Page 7 - Ep. 366: Not A Bad Bean in the Bunch

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

We're talking about WAPs, Mariah Carey's autobiography and in celebrity conspiracy corner: has Eminem been replaced by an android?Only WAPs, absolutely NO limp ol' Sallys over on our Patreon! Support the show and get exclusive weekly content - Patreon.com/page7podcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I want to be singing. We all are aware of what I'd like to be singing, but I don't want to be a fucking Ben Shapiro about it. It's obviously the other song that's been stuck in my head this week. Because you know what, guys, for some reason, I don't know why. I haven't listened to Honky Dory in a while, and I've been so upset and I realize,

why am I not listening to Hunky Dory? Which yes is my favorite David Bowie album. So, guys, It's a god-offal small affair. To the girl with the mousy hair Ooh, it's me, the mousy hair girl! But her mommy is yelling no. And your daddy is told her to go.

You've got to go! But a friend is nowhere to be seen. Where's my friend? Now she walks to a sunken dream. Oh, I'm all stinky in this dream. To the seats with the clearest view. Ooh, it looks great up here. And she's up to the silver screen.

Uh-huh. But the film is. A saddening boar. Oh, what a sniz. Oh, boy she's lived it ten times or more. What? She could spit in the eyes of fools. You're an idiot.

Oh, as they ask her to focus on sinners, fighting in the dancehouse. Oh, man, look at those cave men go. Me hungry, me need food. It's the freakyest show. Take a look at the lawman. beating up the wrong guy. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Good reference. Wonder if he'll ever know. Who's in the best-selling show? Is it a iPhone? Man. They did find water. They found some water on it.

It's just such a good song. And I was watching Hannah recently, and I was like, fuck, I forgot how good Donky Dory is. But yes, what's really in my mind is some wet, And gushy, as the radio edit calls it. Wet and gushy. Welcome to page seven, guys. Of course we're going to talk about the lyrics, at least to wet-ass pussy, this week on page seven.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Holden. My name is Molly, and I had the unfortunate because my life is such as it is that I was a little bit behind on things. and my introduction to WAP was the Ben Shapiro reading of it because my friends, my friends said that. That is the worst way. How dry did that make you? As dry as his wife, his doctor wife?

Oh my God, his doctor wife has never been wet before in her entire life. Like that's just a UTI. That's actually illegal. Actually, my doctor wife says that if you need a bucket and a mop to wipe up your pussy. then you must have some sort of a disease or some Jesus God, bro! It's so great because that guy has been such a tool shed for so fucking long. He's an absolute transphobe racist piece of shit

and to have him have this moment in the sun of being like, beat it up, N-word. Like, it's just so awful. It's just absolutely awful. And so I was like, nightmare. I saw everybody talking about WAP late one night and I was, or WAP, And I was like, oh. We had this discussion of whether it was Wop or WAP right before we started to record.

It should be WAP, but now I'm self-conscious because in my head I was saying WAP and I wasn't even associating it with. I was also saying WAP because I guess I get it. It's just how I read, I guess, a long or a short A. But yes. But so I knew that Cardi B and Megan the Stallion had released this, but I had not yet. I was like, ooh, I'm going to treat myself to like a time. when I can just sit down and watch this music video. It's going to be great.

And then my friends sent around the Ben Shapiro edit first. And I was very, very upset to have to. But then it was funny because when I got to watch the real thing, I was having the extremely unpredictable. A lot of things about 2020, unpredictable. But the unpredictable experience of hearing Cardi B's words in a Ben Shapiro filter was not something that I anticipated. No, but I will see the best.

first time we watched the music video. We were on Jackanese, our Twitch show, Holdenized Twitch show, and I about slipped out of my seat. I mean, that's the thing, because that thing was crazy. Talk about unexpected. I was like, damn, I mean, one would think, if I had heard this song about the video, I'd be like, I bet that will be a sensual video. But then the video happens, and you were like, wow, those are just some breasts.

Oh, I'm sad I missed that on the stream. I'll bet that was really Fun. Wow. We watched it like four times, I think, total. People kept donating for it, and it was just, it was very appreciated. I am, I appreciated it. I appreciated it very, very much so. And I, the outfits, everything about, I mean, it's just, I love the video.

And also, if you haven't watched it yet, please I do implore you if you were able to stop the podcast right now. Yeah. And go watch it. And just go get wet and gushy. as the radio edit wants you to do. And we were talking about this. So the radio edit, of course, the song's name is WAP, who stands for Wet Ass Pussy.

And the radio edit is wet and gushy. And I'm going to say that is 900 times more upsetting. Way grosser, way more inappropriate. Yeah, it is just not, it is just such a sign of today's censorship. You know what I mean? It's such a metaphor for it. It's like your replacement is so much worse.

So much more disturbing. We can all look back at the songs we listen to as kids. And the ones that were super sexual, they just went over our heads. And what as pussy is maybe too explicit to go over the heads of like anybody who's over the age of like nine. But like it is like I remember a friend of mine telling me that like she remembers being a kid walking around going, baby I like it raw. But she had no idea what she was. And maybe I like it.

Raw. I still sing that to myself loud all the time. And so, like, little little kids, they're not going to know. Medium-sized kids, they're going to know, but they're going to know anyway. And so, like, there is no Kids Bob version where kids are, you know, doing a school dance to wet and gushy. You know, so just let it fly. This is not going to be a song that is played at elementary school dance parties or middle school dance parties or maybe even high school. dance parties in any official sanction.

No, but if it's played at the roller rink, it gets played at the roller rink. That's how, I mean, it's just, I see, my problem is, is I refer to my vagina almost solely. I think if you guys have listened to me long enough, I refer to it as my pussy. And I always, I think that pussy is a word of power. I find that there's something about the word pussy that makes me enjoy identifying as a woman even more for me. I just, there's something about the word pussy that is. I, is mine.

It's my word. It's a great word for it too. It really describes it. Yeah. Like it's really like, it's. Why is it disgusting? Why is it bad? It's not.

And it's, right, like there is, pop music is this interesting thing because I feel like, uh, like, I feel like people of all, the whole thing about pop music is that like people of all ages listen to it and enjoy it. And like,

I love working in schools because like, that's how I usually hear. Like, my finger is so behind the pulse right now because I'm not in school, so I'm like not hearing, like, so yeah, like kids listen to pop music. But again, pop music has always been sexual and it just goes right over your head if it needs to. And if that's how you learn about things, then, all right. You know, I remember the song too close from sixth grade. I'll never forget it. I learned a lot from that song. Is it that a song? Oh, yeah. You're making it a hard for me. I learned a lot. But, you know,

I was ready. I was ready to learn a lot from that song. Everybody can learn at their own pace. And that song taught me a lot. And it really shaped my early thoughts and feelings. And that's fine. Yeah, man. My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

And I remember when I grew up and I finally realized what the song meant. And I knew that I had finally grown up. You know what I mean? I feel like that is a part of your life. You must figure out with the lyrics. Like, what does the lyric? I don't cook, I don't clean, but let me tell you how I got this ring.

It's like, what does that mean when you're 10 years old? And what means that you are a person made of magic that is able to materialize rings? Yeah, and you have a great personality like I do, yes. And also, it's about time for a fucking awesome pussy anthem, you know? I think that, like, that's the thing. Everyone's so like, ooh, whoa, whoa. But there's a million songs about slabs and knobs and rods and, you know.

