Page 7 - Dark Sided - The Love Has Transferred

Episode Date: October 9, 2026

It might be the 4th time, but it's always the first time here on Page 7 Dark Sided and the news just keeps gettin' more dystopian and dark as we go! Kelly Clarkson appears to live and die by her AI waifu which causes disappointment all around. When life gives Dakota Johnson a bowl of limes, she LIES, and that's startin' to melt Jackie and Kara! Kara can't do 31 for 31, but she's all ready to talk 'bout Christa Pike! There's supposedly a celebrity assistant that's bein' used as a cosmetic surgery test dummy, and who do you think the celebrity might be?!  Speakin' of plastic surgery, it's everyone's homework to watch 'The Swan: Behind the Mirror'! Then we got a rage inducing EVIL LIST of 'Celebrities Who Were Convicted Of Horrible Crimes, But Still Managed To Have Careers' and we're lobbin' BLINDZ back and forth! PLUS SO MUCH MORE!!!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See the darker side of seven. We did it everybody. First time. First time, except it's the third time. Welcome everybody to dark-sided. Page 7. Dark-sided. I'm your host, Jackie Zabrowski.

And I'm your other host, Kara Klink. Oh, thank you guys. I'm so excited that the world just keeps giving us darker and darker stories that we can bring to you every week. Every week. We are talking cosmetic surgeries galore today. We're talking, ooh, that ice queen, Dakota Johnson, but maybe I'm warming up to her. And I think we're probably going to talk about Kelly Clarkson talking about chat GPT being her lover.

And I think it's sad. And I think maybe we can hear a dark side and say officially that that's a sad thing to say, especially when we all know that your ex-husband died not that long ago. and I just feel like this is not, you know, it's like, oh, so it's good. It's really great for you, Kelly Clarkson, that you are just out the gate being like, I love AI, and it's good that I am all alone so that I can use this AI to just make me feel better. Is, I didn't, okay, okay, okay, I'm going to admit right now, I didn't know the lover part of it. I just heard her on a podcast admit that she loves to toy around with,

chat GPT and it's so fun and she's obsessed and that the only time it becomes not okay is when it comes for her own personal industry she's like I love it so much it can do anything it wants except if it comes for pop music and then I rage I'm like what are you talking about that's like that's so uh the hyper individualism of this world but mostly this country yeah is like I love this because it doesn't affect me but when it starts to affect me I hate it like that's I hate it. It really is. That's why I think of all of it. And we got into a little bit on page seven, but I feel like what truly makes me the yuckiest out is the fact that she referred to it as her lover. And I know that she was being, I love Kelly Clarkson. I really do. I, Kara, I am that basic bitch that I love me a Kelly Clarkson.

I love, I'm a Kelly Clarkson stand. And I also, I know friends that have worked with her before that have talked about, how wonderful she is to work with, that like she really loves being around her kids. She's very involved in their lives. She's a really good person to work for. But this is where it stops. I just feel that if you're a good person to work for and you want to continue being known as that,

then maybe you shouldn't be getting rid of people's jobs when you can definitely pay to have those jobs taken care of. I'm sorry, even if you think it's just fun, Kelly Clarkson could be paying somebody to do what she would look like in the 80s, to draw that. Pay your artist to do it. With Photoshop and it would look a lot better than AI crap. There's no way that you as an artist, I mean, whatever,

she's not a visual artist, but still, it looks like shit. AI looks like shit. And then she's like, it's so great. I'm using it to make digital plans for my home renovations. Hire a person who went to freaking college or that struggled for an internship to learn how to do home renovation or design or whatever the hell. the journey of a interior designer. But I know that that's because some people

go need them anymore. If we're just using computers to do it. So exactly. And it's one thing I understand people use it to dilly dally around to like get the ideas of things to send off to other artists like as an inspiration. I get it. We all understand the ways in which but it is yucky coming from somebody

that can definitely afford to pay the proper people to do the things that she needs to do. And apparently in this interview, she also like doubled down on it and did it so, and talked about it so much. It's like, lady, this is like stuff you should be telling your friends. I wouldn't go on podcast telling everybody how obsessed you are with AI. No, because actually it's funny that you bring that up, Kara, because I do have some friends in my life that are very pro AI, that I, that talking and they are different artists. And I'm not talking about people that use it for actual like generative art. I'm talking about people that use it for lots of other things that keep telling me over and over again.

And I understand there are really great reasons for some AI out there. But I do also have some friends that are like, you're left behind, left behind as an artist, left behind as an artist. Then I'm going to be back here with a bunch of other gaggle-doers. And I'm going to be happy back here. They said no child left behind, but all comedians left behind. And we're fine with it.

They're using AI to, like, this comedian posted that somebody made AI of a woman doing his joke and she's wearing the same color shirt as him and she's doing the same joke as him. But they just like took his joke and morphed it into like a hot girl saying his joke instead of him. It's interesting. Honestly, we talk about this a lot in the world of Romanticy that even in, you know, we're working right now talking with people that are working on a documentary just about Romanticy in general. and also just how many that there are the growing number of male identifying authors that are writing under female pen names so that they can get their romanticcy stories out there. But it is like- Because nobody wants to hear a man's version of romance. Nobody does, even though they also can write it too. I don't think there's room for us all. But it is interesting that in a female-dominated primarily field that they are just still trying to horn their ways in.

J.K. Rowling and I mean, not to conjure her, not to conjure that witch's name, but like the same reason that all these women used to do that because books by women were not taken seriously. They had nail pen names. Right. Right. It also, man, it was crazy. We're at Halloween horror nights and we were walking through the Harry Potter section because you had to get through another scare of like scare zones. And they just, you know, I know that the death eaters are scary to some. But when you're walking through Halloween horror nights and people are coming. after you with chainsaw. And then I got I got J.K. Rowling's death eaters like, clipping around with their magic. And I'm a magic ass bitch. You know I love me some magic. But it

just looked stupid and especially in a world where I didn't even want to walk through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? But I understand that doesn't... It's ruined. It is ruined for a lot of us. But I'm not saying that you can't enjoy it. It's just, I don't want any of the... I feel like it would have been

scarier if it was just people dressed up like J.K. Rowling just being against trans rights. Like I think I would be way more scared of actual J.K. Rowlings coming around being like, Pip, Pip, I wrote it in a coffee shop. And it's like, yeah, we know you wrote it in a coffee shop. Anyway, Kelly Clarkson, I still like you, but I do not agree with any of your takes about AI. She wants AI music to be on a different chart. I'm like, do you think they're actually going to do that? They're not going to do that. No. You're going to be an AI chart. It's just, it is very funny that I guess in this day and age, you know, we all are out here trying to have hot takes about stuff. It's just not really the take Kelly Clarkson.

