Page 7 - Ep. 371: Pinky & Stinky

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

We goss about the socially distanced Emmys, debate if Bruno Mars is Starbucks and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is Justin Timberlake still in love with Britney Spears!?!?!Want even more hot goss? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

But if I showed up at your party, would you have me, would you want me, would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden in the garden, would you trust me? If I told you it was just a summer thing. I'm only 17. I don't know anything, but I know I miss you. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Am I caught again? Oh, God, you and you're Taylor Swift.

I thought you were saying that you missed me. See, I wanted to start the show in a much more over-dramatic way of saying, This place is a person. These people aren't your friends. Inhealing thrills through $20 bills. And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again and again. We are in three very different prisons right now. Welcome to page seven.

Hi, my name is Jackie. I am in a hotel prison. Hi, my name is Holden. I'm in a wifeless prison of my own emotions in my own apartment. And my name is Molly and I am in just a, it's a cage full of emotions and young children, childcare, full-time grad school and work, and trying to just keep it together. It is a parenthood, not a prison. but a bit of a heaven for you someday.

It's a heaven. Because, man, Molly, you will have children that will take care of you someday. And right now I'm just playing Russian roulette and hoping Henry lasts long enough to take care of me when I get to at least the age 45. And I am just, I'm in a weird prison

where I just somehow decide to have a final drink at 4 in the morning, as if that is some sort of smart thing to do for a person that, Wait a second. It doesn't have anything to do the next day. That doesn't sound like you are in a prison. I don't think you're in a prison at all. Wait,

lifeless prison sounds like you get to play games at all times. Yeah. And you can get to be as drunk as you want, as late as you want. Wait a second. That doesn't sound like a prison at all. I mean, it's a bit of a party prison.

I'm going to say of everyone's prison. Mine's like the rich person jail, right? If we're going to like compare prisons. I feel like I'm in Martha Stewart prison right now. You think you're in Martha Stewart prison. I'm in like county then. I'm in like, I'm in like,

I'm in like an overnight stay situation then, if that's the case. And Molly's in like a high security. Yes. You know, tried to escape a couple of times. Molly is in orange is the new black. Yes, she is pink is the new black.

And yes, I'm referring to how pink and rosy she is, probably from exhaustion. Or is it from morning time booze? Who knows? I'm not going to say I didn't take a little nip of the old Keela right before we started, even though this is a morning episode.

because we're got to get a little bit pumped up today because we have so much to celebrate the Emmys, the Emmys, the Emmys, the Emmys. Oh, Emmys, G. It was very weird, but also, you'll step in the best, Shits Creek swept the Emmys. This is, the Emmys.

Never happened, right? It is a, it is groundbreaking that the show, not only won best comedy, but it won best actor, best actress, best supporting, and actor as well as actress in a comedy series. And they couldn't deserve it any more. They even won so much more than that. But that is the, like, that's really what broke the mold with this show. And it's just watching them, it was so weird.

We were talking about this. So as you guys know, the Emmys were socially distanced and watching them. in front of their families was beautiful. Yeah, that was the one good thing. As awkward as like the Emmys were inevitably going to be because it's all from home. The one thing, and it was during the Zendaya. Zendaya is me cheese.

When she won, I remember like Lexi said, because we were doing a watch party over Zoom to just make it even more feeling of quarantine. She even said, you know, as much as it sucks that it couldn't happen like for real this year, it's such a much cooler thing to see people in spaces with their entire family celebrating at home. You see that love. You don't get that as much watching the ceremony, right? Like seeing all the relatives and stuff and everybody freaked out.

And I think it was most apparent in that. But then, of course, you had for Schitt's Creek. like they were all in their own little private situation where they could all really celebrate together. Because most of them are family anyway. Yeah, that's very sweet. Where it's like, you know, so much less shitty or whatever with everything anyway.

So good for them. And, you know. And I can't believe it's Catherine O'Hara and I believe Eugene Levy's the first Emmys. Yeah. And Eugene Levy was so funny. He was like, I can't believe the Emmy that I win Best Comedy for is like the straightest role

I've ever played in my life. Ever played in his life. I was, it's so weird to feel so connected to them. Yeah. That I just, I feel like it was a win for everybody, seeing the pure joy on their faces, and the fact that they all got to be together, and the fact that they are a family together.

And can I just say Catherine O'Hara? My God, she is gorgeous. That outfit with the matching mask and everything, oh, oh, my God. And Daniel Levy with the kilt, oh, my God. Oh, I want to put him in my pocket. Didn't that what he wore in the wedding scene? Isn't that, wasn't that his costume?

Yes. In the wedding? Of course. Yes. The same episode that they won, I believe, best directing and best writing of an episode. Yes. Or of, I just, and so we were talking about this right before the episode. I do also feel sad, Holden, that what we do in the shadows didn't get it, but they will be back next year.

Yeah, and it's cool that they at least got nominated for three different episodes. I was just so happy that the Jackie Daytona episode was nominated. Jackie Daytona. Very happy about that. I love that episode so much. I have a T-shirt for it. It is like the best. One of my favorite episodes, maybe, of a comedy show ever.

Oh, you got to send me a link to that T-shirt. I can buy that for Gideon for his birthday. Have you guys finished it? I think that we're caught up, yeah, finally. And we also watched the movie, which was a different type of trip. Oh, oh, totally. Totally. Love it, though.

But, man, it's so fucking good. Yeah. Man, yeah, everyone needs to watch. It was a big night for us, Jackie. And our, we had so many shows that we love, get the trophy, you know. Succession. We champion succession. We champion euphoria.

I'm just so glad I can be such a tastemaker. Yeah, you're an influencer. That even this group of the Emmy, what do we call them? The Emmy lights. What is the secret academy, the secret church that they all go to? But whatever, whoever votes for the Emmy. those people that we could influence them and make sure that our people won

I definitely did some backdoor deals We have been, we did this Yes, to get Eugene Levy Eugene Levy was originally going to be nominated for shittiest dog in a movie And I was like that's not even that, okay First of all it's TV, it's not film Second of all he's a man

And it's, you know what I mean? And he's a good man And so, you know, I had to do a couple of weird As shittiest dog, how dare you? I will say what was very interesting was the idea of the hazmat-suited what are they presenter, Emmy presenters. I dig it.

It's very over-dramatic. But Holden definitely sent us the video of, who was it? Ramey, Rie Yusuf, rivaling. Oh yeah, Rami Yusuf, who showed because he didn't get the Emmy and it was just the dude, the presenter in the hazmat suit, just waving from the outside of his house.

And outside his house and walking away with his Emmy in hand. How funny is that? My question was, I was like, well, how are they going to do this? Are they just going to... I thought that these celebrities knew who won beforehand because I was like, yeah, a dude in a hazmat suit is going to show up at their door to give them the Emmy. But no, they show up at the door of all of the nominees.

And then just are like, oh, bye, and like, float away. So weird. We know a comedian who was one of these guys. And so presumably they're all just like, you know, people trying to get gigs. So they all probably, all the hazmat guys probably thought it was fucking hilarious. Like I'm waiting outside a celebrity's house. And then I'm going to give them a nice friendly wave when they lose it, walk away. Bye.

So good. I also, by the way, I would, you know, I'm sure it's a big institution. But I don't know if I actually do would trust the Emmys enough to like properly vet these people and to, you know what I mean? It's just, it is a stranger on my property. In a pandemic, in a, in a suit that looks much more like a costume than an actual hazmat suit. Like, it looks like a tuxedo. Yeah.