You're starting to sound like Ben Shapiro. That's why I get nervous about. Slabs, knobs, knobs, robs, snobs, knobs, yes. Like corn on the cob. That is how I have heard it referred. I also, I understand that pussy is still a scary word for people. But at this point, it is kind of crazy that, media is still scared of

Pussy. They're scared of what happens down there. I feel like it's just because people that run media, people run government, don't understand how Pussies work still. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. The panic over this is not a panic over morality.

It's being framed as a panic over, oh, what if there's a sexual song that children might hear, which again is the history of pop music. Right. But what this actually is, is that people are absolutely terrified of pussies. They are mysteries to many men. And they are, they have always been framed as somehow both the object of, like, they will move worlds and people will fight wars for them, but also they're disgusting. And don't talk about it.

And you should be embarrassed about yours. But also you should know that everybody wants it at all times. It's so confusing, like we've talked about before. And you are not taught to, like, have pride in it and to, like, have confidence about it. No, that's why I buy mine scarves. I get little pussy scarves, and I glue them with safe pussy glue, and I put them all around the opening. And I go, I just want you to know that I treasure you above any other possession that I have.

And you know what my pussy knows that? And that's why I need all of the outfits that everyone wears in the WAP video. How do I get them? I don't know. But all I know is that I need a good leopard print body suit with the breast cut out and the nipples covered. The giant nipple coverings as well. Yeah.

Yeah. Put them all on there. Fantastic. If we can tag ourselves in the music video, I am Kylie. Just walking in and saying nothing. That's what I want to be the person. in every music video who just shows up and just looks great, but just doesn't do absolute jack shit.

I just want to show up. I think it's fantastic. See, and this is my favorite part is that so I'm saying myself included when I first watched it, I was like, what is Kylie Jenner doing in this music video? And so now fans are actually made a petition to remove her from the WAP music video. And Cardi B is defending her until her dying breath. And you know what? honestly, in reading about what Cardi B had to say afterwards,

I mean, it's her fucking music video. She's gonna put in it in whoever she wants. Yeah, they're friends. I don't think she did it like. The kids are friends. Random-ass people show up in music videos all the time. That's fine. What does it matter?

And then also like, you know, like Normani's in it too. People are screaming out that. And it's like, even Cardi B just kind of screams about like that this choice of Kylie Jenner being in it wasn't about race. She's like, the best part of the song is the beat and hook and it makes you want to shake your ass. That's what to her is the best part

of the song. And she's like, and she defended Kylie Jenner by saying Kylie Jenner is a model. She strutted her stuff and she opened up a door. Normani is a fucking amazing dancer. That's why she dances her fucking ass off in it. I use my friends. My friends that wanted to be a part

of it and they debuted there and they didn't debut. They showed off their talents. That's what the music video was. It was. just a celebration. Yeah. I don't have any feelings about Kylie Jenner. If anything, I like her more now that I know that she's cool with Cardi B and that their kids are friends.

I think that makes me more interested in Kylie Jenner. I will say that I think that she destroyed whatever plot that the ghostwriter of Rebel City of Indra, the story of Lex and Libya. I think whatever the ghostwriter had written, who is a well-known writer. But then the Jenner's came in and were like, no, no, no. we wanted to be like this instead. So I will say I do hold that against her. But other than that, you know,

I'm glad that their kids are friends. They both enjoy being mothers. They're both of their partners are friends with each other. Of course it's going to be the fucking video. I'm just upset because Cardi B's kid is like roughly the same age as my first kid. And so

in my head, me and Cardi B are in like a mom's group together and our kids are friends. So if anyone should be in the damn music video, it should be me, but it's fine. I was busy. So if it had to be Kylie, that's fine. I think that you could definitely get in there, though.

I think that Cardi B is definitely open to making new friends, which is part of the reason why I like her so much. Also, we have similar politics. Cardi B's trip fantastic. Her interviews are big bouncy balls all over the room. Like, you really go on a journey, but I think that she is actually super brilliant. and like just I like am a very, very big fan of Cardi B's politics and her general attitude towards life. And so I'm a big WAP fan, even though I actually, this might be an extremely controversial statement.

But in terms of like a jam, like I don't even know if it's like that much of an amazing jam, but it is a good anthem, if that distinction. distinction makes sense. But it just like gets in my fucking brain, dude. It's been in my brain for days. Yeah. I just wanted to say this right now. If Cardi B wants to dog walk me, I would gladly accept that. And I would submit quickly.

I get it. I know what I really want Cardi B to do is I want her, I want to try on fashion nova clothes in front of her. And I want her to convince me to wear them out of the house. was someone that has purchased a couple of things from Cardi B's fashion line. And then I get it and I'm like, well, this just hides half of a slump I got in my fucking underneath my breast. You know when you put on something and it smushes your breast so then your breast looks like three different breasts but not in a good way? Are you talking about underboob?

I'm talking about it's like it's the kind of thing where it's like how a monokini just shows. shows the folds of my fat on the side of my, it's like, it hides all the good stuff, but shows the folds of my fat. I'm like, well, that's the part I want to hide. Yeah. I'm trying. I'm trying to get to levels of confidence where I can wear fashion Nova clothing, but I'm not quite there. Well, I completely understand.

Every time I put on some fun bathing suit, like shorts, I'm going to just go ahead and say, uh, my penis just seems to just, um, just sort of extend out of it so much. embarrassing. That sounds like a humble bra. Are you being a J. Zedraalba? Is it like an Idris Elba where the mic is actually

it's not the penis, it's a mic situation? I'm not going to compare my penis to Egypt Elba's penis, but I'm also going to probably straight up compare my penis to Idris Elba's penis. Interesting.

My Elba has an elbow. Let's just say that. All right. But don't worry, ladies, You only wear khaki pants and you were a very sweaty person. So unfortunately, I will say it shows itself off whether you want it to or not. I got to see a doctor.

I'm so sweaty and I'm walking down the street and no one else is as sweaty as me ever, forever. I never see anyone sweating as profusely as me. I got to get checked out. But I had somebody, I know somebody who was very sweaty and they got some operation done and then it all just comes out in their hands and now they can't shake hands with people. Yeah. So I'm afraid to even go get help. Just let it go, man.

What does it matter? Just sweat it all out. I'm a big sweaty. I'm a sweaty sweat too. Yeah. My husband is very sweaty. The first night that he and I, the party that we hung out at the first time, he looked like a basketball player.

Like, it was like drops, like sweating like how an NBA player like has looks like they just came out of a pool. You make me nervous, Molly. Yeah, you do it, man, just because you're wet and gushy, and then just it flows over towards your Sunday husband. They called me wag back in high school. When you walk down the street hall, when you're sweating more than everyone else, just starts singing wet and gushy to them. And then, look at me, I'm very wet and gushy. Oh, don't Ben Shapiro in.

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, that's been Shapiro. Just start beating the fucking life out of me. Take one for the team. I'll be like, thank you. I deserve it. I deserve it. Can I give like a 10 second very quick summary of the Ben Shapiro thing?

Yeah. So Ben Shapiro, if you don't know, is like this right wing personality who's like, yeah, his whole thing is that he's like a reactionary, conservative, bigot, transphode. He wrote an anti-porn book that I guess would be a great segue into his reaction to the song. He wrote a whole book about how porn is bad. Right. He knows he watches tons of it anyways. And he's got a specific panic about, yeah, all things, sexuality, and especially, yeah, he, like, really, really has a fixation with trans people.

But, yeah, so then he did this reading of the Cardi B verses on his show and then proceeded, and it's very, very dry. It is the opposite of wet and gushy. And then he proceeded to tweet out saying that he asked his doctor wife about the line about the you need a mop. And then she said, well, it must be a yeast infection or a, you know, bacterial vaginosis or something. And thus Ben Jepiro said to the world that his wife has never had a wet pussy. She's not even, she's so happy to say that no one should ever have a wet pussy. He is so antithetical to the idea of wet pussies that she thinks that it must be some sort of medical condition. It's the biggest self-owned in absolute history to be like, my wife has never even heard of a wet pussy.

