Page 7 - Ep. 380: Well at the Bang

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

We talk about Hallmark Christmas movies, Elliot Page and in celebrity conspiracy corner: Is Gwyneth Paltrow Becky with the good hair?!?!?!?Want even more hot goss? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Don't you dare ruin my Christmas intro because you know what I'm going to sing. It has not graced my lips since the beginning of this year. I'm not going to sing the entire song, but I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please. Mama, please. It's Christmas Eve, and these shoes are just her size. Would you hug? Daddy says there's not much time. It's running out.

She's been sick for quite a while. So long. These shoes will make a smile. I want her to look beautiful with Mama meets Jesus tonight. And I'm very, very upset. You are not Jesus Christ. I will say, Henry called me earlier and said, oh, you're going to sing Christmas shoes today. Do you realize now it's a COVID song?

And that made me very upset. He's like, oh, mommy's got to wear her sexy shoes when she's in the hospital with COVID. And he shit all over my favorite horrible Christmas song. But now that's all I can think of. And I just put it into your brains. And now that's what you're going to think of as well. That feeling when your boss calls you and asks if you're going to sing Christmas shoes at work, you know. You're just begging for it.

Your boss brother, by the way. Bulls brother, boss brother, what do you say? It's like the brown bear, brown bear. But all of it is just, I say you're fired every day. But he can't fire me. How many times do you're like, mom's mad at you? And he's just like, you're fired. If he tried to fire me, Linda would.

call him so quickly and be like, Henry Thomas, you can't fire your sister. You gotta keep having a job. Because he knows if he fires me, I'm just gonna move in with him again. And this is the best part. See, this is what you do. You need to get yourself into a terrifying cycle of power with your sibling. You're like, oh, go ahead, boss brother. Really, if you fire me, I have to move in. And he doesn't want that. I don't want that. Yeah, you got him. Yeah. He might be your boss. but you're the one with all the power. I'm the one with the power. I'm just like Melissa Joan Hart and Dear Christmas.

So I got to throw it out there. Explain to me this, yeah, explain to me the plot of this situation, this horrendous film. I have not had enough time to myself to watch it because while I am making my husband who doesn't like Christmas, watch Christmas themed programming every single night, I am not going to make him watch Hallmark. That's my private special reward to myself. So I need you to inject it to my veins, though, because I really want to know why is Hallmark's thing getting stars from the 1990s to be in their things? That's the only thing they do.

You know, I never like to do it, Molly, but I do have to correct you. It's a lifetime Christmas movie. And it is a which, although interchangeable, I need to throw a thank you out there to Jim. Jim hit us up at page 7 podcast at gmail.com told me to watch Dear Christmas, and I'm going to say this right now, y'all. Email me which ones to watch and I will watch them. Goth Daddy is gone and I am just desperately nervous about him being gone in the middle of a pandemic. And so I am filling my life with watching these horrible movies so that I can be alone and stoned in a robe just being like,

What are you talking about at the screen? But, you know, you can't just watch. I'm definitely going to watch Felice Navidad, which is directed by Melissa Joan Hart. That is on Lifetime as well. But, dear Christmas, I posted about it on Instagram, I just, I was, I was bold over. I'm so sad I watched it by myself.

If you have friends that love watching Lifetime movies, I highly encourage you watch it together. Melissa Joan Hart plays, America's number one podcaster. And the movie was written by people, I'm going to go ahead and guess, who have never heard a podcast in their life. They don't know what podcasting is. The way that she does her podcasting is not how we do it.

And I'm not saying that as if like, oh, we're the B-L-E-L-N doll in podcasting. I'll throw it out there. We've been podcasting for over 10 years. That's not podcasting. And guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, she has a podcast about love, but she's never fallen in love before. It has every single trope you could ever imagine in a lifetime movie. It's absolutely perfect. Does she fall in love with the handyman in town who drives a tow truck, who is a volunteer firefighter who makes...

Okay, sorry, this is a lot. This is a lot. I was just going to say, I want an example of how bad the podcast is, but go on. Yeah, I know. I want to know more about the because like it's true lifetime. It's like they just don't know how anything works. It's amazing. They have somehow found writers that are like just like so removed from the contemporary reality in which we live. That's one of the joys about it. It is, it's so perfect. I can't even breathe. She's like a Delilah. But I was obsessed with Delilah growing up. And if you were obsessed with Delilah, you know I've talked about on this show. Delilah is. And an absentee parent in real life, even though she talks about how much she loves her. I'm sorry, this might be, this might be heresy that I'm saying right now. I'm saying this as I love Delilah, but all of her children were taken from her. So in this movie, she's talking about love.

She wrote a book about love, never's been, never been in love before. But they make a podcast as if it's a live stream except with, it's like she's FDR doing fireside chats. Okay, so it's in real time while her whole family is downstairs listening to the podcast she does on Christmas Eve. Okay? That's the radio.

It's like, it's live radio? It's live radio, yeah, it's live radio, but only you can only get it online because that's a podcast. That's what the podcast is. And she wrote a book, and she falls in love with Jason Priestley. And Jason Priestley's name is Chris Massey,

guys. His name is Chris. Massey. Everyone calls him Mr. Christmas. Hallmark and Lifetime are like the Riverdale of getting stars from the 90s to be in their things, except it's not hot and awesome stars for the 90s. I mean, whatever. Melissa Joan Hart and Jason Priestley are fine, but it just has a whole budget aura to it. Go on. So weird. Absolutely. And like she knew him from eighth grade and she's going through all this stuff from being back home. Melissa Joan Hart looks completely unrecognizable. I don't. I don't know.

I, I, girl, you are beautiful. You don't need it. You don't need to do this to your face. And she falls in love with Mr. Christmas and her sister is pregnant the entire time, but the belly's always moving in different, um, lumpy ways. And my favorite part was how I know that she, that they have never listened to a podcast or know what a podcast is. She comes down downstairs right after doing the podcast.

And she goes, Penny just called, who is her manager, we, my podcast, just went viral. And everyone shears. Everybody cheers. The movie is two hours long. Why is it two hours long? I loved it. It is everything I needed a lifetime movie.

I downloaded an app just so I could watch it. It's amazing. I still have that. app I downloaded from last year and I still can't figure out how to watch it. I got a, I'm baffled. I got, I got cable and I can't figure out how to get all these lifetime movies directly into my system. Jackie, I've got some good news for you.

The writing team is, seems to be a married couple, Keith and Juliet jiglio, Giglio. And they have also. Oh my God, Gileo? I'm going to say, Gilee. I think, yeah, yeah. In the Gilee family? So, so they have also written another. Made for TV Christmas movie starring Melissa Joan Hart called a very nutty Christmas that came out in 2018.

