure, The Pioneer Woman's son is facing charges, then GRAB YOUR OOKYS, IT'S ABOUT TO GET SPOOKY WITH HALLOWEN BUZZBALLZ as we're startin' to get ready for our HALLOWEEN BITCHATHON October 22nd! Sean Penn once more proves that a broken clock is right twice, the full trailer for 'You Can See Everything' has dropped! Jeff Lous scolded Andy Cohen for his babysittin' pay, and then we have AN EeEeEeEeEeEEEEeeEeEVIL LIST of Celebrity Sex Confessions That Bought Property In My Brain And Now Live There!And to close it out, in our 'Who's The Bitch?' corner we have an email from a listener dealin' with an unwanted bathroom bestie.Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Come see the darker side of seven. Hello everybody. Welcome to page seven darksided. And again, we didn't sing it properly. I slipped. I slipped. We even talked about it. Kara, we talked about it.

And what else are we going to be talking about here on page seven darksided today? Well, we're going to be going to all kinds of stuff. I know we're going to be getting into a killer story. So don't you worry about that. A killer story, another real life killer story. Oh, yes. We're going to be getting into another real life killer story, but know this real housewives of Salt Lake City,

and they just kill you with their looks. And you should be scared of them, though, as if they were real murderers. We're probably, we're going to, you know, I bet we're going to get to maybe some Dolly Parton estate stuff. I will say, even though my entire algorithm is about the Cornell 7, we're not talking about it on dark-sighted. We're not talking.

talking about it. Jackie's choice. I love talking about it. I know you love talking about it. And it's so funny because I will throw it out there that having meetings with Natalie, amazing co-hosts of mine for LPN Romantici deep dives, but also she does spun. And I will say, you know, Natalie is really lost in the Cornell 7 sauce. So I feel like every co-host I have today, I've been meeting up with them being like, okay, you have seven minutes for the seven. get it out of your system. What do you got? What do we got to scream about? I don't have anything to say.

I mean, this shit's been going on forever. Justice! And we want justice and I hope we get it. Yeah, but keep spreading their pictures everywhere. I had a face-to-face with my five-year-old this morning. Oh, how did this grow? Where I was like, where I was like, so if you see a bunch of people doing something bad and you know it's bad,

you're not going to join in, right? You're going to stop, right? You're going to go get someone who can help or you're going to help. He goes, yeah, no, I'm not going to. do it. I'm not going to do that. I was like, well, I'm great. I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about Oscar getting into that. I think, you know, I know that he loves Glinda so much, but I, you know, I think he's going to be more of an ally and less of a frat boy, but I still think that men of all stripes need to help women. Yes, you are so correct. When there are predator men around. And thank you for

teaching your child. Startum young. You got to start. I'm young. So this is. I know we record, obviously, if you know how the podcasting world works, we record a couple days before things happen. But as of this recording, it is just a few hours hot off the press. You know, we started this podcast talking about a documentary about a pastor. A pastor who we think killed his wife. And there's another. There's another famous pastor in the news who's been in the news. And that's Pastor and former American Idol contestant, Caleb Flynn. I just think that's so funny that you can't do anything the rest of your life without it being considered former American Idol contested.

Do you think that part of this is because he didn't win? I don't know, but the crazy, one of the funniest videos from this case, and it's not funny, he murdered his wife to be with his fiance, to be with his mistress. Hilarious, Kara. That's not funny, but what is funny is that he made his mistress, a 24-year-old girl who's her name, A-L-E-I-A, like A-L-E-I, like, A-L-E-I, but with, like, too many vowels. Oh, I love it when they add extra letters in there. He made her a song about their love that, as an American Idol contestant, I thought he would sing,

but he had A-I sing it. Oh, my God. This is why you didn't win. And there's a video of the whole court listening to the song, and he's sitting there, and you could just see every woman in court is like, like, you cannot hold it together. he's singing a lot like the other pastor cried. It's country. It's a country.

It's a country AI ballad about their true love. Oh, he's choosing Texas, but he's choosing Elegia. I just don't have, you're so, you're so stupid for murdering your wife. Like, literally divorce is an option. I don't understand what these people do this. But what about, what's God going to say about that divorce? I don't know what God's going to say, but I do know what Verizon's going to say. These people talked for weeks and months about how he could get rid of her like they were on some kind of encrypted line and they're just on their phones.

Oh, so he was just. There's pages of text messages between them where she's like, I told you you had till January to leave her. And he's like, I love you so much. I promise I'm going to get rid of her. I'm going to, if I could get rid of her, like if I could figure out a way to kill her where I wouldn't go to jail, I would do it. At least they got he was so stupid that he put it all in writing. Yes. like thank you for that, I guess.

I think the jury deliberated for like two hours. I think, which is like a long time, I think, for how freaking guilty this guy is. He says it was an intruder who broke into his house and shot his wife twice. Gotcha. I probably took nothing. Gotcha. But he definitely didn't take the winning trophy home from American Idol. Yeah.

Or else we would know his name and we don't know his name. The only thing we know him for is murdering his wife and you're so much of an idiot that you didn't even get away with it. This is the problem. It is like, honestly, if you're watching a killer story, it does make sense that so many people would assume in that situation that a woman did it because she didn't leave any evidence. I feel like this is a part of the reason why they were like,

oh, there's no way a man could have done this because they want to laugh shit everywhere. We're about to conclude our three-part series is the third episode of Darksided, and it's our third time talking about a killer story because it was three episodes and we both finally finished it and it did my head in. Whoa. Because the first two, okay, fast forward.

You haven't watched it yet. I want to say thank you two to everybody that last week when we're like, oh, the third episode's out on Thursday. So by Friday you guys are already having slurped up. Thank you so much for the slurps up we received from everybody that slurped it up. Slurp it up, slurp it up.

because I slurped me and the second Thursday hit was like, give me that episode. I was not feeling well. I was pretty sick all weekend and I was like, we got to put it on before the kids get home. When we like watched it,

like I watched with one eye open and was like, what the? It was crazy. I will say, I am extremely susceptible to whatever a documentarian wants me to believe, I will like believe it.