I'm a wet pussy before. I've never been down there before. But if I see it, oh, God, if I can feel it and it is slick of any means, I say, Deirdre, go get yourself some paper towels and shove them up there because I'm not getting anywhere close to that with my little limp old Sally down here that I'm going to try and shove right up

into your dry cat litter little hole. He's got a loss, a limp old Sally and she's got a black. Also, I was upset because so a while ago, Ben Shapiro was singing, lay miss as he was at like answering some mail like he was like he was answering different like letters that he received like fan mail or whatever and so he was singing lay miss so a lot of people tagged me in it which i i appreciated but then i looked at it was like i don't want to watch this

fucker re like sing and also he openly is like doesn't enjoy laymiz so fuck you stay away for my music ben ship hero or i'm gonna show you a wet and gushy and i'm not talking about my pussy. I think that means I'm gonna, that means bodily harm, but I don't actually, would ever actually do bodily harm on anyone. I think that in my brain, I meant like some sort of stab wound. But that's not my fault. I've been watching a lot of action movies lately.

And if you know what, if people can blame action movies and video games, why can't I? And I've been watching a lot of movies where pretty much everything gets solved with a dance. So I would just start dancing the night away. Just hope that one. You and your foot lose. I would love to have... No good has ever come from a dance.

That is my favorite. The real person that Footloose was based on, the John Lithgow character, is Footloose, of course, about a town that had banned dancing until the year 1980. And in America, dancing was banned in a certain city.

And the Reverend that it was based off of his famous quote was, No good has ever come from a dance. Oh. It's definitely true. I beg to differ. But don't... say that to Mariah

Carrie, guys, we must discuss that Mariah Carey is coming out with her memoir, the meaning of Mariah Carey. It comes out at the end of September, but also, she is blessing us with reading the

audiobook herself, and I am, I've already pre-ordered it. I'm a nightmare. You need us to pre-order it? Why? We can just get it whenever, right? There's no. How dare you? I It's tangible. My understanding is that pre-orders are good for the author

getting like their, like showing that they can make up like for their advance, which I don't think is going to be an issue for Mariah Carey, but. I want her to be on the bestseller list. I need her to be. I think that she deserves it. She's been through so much. She has almost nothing. That's absolutely not true.

But I have been watching her son. on TikTok lately, even though, you know, Lord knows what's gonna happen with TikTok. And it's actually really adorable because he's got, he's got, he's trying, he's only nine, I think, and he's too young really to be doing TikTok. But it was actually really cute

because there was this video where he went, he's like, oh, you guys wanna talk to my mom? You wanna, you wanna see what my mom's doing? And she was like in the middle of a phone interview. And she actually was very sweet. She's like, just a minute, honey, I'm on the phone. But like, said it in a very,

very respectful way. And I was like, oh, that's kind of nice as a little glimpse into how she actually talks to her children. That is nice, although it's very weird to think that if you have a nine-year-old, you just need to be prepared that you could be like in a TikTok at any time, you know? Are you ready for that, Molly? Are you ready for that? I'm not.

I'm going to be like, I'm busy. That is going to be so real. That is going to be so real, Molly. Stop broadcasting. Do this dance. Yeah. Do this dance. Put your hands on your head.

Do the ouch dance. You know what I mean? There's going to be so many weird. Do the flip-flop dance. You have to put flip-flops on your hands. You know what I mean? On your hands and smack yourself with them. There could be so many of us.

Now, my question is this too, is specifically, Jackie. We did, nay, I say, we did a two-parter episode on Mariah Carey from Pop History Pinsett. Three-parter. Three-parter? Oh, my God. We did a three-parter, Mariah Carey. What do you think? My problem is, I'm like, I'm racking my brain.

Like, what is she going to reveal in this memoir that we do, have not already. discovered about her. You guys already wrote the memoir. Yeah. Are there any mysteries that need to be uncovered? Or do you think it'll just come out of left field? She'll be like, I fucked Don Mattingly from the Yankees. I don't know.

You know what I mean? Like in 1985. It could be. She said, this book is composed of my memories, my mishaps, my struggles, my survival, and my songs. So I also wonder if she'll get further into of why she wrote, because if you listen to our pop history three-parter, the fact that she writes most of,

I think it was like 91% of her music she wrote. Either she wrote by herself or, you know, obviously wrote with other people. So I wonder if it's a part of a little bit more of a revealing side because she is pretty good at hiding what she wants to be hidden. All right. I'm going to give three predictions. Okay.

If you guys want to join me, you can give your own predictions, okay? Prediction number one is she had a make-out session with Michelle Obama. Like, maybe even Barack was like there. I would definitely watch it. Confession number two. I think I will say, I would just throw this out there. I would say that Michelle Obama might have a higher standard, but who knows? Sometimes if you've got like, if you've got like a very good, you know, sometimes people want to like kind of do a little bit of a dumpster dive.

will. And that maybe is too mean to Mariah. I'm just saying, I've never done that before in my life. Wow. Confession number two. She has a secret hot tub in her bed. Like her mattress slides out and there's just a hot tub there. See, that I could understand because remember even just this last year when she was in a full evening gown inside of a hot tub. So maybe in her brain she confuses what a hot tub actually is. And she goes, hot tub is mattress, but no hot tub is hot tub. Confession number three, she once built a man out of candy, had him animated by a wizard, and married that man, but then the man melted one day,

and it was a forbidden room. Well, I think you are confusing me with Mariah Carey at that point, because man, when I, oh God, you get Mr. I called a Mr. Now and Later, and everyone's like, oh, what an international man of mystery. But really, I'm just sucking on now and laters.

And you know, They're small. And so to build a full person, you'd need a lot. Wait, which is the difference? What's a now and later versus a good and plenty? Which one is the licorice one? Good and plenty. Now and later's a sweet, a lovely, sugary candy.

Fruity ones. It's very chew. It's very chew. They're like... Green apple, strawberry watermelon. Chewy micanikes. Oh, I'm thinking, yeah, yeah. Now and laters are like...

They're like in little squares. They're like a harder starbursts. Yes, okay, yes. They'll cut your tongue. They're sharp. You can make them sharp and they'll cut you. There's a corollary to Goodnipennies, though. What's the fruity Good and Plenty?

Is it Good and Fruity? Good and Plenty, that's like a jelly bean. Good and Plenty is more of like a jelly bean. It's kind of like a jelly bean. Yeah. I'll talk fruity, chewy candies all fucking day. I ate Starburst jelly beans last night until I almost threw up. That is my favorite.

And there's not a bad bean in the bun. Not a bad bean in the bunch. They're all good. Unlike other jelly beans where you're like, I don't want the whatever one, the white one or whatever. Yeah, I hear you. Why don't we talk about this more? Starburst jelly beans is like, oh, this is a good flavor.

So, fucking good. This is a good flavor. Mary, please call the episode, not a bad bean in the butt. So Jackie and Molly, whoever wants to, any predictions in the Mariah Carey memoir, any predictions in the Mariah Carey memoir, the MMM, the MCM, I'm sorry. I'm just hoping that maybe her twins are actually like her siblings. And it was the kind of thing where she had no idea that her mother could still even conceive at that late in life. But they're miracle babies and you can't get rid of miracle babies.

