Page 7 - Ep. 368: Brothy Baby

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

We recap the VMAS, talk about the passing of Chadwick Boseman, and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is JLaw faking being quirky-clumsy?!?!?!Listen to Jackie get horned up to Twilight over on our Patreon page! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

afraid of the ghost. If there's something strange, who are you going to call? And I don't look good. Oh no, then I immediately go into the Requiem for a dream song. No, no, no, no, no. I'm afraid of dying of heroin addiction. I'll tell you that much.

As you should be, welcome to page seven. And I was singing the Ghostbusters theme song in honor of our interview that a beautiful metal flak from our Twitch community got us with Ray Parker Jr. Yes, the singer of the Ghostbuster song. Yes, the man that has done so much in his very prolific career who has got a documentary coming out soon called Who You're Gonna Call? But if you want to watch the interview that we had, that Holden and I had,

you can go to our Patreon page. We posted it there. And my name is Jackie. I'm all wound up. I'm keyed up because we haven't done a show in a couple of weeks. Yeah, and I'm Holden and I'm ready to rock. And I'm Molly and I got the energy of somebody who watched everyone else go on vacation and stayed home. Did you love it?

You've been in still in parent jail with your screaming children. I am love, you know, I haven't left, I haven't been anywhere I can't walk since early March. But I live in a lovely neighborhood with trees and grass. And so I, if I, and I used to live in a much more kind of concrete jungle part of New York City. And so if I'm going to be trapped. Yeah, but isn't that where the dreams are made of because there's nothing you can't lose? New York. That was my Alicia Keys.

You know, you got to just riff when you're channeling Alicia Key. It was better than mine, yes. By the way, I just wanted to throw it is a good time to say, um, the streets are not rife with crime here. This is not a scenario where it's like the. Foot Clan in the Ninja Turtles movie. Man, you guys are getting so butt hurt. It is only New Yorkers that are getting butt hurt because everyone's like, it's not dead.

It's like no one gives a fuck about these headlines except if you live in New York. I just like that they're painting a picture where it's like they're literal like bandits outside like stealing babies from carriage and like it's not like that at all. Also there's always been bandits outside stealing babies in New York. That's New York. Everybody's actually able to go to restaurants. and stuff. It's fun. It's more alive than I think many, many places, Jackie, with your L.A. With your L.A.'s great.

New York was, it went from being like you would see the map and where the, like, you know, the hot spots were and you'd be like, ooh, yikes. New York is not a great place to be right now. And now New York is, I mean, New York, I've never been more in love with New York than I have been throughout this whole pandemic. Even when I wasn't going outside, my biggest feeling was that I missed New York. And I was mad that people didn't miss it. I was like, I'm in New York and I miss it. I want to go out to it.

And now I go outside every day and I am more in love with New York than ever. And the great thing about it now is that I get to be annoyed with it again, like a normal New Yorker. I get to be like, oh, this fucking city is so hot, you know. Yeah, you fuck, I'm screaming again. You fucker, you fire. I'll tell you what, I'm so in love with New York. I sucked New York's dick yesterday. You should.

Now, where is the dick of New York? I think the people want to know. It's Battery Park City. Oh. Oh, gosh. I mean, I guess it depends on what you mean by dick. I think, like, in the way that Florida is the physical dick of the United States, I think Battery Park City is a trash.

I was about to say, I wouldn't suck anybody off in Battery Park. Yeah. You don't go to Battery Park anytime. I think, but Holden's right in terms of, like, spiritually, I think East Village is the dick. Yeah. Spiritually is the penis. I can feel that. Or then someday you will move away from New York and then randomly you will listen to New York State of Mind by Billy Joel.

Whether or not you like. like Billy Joel or not? And you'll cry because I will say there have been a handful of nights that I've listened to New York State of Mind on repeat. And it brings me back to the time when Henry and I got hammered and saw Billy Joel together at Madison Square Garden. And he called out Woodhaven, which is where we are originally from. And we both burst into tears and hugged each other about our town. And now I think about it every time. Why do I associate, I associate Billy Joel with Long Island. Is that fair of me or is that just me being a judgey, a judgey judge? I can know, I mean, Billy Joel is to New York, and this is a, I know that this is a controversial

thing to say, but Billy Joel is to New York as Bruce Springsteen is to Jersey. And as someone that grew up in Queens, that is what you were taught. I love Springsteen. Yeah. But my family doesn't love Springsteen. Okay. You know what I mean? So he's a New York City. I guess I just, Maybe it's because the boyfriend I had who was from Long Island was a huge Billy Joel fan, but maybe it's just the New York area. It's the boroughs. The boroughs love Joel and come fight me. I'll be like that mem.

I've seen the Mimi when they sit at the desk and the Mimi says you come, you have it to say, and then you come and you say it. And I'll say no to that. Yeah, I'm a Mimi. I'm just letting you take this one and just fly. It's like watching those NASCAR videos. with the car literally like flies into the ground. You know what I mean?

You're like, God, those people are dead. Those people are dead. Yeah, like every time that 45 tries to steal my catch raise, you got to be souping me with this. This is the most topical. Going out there saying my soup, bringing up my soup. I know that a couple weeks ago, we got like explicitly talked about like the wonderful movement politics

in the street for the first time really talking politics on page seven, but we're about to talk politics. in a real way because the president of the United States been talking about soup. And the clip, if you've not watched the clip of Trump talking about soup, it watch it. It's the funniest fucking thing you will see until I watched this clip.

He's talking about how protesters are throwing cans of soup and how you can really get a lot of, it's worse than a brick because you can get a lot of weight. You can get a lot of weight behind a can of soup. They get bags of soup, he says. They just carry around the bags of soup and they throw the soup and it's so fucking funny. And I was dying about it.

And then Jackie posted it with her little graphic, her Instagram stamp that says, You got to be souped me. And I- Gotta be soup in me. I wept with laughter. Finally, finally two of my interests, Jackie Zabrowski and criticizing electoral politics have come together. And my life finally makes sense that Jackie is mad at Donald Trump for trying to steal her catchphrase. Finally. Shit talking.

On my catchphrase, you got to be souping me, Mr. You got to be souping me. Can you see the Jackie sing, singing the words of angry Jackie? Oh, my God. It is the music of the Jackie who will not be souped again. And the thing is like, if you hear Trump extrapolating about the soup, it is absolutely not hard to imagine him saying you got to be soup in me. That's why it's so perfect.

that you said he's trying to steal my catchphrase because he didn't quite say the words you got to be soup in me but he was only just a few combinations of words away I was waiting for it I just because because you got to be soup in me is such a nonsensical phrase already I could imagine and saying there's soup and the guts also as someone that has had I have had soup cans of soup thrown at me before excuse me by a roommate that was um definitely had borderline personality disorder. I remember this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was specifically throwing cans, full cans of soup at me. When I came in one night because she was secret drunk, and I didn't know him, but you always knew because she wouldn't actually look you directly in the eyes. She would look right through you. But I'm not going to go down this hole right now. I remember this roommate. Go on. You remember when she threw the soup, too. I was throwing cans and she had to room with the other hand.

You got to be soup in me. wish I had. Because technically then I would have been asking for said soup to be thrown at me, which is what I hope that people don't expect. Every time I say you've got to be soup, not me. I don't want it. I refuse to do live shows with you if this becomes the trend. I will not stand on stage and be pelted with cans of chef boyard.

