Page 7 - Ep. 374: Bedknobs & Pooch Sticks

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

We goss about quarnaments and Netflix's Fear Street reboots; plus, in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: is Cardi B being controlled by the Illuminati?!?!Join Jackie's bookclub on our Patreon page: Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Somebody watched Hocus Pocus last night. I put a spell on you. And now you're gone. God! I put a spell on you. And it was strong, so strong, so strong, so strong. Your rich little lives have all been cursed because of all the witches working? I'm the worst.

I put a spell on you. And now you're mine. I had to look up what that frit, the stanza was, because I never knew what she said and I was pretending that I was Bet Midler in my office alone and I realized I didn't know what she said and that is not in the original

Screaming Jay Hawkins version. Welcome to page seven and that's a little tidbit for you. Welcome in you with a little tidbit of information. Thank you for that tidbit for sure. You want a little tidal bit? Bit of my titty bits.

I'm sorry. I'm feeling it. middle school girls called my situation a titill bit and did not make me happy. Are you calling yourself the situation now, though? Because the Jersey Shore, we did that weeks ago, Holden. I'm the proposition, we'll say. He said I'm a situation, not the situation. Yes.

Okay, but also isn't the proposition, isn't that a movie about cannibals? In the forest? I'm the omen, they call me. Oh, yeah, yeah, a bit of a Damien. Absolutely. Bit of a Damien over here. my name is Damien Fry and I'm here to terrorize you.

It's my new, it's my Halloween Twitter name, I guess, Damien Fry. Yeah, more like Damien French Frye. My alter ego. I'm so scary. No, this is really, y'all, this is Holden and I apologize for frightening you. Oh my God, I thought, well, I really did.

I was taken a back and a breast, but also Molly's here. I'm here, but your Twitter Halloween nickname Holden would have to be like, hold in, you know. Yes. It's got to be something like that. Yeah. Hold on to the door because a ghost is getting in.

Something like that, right? Hold on Mick, Mick, McWhee. That's not really helpful. McScreamy. It's mixed. Screamy is better. Yeah. Oh, I like this.

I think I'm definitely horrified and I'm sure you. at home are also absolutely horrified. I think that you ever, I know that you were um, arianators, I'm sorry, holdenators. How, first of all, how dare you, how do you bring that up? I just not emotionally prepare me for the fact that you were going to bring up the thing that makes me upset every day. I wake up and I go, oh, thank whatever's out there for another day to be alive on this planet. And then the fucking hate seeps in. And I think about that woman who, by the way has an album apparently coming out soon. Surprise, surprise.

Yes, she did say that. But I'll hate it regardless now because she is my sworn nemesies. I like, I like that you, you know what you needed a new nemesis. I was like, oh no, just our overall, what everything that's happening right now, that can't be our enemy. No. That outside of the house can't be our enemy. We have to create our own enemies.

I mean, if you think about her and you think about me, I would say we are the opposite. I will say that, right? Are we not fully opposite? I don't know. I think that you could really rock deciding to start sucking on a lollipop. I think that you sucking on lollipops and just being like, who and me, how did it make screaming? Or whatever your name is for.

You're right. I do love Big Dig energy. And whenever I see it in someone else, I stare at them like she did in that picture. So I do get that. I'm drawn to that. Oh, my God. You know exactly the picture I'm talking about the Pete Davidson picture. Of God, it's a big dick energy picture.

It swept the internet for two days. And then we started caring about something else. And then everyone started dying. And now we just care about that. But we still, as everyone's dying, we're still like big COVID energy over here. You know, so at least the phrase still lives on with us. Right, right. Wow, you've got big COVID energy.

By that, I mean, you're dying at a hospital bed. Oh, that's horrible. I didn't make it up. The internet did. You're right. It shut down the internet. And it was such a mood. It comes holding contempt for internet language.

Best roller coasters at Disney World, go. Tell me right now, I demand it. Because I just demand everything of everyone around me without asking. Space Mountain, all right? It's hands down Space Mountain and everybody fucking knows it. Did you guys see there was an article today about how everyone who's like a, like, you know, those Disney people. And I'd say this with no judgment because I've got a good friend who's like a, like a, you know, I mean, in addition to all of you, who, like, go to Disney to...

How dare you. But, like, genuine, like, I love Disney. Disney people, they're very sad because the happiest place on Earth is not open. And so they... I thought it had open, but I guess... It did for a second, right? Or am I crazy? Yeah.

It definitely did because they had an extremely dystopic ad that was like, welcome to Disney World. We all wear masks here now. You know, it was like... But apparently Disney people are sad that they can't do their, you know, they can't carry out their regular scheduled Disney traditions in their life. Yeah. I just want to know if anyone that listens to this lives in celebration, which is the village in Orlando. Oh, my God.

Lake Buena Vista, where you go if you are a the Cray Disney heads. If you listen to this, I want to know what your life is like now. Disney is closed and you live in the village. Like, how do you feel that now your grass still has to be the same height as everybody else's grass? That I'm pretty sure, and this, I may to go ahead and say that I imagine someone can fact check me on this. But I know that there are very big regulations on your facial hair when you work at Disney. But I, in my brain, assume you have to follow the same guidelines if you live in Celebration Village. we have a family that we don't speak to anymore that lives in Celebration Village and there's a reason why we don't speak to them before.

I am dying to, I guess I have to ask you about this off the podcast, the reasons why. It's nothing to do with Disney but also it kind of has everything to do with Disney. Because if you, you know, the people that, I'm sorry, now I'm just being judgmental, but I think it's just because of the people. I'm going to judge the people who live in Celebration in Florida as well. So by the way, if you're listening to this and you live in Salvation, Florida, please both tell us everything about it, also knowing that we judge you for living there.

So get ready for us to shit out here. That or like if you were a kid that grew up in it. Like, I want to know, like, people that didn't choose to live there that had to live there. You know what I mean? Against their will. That's who I want to hear from. Yeah.

It is really scary. I think that the idea of it is very scary. And it actually makes my chest hurt, thinking of being in, but I also don't think I could ever be a part of like a homeowner's association either. I feel like all of it is intrinsically evil and I get very scared of having to follow those kind of rules because I immediately get into the, you can't tell me how to live my life.

Yeah, it just gives busy bodies an excuse to be fucking busy bodies is I feel like all homeowners associations are like no one actually cares about any of this stuff, the uniformity or anything. They literally just, they get to be on a council where they get to tell people what they can and can't do and enforce rules without being. police officers. Take all of that police officer, amateur police officer, but for a neighborhood, uniformity, energy, and then inject it in with the type of personality who

like, uh, wears every item of clothing has like a finding Nemo icon on it, you know, or like an aerial or, you know, those, those adults whose lives are not just influenced by, but, but fully guided. by their relationship with Disney movies and then have them be in charge of how you enter and exit your home. And that really does sound like a kind of nightmare that is like a happiest place on earth kind of nightmare.

Yeah, you got some weird white guys showing up dressed like Moulon telling you that your fucking beige paint is like slightly too beige. I'm not here for it, Internet. They can't even leave their Christmas decorations up for too long, or else they get fine. I will say, though, they do host a few fun festivals, the Great American Pie Festival. They also host the posh pooch festival.