Like I thought Adnan on Syed didn't do it. I mean, I still kind of do. Oh man, I listened to all that. The making a murderer guy. I was like, yep, he didn't do it. Definitely didn't do it.

Any way that the documentary is telling me to go, I'm like, great, you want me this way? Okay. Like, I just, that is what I do. And so for me, I was like, nope, this is bullshit. This is a sexist crime. This is about people, they didn't do any, they didn't do any due diligence. There's no way that this woman procured an oozy to commit this crime, which I still don't. That part is very weird for me.

The whole gun, a part of it. that she got this crazy, like, specific gun that is difficult to get, that, I, I know that there's ways of which you can prove that, like, oh, I don't know how to do this, but I was like, can someone give her the oozy and be like, try to load this? I just feel like I wouldn't even know where to start. Here's kind of where, so what happens in the third installment, is nuts, nuts. She, there's a hung jury and she represents herself in the retrial. And we all know. we've all watched so much true crime. You don't do that.

You don't do that. But also, I looked further into it as well because I was wondering, because in the first two episodes, everything's about the couple that becomes so obsessed with the true crime that, like, that gets so obsessed with it that they become a part of this docu-series.

And in the third one, they leave her high and dry. They're like, we're not going to talk to you while you continue to represent yourself. But it makes also so much sense because apparently the two of them had, which they didn't even get into in the docu series, had worked tirelessly with a foundation

to get her teams of people. Her lawyer in the second case is awesome. That guy's great. She apparently fired 15 lawyers that they got for her, this foundation set up for her, that that's why by the

time the couple was so fucking done with her by that third episode. Okay. Does that make more sense, though? Makes way more sense. It's like I really wanted to believe, and I think the documentary wanted me to believe that this was like, there's no evidence that this woman was in the state. I think if I'm going to drive across state lines 10 hours to go kill my ex-husband, I don't,

I don't know where he is, I don't know what time he's getting home. If I'm idling outside of his house for a few hours, someone's going to see me. Nobody saw anything. And that is what's so crazy, except this one woman who literally said she brought out an eyewitness and said that she saw her and she fully had the time. She said she heard a gunshot at 1130 p.m. when the victims were still at a casino for two more hours. So anyway, my issue, Jackie, is the gas cans. Why did she get the gas cans? She had three gas cans in her car and that's what kind of they built their whole.

whole case on the fact that she gassed up these gas cans and that's how she got herself all the way over to Kansas from Colorado, right? Yes. Why doesn't she ever explain? There's nothing in the dock anywhere why she has those damn gas cans. I just feel like if I were in prison for that long doing something like I feel like I would have come up with better excuses by then. I feel like I would have written down a couple more excuses.

I just, you should really have your own back, especially. especially if you're going to be your own lawyer. But the... I mean, I'm here Googling Dana Chandler why the gas cans. There's nothing. The docu series really is crazy and you should watch it because even we're not even giving all the ins and outs

of this series away. We're barely spoiling anything. I just, at the end, Jared changed what he thought happened. Really? And I was like, I really can't say. You can say with certainty, you don't think she did it? No.

Yeah. No, I can't. There's no evidently, but there's also no evidence. There's no evidence. So it's just, but that's why, oh, suribet, sluribet, sorry, but I'm just because. It's all the gas cans and it's all the motive that she hated him. That's it. And that's it.

And I just feel like going back to what you were talking about earlier. And her alibi changed. She was camping by herself. She was driving to a bunch of different locations. That looked really bad on the same. It looked really she changed her alibi a bunch And it's like, babe, again, you've been in jail for years. You've got to stick it through and go,

the reason I thought that the reason I said this is because I got confused because I had actually gone to visit a different friend who lives and have the answers. Make, figure it out. Girl. She just didn't even have any answers. She just goes, yeah, that is different from what I said before. As if they weren't going to bring it up. But I really, guys, it's on HBO.

Check it out. a killer story. We shan't be talking about it again. I know, we shan't be talking about it. This is it. This is where it comes to die. I hope you've enjoyed this killer story podcast. I did love that I'm going to say, I think that I thought she was guiltier,

the more bobbed her hair became. The more it curled under. I was like, I don't trust this bitch. I don't know what it was about the curl under that I was like, you ain't no Brady Bunch, bitch. We all know. that your children didn't like you. Okay? You were no good at it.

Don't your Brady bunch at me? She was sober. She'd been previously an alcoholic when they had their volatile relationship. Now she's sober. She lives multiple states away. You're living your life. Your kids are grown, right? The kids are older?

Yes. And also, if you murdering, would you murder these people? I also feel like if she were hammered and everyone's like, oh, man, she was off her schnacker. And yet, using an oozy, there were no errant bullets. Yeah. Like it's just literally just done done done done da da da da da da da da da da da da yeah.

So anyway, guys, we're never going to know. And are you going to know the end of the docu-series? You're going to have to watch it because we're not going to tell you the very end. Even though every episode you're going to sloop it up so fast because everyone is only like 40 minutes. I could have watched it forever. I was just like I was going to be so many more episodes I was disappointed. But it was done and it was good. devastated, but that's okay. And there are certain things that are done that we just have to move

past. And that is everything that happened last season on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Because these women are growing, okay? They're changing. And it's not all about Mary Cosby's son, okay? Because sometimes Lisa Barlow needs to have a ski adventure. And the only reason why I'm bringing up Real Housewives of Salt Lake City this week is because I just thought it was so funny for Lisa Barlow to put together a ski hang if she doesn't really know how to ski. She doesn't? And it was very funny that she fell off of the ski lift. She can barely see that.

I've only seen half the episode. It's so stupid. It's so funny. And I just, they're all so evil. And I love watching them screech at each other. And maybe it's because I'm also. so scared of skiing. And maybe it's because I think about Gwyneth Peltro losing half a day of skiing in her trial. And maybe it's what you're going to be thinking about. Well, I lost half a day of

skiing. I lost half a day of skiing. But what did you lose during this ad? You lost nothing. All you did was gain from it. Yes. And you look great. Wait, can I just say one thing? My favorite thing, too, is when they're like, I hate Whitney. I think she's a bad person. I don't want to be around her. I think she's terrible energy. She hates me. She said it. I don't like her. But, I'm planning a ski day and I'm inviting everybody because I want everyone to be included. Like you're us, you're inviting this person

that you just spent a significant time saying you hate and can't stand and like, you don't want her in your life. And I know it's a TV show and I know we have to have you together. But just the way that they make them kind of like explain it with no, there's no good reason. No.