Or what if I start hiding secret soup? I'll start calling my secret soup. I'll call my SS for SS officer to be like, but not that SS. And I have my secret soup officer. come out. Jackie, you are you need to give me the soup. How are you so uniquely suited to take this on? First of all, your catchphrases, you got to be soup of me. Second of all, you've had cans of soup thrown at you. No one else fits this profile. There is not, I'm going to say it right here, there's not another single person in the United States whose catchphrases, you got to be

soup in me and who has personally had cans of soup thrown at them. Because I'm going to say, despite what Trump said, it's a rare thing. I don't think that there's actually protesters throwing cans of cans of cops in any sort of phenomenological way. And so, So I can't believe that this is something that has actually happened to you. And I have one question, is it worse than a brick? I have never had, I've never been hit with a brick before, but I have fallen into and slam my head on a brick before. And I will say, as someone that's also familiar in getting concussed,

I do think that weirdly enough, and very few times in my life will I ever say this. But I do believe that 45 is correct in saying you'd really get your weight behind it. And you can really, you know what it is? It's the ridge of a can. It's that lit that gets you. The lip always gets you. Yeah. And that liquids, man, they add up.

Liquids make... Oh, do they? Liquids add up. If you start juggling around, I'm telling you, bust out you didn't see Moors. And you start juggling that stoop hard. You're going to be ripped in three weeks' time. Did you know that Rachel Ray,

one of my favorite celebrity chefs, calls it stoop? Oh, I know stoop. You know about stoop. See, I hate say the word stoop. In the same way that I call Jeff Goth daddy because I hate daddy, now to the point that I love referring to someone as a daddy, I have done so with the word stoop because everyone gets upset. If you refer to what you're making as a soup and a stew combo and you call it a stoop, nobody smiles. Everyone hates it.

Except that people love Rachel Ray even though she does this. And I'm like, stoop is an unappetizing word. And I have a personal bias against stew as a concept. I don't like a thick soup. I like a brothy soup, like a ramen or a... Oh, you're a brothy baby. I had no idea. I'm a brothy baby.

I don't like a thick stew. But so the idea of a stoop, it infuriates me... I'm a brothy baby. It infuriates me on a kind of phonic level. Like, it sounds gross and also on a culinary level. No, you know what it sounds, Molly? What's that? It sounds stupid.

All right. You got to be stupid. So much to get into. How are we still talking about this? This is the most whirlwind all over the place episode we have in store. We have such tragedy in this episode. We have glitter utter wonder in this. Balloons.

Balloons. It's unbelievable. We got stooped this. In this episode. Oh, we got, and you got to be soup and me. There are so many different. The articles from this week, from last couple weeks, are all across the board. Number one, we must say.

say, congratulations to Britney Spears. Because it is what we had wished for her, if you listen to the many hours of Britney Spears, pop histories that we did, that her younger sister, Jamie Lynn, has been given control over the conservatorship. Look into this, guys. It is the best possible news.

Jamie Lynn herself is a millionaire. She is doing very well for herself. She doesn't need to steal from Britney Spears, but it's still someone in her family and someone Britney Spears trusts. They get along for two of them? It's exactly what, yes, very well. Good.

And Britney Spears has always shielded Jamie Lynn as much as she could. And now Jamie Lynn is going to come in and help her. And I cried when I read it, which is sad, but I'm empathetic, okay? Yes, I wanted to ask you guys about this. I'm glad, and this was what both of you guys thought would be the best possible outcome, right? Yeah, pretty much.

I mean, I didn't do a ton of legwork on Jamie's deal, Jamie Lynn's deal, but it does on its head, as Jackie just described, come off as the best possible outcome, I think, for Britney Spears. I'm very curious, too. I mean, she's a country singer. She's got a brand new, that show on Netflix, that sweet magnolia. that's her show that was just brought on for another second season. Like she's doing great. I do like that, yeah, I agree with you saying like her success and her monetary value make like just immediately remove that from the equation, right?

And then, and then I think besides that, it's just like, I think my other question is, and I don't quite know yet, what is the reaction from the free Britney movement? Are they super thrilled? Are they going to back down? because that's the other outcome we need at this point is for these fucking nutbags. You know what you mean? This fucking pop canon shit

to go away. Whoa. Yeah, I called them. That's right. Shots fired. I call the free Britney movement. Pop canon. Whoa.

I think it's cute on. But you, whoa. Yeah. And the other day, by the way, too, just to make everybody a little weirded out. I just, I, I, uh, pissed my pants on purpose. I get it, man. I know.

And sometimes he needs to. I don't want to get up. I don't want to go anywhere. You had your little sop hop, and that's what you referred to it as when you sit in your own sop. And sometimes you got to hop around and feel that switch. It was one in the morning. I was watching Jersey Shore. I did not want to stand. So I sat where I was, and I just let it flow, baby. You know what? I regret it. It felt terrible. I felt like some sort of a rascal. Yeah, you are. I'm always saying like, oh, Holden, that.

rascal friend of mine. Well, you know, I've never said that. We're in kind of a good to go back to the New York City conversation. We're in this kind of interesting time in New York City where people can go out and about relatively safely and keep distance and whatnot, but nobody wants to use public bathrooms. So we're in a real renaissance of public pissing, which I appreciate because I've been a big advocate of, you know, pop it and slopping wherever you are.

You got to. And there is no better time to jerk off in a park. It is just amazing out there. As long as you're not anywhere near a playground. I'm not going to endorse taking out your dick for any reason other than to pee quickly and I'm putting it right back. I take it back. I hold a manioli am not into that. Don't do it if you, is it indeed a misdemeanor to pee in the park?

So don't pee in the park in New York. I get it is getting a lawyer husband. A lawyer has waited. Don't pee in the park. You did not hear that advice for me to pee rampantly in the park. But I am saying here in New York City, people are peeing in public and I am pro. You got to get it out there. It's my problem.

And I've said this again. And apparently I have a streaming problem or some sort of projection issue. But I always piss on my feet. Or I piss on someone else's feet if they're close by. Wow. I'm a feet pisser. You got a strong flow? I guess.

Yeah. It's all the water, I think. I'm pretty high. If you guys were wondering. One time I got really drunk and we took a little walk in the neighborhood. This is high school, right? Where you kind of take some shots in secret in like a room and then you go walk around the neighborhood. Oh, I love secret shots.

So I had to go pee and I walked up to this bush and I took a pee and I stepped back and realized that all of the piss ricocheted off of the leaves of the bush back onto my pants. You didn't realize it until the end. Night was completely ruined. I was just drunk with piss all over my pants. Everybody was laughing at me. It was a terrible experience. Oh my God. Why haven't you told me about your peepy ankles?

Yeah, I don't. You love it. I don't. I didn't realize it was a very, it was a very, uh, wide, like the, it was big leaves and it was just a very complicated bush. Just a big. Banana leaves. Bossing right back. It was a weird.

It just was a whole weird thing. You kind of had to get up in it because I didn't want anyone to see my, my, my, my penis. So then I got really into the book. I was like way too far into the bush. Oh my God, you're just like Snooky. I know that this isn't a podcast for it, but you are, because Snooky is also a piss pee.

She's a bush beer. Yeah. And so she's very into bush pissing. We've been watching a lot Jersey Shore here at page seven headquarters. It's kind of taken over. It's all I think of. It's all I've been watching. This is what happens every week.

You guys get a glimpse into, oh, what are they going to do next for Pop History? because we just get so fully obsessed with something. Yeah. But something that I did have been, what? Jackie, what just happened to my mouth? My body. You will not continue saying anything.

I can't believe we haven't asked that question before. What happened to your mouth? Yeah, what did happen to that mouth of yours? My mouth just gave up. I'm sorry. One thing Jackie has also been obsessed with is... Is David Blaine! Oh my God!