No. That really that we're looking for right now. It's confusing many people, including myself. Yeah. What's also confusing me, and I think you, is Dakota Johnson and our feelings. because I have said online and possibly on a podcast that she has the charisma of a toenail, clipping.

I was about to say, oh yeah, I was to say clipped or, okay, great. Because a toenail can be interesting. Sure. But no, just a clipping. It tells a story. Just a sliver. But I'll be honest,

everything I see about her in real life, I like her. I don't like her acting. I know, man. She should be an influencer. She should just make videos where she's talking about or a podcaster.

Honestly, I think she seems funny. That's why she's, I think that's why I love her so much is she would never do that. You know why? It's beneath her. And she wouldn't do that. Why would Dakota Johnson do that? Now, that reaction, you'd think, yuck. But you guys know that I, you know, I love Mariah Carey.

I love anybody that is going to be a diva through and through. And I'm not even necessarily saying that Dakota Johnson is a diva per se. She's kind of just like a netball with no fucks. She's an ice queen. Yes. And I love, oh, I melt for an ice queen, baby. I love when they look down at me with disgust. And I go, yes, ma'am, anything you say, ma'am, you're so right and you're so scary.

I mean, do you think ice queen like, I guess I think of ice queen more like a someone who seems like mean, she just seems like unaffected to me. She doesn't seem like mean, although I know. she, like, did this Saturday Night Live sketch where she played, like, the mean girlfriend or whatever. She's very good at playing the mean girlfriend. But, like, her as a person, I'm like, she just seems like she's like, whatever. I don't know.

Like, when she was like, that's not what happened to Ellen. I mean, I'm obsessed with when she put Ellen in her place. I mean, it's perfect. I love her architectural digest tour where she was like, I don't know, it's a bowl of lemons. I don't know. It's a bowl of lemons. I don't know. Like, I don't know.

Like, I just like, you know, she just doesn't care. Because they did ask, like, why do you have all of the whole bowl of limes? and she's like, it's both times. Yeah. I, you're right. She is unaffected. You're completely correct. So, like, I don't never necessarily think,

because I don't normally respond to people that I think are going to be, like, mean to me. Maybe that's what Jackie likes. Uh-oh. It's why I'm married to a man. There's something, like, funny to me that, like, with Dakota Johnson, because she is kind of, like, a nepo, and she can be the worst actress of the world.

She's going to kind of keep Maggie stuff, and I don't think she gives a shit whether anything does well or not. Like, you know what I mean? No. No. Are you a co-host, Ann? Are you a Colleen Hoover? Oh, no, I've never read Colleen Hoover. She's the one that wrote Verity, that Dakota Johnson.

And it ends with us. And it ends with us. Yes. So it is also, so different story, different bitches. So the reason Dakota's on everyone's mind is because she's in this movie called Verity with Anne Hathaway, right? Correct. Which is a psychosexual thriller. Erotic thriller.

What's it about? I don't even know what it's about. Like, I don't know anything about it. and then one of the ladies moves in and like she starts like fucking on her husband and then I think they start like fucking on each other or something. I don't know if I just made that up or if that's just what my dream of what the movie is about because that I'd watch any day. And it's hard because I have a husband that is not into either one of them erotically.

And he's like, I don't want to go see this movie if I'm watching two clickety-clack slam each other. You know what I mean? Yeah. but I like watching the clickety clacks dance. You're down with that. Yeah, you're down. I'm in. I'm totally down.

I mean, I don't know. I think I saw like one preview, like half of it. It was like, oh, that looks, but it was too. I keep thinking it's about AI or like something on the internet because my kids started one time, like a couple weeks ago, they just started going, hi, I'm Verity. Ask me anything. I know everything. And I was like, what is that?

Why do you guys keep saying that? They're like, it's like from something. They don't know. Somebody just taught them at school. It's from a. Roblox game, which I'm against my kids will never see the light of Roblox. But it's from some Roblox game where I think there is like an AI type person that's like, hi, I'm your like guide, very, I had to Google it to find out what it was.

So now whenever I hear of this movie, I think I'm watching some, I think Anne Hathaway is getting her subconscious uploaded to Dakota Johnson. And really, I think it's just like two babes. Fucking. Yeah, I think it's an erotic thriller of like a stay away from my husband, but don't stay away from me. I think it's more in that direction, which. Sign me.

Is one of them a nanny? I'm confused. Anyway, let's move on. What's our next? Writers? I think that they're writers, but I am, I really, I almost want to go see it,

but I don't know if I'm actually going to bring myself to do it. Now, I, you know, we talked a lot about over on Second Helpings, about 31 for 31. We know Kara here is not a big horror fan. Now, but I did watch something. I watched something.

for a Patreon episode of... Do you want to talk about it? Because it seems like you were traumatized. What did you watch? It was... I can't talk about it because I have to talk about it on the Patreon, but I did watch Drag Me to Hell and I was very, very...

Very, very not having a good time. What scared you the most? Like, do you actually get scared or do you get yucked out? It didn't scare me. It made me sick. Oh, it makes you... I was like grossed out by it. Uh-huh.

Okay. So that's why you're fine with like ghost stories, but you're not into gore? Yes, but if I am going to watch horror, I'm way more into like a slash, like a real, I'm way more into the non-paranormal. I'm more into, you know, obviously, I'm into like, there's this fucking psycho on the loose or who's killing all these people or whatever. She loves this stuff.

That kind of stuff, you know. Who is it? Oh, my God. It's the wife, you know? Yeah. Or it was the pastor? I'm not as into, I've been possessed. I just feel like I've seen it so many times and I don't know what they keep doing that's different.

Gotcha. But I, I mean, it's done in many different ways, Kara. They keep doing it though, and people get getting so excited. And I make Jared tell me all the plots

and I go, what's the plot? He goes, well, these kids find this thing and it's a demon that gets inside of them. And I'm like, so just kind of like that movie you just told me about a couple months ago and he's like, yes, but it's different. Of course it's different, Kara. Oh my God.