I just want to include everybody. I hate this person and she doesn't include me in one thing, but I'm just going to include her. So we can all be together and something bad can happen. And it's going to be fine. But I did love it because, Lisa Barlow just kept being like, look at me for once not bringing the drama. Look at me, even though she's the one that put the whole thing together.

It was just, I just thought it was funny. And now, you know, Kara, I was actually surprised because you put on the dock a link about the pioneer woman. And do you know that I love the pioneer woman? Jackie, do we have a ghost? I did not put this in the dock. You didn't put it in the dock? I didn't put it in the dock. Who put it in the dock?

Who put it in the dock? Because I don't know anything about the pioneer woman. I thought you put in the dog. No, I assumed that was you because I put a couple of other things that are further down, but I didn't do this one. Oh my gosh. Somebody put it in the dog. Who is the pioneer woman? Tell me more.

Okay. Oh. Is she a trad wife? You are going to be bored right to sleep, Kara, because the thing is, is that MJ and I over on page seven, love the pioneer woman. and she is a part of the food network. She is this woman that is married to a hot cowboy, like an older cowboy man. Yes, they all stole the land.

And she, her whole thing is that like, I am a city woman, but I left the city to come out to the ranch because I make these big meals for my big bustling family because they're out on the ranch all day. Okay. And so MJ and I have always been obsessed with Pioneer Woman because we weird.

long. Like, I don't want to be a trad wife in any way, shape, or form. But there is a little part of me that wishes I could be like, ring the bell and be like, come on it, boss, sup, sup, you know, like, there's a part of me that wishes I could be that. And I love, she loves Lad so much who is her husband. Ladd. And she loves Ladd. And Ladd loves her. And I'm always waiting with bated breath because I'm waiting for something especially evil to come out about Ladd besides everyone just being like, their family stole the lands.

You're right. Their family did steal the lands. But Lad didn't steal the lands. And he's a sexy cowboy. And this story actually makes me very sad because the pioneer woman, everything is about her family. and like she's got the beautiful like the perfect kids and now she's got the grandbabies and she I was like this seems like she's got a line of like kind of crappy like cookware. It's all at Walmart, babe. And then I just found it all. You're damn right. Oh yeah, it's all at Walmart. Okay. And unfortunately,

I've never seen this woman in my life. Really? I've never laid eyes. It's probably for the best. But I don't watch anything on the food, the food channels. Uh-huh. Not a thing. Honestly, I'm happy for you. Because I think that I think about food too much and I love to stare at food and I love to dream about food. I love food. I watched Top Chef for like 10 years and then I stopped. Gotcha. I just, I don't really, I never mess with the food channels or the HGTV or the TLC, any of those, really. Okay.

None of the like the design stuff or you didn't do like trading spaces or any of that. Wow. See, this is why we come together. We bring the worlds of reality. But it's weird because I really would like that stuff, I think. I like interior design. I mean. Yeah.

And I remember like even back, oh, man, trading spaces really was, God, it was atrocious the way they used to design rooms. But we have been following the family of Pioneer Woman for a long time. Okay. And she and Ladd adopted Jamar as a foster son when he was in his teens because he, he played football with her sons. Okay. Very blindside. And so it's very, it's very blindside.

It's very, but it was never looked, it never looked weird or on, you know, like, it just simply was like he needed a place to go. He wanted to be able to graduate high school. They helped him out. Unfortunately now he has been arrested on drug and assault charges. No. And it makes me sad because I also do wonder what, you know, what having, like, what he's been through, like, what he's had to undergo, what he's had to deal with, like, especially with systemic racism in a way that no one in her family, especially when we're talking about the lands that they stole, that like none of that has ever affected Pioneer Woman. So I, like, part of me just feels sad that I, that I hope that this is not just systemic racism of the time and a place in an Alabama.

I'm, we don't know, but we do know that he is being charged with unlawful possession of a controlled substance, drug paraphernalia, use, possession, delivery, or sale, and attempting to elude a police officer and aggravated, assault. You know, he had an ATV accident, this guy. He did have the ATV. That is possible could have led to a bigger drug problem. So part of what is not interesting, but I do wonder what happened with it. He was in a, an ATV accident on Pioneer Woman's property. Yes. That he got hurt during the ATV accident. Is all of this adoption? Is all of this, is it a lot yuckier than we might assume? You think she was like, we'll just adopt you if you don't sue us for your ATV accident? Or how about we cover all these surgeries and anything else that was needed as part of a way of of keeping? Now, again, this is complete conjecture. And I would only bring this up because of a conversation like this.

it's just and it's not looking great for the old pioneer woman. Yeah, and I understand when everyone was upset about which, and I wasn't trying to make light of the fact that the land is stolen land. I'm making light of the fact that it's,

it wasn't lad that did it. It was generations ago in his family. So that's where my joking comes in, about this, like the seriousness of the crime of doing it. It is, it's just interesting because I feel like with the pioneer woman, it's always been towing this line of just like, I like you, but I don't know if I'm supposed to. You know, do you have anybody like that?

Yeah. Like that you follow that you're like, I should probably, like, MJ and I talk about it a lot. Like, MJ still follows Hilaria on Insta. And just because they're so curious, but like, do you have anyone in your, in your algo that, like, I should not be following this person anymore? No. Ew. Yes. For sure.

Ooh. Oh, my God. Who? There's definitely people all the time that I'm like, I'm going to assume, like a housewife. I should have to stop following this person. No. Oh, crap. While you're thinking, I forgot.

I brought you some thinking juice. Yes. Help me. Franken tini's have a buzz ball. It's a Frankeneteenie. They're disgusting. I forgot. I brought us buzz balls.