I love a posh pooch, but you know what? No what? I also love an in the gutter pooch. And I ain't talking about my pussy. Whoa, fucking what? Oh, yeah. Ain't talking about the in the gutter pooch. I got down here.

You're a my leopard skirt. Nobody thought you were. No one at any moment thought that was why you were walking. Jackie Zabrowski walking around Celebration, Florida, just being like, I ain't talking about this pooch. And everyone's like, you need to leave. Get the Mickey Cops to remove her. Jackie show concept to pitch to a network yesterday.

Jackie Zabrowski moves into Celebration, Florida. Yes. Or the Zabrowski. So it's about Henry and Jackie moving into Celebration, Florida for one year, living together, dealing with all the health. Right? Yes. I don't even know whether it would be pre-written or a reality show. Like, I don't know which one I'd prefer because I'd love to just write that.

Yeah, it could be either. As like a Schitt's Creek kind of thing, but of course a lot filthier and a lot, you know, meaner. Or just a reality show. Or somehow trick. those, the homoes association of letting them move in and then have like, I guess secret hidden cameras to follow you guys around

while you deal with like trying to put bats on your house. If it's written then I think that it would have to be the kind of thing where I move there voluntarily and then Henry has to come in to try and convince me to move out and then he also moves in. Because this is, Disney's a cult. You move in but then Henry gets cancelled and has to leave Hollywood. Exactly. It has to be like, right?

It's like a reverse, it's like a reverse situation of what happened with you guys in the show. If we were writing the sitcom, right, it would be that you move there voluntarily, you know, for research purposes or whatever. But then Henry finds himself, right, either canceled as perfect, Holden, because it's topical.

Right. Or, you know. And it puts like a brand on his forehead for being in that community. Totally. So, like, they'll be immediately upset that he's there because he, whatever we create for him to get canceled from.

Yes. I would love it to if he just got canceled by Disney because it's anti-Disney. So this is a part of, because they don't allow anti-Disney sentiments in said village. Just throwing that out there. He was supposed to play, like, I don't know what, like us, whatever one of the more disgusting Marvel villains, you know, the blob or whatever, they're out there, right? Some kind of, the Toad.

He's supposed to play The Toad in the New Marvel movie. He gets canceled, so Disney has canceled. He gets canceled by Disney, technically, right? Or, you look at up the Toad. Yeah, or he was playing. He's playing like one of the koala sidekicks and one of the kids movies, but then like video leaks of him, you know, saying a bunch of like horrible, you know, horrible things at a bar. Anti-goofy, yeah. Man, we've got it all figured out.

Someone get Fox on the phone. This is such a good idea. But the fact is it would be just as good as a reality show. This is the only show concept that I've ever, like, heard of where I want it to be both. both a scripted sitcom and a unscripted reality show. That's exactly what we do. We do a scripted show. I don't know which one comes first, but we do both.

It'll be groundbreaking. We'll have a companion series where one is pre-written and then one is the actual. Maybe we'll do the real one first and then write a show based on the actual experience. Yeah. Yep. I think that's good. The only problem is, I think the hardest thing is going to be getting jazz. into that community because isn't it like super hard to get you have to yes you have to cross a lot i don't

i definitely don't make enough money i definitely don't look or act appropriately to be involved in celebration florida but you know what i could definitely create a complete alter ego i bet with the whole i think that now we're day and age i could create you know some sort of fantasia line that i live in like, oh, I use the brooms and the brooms clean my house. I'm not a witch. And I think that that's really how you go about it, like saying like, oh, I'm not a witch. I just talk to the teacups. Right.

And I don't think that that's scary to them. It'll be a particularly, the irony of all of this is that it'll be a particularly satisfying experience for Disney heads because there will be a lot of deep cuts where like there's just hyper-specific references to, Disney films across the ages in terms of how Jackie disguises herself to be a normal person. Like it'll just be like nonstop Beauty and the Beast references, you know, man, the, the, the possibility is- Yeah, I'll call it bed knobs and pooch sticks and I'll just keep pointing up my pussy. So, I mean, a condo slash townhome isn't too terrible. It's possible. Compared to New York,

It's probably, I could probably move there right now. Yeah, exactly. All the hotels, all the homes are in pastels. See, that's where I think that I'd have to, I'd be like, I don't know if I can handle. I think I'm good. I ain't no Easter egg, bitch. But one thing that I imagine that their homes are going to be filled with in celebration of Florida over the holidays is some quarantine ornaments. Now I, yes, I'm referring to cornaments.

And yes, that is what I've decided to start calling it. I don't always have to put two words together just because you can is all I'm going to say. I think the problem is. I got to stand with Jackie. In this case, you do have to put the two words together. I think you have to. I went down quite a worm time, unfortunately, because I was like, I want to like it. I don't know.

I get ornaments because I've been kind of losing my mind and making a lot of crafts lately because it's the only way I can quell some of the screeching that keeps happening in my brain. so I've been crafting. And I was like, I should buy more ornaments because I don't have enough. And since again, you guys heard me complain because I'm going to be, you know, alone on Christmas. Smoking weed, alone on Christmas,

and I need some ornaments to join me. But this year, if you look up 2020 ornaments, there's a bunch of ornaments that are just, it's making my brain hurt. Well, first of all, the big problem is the intense amount of toilet paper corn, cornuments as if that has dominated pandemic this year and quarantine when really that was a

flash in the pan moment of 2020 when nobody could find any toilet paper it literally only lasted for like I want to say a few weeks I never had an issue finding toilet paper personally so I don't even know what the fuck is happening with this country but either way I just think it's very silly and very to use the same word in another word ridiculous to say oh let's do a bunch of toilet paper

themed ornaments as if that is even a thing anyone's thinking of. You know what I mean? I was just looking at them and getting more and more furious. That's right. As they went page by page looking at the courtaments and just, I don't want shit paper on my tree. No. I enjoy some of them, but then all of them are just like, the year we stayed in. But Jackie, don't you want the one that is the personalized Dr. Fauci Christmas Ornament?

that has Dr. Fauci holding a sign that says keep calm and wash your hands. I'm furious. I'm so mad. I'm so mad about them that I don't know if I want to break the computer and have or if I want to buy 20 of them. They make me so angry. And I just, I sent some to hold in because a lot of them are like, you know the ornaments that you can get where it's the little faces of your family and then your name is

underneath. And so now that, of course, they do that, but everyone is masked. And so it's a family that's masked. And then underneath it, all of the like prep names for it are like the dumbest hybrid names. Like Bringenson with WISE in there. You know, it makes me just filled with anger. I will say I love this 2020 dumpster fire ornament. It's just a dumpster with flames coming out of it.

and 2020 written on the dumpster. That's fun. I would get that. That is perfect. I am a little bit sad about this one. That's just a guy standing alone with a mask on. And it says social distance expert. And I feel like that's very sad.

That's so sad. Yeah, it's just like I'm incredibly lonely. So I'm really good at this year because I suck. And I was going to be mad at all of the ones that they're too. I was like, they're too lighthearted. It's all like, oh, toilet paper shortage. but then there's one that's like a ribbon that says like always remember. And I don't like that either.