You see, this is the craziest part. It's a lot of fucking demon possession. You get all yucked out. I know that you get yucked out. It's funny because you and MJ are very similar. also dislikes supernatural, which is you're both the opposite, the antithesis of me. I'll watch anything with a vampire. Is there any kind of any sort of magic or power or anything in there?

I'm going to watch it. I'm going to read it. But I was excited because, oh gosh, where was I going with this? I had something really, I'm so sorry. Oh, that's what I wanted to talk about. Oh, 31 something. Yes, I was talking about 31 for 31. And it's crazy to me, Kara.

Oh, yeah, it's 31 days of Halloween. Yes, 31 days of October. And so we have our 31 for 31. I posted it over on page 7 LPN. So go check it out if you want to see my individual, like, Jackie's 31 for 31. And I just think it's fascinating that Kara can't handle vampires or gore or stuff like that. And yet, when I asked what you wanted to talk about today, you definitely brought up the woman that they attempted to murder twice on death row,

but you're going to have to hear about what we think about it after this sponsored ad. Should have killed her. We're back. And we're back. Obviously. Probably should have done it right, right? This one, okay, so you don't know anything about it.

You don't know this story. I just think it's funny because Gara is so into just depraved true crime that you brought this up. And I had heard tale of it. But my algorithm is so different right now. If you guys remember my, um, me screaming last week,

it has just been in a different place. So I haven't been getting so much this, the updates of this death row. But now it was the second time that they tried to kill her and they didn't do it. Okay. So this sounds just like an SVU, but, but because it,

I thought I knew this case, but I don't. Hit me. Hit me. So this girl, Krista Pike was 18 and, and her and her friends lowered this other girl into the woods and killed her. And I think,

you know, that happened. And that happened in Knoxville, Tennessee. Okay. So she got the death penalty. She was sentenced to death in 95. You know, as usual, she's been waiting to die for, what, 30 years or something?

The Tennessee Department of Corrections tried to give her the lethal injection twice, okay? and she survived it. They gave her, it's like a, is it phenobarbital or something? It's, um, yeah, they gave her the, this, um, shot two times and she survived. And she's been in a unconscious state, but she just woke up as we were starting to record. I was like, we got to talk about Christ stuff.

Oh, really? Oh, that's why you brought her up. I sort of woke up. She's awake. She's conscious and she's talking. And I just kind of want to know like, yeah, if you. beat the game, do you get to keep staying? Playing? Yeah,

like, I feel like if it's twice, then it's like, well, then we let her out, then we let her lose. I feel like, also, I mean, you know, I think that we're not going to get into how we feel about the death penalty here. Which is not good. I don't feel great about the death penalty. I also don't feel great about the death penalty.

So I do feel that, you know, she's been in prison since 95. I do feel that a lot of rehabilitation can happen. A mistake you make, when you're 18 to be in jail for 30 years. I mean, I think that Tennessee is very eye for an eye or whatever with this stuff.

But like, obviously, I feel horrible for this family lost their love. What are you doing twice and it doesn't take? Dog. What are there bubbles in it? She is the only person known to have survived a complete execution attempt in the United States.

I think that then she wins. I think you're right. I think then she gets to leave. Or you get to like choose what. Choose your own adventure. Maybe. Maybe she has to go back to spin a wheel or something? I don't know what happens. It's like win a raffle or at least be entered into one. I feel like there should be something besides just being sent back to death row. I feel like there, I wish that there was some way that she could, you know, I don't know, like sue the system and rise, but you know that that's not going to happen. We all know that that's not what's going to

happen and it's just sad. And see, this stuff I think brings me. Oh, wait a minute. Sorry. What? She didn't wake up? No, she did wake up, but I just read a detail of the murderer, which is that she beat this woman with a large piece of asphalt and kept a fragment of her skull as a souvenir. So I think maybe we got to keep her locked up. I think maybe that might be somebody that can't be around other people. But I think you don't get that you don't get executed anymore. The execution's off. Right?

It's off. We tried twice. It's off. I feel like at that point, I would assume. that she's a different level. Like, she must be an angel. Only an angel will give someone with asphalt like that and keep their skull as a gift.

The skull fragment really turned me. Before the skull fragment, I was like, let her out. Let her out, yeah. I want to see her on, I want to see her on Rodeo Drive doing a shopping spree. I wonder what she kept. Like, do you think that you keep the, like, the nose hole? Like, do you keep something, like, specific?

No, I think you get, like, that circular place where it. Oh, a nice flat plane. that you can use it. The nose hole would be hard to get a wrap, to grab on the tone. Lower jaw. Oh, see, you're right. That's what you take. That's what you take.

You don't take a piece of the skull up here. You take that full jawbone. This is such a dark conversation. I mean, it's dark-sighted. This is dark-sighted. After you murder someone, what do you keep? I just, I understand, like I get teeth. I understand, you know, we were, we were just watching the history of concrete

yesterday, which is John Wilson. What's that? I think it was on the history of concrete. The history of concrete where they were talking about saving people's tattoos on skins. It was. And it was talking about like a full line of like morticians, I don't line of morticians, but a mortician owned business, I believe, that saves people's skin so that they can save their full tattoos so that you can like preserve a piece of them.

Of a loved one that dies? Yes. Yeah. And at first I was like, oh, that's awesome. And then I was like, that's cool. That's crazy. Don't photographs work? We need the skin.

I mean, you know, I think a photograph of the tattoo is probably enough. Or do you take it and turn it into like a journal or something? And then it's like, oh, it's Jeff's journal, you know? And I'm just like touching the skin. Like, I'm already scared enough. because we had a glass friend of ours take like make a glass version love you adam different adam make a glass version of our hands holding each other's hands and when he first gave it to me it's this beautiful piece of art and all i just immediately burst into tears because all i could think of was someday when he's dead i'm gonna look at this and remember how he held my hand and it's like i am this is such a this a problem you guys are so in love and we're so I'm so don't have two children because I joke about this all the time. We're so in love.