So what if it's like a Beyonce type situation where the pregnancy was fake? And that the children are actually her siblings. I've got one. Her father is, her biological father is actually a pair of shoes. But lubitons are they lubitons? No, they're really nice penny loafers. Oh, that's sensible. I will say in terms of the Beyonce situation and the myths around celebrities not having kids,

when I was watching the WABB. All I could think was Cardi B pregnant did and gave birth to a child and her body looks this good. Oh my God. Totally. Just absolutely awe. You have to remember Molly, though. She works out all the time and also has lots of things holding her into place. You got to remember that.

Yes. But I was in absolute, like, joyful awe looking at, that was how, I mean, you guys remember. So is Kylie Jenner. I mean, insane. Yeah, Kylie Jenner, too. And, right. And one of my favorite part about homecoming was when Beyonce talked about, like, getting preeclampsia and having. having the emergency C-sections with her,

a C-section with her babies and like, watching her be like, yeah, I had to, like, do this process to get my body to look this way. And it was like this extremely intense process. But, yeah, now my brain is broken so that if I ever see anybody who looks hot, whoever had a kid, I'm just like, what do you do to make your body look that way again?

How you do it? See, I just do it just because I ate starburst jelly beans until I was sick last night. So that's why I need to know how do you do it, you know? I think it's that you don't eat the whole bag of the Starburst jelly beans. Right, but how do you stop? When they're all so good. Why would you quit?

Why would you stop a good thing? It doesn't make sense. This is why I can't buy Skittles either. And if I didn't buy the Starburst Jelly beans, they were sent to me by my mother because my mom didn't want to go to the post office for during Easter, so I just got all my Easter candy. And it's a hard. I was like, mom, don't do this to me.

Because again, with Skittles, too. I'll eat them until my mouth is cut the fuck up. Yeah, cut to piece. Wait, even regular, regular Skittles? Are you arguing that there's not a bad, there's not a bad bean in the bunch in regular Skittles? Is that what you're saying, the red bag?

I would say, I would say a plain, like the normal flavor skittles, they're all at the end of the day. Damn, now I want some fucking Skittles now. I know, dude. I'm going to rob a bank for some Skittles right now. Even yellow, though? Yellow is out there.

The orange ones are kind of my least favorite, favorite of regular skittles. Yellow is always the least favorite for me, Molly. But at the end of the day, I'm not going to turn it down. You pair it up. You pair it up. I've never paired it. You got to pare it. You don't shove. I used to just shove like a handful of them in my mouth. You didn't pair it. What do you tell you? You just eat one at a time like a psycho? What's wrong with you, Molly?

Isolate your flavors? You got to isolate your flavors. I've never done any pairing to the skittles. Anyone who eat skittles one at a time definitely is like fully planned out how they would dispose of a body if it ever came down to it. But that's great though, because someday I'm just going to have a body on my hands and what am I going to do with it? Exactly. Oh, Molly. I'm going to call Molly.

I know your Skittles, one at a time, Skiddle's ass has been fucking planted this for a year and a day. So how do I get rid of this body? I'm in a hotel room with Santa Monica. Help me, Molly. You would be the person I called, though. I think that you would be able to talk me through it as I sobbed. because someone's going to need to come out here and pick up the fucking pieces.

I'm not going to be able to do it by myself. I'm okay. I'm pretty good in a crisis, but I've never, now when there's going to be a documentary about my eventual serial killings, it's going to cite this moment where I said that I eat with Skittles one at a time. Don't you remember. They got different flavors. I'll shovel M&Ms into my mouth because they all got the same flavor. If they have different flavors, you got to experience each flavor separately.

But did you ever have the year? I think I may have had about a year, a couple of years of my life, where I swore that the different colors of Eminem's tasted different. Of course. Even though I know that they did it, but I was just like, but maybe they do. Of course, especially when there was the voting going on. Oh, I remember the voting. The voting for the colors.

I was one of the purple. I never got the fucking purple. But that's a story for a different day because right now we got to talk about, we're going into just quick down the line of, Reboots Corner because there's a lot happening right now and some things I'm very excited about and some things I'm not very excited about. Yeah. Rebootland is a bad land. Yes. And I think that I don't know how so we talked about a couple of weeks ago about how Zach Ephron is he has glowed up. He is a Zaddy for sure now. But he's going to star. We don't know which role yet in a reboot of the movie

three men and a baby. We don't need it. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I was obsessed with three men and a baby and three men in the league. Me too. I don't know why too. And it's so funny because reading the article, it's like inexplicably this movie was a hit. No one knows why. No one knows why. And I remember it was like just, there was something, it had such charm

to it. I don't know. It was such a fun. It's Tom, it's Alex Steve Gutenberg and fucking Ted Ted Datson. It's the people. It's the guys. Yeah, for sure. So now we know Zach Saffron's going to be in it. I'm going to assume that he's going to be the Ted dance and roll. Who knows? Because it hasn't been released yet.

But Disney Plus is rebooting it. I don't know if it needs it. I'm down to see him as an actual father figuring out the ropes. But I just don't think it needs it. Yeah. I think if they get the right trio, it's going to be a huge hit. Okay, then what's the right trio, though? Okay, let's talk about it.

Mariah Carey as a man. I'm in. It's like Mariah Carey, full, Mariah Carey, full makeup just has a big Ted dance stuck on mustache.

She's fully Mariah Carey, but she just has the mustache. I'm into that, okay. I'm going to go with, besides that, I'm going to go with Andy's circus,

right, the guy who did Gallum in a green screen suit. Okay, okay. What is he in the green screen suit for what? Like, what is he?

lizard guy, like a man lizard. So he's you. He's playing you. Yeah, kind of, essentially. We're thinking about this all wrong. We need to go back in time and we need to think. What are you talking about? What? Ryan Carey is a man in a CGI lizard person and Zach Efron is in a fucking trio for the ages?

I'm going to exile Zach Ephron from this conversation and I want us to look at Tom Selig, Steve Gutenberg and Ted Danson and ask, what function were they serving in pop culture at the time and only then can we answer the question who should play the role now. So Tom Selleck obviously, he's always been a big daddy. Ted Danson. Yeah. So I guess I don't know what Steve Gutenberg. He's the big question mark.

Steve Gutenberg's the comic relief. Ted Dance, I mean, they kind of all are, but Steve Gutenberg's like the wacky one, right? And he's the more rational one, though. Tom Selleck is the hunk, is the like sex appeal, is the daddy. But Ted Danson. But Ted Danson is, I think the main key with him was, yes, he's also hugging, but he is this, like, charming sex fiend from, he is essentially his character on Cheers. So I think the Ted Danson effect is you need to take somebody who's already on a very popular TV show that you're just putting them into this picture. It's like they're already this like personality driven TV show thing and you're just throwing them into it.

Those are the three. It's the wacky one. It's like the big silly, the daddy, and then the like kind of combination of all of those things almost away, and it's already has the big name appeal from a TV show specifically. You know who you need? Tony Hale as Steve Gutenberg. Yes. All right? I think that Tony Hale would be, you know Tony Hale, Arrested Development and Veep.

I think Tony Hale would be a great Steve Guttenberg. He'd be great. It's not they're very hunky. Gutenberg still has a- How dare you? What? Oh my God, I want to ride Tony Hale up and down the western coast. Yeah.

Yeah. No, you're alone on that. You're alone. You're alone. You're alone in that. I am not alone, and I beg you, if you are listening to this, you become at me. I know I'm not alone in this. I mean, honestly, I think we can do this with just characters from arrested development.

It could be, you know, Jason Bateman, Tony Hale. and Will Arnett would be pretty good. That actually... Yeah, that's actually pretty solid. That's pretty good. Although where does David Cross lies? David Cross, like, the... Who is the bad guy in three...