So definitely might want to watch that. She plays a workaholic baker, has given up on Christmas, especially this year when her boyfriend dumpster. She's got to fill an order of 15,000 cookies before Christmas. That's too many cookies. And the other movie that they wrote, well, they've written, they've only written made for TV romance movies. So the other one I really want to watch, they wrote a movie apparently called Pizza My I. heart. It is another modern spin-off of Romeo and Juliet, this time about two families who each

run a rivalry, pizza restaurants, and New Jersey. Wow. Okay, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, that was 2005. And years ago, we did read the computer-generated script of a hallmark, they fed a robot, a bunch of hallmark movies, and I think still, my favorite line from the single mother, rude behavior this is a family business

I sell families I am widow my husband is now bones and that is I am surprised that that line is not in any hallmark movies because it's the most hallmark Oh my God

they also in 2019 so that was 2018 Melissa Joan Hart Christmas reservations came out in 2019 written by Keith and Juliet Gile and stars Melissa Joan Hart

it's Christmas at the tree line Resort is called Christmas Reservations where Holly is the event coordinator at her family lodge. She plans every event and keeps all the guests happy. But when her college sweetheart shows up, something, something's now widowed with two children, checks in. Holly discovers she has her own reservations about life and love. Oh, my God, I bet she does. It is hard to weed out the good, because you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm looking for the ones that are so horrible that they are the best.

So it's, because I've looked up like best lifetime Christmas movies. I don't want the best lifetime Christmas movie. I want the worst best lifetime Christmas movie. I tell you, God damn what, I'm definitely going to watch the Kelly Rowland one that comes out this week called Mary Liddell Christmas, where she comes out with her own song for it. And I believe it's directed by her, if I remember correctly. So you got to watch these things. It's tough because, yeah, you got to me, my top priority are the ones with the budget stars.

Lori Loughlin, Candice Cameron Beret. Like those, that's the, Melissa Joan Hart, that's the shit I want. And it is, so I have regular cable and lifetime holiday movies during the month of December play for 24 hours a day. So you can always watch a lifetime movie, Christmas movie during the season. But, and then on a hallmark, you, on demand, there's, there's only like these, like there's only like 10 and it's very difficult it's very

difficult like I want the ones with the convicted felons in them I'm speaking about Lori Laughlin I want Lori Laughlin She's in prison right now by the way She checked herself in like last Friday Apparently she's making friends She's making friends I saw an article

I saw she's making friends But Molly how do you feel about the Christmas setup Now the Christmas setup I think that we've already talked about this I think it comes out At the end of this week The Christmas setup is with Fran Dresi and it is an LGBTQ plus holiday romance where we finally, you know what?

It is, it might be too little too late, but they are trying. I will at least give them the fact that I saw two different movies with actually, it seems, disabled people in them and not just people playing disabled people. I was like, okay, you're trying. It's very late, but they're trying. Yeah, I kept talking about Happiest Season, which is another thing I'm very excited to talk about, but I kept talking about Happiest Season. And my brother kept being like, are you talking about how Hallmark made its first gay movie?

And I was like, I think Happiest Season is just a regular gay movie and not a Hallmark gay movie. But that's 2020 for you. You got two different gay Christmas movies coming out. And you have three different, very different reactions to Happiest Season. We have to talk about Happyest Season. I will say, let me give the caveat, though, that I agree with you, Jackie. So I, of course, and of course, leave it to the Swifty to fucking be the defender of this movie, right? I get it.

Holdens got bad takes, right? I understand. I understand. I enjoyed watching it. Like, but I have a pathology where I enjoy, which I think we all share, that I enjoy watching poorly made, you know, media. I enjoy. Yeah. I very much enjoy watching.

I enjoy watching bad movies. Like, so I had a lot of fun also. Like Holden, I had a lot of fun. I also think that maybe I was, all right, y'all listen to me a couple weeks ago. I saw the trailer. I lost my mind for it. I was so excited. I thought this was going to be everything to me.

I love Clay DeValle. I love Kristen Stewart. I love Dan Levy. I love Mary Steembers. Like, don't even get fucking get me started. And I think that maybe, you know, when you watch a movie that you're so excited about, that you have such high expectations for. And then it lets you down so you get so upset.

And it has nothing to do with the actual plot or the performances in the movie. It is the character of Harper that I hated. She sucks. And the thing is that you would think it's like, oh, but it's like every other stereotypical holiday movie where like, oh, it is, you know, it is problematic that they get, you know, I'm not, I'm not even, I'm sorry. It is problematic at times their relationships. I don't want to give anything away. But what I need to say is it has nothing to do with the fact that Harper does not come out to her parents.

That is what the movie's about is that she's bringing home her girlfriend. It's nothing to do with the fact that she didn't come out. It is the fact. I'm going to start with, A, the fact that she doesn't tell her partner until they are on the way there. Yes. That is horrible. It's lies. She's just actively lying to her partner from the beginning of the, of the interaction, like.

Communication and also the fact that Harper lied to her partner about coming out to her family. I was just, because that was the thing is that it had nothing to do again with like, I'm so, like, I want more representation. I want all of these things. I love all of these people. I was so upset. The fact that she lied about coming out to her partner, the fact that you would let her get, the fact that this is not even that big of a. Spoiler. But the fact that you have, you had a,

a heterosexual relationship in high school where you did the same thing to somebody else. And then you have the audacity to spend all night long out with an X and then be in the morning being like, what's the fucking problem? What's the problem with it? I don't give a fuck who you fuck. I don't care at, in the slightest. I fuck.

anything with a pulse The thing. We've got, we've covered. You don't do that to your partner. You don't do that to anyone. And I was so angry the entire time. And then now I'm watching all of these holiday movies

with that lens of like, okay, well, how problematic is this? Of course, there's a lot of rom-coms that have the problematic tropes that I don't appreciate. But it had nothing to do with how difficult it is to be yourself around

your parents, that part of it. Dan Levy's every Dan Levy part and every Dan Levy monologue, I cry. It's amazing. Yes. The whole ending, the spirit of the ending, and that's what I would say. I think I said this off podcast, so I'll just repeat it again here. It's just that I think it actually surprisingly got me in the feels. Like I got a little

teary-eyed at the end. And I think it's just because it tapped into a thing with me that I feel really deeply about, which is to say, like, that I feel like, you know, there's a lot of all that talk on the internet of the concept of feeling seen and how important that is. And, you know, I feel like you want to feel seen by your friends. You want to feel seen by just social media in general and all these different use cases.

But the one place where it's the most hard to feel seen. And the one place you want to feel seen the most is by your parents, you know, who raised you. And I feel like for me, I've never felt understood fully by my parents. I love my parents, by the way. And we have a great relationship. But this is kind of more of like a therapy thing. but it's like, you know, I feel like that tapped into that, and I feel like it connected to,

even though I'll never fully understand what it's like to have to come out, and that's just what it is. But it connected me a little bit to understanding that a little bit more because I think everybody has something inside of them that they conceal, that they feel like around parents or around even your friends or whoever it is that you feel like weird about and you have to hide away and how hard that can be and how emotionally gutting that can be

because that's who the fuck you are. And I feel like they kind of got there for me with it. But yeah, I feel like I just fully blocked out the part where the main character, fuck it. Well, I guess the main character is really Kristen Stewart. It's her story. But her love interest just sucks. It's just a shitty person to be with.