I would be like, look up a picture of it if you haven't seen it. I'm going to go out there and say, in the COVID prison that I live in, I'm going to guess that they were vetted pretty hard. I mean, it is, it is not, it is all rules, all right, I guess, in the COVID world. Because you have the, you have the inside. Glimps into Hollywood in a pandemic right now. You got the inside scoop. It's a nightmare.

It's absolutely a nightmare. Have you talked about the fact that you're working a gig right now? Do we explain that? I can talk about the fact that I am working a gig, and that is it. But what I can say is I am working with children, and something that is very interesting. Of course, if you're working around children right now, this is even more so that you have to follow rules. It's very, very, very strict. But something that really did surprise me is I'm working with middle school-aged children,

and one of them started singing the, come on, Barbie, let's go party. Ah, oh, yeah. And then they all started singing it. And we were so surprised that 12-year-olds not only know that song, but know all of the words to it. And I was like, of all the songs that I was just like, they're singing. singing the part of like, you know, you can dress my hair, I'll dress me

anywhere. And I was like, why is this song not canceled yet, right? Or why are we still teaching children about this song? I mean, technically I guess she is giving her consent, so I guess that's good. But I don't know if the life of Barbie

and the plastic being owned part is something that I would want my children to really emulate. It is very weird. One time a few years ago, I was on a bus on a field trip with a bunch of middle schoolers, and one of them started singing the theme song to the fictional show, Wake Up San Francisco, that Danny Tanner is on in full house.

Wake up. And I like, look back and I was like, are you singing the theme to wake up San Francisco? And she was like, yeah. And she was totally unfaced. And I was like, this would be, I guess, like, if I was a kid singing like the Leave It to Beaver song or whatever. But like, it is very strange that the children.

because as we talk about on the show often, we are living in an era of just aggressive 90s nostalgia. And so people's children are also steeped in it. So I am not at all surprised that they all know Barbie Girl. And it's true that that song should probably, even at the time, I remember people being like, should we cancel this song? But that was more like a 90s.

The 90s version of canceling was like, is this going to make our children feel sexual feelings? Which... Right, right, right. That was the panic then. No, but at the same time, they're trying to teach me these things. TikTok dances. And I tell you, nothing makes you feel like you are ancient more than trying

to learn a TikTok day. I'm sorry. You're talking about the app that no, I believe, no longer? Oh, does it no longer exist? Is that what's happening? Because I can't keep up with the news currently. So what do we call it now? Flip flap? Like literally as of today, I'd have to check and see. but to my knowledge as of today they are removing it fully from the app stores and everything but the kids I think the kids are hacking it I'm sure the kids will fight back have you

can you hear the children sing the songs of angry pink docks dancing the dance with their arms these little hand moves I just feel like I'm not lithe enough to get them down And I will say it makes me feel, it really makes me feel very old. I'm just like, oh, you just have to go like this?

And I try to like move my breasts and like, uh, no. I'm like, all right, fine. I don't, I don't know. I want to watch you embarrass yourself in front of middle schoolers. It sounds great. It seems a little wishy-washy. I don't know if they actually followed through. What a shocker.

So, uh, this is a bunch of big talk. Big TikTok. Tick-Tock lives to see another day. And I'm sure that I would say that I imagine Zendaya is happy about that, which congratulations. Although I did watch a video of her also learning a TikTok video, and she's, I don't think, as into it as other 24-year-olds are, which made me feel better. She probably feels old, too. And she deserved it for euphoria. Oh, yeah.

She probably feels like an ancient lord. Well, I mean, I, again, I love seeing her, though, receive her trophy. She's the youngest, the youngest lead actress. Youngest woman to win best actress in a drama, and she really does deserve it. She's great. She's so good in it, so real, and so, it made me, I mean, you guys remember when I was watching Euphoria,

I lost my mind for it. I loved it, too. It gave me so many, brought up a lot of traumatic thoughts in my brain. And speaking of traumatic thoughts, I need to just throw this out there, because I watched it very, very early this morning and right before we started recording, I finally watched that This Is Paris documentary

on YouTube. And Holden texted me a couple days ago and he's like, I'm crying right now. And I also... It was two in the morning. Well, you know, I... No judgment zone, Holden McNeely, but I also cried.

But I cried because they did a really good job of not only, like, you can see her struggling with trying to be herself in front of a camera for the first time ever. And who to thunk it to be herself is a lot of vocal fry. She just goes deep on the vote. Her voice drops like... Very deep.

She goes like, down. I love her. I love her voice. But seeing these real moments, she was about to DJ this huge gig. And the dude that she was dating was just like was being, was being an asshole. And she just like, watching that real moment, which I, I don't know how I feel about like, I personally wouldn't want that to be recorded,

but her just being like, can you not please? Can you please, like desperately asking, please be nice to be right now. I'm about, I'm about to be on stage in four minutes. It's the biggest thing of my life.

Can you please? And he just wouldn't. You wouldn't be nice. And in my brain, I'm just like, why can't just be nice to her? Like, finish the fight later. I feel like I was,

it felt like some 90-day fiance shit, to be honest with you. I was like, wait, what am I watching right now? Like, I can't believe this is a dog. Why is he treating her like this? And why will she allow anyone to treat her like that? Well, you find out because of the trauma she suffered in her bad girl school,

which is what made me cry when all the other survivors from the bad girls school get together at the end and share their experiences. And as much as I was screaming at Jackie because she sent me this article that was essentially like, here's what's in the documentary, just in case you didn't want it to be mystery while you watch. And so I read that and I was like, you know, it was kind of like got all the sports. Spoilers, I thought. But it turns out no, because especially, sorry to spoil. Spoil, if you haven't watched it yet.

But I did what got, what blew my mind was like, they'd like stripped her down and put her into solitary confinement. It was like, it wasn't just like, that's torture. Yeah, it was tort. It was like literal prison tactic torture, not just like a nun smacks your bottom whenever you say a, you know, almost say a dirty word. Although that's not okay either. That's not okay either. But still, you know, I feel like there's levels. And, man, they did.

Solitary to me is the ultimate nightmare. More than the death chair, the penalty. Like, solitary confinement is pure health. It's literally torture. Stop bringing it off. I get it. I'm living in a prison. All right.

You got your own kitchen. It is a very nice hotel suite. I bet it may even be bigger than my apartment. It could actually be bigger than my apartment, Jackie. I'm not a lot of. allowed to leave. See, this now, I'm going to watch this Paris documentary. I'm going to watch it by myself because Gideon's working and I'm going to, for years now, just the way I am with the Katie Perry documentary, I'm going to bring up Paris Hilton to anyone who wants to listen because

there's this very similar scene in the Katie Perry documentary from like 2012 where she is just like sobbing because she's in the middle of her like horrible breakup with Russell Brand and she has to go on stage. She's like under, I'm sure I've talked about it on the show probably four times. She's like underneath the stage. She's about to be like catapulted up out of the stage in like a pyrotechnics like, you know, ridiculous thing. And she's underneath the stage and she's like sobbing and she's trying to like hold her breath and stop crying so that she can go out and perform. And like as anyone who is first of all ever tried to not cry in front of anybody, but especially like if you've ever been right upset, like really upset right before a show. Like I watched that scene. That whole

documentary is so good. But I watched that scene and I just like empathize. with Katie Perry so much and it's never left me. And now I'm going to have that with Paris Hilton. Well, yes, because you see all these things. I just, I remember going through my breakup, working at the coffee shop, trying to hide behind the espresso machine as I steamed milk so I could just like sob, sob, sob, sob, wipe it up and then keep going. You know, it's like, because it is those real moments that you see people and you're like, man, no matter what, no, all the money in the world can't take away the fact that you are a human being and that there's some things in life may be easier for you but again what is that statistic that it's like you know that money can buy you

happiness but up until you make 80,000 a year or something it's like 80,000 a year is like the cut off that like any more than that it's like that's the amount you need to feel that money buys you happiness because like you can pay all your bills you if anything happens you can pay it off Like, that is the perfect amount of money in American culture, which is, this is, that's disgusting, that will make you feel, uh-huh. Like, you're standing on solid ground. Uh-huh. And beyond that, it's all, I mean, yeah, being rich sounds like its own form of, uh, emotional torture, for sure. Well, yeah, and also, and not realizing, too, especially back then, that I didn't honestly know that the Paris, um, sex tape that came out with something that,

she not only didn't want to come out. It wasn't like with Kim Kardashian and her mother, where her mother encouraged this to happen, encouraged it to be released. Paris Hilton did not know that it was going to be released. And that is something that is so traumatic. Yeah, that a bunch of other celebrities were like, oh, wow, that's what celebs are up to these days.