That, like, I used to be like, I haven't heard from him in like an hour. Do you think he's okay? Like, he hasn't texted me. Like, what if he's dead? And, like, now I'm like, why haven't you picked up your phone, you dumbass? Like, you know, like, I just, the love, the love has transferred. It's just the love is transferred. The love and the care.

I care, I care, but I'm willing to wait a lot longer before I imagine his death than I used to be. But I was so with you. I was so right there with you. I was like, one day we won't be to get. The thought of him dying used to really make me upset. And now I'm like, I'd have to do so much paperwork. Oh, my God. Oh, man, especially with the kids.

Oh, my God. I mean, I'm knocking on what. I don't want him to die. Talk about how sexy you find my husband. I'm sad because I was trying to post pictures of Jeff's new slutty little glasses on the page seven social. Slutty little freak. He got slutty little glasses and he's my little Jonathan Bailey now.

But he would let me post the pictures of it. I was like, you're so hot. in the slutty little glasses. He's like, don't close pictures of me. What if I get a picture of Jared and his slutty little readers? He has readers that we buy a target. And I'll get a picture of him and then we'll do a double post so that Jeff doesn't feel stupid because our kids are kids, our boys will be together.

Our boys will be together and their slutty little glasses. And thank you for saying that because I- Dark-Sided sluts coming to a social media account near you. Isn't it nice? It's not just us. We all are sluts here at Dark-Sided. Flut it up. Wait, we need to talk about you now.

I just told you about Krista. You need to tell me about this celebrity assistant. I am so sad because we don't know who it is that they're talking about. But I want everyone to leave their comments. I'm dying to know what you guys think. A celebrity has allegedly spent $800,000 turning her assistant into a cosmetic surgery test dummy. And people are understandably horrified. Now this is coming.

I want everybody for next week. I watched like the first 40 minutes of the Swan documentary. Yes, we're going to watch the Swan Doc for next week. Swan Do you watch the Swan? I know I'm sure we'll get into it more next week. I think I watched a little bit of it. And then obviously whenever I think about it, I think of how Law & Order SVU had an episode with,

oh no, wait, it wasn't even Law & Order SVU. I think it was CSI. There was an episode with Elizabeth Berkeley playing the Swan. Really? Right? Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm writing down Elizabeth Berkeley as a swan because I want to look, I want to look this up because the swan was a reality show from the early, from 2004 that came out our prime years of being traumatized. Okay. I remember this was definitely in my time period of I was way more into like real world and and road rules and more of that kind of stuff. So I never really got into the swan.

But now watching this docu-series, even the first 40 minutes, I realized I actually had watched a lot of The Swan, and I think I just blacked it out of my memory. Wait, Elizabeth Berkeley? It was without a trace. It was the show without a trace. Elizabeth Berkley plays a former contestant of a show called The Swan. So she's the after, right?

Do you get in trouble on that's messed up if you think that you're remembering an SVU episode, but you're actually remembering another true crime shows episode. It's never happened. It's never happened. I've never been on that and been like, and thinking about somebody else, it's never happened. There was this episode, oops, I'm talking, I don't watch that many shows. And what's crazy is I probably only see a dozen without a trace episodes in my life, but one of them is this swan one. And so whatever I think of the swan, I go, was that hosted by Elizabeth Berkeley? I just like morphed them. Oh, you morphed them. Yes. I watched it for sure when it came out. And then I think even a part of me,

into it a little bit was like, I can't watch this. I can't. This is too much. I think that I, like, now that I'm watching back the beginning of it, I'm realizing how much I had watched and how much I had ingested and realizing really what it also did. I mean, it really screwed up the women that are part of the show. Dude, the doc has got to be, the doc has got to be eye-opening and probably very unsettling

because even the America's next top model, like Netflix show was like, oh yeah i forgot that they would just bring them to the dentist and be like lie down and like pull a bunch of their teeth out or like give them quick dental surgery this is a modeling show this is the craziest i mean not the craziest part because i only watched the beginning of it and i'm excited we're going to talk more about it next week but specifically they said that what they could do they were able to put the women under anesthesia for up to 10 hours so they had 10 hours of them and then And they would like tag team them doing as much plastic surgery as they could in 10 hours. Multiple people were like working on the different.

So they could craft. This is going to be a nightmare. It's. I can't wait to watch. I guys, it's horrific, like just horrific and even worse than you would expect. And I, and this, and I'm saying this as a person that is pro plastic surgery. I feel... Yeah, I'm pro.

Do what you got to do. Obviously, I'm not pro non-consensual plastic surgery, but this is also part of the reason why I'm bringing this up in this sphere in talking about this celebrity that had spent $800,000

turning their assistant into a cosmetic surgery test on me because here's the thing. You get hired as an assistant, and then you're also going to get a bunch of plastic surgery, and this person is, trying it out for themselves,

which I find fascinating because every body is different, so no body is going to take any certain procedure the same way. But what she is, or excuse me, what they are doing of this celebrity, how dare I am assuming it is a woman. No, it says she.

It says she sends an assistant. This, okay, so the subhead of this article is she sends the assistant who's the same ethnicity as her, same features, but still. The assistant gets it done, and then she goes and gets it done. to me, them even mentioning that they're the same ethnicity to me is like, this is a woman of color. I would assume.

Because I don't think you would ever be like, it's a white, like, I just think people don't label white people that way. I feel. They should. It is fascinating that she is getting like, she got like the Levine facelift, like the one that Chris Jenner got that everybody was like, oh my God, it's the craziest facelift. So this person. That's a million dollar facelift now.

So, and this person is paying for top. dollar procedures for their assistant. Now, of course, the reactions online people are horrified that this would happen. Well, this woman is probably given her consent. This is what I'm saying. I'm assuming that this, because this person was like openly discussing this, that this is somebody that is consenting to these surgeries. And is getting free plastic surgery. And free really good. And the assistant loves it according to this article. Plastic surgery. Like really good plastic surgery. I personally, I'm just saying, Henry, if this is something you want to start offering at LPN, I'll take it.

I'll take it if you want me to try it out. I'm just worried that Henry would want me to get like heel implants, you know, just so that I'm higher in the back than I am in the front. You know what I mean? I feel like he wouldn't. Yes. Even that I feel like is too much of an actual thing. I don't know what Henry would choose for me.