It sucks. It's almost a perfect, like, for the first, like, mainstream, you know, lesbian romantic comedy because it just, takes all of the same toxic tropes from heterosexual romantic comedies, which is that like if it doesn't matter, someone treats you like absolute shit, you should stay with them. And it's romantic for someone to treat you like shit. And it's romantic for someone to like neg you. And it's romantic for to have to like constantly chase someone's approval and to constantly

be rejected. And then when it's way too fucking late, way too late. And they finally learn a single damn lesson. And then you're like, oh my God, yeah. Like, like, and so it's just like a, it just takes, which is why I was able to enjoy it because I was like, oh, this is just like bad, like a regular. I mean, you know, it's just like this is a story of a toxic relationship that is presented as a loving relationship. And it's not. It's a toxic and like emotionally abusive relationship.

I feel like what it is is weird like stuff that all centers around A, character motivation stuff that they were just trying to sneak in. like, oh, she just wouldn't have gone to the family get together if she had told her before they were on their way there. So I've got to write this scene where she's already trapped in this situation. But I feel like she could have figured out work around. And the other thing is I probably still would have gone, though. Like this is the thing. I had a very intense conversation with my roommate who was also queer.

And we talked about this where she's like, I've been in this situation before. You know, I have been in this. And we talked about it. And it was an open communication where I went home as her friend. And it was hard, and we talked about it the entire time. Right, and that part is an opportunity to explore a dynamic that I think, right, a lot of queer couples have experience, especially maybe queer couples who were queer before we were, we are in the slightly, slightly, slightly better time now that when it was like, yeah, it's 1997 and my best friend from college is here, right? So that element of it is like a could be a fun thing to explore. it's just that this is a terrible person to be in a relationship with.

And then the other part of it is I feel like the true ending of that story is yes, that Kristen Stewart says, well, it's too late for me. Are you about to spoil? Are you about to spoil? Oh, no, just that she, well, I won't say what happened at the end, but it's definitely a very holiday movie ending. It's a very holiday movie ending, whereas the real ending I think is literally just like, glad you learned your lesson, good luck in the future. I'm gone.

And I'll just say they didn't do that. I don't know if that spoils things. But who gives, I don't know, you're worried about spoilers? It's not Star Wars. I know, but at the same time, in my head, as I watch it, I was like, okay, all right, right now I'm about to spoil it. So shut it off, shut this off, or fast forward if you have not watched it or you care. Because we have to spoil it because of the, yeah, it's important. If she had gotten together with Aubrey Plaza or at least hooked up with her or at least understood, like if there was a lot.

Like if there was an end with that, I would have been completely understandable. The fact that she stays with her. Yes. And that was why it didn't, to me, it didn't feel like a 2002 queer movie. Because in a 2002 queer movie, they would have just been like, here's two queer people who are completely, they've just been kind of like dropped in. They are acting in every way exactly like straight people. We're not going to, I mean, that's, in having another gay character in the movie,

felt a little bit like, yeah. And Dan Levy too. And Dan Levy too, right. But like, right. So having gay people in, like, I feel like just now in 2020, are we having media where there's, like, gay people just in the universe. Like, like, we live in a world where there are more than... I'm happy that we are moving forward.

Right. Right. So that felt to be, like, a little bit more, like, relevant, like, oh, it's not just, like, we're doing a gay, you know, movie and there's two gay characters only. Like, yeah, there's a best friend who's. also gay. There's Albi Plaza and Axe who's also gay. Like, so that was, was, I liked that. But right, to then present a path for like healthy communication that is then never developed. And then that she goes back to the person who treats

her like, shit is, and it's, it's right, it's not because she's closeted. It's not because she's afraid to come out to her parents. It's because she is like an emotionally abusive person who makes her partner feel like shit and lies to her, like repeatedly. She's a narcissist. Yes, and it's a narcissist. It does not take any of the fault for putting her partner in that situation. Man, to the bitter end, by the way, too. Like, really just never let up on the lie until it was just like beyond impossible to

continue the lie, which is like, wow, like, really? I guess in you, after it all went down, you figured it out, I guess. It's not that the movie, but it's not that the movie is bad, because again, especially as a holiday movie, like great, great performances, I like the other characters. But sorry, I won't beat a dead horse here. I just, I'm glad that we talked about it. I'm glad we talked it out. It's no pizza my heart, you know, but I think we'll live.

Yeah, I guess. But we do have other things to celebrate right now, which is actually. actually really, really fucking nice to be able to celebrate something right now. Dude, I'm so excited about this. Because Elliot Page has come out as transgender and I have always loved Elliot Page.

I think that this is, I'm very, very proud of him for doing this. Like, it means so much to the trans community. It means so much for our generation because he is 33 years old. This is

our generation. We grew up with Elliot Page. It makes me very excited that we can finally celebrate the fact that he can be who he wants to be. I have like been in such an emotional like journey around this. And yeah, I realize the same thing too, Jackie. Today I was like, when I was thinking about this, I was like, oh yeah, like, Juno came. I don't remember exactly what year, but like, like, and then I realized like, oh yeah, Elliot Page and I are like the same exact age. Yeah. Because like, and like he was always one of the only actors like I ever identified with.

Especially him in Umbrella Academy, which I think that he was the only part of Umbrella Academy that I enjoyed. And X-Men, he's been around for such a long time. I'm sorry, Holden. I know that was a slight against you and how much you love Umbrella Academy. I like Imbrella Academy. I don't like love Umbrella Academy. I enjoyed it. Also, if you want to explore the entire career of Elliot Page, he was in trailer park boys,

which is just a total gem that I always forget. But yeah, so the actor from Juno and Umbrella Academy put this statement out saying, I'm actually Elliot and my pronouns are he and they. And I am also non-binary. I am non-binary, I should say. And I couldn't stop thinking about like seeing this statement and thinking like, you know, I'm sure I've talked about this on the show before. But when I was a kid, Alan DeGeneres was on the cover of Time Magazine in 1997. I think I was in fifth grade, fifth or sixth grade.

And she was the only celebrity I ever seen who had short hair. And the Time magazine cover, it's her like, I'm gay. And I saw it and I was just just relentlessly straight. I always have just, to everyone's confusion, really, really, really liked boys despite the way that I looked, which is I always had short hair and dressed like a boy. And when I saw Ellen DeGeneres come out, I was like, well, I guess I must be gay because that's the only person I've ever even remotely been able to see myself in. Like, that's literally the only celebrity who even closely, who even like I could even get even close to. imagining myself as, and I was, you know, young, so I was like, maybe I'm, and I remember asking my dad, like, is everyone was short, is every woman was short hair gay? And he was like, well, no, like, he, like, he, like, handled it, like, you know, delicately. Like, and I just, when I saw this, uh, statement, I was just like, man, if I was a kid and I had seen, uh, you know, had seen Elliot Page, like, come out. like it would have been completely life-changing.