I haven't seen three men. See, I remember three men and a baby because I really wanted to go... I wanted to go be like a boarding school girl, just like she was in three men and a lady. But I'm throwing this out there. I don't think I've seen these movies in probably 20 years. And I'm going to assume

that there are problematic points to it. Almost certainly. But we're there bad guys trying to take the baby away in the first one? Yeah, there's something like that. Oh, here you go. I got a couple for you. Daniel Levy. Oh, my God, yes.

Would be a great Gutenberg. And actually, because I'm Googling stuff and it just popped up their video together, but Kieran Colkin. Yeah. Would be a solid, Daniel, would be a solid. Can we just watch their tape? If we could get their tape. Daniel Levy, Kieran Colkin, and then who is the mustachioed leading guy?

Mariah Carey and a mustache. This is like the art house version of Three Men and a Baby. Sorry, just also side note, if you haven't looked it up yet, there is Eugene Levy over the weekend received a lifetime achievement award. I'm so glad you saw this. I was going to send this to you, Jackie, and I forgot. I cannot. So he was surprised with it. And then also it was at the Newport Beach Film Festival.

He got the Lifetime Achievement Award. And a bunch, like a million people, celebrities, people that he's worked with. Martin Shorts, Steve Martin, like all these huge, huge names. That he worked with an SETV and waiting for Kaufman. Like the people he's worked with his entire life put this dedication video together talking about how he's such a wonderful light in this world and how he's so great to work with. and the video is him hearing all of it for the first time. And can you just imagine just all these people from your entire career of people

just coming together to talk about how great you are? And I sobbed through it. But you should look it up. It's the Newport Beach Lifetime Achievement Award for Eugene Levy. But that's a sidebar. It's great. It's so great. So I don't think Zach Afron should be in it.

But he's going to be a great daddy. And again, I'm going to assume he's a Teddance in it. And before we get to celebrity conspiracy time, I do want to mention witches as well as the other reboot that a lot of people are immediately like, fuck this, Ann Hathaway, blah, blah, the witches is like sacred ground to them. Which is a sacred ground.

I agree with you. And Hathaway is like a really easily hateable. You know what's funny? Like I feel like people already hate me for loving T. Swift. But I also like really like Ann Hath-I. Like, I feel like I'm in the small camp of people who actually really enjoy her work and think she's a really talented actress. I don't think that she's a great comedy actress.

but I think that she is a good actress. And honestly, as much as there were lots of parts of Les Mis, speaking of Ben Shapiro, there's lots of parts of Laymiss I didn't enjoy, but he was talking about, because of the Laymiss thing. In Hathaway was great in Laymiss. I agree. I love her.

Yeah, I feel like there was a lot of hate towards the movie, Les Miz, and I thought that, you know, I don't even like Russell Crow at all, and he was perfect as Javert because Javert sucks. So get someone who sucks to be Javert. And I actually thought that That's a good defense for that performance. Yeah.

I thought that Ann Hathaway did a good job as Fontaine. I thought that she was fine. She dreamed a dream, man. And either way, but it's the, it seems like they're get outing it a little bit. And speaking of which Lovecraft Country coming out this Sunday. Oh my God, it comes out this Sunday. I'm so excited for Lovecast. And with Darcy Stacey, a Sunday is like a miracle day from the heaven.

The Sunday is the perfect television day ever. It's ever existed. The Darcy Stacey. from 90 Day Show. And the, that's my Kardashians right there. All right. Don't touch them.

They are my Kardashians. And, and then this, but also, so the witches is actually set in, what is it again, 19, it seems like they're essentially making the,

the, what's her name, the queen of the witches or whatever. They're making it like almost like a KKK kind of thing a little bit. Because she's like the grand witch. So the film has, it seems, It seems it's going to be exploring the historical aspects of the Jim Crow South, as well as the civil rights movement that occurred during the 1960s.

It situates its characters into an important conversation on racism with the potential to go beyond this facet, all by making the main protagonist black and the grand high witch white. So it's going to be... And the whole thing is centered around. And Octavia Spencer is going to play the grandmother in it. It's going to be... So it's going to be a much deeper idea than the original book itself, which also makes sense. It was a, it's a YA book. I mean, I was terrified by the witches.

I love the movie and I love the book. I love it. I think that this is the thing with reboots is that, like, if you're doing a reboot to do something, like, an interesting reimagining, then that is, like, cool. But if you're doing a reboot purely to be like, that was popular that. let's do Fuller House now. And I'm not going to God. And I say this is somebody who, you know, saw three of the four seasons of Fuller House.

But there's reboots to just, there's reboots that are purely based on 90s nostalgia. And then there's reboots for the purpose of being like, that was a good story. I wonder if we could do something different with it. I think so I'm actually weird. And so the poster of it leaked. And you know what?

I'm fucking here for it. I think it's, I'm definitely going to watch it. Yeah, it's very possible that it could be an incredibly iraily bad thing, but if they pull it off, I think it'll actually be pretty great. And say in the same way, too, as the reboot, when I again heard that they were rebooting Fresh Prince of Bel Air and I was like, oh my God, okay, come up with a new fucking story. Except that it was actually, it's actually being based on this four-minute viral video that was put out by a director Morgan Cooper that re-envisioned. the idea of the fresh prince of ballet as a drama and if you watch this

trailer for it, it's oh my God, it's beautiful. I immediately was drawn into it and not I wasn't the only one drawn into it. So was Will Smith who's actually going to be act and a couple of other producers who's going to be acting

as one of the executive producers so they're taking a viral video that got made and turning it into the television show of a serious dramatic turn of fresh Prince of Bel Air. And you know what? It looks sick as fuck, dude. I'm very excited about it.

Yeah, that's cool. Whereas I'm sorry to keep going back to Fuller House. Please, you're the only one that watched it. Just another parent died. Well, honestly, it was the same as why the, yes, why party of five, why that got canceled so fast. It's like, I understand that I appreciate that they were trying to change it. but it's not the

like you just it should have been a different story about children that were being separated from their parents that were sent back that were like that had immigrated to America that were kicked out of our country which that is a very interesting

story separately it should not have been a reboot of party of five and I think that that's why it got canceled I watched the show I enjoyed it it just shouldn't have been a reboot of already a five and I think that's where it went wrong. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I guess Fuller House is just the go-to example because like the literally the premise of Fuller House is they were like, we got the set still. Let's just have the exact same cast come. And then instead of having the main character have a wife who died, this time it'll just be DJ grew up and her husband died. And now-

Which also, that just sounds like the family is cursed. So if you're going to do something like that, then have the Tanner family be cursed. And then spin it in a whole other direction. Oh, my, I would watch the shit out of that. See, that's a reboot. That's the haunted fuller house. I would watch that. Yeah.

It's full of ghosts. It'll be full. And then in, in parentheses, of ghost house. Yeah. Full of ghost house. Yeah. That's not going to be cumbersome and weird. But I'll tell you what's not, wait, no, but I'll tell you what's also cumbersome and weird.

Was M&M replaced by an android? Oh my God, it's conspiracy. Oh, is that around the same time that he had sex with Mariah Carey? Maybe, yeah, I think she's also an android, and so it's like the music video for Bjorks All is Full of Love. Oh, the roommates have sex. That actually was Mariah Carey and Eminem without their face, without their human skin. Oh, my God.

All is full of love. Yeah, with all the, it's all wet and weird and stuff. It's very wappy. I know it. Either way, the theory is thus. This was one of the dumber ones. So there you go. But here we go.