Boo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Because there are, oh, we've got the Halloween flavors out. And, man, someone sent me a picture of this. Oh, the flavors are on the back. The flavors on the back. And I don't know if you notice, but they have changed on the buzz balls from woman owned to woman unfounded, so don't worry, she doesn't own it anymore. And I think that it makes sense because someone must be making the flavor profile over here

because I'm going to say it. Kara, I already tried this, and I apologize, I tried it without you. Oh, my God, I can smell it from the second I opened it. And now it's all over my freaking hands. I just popped it open and it's going to break my computer. If you're wondering Frankenini, if you're like, what is a Frankeneteen? Taney tastes like, if you're wondering if it tastes like bubble gum and cotton candy mix together. This is super gross.

It's, I thought the gold melon was bad. I mean, this is like, this reminds me of like when they just started doing like, um, smearing off, like, smear off like whips or like shot like where there would be like alcoholic cotton candy. It's all over me. With cream that you put in your mouth. I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Like, this is like giving, oh, let's try to get the college girls involved. Like, you know? Yeah, but I feel like. Because it's like sweet. What does this have to do with

Frankenstein? I don't know. Is Frankenstein a real bubble gum chewing, like cotton candy kind of carnival babe? Or is it like, oh, was he held together with bubble gum? Like, is that what it is? I genuinely, it's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. I can't, I can't believe they out-topped gold melon. By the way, to, as, as, a reminder, don't forget to tune in to our bitch-a-thon on October 22nd where we will be drinking some of these, but I will

actually have my white wine to put a little floater in. It definitely needs something Kara and I brought these... That is horrible and also not freezing cold. My buzz balls have got to be ice cold or it makes, I can feel

bile already coming up. I wanted to bring it to you the way I originally supped upon it. Probably, yeah. as the Lord intended. Yes, and I think that, honestly, if you want to get the true flavor palette of a buzzball, drink it at room temp. You know, guys, let us know if you find any other Halloween buzzball flavors

because, I mean, Pokemoons, we got to catch a mule. There has to be more. There have to be more. You know that there are. But why, again, Frankenini makes no sense. And I like that there are brains on the outside of it. Don't get you wrong. The whole like that.

Well, there's a pumpkin one. Oh, no. And then there's one called Witches Potion. Oh, no. Which I think we had last year at the, at the, oh my God. I think we had it last Halloween Bichathon. Are you just being reminded of what it, of what the flavor palette is? Well, it is telling me what the flavor profile.

What is it? What is it? Which is, um, Citi-O-Much is it. notes, lime, and honeydew. Oh, honey, don't. Honey don't. No, thank you. And this is coming from a melon medley ass bitch,

because those of you that listen to page seven, you guys know I'm obsessed with melon medley, which is the waterloo sparkling water. I'm obsessed with it. You can taste all the melons. So you would... Well, it's different when it has a 15% alcohol content. This is the thing, and I don't know if I want my honeydew

soaked with booze. I never, I never, like, chewed on some dew and thought this needs to be a little bit more alky. Oh, this is so disgusting. It's bad. Okay. What's next? What's next? What are we talking about next?

I don't know. It depends on if you want to keep whatever we're talking about as upsetting as the flavor in our mouth, because I guess that would be I want to bring up this meme online that says that Sean Penn is the left's Mel Gibson. because it's so crazy. I hate Sean Penn so much. I just, he punches women. He's just a horrific piece of garbage. I almost didn't even see one battle after another

because I didn't even want to see him on my screen, even though he's very good at being a piece of garbage. By the way, this article, the first line is Sean Penn is pulling no punches in his takedown of, I mean, it's like, is the author of this trying to like allude to the fact, I would never use the phrase pulling punches with somebody from writing about an actor who has notoriously beaten several women with his fists? Yeah, no, that's, or is that exactly how you want to write it? Or is this how you kind of say, we'll never forget, Sean. Because then also, then the writer's not pulling any punches either.

And I, I do appreciate that. Yeah. Because even though, and I also appreciated you, Kara, when I brought this. in and you're like, I'm not pro Sean Penn. I was like, oh, no, I'm not pro Sean Penn either, but a broken clock is still right twice a day because even though this is a horrific way to say an anti-AI stance, I do kind of agree with what Sean Penn is saying because they were talking about the looming threat of AI being able to replicate people's visages, their voices, especially in the world of acting. And he,

what Sean Penn says is, see, you want my scans and voice data and all that? Okay, here's what I think is fair. I want your daughters, because I want to create a virtual replica of her and invite my friends over to do whatever we want in a virtual party right now. Would you please look at the camera and tell me you think that's cool? Just a horrific, like, I hear, the problem is, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, you know, it's just with everything else that we're talking about right now. Yeah. That's going on. It's just, talk about pulling punches.

It's just, is this what we're, is this how we, jazz is how we? He says it's a real exposee on morality. I just, I was so scared, like, you read it and you're like, it. I guess. It's just he has that Mel Gibson about him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just I don't like you. I don't trust you. I don't want to agree with any section of what you've got to say. But like I said, a broken clock is still right twice a day. Yeah. I also, yeah, I kind of loved in one battle after another that I got to watch him get just humiliated and then killed. Sorry. Spoiler.

If you haven't seen that movie. You know, just sprinkle it right on top. Sorry about that. And also, if you haven't checked it out by now, I can't imagine you were that upset about the spoiler. Or hopefully you hate Sean Penn as much as we do and you're happy about the spoiler. So at least you're right. You get to watch him be humiliated. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I do appreciate that. What else? Oh my gosh, so much has been going on, care. Have you seen the full trailer of the Elizabeth Holmes documentary? Oh, my God. Speaking of kind of a person who, and I might be missing, I might be speaking out of school here, but like, has Sean Pan ever been like, sorry for my behavior in the 80s?

I was fucked up and I was young or whatever. No. Does he ever say, sorry, I hit these women? Like, Elizabeth Holmes in this doc trailer, and I think Nathan Fielder is like kind of, of like an insane genius or whatever. And I don't know what this is going to be and I can't wait to see it.

It's called, isn't it called you can see everything? Yes. And it's this documentary where he lived with her for a while. And in the documentary, he's like, so, you don't think you did anything wrong? And she's like, yeah, that's kind of what I can't figure out. I didn't do anything. And it's like, you're about to go to jail

and you haven't actually come to terms with the fact that you did something wrong. Yeah. I even brought up. Like that's DeLooLoo. It's Central, baby. It's crazy to not even be willing to admit anything. And I also brought up the moment at the very end of the trailer

when she's like, I've never shown anyone that I can cry before. Oh my God. And then like a robot, like a... Just blinking out the tear of a black hair. Or episode. They're like cue the tear. And then it's like, gluck, glick, glick, gluck. You can, yeah, you can almost hear it go peep down her cheek.