Like it would have just been like actually imagining knowing that there was something else, like knowing that there is something more, knowing that like it is valid to be, you know, who you are to like, I mean, I was like, yeah, I was so emotional all day. Like it is so important. Like there's a lot of talk about representation. Representation isn't everything, but representation matters because, like people who are kids like I was like what I did was just be like I guess I have to be normal I'm going to pretend that I don't want to be a boy for you know 25 years and now I'm

Elliot Page's age and working through it but like yeah like kids now are going to see him and be like oh yeah like that person is like cool famous talented hot uh like they exist they are real I can be real too. Like, and that is just going to mean like so much to so many people like kids, but also like people. Yes, our generation. Older. Right, right.

Like to just to know that like, yeah, you are you are valid. There are other people like you. There are so many possibilities for how you can be. And like that just is so. And it's like a cliche to say that it's brave. but it just takes, it's like a lot of shit to do that in the public eye. And it's like really fucking awesome. Another thing I love that he did was in the whole piece of spiel of coming out,

it wasn't just look at me in my moment. It was also, hey, let's raise awareness to the fact that people are fucking dying. And this is not just about me coming out with this. This is about us as a community needing to figure this shit out. And I think that that's super cool. So it was a selfless thing as well. Well, I'm standing with the trans community. Yeah.

And that was something that it seems like he said, I could continue on lying through omission, but I want to be a part of the community that I am a part of. And you're right, Holden. He didn't say it in a way of trying to just drum up attention for themselves. It was something that it was a stance for people,

to work for the community, and that is what's so fucking awesome, because I hate that it's still a difficult thing to do. Yeah. I hate that it is still a fight. I just... Another super cool thing I would have thrown out there is just that Netflix is now, has already, I believe, changed all of the ending credits for Umbrella Academy. I'm thinking, I'm guessing other stuff that he's in, and that, of course, people were weirdly worried, like, what's going to happen with Umbrella Academy? He was like, they're going to just keep being the role. What the fuck?

And the thing, right, I feel like the thing about this that would be so hard to come out as a famous person. And like, right, something that I've been thinking about for myself and trying to navigate is that, like, saying, like, yeah, I, like, you know, it took me a long time to actually say, like, yeah, I'm non-binary, even though it's obviously been true my whole life. And like when I told my brother, he was like, yeah, I'm the least surprised person in the world about this. Like, it was the same with me where I was like, okay, not that I didn't think that it was a big moment for you. And I appreciate you sharing with me. But I was also just like, okay, cool. Right. Well, I mean, you are you and I love you no matter what.

Right. And it wasn't just like, yeah, like we don't care. But it was also like, yeah, like, of course, because we know you. Like, and so that, so it's like the thing about that in my experience, and I don't want to speak for anybody else. But right, for my experience, the thing that's weird about coming out is like, it, It's kind of like, it's, it's as, I think that people, it's as if you're saying a change, but you're not actually saying a change. You're really just saying something that's always been true, right?

And so I think that people conceptualize trans people coming out as like, oh, this person just changed. This person is now Elliott Page, right? This person now, you know, uses he pronouns. Like, and like that is a change, but like this person has always been this person, right? And I feel like that is a hard thing. Like, like nothing, like saying that I'm non-binary doesn't actually retroactively or currently change anything about me. It's more just trying to like confirm and validate what's always been the case.

And so I feel like that is one of the hard things about being a celebrity and coming out because then, right, people are like, well, we have this memory of you and Juno. Or we have this memory. Like, how do I cope with the fact that I know you as using? And they make it about themselves. Right, right. Where it's like, it has nothing to fucking do with you. Right.

It has to do with him and how he would like to present himself. There's nothing to do with you. Right. And who he is and who he has always been, right? And I think that that's like the thing, the thing that, yeah, that is hard to communicate is like, this is not actually like a reveal like of something new. This is like trying to clarify something. Like this is like, no, the person who you have always.

I've always known, I've always been this person, right? Like, it's just that this is like articulating it more specifically or more clearly. And that's not to like, to dismiss the act of coming out, but it's just that coming out, yeah, it's not, it's not, it's, for me, it's like, well, this isn't actually new information. It's just like a, it's just a clarification, like, that retroactively will hopefully shed some light on who you've always known me to be. I'm the exact same person I always was non-binary. It's just that I didn't have the words to say it before. Right. Or I wasn't ready to say it or whatever.

And it's so funny because speaking, this in a way is a general transition period for society. And hopefully that window you speak of of 25 years for you personally, the idea is that we won't have those giant gaps of hiding yourself. And so it will be way easier for us to understand, to, to, to, to, to, make that adjustment because, you know what I mean? Like, I won't be having called you by this female pronoun for, for way longer than I ever should have, you know, in the first place. Because society made you feel like you couldn't just be that, you know? And so it's interesting.

Like, we're in a weird pocket. And I think people are just like, uh, what? And I even react like that at first. And still, and every now and it's still get, I'm like, ah, it's just so hard to deprogram that. You know what I mean? Like as a guy in his late 30s, it's hard to deprogram that. But I think the younger generations will hopefully, just every generation will just become less and less of a bizarre, like a difficult concept.

Right. Yeah. I think that's, and I think that sometimes right, people are afraid to make mistakes or afraid of maybe doing something wrong or offending somebody. And so people get real twitchy and nervous about it. And that's, it's like, you know, there was a. really good thread that I retweeted if you follow me on Twitter, you can go find it or I can re-boost it. But it was just like, you know, a kind of trans 101. And it was like, you know,

this is some kind of like language best practices. And it was like, you know, if you misgender someone, you know, just correct yourself. Like, you don't have to make a big deal out of it. In fact, please don't make it to big deal out of it. You can just, you know, correct yourself, move on, you know, try not to dead name people. You know, you don't have to say, identifies as male. You can say, is, is, you know, identifies as a man, you can say is a man or, you know, like, um, you don't have to say identifies as trans. You can say is trans. Like like, like, or what, like, and these are all things that people have to learn because,

you know, I learned these things by people teaching me who were patient enough to be like, okay, instead of saying this, you can say this. So it's like, I think that, you know, kind of cultivating like, uh, in people having these conversations to like, know, like, yeah, it's okay. Like, it's okay. As long as you're trying to like, yeah, be. respectful and to like see people as they want to be seen. Yeah, like this is a learning process and a lot of people are talking about this stuff for the first time and they don't know how to and like that's okay. Like and it's like I love that he said in a statement like you're not being canceled. Like people are so like, ah, you're attacking me by expecting me to use these pronouns. Like and it's like no, no, no, you'll be okay. Like if this is uncomfortable for you, that's okay. Like you will you have the capacity to learn and get through it. And let's talk about it. Right. Remember when it was uncomfortable to be. beginning of the quarantine of like learning about like, oh, we can't do these things anymore.

Oh, okay, I wear a mask when I leave that. It was something we had to get used to. But the best part about being human is that we are adaptable, is that we can learn, is that we can grow. Is that crazy? Lesbians can have problematic toxic romantic comedies too. Oh, my God, but why do we have to put them into a movie in 2020? I liked it. I like that she sucked.

Kristen Stewart looked great though. Kristen Stewart hot as the day is long. She is also the one actress that I feel like isn't actually a good actress, but for some reason I just am cool with that. I don't get it. It's right, but she charms me in this weird way that I enjoy. She's kind of boring, right?