We really got to change our marketing approach for our brand. You know what I mean? But that's what got her sent away? And because her parents They couldn't control her anymore And it's just I can't even imagine No one cared

No one cared about age back then Like we just did Britney Spears No one cared about age When it came to this stuff I mean the craziest one We don't have to get too deep down the dark tunnel I mean the fucking R Kelly tape It's like it was like bootlegged all

Every porno shop had a coffee You know what I mean He kept being like fine for like, what, a full almost decade after that? Straight up child porn. Yeah. Like, it is unbelievable. Like, I'm glad we're at least at the point now where that would very much so matter.

And people like her would hopefully be protected now. And I think we're a little less caustic than we used to be towards celebrities in general. Like, I always bitch about, like, the Perez Hilton days and how gross that got. Like, that kind of culture. And TMZ still exists. TMC, though, in the blindness. items under a lot of fire right now. Of course, because of course there's a lot of

internal strife with like sexism and racism and stuff that's starting to come to the fold. I'm, I could not wait for that fucking organization to implode fully and completely. I hate TMZ so much. You know what I hate about TMZ actually is how

funny they think they are. Like when you watch the show, they think they're so funny. And they're so corny and lame and terrible at what, like, at every level, it is so obnoxious to watch. I hate watching people

who think they're funny trying to be funny. The weirdest thing about TMZ is it always seems like such a like budget show. It's like in, it's on the same time slot as Access Hollywood.

What it reminds me of is like back in the day before there was like, before like digital cable was more ubiquitous and you just sometimes had like regular cable and at 6.30 p.m., like Access Hollywood is on and then TMZ is on.

And it's just like a budget, janky-ass show. And then I come to realize, like, TMZ has this massive influence over shit, you know, fucking leaks the news of Kobe Bryant's death before his family finds out,

like, that they're this huge, huge player in people's lives. Whereas I was always just like, that's just some asshole who, like, structured a show to make it seem like everyone in his office likes him. Like,

it just is such trash. The suckassiness that happens in just even the show, itself, much less I'm sure what happens outside of the show and the way they all like gather around him and like, you know, and... I can't wait till we do that with LPN. I want LPN to be a reality show where we have to pitch ideas to Marcus and Kisle and Henry. And I think that this is what we really need. We need to show us all just being like...

But then I feel like we're going to have to have a lot of quiet rooms. We're going to have a lot of like milking rooms. It'll be more last podcast oriented too, though. But like, do you know who Sarah Sandwin? Margin murdered the other day. Who, do tell. Oh, she cut the feet off of a homeless man under an overpass. Ooh, I wish she didn't.

Just Henry being like, fun. It looks like he ran out of time. I think they would have a field day, though, with the cuckaca crossover. Oh, shit. Article about Carol Baskin. Oh, man. On dancing with the stars. We're going to talk about some true crime here.

What a reality we live in. Yeah, man. Dancing with the stars is just like bring us the murderers, war criminals, interpersonal murderers. Whoever has blood on their hands, we want them to dance. We're glad they're a murderer. Bring them in. That's what they're known for it.

Cool. Can you gas for a murderer second person just to get us a fucking 5.0 or whatever it is? I don't know what the ratings they, numbers are. Absolutely insane. But what really bumps up, talk about, man, a promotional shade that was set up. So Carol Baskin performed on Dancing with the Stars. Yes, of course, it was like, I think that she, oh, they danced the Eye of the Tiger. And it was very cat, big cat themed, of course. But right afterwards, the family of, so if you guys, I mean, I think that the entire world is aware that Carol Baskins is possibly a murderer of her ex-husband and or at least

possibly might know why or where or how he became disappeared. And so the family of her ex-husband or her missing husband put up a missing rewards commercial right after her performance and essentially just asking like, if you know anything or if you know if Carol Baskin is tied into his disappearance, there would be a $100,000 reward for any information that you have. That's a real, it's like an unsolved mysteries fused into dancing with the stars, fused into Tiger King. But they must have set that up, right? Like they must have figured that out beforehand.

Oh, yeah. Definitely. No one cares anymore. Nobody can. Well, I imagine his face. Family cares. Well, yeah, yeah, the family, of course, of the murdered man. But I'm talking about Hollywood executives.

They're like, I think they probably got excited. They're like, oh, my God, I can just talking about it, I can taste blood. God, this is amazing. Let's get this woman. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, they're all horny. They're all hard.

They're all whap. It is every single executive, they look at that commercial and they start slipping out of their chairs because they know exactly what that means. because there's no way I'm going to watch Dancing with the Stars, but I damn sure watched the clip of her performing on it. Also, how does it work with buying ad space? Because I would think that they would never allow something like that to fly. They probably realize actually how much of a publicity stunt would be.

But like, can I buy out an ad space during your pretty face just going to hell and be like, hi, I'm here, people against Henry. And I wanted to make a statement, you know, let's find it. Yeah, start calling it the PA, organization. Yeah, yeah. So I just, can we just do that now? Can I just put out succession? Well, I guess Succession is a non-commercial TV show.

What's a commercial TV show? Family Matters. Hi, I'm Holder McNeely and I'm hearing to say Family Matter sucks. Back to the show, idiots. Whatever happened to you at the Bel-Dia. No, pause. Can we pause for a second? Erkel's a fascist.

Back to the show. Paid, sponsored by, you know, Holdens against Family Matter. Oh, yeah. Erkle, you know what? Urkel likes cheese sounds like a rat to me. I say we got him out of the rest of the episodes. Holden's against Family Matters. You got to find one other Holden at least though.

Yeah, it's true. Holden's against I need one other holder, which is actually hard to find. The only Holden I ever met, I met one Holden whose first name was Holden. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. Catcher in the Rye, huh? And he was like, eh, don't really care for it.

I was like, fuck you. I was like, fuck out of you. And I tried to talk to him a little bit more about being called Holden. He was so indifferent about it. I'm like, you're the only older I've ever met. You don't give a fuck about Jamie Salinger.

You don't give a shit about it. Like, I don't need any life, anything. It made me insane. Well, I would assume that growing up with the name Holden, maybe you rebel against Catcher in the right. Maybe. Or, but that's the thing. I would have rather him fucking hated it

than just be like, yeah, I don't know. Don't have any feelings one way or the other. Famous literary. character that everyone probably references or many people reference when they first meet you you just don't give a fuck at all hate it, love it.