He wouldn't choose for me to undergo anything. because he knows I'm perfect. Wait, so, oh yeah, because apparently they're talking about that famous facelift, the Kim Kardashian, the Chris Kardashian, which went up and up and up in price. But I just heard Kathy Griffin on a podcast today saying that guy's a million now. Really. Well, because everybody wants it. But, wait, I don't know why people are shocked by this because it feels like they're probably friends

and this girl's been with her for a really long time and she's probably like, hey, you want to try this? Sure. I feel like you don't do this with a brand new assistant. And it does, it feels like it's more dystopian or black mirror if you're like, oh, I literally just pick up people off the street or something like that who like, you know, have no way to consent or whatever. And I like, I drug them and do the plastic surgery on them. That's more black mirrory to me. I just feel like I've heard so many horror stories of how assistants have been treated that this is not by far.

One of the worst things I've ever heard. But let's do our guesses now. the ethnicity comment makes me feel like this is Gardy B. Yeah, but I don't know if Cardi B. Because I feel like that would take too much time. And if Garty B wanted something done, she'd just get it done. You know what I mean? I feel like she also has...

This can't be that hard to figure out. Who has an assistant that kind of looks like her? That's something you have to really do research, like research on. Is this somebody that may have had bad plastic surgery in the past? And that's why they don't want to deal with it anymore in the future. We don't know. And then someone says it's got to be a Kardashian, but like... Why?

Dude, they don't have assistants that look exactly like them that I know of, but I don't think that they would want to compete with an assistant that hot. I'm fairly sure, right? And I am just putting that on them, yes. What do you think? Also, weirdly enough, usually I'm very... It also just seems kind of dumb because... Just because someone has the same coloring and, like, facial...

Like, your skin heals in a different way. You can't be sure something that looks awesome on you is going to look awesome on me or whatever. And even if we have similar features, your body itself is different. What if your body doesn't accept it? What if you rejects it? Like, what if something else has made?

This BBL looks awesome on you but looks terrible on me. And like it is just, I know of someone that had to have breasts reconstructed and someone that they knew that lots of people had really good experiences with them and then they got a botched surgery. So it's like things happen. Anything can happen.

So it's kind of a weird. It is a very obviously weird. Oh, it's weird. I wouldn't do this. I just don't think it's like as, I guess I'm like because it seems like the assistant is into it. See, because that's why I feel like that they're like are there more, is there like a nefarious undertone that I am to say like,

is it like a Tyra Banks where you're just like, well, I don't know. Like is there any level? obviously they are your boss and asking you to do something like this is going to be a little, you know, power dynamicy. Yeah. So while I also understand that's new good, I also imagine, like for me, I could see myself getting trapped and being like, well, she wants me to do it, so I'm just going to do it. You know what I mean?

Totally. Regardless of whether I wanted it. It's like you have to consider, is there a power dynamic there where when I say, hey, I'm going to need you to go get a rhinoplasty from this guy because I want to check it out. That does that girl feel that she has the power to go, no, thank you. I like my nose. Or does she feel like I'll lose my job? I'll lose my meal ticket.

I mean, I don't know. I don't. And we're not going to know. But she's been with this person for years. Also though. People can suffer from abuse for years. If it is nefarious, though, we will find out about it eventually. So I guess this is there's something that we are sending down the pipeline for the future to sniff out.

because I imagine it will come to light. It's got to be true, I'm assuming. Everybody thinks it's a Kardashian. Why couldn't it be Cardi? I feel like it could be Cardi. She loves a plastic surgery. She does. I just feel like...

I just don't know what any of these people's assistance looks like. I just feel like the Kardashians, like we even know that Chris Jenner has gotten two facelifts because she already got one done and then she got another one done. So I feel like isn't it just round? If you start plastic surgery that young, isn't it just rounds of plastic surgery, like as you get older and have to deal with it. People even say that like the Chris Jenner one that she got where she looked like insane. Within like six to nine months I think it was immediately set.

It was far. It's not gravity. It's your skin is only so. Do you have like, you know? I wish that like there was some bad stress. You're going to get a yank. It's like it's going to come loose and you're going to have to get it. Yeah.

I think so. I mean like I was literally listening to Kathy Griffin on a podcast on my way here and she was like talking about how she's had three face lips. Oh my God. if you get them, you just, it's like Botox. I mean, you can get Botox and look great, and then when it goes away, it goes away. You got to keep it up if you want to keep it up or whatever. Any of these things. Right. And honestly, we didn't even

talk about the men of plants need to be replaced every 10 fucking years. I think that's annoying as hell. That is crazy. Ten years goes by way quicker than you think. You've got to go under the knife every 10 years and get those babies out. If it makes you feel better about yourself and your body, go for it. But like, that's a lot of fucking maintenance, I think. It is. And especially

over time and with new things too of like, they're like, this one's going to last forever in the body. And then three years later, you're like, man, now I got lumps and sauce. What am I going to do? All my lumps are all different lumps now. And nobody wants that. I don't want my lumps to be different. But do you want your list to be evil?

Oh, we're already at the list. Yes, and you're going to have to wait to hear what's on the list. It's spooky. It's evil. But you won't know until we're back from this sponsored ad. the ghost wrote the ad. And we don't know what was in it and I'm scared about what they're letting them

communicate to the people, all right? But I guess just buy whatever they want and the ghosts will leave you alone. But how do you feel about Meredith Marks's facelift? Because I feel like everybody keeps talking about how great it is. But I think that I now don't see a difference.

See, that was one of the first people's like Lisa on Real Housewives of Salt Lake had, what is it called? called threads, I think. I think it's called like a thread. Like Twitter? Like Twitter? Yeah, like, like the new Twitter. I think it's called a thread facelift or something like that and it just like kind of lifts everything up but then like everyone's like

oh my God you got to get it because it's super I don't think it's super invasive. I don't think it's like a full I think it was like a quick healing period and then but then I think it's like you gotta it doesn't last for it. You got to hoist it. You got to get up behind it. You got to have somebody put their foot behind your neck and just

tight. Oh yeah, it's called a thread lift. It's a minimally invasive non-surgical procedure that uses

temporary dissolvable sutures to lift and tighten sagging facial skin while stimulating natural collagen. I mean, I'm not trying to do an ad for this thing.

No, just get in a binder clip. All these women did it and we're like, they're like, you look amazing and then it's like, it comes back down.