Like in her like present. She's like flat. I think she warmed up as the movie went on, but in the very beginning I was like, wow, she really just sounds like she's doing like line readings, like in this very flat way. I loved her in Adventureland. I actually really liked her a lot.

With both of you. She's perfect in Twilight. Oh, right. You don't even know if she was good at that movie. We screamed drunkenly over it for an hour to half. I have watched it again. Maybe she's not boring. Maybe she's bored.

Like maybe she is just totally underwhelmed with the content with which she has been given. It is very possible. It works. I don't know why. I love it. I did give her a totally weird pass on that. I couldn't agree more.

It really does. And in the very opposite way, there's Candice Cameron Bray. And there couldn't be any more of a different person we can talk about than Candice, Cameron, Peret. And yeah, we're talking about DJ from Full House. Yes, that's what I'm referring to her as, the queen of Hallmark and Lifetime Movies.

and she, I just needed to bring this up because she's being, I don't like her. I don't like her and I watch her in most of the horrible Christmas movies that she is a part of. She is, and not that I do not dislike her just because she is Christian. I do have to say that it is, it is the way in which she decides to view. Christian ideals that I do not appreciate. And she, but something I do appreciate about her is that she put out a picture of her and her husband last week. And in one of the pictures, her husband is grabbing her breast. And she is trying to now open up a conversation after all of these years about how Christians have sex with their husbands.

only with their husbands as well. And she's trying to make it a little bit more acceptable to understand that Christians have sex. I got to be honest. This was like, so it's not just that she's Christian, right? Christian obviously contains multitude. She's like a certain type of Christian, right? Like she's like a evangelical, I think.

like she's like very, very intensely Christian in a kind of, you know, I know that Kirk Cameron has the whole, you know, could anyone but God have made this perfect banana thing. And so I don't want to project her brother boss's religious views onto her. But I associate her with like a type of Christianity that isn't just like, yeah, I like the teachings of Jesus. But that is like, you know, quite. She's, no, she's homophobic. She's anti-LGBQ. Like it's like, no, it is that. Right, it's that. Part of it. That really does rub me the wrong way. Yeah, right. It's that, which has always made me extremely skeptical of her, although I have seen four of the seasons of Fuller House, as I've just closed on the show before. But I was reading this article and I was like, yeah, Jackie's right. This is a good for.

Like, she's like, you know, Christians, we save ourselves for marriage and then we should celebrate sex within marriage. We shouldn't act like we only have had sex two times because we have two kids or whatever. And I was surprised because I just perhaps unfairly assumed that she was because she is that type of the human Christian that they like can't have sex for fun or what I made some assumptions. And I perhaps made an ass because she might have many abhorrent views. But apparently only having sex for procreation isn't one of them. So I will give it a very limited good for her, but... I just, it's the people who are... I just couldn't imagine being that person who would be that offended by a married man,

lightly having his hand over his wife's breast in a Instagram picture. I just, could you imagine going through life like that, like being so fucking offended by everything? Like, how do you even go to the grocery store or like, do anything like watch I mean I guess they they kind of have their own TV channel probably or two

that's uh internet website yeah hallmark and like well oh but the gays are but the gays are taking you know what I'm coming in they're coming in taking their hallmarks away but no no I was thinking some probably weird I don't know what kind of channels they watch

but either way you know just blows my fucking mind to be like I have to write something about this on this woman's page How dare you be at all touched by your husband? By your husband of 24 years. And I do appreciate she is now becoming more open with the fact that she had to adjust her brain because in her mind she saw that she was raised in a way that she assumed that having sex

and enjoying sex was a sin and was bad unless you were having. And of course, that is not all Christian beliefs. That is just, that was how she was raised specifically. And that is something that she has had to learn how to undo as she has gotten older. And I appreciate the fact that she's opening that conversation. I think that's great. But I feel like when you truly believe you're having forbidden sex, that oh, you get from that. The devil makes my panties drip.

Oh, no devil. Don't touch my nonies on. Devil makes my panty strips. Sorry, bitch. I've also, I've been so curious too because I also follow Jody Sweeten and Andrea Gaw. What's her last name? Kim. Kimmy.

Just say Kimmy. We know it's Kimmy. On Instagram. And they had like what I am so ashamed to say was a very cute, like, at the beginning of quarantine, they had like a really cute like social distance outdoor hang out together. And I was like, this is so sweet. but then now I've been obsessing about whether Candace Cameron Bray, because, again, I'm making a lot of assumptions here. Feel free to push back on them.

But because I know she is this specific type of, you know, conservative Christian, I've been assuming that perhaps she doesn't believe in the pandemic. And I'm like, well, well, Kimmy and Stephanie still believe in masks. But what if she doesn't believe in masks? Like, what if they, and so I've been wondering how their friendship, because they're all very close. I've been wondering how their friendship is playing out with two of the, you know, members of Full House. being people who believe that masks are good and one of them again I'm just assuming because she's quite conservative maybe

you know so I've been spinning out the possibilities for their friendship because it would be complicated to be friends with somebody who has these really really really really really intense Christian beliefs Yes absolutely MJKLC Imagine getting drunk with her though On Instagram slide into the DMs let her know your thoughts Push back on me

Perhaps there are extremely conservative Christians who also are very pro-mask, and I will eat my hat. Eat that hat. We got a great hat on. It looks like a jugged hat, but I know that it's not. It's a car hard hat. Talk about, you know, queer symbolism. It's a good hat. Oh, my God.

What do we do? I'm vamping because I forgot what the intro is. Do you believe in? Believe. Oh, no, no, you guys do it. It's time for a conspiracy. Do you believe in? The fact that Gwinnett Paltrow is Becky with the good hair.

This one comes in. I know this has been talked about before, but we're going to, you know, it deserves to get its place in celebrity conceiv. I hear she's great in bed. This one comes in from Jillian, who says, I've listened to Page 7 since the first episode and love everything you guys do.

I definitely miss the toilet flush because it always applied to me too, but I'm happy Molly is at peace with it now. Jackie is a total inspiration for me. I've now started to name my yearly themes. This year was skincare 2020. It was my version of Franisance. Holden, welcome the team. Thank you so much, Gillian.

Thank you. That's awesome. So, of course, back in 2016, Beyonce released the song, Sorry! As part of her magnum opus, I believe the chorus was, So sorry. Yep, that was it. Holden, I can't believe you listened to it.

Part of her magnanimous Lemonade, of course. I think my personal favorite album of hers. And that, of course, has the lyrics. He only want me when I'm not there. He better call Becky with the good hair. Along with many other lyrics to speak

towards Jay-Z cheating on her. What? Stop. Okay. The theory. The theory, of course, is that Becky is in fact, none other than Gwyneth Paltrow. The evidence is crazy.

Mind-blown. Let's get it. I get it. Well, really, it's just a lot of pre-2016. Beyonce and Gwyneth were total besties. Gwyneth was even babysitting blue ivy. The two were spotted together all over the place, parties, award shows. Really?