Give me something buddy. How old were you when you first red catcher in the eye? I never asked you this. I think I was 16. I think I was the age of the character because it was for English class. So you didn't seek it out beforehand and be like, oh, I should read my only literary? No. I was probably like a couple

years away from it, but then I would read it every like few years after. I haven't read it in a while, but like, then I became like a huge challenge Japan. The funny thing about when you first read that book, though, for a lot of people is you do read it when you're the age of Holden. And you're like, who is this fucking asshole? Fuck this guy. And then you read it like a few years later and you're like, oh, I was that guy. Like, like, but you don't know because you're in it. So you're in the mental space, you know what I mean? Of the character. Oh yeah. It resonates so much that you hate the fuck out of them. You know, like when you, when you get upset. that someone does something and then you realize like oh that's because i do that thing and i hate

that thing about myself like oh yeah yeah i felt pretty red for sure i felt pretty i was on i i was red drag him it's me drag me yeah we're start calling it mcholdanism you know if you're feeling red you get it do you guys get it i've been alone was that a mccarthy is a joke yes i'm not you're a hotel room It's nicer than my apartment, Jackie. I have no sympathy for you. I'm zero simp. All right.

I like every Jackie I ever meet, and I need everyone to know that. It is true. Jackies aren't bad. Jackies are all good. Do I even know other Jackies? Jackie join her cursie. Yeah. And that's why I always wanted to be a runner, obviously.

Look at my physique. And Jackie Grayson. Henry says he's very fast at short distances. Is that true for you? as well. Always, constantly. I'm just, I'm, they're like, oh, they say, they start a car with me, Jackie, look at her go, Zabrowski. Because, man,

I am always, oh, boot scooting about. And they also called you. Cumbersome nickname. That is a cumbersome. Jackie to the moon, Gleason Zabrowski. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just, I'm constantly threatening, um, uh, violence towards the absolutely

no one that I live with and I'm around. And then, and then the walls look at me and they go, uh, this girl, huh? Well, I have a segue, which is that I hated Molly, the American girl doll, because she was a big dork,

and I was also a big dork, and just like Holden, I hated that with which I identified the most. And I was like, this loser has glasses, and then I got glasses. And I was like... She's such a nerd, though, Molly.

Look at your fucking dumb beret, bro. I know, she's the biggest dork of all of them. And I was like, I hate that I share a name with the dork. But then it turns out I was I was the real dork. But there's a new American girl doll. Oh, the dork, hello.

Are we going to talk about 1986, the Challenger American Girl Doll? I want to know how the Courtney's feel because, yes, the new American Girl doll. Based in 1986, that is just an 80s style American Girl doll where they're really pushing. they're like, Courtney's story reflects the pop culture of the decade from sky high hair, neon colored fashions, music, television, and video gaming to major historical moments surrounding women in government and space exploration, as well as larger cultural shifts around blended families and emerging technology. That is how this doll with a ponytail is described. I don't know if I get the sense of like, oh, wow, this girl represents women going to space. But I like

where they're coming from, I guess. It's dark, man. That image of her with the Challenger background, like, it's like her in a classroom with like the launch of the Challenger day, like written on the Blackboard. It's dark. Like, it was a rough time. It's a strange choice to celebrate women in space, in my opinion. But also she plays video games, Molly. I mean, I never read the books, the American Girl doll books, and I recently saw a thread that they were actually, some of them were actually very, very good. So maybe my general skepticism of the American Girl franchise is misplaced, but I just

feel like the 86, maybe it's just our hesitation to being turned into relics of history because the year I was born is now just part of the array of like historical times that children will now have access to. At least you weren't born four years before that year. Then you really... That I would really be... You're prehistory. You're prehistoric. Yeah.

Oh my God. You are a little dinosaur man. Oh, don't. What have we unleashed? God, he's got T-Rex hands. Now, how is he going to start? How is he going to stream? I just think it's interesting that I feel like when I was a little girl,

I would have loved to see more video gamer girls. But now we're flooded with them. I feel like it is acceptable now. Well, the gamer girl thing is so weird in gaming culture. Like, gamer girl can have all these connotations. There's so much bizariness. People are so, because in a space that, previously was dominated by incredibly horny, lonely men,

the advent of the gamer girl. Holden, yes, we know. Has had like all these dumb stigmas because there's also been, it's like, you're not a real gamer. You're just like pretending. You're just being like this like, I'm a gamer girl. You know what I mean? There's just so much dumb shit or like,

oh, yeah, you're a girl who games. You know what I mean? There's just so many weird things happening with the phrase gamer girl. But it's cool to apply it to the 80s, which is like before what I think of when someone says, I'm a gamer girl or refers to a gamer girl. You know what I mean?

That makes sense. But yeah, I don't know. That's the first thing I thought of like, oh, interesting. But I'm kind of liking that it's like, I want the idea of a female woman who games being normalized would be kind of like, the more we can do that, the better. Because it's... I guess I honestly didn't even know that it wasn't yet.

Is it in my brain? I mean, it is and it isn't. All right. Then I'm glad that Courtney exists. In the gaming world, there's still a lot of... of misogyny, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, there's definitely a world where it's a bunch of people

trying to digitally murder each other in fucking fake wars, replicate real wars. There's a bit of some toxic masculinity Why don't we just go out. What? Well, it sounds like what they need is an 80s chic bunk bed

bedroom and a care bear's sleeping bag set. All that only costs almost $300. So because if this little doll wants to play a video game, she has to pay $150 for the Pac-Man arcade game. Whoa. American Girl. Does it play real Pac-Man? That was going to be my question.

I doubt it. No, I think it just sits there. I think the buttons are too small. The American Girl franchise is based on weaponizing, like, middle class children to force their parents to buy, clothes for their dolls that cost much more than clothes for real size humans should ever cost and like

buying like I remember I had Kristen because she had blonde hair and blue eyes she was the Swedish one and I wanted like the bed like oh it's a bed it's a fucking you know it's a wooden doll crib but I'm sure it costs like seventy five dollars

it's just a so like my whole Christmas list for a year or two or three there would just be taken up by like I could ask for like two things from the American Girl catalog, you know, because it was all so fucking expensive. I was just always mad because by the time they came out with Dolly and Me outfits,

let's just say they weren't making it for my size girl. I definitely couldn't fit in, so I'm like, well, I can buy the hats. So I'd get the outfits that would match with the little, with the doll, and I could only wear the hats or the accessories.

I forgot about the Dolly and Me outfits. I definitely had that catalog and would like pour through it. But I was like so mask, I didn't want to wear the dresses, but I also was obsessed with pretending I lived in a different historical time period. So I was really torn by being

like, should I buy a Samantha even though I don't even have a Samantha because I'm obsessed with the Victorian era, but then it will be a dress and I don't want a dress. I really want like a men's outfit from the Victorian era. And I would just like read these catalogs and really go on a journey.

in my head about it. Yeah, I'm Googling Dolly and Me Girl sets and I think I just put myself on some kind of list. 100%. You definitely did. Search, you got to, they weren't called Dolly and Me. I think that's just Jackie's turn of phrase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's for me.

No, no, I found it. Don't worry, Molly. It's matching doll and girl clothes. I'm going to go ahead and repeat the fact that I definitely clicked on that and I'm definitely on a list now. I'm matching doll and girl clothes is the creepiest thing for a man. Late 30s, do you look at it? No, just buy one for Lexi for, you know, just now you have to buy one.

It's my wife, I swear it's not for me. I don't want the doll. Although similarly, Molly, I feel like that's why I think these dolls need to have more like pantsuits, like power suits, because I've been looking into, I was talking about this on Jackanese this week. I want to start wearing suspenders, I think. Yeah. And I was like, I still don't understand, though, for a large breasted.