And then, listen. I mean, Angelica Houston, I love Angelica Houston, but I'll never forget. It's my never-forget. get when her face went south. She had had plastic surgery done. The plastic surgery was not good. Her face looked like it slipped off of her face and into her neck. It is now fixed. But for a while, I remember years ago, I was like, oh, I'm never doing nuns of that. That's scary. I don't want it to

soup down my neck. And then all of a sudden my face is on my breasts. I talk about all this stuff like I will ever be able to afford any of this plastic surgery. It's nice to dream, Carol. Let us all dream, guys. And we're dreaming about the list because we're talking about celebrities who were convicted of horrible crimes but still managed to have careers. Oh, does this one have Matthew Broderick on it?

I bet it does. I'm sort of obsessed with him. There's always these kind of what's crime. His crime. This, you know, maybe this came up because I had watched the Mark Wahlberg movie by any means. And I was reminded of

what Mark Wahlberg did in real life that he is now apparently apologized for and he blamed drugs for, but still. This list is going to make me mad because it's going to be mostly filled with men who haven't taken accountability. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like Chris Brown, who's out there. He's still doing it, man.

He's still on tour. He's still on tour. He got that government award a couple weeks ago. So don't worry. If you were worried about how Chris Brown and Usher's tour is going, it's going just fine. And he just got a congressional medal of honor.

Some kind of from, yeah. And also I just want to remind everybody with Chris Brown that he did, just a reminder crime on the day that Chris Brown and his then girlfriend Rihanna were both scheduled to perform at the 2009 Grammys. He reportedly choked her, bit her, hit her, and tried to push her out of a car. This is not, he pleads guilty.

He was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community labor. and this is not the last time that there are charges brought up against him. He has so many more charges. It's insane. It is, so it's not like, oh, he's rehabilitated. Nah. And it's no good. He just won best R&B album in 2025 a year ago.

Guys, you know, this is, it's a, we can get that like there are like the army hammers out there, right? That we really did push to the outer edges of the zeit. as much as we could. Don't worry. He's still hanging in there. He's got a podcast. But then there's people of like, you know, on this list, director, I mean, it's an oldie, but a Grady, I guess. Director Roman Polanski reportedly met up with a 13 year old girl alone for a photo shoot drugged her and then raped her. And, uh, Polanski just, you know, he faced six charges and he was indicted on six felonious counts, but he made a plea bargain for one count of committing an unlawful sexual act.

with a minor, he was sentenced to 90 days in federal penitentiary, where he had to undergo therapy and psychiatric testing, guys. He had 90 whole days of it. So let him out. Zip, zap, zoop, he's fixed. So, yeah, I think that this list I was just wanted to share it because I, even just the fact that the list is here and that it gets made and that these lists of people, like celebrities that do crimes,

that have not gone anywhere. I like it that this stuff comes back around in the cycles to remind everybody and we all go, hmm, that's real bad. And then we continue on with our day. But this is our moment of, hmm, that's real bad for you today. Oh my God.

Wait, who else is on this list? Well, boy, George is on the list. We've got definitely Mark Wahlberg, which, again, if you were wondering in 1988, then 16-year-old, he was also 16, Mark Wahlberg hurled racial insults at two Vietnamese men and beat them up using a five-foot wooden pole on one. He was initially charged with attempted murder, but he was ultimately convicted of assault. He was sentenced to 45 days in jail.

And so also there was a separate incident that he was hurling rocks and racial insults at black children and their teacher. And then another time in 1992, he reportedly viciously. viciously and repeatedly kicked a man in the head. He's been rehabilitated, everybody. And now he works out. And then the last thing he did was saying that he could have stopped 9-11 if he was on that. He could have stopped 9-11 if he were on the plane.

And that's all that we need to remember about Mark Wahlberg. And if you were wondering why Jackie was so angrily sharing the plot of the movie by any means that was. starring Mark Wahlberg. It's because of things like this. Ay, y, y, y. You know, Mike Tyson, he was no good. He was beaten. He was ripping ears. Charlie Sheen reportedly grabbed his then-girlfriend Britney Ashland by her hair and slammed her into the marble floor. Her lip burst requiring seven stitches and she was knocked out. She claimed that he forced her to strip off her bloody clothes and toss them out and threatened to end her life if she spoke to anyone regarding the attack. The consequences at first, Sean, or excuse me, Sheen pleaded not guilty, but he later pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery with serious injury.

He was handed a one year suspended prison term and two years of probation. And he was required to pay $2,800 in fines. Oh, but he had eight counseling sessions. He's fixed. It's fine. And don't worry, guys, the evil still continues out there, regardless of whether we're continuing on with the list. Yeah, that's my evil list for you.

It's not on there. Surprisingly not on there. He didn't commit a crime. I mean, he drove the wrong way in Europe. Wasn't it hit and run? No, no, no. I don't think so. No, no, no.

But he was like driving in Ireland, I think, and he was on the wrong side of the road because they drive the other way. I remember. And then also, Nogzima, Rebecca Gayhart, they accidentally killed someone with their boat, I think. She did.

Yeah, she's got a dog. I feel like it's easier to kill somebody with a boat. And I feel like if you kill them with the boat, since it's easier, you get less time. The water's dark. They don't have the same kind of lights as cars. I maybe this is just coming from somebody that's scared of water and boats. I made up the boat thing.

I made up the boat thing. Interesting. It's just a fatal traffic accident. Interesting. That resulted in the death of a child. Sad. God, man, the anxiety dreams I have about. something like that happening of just like I just wasn't paying attention and boom you're a murderer.

I think um I think also Caitlin Jenner killed someone in a traffic accident. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. There were oh yeah. There was that one. Oh yeah. They kept the car accidents off here. The car accidents we leave off of there. I mean we're already given an opportunity for all of us to be driving around thousand pound death machines all the time. I mean it's gonna happen. What's you feeling on Waymo? You taking them? No. Okay. Hell no. I have a I have a, I have a, friends who are super into Waymo and they're like, it's safer than people. I'm not saying it's not. I'm not getting inside of it, though.

I am definitely, sadly, one of the people that when I see the, like, the food delivery robots, I call, I cat call at them. Do you kick them over? No, I don't. They have cute little faces. I know. And so that's why I'm like, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. Like, you just like follow the Waymo and just try to harass it.