No, I don't know how I feel. And then there's also, for some reason, I think it's just, I know it's forever that everyone is obsessed with friends. I've also seen friends a hundred times. I do get it. But then there's a bunch of in the friends lettering that says, the one where we were quarantined 2020. Fuck you.

I'm so mad about it. I'm so mad about it. I do like this quarantine ornament. that is a COVID ball, like the actual virus, the little red thing sticking off of it. And it has googly eyes and it's wearing a mask that has 2020 written on it, which is great. Also, a masked Grinch from the Grinch who stole Christmas.

And it says, stink, stank, stunk above him with 2020 written above that. Even that I'm kind of into. It's just something. You're right. It's the both sides of it that I just don't know. And that's why I think I, That's not why I think.

That's why I call them cornaments, because it deserves a disgusting name. Cornaments makes me furious. Say cornuments aloud right now. Put it in your mouth. Put cornuments in your mouth. No, no. If you say cornuments too many times, the evil cornument man shows up and fucking puts a bunch of shitty ornaments on your tree and it leaves.

He doesn't even, like, harm you or anything. He just sucks. No, are they all friends references? I found one that says, I survived another Zoom call that should have been an email. Ugh. Ugh.

Oh. So, by the way, that's just an office meeting thing. That's not even a quarantine thing. That's just office meetings. Right. That's a recycled joke. My,

the last job I had, my boss, once every week or so, would literally go, all right, everybody, surprise meeting, don't worry, it's just going to be about a fifth, it was just a quick one, 15 minutes. It was always at least an hour with the same like two people.

And the same person at the very end when you thought, oh my God, it might end after just 45 minutes. And then that one person's like, I have questions. And then they just have like an interaction with each other. It could have been had a separate. Obviously, stop. If you're a manager, don't call meetings just because you have the power to, you psychopath, just.

fucking put it in an email at all possible. All right, I'm done. I like, see, I do miss the years when we wrote sketch comedy because Holden would bring this anger from his office into our sketches. And it's a world I know nothing

about because I'm really just, I've only been fired once and that was from an office job that I worked because I just did, I was like, I, what is, what's the impetus here? I'm like, what am I, I'm just supposed to put the numbers in the boxes?

I don't understand. Well, there was the shampoo incident when you were in... We don't bring that up. I know. It's going to fit up. Wrongfully fired. That was a wrongful fired. Technically, though, we're going to write it down on a piece of paper and Jack were to fill out

of a questionnaire and said, how many times were you fired? That one wasn't my fault. It's because, what is it? What was that? Lehman's, the Lehman Brothers? I blame fucking them. blame them in their asses. But you know what I'm not going to blame them for

because Holden found a little nuggy for us to gnaw on today. And yeah, I'm talking about, I can't believe I did not know that Netflix is unveiling three different Fear Street movies. What? Where have I fucking been?

I, we have nothing, I have nothing else to really say about it. I just need you guys to know that next year, three Fear Street movies are coming out on Netflix. And I'm so excited. Crucially, we don't know. They're just called Fear Streets.

We have very little information. We know the director. We know they're called Fear Streets, One, Two, and Three. But they don't have, like, the subtitles. Like, is it the one of the ones about the actual Fear Street house? Or is it one of the ones about, you know, there's so many options for what it could be. Or are they going to come up with some new bullshit plot? Hopefully they take an existing plot, but, you know, there's just a lot.

I've got maybe some answers, but the problem. Okay, Jillian Jacobs is listed here. Okay, cool. So in February 2019, it was reported that Keanu Madira and Olivia Welch would be starring in the film as gay teenagers, quote, trying to navigate their rocky relationship when they're targeted by the crazy horrors of their small town shady side. The two characters are from different time periods, with one being from the mid-90s and the other being from the 1600s. What? Wait a second.

No, that sounds right. In a second. Excuse me? There was ghosts and time travel. This also says the plot and this is, I'm just looking at Wikipedia which could be very wrong. Okay, no, I see it. Fear Street 1 is set in 1994. Fear Street 2 is set in 1978.

Fear Street 3 is set in 1960, or I'm sorry, in 1666. What? Interesting. And then up to the 1994, it seems like all three of them are. might have tie in to each other. Weird. I don't know, but I'm, I'm so on board with this. I want to throw up everywhere.

Did they time jump in the original series at all? It wasn't that they time jump, but it was a, you know, it was an anthology. Like they, they're each, there was both. They were non-sequitur. Yeah, there was like a driving narrative of like actual, there was like, how do I put it? Like, there was like, um, there was like the original series or like there was actual Fear Street, but there was different characters. Usually every book was about something different, but then there was also like series within the series of Fear Street

where there was continuity. So there could be a book that's set in the 1600s, but then there could also be like three books that are the continuation of a story. And I'm sure, Jackie, we probably did this years ago when we talked about Fear Street, but I did bring up a bunch of images of the actual titles and the like the you know if anyone does not remember what the images of fear street books look like so sexy they were very sexy they always um usually had like a sexy ghost boy uh and or a sexy ghost girl um but they had the title and then they always had like a little teaser on the cover so for example fear street by r l stein the title of the book is the new boy but then the little subtitle on oh my god i loved the new boy

On the title is, he was a hunk of trouble. Right? Why do you think I want to have sex with a ghost? I primarily blame Fear Street and also thank a Fear Street. Also, I want to say the director of all three apparently films is Lee Janiac, and she directed a movie called Honeymoon, and Jackie, you said that was a really fun horror film. It's great. It's delightful. I really enjoy.

I'm so excited that that is her. I don't know anything else about her other work, but I did enjoy that movie. That was one of those movies that I put on randomly, and I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed it. You know, it's always a nice little thing. I don't think it's the best movie of all time, but it is definitely fun.

So what they're going to be doing is next summer. They're calling it the summer of fear, and they're going to be releasing the movies one month apart from each other. Yeah, that's great. I love it. I love it. Something to look forward to. Something.

It's something to look forward to it. It got scooped up as everything's going digital now. It was supposed to be released this year, I believe, and the Netflix swept in and said 2021, get it done. But is it going to be Fear Streets, the dare? Some girls will do anything for a guy, even kill. Whoa, I would. I would.

Jackie, I dare you to kill Jeff. No. A lot of these are not. snappy at all. Like the thrill club, they're dying to join. Yeah, you know, well, there's a lot of them, Molly. They can't all be a Honda. Or most of them not that very strong.

Whoa. I guess I need to get more Fear Street books. I think I said this back then, and I think I did buy some of them, but that's when I lived my other life. And so I don't have them anymore. And I think that I need to start getting back into, because that is the eternal question. Is it as sexy as I remember or was I just 12? I think it, which is a fun game I like to play with myself. Because there are a lot of things that I thought were sexy that watching as an

adult, I'm like, girl, you were just so horny that anything to you was sexy. I mean, the boy next door book cover, I'm going to say that person is not a sexy guy. He's very upsetting looking to me, I think. And maybe it's the shadows on his face, but he has kind of a weird lump face. that I'm not a fan of. I had this because I recently rewatched Karate Kid because of Cobur Kai. And I was like, Ralph Machio, well-being, very cute, looks like he's about 10 years old in that movie. And it's weird that he was in his early 20s, like, so weird that I kept being like, getting in your lying.