The balloon man! It's a fucking believable. You need to spell this out for everyone because if it weren't for you, I would have literally gone my entire life never knowing this happened. So please tell us about every single detail. Molly. Wait, Molly, are you not, you're not like a Blaine head? I'm not a Blainehead. You're not a blainer?

I, in fact, whilst watching this three-hour movie that you guys sent me, I was enraged to see that David Blaine has a TED talk about how he held his breath for 16 minutes or whatever. And TED talks are supposed to be about how you generically lifted yourself up from some adversity. I don't want to hear David Blaine talk about how to hold your breath. How dare you, Molly. He's a daredevil. He's one of the few dare devils we've got, or at least one of the few that I am aware of. No, I definitely, I referred to him as a mentalist yesterday, and Jeff was very, he was like, he's not a mentalist. That's not what mentalist do. I was just like a magic boy?

Is Jeff in a like magic boy? No, he's not a magic boy. In fact, I actually wish he was more of a magic boy. I'm trying to push this on him. He doesn't care about David Blaine, but he, I do, I'm sorry, I don't mean to speak for you, baby. I love you, and I care about you, and I respect you. I will not be tamed. I'm not even going to get into untamed.

tamed right now. We'll talk about it next week. Yes, I'm really untamed. What is the man do with the balloons? What's wrong with your mouth? I mean, my mouth is bad. You've, you took the microphone away from me for a week. And now I'm exploding with things to talk about. You are like me in that bush. You are pissed, you are mouth pissing all over yourself. It's bouncing right back at you. It's a bouncing right back. Unbelievable. I'm sorry, guys. I'm over the place right now. Should I describe what happened? Tell us what David. describe what David Blaine is his first, his first air devil move in eight years.

David Blaine, very much about the, very inspired by the boy with the red balloon and just all those images, you know, up he actually didn't watch until recently, which is kind of funny, but very inspired by that image of the boy holding the balloons, floating into the air as this fantastical, beautiful thing. He decides he wants to do it in real life. So with hydrogen balloons, he lifted up into the sky. like, and essentially the way he had it, he just had this, like, rig attached to, like, his uh, uh, shoulder that was attached to the balloons. And, but the way he made it look, he really made it look like, he was really all about making it look like he was just holding these balloons and floating up into the sky.

To the point where part of the, part of the stunt was that, and that was like the scariest part for me, is that he had to pull down the parachute from kind of within the balloons and manually put it on while like, a thousand, feet in the air more it was like ridiculously high in here it was like 15,000 feet he ended up going to like 25,000 feet but he gets it's unbelievable like there was a lot of cool stuff going on with the actual rig itself and had this like oxygen thing that he pulled down when he got really really high up in the air but he floats way up in the air manually puts on a parachute pack then floats even higher to the point where he's like like testing his own body and the limits of how high you can. I think it was part of a research and development program it became for like the FAA.

It was like this kind of crazy thing like, oh wow, you're actually doing something that's like interesting to study. Really needs to be done. It was a cool research mission as well. I really like David Blaine. And I know that he's not for everybody, but I've always dug the different stunts that he does. I think that it's fun to see how far you can push. human body and he definitely is a person that has explored that. And I do thought, I thought it was

pretty cute, even though obviously very staged, that he had his little girl on. And the last time she saw him do a stunt eight years ago, she was like a baby, baby. And she was terrified because she was watching it happen. And he was like, I stopped because I was going to, I wanted to help you. And I didn't want to put myself in harm's way. And now I'm doing this beautiful stunt for you. And it really was beautiful. And he was dedicated to her. Like in the air he was talking to her.

Yeah, that was cute. He talked to her as soon as he landed. It was like this really beautiful. You know, he was like, I did this all for you. It was very beautiful. And by the way, so he parachutes all the way back down, obviously. You know, he skydives and then parachutes back to the way. But also in between, he's become, I don't know what level and I don't know what the word is for it,

but he's become like an expert level skydiver. He's learned how to man balloon rides, like helium balloon rides and that kind of shit. He put the time in, too. If you look it up, it's on YouTube for free. It's a fun to watch and just a cool thing to look at somebody that was like, I want to do this. And then got all these experts together and did it. Now I'm reflecting on why I think David Blaine is so silly. And I guess I'm not, I just remember like primetime specials when I was a kid.

And it would be like, two hours, a David Blaine's going to hold his breath. And I was always just like, ugh, whatever. But now I'm reflecting maybe that was just me being a hater, as I have acknowledged I was. Molly, you're the biggest fucking hater ever about a lot of. I know, you're always unnecessarily mean. And I get a lot of, I get a lot of Facebook DMs

that I don't tell you about where they're just like, hey, love the show, but can you ask Molly to stop being something fucking great a? Hard, bitch. I have an inner hater. Hater. So I guess my question, I have a couple of questions about the David Blitz. Well, it's a question and a comment. My comment is that I wish that instead of having a parachute to lower him down,

I wish that he had shot darts up into the balloons to pop them one by one so that he could have slowly come down as the balloons popped. But I understand why that wasn't possible. I feel like he actually probably would have come down either too slowly. I wonder if it's the same way as like when you get the bends when you come up. Like you can't come up too quickly. So I imagine has something to do with that because he had so many experts with him that I imagine they would have been able to do something like, more.

fun and dazzling if he was able to. Okay, so that's a good, good... It was cool though seeing him to get up higher. He was loaded with these weights, and you would watch him slowly remove these weights so that he would go higher. That was a lot of fun to see. So that was a bit of the magical thing. I think it was essentially like once they pushed past the like, now let's just see

how high he can go in the sky, once they went there, I think they had to like just do it, you know, skydive into a parachute after that, yeah. So I guess my biggest question, and I didn't watch the full three hours, but I skipped through to get the gist. But what? Jump around. You jump around. Like, because I think that hot air balloons themselves are fairly magical, right? So, like, what was this?

Like, what made this very different than a hot air balloon? It was a lot of balloons. Like, and I know that neither of you are a physicist, but like in his pitch was it, how dare you? I know every. You give me a gravity and I will. drop something and you'll see. I know that this was similar, Molly, and the fact that he did have to learn how to work.

Part of it, part of doing the son was learning, getting a license to fly a hot air balloon. Uh-huh. So it was like rather than, but this was kind of like, first of all, the image was so remarkable and it was more, it was less like, this is something we know how to do, but it was like, this is something that nobody's ever quite done before. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

But it was definitely based in the tech of, and that's why, because people want to say it was a helium thing and it's not, it was a hydrogen. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. Have either of you guys ever been in a hot air balloon? No, I'm a little free. Man, I don't think I would enjoy that. I think I would get freaked out.

I don't understand. I really kind of want to. I'm scared of everything and I feel like I wouldn't be scared, but I feel like it's like anything. The second you get into the basket, then you're like, get me out of the biscuit. I don't want to be in the biscuit anymore. I'm not big at dangling heights at this point in my life. At one point I was cool with it, but not anymore. You have ridden one, Molly?

So in college, I studied abroad in, I've probably mentioned this on the show before, but I studied abroad in Prague. And my second weekend there, my host mom was like, we're going to the country for, like, my friend is like a, works for like a huge corporate cell phone company. And there's like a corporate retreat that we're, like, crashing with her. And I was like, great. And so we went.