She also seemed quite close to Jay-Z as well. Pictures of them together, a lot of cavorting. Real? Of course, also, yeah, there's tons of pictures of them together. But they're so interesting and she's so boring. I know. And also at the same time, Gwyneth was married to Coldplay lead singer, Chris Martin during this time and around the same time that this cheating incident would have taken

place back in like 2015, the two got divorced. Oh, I'm sorry, did I see divorce? Consciously uncoupled. Yes, thank you. Also, also, Beyonce and Gwyneth are never seen together ever again after this general time period that the cheating incident would have taken place. I mean, it's kind of crazy. Also, also, also, I hope this is true. Fans find further evidence in the fact that Cole play performed later that year at the Super Bowl halftime show and Beyonce showed up for a song with Gwyneth's then ex-husband as a way to be like, fuck you bitch. Whoa. The response, of course, Gwyneth gave a statement to people when asked about it via a rep and just said, completely absurd and 100% false. So, what do you all think?

I mean, I'm sure you guys must have talked about this on. I'm sure we did. I think that there was a lot more details of it being the, I believe, one of their hair stylists, I believe. However, who knows? Again, Gwyneth Boucher was very open with how much sex she has and how well she is at the bang. I don't believe it. I don't know if I agree with it. Well, she is at the bang.

Yes, that's what I said. And I don't know if I think that's true. I think you might need to have a little bit more Jue de Veev to be able to be good at it, but who am I to say? I got Jada Veev coming out of every report. You are Jua de Veev, persona fan. And so I, you know what, Holden?

What do you think? I don't agree with it. You don't agree? You don't think it's true. Interesting. I'm going to go ahead and say, yeah, because I just want her to be Becky because Becky, like for what Becky,

represents like that is Gwyneth Paltrow, you know? So I just want it. It's almost too easy, but what is it? Is it Occam's razor right? The simplest solution is usually the solution. So I kind of go back from like, well, that's so, that's like almost too obvious that it would be her. But then at the same time, it's like, well, but a lot of times the most right in your face one is what's so. And I don't have that much.

I have a lot of faith in Beyonce. I don't have that much faith in Jay-Z. and I think that sleeping with Gwyneth Paltrow was a boring choice and I wouldn't put it past him. Yeah, exactly. So Molly believes that Gwittonetra and the baby about the child.

Thank you for extending it. I was praying that you were going to extend it. And now you've extended it all the way to starting the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Jackie! Gotta have that list.

Ridiculous behind the scenes stories from your favorite movies and shows. Did you know, now Molly, you must tell your partner that the uniforms in Star Trek the next generation smelled awful. Uh-oh. Apparently the crew wore spandex uniforms for the first two seasons, and spandex retained smells very. very well, which is a problem when people are wearing spandex are trapped in an enclosed space

together for the better part of a day. Mercifully, they got wool uniforms in season three. And is that any better? As someone that sweats through most of my costumes, I don't know if it is. They should make them out of like under armor material, you know, like that athletic material. I feel like everyone got on board the stinky ship in the sky. I say, oh, you want to see a planet get on the stinky shit. I'm sorry we didn't get to talk about Lindsay Lohan saying stinker because I also died.

What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? I tried to find the app. She was advertising, by the way. Couldn't find anything on it. Like, I was like, what is that?

I'm sorry, though, we didn't get to it, but please look up. Lindsay Lohan, TikTok ad. It is very weird, and she says the word stinker, and you know how I feel about the word stinker. Stank, stanky. I hate it. And she winks. She winks like Lucille Bluth. Like it's a real.

And there's a fart. And at the very end, she talks about a one winking eye. And like the CEO, whatever, of the app she's advertising for, which makes no sense this app. It's like you go into a space with your friends and float around, your heads float around on a different, you know, it's just this dumb. And at the end, she says something about a winking eye. and I think she's talking about a fucking butthole, bro. I'm just going to say, that's definitely like a Bill Hicks butthole reference, isn't it? Yeah.

I just, I can't with it. Oh, just truly, oh, just yucked me out. And what doesn't yucked me out, I guess, is that NCIS's Jetro and Abby stopped filming together because of a dog. I think this only makes me curious because I never watched NCIS, but I definitely have auditioned for this role in every other procedural show that it's like, quirky, like, thicker, I don't know, she has a personality, so maybe get a comedian. So they stopped filming together because of a dog. Jethro's actor Mark Harmon kept bringing his dog to set, but the dog attacked a crew member

who then needed 15 stitches. Harmon somehow didn't think he should leave the dog at home. so Abby's actress, Paulie Perrette, stood up to him and told him to do just that, which led to a feud. And they came to a sort of agreement, and what was the agreement? To never film scenes together again. That's what that was what the agreement was. Not, oh, no, maybe you should stop bringing your dog that bit someone brutally to work. No, we just, I'll just bring the dog when you're not around.

Very weird. Very weird. The writers must have loved that issue. I'm sure they did. Oh, man. I also imagine everyone on set loved it that while filming Scream, Drew Barrymore called 911 for real. The crew forgot to disconnect the phone in the scene where her character calls 911.

So she made calls in which she screamed and hung up over and over, which made the police call back in the middle of shooting a take. and ask what's going on and why do they keep getting calls? I think that's what actually scares me is the fact that the police called back. Let's say she's pulling the phone off the hook as she's being attacked, right, as she's doing this. And you just call back, you don't send anybody? You don't send anyone to check? That is a fun one.

I like that one. Terrifying. This is another one, which of course, we know Dustin Diamond is truly insane. but did you know that Dustin Diamond terrorized the Save by the Bell cast with dumb pranks? So Screech did things like sneak backstage to pee in an extras bad. This isn't dumb pranks. This is like really bad, like assault. No, this is traumatic horrible things to do to people.

Anti-social behavior. And he would make up rumors about people and like cast members on the show getting into drunken threesomes. And he described location shoots as all you can bang buffets and subsidized trips to Assalvania. All right, Jackie. You're not allowed to enjoy that, please. We're adults. Substantized trips to Asylvania. That is, it's such a, what an intricate thing to describe.

She's like the original rights activist, honestly. Like he's, who, that's rough, but that is a hilarious thing to say. I'm sorry. It is, it is kind of fun. But see, now, this is more the prank that I'm more interested in, is that Arnold Schwarzenegger pranked Jesse Ventura on the Predator shoot. Dude, Predator is such a fucking good movie. So apparently in the wardrobe department, Ventura noticed that the tape for Arnold's arms was one inch shorter than his. Not long after, Ventura told Arnold they should measure their arms.

So Arnold said, sure, and suggested they bet a bottle of champagne. They found out that Arnold's arms were three inches bigger. So Ventura was out a bottle of champagne. Apparently Arnold had set up fake tape knowing Ventura would react the way that he did. So his arms were a lot bigger. It was all just a weird prank to make Jesse Ventura feel better. So we did an episode on Predator for Wizard and the Bruiser and another little... Oh, really?

little fun fact is that they were like Arnold and the gang, they would just, after shooting like these long shoots, like carrying heavy equipment through stuff, they would go and like heavy lift weights or they would do it like before the shoot day or something like that and it was insane and they would like all be so intense

about outlifting each other that one of the actors would literally like have to sneak into the gym at a later time to lift in peace because Arnold would just be like more weights! More weights! More weights! And they're like, ah! And then like go shoot these like

really intense, like, action scenes and stuff. It just sounded insane. Because everybody was, like, ripped. You know what I mean? Of course, yeah. So that's why I think it is so funny. Like, I would never want anyone to shame another person for how they are built or how much they can lift.