There's no way that he was that old because he looks like such a child. But also, it's okay that we all, people my age, had a crush on him because he was older than us. and like if we were 10 and he looked 12, like it's fine. But he looked so young that it is so strange to think about how many people were horny for him looking so young. Oh my God. But also if you look up The Boy Next Door, it also brings up images of the Jennifer Lopez movie The Boy Next Door, which I completely, I feel like this is one of these movies that every three years I remember exists. And now that is a sexy cover. Is this the whole point of this movie?

I don't think I've ever actually seen it. Is it just that she has sex with someone that's young? And then is he a murderer? This looks spicy. Jesus Christ. It's an erotic psychological horror. Well, I guess somebody's going to get laid tonight. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to make. Oh, Ryan Guzman was in it. Now I remember this movie. Is that? And that is, oh, who is that? Ryan Guzman is someone that. Henry worked with on heroes. That's the dude that showed Henry

had to get yoked. And Henry put that advice in his back pocket to get to at a different time. Yeah. Oh, whatever. See, Henry, I can say mean things about you. He's got a little yoked out a little bit. He actually is very, he's very strong.

When a handsome charming teenager named Noah moves in next door, newly separated high school teacher Claire encourages his friendship and engages in a little bit of harmless or so she thinks flirtation. Although Noah spends much of the time hanging out with Claire's son, the teen's attraction to her is palpable. One night Claire gives into temptation. He is a teacher, you are a teacher and he is a teenage. One night Claire gives into temptation and lets Noah seduce her. But when she tries to end the relationship, he turns violent.

This is very, never mind. I don't want to watch this. This seems very upsetting. This was made in 2015. That's not that long ago. Maybe it's just because I've been reading Twilight, so I'm sorry, my sidebars are usually when I am reading it and me like, no, no, no, no, red flag.

Can we have a red flag alert? What do they say in the ball games? Throw the flag. Right? Am I ball? Throw the flag? Yeah, yeah. You toss up a flag in the air and then shoot it with a gun.

And if the ref hits it, then the person has to leave the battling court. Oh my God, I am such a ball! I guess I won't watch that movie, but I might watch a movie, but I shouldn't watch that movie. Oh, my God. I'm going to need you guys to, when you're done recording, just look at all of the Fear Street covers because they're incredible. And some of them are very terrifying. The prom queen, it's a picture of a girl wearing a very, very 80s prom dress looking in the mirror, but looking back at her reflection, it's a skull. It's a skull!

The subtitle is she was drop dead beautiful. And it is still one of my favorite images. On our Patreon, Molly and I were graciously turned into a Fear Street cover. And it is one of my favorite images of all time. Me too. And it was the actual Fear Street title was Truth or Dare. And the subtitle is it started as a. game, but it ended in death.

I just love that all the subtitles are like not even plays on words. They're just like, here's what happens. Isn't that scary? There's a haunted dog and it hurt a guy. It's a ghost. The boy is a ghost. The cheerleader has upside down feet. I mean, I'm definitely spooked, but not as not spooked as I was.

That was a bad one. That was a bad trick. Try it again. Try it again. I do want to think that now... Wow, that was somehow worse, Jackie. Come on. I'm scared over here.

All right, what was the last thing? Fear Street. What's the next thing you want to talk about? I'll try to come up with one. Well, I wanted to talk about the page seven email. Okay. I was definitely spooked out by those covers, but what made me scream with glee was the new page seven email emails that we got in our inbox.

And that again is page 7 podcast at gmail.com, page the number 7 podcast at gmail.com. And we did get some really solid. In fact, today's celebrity conspiracy is one of those emails, which I'm very thrilled about. Whoa, I'm excited, but I did want to say a quick thank you

to Flick Bean because Flick Bean sent us this video because last week we were talking about Flick Bean is just, it's great. Flick Bean sent us a video because last week we were talking about Jackie. Stollone and apparently Jackie Stallone was on Celebrity Big Brother UK

I need completely open here. I have never once seen an episode of Big Brother but every time I see clips from it I'm like why have I not watched this show for the past 20 years? Right. Because for some reason they were dressed

up in like Colt's garb? Court? Court like Jester like court hood garb and Jackie Stallone was being introduced and Jackie Stallone walks in and she just

goes, yeah, it's Jackie! And that's her entrance of that if Jackie Stallone walked in I would know who she was. I can't imagine a bunch of regular young people would know who Jackie Stallone is. And so then all of them

just what a great entrance line. Yeah, it's Jackie. And I think, so I've been saying that now every time I walk into a room, really irritating my roommates. I think it's very funny in the same way I keep saying you got to be souping me and you are the weakest link goodbye. And no one ever smiles.

Oh, what was my great joke, Holden? I've got so many crabs, my pussy. No. I started a sea shanty. I think that was it. Oh, you mean that then I would be the richest person you knew if I could create my own crabs to sell? I say,

dip him in bottle. Yeah, you got my pooch crabs. Gip them and butter. And that will be my second new catchphrase. But you got to be super me with it. And nobody knew who Jackie Stallone was, but now I kind of want to watch Celebrity Big Brother UK.

I just need, I feel like it's one of those shows you can't go back to the beginning and watch. Yeah. Or can you? I don't know. It's too much. It's like, it's like, it's like one piece. the anime, it's like thousands of episodes.

I tried to do it with The Bachelor and the Bachelorette, and I just straight up gave up. I was like, this isn't as one as I wanted it to be. And I feel like if I had gotten involved in the beginning, and my friends enjoyed it, the way like we all do with the 90-day fiancé. I feel like if I had gotten in at the bottom floor, I would be totally about the Bachelor and Bachelorette.

And now I just can't. I wish I could. I'm also going to say I would think you would be pretty hard-pressed to find a more entertaining character than Sylvester Salone's mother doing the show. So I think the whole time you'd just be like, when is it going to get as good

as that one clip I saw? I think that's right. Right? I think it peaked. Like no one else has a catchphrase. Like, you know what I mean? It's just young people screaming at each other. Like, this is not as good.

And also, Jackie, it's not like you need, it's not like, you know, uh, Shits Creek, for example, where you need to start from the beginning. You could probably just watch the current season, you know? It's not like you need to know what happened before. Because they make, they make kiss, right? Don't they make fuck on that show?

Sure. It's like the whole thing. They do it on, they do it in the bed and you see it from the corner, you know, freaky security camera view. That's like the first, I feel like that's the first like, ooh, watch people make out aside from the real world. They were the pioneers. Yeah, real world.

It was so funny how quickly real world went from like, we're going to be a documentary about young people to just like, we are going to try to get these people as hammered and fucking each other as possible as soon as quickly as possible. Why do you think I wanted to be on it? I wanted to be on it so. badly. So Lexie, Holden's beautiful wife, and also so much more,

sent me the email of applying to be on the next The Circle. Yeah. And I thought about it for a second. But then I realized it's just no fun if you can't bounce off of anybody. You're just monologuing in a room to yourself.