And the thing is that if you're yelling at the Waymo, usually it will stop. So I do like that and I feel bad because of the people getting the food delivered, but also You mean the little cocoa's, right? Yeah, oh, is that what they're cocos. Oh, they're cocos. Yeah, Waymo's where you get in. Waymo's the big one. And then the little ones are cocos.

I think the little robots that take the food to people is called cocoa. Well, I'm out there and I am harassing them. But I'm not taking like a bat to them or anything. She's really taking like the sort of, you know. Dark-sighted? No, I think you're really taking the, um, moderate, organization of robots and computers, personally. You're like, fuck AI.

And also, I am going to roast a cocoa if I see it on the street. But here's the thing, Kara. The second we get to the point that we are all uploading ourselves into the singularity, I'm there. I mean, I will give away, like, it makes me think of speaking of Black Mirror. It makes me think of, like, the idea of just, you know, I'll live on forever in computer. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I'm okay with that. Yeah. Because then in computer, we can be young and hot forever. Yeah. And we can bang and then you can love like he used to, Kara. Go into the singularity, Kara. But this is how, again, I also am surprised that I've never been in a cult because I'm very easily persuaded. Well, yeah, you're just going to give you your consciousness, I guess.

Just hand it over. I'm handing it right on over, but it's time. What are we doing? Are we going blind? Oh, we are going blind. and we're trying something new here. We're blinding at each other. We're going to go blinding at each other.

We're blinding at each other. So you hit me first and I'll hit you second. Okay. This isn't, this first one's not that hard. The person who sells the Coke to these celebrity brothers must not need any other customers to be a millionaire. Celebrity brothers. Oh, God, the Lowe brothers.

No, we're not talking about Chad Lowe right now. Oh, so sad. So sad. The brothers, I need more. That's all I got. You need my personal hint? Yes, I need your personal hints. I mean, I don't know a single person who likes these people.

Oh, okay. So we're talking like influencer, like the Pauls. Yeah. You got it. Wow. Look at us. Out the gate, y'all. Pure hatred field that guess being correct.

It certainly did. And so they're just doing a lot of blow. I guess so, yeah. Oh, what a surprise. I couldn't be any more surprised. It was hard to find a lot of good blinds for some reason. A lot of them were like really convoluted and then I couldn't tell who they were about.

And so that's why I feel like we can we can, you know, squeench it down to one each so we get each other one good one. Well, that one wasn't good enough. I have another one. But you'd go for me. All right. I'm giving, I'm giving you one. The middle of the week actress is aware of the backlash she faces

for dating a serial abuser who's over a decade older than her. Since her family and friends disapprove of him as well, she's now taking steps to help him improve his image. She's paying for his public relations efforts to mitigate the negative attention. However, they're now attempting to conceal the fact that he even abuses dogs, despite evidence of him posting graphic images of dog cruelty. Now, I will say to you, Kara, I did not know the bad person in this. I did not know who this person was. The middle of the week actress?

What does that mean? Correct. What does that mean? Guess you're going to have to figure it out, Kara. Interesting that you picked up on that tip. Did you, Kara? What happens in the middle of the week? Wednesday.

Wednesday Adams. Christina Ricci? No. No. Close. Really? Close. The other one that plays Wednesday Adams.

Oh. The girl. Wow, that's crazy. Okay. Wow, you were only Christina Ritchie. No, no, no. I know her name is Jenna Ortega. Jenna Ortega is it.

Who does she date? So Jenna Ortega apparently is currently dating. I'm not going to say, like, Charlie Shee. Elias Rahmanfelt? Oh. I guess he is 11 years older than Jenna Ortega and just a rudimentary search of this person.

And I don't know who it is. seems like no good. Everybody's like, get rid of this guy. I believe that he's a singer. He has got past, he's been in trouble in the past for physically attacking fans. He has faced a lot of allegations about the heavy lifestyle that he, that he lives. But also, apparently they are, he's Danish. They are right wing.

and they allow shouts of Sig Heil at their shows. Cool, that's so punk rock. That's so punk rock and cool. So apparently everyone around Jenna Ortega is like, run, girl, run. And I think that we're joining them by saying, run, girl, run. Dang, okay, ready?

Yeah. Batting it back to me. Oh, yeah. All right. This is going to be hard because it's very, it could be anybody. Speaking of the casting couch, were we, were we talking of the casting couch? This A plus list actress slash producer got her first big break by hitting the casting couch and vowed to never do it again and hasn't.

I'm putting this because it doesn't, I put this one because I don't really believe that this actress would need to do that because they're quite beautiful and quite talented. Quite beautiful, quite talented Nicole Kidman. No. Okay. go a little bit younger, but you're in the same country. Oh, same country. Australian. Crazy.

You went straight for Australia. I mean, I'm just currently obsessed with Nicole Kidman and I, she can do no wrong in mine. I am even obsessed with the song. We saw baby girl together. Yeah, we did. And I'm still dreaming about it. And see, this is why we should take the boys to go see there.

Maybe we have to only go see like slightly sexual, psychosexual rom-com. Psychosexual. Not rom-com. Yeah, or thrillers. I'm into that too. So Australian, beautiful, talented Margo Robbie. Yep. Wow.

I was about to be like, because I can't think of another woman. I know that there are many famous Australian women. But actually, I know that this, well, it's kind of true. Weirdly enough, I do know because I remember Henry telling me from Wolf of Wall Street because he knew Margot Robbie. on the set of Wolf of Wall Street. And I remember him being so blown away

that she was such an amazing actress, that she was so hot, and that she told him that she was actually discovered on an Australian beach. So I guess it was kind of like a casting couch-esque. She was literally hot on a beach. Someone was like, you're hot, you should be a model, you should come in.

And so she was asked. I misunderstood this. I understood hitting the, casting couch to be like, you slept with a casting director. I think that that is what they are. Is that what this is implying? But I don't think she has to do that. No, no. She vowed never to do it again and hasn't. Why would she need to? Oh, I think it is just going to like a cat like being pulled for casting like that, I would assume. She vowed never to audition again and has never auditioned? Or being like taken by a stranger off of a beach when someone comes up to you and says, you're really hot. You should be a model and taking them

up on that. I think that is scary. I wouldn't do that. No. And surprisingly, not a lot of people are coming up to me on the beaches offering me model jobs. I know that's crazy. Hasn't happened to me in a long time. Never.