But then my host mother proceeded. to only speak check with her friends, and everyone only spoke Czech the whole weekend, and everyone just forgot that I was there, and that I didn't speak any check. And so every, and it was like this really, really well-funded corporate retreat,

but everything was like a huge surprise for me. We would just, like, get in the car, and then there would be like horses, and then we'd get in the car, and then there would be, like, ATVs. And so there was all these, like, different events throughout the whole weekend, but nobody would tell me what was going to happen

because they were all speaking in check. And so then it, like, culminated with, we got in the car, and we went to a field full of, hot air balloons and no one was speaking to me in English and so I was just like I guess I'm going in a hot air balloon and it was terrifying. It was like incredibly beautiful but it was extreme you are just fucking in a basket flying through the sky and then when you land again no one imagine no one is telling you what's going to happen and when you land you just like kind of slowly but but quickly

crash into the ground it's like a real yeah it's it's it's it's Did it hurt your knees? There's like a protocol for when you land. I don't think that it hurt, but it was really, I was like, we're creating into the ground. Like, and no one was explaining shit to me. I'm sure, I'm sure it would have had lasting damage if you weren't like that young. You know what I mean?

Yeah. You had that like younger, more able to bounce back body back then. So it was like. I'm just very proud of you because I feel like if I was in a situation like that and wasn't ready for it, I would rag doll. I'd be like, no. And just like lay on the ground. and just pretend like, and just make them pick me up

and forcibly put me into the basket. Just to see if honestly, they could pick me up if I dead weight. I was like down for whatever, so I was like, all right, I guess, I mean, I was terrified, but also, like, now if you showed me a hot air balloon and in check told me like, we're getting in the hot air balloon, I would be like, no. But at the time, I was like, okay.

And so I did it. But I mean, if you get, and I'm not like somebody who's, like, afraid of heights, but I'm also somebody who doesn't really like to contemplate heights. And when you're in a hot air balloon, you've got a lot of time to contemplate heights. Yeah. Right. Right.

All right. Let's talk about sad stuff. Oh, you want more sad stuff? Because I was going to talk about the VMAs. You'd rather to, you want to just talk about Chadwick Postman and get it over with. Because I cried for hours. Yeah, yeah. We have to talk about it, but it makes me incredibly sad.

Horrible news. We lost real life superhero. We lost a real life superhero. It is one of those times. that I think that now, especially in working in pop history, it's taught me so much about people's lives and how people recognize them afterwards. And it's very few times, honestly, that you see only positive things from the internet that is filled with evil about a human being that has passed like they did with Chadwick Boseman. It is what a loss. What a loss.

And I didn't, I mean, and no, so many people. I didn't know. I know that he had put it in, like, slightly, but most people didn't know that he was dying. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't realize he was dying. I knew that he had been diagnosed,

but I wasn't aware of how quickly this horrible form of cancer was going to take him. And it is just, what a loss. Yeah. And in watching all of these, just the beautiful things that he has done for so much. many people and he was just a truly good human being. I'm not going to cry about it right now.

You're super going to cry about it right now. I might cry about it right now. The numbers go up and you cry, so you better do it. That's not true. No one likes to hear a big chubby woman crying. Yeah, they scream more, more. It's going to be just like water for chocolate. And then I'm going to cry it to the wine.

Then every time anyone around me drinks wine, they're going to cry too. All right. Go back to the balloons. Now back to the balloons. What about the balloons? I just wanted to say, please, if you haven't yet, just look up all of the many instances where it is very apparent that not only is Chadwick Postman, amazing as being the first true, the huge black superhero,

as well as just being a normal, very good person to everyone around him, that like you would assume that's something like that in such a huge, just a huge role to be placed on your shoulders that a lesser man would not have been able to uphold it and he did. And that is something that is so beautiful that you just very rarely see. And I cried a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

It was just another blow and during a rule. I would say it pretty, you know, questionable year. I'll just say it's questionable. You know what I mean? In terms of being shitty. And it was like to think about Black Panther like, like, I just spent so much time of thinking about like when Black Panther came out. And it was like how it was like unlike any other superhero movie, how it was just so

like impactful and so powerful and like meant so much to like to so many people and for black people in particular to have this like. real, I mean, it just, it was just such an incredible film, and he was such an incredible Black Panther, and it was, yeah, just, like you said, Jackie, he's just such a massive loss. And it was like, my first reaction, I was like, but he's just so, like, young and talented and hot. Like, how is this possible? And then I had to, like, engage with it on a deeper level.

But it was, it was, yeah, it's just, you know, it's just one of those things when a really young and amazing celebrity dies where you're like, I don't, I don't, I don't, how is that possible, but then with him there was just this like extra element of all of the depth of what he brought as an actor. Now, everybody who's super bummed out right now, just go watch Bill and Ted face the music. It'll bring you right back. Come back, see us when you're done. And then that or watch any of what they tried to do with the VMAs.

I was weirdly, I was shocked and kind of impressed and also let down, I guess. I didn't know what to expect from the VMAs. The VMAs was last weekend, and it was the first of the social distancing of our new life of what an award show could be. Man. And it was very – I was interested because they are trying, and I think that's cool. Anytime I see like a movie or any kind of an event that's like, well, you know what? They're trying something, and they definitely tried a lot with this with performers performing on many different locations, all of the dance. and the performers had masks on, which I can't even imagine that.

And it was very, with the weird green screen fake sounds of the audience, it felt like I was watching Running Man. It's very unsettling, but also beautiful. Jackie. How do you guys feel about it? Clearly, you have not been watching professional wrestling. Oh, my God. I have, actually.

I have because my roommate watches it. So I... It's so weird. There's no audience in wrestling. There's none, but they don't even fake having an audience. It is just silently. Oh, you haven't seen the new version though, Jackie. Oh, no, I haven't seen the new version.

Now, they have these giant screens that's essentially just a bunch of Zoom call faces as the audience. And it's real people. It is so bananas looking. That's like what they did at the DNC. They had like... Yeah. Like, they would have... have like a politician speak and then they would cut to a screen full of Zoom faces that

were all silently clapping. But they're on actual screens, massive screens. There's like weird rows of them that are surrounding the wrestlers, these big faces. And it's wrestling fans. So there's plenty of problematic things happening on these screens. And it's just so bananas. It is so dystopian and so crazy. I don't know what's crazier. Then no one of in the audience or wrestling or this, which is just like, I don't know. So surreal. That's my thing too.

Like, I feel like it's weird to be like, I'm performing and there's no audience and I'm looking right at the camera. But it's even weirder to like pretend that there is an audience or to be like we're performing. It's, yeah, it's, there is no good, like many things in the pandemic, there are no good choices. Yeah. But I'm happy that they're trying something.

You know, it's like, all right, well, we still want to do this. I'm weirdly moved. We're going to have to figure it out. Yeah. And like seeing around the world, like the different instances of social distance, concerts and stuff like that that are happening. And I know that the mimi's say like, oh, as an introvert, I'd rather it like this. And honestly, I'd rather it like that.

I'd rather have space that I'm not directly in. The social distance concerts, I'm down to keep forever. That's why I'm completely into it. Everyone 35 plus is like, I'm down for the social distance to stay. Those little, like, boxes, those little, like, boxes that you hang out in. Oh, my God. It looks amazing. It looks great.

And I also really, and I loved, of course, Lady Gaga's outfits at the VMAs. Fantastic. But how she tied in the masks into everything. Yeah, that was really cool. Dude, she looked like a sexy version of, oh, I forget his name right now. In Mad Max Fury Road, the bad guy in it. I know exactly what you're talking about it. Like she looked like with all of the tubes and everything.

That's what she looked like, but it's a sexier version of it. And I was like, hell yeah. I was fucking, oh. I mean, I already wanted to fuck that. guy in Mad Madman. I wanted to pick his scabs and, yeah, have sex with him. So to see her do.

