Page 7 - Ep. 383: Country Mane

Episode Date: December 31, 2020

We goss about Hilaria Baldwin, alt-rock twitter tea and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is Gucci Mane a clone?!?!?Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I guess 2020 is coming to a close or whatever. I guess we can say goodbye to this shit house of a year. And yeah, I'm going to bring up a little number from 2004, styled by the genius named Jojo. Get out, leave right now. Why, it's the end of you and me. It's too late now, and I can't wait for you to be gone. Because I know about her.

Who? And I wonder why, how I realized. You said that you would treat me right, but you would just a waste of time. 2020? You said we were going to have perfect vision this year. And the vision is clear. Fuck off. I'm ready for the new year. 2021 is barging in like a lion. And all you haters out there just being like, well, it's not just because the year ends like, anything's going to change. Yeah, a couple things are already going to change. First of all, the vaccines are getting out there. Second of all, the fucking guy's going to leave that big house. There's immediate things happening at the beginning of 2021 that are abjectly better than how things have been.

So I actually will say no. I think things are hopefully going to turn around in a big way in the coming months. Also, symbolism. People, everyone who's like, oh, not going to tear right away. I need symbolism, dicks. Yes, of course. Of course nothing's going to change. But I need to tell myself that this is, we are fucking closing the door on this shit year.

I need to tell myself that the next year is going to be better. Will it? I don't fucking know. But of course you tell yourself that. You have to. You're right. Symbolism 100%. It's how we carry ourselves.

It's what we surround ourselves. This year, I've been a bit of a pig pen. I feel like I am covered in dirt. and I'm surrounded by a cloud of sadness at all times. Dust cloud around you and it's just so weird and you're always like talking to your parents and they go blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and it's honestly it's better that way especially after the holliers it was better that that's all I hear but I am coming I'm going into the new year with a renewed sense of positivity we have to

conjure it within yourself do a ritual read a book you haven't read that you haven't read that love, but you haven't read in a long time. What? I, you know what? I'm not usually a resolutions person. But this year, 2021, I'm going to read more books. I have stopped in my depression during the pandemic. I was trying to identify something that I lost within myself through this year.

And I have barely been able to read since the start of all of this. and I'm done. I miss escaping through literature. And we can't travel. We're not going to be able to travel at least for a while. These things will still at least be a part of us, but I can't travel in my mind. And I'm going to be, and a good friend of mine, beautiful Kep,

who used to live with Holden and Kissel, sent me a trilogy, I guess it's not trilogy. I think there's eight of them called Mistborn. That I know that the internet is aflame with. He sent me the first three, and I'm starting it this weekend. Fantastic, and I continue to want to read, but every time I get into bed, it seems, most every time, I'm too drunk to. So I am going to try to be sober enough to read a couple of chapters of a book. Chapters, yeah, baby.

When I go to bed, which will hopefully coincide with this insane move that we're trying to do amidst all of this, but I just have to do it. And I'm going to do it as protectively as possible, but it cannot sit in this one bedroom anymore. Oh, my God, it's become Bill Cosby. Well, don't say that. I just can't do those things anymore. You know, before all the stuff. Jeffrey, my name is Jeffrey a boy-year-old.

Bill Cosby himself, unfortunately, still makes me smile. I try not to watch it. But I still got the VHS. So it's not like I'm giving them any month. Oh, this is the hell we're dying on. But either way, I am very excited. Bring it up 2021 with, 2021 with Bill Kossby. Osby.

Sorry. Molly, do you have anything that you would try that you? I mean, I know that that's a lot to ask. But is there anything that you are thinking of for your future that you are going to work on? PCP, LSD. Try your names. They're going to work PCP in. Well, I will say that you are definitely not the only one who has stopped reading.

One of my best friends also said that he hasn't been able to read anything since the pandemic. started because I also haven't read anything. I used to read on my commute, so I blame that. Yes. I used to read on the trains, and I blame not being in New York, but, oh, girl, you've been here for three years. Fucking get your shit together. And it's so nice to read.