Oh, my God. And like, I could see you being like, Hey, my only intention was to help people with these blood tests. And, you know, I probably, Silicon Valley is all about hype. I maybe overhyped it. I maybe promised things that weren't true. To be like, gosh, I still haven't even figured out why I'm headed to jail. I don't even know what happened.

I don't, I can't figure, for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Do you have to be in that? Like, if I guess, I truly think if I were about to be sent to. prison, I probably would be living in such a delusion of just all reality, right, that must feel like you're walking through a dream going towards something like that that you never expected to happen to you. I'm just not made for prison. I know, hot take here.

I, even though everyone knows I would obviously make a bunch of friends. And we all watched Orange is the New Black. So I think we've all gone through the different, like, oh, I'd be the wrong. red, which of course I always thought about myself. Did you watch Orange is the New Black? Oh, I sure did. Every freaking minute of it. Right.

What would be your, if you're sent away to prison, what are you going to do? What's going to be your foundational cornerstone? Yeah, so that people will like you and or leave you alone. I feel like I'm on the kitchen crew. Yeah, but you don't like me, don't want to cook. You're right, I don't. You don't want to do that. I don't.

I feel like I'm going to be on the kitchen crew. I do feel like they get. Okay. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm going to be bringing in. I would maybe be, I could, I could be making toilet wine, I guess, with some people. See, this is where I feel like we together. Marketing it, getting it out there. If we could ever get arrested at the same time, that would be preferable.

Yeah. Because I feel like together we'd be unstoppable. I just really need to stay away from like the, like, Pensatucky and like the sort of skinhead girlies. Yes, you know, Jewish and there's the math. Oh, yeah, yeah, and all that stuff. I just don't think they're going to want to fuck with me. I'll make sure that you're protected, Karen. Yeah.

I mean, I want to hang out with Tasty and Poussay in them, but I don't think that I'm welcome into that group probably. I think maybe the more toilet wine you make. Yeah, maybe Poussa got really addicted to the toilet wine. Yeah, but wouldn't you if there was nothing else that you could rely on? Like, it's difficult enough. I was just talking with Adam about going to a concert where they take your phone away. I was like, what do you do? How do you?

What do you do in between songs? Like, what do you, how do you live a life if they take your phone away? You're just supposed to experience the concert? I don't understand. She got 11 years. Yeah, dude. Dude, I, for some reason. I thought she was going for like two.

Nah. Because she, like, popped out these kids before she left. Yeah, dude. And they are, I guess they really don't like it when you claim that a droplet of blood can save you. but also you might not really like it that we have to take a little break, but we'll be right back. Test your blood and we'll be right back. Are you fixed? Are you cured? Can you share it with us because we'd like some of your blood?

Thank you. Just a little bit. Oh my God. I can't wait to see this. I know. I can't wait to see it. I feel like it's going to be one of those things where you walk out of the theater and you're like, what did I just watch?

What just happened? What just happened? Are you a Nathan Fielder? Are you? Yes. And he deeply agitates me. Okay. In a way that, like, obviously, everything I watch of his, Jared will be like, let's watch

another one. And Jared hates binging. But with him, he'll be like, let's watch another. I go, I can't. I can't. Like, I can't. Really? I can't put my body through more than like two Nathan for you.

It just hurts too much. It's just too cringy. I know. Like, but I loved Nathan for you. And then what was the last one? The rehearsal. Oh, my God. I haven't seen the one with him and Emma Stone.

Oh, the curse. Yeah. So, I mean, it's, if you like Nathan, Fielder, you're gonna like it. When I watch him, I'm like, this is, he does something unlike anyone else. No one is doing what he does and he's so good, but I just, the agita that it causes me, it's like, you know, I can't watch curb, right? Oh, yeah, right.

I can't watch Curb. Like, I'm like, just tell the person that you didn't know that this was the door you were supposed to go into and this whole thing wouldn't have even happened. Like, I get so annoyed at like how it just turns. It's just communication. Yeah, it just communication. And like, I think that that is like a little bit of the same agita that I get from like him. Yes. Yes.

But I also love how he like disarms people and gets people to talk about things that are really serious to them. And like that's why what is he going to like unsheed with Elizabeth Holmes? I'm so excited about it. Now, it's something that I'm not so excited about that I just wanted a little bit of your insight on Kara. This is a this is not even that hot ticket of an article that just dropped. But Andy Cohen was just talking and he was talking to Jeff Lewis about. his hourly babysitter rate. Now Andy Cohen has two kids.

His hourly babysitter rate is $30 an hour for two kids. And I liked it because Jeff Lewis, who is a designer, he's on like flipping out, like other like HD TV stuff. He was like, uh, I pay 37 an hour for someone to watch my nine-year-old. Like single nine-year-old. Jeff Lewis said that. Yes. Wow, he's nine already.

Okay. Yes. And so this was the conversation that I just wanted, like, do you expect, I would expect, 20, 26, right? I used to get paid 25 an hour to babysit 15 years ago. I used to get 20 an hour. Okay. And like, maybe 25 if it was like somebody super rich or whatever.

I was 25 for two kids. Like when I was a nanny and then if I was doing hourly babysitting, I would get paid 25 for two kids. I felt that that was good 15 years ago. I feel like in 2026's prices, like literally Jeff Lewis was like, they can't even like, like, oh, they watch your kids for two hours and they can't even afford an Uber there and back.

Like he immediately rips Andy Cohen apart and just was just like, do you realize how much things cost nowadays? And I thought that it was actually kind of fired to go after Andy going like that where, you know, you don't want to say like, oh, celebrities should be paying at least double the price, but shouldn't they?

I mean, it's like, aren't celebrities like tipping 100% on bills and stuff too? I feel like if I were, I would be. Listen, 30 an hour's too much for me. I'm not paying 30 an hour. You're not Andy Cohen, though. I'm not Andy Cohen, but I also put my kids to bed myself and my baby sitters just sit there and watch Netflix. That's also different.