They go around. They go over the nipple or around the breasts. I say around because then it just is like, oh, my God, her breasts are so gargantuan. The suspenders must fit around them. They're bursting out, right? And I think that's kind of the look you're going for. It's a, this is a, I've done some research on this, but not that I have, I think when I searched for this, I had even smaller, because it must have been before I had kids, but I was like,

I wanted to become a suspender person. And then when I wore them, I was like, something tells me these are not, does for people with my body type. And there is like a lot of discourse about where the suspenders go, whether it's on the outside. Where do they go? I was asking, Got Daddy about it because now Got Daddy worked at this awesome Western wear, like high-end western wear. And he always looks like he's in Deadwood.

But he also sometimes dresses like he's like a Depression-era banker because he wears these high-waisted pants that fit in the ass and then come out a little bit. They're like a loose fitting pant in the legs, but then he wears suspenders over with a long-sleeved button-up shirt, and then he like slicks his hair back with a big beard. And then I pretend to be a milk farmer, and I'm like, oh, I can't pay my bills. What am I going to do? And then the banker shows up. And then he's like, oh, well, oh, and I say, oh, my milk, and the cows is dry. What am I going to do now?

I am alone. I'm not sure what Jackie's been talking about for the past couple of minutes, because I purpose. tuned that out but I will say... Oh, because you were busy looking at it. Too busy looking at the... Now I'm at looking at it. Now I'm at a different list because I'm writing women suspenders and looking at that.

The FBI is just like, we got it. We have to get this guy. We've got to take him in right now. They're like, today's the day. We got him. No matter the breast size, it seems, based off of a Google image search, they generally are kind of go out wide, I feel like, it seems. I think what we can agree on is that they don't go on the inside.

Yes. No, they definitely don't go on the inside. But can I do the like, look out boys. I'm the queen in New York. I'm definitely going to be snapping my suspenders often. Throwing newspapers and people. I mean, God Daddy's style is honestly kind of like the style that I've always dreamed of, but have never been able to quite, you know, have always been a little bit too scared to try.

And so have thus never like kind of fully realized. We're going to have to figure this out next time you come into town. I know. I got to get those good. They've got women's outfits too. That's yeah. I mean, I feel like I really need to be taken under his wing because. By the way, it's called Frontier by Lawrence Scott if you want to look it up.

I think that when you get back from your prison, you should, you know, try some suspenders. And I'll do it with you. We can have like a suspender club. Can we call them Cissy penders Because then we'll be like sisters Cisterndons Cisternbers

Cis cis benders Cis spenders but Cis spenders SIS Fenders yes SIS hyphen penders That does sound a lot like cis ginder It does sound

Yeah that's why it's fun I'm cispendered I'm cispindered So I don't appreciate you Talking And my nipples are raw But that's fine That's from the, that's the Cisbenders.

Sorry, I was also looking up She-Hulk because I remember I was there coming out with a new She-Hulk and I forgot who was just tapped to play She-Hulk in the cartoon. And it is Tatiana Muslani from, I just,

I would, I think I would sacrifice myself just to be, just to have a conversation with her as I die. Few people are up as high on my list as she is in terms of like, I don't know if I want to kiss her or be her, but.

All of it. It's both. And yes, it's Tatiana Maslani from, I mean, for me, from Barry Mason, but also she's great in orphan black. She's amazing in almost everything she does. And now she's going to be She Hulk and it makes me, it really does like, I'm just like, I can't, uh, she makes me wilt, ooh, like a little sweaty Southern lady.

It's just so. you're just so horny dude and it's just like I'm happy for you in a way because like I don't know if I've ever been this horny not in a while I'd say because you're bouncing off the you're bouncing off the walls hard

my wife abandoned me but that makes me that almost makes me kind of like a little mouse that craws into a hole you know what I mean is scared of the world right but you are bursting at the scenes well it's not my fault

you're like Sylvia Plath over there it's because I'm reading Twilight wait wait not Sylvia Plath who did the vagina paintings um George Georgia O'Keefe. You're like a fucking Georgia O'Keefe. I am.

She's a little bit like Sylvia Plath also. That is well. You're a little like, you've got a little bit of Sylvia Plath. A little bit angry, a little bit losing her mind, a little bit thinking about vaginas all the time. You're going to come into the hotel at the end of this, and I'm just going to have a bunch of pussy flowers all over the walls

with my head in the oven. And you're like, well, I guess there she goes. Pussy flowers, she's baking a head cake or something. I don't know what she's doing. No, the problem is because I'm still reading Twilight. And the last chapter I read was very species spicy. And you must go over to our Patreon if you want to hear me reading Twilight for the first time. And I want to say congrats and mazzle to everyone for not spoiling a big thing in Twilight for me,

which I'm about to say. So if you don't know or if you don't want to know, just skip ahead for the next 15 seconds. because Molly they can't have sex at all Molly they can't have sex and I flipped out

because there's so much sexual tension I need it I need it and they can't did you just like delete all the files of what you've been working on

and then burn the book I know people heard me as I found out that they can't have sex as I was recording it so I recorded it So I recorded straight through of me having a mini mental breakdown because the fact that there can't be a release. And please don't spoil anything else for me, but I did, I really was very, I'm very upset about it.

Wow. Somebody really should have told you before you embarked on this journey. I'm glad I didn't know, though, because I was so horned up and being in this hotel prison, it really, like, it made me, you know, it made my brain shatter in a way that I didn't think was. possible. It's also, I mean, by the way, you did recently were obsessed with a little-known show called B-stars that has a very similar premise. Man, it is, do you talk to people about B-stars, and I'm the one that has a problem, apparently.

You know, I'm the issue when I say that B-stars was sexy, and I'm apparently wrong. Really? And I have a problem. It's giving you shit about thinking B-stars, it's got of energy, though I would say would lead towards sex. I believe it is people that are into anime and people that usually watch stuff like this and they're like, no, it's just a good

show. But it's so horny. And I don't usually watch anime so I thought that you know, I thought that this was unnecessary, not unnecessarily. I thought it was just hornier than the rest because I don't usually watch it. Isn't it, Holden?

It is, I would say. I mean, it's hard to say because even my favorite anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion, has like this bizarre horniness happening all throughout it. And I don't even think about that show as a horny show. Edward sniffs Bella constantly. He's always sniffing Bella.

He needs her scent. There is something about watching or reading someone that's like, and I'm not even that, like, I don't sniff on. I don't usually sniff on people, especially people I don't know. And there's something about putting your nose in the crevasse amongst the hollow. of your neck that apparently I guess I'm into. There's a big strain of thought, I guess, school of thought that the show Hannibal, which I finally finished, is really, really gay because it's like Hannibal and Will Graham

just being totally in love with each other. And Hannibal's always sniffing him, and it is pretty sexy. See, I feel like for me, being sniffed by Lexi means that I am particularly stinky that day. Yeah, something bad's about to happen. and or that I drank too many IPAs the night before and she feels that I get a bit of a yeast stink from that in the sheets. And so a lot of times her sniffing means...

Yeast in the sheets! Yeah, a lot of times her sniffing me means, fuck, now I got to wash the sheets today. Yeast in the... Yeast in the sheets, hops in the street. Oh my God, I wish I was hops in the streets. Yeah, usually it just lets me know I have a new chore to do that day, the opposite of sex.

Oh, okay. Yeah, but also you get a horny when you wash the dishes. So really, but what about when you do the laundry? I had a weird dishes time yesterday, actually. I'm not sure why. What's missing from this conversation about whether or not B stars is horny is that both of you guys are way horny. I was about to say way hornier than the rest of the population. And I don't want to say that because I don't know, maybe everyone is horny.

But you guys can find, something I like about both of you is that you can find horniness in a hopeless place. I feel like you can find it anywhere. Like, Holden can find it when he's washing the dishes. Jackie can find it in like a show about chastity if you needed to. Like literally the entire franchise of Twilight is like a Christian fairy tale. And, you know, so I'm not saying it's not horny. I think it is. But I'm just also saying that's...