I also don't think I'm young or single. Yeah, I mean, the game of it would be fun. The game of it would be fun, though. I would be. I mean, you know how bad I am at that stuff though I'm so bad would you be yourself or would you fake it you you I think you should be like a hot model guy you should be like Robert actually pretend you're Robert Pattinson oh I can't I all I dream about is Robert Pattinson now because my boy baby stuff that's rough Molly would you would you be yourself on a social media game where you can choose to either be yourself

or be a catfish and trick people and then what would you you be if you were a catfish? Oh, that's tough because I've always tempted to, you know, like I was the type of kid who would just like write like 200-page novels to like explore a fantasy alternate identity that I wanted to be instead of myself. So the catfishing part. Tell us about that. I want to hear more about that, Molly. You know, I think it was mostly like the gender dysphoria talking. So I would just write like long novels about being a boy, basically. Yeah, you should be like Chet Chadley or something like that. Yeah, I feel like it would be fun to be like a hot guy, like a hot queer guy.

But the catfishing part involves like lying in manipulation, which I don't want. But the like fantasy being a different person does sound intriguing. Dude, I would love to be like, yeah, I think I would have a lot of fun trying to be like the popular girl from school kind of person. I think that would be super fun. Yeah, but I feel like, Holden, and I think that you are very talented in many ways. But I don't know if you could act like a hot girl that wasn't a caricature of a hot girl. I feel like you'd be like, I'm touching my breasts right now. You would be like, it would be like too close.

It would be like artificial intelligence when a robot is like pretty close to being a human, but not quite. because you are very, very good at satirizing, like, shitty hot girls, but it would, but I think that your, like, your desire to make fun of them. They'd be like, this seems like a man who hates women. Yes, exactly, right. I'm going to go with, definitely vote this one out. I would say, maybe, you know, it would be fun of be a baby. Just be like, you know, goo, you know what I mean?

Like, hey, Google. Oh, Gaggy, I want milk. Where's my mommy? Yeah, where's the milk? You know what I mean? and have little baby avatars and little dancing babies even, Jackie, to give you a segue. No, don't hold in.

Because you did send us the history of the dancing baby, which you made me read, and I'm mad at you for that. Yeah, I thought it was so fun. I was talking, so in my email this week, because it is a weirdly light week when it comes to fun, like positive entertainment news. And so, and you know it's a light week. When Vulture put out a very long article on where do dancing baby,

come from the story behind the classic Allie McBeal scene. And I was like, what year is it? I mean, I weirdly enough do use the dancing baby often in my Instagram stories because I think it's funny. But I also am comically not a pertinent topic character in my normal life. And I think that's funny. I just, um, Holda, did you want to say what you learned? What I, what I learned from this?

Yeah, what did you learn from the, article. First of all, just an overall comment, and I just wish that we could all kind of start, maybe vulture in all these places stop when you commission somebody to write an article, forcing them to hit a certain word limit. Because I always have to get through this opening bullshit, which is like, babies, there's young people that came out of a woman. You know what I mean?

And I'm like, I know that. I know that. And I know you're just trying to hit a word quota. And it's so infuriating. So in this one, before Crazy Ex-Girlfriends, Rebecca Bunch, use song and dance numbers to interpret her inner monologues. And before Jane the... Oh, did that happen?

Oh, did it? It's so funny. And I love it because Holden will read everything that I said in my... I now know how this scan through. Be like, okay, that's nothing. That's going to be nothing. Where's the meat? Okay, cool.

Is it a full three paragraphs in before we actually get any information that's not just the fucking... most basically known shit ever. I think it's just so funny because who cares? I've never thought this much about it. And I'm aware of the fact that a lot, this was a hit show. A lot of thought went into it, the creation of it.

I think that's very cool. But nowadays, it is just like, you did what? You used a broomstick to stand it for the baby. Yeah, it's like we've seen Lord of the Rings. We know how green screen works, okay? And the thrust of the article was like, oh, now you've got viral videos all the time. But back in the late 90s,

there was just one viral video and it was Ali McBeal on prime time. Like it was very, it was like, I get it. We're doing a retrospective. Only people who are reading the article knows what the fucking thing is. So just get into the meat of the thing. Like we know what it is.

No like millennial who has no memory of this is like, I want to know all about this thing that happened on TV before I was born, you know, that I don't have any reference up. It's really, it's a tweet. It's like, oh, have you ever thought that the Allie Macbill baby was like an early meme? Like that's the sentence. Yeah. You just need one sentence. Yes. Yes.

So either way, the one thing I learned was there were parodies of it such as psycho baby, rasta baby, which I'm sure was in no way problematic, car crash baby. drunken baby, which shows the corrupted digital infant smoking, drinking, beer, and urinating. So that's a lot of fun. Calvin and Hobbs, the dancing baby. The Calvin and Hobbs. This makes me think of that the hamster dance was also an early meme. Yes, I loved hamster dance. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do it.

I loved it. I laughed. All the time. And I laughed, and I laughed. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I love the hamster dance. There was also, uh, I have. My mom, so I used to help teach at a college for kids, like summer camp for little kids when I was a kid.

And my mom taught, like, in the mid-90s, my mom was a librarian and she taught like a how to use the internet class in the mid-90s for kids. And I helped. Wow. And so I remember some of the very, very early. It was like when like Lycos.com and you would like teach kids like how to find the search bar and stuff and how to like, you know, click on things with the mouse. but there was like this was you know we would teach them how to use a search engine and there was some again early meme that was like take any like fandom so we would say like oh kids what are you interested in are you interested in like Mickey Mouse or you interested in the Three Stooges

and there was like an early thing with mid-90s internet that was like whatever fandom and then ate my balls so the kids kept finding these websites that were like the Three Stooges ate my balls Mickey Mouse ate my balls Yeah Great stuff That's so dumb Still funny I love how dumb it is though

Because that's what That's all we had That's all we had That and the dancing baby Was all we had You want to know something else that's dumb This week's celebrity conspiracy How dare you bring us a dumb one

No I want you to change our life With this conspiracy I didn't bring, well, honestly, it is kind of weird. I sent you a video link, and I also want to say this celebrity conspiracy came from Rebecca. Thank you, Rebecca. And if you have a conspiracy theory to share a celebrity conspiracy theory, that is, please send it to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That's page the number seven podcast at gmail.com.

And this week is the Cardi B. M.K. Ultra glitch. Let's talk about it. A little bit of a crossover last podcast right here. Cardi B. By the way, I'm about to do the thing that I just complained about. Cardi B is an American rapper, songwriter, and actress.

Who became a massive success, especially after a commercial debut single, Bodak Yellow, and the release of her debut LP invasion of privacy. And she's recently divorced, but also recently seen kissing offset in Las Vegas. Interesting.

MK Ultra is also referred to as the CIA Minor. control program that consisted of experiments done on human subjects involving the development of drugs and procedures used in interrogations to weaken the individual and force confessions through mind control, which included the authorized purchase of LSD for human experimentation. Obviously, there's a whole last podcast to the left episode, just go listen to that. Either way, there was a video, and it was posted in 2018 by a username Scientific Vision. It is a clip from the 2018 Grammy Awards, during which Cardi B.

is answering questions on the red carpet when she all of a sudden stops speaking and stares into the camera and then eventually snaps out of it. Rebecca had this to say, you will lose brain cells watching this, but please see video below as they expose her

for the mind control robot that she apparently is. Scientific Vision in the video description said Cardi B has a MK Ultra glitch and you can hear the handler say it's good, it's good, it's good. Maybe the trigger words because she snaps out of it

and continues the interview. And in the comments, scientific vision goes on to say, does anyone else out here have another explanation besides a glitch in her programming? MK. Ultra, question mark, question mark. It sounds like the handler says

it's good three times, and she steps out of it. Is this what you get when you, quote, make it? I love that there's no other option of what it could be. There's no way that her earpiece went out and that she couldn't hear what was going on and then maybe it came back in

maybe that's why someone's saying it's good, it's good, it's good for her to keep going. Because I don't know if you've ever been mid-sentence and then someone stops you. You ever look at your face? Doesn't your face drop when you're in the middle of a thought and then you have to not think that anymore? Did you watch it? No reason why a, you know, a stage manager figure would say it's good during a live performance other than to reset a robot. Robot!