So that's kind of why I could justify paying less. But if my kids are awake and like, you know, you're engaging with them. Yeah. I do do 25. People have asked me to pay them 30, like before I've hired them. And I'm like, that's just like, that just seems like crazy to me. Like if we want to go. If they're just asleep, yeah.

But if I was like rich, yeah, I would be doing much more. Also, I wonder if he's just talking about the occasional, the occasional babysitter. Because this can't be what he pays his nannies. I imagine they have to be salaried with like. benefits and shit like that. I would expect. But yeah, 30 is pretty like cheap for him. There's not much to stay with it. Even Jeff Lewis admitting 37, I'd be like, you should be saying 40. Say 40, you know. But even then 37, wait, if you're like, like I guess now with like Venmo and stuff like that,

but it's like I think about that where it's like you know, you're like easy to pay. Yeah. What are you talking about? But I just wanted to bring that up because I thought that it was interesting that, you know, everything is getting more expensive. And I do think that somebody, especially if you're watching as celebrities kids, it's also the extra layer of like knowing that you have to protect them. Like if you're out with them and stuff like that of making sure that people don't know whose kids you have in this our day and age with all these pastors out here. Pay your babysitters enough that they're not taking photos of weird shit in your house. Exactly. I'm sure they've all signed NDAs anyway. But I would hope still. But anyway, guys, you know,

That is our, oh, we're getting through the yucky, yuckies of celebrities out there, even the yucky $30 an hour, Andy Cohen. But right now, I'd like to go to our evil list. Oh, it's spooky. And what could be spookier than celebrity sex confessions that bought property in my brain and now live there? And I like this one because it's a little bit dark. darker than our usual list. Now, Christina Aguilera

admitted that she loves to give blowjobs, calling it her best bedroom skill. She elaborated saying, what one guy might like, another one doesn't. There are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with. There are some guys who like brutal things

happening to them. She is also pro-swallowing. She says there's something to be said after you put in the hard work. I think swallowing is a good thing. and it's got a lot of protein, I have to say. I'm a promoter of the swallow. Okay, I didn't put in that hard work for nothing.

Wait, what? Like, you put in the hard work so that your reward is jizz to swallow it? I think that it's funny to put it like that. But how much protein is in jizz? I like that for her. I don't think this is a solid source of protein. That the award is the jizz. I think that the award for then is the jizz.

But I guess if it's like a pat on the back, like a job well done, I feel like, it's like, yeah, I suck you all the way. Five grams of protein per 100 milliliters, which translates. It's more than the protein chips. Yeah, I'm just saying to me, I'm eating like one of those Costco peanut butter and chocolate bars. I prefer a protein bar. Yeah, I know, I'd prefer that.

I'm not going to be doing that. If we're looking for protein intake or maybe you're looking for pee pee intake, Ricky Martin said that he loves giving the golden shower, adding, I've done. it before in the shower. If you don't know, we're talking about peeing on your partner. He says it's like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water. It's very different. I think that that actually yucks me out about feeling the inside of someone's body temperature on my skin when I'm in the shower. It's also like sort of half ass. If we're talking about a golden shower, I don't think we're talking about being in the shower. I feel like we're not

not being in the shower. People like to get pissed on. Yes. In regular bed time. Right. And that's what we're talking about. We're not like, I don't know. Sometimes I do this, but like it's right away it gets washed away. That's so it's clean. Right. And we're good. And I do think that I hope for, I hope for, you know, golden shower lover Ricky Martin. I hope that he also puts that piss on bodies when they're not just in the shower. Because you're right. I think it does take something a little bit out of it. It's just not the kink we're talking about. No. You know, like we're, in the shower, like, you know, the shower, everything's, like, clean. You could do anything you want in there.

You do whatever you want in there. So just start doing lines of blocane, but I think that that's going to hurt your blocane. Now, how do you feel... Just wet chunks of cocaine. Just try to, like, chew on it then? It's like, I guess, does this make it more powerful? Now, how do you feel about Lady Gaga's thoughts that she says, I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone, they're going to take my creativity

from me through my vagina. Has that happened? She's supped with plenty of people. I know. Do you feel that there is a faucet of sorts coming out of your vovovah that maybe spouts creativity? And if so, is it turned on right now?

I mean, I don't. Okay. I don't think that. Okay, that's good. But do you? No, I don't. I don't think that, I don't want, like, I feel like I'm not going to...

I think there's plenty of people that think they're going to catch your creativity by sleeping with you sometimes. I think there's definitely a lot in other way. That creativity is sexually transmitted, which it is not. Which it is not. God, oh, I'm glad that it's not. Oh, they'd all be sapping it from me.

Now, I'm surprised that this is, you know, I guess because the other tidbit I know about Megan Traynor is the fact that she and her husband have toilets that face each other so they can shit at the same time. Oh, my God. But also did you know that Megan Traynor publicly called her husband Spy Kids star Daryl Sabara, a big boy. She added that during sex she has literally asked,

is it all in? Only for Daryl to respond, Just the tip. And I just- Spy kids, Daryl Sabara. That mixed with the dueling shit houses, I think. It's not even just so they can shit at the same time. It's so they can look at each other while they're shitting.

Get out of here. To talk to each other. other while they're shitting. And I know that like you guys share, you know, a bathroom and you've got a lot of rubbing it in, Jackie. I've got so many bathrooms and so few people in my house. And I don't have to share the bathroom. But I, um, I don't think I'd be doing that if I had to share the bathroom. You got to keep the magic alive somehow. No. Um, how do you feel about Charlie Sheen said he lost his virginity at 15 to a Las Vegas escort paid for with dad Martin Sheen's credit card. Listen, I'm of the school where when boys are like, yeah, I had sex with my babysitter when I was

13. That's how I lost my virginity. I'm like, you were sexually assaulted. This feels like a 15-year-old boy with a grown woman who's being paid. Also, surprise that you could pay for sex work with credit. Like, I feel like back then, like, how did you even do that? Because Charlie, that's right. Well, I wonder if it was like charged to the room or something.