Famous rapper Eminem died in 2006 due to either substance abuse or a car crash and was replaced by an android to keep making money for the powers that beat. Now there are bits of evidence here. First of all, conspiracy theorist La Guida del Varon gathered around 50 images from different eras of M. and compared them, and it reveals his face has changed over time. Kind of like what happens with people who age, but maybe also it's actually an android. Right? He also noted that when Eminem left rehab,

he was much more fit, and he went from a very Detroit fashion sense with baggy jeans, fitted hats, to kind of an all-black The Punisher look. Oh, my God, because he's actually an android. Is he also going to go kill it? in the night too? Well, the evidence is pretty clear

in an ESPN interview back in 2013 in which Eminem seemed to glitch out, seemed to show his machinations. He was swiveling his head around slowly, not blinking. And when asked what excited him about his upcoming album, he was like, um, nothing.

And it was just like, I'm uncomfortable and stuff. Oh my God, it's just like Westworld. Yes. It's like a robot kind of not being what they need to be in Westworld, which I couldn't get into season two because it was just too many. It's a lot. Too many logic circles.

Yeah, too many. It was like a Venn diagram of nonsense. I fell off. Couldn't agree harder. I heard it actually like picks maybe I should have sung with it. Apparently the third season picks back up. I just. Seems to be kind of cool, but I'm like, I don't know if I can put that work in.

No, thank you. Either way. Either way. Rapper Tom McDonald, who I've never heard of, released a song in. a video called cloned rappers, which includes the lyrics. Illuminati took bone samples to clone rappers, as well as the lyric. They cloned Gucci. They cloned Kodiak.

Cloned Eminem. He ain't wrapped since Encore. Know that. Wow. So then that would make a lot more sense of how they got Eminem to perform at the Oscars. Yes. Because he refused to perform last time. But then all of a sudden, magically.

He's ready to perform at the Oscars even though he's not up for anything and it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. So maybe it's because he's an android and more easy to manipulate now. Do you believe in magic? I hope you do. Eminem's a robot.

It has to be true. Wow, that was good. Yes, I am sort of a bit of a Hamilton. A bit of a Hamilton. Everyone's always saying that about you. So the rapper Bob B-O-B, but I don't know what to call him. I guess I'll call him Bob or B-O-B either way. He tweeted back in 2015,

when a celebrity in great health suddenly suffered a stroke, heart attack, aneurysm equals cloning center. Why? So he goes into rehab, put through the cloning center. He'd make a clone of them. The real M&M, the real Slim Shady stays in his grave. does not stand up. What this actually means is that the movie multiplicity

is really, it was just actually saying that Michael Keaton went to rehab and he came back out as four different personalities because of the trauma that he received from having to go to rehab because he was a horrible husband that wasn't invested in his family's life?

I'm going to go ahead and say a hard maybe on that, but I will say that I do believe actress, Andy McDowell is in fact is in fact the rap group onics. Whoa, I always thought that.

Yeah, and they combined the rap group onics into one entity, a spirit entity, and created a woman frame, human frame. Human frame. And put that, yeah. That's my full belief. Also, I just wouldn't let you know that the rapper Bob is also definitely a flat earther.

so so we believe everything you said so yeah so that makes him extra trustworthy so obviously he is trustworthy yeah do you believe this is true yeah

yes I do I do believe it because you know never trust the rehab because anyone that's trying to better themselves is not to be trusted and I think that that makes full sense there you go

Molly Molly I'm going to go with no I feel like I've seen a lot of human growth from Eminem and I Molly is correct Molly this is one of the flimsier conspiracy I barely

I feel like this is barely possible for me to use as a conspiracy and you know I wanted to believe that Justin Bieber is a lizard I want to believe Beaver's definitely a lizard bro I know that for a fact is I have

I do a meeting once once a month with all the sort of lizard people, you know, in the world. And we do a Zoom. It's now a Zoom chat. It used to be in a big kind of oval, uh, it was essentially a building shaped like an egg I would go to in upstate New York. Yeah, it's tough now that it's a Zoom.

Yeah, now we do the Zoom or whatever. Everyone just checks in like, well, thank you so much for enlightening us. Because now it's time to mosey on over, slip on over if you're gushy enough to the list. Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list.

I guess I would say that someone is inappropriately wet and gushy on the toy shelves recently, which is where the idea of this, today's list came from, which is from inappropriate trolls to Cussin Elmo, the dirty dozen toys that terrified parents and kids. So we didn't get to this article, but I figure, you know, we can just give it a quick sum up. Incorporated in the list. Wrap it in. Oh, yeah. So Trolls World Tour, yes, the last movie any of us could have seen in the fucking movie theater.

Troll's World Tour, there was a troll named Poppy. So Poppy's been on the shelves. And apparently, and now I'm not quite sure why. Poppy the troll doll has a button that is around where her vaginal area would be and every time you press said button

the doll goes like ah and then it does like a and it makes his giggle happy sounds whenever you press the button now the thing is is that the toy company claims

that the button was there so every time the Poppy doll sits down, she emits a sound of relief. And like Holden was saying before we started recording, that's usually only what someone our age does, because I

do know whenever I sit down, I go, ugh, but it's more a deep-throated emittance, rather than a, ah, every time I sit down. It's also not even... I've had, we've all, we've all

play with dolls, this button, this pussy button is right, right between her legs. It's not even on her butt. Like, if you sat this toy, if you were playing with this toy and bent her legs so that she was sitting down, she would not be sitting on her pussy. Like, it's a pussy button. I'm sorry. It doesn't, and I don't think that there's a bigger conspiracy behind it. Like the lion, this is like the Lion King and the Little Mermaid Boner thing and the Lion King thing where the cloud spells penis or whatever. I don't

think that it's actually sex. It's actually upsetting. Those are real. This is I don't think is a conspiracy, but it is absolutely inexplicable why there is like a pussy button where you press it and she goes it. It's so dumb. It shouldn't happen.

There's just no reason for it. It's so stupid. So I apologize. It hasn't been taken from the shelves yet because there was a that there's a viral video. You could look it up the Poppy doll from Trow's World Tour. She has started a petition on Change.org to get the doll removed or to at least remove the pussy button from the future makings of the doll. She does believe that it is the furthering of the government

and acceptance of child molestation and pedophilia. I do think that it was just a dumb design. and I think it probably shouldn't be there anymore. And I'm not asking people to do a WAP-Hasbro-Troll doll crossover mashup, but I'm just saying it is something that would maybe be possible to do. Although I will say on the opposite end of this, sorry, side note, that I was recently, I don't know if you follow Humans of New York on Instagram, but recently there was a beautiful story of a young girl

who was a, who didn't have a lot of friends who was obsessed with their American girl dolls and she and her mother recreated movies together using her American girl dolls from a young age and now she is an artist and older and they just recreated instills because she's a photographer and she used her American girl dolls

to do scene by scene of oh what's it where the movie where everyone's puk and everywhere where they find the dead body? Stand by me. Stand by me. So they do, but with American Girl dolls, that's, I cried while reading the Humans of New York. That is the opposite of what we want you to do with the trolls dolls. I think that we want them to giggle their way through.

And you know what? Figure out what Wap really means for them. But on this list, there are other things that have been taken off the shelves because it's free dot parents. This list is so good. See, I remember, so I had a Tickle Me Elmo doll. And it was too old to have a tickle me Elmo doll, but I definitely had a dad that was checked out of our situation. So he just assumed that, like, you know, a 14-year-old wants to tickle me Elmo doll,

which is not the case. And I remember getting it and thinking it was so horrifying. Because it's another one of those things that just would make the sounds. Or to go, ha, ha, that tickles. And I hated it. I fucking hated it. And apparently there was another Elmo doll in 2008 that of Florida. mother claimed that the doll was spitting out Chucky-esque death threats against her two-year-old son.