It is a weird, she does like weirdly. It's weird, I think, what she does in this video. Definitely check it out. It's called Cardi B. MK. Ultra Glitch. Also, the people behind her are, like, in sync with the moment in this weird way. Look at the three people behind her when she switches angles here. They, like, notice it. Cardi B. MK. Ultra Glitch.

So, look, the people behind, they, like, look over and then they kind of look back, and they're sort of giving her a weird side eye when that happens. I'm just saying it's probably the situation that's described by scientific vision. You're right. I didn't look at the people behind her. that's an MK Ultra glitch right there. They're keyed in. That is her being controlled by the government.

So, Molly, consensus. Was that an MK. Ultra glitch that Cardi B displayed on the red carpet of the Grammys in 2018 or any number of a thousand different possible things that that could be? Okay, upon watching it, I actually do think that it's a little bit like she's a robot who got turned off. It's weird. She like snaps into a weird face for like two seconds and then snaps out. It is not, that's why I do urge people to watch it because it's like, not just like, what the fuck is this? Yeah.

But it's also like very stupid. Yeah. No, I might have gotten off my high horse about how silly this sounds. I don't think I believe it. I don't think she's a robot. But something happens. Something happened. I think it's like a drug thing maybe.

Jackie. I also believe something happened. I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt of the fact that this was, I'm assuming her first Grammys, probably a lot going on in her brain, her trying to pay attention. But I don't like the way those bitches look in the background. And I don't trust the government. So I'm going to say she is being controlled. Interesting. All right.

There you go. What do you guys think at home? And again, please, thank you again, Rebecca. and I love these, so keep them coming if you have a conspiracy, if you have a blind item, if you have a story for Jackie, please send it to page 7, podcast at gmail.com. That's page the number seven at podcast at gmail.com. Over to you, Jackie. Oh, oh, I guess it's my time to shine because it's time for the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Jackie. You gotta have that list. Ooh, we've got ourselves a long list today, so it might be a continuation, because we've got 40 fascinating facts about your favorite horror movie. Well, it sounds to me like somebody doesn't want to have to come up with another list for next week, but go on. The airy interesting way you say that. But no, we're going to go through every.

Now, the thing is that I know that we've done lists like this in the past Halloween era. So I remember some of the ones that we have read already, but some of them I feel like are new to my brain space and I wanted to share. Like in Nosphiratu, which I will be watching this year for the first time throwing that out there, never actually seen it, and I think it is my time, that Count Orlock only blinks once in Nospheratu.

In the nine minutes of screen time, Max Shrek has as Count Orlock, in Merno's classic Nospharatu, He blinks only one time. Maybe he's controlled by MK Ultra. You ever think about that? I haven't. Thank you for responding. Definitely not thought about that.

Definitely think about it now because you're forcing me to think about it. I know I've already told you guys that The Exorcist was the first horror film to be nominated for Best Picture Oscar. But what I didn't know was that Robert England was not the first choice to play Freddie Kruger. even though he's just so good at it, recently watched the documentary Scream Queen on Shudder, which is about the quote-unquote gayest of the Freddie Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and it is about how that sentiment unfortunately ruined the lead star's life as someone that was not out as an actor or as a human being yet, and it ruined a lot, but now he is back and doing a lot better.

please check out Scream Queen on Shudder. But West Craven reportedly planned to have a stunt man play the seemingly immortal youth hater known as Freddie Kruger, but opted to go with an accomplished actor for the role instead. His first choice was the brilliant British character actor David Warner, who you'll no doubt recognized from Time Bandits, Titanic, and various incarnations of Star Trek. Warner had to pass on the project, which opened the door for the evening. truly excellent Robert England.

Here's another fan factoid. Psycho is the first American film to feature a toilet. Yeah, this is so weird, and we talked about this for television as well, right? With like all in the family, wasn't it? Yes. That was a toilet flush. Is it because it's improper

back then? I believe so. That is so weird. It's like everybody poops. Like, what do you mean? It really tells you a lot about our all of this repressed shit we have that they were like, we can't see a toilet on the image that would scandalize us all. And the shame that our culture has

of going to the bathroom that it is not the same in other countries and I feel that it shouldn't be. So, you know, that wasn't even weirdly that long ago that they weren't showing turrets. I did know that Stephen King is not a fan of the movie shining. Yes, this is, no,

and this is one of those things where like, I'm so not a fan of how he ends things and I love Kubrick Shining. I think it is one of the greatest horror films, if not the greatest of all time. And it's so funny to me

that Stephen King hates that movie. Dude, and it's so good. And I also throwing it out there. I watched the Dead Zone last night for the first time. The Christopher Walkin, David Cronenberg, Stephen King mashup,

never seen it. So good. That's really good. cool. So good. It's more of a like a thriller than it is a horror movie, but I really, I mean I really dug it. Please, you should check

it out. You're probably, look at me with all my movie wrecks. I've been watching so many horror movies. That's all I'm doing. It's all I live now. I'm going to finish it tonight, but late night, last night, I started Jennifer's body and it's a very good. It is a very good. It's scary, a lot scary than I thought

it was, I thought it was going to be a lot campier than it is. It's actually like, legit. They do the hilarious. Who's the lead actress that's not Megan Fox that movie? They do such a fucking funny job of like, she's the non-attractive nerdy girl, friend of the hot girl. Like that actress is going to be hottest people on the planet. Amanda Seafreed.

Amanda Seafreed's like, are you kidding me? Or at least hottest actresses. Like, are you funny? It's so funny when they do that. I'm like, can you guys like pick anyone that would suit that role a little bit better than the hot? Like one of the hottest actresses? I feel like that was something that they used to do in movies that I think that for the most part,

they have been at least trying to change as someone that like, especially whenever they call, maybe I'm just more sensitive to being a bigger woman that whenever they're like, and then this fat bitch comes in. She's fat? What are you taught? Like Love Actually. Like Natalie and Love Actually. Yes.

Love Actually is so funny. You're such a fat woman And she's just like not He's hot and curvy Like what are you I just That shit That are the amount of auditions

I go in for that like Dregs of the world The fattest bitch Walks in Oh Jackie you're perfect for that I'm fine I don't have And I don't have emotional trauma

From trying to work in the entertainment Anyway Did you guys know That serial killer Ed Gein inspired three major horror movies. I didn't realize. I knew that he did Texas chainsaw massacre, but I wasn't aware that Psycho and the Silence of the Lambs

was also based off of Ed Gein and what he was getting himself into. Maybe that's a bit of a last podcast faux pa over on this girl, but I don't think about it very often. And maybe I should. Right. Well, I mean, definitely just like the wearing of skin. I think that's where it comes into play with Silence of the Lambs. Oh, gotcha.