Well, I mean. Because you're right. Like Charlie Sheen would have been 15 in like 1980 or something, right? Yes. So I don't know how they're doing that. Or maybe they meant just like on the like whatever like put it on daddy. Yeah. Oh, daddy will take care of it.

But I guess Daddy Franco didn't do anything for you, Dave. What about when Dave Franco admitted on caller? or daddy that he had sex while on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Wait, what? He says the fucked up part about that is, I think there's cameras on every inch of that place. Yeah, Dave, there are.

He added, though, that they were pretty covert. You, how covert can you be? There's no blanket? What are you talking about? Also, that is, it is illegal, it is disgusting. You're on the pirates. Unless you're talking about H.J. Sex. Are you calling sex? Is he

penetrative? I don't. I think so, but like, I just feel like, does he get hard looking at the little dog holding the keys in his scrot? Like, is that what gets in? Yo-ho, yo-ho. Yo-ho. He's like, oh, go, yo-ho. Yeah. Yeah, man, a pirate's life we come is what Dave Franco is doing, but I think it's good because James gets all the bad shit.

Just remember that Dave Franco's out there also having sex on the Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah. And, by the way, a little movie wreck, I just saw Dave Franco's voice in a movie. be called Forgotten Island. Oh, is it good. Kids movie. I loved it. I loved it.

It's great. It's very unhinged and crazy. It's like very, you don't, I didn't know what was going to happen next and I kind of love that. Oh, okay. But also for adults as well, like a, like a. I would say as an A-lister, go check it out. My kids, like, I went with a bunch of kids, you know. And then we tried to take a picture of them outside in front of the poster, but the poster was right next to the primetime poster.

And I was like, you guys want to move over. You guys got to move over. Not prime time. We can't get the primetime poster. sir, with this big group of seven-year-old. Yeah, Chris Hanson. The kids really have gotten into to catch your predator. Yeah.

You know what this looks like, and they're all taking pictures. It is, but, man, you are going to love prime time, by the way. I can't wait. I'm really excited for you to see it, and I can't wait to hear what you've got to say about it. I literally just did, like, a few months ago, I, like, think I reported on it or whatever for my other podcast and was like, to catch a predator wasn't even on for that many years. It wasn't on for long. It's crazy how it's so part of our like culture that like, you know, at the minute you're like,

oh, what, is a guy going to walk in right now with like lube and wine coolers? Like, it's just such a huge part of, and it was like on for four years or something, like not even that long. Right. Crazy. And I, you know, it just got too close to the grabbing sun for them and they moved right along. But I'm excited to hear what you've got to say about it. But for now, that's my evil. They're so evil, Jackie.

Yeah, I know. And I know that some of the sex stuff doesn't mean that it's evil. It's just... It's just kinky, baby. And for some things like Pirates of the Caribbean, it's like, man, there's kids and stuff on that ride.

That's yucko, dude. And you, y'all know I'm a very sex positive person, but you didn't want to scroll down and get to the part where Nick Lachay said he used to wear Jessica Simpson's shoes. Yeah, the shoes. How do you feel about that? He's like, it was sort of a kinky thing we like to get into.

I'm like, that's barely kinky. you fucking piece of white toast. Barely. I feel like even him. He's in one time I put a flip-flop of my wife's on and pretty kinky. Isn't that crazy? And we used to have tuna,

chicken to the sea. Isn't that crazy? Like I feel like to him, the chicken of the sea was the craziest part of the Jessica Simpson issue. Yeah. With tuna, by the way.

If everyone remembers that on the, what is it called? The newlyweds? Newly weds. Newly weds. Nick and Jessica, newlyweds. Was that back when you were working

for? MTV. Oh, no. Way before. That was way before. Oh, okay. Sorry. I'm not aging you. You know, I'm just saying I wish. Right. That was the golden age. Oh, the golden show rage. Ricky. By the time I was working at MTV, honestly, like, Jersey Shore was in its like revival. And I was like, why? Still is, babe. You know? Still is. Family vacation.

Oh, my God. Snooki is coming out with some sort of paranormal reality show. God damn it. Oh, my God. It's like a fucking ghost in here. I know. I think it's going to be great. Oh my God. That's hilarious.

Okay. Should we get to our Who's the Bitch Corner? Yes. All right, everybody. Don't forget, you can still send us voicemails. Bitch to us. Dms. Yes.

Emails. Go to Who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. And we do love to read them here on our Who's the Bitch Corner. Okay. Hello, ladies. I love the show and hearing both of your opinions. Jackie, I listen to page 7 every week. think you're amazing. Kara, I love hearing your thoughts on parenting and children. I'm glad you do,

because I don't. No, I'm just kidding. I have a low-stakes situation. My office shares a bathroom with a few other offices that work on the same floor of our building. Okay. There are three stalls and a small entrance area with a mirror and small counter to the side of the sinks. A woman from another office sets up shop every morning in the bathroom to do her morning routine. And I am talking the whole routine. all her makeup is out and she styles her hair with hairspray. This means she's in there for a long time at the same time every morning. Unfortunately, that is also when I have to be in there. I have a morning constitutional around the same time every day,

which means I often walk into her already setting up and leave while she is still pre-being. Oh, no, it's their shit show. I do not like this arrangement at all. It makes me so uncomfortable to know she's only a few feet from the stall door and has already seen my face when I walked in. Am I the bitch for thinking the public office bathroom should be a place for bodily functions and it's not cool to hang around when you're not even going to the bathroom. You're not even going to the bathroom.

You're not even doing dumping. Bonus information. We run into each other so frequently that once when I walked in, she looked me in the eye and said, we must have similar schedules. I laughed politely and proceeded to silently scream the rest of the time I was stuck in that stall. Oh, my God. Is this a silly thing to be uncomfortable about?

Is it okay for her to use the public space for something that she should have done at home? Thanks, Mac. Now, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac attack. Look at you. Congratulations on being that regular that you could set your watch by it every morning. Good for you, yeah.

My first advice would be like, can you just like hold it for a half an hour and go after she's done? No, I think the, I mean, it depends. It's like you're like, you drink your morning coffee and then it's like, it's coming. You're regular. You're regular.