I found a way to not hate doing the dishes. I think that's great because dishes are my least favorite household chore. And I wish I got horny when I did the dishes. But it gets all sudsy and Sophie. Molly, I think you need to flip the switch. I think you need to change your perspective on it. And maybe if you find a chore that you need help doing more often, if you turn it into something that is working.

You know, like when you, like, we've talked about this before, when you're trying to get somebody to do something and you turn it into a game of like, oh, well, why do we see how fast we can get it done? Where it's like maybe you just turn, you turn some chore into something that's a little bit, hornier that right after you get, you know, milked like a little dairy farmer. Like Betty Draper in Mad Men, where she gets off on the washing machine, except my washing machine

is in a communal room with the rest of my apartment building, so I can't do that one. Have you ever tried it, though? I don't understand how to do it. I've never been, I've tried it. And then, like, you try to, like, open your legs and, like, sandwich around it. Yeah. And you're just like, well, I don't understand. I think that maybe January Jones is very tall, or I don't.

I'm not quite, I have never tried to. I think my thighs are too thick. Like my pussy doesn't sit on the ground if my thighs are close to. Wait, does it? Now I'm checking. I don't think my pussy's on the chair. No, maybe. My nuts are on the chair.

My nuts are on the chair. All right, I'll stop doing this. All right, can I talk about the celebrity conspiracy, please? Please tell us. Here we go. Here is the conspiracy. this week, is Justin Timberlake still in love with Britney Spears? There's a video that may prove this to be true, but I doubt it. Either way,

let us start frumps to the beginning of this celebrity conspiracy. Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears were one of the top power couples back in the day. Their relationship lasted three years from 1999 to 2002. Then, as you probably already know, Spears cheated on Timberlake, which you would know from our pop history episode. Check out our pop history episode, Britney Spears, parts one, two, three. Get it, girl. Spears cheated on Timberlake with one of the guys that Michael Jackson molested. So Timberlake went off to write, cry me a river, and the rest is history.

Or is it. The proof is in the video pudding, is the title of this next section. But you know that this is an interview that is not with Britney Spears, but it is with... Anna Kendrick and Justin. Anna Kendrick? But this is the thing. And I told you to turn this. sound off because I don't want it to affect your recording.

But the interviewer says something that takes Timberlake to a place. A place of forlornment. A troll's place, it seems. In 2016, 14 years after their split, Justin did an interview for his movie Trolls, yes, with Anna Kendrick.

When an interesting moment happened, for background, Brit Brit and Timbo had nicknames for each other. He called her pinky, and she called him stinky. Which, by the way, I hope is not one in the pink and one in the stink but it does sound like a mic.

But who knows? That's next week's celebrity conspiracy. During the interview yeah right, that's like during the interview the interviewer is asked Anna Kendrick about her character and she's like British I believe or I'll show it she's like your character's very

pinky, very I don't even know what pinky means for this interviewer but she says the word pinky and as soon as she says that Timberlake goes from smiling and happy to very clearly lost in his own thoughts. So if you hit play on the video at about 210, you'll see they're laughing, they're fine, everything's cool.

And then she asked the question to Anna. Look at his eyes. Ooh, yeah. Do you see that? So this is the... This is the whole thing. This is it. This is it.

This is it. He could possibly be thinking about anything else. He does look sad. Maybe he's thinking he's. He's hungry. Maybe he needs a drink of water. No, no, no. Look at his face.

Oh, he looks sad. He looks sad. He's sad. Look at him. He's just looking into the middle distance. Yeah. And then he comes back. He comes back out of it around 250.

Whoa. Yeah. But I mean, you have to say, uh, what you did. I already know. I found out from him. Ooh. Um, yeah, I guess I believe it. All right.

There you go, just like still in love with Britney's fear. Molly, do you believe? I've never believed anything more in my life. That guy went to a different place. But I really like his love with Jessica Beal, though, so I don't want to believe it. Well, he cheated on her also, but also. Or at least he handheld. Well, handheld.

He handheld. But either way, you know, I just think the most important part of this is how gross their fucking nicknames were for each other. Pinky and stinky is disgusting. And they should be ashamed of themselves. They were so young. Oh, no. Jackie, but aren't you the one who hates the word stinky? I do hate the words.

Could you imagine calling the person you love that as a fond name? Imagine a God, Daddy, was like, ooh, hey, stinky. Ew, I don't. I won't. No, no more. I imagine if I'm playing dairy farmer. Stinky want lick-lick, stinky want lick-lick-lick. Stinky gets lick-lick-lick now.

Licky lick, no. Yeah, stinky shower up. It's lick-lick time. No, because talk about that. If anyone even just like remotely like ingest called me stinky, you, I would be in a shower so fast. I already take too many showers. I, I, no, no, no, no, no, no, thank you. Well, I just, everybody check it out.

This is, what, what's the name of the video? I'll just interview Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick Trolls Con 2016. And cue that video up to around two minutes and 10 seconds. Or you can just Google the conspiracy. theory, Justin Timberlake, still in love with Britney Spears, and it should be the first thing it pops up. And it is, I mean, pretty convincing, as you heard from that. He's scary. No way he's just tired. Or having his 20th interview of the day, there's absolutely no way. Jackie, look at his face. Have you ever seen anyone stare into the middle distance harder?

That's the other thing, too, is as soon as she said Pinky. She said, you're very, your character's Is that it, pinky? And, and, and, which I don't get. What is that? I don't know. I don't get it. But either way, Anna's like responding. And the second he says it, it's like a bullet, he was shot with a bullet of emotions.

A sadness bullet. Yeah. I could feel that sadness bullet almost as hard as I can feel this list coming on at all. Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Ooh. Today's list is how celebs arrived at stage names.

They're stuck with. Well, old stinky, we've got stinky Timberlake, I don't think, ever stuck, and that's probably for the best. But you know what did stick? When Peter Hernandez's father called him Bruno because he thought his chunky son resembled pro wrestler Bruno Samartino.

So he just called him fat. Well, you know, at least it's a nicer way to call someone fat. Because, yes, I was also just called fat. Now I get to be called thick, and I like that. But as he began his path to stardom, Bruno added Mars because he joked, the girls would think he was out of this world. That is, like, perfectly in line with exactly how, like,

slightly bland and corny I conceptualize Bruno Mars. Like, that's the type of joke that I could absolutely picture. him making in my own perception. Maybe Bruno Mars is incredibly interesting, but this just seems just, it just tracks perfectly for me. He's very talented. I love Bruno Mars.

He's very talented and I like him a lot and I think he's a lot of fun. But I don't you think that the way his music feels is like the joke, that's out of this world, you know. Yes. He's like the Starbucks across the street from the other Starbucks. Yes, exactly. You are mean. He is not Starbucks.

Oh, are you kidding? Have you ever listened? What? Both of you? He's talented. I also will dance to his music at a wedding, but he's fucking the most Starbucks, bro. He's, like, it's not a referendum on talent.

It's just a referendum on kind of plain. Incredibly bland. Yeah. Plain ubiquity. I, you know what, agree to disagree? You're both being, you know what you guys are, your coffee bean and tea leaf? I would just, I just want to say this.

That's what you guys are. I would like to take a pull. of people to find out who the true blue Bruno Mars fans are, and then also find out how many of them are insurance salesmen or in insurance. I would. You know what? And I'm going to say the ratio is going to blow your brains. It is going to be like how many people are in, do admin work whose favorite,

and not to call people out right now, okay? But I'm just, maybe not admin. You're hurting me. There's a lot of people. I was admin. But definitely insurance people. People who really like their insurance job. Are Brune and Mars fans.