Yeah, yeah. I, you know, because we were watching the TV show Hannibal, we recently did the whole trilogy of Silence of the Lambs, Red Dragon and Hannibal, and... Which one's your favorite? Silence of the Lambs, I think,

is definitely the best movie. It's just like a great... Like, it's just a... up there with one of the greatest films of all time. Yeah, it was fantastic. But I like Red Dragon because I want to have sex with Edward Norton. I understand. Yes.

Man, where is Edward Norton? Good question. I think he's a baddie, isn't he? Didn't we learn that nobody likes him? At the very least, I think he's a kind of an asshole to work with. Yeah, I don't think he's canned for say, but I think that he is not nice. Yeah, but he's just not, he doesn't have the best rep in terms of professionally. For sure.

Gotcha. I get, I mean, I understand, but still, man, back the death of Smoochy days, baby. Give me a kiss. Love it. And my last one for the day was that Tim Burton was in contention to direct Gremlins. That would have been cool. There was a lot of buzz surrounding Tim Burton after the success of Frankenweeney, so much so that Steven Spielberg considered him to direct Gremlins.

But the fact that Burton had yet to direct a feature film worked against him, and the gig was given to Joe Dante. A year later, Burton released his first theatrical feature, Pewee's big adventure, which you can hear more about on our Peewee Herman episode of pop history. Also, we did a Gremlin's episode and The Bruiser.

Also, we mentioned earlier the Dancing Baby and the director of that Allie McBeal episode approached none other than his friend Joe Dante to get advice because Joe Dante had, of course, already done Gremlin's on how to make the dancing baby happen and he helped him out with that

with the weird stick. I can't believe that you just made the dancing baby relevant to a separate conversation. That was heroic, Holden. That is insane. That was really good. See, look at what we're doing. See, this, I knew it.

That's why I included the article for your perusal. And yeah, I knew that this is going to happen because I'm a bit of a witch. Don't tell Celebration, Florida. I don't, I didn't know that my eyesight would start going away. Oh, no, what's going to happen? Actually, I did know because it happens every episode for some reason, right around this timestamp in the episode, like right about an hour in, for about 10 minutes, and then it comes back and to be in the episode.

What happens? You go... I think I'm going... Blind items. Oh, we can't see them. Guys, I'm not going to lie. I got a couple of turds this week. It's also a bad week for blind items.

Oh, yeah. Is it really? I don't know. Maybe you tell me. Oh, is a lot going on in the world that is a little bit more important than celebrity gossip? Yes. Yeah. Celebrity gossip.

Yeah, exactly. But we're smiling, and I like this. Or it's just dumb shit like Tom Cruise wears masks and photos, but he doesn't actually practice the mask wearing properly. That's a blind item this week. He wears a masks. That's a blind item. That's a blind item, by the way, I wrote down and then was like, I can't,

this cannot happen on the show. This is such a bad blind item. So hopefully these are slightly better. The dude lives in an alternate reality. Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, who cares? Also, who gives a shit at this point? Anyways, I mean, I guess I do want everyone wear masks,

but just like not, I mean, if you're a weird Scientology millionaire guy. Oh, you're talking about, like, coronavirus masks. I thought you met like a full mask

like Michael Meyer. Like I was like, what are you talking about? That's his face. Like he's not practicing fucking mask. Oh, but that makes unfortunately a lot of sense. But sure.

Extremely predictable. Yeah. So anyways, here's, Here's the first one. This is a little species spicy. One of the reasons for the fallout between this A-list rapper and her sister

is because it is really bad form for the sister to have slept with the husband of the rappers. The rapper's female. The rapper that would be with a husband that's known for cheating. It's just weird because all I can think of is Beyonce and Solange,

but I think not Colori rapper. The sister you might not know her. The sister you might not know his name. I didn't know her name until this. And she does have kind of, I think, a humor, a odd name, I'll say. But the husband is also famous? Yes.

And is also a rapper. It's not Cardian offset, though. Yes, it's Cardi and Offset and her sister's Hennessy Carolina. Wait a second. Her sister's stupin her baby daddy? That's what this blind item insinuates. I love that her sister is in Hennessy. I would never double-cross Cardi B.

That was what I was saying. Has a bit about Hennessy Carolina. That's great. That's got to be a moniker. Am I ready to like her sister even more than I like Cardi B? Except for this behavior, which I don't condone. You should not sleep with your sister's husband. Right.

Unless you're all okay with it. It's kind of a weird mood. Jessica, I'm coming for him. I won't sleep with my sister's husband. All right, here's another one. Okay. Feast upon it, if you will. The former tween actress turned A-list,

adult singer offered a woman a thousand dollars for sex. They had sacks. And then the singer refused to pay. Isn't that fucking interesting? Say it again? I was too busy staring at pictures of Hennessy, Carolina. And also, spoiler alert, she's very attractive. I'm going to read this out loud, and then I'm going to be Googling Hennessy

Carolina. So just guess away. And if I hear the right one, I'll be like, uh-huh, while I'm looking at pictures. Is it Miley Cyrus? No, it is not. Good guess. She is hot, by the way. Disney is involved.

This former tween actress turned A-list adult singer offered a woman a thousand dollars for fucking dirty sex. They had sex and I might have been clean, actually. They might have been nice and clean for it. And then the singer refused to pay. That sucks. And I hate that singer for doing that. Yeah.

And you're saying they became an A-list singer. I'd say it says A-minus list, but I never include their weird, like, grading platform where they put blesses and minuses. is next to the letters. No, but that's helpful because a minus means it's not Ariana Grande. No. Yeah, whatever.

Ariada grade C level, as far as I'm concerned, by the way. Wario-Maliniators are. For the next three days. So whatever with that. And then maybe if you send me a gift, I'll be friends with you again after three days. Selena Gomez. No. Who that?

Is it that age group? Are we talking like Christina Aguileras? That's not A-minus. No, no, no, no. It's like around that age group. I'll say words that. Demi Lovato. Yes.

Whoa. Oh, because she's making the whole, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. That makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of blind items too about her like relapsing, blah, blah, blah, blah. This was like a cheesy. She's going through a rough, it seems she's going through a rough patch right now. It seems like a lot.

But also pay up. But I'm surprised unless she really wants to, like, I mean, I'll sleep with you, Demi Lovato. If you like a woman to sleep with, I'll definitely sleep with you. going through a rough pumpkin patch. Because it's October. Oh my God. Is that what you're calling my put? Man, I got a lot of names.

Wow. No, I'm not calling anything your pussy. You know what I mean? Or I'm not calling it that anything. You're calling it these things. No one's calling it those things. It's like a big Jackie T-shirt episode from Jackie this fucking. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's just all. It's because it's because of the Fear Street conversation. I feel all horny. I'm extra horny right now. You're like Elvira, but with like pussy. double entendre's instead of breast ones. Pumpkins, yeah, yeah.