Now, I think that that is, I think it is good. I wouldn't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, I will say overnight oats has helped. It does make it a lot more of a regular thing. Just throwing that out there. But as somebody, so Kara and I do our makeup. Seriously, this kind of thing is not helping? Oh, yeah, no, you slurbaugh on a fringotini, babe.

Maybe that'll gum you up. Oh, my God. It's horrible. Even just the smell of it. And I like bubble gum. And I like it again. And not anymore. This is so bad.

Kara and I do our makeup at work fairly often. I did an hour ago. I think that for somebody, just in general, outside of your daily constitution, I would even like recommend it would be easier for her if she got or if like the office got a light up mirror that you could use, which is what we have here at the studio that I tell you helps everything. We used to gum up the bathrooms in the studio trying to put on stupid cosplay shit, trying to put on, trying to get the spirit gum to stick. But now we have little light up mirrors

that we can move that are not very expensive that you can get, that you can get rechargible ones. Yeah, but this woman works at a different office. So what is she going to do, gift this woman this and go, can you go to your desk? I bought this for you. I know what you're saying. I think I would.

I think Max's only option is to treat this like it is a fucking war. And whoa, go to the mattresses. You're going to win because you should just get in there and just let it fucking rip. Like don't try to hold your farts in. Don't try to like make it so that it like slides in. Friendly fire. I want loud plops.

I want loud. You got to smoke her out. Explode it. You got to get her out of that bathroom. Because you're no one. Because she has no reason to leave except for the fact that you are stanking up the joint. And you are not going to leave because you have to be in there at that time. and nothing she's doing is really bothering you besides her presence.

Right, and rather than putting you, and you not enjoying your full eruption that you get at the same time every day, ride the wave. You're right, Kara. I just say, like, start, like, just be, like, I understand it feels embarrassing, but at this point, it's like this woman knows you're dumping every day and she's not moving.

So you either got to make it worse, or you guys are just kind of, like, secretly... Make it worse, make it work, and you make it work. The nightmare is going to be when you're dumping every day. ever run into that woman outside of the office. Like if you ran into that woman at like a bar, and you're like, oh, my God. Listen to me, take a shit every single day.

This is the problem is I feel like, Monday through Friday. If I was going to do that, I'm going to go so the opposite direction where I'm just like, blow me down. Shiver me timbers. Like, I feel like I'd be screaming as I'm trying to like hold on at where it's like I'm going to be erupting off of the toilet. You're like, you could be like, oh. Like, I don't know.

You could start like really like. Like, I don't know, try to fucking gross her out and be like, hey, if you don't want to hear that again, I'm usually done by about 930. If you want to start rescheduling your like primp time. Just start saying better out than in. But I don't think we can say that like the bathroom is reserved just for people taking massive dumps. Like it is also for people that want to fix their makeup. Yes. And I get that she's taking too long, but like what if her commute is like two hours long?

And this is like she has to clock it. This is the only time she has. She's got to get her kid to daycare. We don't know what people are going through. I also just think that we're all human beings. And sometimes you hear somebody taking an ungodly shit. I just think that that's. And if I didn't want to hear it, I would get my own little makeup mirror.

And I wouldn't be in there anymore. See, I don't drink coffee so I can hold it. And like when people are like, no, I got like, Jared, not to flame him out here. But he's got to. When he's got to go, he's got to go. Let's get into it. You know, he's got to go. Like I'm like, oh.

A bit of a shit my story is. I'm like, I could go, but I could also wait an hour. Like, I don't know. Okay. You know. Well, you're a vegetarian too. It's the pellets. Yeah.

You and you're all your rabbit poops. Nothing's coming easy for me. Let me tell you that much. Also, is there a way you could investigate a bathroom on another floor? A bathroom. A secret bathroom somewhere else. Yeah. I don't know.

Start spreading your shit. Like it's Nick Cannon's go. Let's get the plans. Let's get the floor plans for that office. Okay. That office. We got to. Because.

Because it is, I just feel like you are, you're there to do what you can't do anywhere else. She can do it somewhere else. However, in the absence of a light up mirror, it is the only brightly lit mirror place where you have to go and like put your makeup on or whatever. Yes. And I think sometimes could you, you know what you could do if it makes you feel better? Put on some videos. Put on some white boys. Like just start, like place a bullshit on your phone.

We're big band music. Just like really early. Really wake everybody up. Yeah, circus fairum. Start throwing out circus peanuts at her from inside of a stall. I mean like, I don't know. Where are these are coming from? Yeah, you're right, Kara.

We must be on the same schedule is a wild. I imagine she'll like try to high five you too. We must be on the same schedule. Does she? got to also know, does she know, like, have you been having to be like, I'm just going to spurt it out a little bit? Or does this person definitely know that you're taking Mondo shits every morning? Gotta know. Got to find out.

And remember that, man, it's talking about being raised on television. Got to go, got to go, got to go right now. Got to go, got to go, got to go. Remember that commercial? Yep, I sure do. I always used to be scared. I don't want to got to go that fast. Oats.

But, you know, that's our who's the. bitch bitching for today. That's all we got for today. I just wanted to give you one. I wanted to give you one. But please mark your calendars. We're going to be doing a bitch-a-thon on October 22nd. Is it 22nd?

Yes. It's going to be Halloween bitch-a-thon. We're going to have some spooky guests. We want people to call in live. We're going to be drinking buzz balls. We've got to get my regular buzzball flavors back in the rotation because I cannot with the shit. Oh, you can't with the teeny? I can't.

Oh, it's just a little teeny whine. Come on. Carol. No. Sounds like somebody's scared of giving in to the gum, but not here. We love showcasing them all. I'm talking about my teeth gums. Thank you so much, Kara.

And thank you everybody. You know, I'm glad that we took until our third episode for you guys to make sure that we weren't just going to be talking about ODs and assault every single time. No, we're talking about, you know. Yeah. sex and poops and it's all different kinds of things. And listen, were there other stories about traumatized children of Bravo? Yeah, there were. We didn't go through them today.

Yeah, and you're welcome, everybody. So there's that. So thank you all for coming and hanging out and seeing the starker side of seven fucking almost screwed it up too. It's just so hard you want to say soft. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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