But there is something that makes me smile of just a bunch of ripped. Huge guys. I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. You want to see? That's what it was like, literally what it was like on that set. That just kind of makes me smile. I'm going to round out this list.

I knew this already. I knew this already. But that is only because I really enjoyed the show community that Chevy Chase and Dan Harmon bickered like children while making community. I have definitely heard a lot about this. I believe it's season four when Chevy Chase was like, fuck you, if Dan Harmon's involved.

Or I think Dan Harmon quit for just a season then comes out. It was just ridiculous. So Chase was infamously terrible to work with, which led Dan Harmon to make a speech amounting to, screw you, Chevy, to Chase's family at a rap party. Chase then left an extremely profaned voicemail for Harmon, which you can find on the internet, which Harmon played back to his audience for the Harmon Down podcast.

So if you listen to Harmon Down, he played, it's just Chevy Chase is just an asshole. But they both are very good at what they do. So it's another one of those kind of things where it's like, I don't want anyone to be an asses. to each other, but it's kind of funny when it's just these two very talented men that are just like, well, I hate you. It's just so childish.

It's so childish. That it kind of makes me smile. That's my list, though. Hey, thank you for the list. Thank you for my sight going away. Why would I thank someone for that? Hold on. Why are you thanking me?

Oh, my God. Right now. I don't know. I think I'm going blind. It's named items. Oh, we can't see him. Oh my God. This one, I'm like kind of love this selection.

Very personal selection, especially the first two. It applies greatly to the two of you in so many ways. Let's figure it out. Find item number one. Things are messy right now between these two co-stars from an almost network show, and I'm not talking about the former tween star and his ex who are also on that show. Although that is beyond messy at this point And is at the hate level

No, I'm talking about two other co-stars who dated And the actor is accusing the actress Of using the actor and cheating on him With multiple guys she thought were higher on the latter Now, I think I want to highlight again That it's a different co-star couple Than another very famously a co-star couple Tween Star and his ex

Couple that we talk about all the time Cole Spruce and Lily Ryan. Those are the two that apparently are at the hate level now. Who would the other couple be that? Are you talking about, oh my God. Are you talking about Veronica and. Camila Mendez? Is that her name?

What was that? Camilla Mendez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then and also, and Reggie. Charles Melton. Yeah, Mendez and Melton after being together for a year since last August, have decided to take a break from each other in order to put a focus on work,

allegedly. He has a new movie on the way called Swing, by the way, in case you were interested. Jackie's interested. Swinging it into your hearts this summer with Swing. Or some dumb bullshit like that. I'm sure that's what the tagline is. You want to bang Reggie, don't you, Jackie? Yeah. I mean, I want to have sex with all of them, really. But the problem is that it looks like Charles Melton is, maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, is the asshole in all of this. Would you cheat on Reggie to climb the ladder? Yeah. Yes, I would. I would definitely cheat on Reggie because let's throw it out there.

Great to look at it. I love that. But I've seen part of the sun is also a star, and there's a reason why I only watched part of the Sun is also a star, because he stars in The Sun is also a star. And it is, it's not a good. movie. It's really not a good movie. Well, swing into

the spring with swing is an upcoming American drama film. And I can't even find a log line on it. So, wow, we're just going to stick with that. All right, here we go, here's the next one. It was probably going to be a train wreck.

Probably. I think we all knew it when the A list, mostly movie actress, was cast for the role. If the audio I heard of her trying to do the accent is any indication of where things are headed, it will be worse than a train wreck. There is time for her to still get it right, but I don't think she has it in her,

especially when comparing it to someone else who is playing the role now. So she is about to play a historical person. She is a person we've talked about the past as not being the best actress. She's, uh, and another person is currently playing her very famously now on a TV show,

this character, this historical figure. Aretha Franklin. Fuck you. No. Is it a British monarchy thing? Yes. Is it the crown? Yeah, well, is what someone else is playing that role in the crown right now.

Oh, and this is a different. Is it Margaret Thatcher? Yeah, is it Julian Anderson? No, it's a different character. No, no. It's famous, tragic historical character. Oh, Princess Die. Wait, so what is happening with it?

Wait, isn't, no. We've talked about her being a bad actor before. She is going to apparently be playing Princess Die. Kristen Stewart. Yes. Mrs. Stewart's going to play Princess Di. I forgot. You talked about it today.

Yes. Yes. That was why it was kind of a sneaky clue. It was like kind of hiding it played sight clue. Yes, she's apparently supposed to be playing Princess Diana in a movie called Spencer. The film is called Spencer. I already said that. Sinners around three days in the 1990s that were pivotal for the princess, which is actually

a really interesting bio. I'm going to watch the fuck out of it. She kind of looks like Princess Di. I can see it. She's got those beautiful eyes. Stewart said the accent. is intimidating is all hell because people know that voice and it's so

so distinct in particular. I'm working on it now and already have my dialect coach. The film is to be directed by Pablo Lorraine who did the film Jackie. That's my name. Starring Natalie Portman which I love Jackie. That is my name. I love Jackie. But doesn't Kristen Stewart

oh no I guess that was I guess that is in America. I always wanted to watch the movie Lizzie with Chloe 7E and Kristen Stewart but more so because I wanted to watch them to kiss. And I just assumed they had accents in that, but I guess they don't. I mean, I hope that, I don't know.

I'm just going to say, like, anybody would probably, if anybody's just learning an accent for the first time, like that initial tape is probably going to suck ass. I don't think it's... What are you talking about? Oh, Grogi. Oh, Princess, Dawn. No, I'm going to die.

Either way, though, that was that one. I think that's interesting, though. I'm definitely, Jaggy, I'm definitely also very interested in watching that movie, whatever. Yeah, I'll watch that. We should do like a cat style collective viewing of that, honestly, because that's hitting a lot of page seven goalposts, you know. Right? Please, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, last one. Okay, this one's really weird. It involves, to me, very disparate humans. So I will, like, really try to handhold you through the guessing if it becomes difficult. I'll just say that. But the story is so fucking weird and funny that I just, that's why I pulled it. This A-list actor who likes to call everyone's sport, and also, by the way, is one of those actors. Yeah, I know, right?