That apparently that the Elmo would learn different phrases and there was 100 personalized phrases and one of the phrases was kill James. So Fisher Price ultimately offered to replace the mother's toy, but that's a case where you definitely don't want Elmo to know your name. I mean, it does sound very scary. Weird. Who knows it? But honestly, you're going to take it to court, it must have been saying kill James. Or at least some things that sounded like kill James, which I think is also fun because then this came up in a case against the minions that were being involved in happy meals.

So I don't know, I had roommates that were weirdly obsessed with minions and minions are very weird. they don't speak in actual, you know, they say things like banana and potato. But other than that, I think that it's a lot of gibberish. I've never watched the movies. Did you guys watch the movies? No. No, I've purposely avoided them because I don't have kids old enough. I feel like you only should be watching this personally.

I mean, don't hate me for this listener who loves the minions. But I feel like the only reason why you should be watching Midians movies because you have kids that are at the age that you want, you know. You know, you can take them to movies. I also think that we were in that weird time period when Despickel Me came out where we didn't have the money to go see a movie that we didn't really, really, really want to see. Yeah. I think it was one of those. Because, like, now I don't want to despickel me.

I don't get fun. It sounds great. I'm sure it's great because all those movies are fun. But I guess these minions, everyone thought that they were saying bad words. And there's all these videos of the minions saying bad words. So they were stricken from the happy meals in 2015. things like, what the fuck? And so they apologized for it.

I imagine that they weren't actually saying these things probably just sounded like it as someone I just listened to it. It sounds very convincingly like. It sounds like what the fuck. It does sound like what the fuck. But then this is the reason why I found this list in the first place because I was telling Jeff about the trolls doll and he's like, yeah, but didn't you,

he's like, remember that like Nimbus 2000 that came out a while ago that was banned? was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. And it was on this list. The Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 vibrating broomstick. And as you can imagine, a lot of parents were a little upset with it because what do you do on a broomstick? You put it between your legs and you ride around on it. What happens when it's vibrating?

Uh-oh. The thing is. This just upsets me because this just is a passive way to open up. people, I mean, come on, isn't everybody, like, mine centers around a pound puppy stuffed animal, my sexual awakening, you know what I mean? It's like, this is, I get it that it's inappropriate at the end of the day, but, but it's, it's not, it's not hurting anyone and it's helping a lot of people. It's fine. It's fun. If kids are old. It's scenario. It's fine. It's just like the music. If they're old enough to discover that you can put a vibrating broomstick between your legs and it feels good,

then let them rock, you know. Like, have you ever watched a young boy? I mean, I've only experienced this with when I was a nanny of a young male child. And I'm sure that it was the kind of thing that was happening with the young girls that I was also a nanny of. But I just remember, like, constantly, I'm like, stop playing with yourself. You got to cool out. You got to stop. You got to stop it.

And, like, they didn't understand. But also, it's like, I was the nanny, which is why it made me very uncomfortable. But as, like, as a parent, I imagine it's like, they're gonna, they're already touching on themselves. That's just part of it. You gotta figure it out somehow. Give them a broomstick. And doesn't that just make them a lot?

Like, isn't that nice that the power of magic can make them feel good? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to know about it. I don't want to watch it happen. That is a personal discovery that you can make for yourself. And yeah, if you are old enough to make that discovery, then take your nimbus and go have fun by yourself. go into your room.

That's why we're allowed to close the door. Yeah, that is something you do in private by yourself. And that's absolutely fine. And I'll see you later. It's in the same vein as the E.T. Fingerlight. Now, this I don't like. This is so, if you look at a picture of the E.T. Fingerlight toy, it is very upsetting to see.

I just, I don't love. And it looks like a dildo. It looks like a dildo. It looks like a, it looks like a dildo that was like held underwater for too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's the wrinkliness of it that makes me a thousand percent. Honestly, it's the wrinkliness.

And I also think it's really more of that I think I wouldn't want my kid to have it because I'd be like, stop touching me with the long plastic finger. I think it's more of what my issue would be with it. Not that it looks like a dildo. Because honestly, if your kids find your dildos, you should put them away in a better place.

You know? And then if they find them, then you have a conversation. I feel like a lot of this stuff is, it's like, it's parents that are terrified of having a conversation. Yes. Yes. So funny though. Lexi, Lexi had to come in and see this and the look on her face was hilarious. It is truly disgusting. She was truly, it looks, it looks yucky. But this one I'm actually very against, which is Barbie's pregnant friend, Midge, who she has a, she has a pregnant belly and then you can take the pregnant belly off and inside of the pregnant belly there's a baby there's a little baby inside of there and they banned it because someone said a parent told cvs news in 2002 it's a bad idea it promotes teen pregnancy what would an eight year old or 12 year old

get out of that baby doll education i don't know maybe education a little bit learn it's like why is that it's again i don't mean to get on a weird little high horse but it's like it's people that are scared. It's like, they have to learn where a child comes from. Yeah, it's weird and yes, that is not what happens, you know, a pregnancy. I wish that you could just take off the excess skin

and then there comes the baby out of it. But that's not how it works, but at least it provides a guy. Again, like you just said, hold it. What about pound puppies? I always ask about it. It's like, oh, and then my mom would explain why the babies were inside of it. It's like, it's just, you just have a

confrontation. Yeah. Yeah. The, This is only, I, of course, like, assumed that this was upsetting for, like, the opposite reason. Like, if people are upset about pregnant midge, it is weird. You, like, snap off her tummy and pry out the baby. But you also don't want to have her squeezing out a big sack of red, wet. Yeah, you don't need a Barbie that's, like, squeezer. And then, no, like, I guess the only thing that's weird about pregnant midge to me is that, like, it seems almost a little bit like I don't even I've I imagine like to kids I imagine like a first

trimester pregnant midge that would be like a pro life project you know this is not that because this is like a this is like a due date pregnant midge like snap open the baby but that that baby is actually it looks like she's two years old in Barbie size yes like like like It's totally, I think, kids should have toys where they're like, oh, where does the baby come from and all that? I think that that's like, you need that. This only made me uncomfortable because I was like, oh, it's weird that they're just like taking the baby right out the tummy and then it's just a baby now. It's a little bit more complicated than that. But that is not why people were against it.

People were against it because you're like, how dare you show children where a baby comes from? And that is like a dumb reason to be against it. Such a dumb reason. Now, the last one, you know what, the last doll on your, I'll give it to him. I'll give why this was pulled from the shelves. I guess. It's the talking Freddie Kruger doll. So there was, so the American Family Association led a boycott of the company that created the toy dolls,

accusing them of warping young minds with a toy based on a serial killer of teenagers. So the thing is that what I'm more upset to me about this. is that I get pulling it when it's geared towards little kids, and not because it's scary, but because Freddie Kruger was a pedophile, that the people of the town came together and burned death inside of the school because they wanted to kill the dude that was molesting their children.

And so that is more of the reason why I think the kids shouldn't have a Freddie Kruger doll. It's a weird one. It's a weird choice. But wasn't there a Freddie Krueger, like, cartoon at some point? Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was. And I also, I love Freddy Kruger, and I was terrified of Freddy Krueger, but I didn't even realize that as a young kid of why he was killed. I didn't understand that when I was really young.

I just was scared of the man that could get you in your sleep. Again, all that goes right over your head, you know, it's fine. Right. So it's fine. I mean, I definitely, we definitely should have been watching it that young. But that's a conversation for my therapist, my mother. That's not a conversation about taking the doll off the shelf. Because also horror enthusiasts would buy that doll.