I don't think you'd want me. I've found myself weirdly moved by like, it's evolved, right? Like I know that I said on the show that I will never watch a Zoom my lottery dream home and that's still true. But I like way back in the early times

of the pandemic, I watched a Zoom version of my favorite cooking show, The Kitchen, which is like usually in real life is a show where five chefs who clearly hate each other all get together and cook together and have to like small talk and banter and they're clearly like angry with one another and maybe drinking and like that is my favorite part of it and then they did a Zoom version and I found myself like kind of like weeping silently like oh they're

really trying so like something about people trying to do it to make it happen now is like there's always been kind of touching except when sometimes I see a show that I'll absolutely watch a normal version of. And then when they do a Zoom version, I'm like, nope. Like, they're doing date line zooms now. Like, I have a weird thing for, like, date line stupid true crime magazine stuff. And they're doing, like, a date line zoom where the guy, like, the silly guy who interviews people in a dateline is now, like, watching it on his laptop.

And then it cuts to him being like, oh, this was my favorite moment when the killer almost confessed. And the guy he has one where he sits on his couch with his son and they watch, like, existing guys grocery games and he and the center like oh i like this part and i will watch that oh i like that's the thing same with the vmAs and even with the dnc like it's like this is so weird and awful but like it's it's interesting and kind of nice to see people try you know we're all trying and i am curious to ask you jacky in particular what do you think of uh mylie's new stuff how are we feeling love love love love

I love it. I love it. And I loved the performance of rain on me. I really, you know, I'm a stun. I ston my Lys Cyrus. And I really, you know what? She's going through a lot to publicly go through not only the divorce and then the, having a little chippy on the side or a cookie, if you will, like in the Jersey Shore. I'm so glad she's done with that guy.

I just hate looking at that guy. But I also, you know what? Someone that went through a bad breakup and then immediately started. I'm not going to say dating. I'm going to say having sex with someone that was. Just straight up sex with somebody that was, I'm going to say, reputable at best. I was around during this time and I was like,

Jackie, do your thing. But I'm going to go ahead and say this guy is a snooze to the lose. And if he's listening right now, I don't care because he's probably drunk, so forget about this. He really wanted to have a lot of sex, though. And I was completely into it. And so I get it. And to have to publicly go through that kind of stuff.

And now, girl, you're just like the reckon ball again, except on top of some sort of disco ball. Yeah. I thought that was a little interesting. I didn't know if it was supposed to be like a throwback, but I think that Midnight's Guy is a great song. Do you dig it? I dig it.

And the video is like, actually, I don't normally find Miley Cyrus to actually be that sexy, sexy. But she is definitely showing them legs off in that video in a way that makes me go, wow, I should go to the park right now. No, don't. Oh, don't do it. You can't go to the park right now. Go to the park.

Stay home. Stay home. Stay home. Hashtack, stay home. And you can touch yourself all you want. And it's great. I'll just change my Zoom background to a park. And then it'll be, and then I live through it that way.

See, that's kind of fun. Stay home to keep yourself safe from the law. Yes. Fear the law. And I am very excited because soon, very soon, the meaning of Mariah Carey is going to be out. And yes, we are talking about Mariah Carey's memoir that she is also doing her own audiobook for.

I'm very excited about it. But so now in the news, we're going to be seeing a lot of Mariah Carey news because it is all the publicity up until not only is her book coming out, but also she's got some Apple, I believe it's Apple Plus Christmas special coming out, which I, will you hold it. McNeely, I will roll those eyes into the back of your head.

I saw him roll his eyes. You guys didn't see it, but I caught it. I will roll him into the back of your head. I am excited. Oh, God, and now he's doing over Skype when they have the dumb slow clapping smiley face. I hate the slow clapping smiley face. Oh, I hate it so much.

I'm not going to roll. That is, I don't condone violence. I would never roll your eyes into the back of your head, Holden. But I would say if you would like to hurt a man in a park, I do condone that. That's where you go. You go to the park to do it. Go to the park, do everything illegal. So Mariah Carey, I need to talk about this story just real quick because we have conspiracy

corner this week. I have a big conspiracy to deal with after this. But I needed to just say this because I know that we've been back and forth on how we feel. I guess we haven't been back and forth on how we feel about Ellen DeGeneres, But I've been back and forth about what's going on with everything with the Ellen DeGeneres show. And then you hear a story like this that really upset me. Yeah, this story is like bananas. It's yucky.

So Mariah Carey came out. And she was like, well, I don't, what I love it to is she's like, I don't want to throw anyone under the proverbial bus. But she definitely is throwing Ellen under the bus. Because so, all right, cut two. It is seven months after she had married Nick Cannon. And there was all these rumors out saying that she was pregnant. And before the show, you know when you're asked on a show, usually the host or the writers or a PA, they will ask or your agents are usually talking to them. They say, oh, is there anything that you don't want us to talk about?

And she had said she didn't want to talk about the pregnancy rumors. And because unbeknownst to the staff of the Ellen Show as well as the world is, that she had been pregnant and she had recently had a miscarriage. So she didn't want to talk about it. Completely understandable. So what does Ellen do, even though she was told not to, and I'm assuming that this is Ellen, is that she was on the show and Ellen started asking her about it. And Mariah Carey's like, I don't really want to talk about this. And then she's like, well, do you drink? And she pulled out a bottle of champagne. And Maria Carey's like, oh, no, it's fattening. I'm not going to do this. You know, she's making all these excuses.

And she's like, well, you're saying you're not pregnant. So why don't you take a, have a sip of champagne with me? And that fucking sucks. Mess up, that immediately made me be like, next, no, not okay. That is disgusting. I don't, I don't appreciate that. It made me so upset that is not okay. And so, of course, she does.

And what a disgusting thing to do to another human being. It doesn't matter what person does a matter if they're a celebrity. It doesn't matter. You don't do that to somebody. There are so many reasons not to do that to somebody. Even putting pregnancy aside, like that's a gross thing to do in terms of somebody. You don't force somebody to do anything. And you don't force somebody to drink.

No matter what you think there are pregnancy statuses, like, that's so fucked up regardless. But then especially to be like, oh, it's such a violation. When I read that, I was like so furious on Mariah Carey's behalf, which I'm going to say the first time I really truly felt that emotion on behalf of Mariah Carey. I just, I was, so she had just said this story in the vulture interview that just came out with her. And I needed to just at least bring it up because yuck. So if you're on the fence about Ellen DeGeneres, and again, she might, like, it's hard because I'm aware of the fact that, of course, there's many people to get to Ellen DeGeneres, that I don't know what screwed up, quote unquote. I'm trying to even protect her, that maybe she just had no idea. but how?

It's one on the short list of things she doesn't want to talk about. It's just such a thing everyone should know it's like the whole are they are they not pregnant thing? Just let them announce it on their own time is there can be so many very tragic, very sad things they can go into that

or they're just overweight. Yes, it's so messed up. And then that's its own thing. It is so, there are, yes, there are like layers of offensiveness to demanding to know whether someone is pregnant and to like, you know, if somebody, if you ask someone if they want to drink at a party and they say no, don't ask why,

just be like, all right. So to like force someone to drink is like so messed up. Again, even if she wasn't pregnant. Like this, and yeah, like maybe that was some writer's choice, but I feel like that's got to come down to, whether or not it was Ellen's choice, the buck stops at her. She should have been like,

Like, I'm not going to do this, you know? Right. Yes. And it is, I just, I was so upset. So I just wanted to let y'all know. I'm a little alert here. I'm a little troubadour. Well, you know what?

I'm upset too because I think the J-law fakes her falls. That's right. Bump, bum, conspiracy. That is right. Jennifer Lawrence, she's just like us. And we all know that. She's just like us. It's so fun.