I'm going to guess the ratio is outstanding. Yeah, but did you know that Neo's stage name comes from The Matrix? Yeah, it does. Because a good friend of the singer told him he was like Neo, but for music, because of his ability to churn out songs at a high speed. Now I've heard everything. Wow, yeah, we are at, Molly and I are 100% speechless over this news. Yeah, you're welcome.

I don't even... What is Neo on? Like, what does he sing? What's his big one? What's his... He sings stuff. Like, he sings music and stuff. He's one of those guys just on everything, right?

Like, I don't even... Yeah, he produces a lot of music. He does a lot. I mean, he's worked for forever. Yeah, he's one of those. Because at least with Bruno Mars in, like, Uptown Funk, I can, like, name some Bruno Mars song. That's probably the only one I can name actually.

But for Neo, I'm like... See, you don't even know. You don't even know anything about him. You probably know a lot more Bruno Mars than you even think. Probably. And also that Kit Harrington, and yes, I mean John Snow, goes by his childhood nickname Kit, because his parents didn't tell him his name was really Christopher,

not Kit, until he was 11. That's just a weird That's just a fucking weird move Your parents didn't tell you What your fucking name was Yeah Yeah I guess that that is weird I don't understand

It's weird that he didn't ask Like is my name Kit Like by the time you're 11 Well why would you ask if that's You were always just called Kit I feel like at one point If they were like actually Your real name's Christopher I'd be like

Well can you fucking change it to Kit then Because that's the only name you've called me Until now And so I just Change it to Kit then Why didn't you just make it hit in the first place. By the time you're 11, you've like gone on some, you have like a sense of yourself.

You've probably been asked like what, why are you named what you are? You know, like I just feel like he was an incurious child if he didn't find that out. He was an incurious. It's his fault. Wow. I can't believe you're blaming the 11 year old boy. Spin it back around gas like that child. I think it's his fault that he didn't ask.

Maybe your name isn't Christopher. I'm not sure. Maybe it's good, actually. Who knows? 11-year-old boy. Yeah, but did you guys know that Mindy Kaling's name is not her real name? What? Mindy Kaling's real name is Evira Mindy Chokaling him,

and she was given the name Mindy because her mother was a big fan of Robin Williams's Morkin Mindy. She later had to shorten her last name to Kaling because an MC struggled to pronounce her name during an audition. Yeah, I feel like. like that's a good classic, you know, like people having, you know, like the Ralph Lauren one, have people having names that are more representative of the ethnicity they come from and then having some agent be like, you'll never make it in Hollywood with a name like lip shits. Yes, where it's just like the people that are forced to do it. I mean, I think that we've had

this conversation before. Even Henry was brooch asking to change his last name because his last name was too ethnic. That's amazing because I just, first of all, it does kind of sound like you shit out of your lips, so I do get that one example. But I will also say, Dave Willis, we did an interview with him for Wisn' The Bruiser, and he said he clicked on Henry's audition for your pretty face first because of his name specifically. So isn't that amazing? Because he was like, this sounds like a cartoon character's name.

Show your true call. So just never listen to the people that act like they know what they're doing. any industry, really, if you feel like there's an inkling that they're completely fucking wrong because that's like the best amazing thing I've ever heard. What would he change it to too? It'd be like Henry Stephen. Michaelson or I don't know. Who knows? He should be Henry Thomas. Henry Thomas. Yeah, but there already is a Henry Thomas. Henry Mickey Mouse is probably what it would be. Henry Disney. Yeah. See that one, let's get some of that Disney money, Candy. Henry Mandelarian. Oh, I want to be Jackie Baby Yoda.

Henry Baby Yoda. Honestly, Henry Baby Yoda is very sellable. Henry and Jackie Baby Yoda. Henry and Jackie Baby Yoda. Oh, you guys know that Baby Yoda's? I'm good friends with both of them. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

I would be such a hit with Freddy. If our last names were the Baby Yoda's... That's true. Hyphenated, please. Freddy calls Baby Yoda tiny, tiny Yoda. Tiny Yoda. You'd have to quit doing the podcast because all you'd be able to do is go...

I just sound like the female gremlin. And again, the world goes round. That's all I ever want anyway. This sounds more like something that I feel like would happen to me that Grimes got her name because of Myspace's web design. You could pick three music genres on your MySpace page. So she picked Grime three times, which is why she was referred to,

as grimes because that's all, which I don't even know in my brain that just reminds me. Does that just mean sludge? I just like that she has, it even says on this list, she has no idea what that genre is. I don't think anyone knows what that music genre is. Even people who claim they know what that genre is. No, I've never heard of crime before. No. But in this, you know, I don't like her as a person, but I do understand this ideology, though.

thanks to her bullies, Leah Michelle dropped her last name because her last name was Sarfadi. So Michelle used to be called Leah Sofatti and Leah Sofarty. So she changed. She just dropped her last name so no one would ever call her that ever again. I mean, So fardy is a really funny way to mock somebody's last name. I don't condone it, but it's a funny thing to be called. It's fun, that.

It is pretty funny. But that's it for my list this week, guys. I know you were absolutely gobsmacked with the information that I just plugged into your ear holes like a dairy farm girl, here to plug away and here to release. Jackie, I am so gobsmacked that I'm actually going to go listen right now to some godsmack. Oh my God. I'm not the one who's so far away where I be. Is that one of their songs?

I don't know. I don't know anybody's songs that I'm talking about today. Every musician I'm mentioning I don't know any of their songs. But I will say that what has happened? I can't seem to see my Spotify page to pull of Godsmack.

Are they on here? No, no, no. It's not even that they're not on here because everything's on Spotify. It's really good. You should get a membership and stuff like that. But no, it seems actually that I'm going. Blind.

Items. Oh, we can't see them. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, Let's get it on. I've got, I'm not going to do. No, no, no, I know which ones I'm going to do. I've got four.

Two of them suck. Okay, here we go. This one-named permanent A-list singer is going to face the same issues that the last incarnation of her biopic faced. A total gloss over of everything she did before she became famous and how she got her big break. It is the good stuff. One name, singer, legend.

Share. No. Beyonce. No. Grimes. Yeah! Grimes. No, not crimes.

Incorrect, Molly. You get three lashings. Madonna is got... We're not going to hear the real Madonna story until Madonna can't control it. Let's be real. So here we go. I will say she is co-writing it with Diablo Cody, who I do really love her work. Young adult.

Of course, Juno. What's the other one? She's great. I love her work. Madonna is co-writing and directing her own biopic, which, by the way, who has ever done that before? The narcissism in that is so, you let someone else, it's the same thing

as you never create your own fan page, you let someone else create it for you. That's a real fan page. Like, you know what I mean? She also did the United States of Terra. Sorry, I get, I really liked United States of Terra. Yes, also liked that a lot. So Madonna said, I want to convey the incredible

journey that life has taken me on as an artist, a musician, a dancer, a human being, trying to make her way in this world. The focus of this film will always be the music. Music has kept me going and art has kept me alive, which is all to say she says nothing. And I doubt that this will reveal any truth as it is being fully controlled. Who makes a, who directs their own biopic? That is crazy to me. That is absurd. That is someone with demons that doesn't want anyone to know their demons. Like, whoa, bro. And co-write it.

I couldn't fathom, at least Diablo Cody. So hopefully Diablo Cody will like extract some truth. Something great out of it, yeah. Because there's an interesting story to be told there, but I think it can't be told uncritically, especially even in like the golden age of Madonna. Like, what culture was she like co-opting and like profiting from? Yes. She does not have the perspective to tell them.

that story. Well, the funny thing is, is the story would have to largely center around her being a Mondo narcissist, which is exactly there's no way that it's doing on the first place. Yeah. There's no way that'll happen with her at the helm. It is so crazy. Um, yeah, cut, um, uh, fake me, uh, can you actually be, do that way sexier and way bad? Like, you, you know what I mean? The way I would have done that dance. Like, could you imagine? Could you imagine being directed by the person you're trying to portray? Let's think about that for two seconds. I mean, that's got to be.