That's also something like a Freddie Krueger doll. I also have a talking the nanny doll in my room. Did I want that when I was six? No. Do I want it at 33? Yes. I have a talking Rosie O'Donnell doll. It goes, dreams come true with Rosie.

Oh man, that's in the kush phase. Yeah, yeah. She says, what a cutie patootie. What a cutie patootie. Oh, my God. Yeah, because we talk about this, because I also have, you know, I've got the Rosie O'Donnell Christmas album where she sings with a bunch of different celebrities. But that's, we'll save that.

We'll save that for Christmas talk. Oh, no, don't even make it. Bring up Christmas shoes, Jackie. Why? Get it out. What are you doing? Someone saved me from myself. There's something about Christmas shoes

and the song that makes me have a blurry sort of vision. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. He is Holden going blind. I, yeah, am I going blind? No, don't see Christmas shoes.

Oh, my God, it's just like the Scoogee man except it's what's Christmas shoes. I think I'm going. Blind. Why? It's items. Oh, we can't see them. You can't see them.

Here's your first one. What is it? It's a whatever one. That's not true. It's very, very captivating. Ooh. From recent actions and interviews, it seems like the longtime companion

to the permanent A++ Lister wants to spread his wings in his retirement years. This should be interesting. The A++ Lister is female and incredibly well known for personality-driven content dating back for years. She is a big deal, and she's always had this rock. Oprah Winfrey.

Absolutely. And Stedman Graham. In a recent interview, he said, I'm defined a lot by my relationship with Oprah, but it has nothing to do with me. That's how you define me. That's not how, that's, wait, that's how you define me. That's how you define me. It's not how I define myself.

and went on to talk about how viewing himself is separate from Oprah and her success is how they, quote, maintain the equality in the relationship. Sounds like he's having a bit of a bugaboo and he wants to get on out. I mean, I understand. I don't, I'm going to throw this out there. I don't know a whole lot about Stedman. And I think what's sad is that what I do know about him is that he's the partner of Oprah Winfrey. And that's not fair for me to only know that about him,

but that's all I've ever known. Also, isn't the, like, baggage with Stedman is that they're in, like, a deeply sexless relationship? Yeah, right, probably. There is a lot. I don't know if there still is, but I remember many years that Stedman has been referred to as a beard

for Oprah Winfrey. And I'm not sure, I have no idea. I honestly don't know, and I know that we are going to a thousand percent do Oprah Winfrey on pop history. And I'd like to, like to know more about that because I've never really looked into her, I've never looked into her

relationship private life before. I only see her as an inspiration and understanding and support when it comes to fluctuating weight gain. That's something that I've always identified with Oprah as having, but I don't know. I honestly, and I don't know if there's any, if it's just, it could just be absolute bullshit. But isn't it crazy that still? that gets in your brain of like, that's all I know about it is that he's a beard, which he's probably not. Right. Right, right, right. Well, either way, moving right along, this back in the day A-plus list tweener turned A-list adult singer is in a, quote, relationship, but tried to hit on the foreign-born A-list female singer, and the foreign-born singer was having none of it.

Miley Cyrus? Yes. Justin Bieber. And- No, female singer. Rihanna. Female foreign-born? Yeah, they were recently in a pick together.

I think they might be doing a song together. Not Rihanna? Not Rihanna. Big, she's so hot right now. We love her, by the way. At least I know Jackie and I love her music. Adele? Big fan.

No, she's kind of had a breakout more over the last, like, couple, like years. Over the last like years. Normani? No. Similar camp-ish, a little bit. Think of another one that's like came out with an album. Doja Cat? No.

Well, we, Doja Cat's over, but. No. What's her grade? Is she also a list? She's got a lot of rules. She's got rules that are not old. Oh, Duolipa! Yeah, recently posted an Insta pic with her and Duolipa, teasing a new song.

Cody Simpson also recently posted a selfie of himself and Cyrus with the caption, In Love with My Best Friend. And then I wrote in all caps, yuck! I also, there was actually a fairly cute video with the Duolipa. talking to a bunch of seniors, and she was asking them about, like, what they know about current pop music and showing them her music and being, like, what do you think? And everyone, like, because she wanted, like, real answers of what people that don't usually listen to pop music think about her music. And it's actually really adorable and how excited everyone gets of,

like, you're a very talented young woman. And, like, it's pretty great. I really like, that's funny. I love it. I'm such a duolipan fan. And I love the idea that she, totally turned down Miley Cyrus. Hell yeah. Fun, fun time. Either way, this last one, here you go.

When you don't have the normal operating systems in place, it makes it easy for this A-list actress slash writer to once again sneak in a pregnancy. She did it before when things were normal.

This is easy for her. No annoying red carpet father questions to avoid either. Kylie Jenner? No. Here's another clue. She's a writer and actress. And actress.

Yeah, what are you talking about? Well, Rebel City of Idra, the story of Lexa. Oh my God. She writes on really good comedy shows. I'm a big fan, actually, of hers. I think she's great. So she got a secret pregnancy. She's an actress and a writer.

Yeah, a TV show that is heavily beloved that no longer exists anymore. That's about an office. Oh, Mindy Kaling? Oh, Mindy Kaling. Yeah, yeah, Mindy Kaling. Good for her. Good for her. This is like a positive note.

Like, fuck yeah, girl. I love that. Like, go for it. Yeah, that's nice. Hell yeah. Get that pregnancy in and do it your way. And there's a great time to do it. Like, fuck everybody.

Fuck everybody. You take care of yourself. Hell yeah. That's it. Oh, my God. I see my apartment that I've been seeing every day since March. Since March. I guess I'm happy that I can see again.

It's literally I might as well be blind because I know exactly what the fuck this looks like. Well, you know, it's good because all you. really need are your fingers to feel that wet and gushy that yeah yeah feeling around for it I'm gonna get that outfit and everyone's gonna be upset swipe your nose like a credit card so why it right on oh god oh my goodness thank you guys so much for joining us this week I had a lot of fun talking about my white ass pussy She's totally clutching her pearls right now. You can see it. Unbelievable. Yeah, you know me. I'm just, I'm like a little, I'm a wilton flower.

Can't get close to me. I wilt if you hit me too hot. All right. I love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us this week. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, and yes, this is the week that I've began. The audiobook of the first book of, the first book of, of twilight, I am immediately sucked the fucking guys.

Oh, no. And you can listen to me and hear me really find myself through Bella's essence on our page 7 Patreon page. Beautiful. I am Holder McNeely. I am sometimes unseen, but you make glimpse a shadow of me on Twitch. Dot TV forward slash Holdenators O. And also, yes, that Patreon, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast.

But I am a mystery, Molly. My name is Molly and I am M.J.K.L. Kat on Instagram. And don't F with her. If you put a mean comment on her Instagram, she will come at you and she will hit you with so many barbs. You will crawl into your hole and essentially cease to exist. She's terrifying. Molly is the one I'm terrified of the most. And if you hear this in time, come join my birthday extravaganza on August 14th. We are doing a big old Jackie's birthday extravaganza on Jacketees. Go to twitch.tv.

forward slash Holdenators Ho at 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time this Friday. We're going to have a lot of fun. And I don't know about you, Holden, but I've got my brandy ready because the brandy bitch is saucy. Randy Bitch really likes dreaming about being a part of the WAP music video. And so please come join us. We're going to have a lot of fun. I love you guys so much. And I'll talk to you next week.

Hell yeah. Take care, everybody. Bye, guys. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.