Never. But that's okay. All right. I got one all right, I got one more for you and you might get this fast. Thankfully, the faux engagement is coming to an end soon. This rocker dad has no business being amongst a crowd that skews younger, like the foreign-born former boy banders does. Everyone knows you wouldn't sign up for having such a liability in law.

Okay, wait. You fully lost me on that one. I don't, I got lost. Okay, so there's a faux engagement between two people. Okay, phone engagement between a rocker dad. No. No. There is a rocker dad in the position, in, in, in there.

Uh-huh. but not referring to the faux engagement. Oh, okay. So there is a rocker father. Uh-huh. There is a boy bander in the engagement. Okay, so who's got, who's like a rock star that has a daughter that is engaged? I'm thinking heteronormative right now.

You are, you are, and that he's a daughter. That is dating a boy bander. Correct. Oh, this is Zoe Kravitz and Harry style. It's Zoe Kravitz. Yeah, that's why I was like, it's a daughter. It is an easy one. That's why I was like, even as I was saying,

I was like, this is, I feel. And so apparently that Lenny Kravitz, which everybody knows, at least I love this about Lenny Kravitz, is that he's a good guy, okay? And maybe I just created this because Jason Mamoa was with Lisa Bonay. And I know that Jason Mamoa and Lenny Kravitz were still good friends. Oh, okay. And like, like through all of this.

Sure. And it always made me like Lenny Kravitz. And of course, do I always in forever bring up the fact that he on stage was wearing leather pants and they ripped and he was not wearing underpants underneath and his dick fell out. It's all I think about when I hear Lenny Kravitz's name. The first time I hear, I just think leather pants dick. And we'll never let anybody else forget it either. I don't say it always, but I think it.

See, and here on darksided, we are going to say it. Okay. That's what we say. Because we're, oh man, I remember. Do you think that Stiles and Zoe Kravitz are fake? You think it's fake? I don't. That's it.

You don't think it's fake. No, I don't think it's fake. I think that they both moved on quickly, and I think that that was fine. And I think- They moved on from their previous? Well, Zoe Kravitz did, right? She was with Shannie Tadam. And then who was he with before?

God, he was just with someone, and I can't remember right now. But I never, I never really got to. Soki Waterhouse? No, she's married to a Robert Pattinson. Never mind. It's understandable that we confuse them. I confuse those two. It's understandable.

But I think it's kind of funny that like, I imagine Lenny Kravitz hanging around Harry Styles where he's just like, we're just the same. We're just rockers, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Harry Seals like, yeah. Sure, dude. Yeah, we're rockers.

But I'm melon sugar. Hi. But also Lenny Kravitz. Man, he's looking good still. He's like, very, very good. Lenny Kravitz is going to be hot forever. Very, very good. He's simply going to be hot forever.

Yes, but that's your blinds for me and that's my blinds for you. Blind on blind crime. And I guess we can see again and it is beautiful. I do want to just give a quick shout out to Chad Lowe just because we said his name earlier. And I know that you talked to him on that's my stuff. I interviewed him on my other podcast and he was so sweet and he talked about his daughters and he like love them so much. And he's like a girl dad. And I was just heartbroken when I saw this art.

about how his 13-year-old daughter passed away. She, yes, died by suicide, 13. And it is, it's just so, and it is, it also just, like, in the middle daughter, too, so her older sister is writing on, on the socials, because I think her older sister is 17 of just writing about what she's going through. It is just a devastating situation. It was so beautiful and, like, and loved, and it's just a terrible. It's really just horrific.

There's nothing like, it's not like, oh, was something going to? No, it's just horrible. Yeah, yeah. So just letting you guys know if you then don't have to look into it now if you don't want to. But I loved this episode so much because we're really, I find myself, I'm getting darker. I feel, I feel myself getting darker. We're here. We're talking about death row inmates.

Oh, what? And I didn't even know about that beforehand, but it is, it's good to know about the darkness so that we can appreciate the light. The darkness that is Kelly Clarkson being obsessed with AI. That is dark for me. I do think it is dark because I really do like Kelly Clarkson or else I thought I did, but this is yucking me out to the extreme girl. Because like, honestly, everything of how she dealt with even with the kids, with like the divorce

and even before everything with her ex of like not ever talking poorly about him, even though it was really not going well. And like she was really trying to. And everything I've heard, I thought that it was, you know, guys. I just don't like this take. Maybe she'll get educated on more about what it's doing to people. Like no one can have clean drinking water and like no one likes these data centers. Yeah, exactly.

It's just. It's so fun to see what I would look like if I was ice skating in the Olympics or whatever. Yeah. And I just feel like. Now they're like, yeah, but you guys, we're going to put data centers on the moon. You're like, okay, it's just, can we just one step out of time? Sweet Jesus. Sweet, baby, geez.

It's all we're asking of you. And next week, we are going to be asking of you how you feel about the swan. Because I'm pretty sure what we've already shared about the swan is not the worst part of the docu series. Usually they hook you. It's going to get worse. It's going to get worse. We also would love to do Who's the Bitch Corner and answer some advice. So if you guys have any advice for us or situations where you're like, I need advice is what I meant.

Yes. Sorry, I don't really want anyone else's advice, but you're giving it to us in the comment section. I just mean if you want our advice on anything, email the page seven email, which is page seven podcast with a number, the number seven is there. Oh, yeah. Page the number seven podcast at Gmail. send us in an email, ask us a question about something that's going on in your life. Also, if you like me and Jackie together, we are doing a bitch-a-thon on October 22nd, Thursday, live 4 o'clock Pacific, 7 o'clock Eastern on our YouTube.

YouTube.com forward slash at who's the bee. We're taking calls live, baby. We're going to talk to you live. We're going to get the details. We want to find out what's going on. Yes. And it can be spooky. It doesn't have to be spooky.

The holiday related doesn't have to be in spooky and drinking spooky flavored most balls. Oh, and I think that's going to be the spookiest part. Frankentini, stay away from meenie. But thank you all for joining us on page 7, darksided. Thank you so much, Kara, and I'm excited. We'll be back

next week for you. Back with the darker side of 7. Whoa. If there's something you want us to talk about, let us know. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

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