We have the art of me and Jackie O'Sphere Street, but we just need some art of just holds on saying, I'm not calling anything your pussy. All right. This next one is a rambler. So, both pay attention and relax, because it's a bit of a,

it's a bit of a paragraph. Pay attention and relax. I just feel like, I feel like my body just, went limp, but my eyes are very acting. Here we go. Buckle up, kiddos. All right.

Whatever. I don't know. I'm not actually blind when I do these, by the way. I like it. All right. I think all too often when people discuss the darkness in Hollywood or the elite, the people being spoken about tend to be older, which is true. At one point, they were young too, though.

Looking at some people emerging, though, to take their place a couple of stood out and they're both female singers. One is a one-named A-list singer who has shown she is willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead of people or control people. She hosts gatherings at her house where she gets rid of the week. She wants people who can help her bring forth her message and to also get control of those even younger than her so she can mold them the way she wants. Another singer is A-list and is just evil.

She goes about it in an entirely different way. She is all about destroying the careers of people who get in her way. She will ruin their lives if they don't support her. She corrupts everything she touches. She relishes it. One name, big, big deal singers. Both of them are one named? One, no, one is one name.

The other is a two named, I'll say moniker. Rihanna. No. Beyonce. Yes. Who's the other one? Who's the evil one that relishes? So there's the good one.

one, but the good one is not hosting parties. Evil. They're both evil, but just one is just. The answer is evil and hosting parties. The other is trying to take people's souls away from them. Yeah, sort of a soul-sucking kind of. She's about destroying the careers. But she's just a singer.

She destroys careers of people who get in her way. In fact, there's a conspiracy theory that we've talked about with her about how she literally destroyed a person. Nikki Minaj. No, but the interesting. Lady Gaga. Yes. Whoa.

So I think this is just one of those, like, racist, misogynist things or whatever or sexist things, but I couldn't find a lot this week. No, which means it has to be true. So if it's buried, that means it has to be true. No, it's just, no, it's definitely a problem to it. It's just very funny to think. So Beyonce hosts parties where she, quote,

gets rid of the week, whatever that fucking means. I do kind of get the Lady Gaga, like, because there is a conspiracy theory about her actually having someone killed. to check out our leading Gaga pop history. Maybe I'll bring it into page seven. I haven't done it on page seven proper. So maybe we'll talk about it here and get Molly's thoughts. Please.

Yeah, for sure. That's definitely something. But either way, do you guys believe it? I guess we'll do conspiracy corner again. Do you think that Beyonce hosts parties where she, quote, gets rid of the week? And again, I'll just say whatever the fuck that means. And Lady Gaga, do you think that she, I think Lady Gaga. Do you think that she...

I think Lady Gaga would definitely be one to, like, are you in my fucking way? Now you're not. I could see that. I could definitely see that. I do think that if we're talking about the same Beyonce that has the uterus farms, I would assume that she would also have parties

to get rid of the week. I imagine that it's something to do with the pandemic, though, so that it's like, you know, if it dies, it dies, you know, doing one of those kind of things. And that that is how she is, quote, unquote, getting rid of the week. week. And I think that, you know what, I think that unfortunately celebrities are still having

parties regardless of everything that's happening because they think and know that since they have money that they are above having to follow the rules of us insignificance. But I agree with it. I think both of them are doing these horrible things. There you go. I think, Molly, I think that there is a world and a normal world in which Beyonce gets rid of the week just by being Like, if you're Beyonce, you just automatically kind of get, doesn't you just your presence kind of get rid of the week because nobody whose week can even stand to be around you because you're so intimidating and awesome.

Yeah, if you're that powerful and that driven, you're just naturally like not going to end up suffering any fools, right? I mean, I think that's really all that is speaking to. Exactly. But it's just funny they think, like, she has gatherings where she purposely invites the week, and then she gets rid of them. Like, I don't even know.

Like, what do you mean? Is it like a saw-style game they play in her mansion where she like makes them solve riddles? Yeah, that I don't believe. But I do believe that her mere presence has a way of just eliminating the week. I do believe that. Oh, yeah. I'm never ever going to even, if I was in the same room, unless someone, this will never happen. So I can't even believe I'm speaking about this.

But unless someone actively forced an introduction, I would just never even imagine approaching a Beyonce. Can you imagine holding Beyonce and just? just being like so nice to meet you. My Beyonce, more of a T-Swift fan. Just gonna throw that out there right up top. I will see lots of people have said she's very, that she is at least very nice. That's awesome.

I believe it. The word on the street. I believe it. That is nice. But maybe it's because she gets rid of the week. She would stand against her. She's nice to the strong. Of course, they're not the week.

She gets rid of those. She has a human-sized vacuum cleaner. She's like, step into, I have to cleanse this room, step forward. You know what I mean? She just sucks. Oh, yeah. I would, especially in this day and age, I'd be like, oh, is it a sanitizer of some sort of right?

I'll get in here. Bye, bye, Jackie. And picturing, like, what we do in the shadows when they projectile vomit, but the opposite, where she's just like, oh, come closer. Then she just, like, rapidly sucks you into her mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a Mortal Kombat character doing a fatality.

All right, I can see again. Oh, my God, welcome back. Take our decisions. Thank you. That's Ersum, sirs. And that's it. For this ursum-surs episode of page 7 that you guys joined us for today, I just want to say that I hope you guys can feel my arms around you because I'm poking you through your ears. I'm making people upset today.

It's upsetting. All of it. I'm all pooched up. I know where to fucking go, bra. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you should really, I mean, if you want to, check out our Patreon. because, man, we're rounding to a close,

and I believe that I talked about it on our big episode, but I will be watching the first Twilight movie with all of you guys. I will let you know when we get closer. I believe it will be the first week of November. Am I invited? I will watch it. Yeah, you could come too?

I've actually low-key been dying to do this with you, so I hope I'm around because I would love to join it. Yes, we will, I guess I haven't talked to you about it. Maybe, you know what? Maybe is it because I sit, in this room and talk to myself all day. And we talked for an stupid amount of hours about just everything in the world

so you would just, I'm fucking assume you've talked to me about it, absolutely. You know? But we, then, you know what? Holden and I will be doing this. We're gonna have so much fun. He just committed, you heard him on air. I'm already regretting to something.

I am such an introvert. I hate committing to shit. Yes, he's committed. And that's all I have to say about that. Hey, check us out. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Jackie is doing so much great work on there. We also do a weekly check-in episode where we just talk about the TV movies we've been watching called Talking TV. $5 a month and it is like a ridiculous deal honestly in terms of just pure raw content that is actually produced so it's not raw.

Also check us out on Twitch, twitch.tv.tv slash Holdenaders Ho. Every Friday night I do a stream with Jackie. It's a bit of a party. Molly pops in. We had Henry pop in the other week. It's always a fucking black. So Ed, Ed joined us the other week. So either way, join us on that. And I think that's it, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And my name is Molly Neffle. I'm MJK. LK. LK. on Insta, and I just started watching Schitt's Creek.

So I want my medal. I'm loving it already. Everyone says season one is bad, but I love it. I'm doing it. Do you immediately love it? I love it already, but it's going to take me 10 years to get through it. But come on this journey with me. It's a great.

It's great. It'll be over before you know it, and then you'll be so sad. I'm internally sad that it's done. Enjoy it. All right. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye.

Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.