She loves. She likes a burger on a Wednesday. and she watches her friends on tea or she watches the show friend whatever she's fucking like us get off my back screaming at me these days all right still i'm in vacay mode still okay oh god but either way either way it all starts with the fall scene around the world wearing a beautiful strapless dior gown jennifer lawrence took the stage to accept her trophy at the 2013 oscars when she collapsed a pounce to the stairs how embarrassing She's just like we are.

She's just like we are. She falls down too. Or is she? Again, in 2014, J-Law collapses on the red carpet. Oh, M.G., I do that too. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's just like Bella and Twilight.

I know this now. Unbelievable. And yet again, Lawrence, at the Madrid premiere of one of those Hunger Games movies, tumbled to the ground just like that Berlin Wall, baby. and now I'm getting a little suspicious, aren't I? Hmm, three falls. Exposing a fake is what I titled this next one.

Did you write this one yourself? Oh yeah. A writer for New York Magazine named Veronica Highland? Veronica maybe, I think I feel either way. They might have a weird name. Who Gives a shit? Hyland is the last name,

said, wrote this. In the footage of the event, though need I remind you, we also have footage of the so-called, quote, moon landing, Lawrence appears to be bent over, trying to free her high heels from the hymn of her Ralph Lauren gown. It's only when an army of, in parentheses,

surely well paid off, in parentheses, handlers has fully surrounded her that she mimes the most brief and undramatic of collapses. At which point, the camera conveniently pans away. Even after several Zapruder-style clothes, swatches of the suspiciously shaky video, no more clues were forthcoming. Whoa.

Hyland believes that she has a personal fall choreographer and notes that though there were assloads of photographers present, there was no photographing evidence of Jennifer Lawrence hitting the floor. Oh my God, she's not just like us. This last portion is... Thought she was just like us, but she's not just like.

Not. Do you have a professional fall? choreographer that works with you every day? Maybe I do. I'm quirky, but only in very small, minute ways so that people can identify me of who I am. So when you see me eat in a whole bag of Reese's peanut butter bats at 2 o'clock in the morning in my bed because I put them in the freezer, know that someone told me to do it. Okay, you're not like anyone. I'm not like anybody else. This last little bit I titled, Again, question mark, explanation point. question mark and i literally just wrote this because i was getting furious while doing this work dude and then again in all caps she falls at the red carpet premiere for the x-men apocalypse

in london in 2016 fucking whatever whoa she is full of shit dude it's a whatever from me doug bird yeah that's a whatever for me as well jacky do how many whatevers do you give this one out of 18 whatever. At 18 whatever's, I'm going to give it, I'm going to give it 12.5 whatever. Is that a 18? I think that's about the amount. I think it's pretty high amount of whatever. Certified fresh.

I don't know what else. I'm going to assume a fall choreographer also is like a fight choreographer. So is it that she has like some sort of teaching stunt team and she has the money for it. So is she just like us? I'm going to say that I think that that first one, the 2014 one was real. was real. And then everyone found it so fucking endearing that she was like, I'm just going to keep falling

and she didn't know when to stop. Yes. That I completely can see. I agree with you. 12.5, whatever. Because, like, she went from being like, oh, this hot, you know, so-and-so to being like this hot relatable so-and-so.

Like, that fall endeared her around the world. Yes. Well, especially it made her more, yes, because after like Winter's Bone, when everyone's like, who is this young person that is such a good actress? and then she needed to show that she could still hang. You know, like she's got her girlfriends.

Did you know that she gets drunk with her girlfriends? That's nuts. All right. I think we're all on the same page on this one, which means Jackie, I'm going to throw it over to you. It guess that it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list.

Ooh, we've got another rendition of our celebrity. who hated the characters that made them famous. Now, this one had some fun ones on it that I had never seen on one of these before, so I wanted to get into it. And thank you so much to the amazing person that sent this to me on Twitter because you were right,

there is some great hot goss in here. Like, Molly, this goes out to you. Uh-oh. Penn Badgley as Joe in you. So apparently, Penn Badgley does not like playing the main character of the show you. He says that he is not a good guy. He's also fully aware that many fans have developed a crush on Joe regardless.

And he's not a fan of that. And actually makes me like Penn Badgley even more. That's exactly what I was going to say. Like this made me like, somehow it made me like the show more. To be like, this guy knows that he, at least the actor playing this total anti-hero knows that he is not supposed to be. at all liked by anybody. And, like, he is, you know, like a violent character.

And so the fact that he has been, like, super outspoken about, like, domestic violence and all this stuff and is, like, don't like this character is actually makes the entire thing more interesting and better to me. Yes. And even in an interview with Vanity Fair about the second season, he talked about how his further dislike of Joe saying he's always saying, if only I could show you who I really am. Up until that point, he had never been able to do that. Then he gets it and he's a total dick about it. That was when I was like, Joe, I've never liked you less. I've never liked you less. And I like that

he also says it twice because he's very cute and it makes me want to kiss him. Not as Joe, but as Penn Badgley. I want to keep going on the list, but just a super deep gut for anyone is in the same boat as me. Now I'm watching Hannibal and I now my memory of Joe, which I actually think is a good character, especially as this actor understands him, has been like, it's been saved over by the character of Will Graham from Hannibal, which I like the show Hannibal, but I don't think that Will Graham in that version of Hannibal is an especially good character. So anyway, I'm upset because I feel like I don't like the character of Will Graham on Hannibal, the television show. And he's so similar to the character from you, but not as complex to me.

So anyway, that is a deep cut for you. No, I'm with you a thousand percent. There's lots of characters like that out there that you love to hate. And I think it would be weird if someone really, unless it was like a meaty villain character. But like with that dude, there's nothing redeemable about Joe from you. There's nothing. It's just like, you're just yucky and you're just going to go from place to place and brutalize people because you can. Shows with anti-heroes can be very good.

Obviously, Breaking Bad is like the best example of a show with an anti-hero, but people got to know they're an anti-hero, not a hero. Right. Then also this is a, this kind of blew me away because you know how I feel about Mandy Patinkin. And that is that I love him and I would love him to death if I could. And apparently Mandy Patinkin really hates his character on criminal minds, Jason Gideon. I don't really know criminal minds. Did you watch it?

Oh, I did watch criminal minds. I definitely watched criminal minds. But he did leave the show in 2007 after the second season, which is when I stopped watching criminal minds. And everyone was shocked when he left. But he said that taking on the roll was the biggest public mistake I ever made. He said, I thought it was going to be something very different. I never thought they were going to kill and rape all these women every night, every day.

week after week, year after year, it was very destructive to my soul and my personality. Wow. After that, I didn't think I would get to work in television again. Good for him. That's a big good for him. Well, for him. Because there are many good shows premised on violence and violence against women, but sometimes I just get to the point where I can't do it anymore.

Like the show, Lufa with Idris Elba, which I was so excited to watch because I love Idris Elba, and it was just so much. And I shouldn't even put that show on blast because there's a, million worse shows than that. But sometimes, like, the fall is another one where it's like a really very good critically acclaimed show, which I don't think criminal minds is. But, like, there can be a very, very good shows that are just all about violence against women.