By the way, I didn't know this about this actor, but I will also say another clue for this actor that's not in this blind item right here, is that this actor is one of those actors who also has like a shitty band and they wish they were a musician, but they're just really a great actor. was telling a story to friends last week about his A-list actress X Once hooked up with this A-list politician who was awful in bed And after the 20-minute hookup called slash texted the X Every day for six months trying to hook up again He only gave up when the actress changed phone numbers I will say about the politician big on the environment Go

Al Gore Weirdly yes that's like the weirdest part of this story That was maybe too obvious of the head. That's fine. I wouldn't know almost anything. Right. Okay. I was about to say AOC. She's actually big on the environment. I'm pretty sure she's great. I don't know, but I had to guess, Molly. I'd say fantastic. Yeah, I don't think she's thirsty chasing anyone. Yeah. Or thirsty. Man in a band. Yeah. Kevin Bacon. No. Not Jared Letto. That's great. Because if he cheated on Gira Sedgwick, I'd flip out. Not Jared Lido, but I feel like so similar in type.

and just he's older than Jared Leto. You said he's a good actor? I think so, yes. Is Starsnake one of my favorite Christmas movies? He stars in one of your favorite Christmas. Three names. I might have thrown you off the Christmas movie thing because it's not like your traditional Christmas movie.

I've over him. Well, that's fine, because all I can think of three names was Stephen Van Zant. And I know that's not who you're fucking talking about. Steven Van Zand's Wacky Guitar Christmas. Yeah, that's my favorite. Yeah, I would walk you know what? I would rush the fuck out of it, Olden.

He's had the best career of all of us. So let us... Wow, okay. And it's not Jared Leto. Yeah. And it's... And it is a... It is a man, correct?

Yes. It is a man. Three names. Shitty band. Famously was with, like, a super hot... Billy Bob Thornton! Yes. Good job.

Now, the second person on this list, do you know... Sorry, I'm Vick. I'm giving my... self a mini victory right now because I'm awesome but that was good but you're not even done so so billy bob thornton's telling the story about an ex of his who banged al gore and the sex was so bad but al gore was so thirsty that he constantly was hitting her up oh the story's giving me the creeps I know I was just like what is this fucking blind item weird so do you have a decent understanding of billy bob thornton's ex because it's not the

obvious one. Okay, so obviously it's not... Angelina. It's not, yeah. Angelina. I'm joining for one of you to say. It's not Angelina Jolie. I didn't know. He dated this person. This person is one of my favorite actresses. She's... It's Laura Dern. Yeah. Wow. Wow. What is nuts is I just learned that they were engaged. Weird. I learned this. Henry

was talking. Henry, of course, because I think probably once every other month brings up the fact that Natalie was hit on by Billy Bob Thornton and we were talking about it and I was like I mean you know he's got great taste Angelina Jolie and he's like yeah and Laura Dern I was like Laura Dern he's like yeah

they were they were um he the reason why we were talking about it is he married Angelina Jolie while he was engaged to Laura Dern this is why we were talking about it and I was like why would you ever Laura Dern is perfect I know I'm obsessed

obsessed with Laurigerie's got that like snake lady thing. They're wearing each other's blood, doing there, you know. And so is he, man. This is a conundrum. Laura, wait, so Laura Dern was banged. Al Gorey. This is breaking news.

For 20 minutes. Banged once 20 minutes. I feel like Lar Dern, though, is one of those people who's like super also really into like the environment and things like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, a thousand percent. She's perfect.

I love Laura Dern. look up with you. I care about global warming. Right. I think maybe they just, they had some drinks. They're talking so passionately. Breasts are heaving. Buddocks is or flexing. And all of a sudden they're just like, let's just make it happen, bro. Straight up though. Straight up.

I'm saying years ago, so this is around the time that they were, you know, together. They were just saying years and years ago. I don't give a fuck about Al Gore. I'd probably still bang him for the story. There's so many people I'd bang for the story. be like, yeah, banged Al Gore once. Like, right?

Al Gore became kind of fun after losing the 2000, or after, you know, the Supreme Court gave the election to George W. Bush in 2000, he kind of let loose. He, like, grew out a beard. And I saw him speak because I lived in a group in Iowa. I always got to see all the presidential candidates speak. And he, like, oh, he wasn't running in 2004, but he opened for somebody at some rally. And he was, like, a real, he had, like, real kind of fun dad vibes. Like he kind of like found himself post the 2000 election, I think.

So, you know, he was kind of famous for being like a robot before then. And I think that he kind of got some like sexy vibes after that. If I'm not trying to say that Al Gore is actually sexy, but maybe he was like. I know you're talking around the potentiality of him at all being attractive to Laura turned in such a hilarious game. I'm trying to justify it. I think it's kind of fun. I don't know. This is the most like mind boggling blind Adam I think we've ever had.

That's why I pulled it. It's so weird. I was just like, those are three names I never thought I'd see. Ever, ever, never, ever. Laura turned, Billy Bob, and Al Gore. I don't, I hope it's true, I guess.

I guess I hope it's true. I'm blown away, and this is, what a delight. What a delightful blind item. Thank you so much. I'm so excited, and I guess, I'm also very excited, the fact that I just learned this. I feel like, I think it's like a little bit of a cosmo. I'm like, it's like, because we're talking about it right now.

Yeah, I said it. It's very interesting. Kismet. And I do want to do a quick shout out real quick that apparently, if we want to see Kristen Stewart in a good movie, and I've been told this by multiple people that I have to watch Clouds of Sills Maria. Apparently Clouds of Sills Maria is a great movie. I need to say this because apparently she's great in it.

I'm going to watch it soon. I've been meaning it's on my list of movies to watch while. Jeff is out of town. And so I just want to throw that out there that she might be a good actress. Maybe it just depends on what she's in. She's in one of my favorite summer movies of all time at Ventureland. I fucking love Adventureland. And she's great in it.

And that whole cast is great. And that if you want to come home from like a cookout, you got a little bit of a Bud Light drunk kind of buzz going. Are you saying back in the day when we used to smile? Yeah. Are you talking about a ton of? You just want to throw something on that just gives you those summer vibes, dude. Roll up a Jaybone, watch Adventureland.

It is just like the best summer movie, I think, or one of the best. I love it. And thank you guys so much for joining us today. We're back after Thanksgiving. It is definitely Christmas Shoes territory. We're definitely going to round the bend on I think you might like it Avenue. Coming up here pretty soon and stick with us for it. And I'm excited about it, and I think I do like it.

And you've got to be fucking souping me if you don't love Christmas shoes. All right. And remember that. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. We're calling me on Instagram, but Jack That Worm. Also check out. We're coming out, Chapter 9 of New Moon, Twilight. Yes, I just got to the part where Jacob takes his shirt off.

And he gives the shirt to Bella because she hurts her head. and I'm obsessed with him. I'm Team Jacob right now. Come at me with that. But either way, you can follow me. Twitch.com. So we'll be back. We got Jack and Knees.

6 PMET with Friday with Jackie. Molly Popton, we did the Thanksgiving stream. Molly popped in and said hi, which is so fun. And now it's such an incredible turnout. We didn't even talk about the Thanksgiving Day parade. God, I was so drunk. So early in the morning. But that's the only way to do it, especially these days.

But either way, check me out, Twitch. Shat TV 4 slash Holdenators. Hoja, Molly! My name is MJ. My name is Molly Neffle. I am MJK. L Kat on Instagram. We love you guys so much.

Be safe. And we will talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Thank you.