I would be terrified. Jackie, cut, hold on. Jackie, I get that you're trying to make scree noises, but... Can I give you a line read? Can I give you a line read? Do you know how many line reads there are going to be? Oh, oh, it's all going to be my line reads. Or her just being out and then, like, no, more like this.

Tata, ta, ta, ta, ta, two and four and nine. Breast out. Yeah. So crazy. Anyways, moving right along. I'm interested to, I will definitely watch that. I may have to, in fact, it may have to be a cat's the musical experience where we all dress up as different eras of Madonna and go into the theater.

That sounds fun, especially if we do it alone in our homes. I want to be a part of the music makes the people, because I want to have like a folded up cowboy hat with like a big fur, like fake fur coat on. I'm going to go as a matador because I used to J.O. to that music video. and I'll stop. Either way, though. Keep it moving. Sorry about that. Apparently, this brand, brand,

brand, brand new talk show entrant could give the illiterate talk show host to run for her money about who boozes more on set. Brand new talk show host. Drew Barrymore? Yes. Who's the a literate? Wendy Williams.

Yes. It's kind of a funny, weird shade to Wendy Williams when I kept it in. But I have to say, I looked up some clips of Drew Barrymore's new show. And I will say she does seem to be visibly intoxicated. And the show is fucking weird, guys. Definitely keep it on the radar because that show seems unhinged at best. It is just all over the place. Wait, why is it unhinged? Tell me more. Tell me more. I think it's because she's probably drunk. It just feels crazy. Like it feels manic or something.

I don't know. It just got a weird energy. I bet she's very nervous. Probably. Yeah. She's so. Still. She's so, I feel like I would watch, there are many reasons that I think that it would be fun, though, because she is like, so now. Because I feel like she's just like grown into this kind of like fun, quirky, like a little bit nerdy, a little bit bashful, like, you know, child-celeb, grown. Fun mom. Yeah. Really fun wine mom. And as far as I can tell, there's no reason to have a daytime talk show if not to get wasted during it.

Right. Yeah. Have that glass of rosé. That's why we're going to be Kathy Lee and Hoda someday. I know that's why Jackie and I are, you know, this is the whole 10-year hustle we've been trying to build. It's just, we really just want to get drunk at 4 in the morning on NBC. Holden, what are you going to do on our Molly and Jackie show? What was the name of the producer guy on Regis and Kathy Lee?

I'll be that guy. Oh, my God. You'll be the guy where we're like. No, what was his name? Yeah, you like, yeah, you kind of yell me into the show every now and again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was just like, can we get a little bit of more? And it's just like you come out with a wine bottle.

You come out with a saddle strapped on your back And we're like, we're like to ride him around like a pony I'm gonna tell you about some sexual experiences I had in college First we'll start with, you know what I mean? I'll just like, you're like, no, no, no, we don't need to do it. You know what I mean? I'll just like, and then you kick me out.

I'll be like way drunker than you guys. We'll be like, hold it, have you heard of this? And then it'll cut to you like with an entire bottle of brandy standing next to the camera. I tried cocaine last night. Very good. We have no. like him. What was his name, Jackie?

Gelman. Galman. I'll be Gelman. All right. That's great. That's perfect for us. All right, perfect. Great, great, great. As long as the wine is flowing, I'll be smiling. There it is. Here we go. Final one. Can they guess it? It's actually incredibly easy to guess, but I just had to bring it up

to talk about it. It has some good implications at least this blind item. The planted story in people does mean the marriage is in trouble. The thing is, though, if there is a split, there will be hundreds of tweets exposing the reality family for everything under the sun. And you can't put that back in the closet. Dude, I mean, Kim Ye is definitely going to be the bubble will burst.

Do you think? I imagine soon. But what about these secrets? Secrets are no fun. But yes. What kind of, I feel like, like, I can't even imagine anything that would actually bring them down. I don't know.

Like, you think, who has the secrets? Is it that Kanye has secrets about the Kardashians? Or is it that they have secrets about him? Yes. Which one? Secrets about the Kardashians, for sure. Okay. Because that makes,

because, like, obviously, they probably got some leverage on Kanye since he's been having a hard time. For sure. Kanye is on these tweet storms that are really crazy that I keep up with, kind of in real time, but they're so frantic and so many of them.

Yeah. A couple of which were just screen grabs of his record contracts. Yeah. But either way, It's, yeah, he's on another manic Twitter episode thing. And now, and what's so funny to see, too, as a Swiftie, whatever, whatever listeners who hate me for that. But to see him just now realizing that he doesn't own his masters and he desperately wants them after all this stuff with T. Swift, everything going down and no support there.

And then he actually, even was like, like, there was one tweet where he was even like, Fuck it. Taylor 2, let's get those masters. I'm friends with Scooter Brant. Like, it's just like, but it's so great. It's just like, dude, what is going? What's happening? What is going on? Yeah, it's, no, it's very upsetting.

He's in trouble. He needs help. He really, it does. Do you, A, do you guys think the divorce will actually happen? B, do you think that these revenge tweets secrets are lined up and will, will happen if A happens? I think that he is going to have to be signed into, he must get. Think of the pre-up. I am mad.

Like, there's, I don't think that there's any way, honestly, in the divorce that he would be able to get away with doing anything they don't want him to do without legal action. I mean, those contracts, though, that he was tweeting out. Like, they all say at the top, like, you know, confidential, do not share. You're right, though. I mean, this is a thing. And I just think it'll get to a point where they will go after him because of it. And I think it's upsetting to watch.

I think that it will be a huge, huge kerfuffle everywhere for them. And so I imagine they are doing everything possible to have it not happen. Yeah. Yeah. Right? I think that's right. But what is going to happen for sure is me getting my sight back back. Oh my God, welcome back.

Oh, congratulations. Also, what is for sure going to happen, which I forgot to mention as. about how excited I was for the now finally lifetime is with a just knife to their neck, but I'm still happy that they are trying to diversify their Christmas and holiday movies. But what I got very excited about is that, oh my God, guys, they are having a real life same-sex married couple in a movie called the Christmas setup. However, one of the dudes' mom is being played by Fran Dron. And yes, I feel like Lifetime is listening to this podcast. And if you are, I'd like to see more diversity.

And I'd like to see more storylines like this. But good start. I'll give you that. It's a great start. There it is. And that's it. That's our episode all over the place. Will they make it through their prison inside of quarantine prison?

Who knows? I guess you're going to have to wait until next week to see. Yeah, I think you're going to be really pretty completely fine. I think that everything's going to be fine. Whoa. Don't you baskins me right now. I feel like you are, you're putting me under some kind of shade. And if you want to find me in the shade, I'll be on Instagram at Jack That Worm.

That's where you can find me. My name's Holda McNeely. Find my whole ass on Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.tv slash Holdenaders. Only fans. Friday nights, 6 p.m. ET. Jackie and I, we party hard.

Also, Molly joins us sometimes. It's really fun. Also, check out Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. We already talked about it earlier. Twilight, talking TV. I'm bringing Natalie and we're going to talk about some TV this week. It's going to be fun to gush

even more about the paris talk. Check us out, y'all. Very good stuff. Molly? My name is Molly Neffel and I'm MJKLKLKK on Instagram. We love you guys. Be safe. Be healthy.

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