And I just got to the point where I was like, I can't do this anymore. I get it. And especially playing it and doing it every day, I imagine really takes its toll on you. And in the opposite way, Allison Williams's Marnie and Girls hated her. character. And I, that also, again, just another one, makes me like Allison Williams even more. I hated all of the characters. Me too. I hate girls. So I could not, I tried to watch that show. And I was like, I don't fucking like these people. And I don't understand why they get to be on TV every week. Yes. And that she said Marnie would drive me crazy if I were friends with her in real life. But I have

to put that out of my head in order to play her. Like sleeping with Elijah. Sorry, spoiler alert, is crazy. Sleeping with Ray is crazy. Fierously hitting on Desi when he mentions his girlfriend in their first conversation is crazy. But I have to be on the couch with her and Elijah hoping they fuck. I have to be in that apartment with Ray

kind of wanting it to happen. And I have to support her quest for Desi. And that's got to really drive you crazy. This is one though, and this will be my last one from the list for this week. Because it hurts my fucking soul. Because Robert Pattinson hates being ever...

calling Twilight but there is a distinction here. I'm a Twy baby now, okay? And you need to get used to it. There is a distinction here I think in this contained within this very list which is actors who don't like the character

but they are a well-developed character but the actor is like I wouldn't want to like hang out with that person like people shouldn't admire this person but they're a well-developed character like the character Joe from you and I have never seen girls. I've purposely avoided it,

but it sounds like that, like Alison Williams doesn't like the development of the character. I can't speak to whether she's a well-developed character or not. But it's Robert Pattinson hates the character because of what that character did to him in his career, right? Like, and like, But what did it do to his career?

All he does is play great roles. Yeah. I mean, I think for a while, though, it was, like, going to be, it was tough for him to, I think, get out from under. But he was also Cedric Diggery. This is the thing. He was also.

Also Cedric Degri, okay? He didn't want to be the sexy dude. I understand that he doesn't want to be sexy characters. That's not his thing. But bitch, you made lots of money being Cedric Degri, and you made a lot of money being Edward Cullen and Twyley. And if you are what I'm going to think about, when I have my vampiric sexual fantasies,

you better like it. There's a third category, by the way, of people who obviously wouldn't like their role because the movie was fucking horrible, such as Kelly Clarkson and Justin Gorini in from Justin Kelly, which is notoriously a terrible film. Yeah, and Amelia Clark in Terminator Genesis.

Share in for less. The character is just bad. Yes. As opposed, like a bad character as opposed to being like a bad person in the universe. Yeah, right. Yeah. It's like, yeah, these movies bombed. Of course, you don't like that you were in that movie Mariah Carey as

herself in glitter. Like, these are all like notoriously. George Clooney and Batman or Robin. These are beloved things. These are things that's like, yeah, I would hate to be in the happening too, Mark Wahlberg. Which is why the Penn Badgley thing is more interesting because he's not like, oh, I wish I had never done this show. He's like, no, no, no, I did this show. It's about a violent man.

And then people started like standing the violent man. And he's like, no, don't stand this guy. And that makes him a more interesting actor. Yes. Yes. Totally. And I do. I understand and wanting to like separate yourself and also being trapped then as, you know, and I imagine, especially right after doing Twilight, he probably was scared that he was never going to get anything except for that kind of role ever again. And that's got to be very upsetting as someone that wanted to like knows he's talented and wants bigger and better things. And then you know what? You watch the Batman trailer and you're like, well, you're probably going to fucking be one of the best Batman's. Yeah, he's so perfect to be just a sad little Batman.

You know, just get sadder. Like, I thought that Affleck was going to be the saddest Batman, and then they got Robert Patton, even sadder. It's going to be, I mean, I don't know if you've seen the trailer, but of course, it looks great. I still have a stick up my ass because I wish that they had given the role of the penguin to someone that was actually a fat character actor, but that is fine.

I'm sure Colin Farrell would do a good job. but that's just my own thoughts and that's it for the list for today and my own thoughts are that are oh my god I think I'm my sight is escaping me and that is a weird thought to have

where I can smell really good and I can taste no covo I can taste really good because I could taste the white claw so covo no covo back and I can hear great I hear you two

just piercingly. Okay. But my sight is odd to the point where I think I'm going. Blind! I don't. Oh my God, guys. I got some blind items for you.

How blind? I want to hear how blind we are. Are they? Because she hates the Papps, but has the thirst, this three named A-list actress hires a professional photo agency to show her working in her store. When a photographer is scheduled is the only time she actually works.

Who's got a flagship store in New York City right now? Three names. That's three names. Flag right now? Shoes. I'll just say one word. Shoes. Horse.

I'll also say the word horse. Horse? Shoes. Are they shoes for horses? A person who's many times compared to a horse. The notorious... Oh, Sarah Jessica Park? Yes, notoriously love shoes.

Oh. Oh, wait, she's not actually working in this store. I didn't realize she had her own line of shoes, which that does make a lot of sense. She's got SJP stores all over the place. Whoa. And it's like, I think it's mostly shoes. And you actually see her like playing the part of Al Bundy from married with children,

like sliding the shoe on her knees onto a lady's foot. Oh, no, she don't do that. And I, that's not what she does. I'm going to assume she doesn't normally do that unless they paid photographers. Oh, this is why I knew. See, I knew all about these shoes because they mostly, they sell them a lot at Neiman Marcus, which of course I visit

twice a week and I go to every Nordstrom between here and I don't even know fancy stores. All right, I'm trying to say fancy store names and I don't know. It's all I can think about is the final episode of I can't remember if it's the finale of season six or if it's the movie

where Big puts the shoe on her foot and now the rolls have been reversed. Reverse. Now the shoes on the other fight! Oh, thank you. I can't believe I missed that. It was hanging right in front of my fucking face. Or should I say who?

Or should I say her? Oh, no. Honestly, horses are stronger than her physically. I have always thought she's very beautiful. I just think it's hilarious that people do that. It's such a horrible thing. She's so beautiful. Yeah, she is so beautiful.

It's such a ridiculous. It's such a dumb one. Plenty of reasons to be annoyed by Sarah Jessica Parker, if that's your thing besides calling her a horse. Yeah, I want to, I will say that one of my more famous roundtable lines that gets quoted in those Facebook threads is stop beating a dead Sarah Jessica Parker. It's pretty fun. Oh, back in our drunk days.

Yeah, back when I was a bad person. Now I'm magically good. Now you're good. And I'm not evil secretly. So don't write those mean things about me and your secret groups online. Okay, this next one. This A plus list mostly movie actor likes his flint. with D-list reality stars and IG models to always be not for public knowledge.

So the move by his latest fling to get publicity is not going to sit well with the actor. Brad Pitt. I was going to say, this is a story. I can't believe you didn't put in the list. I didn't put it in because I also, I do feel weird about being like, did you see Brad Pitt dating a German model where it's like, oh, but so many good tweets about being like, yes, if Brad Pitt wanted to date my wife, I find out I'm also in an open marriage.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It was like somebody else. It was like, because this is the whole thing. I think the notable thing about this is. Brad Pitt met, the 27 year old model at her husband's restaurant in Berlin.

Yikes. The husband is 68. The husband is 68. They are in an open relationship and he is friends with Brad Pitt. And that is the crazy. And then I saw another tweet that was just like, so this is worst case scenario, right, for that guy. Right?

I mean, like literally like, yeah, That is the worst. I wouldn't be able to swing my dick around. I'm this restaurateur. And it's like, okay, cool. Brad Pitt just called. He wants to have just a day of sex with me.

Like a lot of sex with me. So I gotta go. It's the worst. Another very good tweet is the idea that the husband said, oh yeah, sure, honey. Your celebrity pass can be Brad Pitt. Yeah, L-O-L. Yeah, exactly. All right, fine.

I'll put you're on the, you know, he's on the list. All right, sure. I kind of, I kind of did like the, the constant blind items about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt possibly reuniting. And this clearly, I feel like puts the nail on that constant. But also, it could just be like a fling, you know, it's like, she's in an open marriage. Maybe they're just like in an open thing that it could just be like, oh, they're just fucking. Could you imagine a decade ago being married to a man that is almost 70 years old? Me?

Like you, a decade ago, essentially, right? Or I guess you're not as old as me, but, you know, still in your late 20s. You would have been great with that? I would be very into it. But as long as you can have the open marriage, if that is something that both people are down with, and Brad Pitt knows the score, then have that. Oh, he knows the score.

Yeah, he knows that. He has had so much fucking crazy sex with that broad. Yeah, dude, get it. Beautiful. All right, this last one is also fun and definitely hits towards the heart of the two of you. It involves something, the both of you are passionate about.

This A-list actor, if you watch his show, which you two do, and former teen actor as well, he is, has been hooking up with a new castmate after dumping the last one he was using. Yes, there was lots of crossover. Oh, and he sometimes hooks up with another actress on the same network, but a superhero show that films in the same city. Okay, so it's obviously... Well, how do you? I don't think it's cheating anymore because Cole Spouse is broken up with Lily Runner.

Okay, they're broken up. Is it Cole Spouse? Oh, yeah. Colesbrows. Are we calling him a former teen actor, though? I guess that's fair because of... Well, after the time jump, technically, he will be acting his age. So I think...

Also, Holden, I'm gonna fucking go ahead and say this right now. I'm fine with the time jump. They're jumping ahead seven years, and I think it's gonna be pretty fun. Okay. I'm glad you think it's fun. You really sound like you think it's gonna be fun. And also, though, Molly, alert, alert. Riverdale's not coming back until January.

January. Let them take time to make it good. Yeah. Well, they're not going to do that, though. I apologize. I also need to pause this real quick, not actually pause the show, but I did just see that Variety just released

that Pretty Little Liars is getting a reboot from the creator of Riverdale. What? We made this happen. And I need to say it, It's going to be on, I think it's going to be on HBO. No, HBO Max has pretty little liars right. I am reading this right now, so I'm not sure.

Dude. But I just, I wanted to get you excited because now I'm very excited. Honestly, I'm sorry, but page seven is a culture influencer. You guys made the Britney Spears thing happen. That's my opinion, not your opinion. And we did it. Now we, through our merging of page of a. Trump's talking about soup.

We did it. Trump's talking about soup. And through our relentless conversation about Pretty Little Liars and Riverdale, we have merged the two. We are such influencers. It's amazing. We are the influencers. We are the late 30s. No one gives a fuck about influencers.

Well, let's not say late 30s. Well, clearly you also both influence the breakup of Cole Spouse and Lily Reinhardt. By the way, the other person they mentioned was Rachel Matthews from Batwoman. And I'm not sure who they were referring to when it comes to the kids. castmate that Cole has been hooking up with what I will say. Who do you think the castmate is? The Redhead. I hope it's a KJIPA. I just want to say that it's reflective of what I think when I hear former teen star and I knew it was Riverdale obviously, but I was like, it's got to be Skeet Oreck. But obviously I was a couple of generations behind. Right, right. So Cole did announce his

official breakup with Lily Reinhardt on Instagram on August 19th of this year. He said, Lily and I initially separated in January of this year, deciding to more permanently split in March. What an incredible experience I had. I'll always feel lucky and cherish that I had the chance to fall in love. I wish her nothing, but the utmost love and happiness moving forward. All I'll say about it, anything else you hear doesn't matter. Then he went on to say, I really like Batwoman's yabas. And I would be fascinated by attending her body, which is, I think, an interesting way to wrap it up. about the yabas. It's all he says.

I wish nothing but the best for you. Yeah, it is. Adele, you're the reason why I'm reading Untamed. Well, don't worry, she's having sex with Prince Harry's, but that's another story for another day because I've regained my sight. It is back, and Blind Adams have finished. Thank you. Welcome back Holden's eyes, and this is, has been, welcome back to the show.

Don't worry. We're not taking any more vacations. We will be here every single week. Now, before we go today, I did want to give a couple quick shoutouts to, I want to give out a shoutout to Godhammer Six. From Northern Ontario and Canada, I just wanted to say thank you so much for giving us the update. And guys, in case you were wondering, they are still filming Hallmark Christmas movies. Don't worry. Hopefully we will get new ones by Christmas because he is from.

the town where a lot of the Hallmark movies are shot and he said they are going right ahead with the Christmas movies and he wanted to let us know that we shouldn't be upset because hopefully we will get the weirdly forced LGBTQ plus plot lines that they are including because I'm going to watch it and I love I appreciate that they listened but I do think it will be funny because I do think that it will be based on the same white, blonde stereotypes that they are going to now add to the LGBT-plus community. And you know what? I'm going to watch the fuck out of it. 100%.

And also, I love that Hallmark is like, we too have an NBA-style bubble where we just film regardless. And we are safe. We are like the NBA. They are doing it. And I also wanted to give a great shout out to the amazing fiancé Rob. from a very stressed out bride, Katie, they are desperately trying to plan a wedding during all of this, and I imagine it's very difficult.

I've got a good friend of mine that is also in the middle of planning a wedding right now and having to go look at venues and trying to figure this shit out where everything is closed down, but they're trying to give small businesses money. I know that this is something that is a huge stressor, and I just want you both Katie and Rob to know

that we love you very much and that we wish you only positive energy towards the creation of your wedding. You've been together for eight years, which is beautiful and amazing, and if you can make it through this goddamn quarantine, you can make it through setting up this wedding. I believe in it.

Do you guys feel that now that you've planned a wedding and also gone through quarantine, which was more stressful? Planning a wedding. I hated it. That's a tough one, man. And I didn't even do, and I can't even say it out.

loud, this is the fun part about being the, I guess my role at least, is like even saying that at loud would make Lexi furious because she's like, I did all the work. I know all the work. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It still sucked. Oh, all right? I'm not a doctor and a hospital right now either, right? But it still sucks. No, but honestly, I was supposed to be in L.A. next weekend, just getting hammered with Jackie and Eddie and all those guys going to another friend's wedding that was supposed to. be in LA next weekend. And so I'm like, it is on my mind, everyone who was trying to plan a wedding for this year, man, I feel for you. And your love and marriage is going to be, it's

going to be the story you tell for the rest of your life and you're going to have a big party someday. And so I'll love to everybody trying to do that this year. Hell yeah. And thank you guys so much for sticking with us after our little break. And again, we're back. And we will be here screaming about the time jump in gym. January, but we will be here for you before then. We love you so much. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm.

The whole world could use a time jump, am I right? Anyways, you can catch one. Yeah, let us all jump to January right now for God's sake. Seven years, just like get completely past it. But either way, you can check me out on Twitch.tv. Ford slash Holdenatorsho. Jackie and I do amazing streams on Friday nights at 6 p.m. ET. and we got special guests like, I don't know,

the writer of the Ghostbusters theme song, Ray Parker Jr., who, you know, I mean, all sorts of shenanigans going on these days. Our Twitch community is the most beautiful, positive community. I love being a part of it, and my heart always goes out to everyone that's always there for us every Friday. We've been getting their quarantine together, and I love you guys so much.

Also, just to round it out, patreon.com, forward slash page seven podcast. Check us out so much content you don't even know. Twilight, the audiobook. Yes. Oh my God, I just read this such a spicy. If you have read Twilight before, if you remember the Port Angeles chapter, I just read it. And I had to like do my sidebar and just be like, yeah, yeah, I was so horny.

Oh, right. Oh, my God. Molly, what do you got going? My name is Molly. I'm MJK L Kat on Instagram. and sometimes I show up and shave my head on Jackanese on Friday nights. Hell yeah, you do. We love you guys and we will talk to you next week.

Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.