I've noticed that there is a pattern of needing low commitment stuff, so it's not just books. It's even like a big video game, like a really like engaging hour, you know, you dump hours into a video game is a hard commitment for me. lately and I've realized this why I've been really into comedians and cars getting coffee because it's 15 minutes long it's such low commitment

you throw it on you're like I could watch one of these I could watch eight of these I don't know how many I'm going to watch but I'm just going to watch these little chunks and it constantly changes and it's also fun to watch people drive around and little chunks and it's nice to just watch people drive around and go to public spaces and communicate with each other that's the other part

in terms of reading and commitment I this was what, you know, years and years ago, but I was like, I had gotten into a bad habit of only, I would like read, like, I would like choose like an aspirational, like, really like smart and intelligent nonfiction book and then like not read it. Yeah. And I had a roommate that was like, I always have a nonfiction book that I like have been meaning to read and a fun fiction book. So I took that and I just gave up on reading nonfiction entirely. And now I just exclusively read extremely sugary fiction and like the Big Little Lies, you know, every book that the Big Little Lies author has written.

Little Big Truths. You know, you've got medium-sized half-truth. I'm still reading the Twilight books, obviously, on Patreon, but I don't count that because I feel that that is... That's work. Honestly, it's almost not even escapism because I will say if you are following along with Jackie's book club on the Patreon, I cried through the second. half of the chapter that was released on Christmas because it brought up a bunch of weird issues

from my past. And then I talked about it in the middle of the chapter as I cried. And I apologize for crying on Christmas. It was, you know, you think that sometimes you think they're sugary and you're like, oh my God, but why am I thinking about the times I thought about suicide? Good old trauma. Just never let you go. doesn't. Never lets you go. Never has smiling. I love how Jackie,

neither of us have said the real big issue that we have, which is making everything we do into work. Everything that we do for fun, we turn into work, and you and I both have this addiction.

And it's a whole situation. We need to work out probably individually at therapy. Or maybe we could do couples therapy, Jackie. Oh, that would be fun. I thought about it. I thought about getting into couples therapy with you,

but I've also thought about getting into couples therapy with my brother before. We've talked about this, like, legitimately. many times. Jackie, and I would even be interested of making this into work,

which is sadistic, but I want to get my will going when I'm out there, and you should do it with me, and we could even turn it into a show. I think it like a podcast. Yeah, and then people can donate, or do it over Jackanese.

People can donate money to what we're going to put into our will. And we'll come up. I have literally nothing to my name. I own nothing. I have nothing. And I think they would only ever give

on debt. I don't even know if that, But Jackie is so much more than that. I want Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams to play at my funeral. You're hearing me say that right now and for posterity. But also all the pool, the cord questions you have to answer. That's the biggest part. That's the biggest part.

Have you done it, Molly? Yeah, yeah. You have to get it with kids. Yeah, we did it right before having kids. Did I talk to you about this? Did I talk to you about this on page seven? I don't think so. Okay.

But I will say, you know, for those of you out there who know that I love puppets, the only thing that I bequeathed in my will was my two handmade puppets. All my puppets. I have two handmade ones. Are they to me and hold it? I'm sorry. They are to my friend, Guy, who is the first, my best friend who I've made puppets with in college. But like, I don't have anything, like none of my belongings have any value.

So, you know, when we were doing it with, you know, it was, so, you know, Gideon is a lawyer and he knows lots of lawyers. So one of his friends who does, like, uh, wills and stuff for, queer people was like, my wedding present to you is doing this for you. Oh, amazing. Very sweet. Dude, that's fucking rad. Super rad.

But we were going through. And, you know, she was like, you know, think about like things, you know, where you want your things to go. And I was like, well, yeah, I can all go to housing works like, you know, for, you know, for people who need things. Like, I don't have anything to. And she was like, anything that you like really want to make sure goes to, like, one person.

And I was like, okay, well, my puppets, my two handmade puppets need to go to guy. That's the only thing. Not to your children. That is fucking hilarious. What are they going to do with them? They're too young. Be terrified by them, yeah. Be frightened by them so much that they jump out of window, screaming.

Guy would then be charged with like, you know, cultivating a love of puppetry in them, you know. But it's, it's, I'm going to get everything else. And actually, Molly, I'm going to ask you on air because I forgot to ask you beforehand, did your children enjoy all of the instruments that I sent them? You sent the instruments? That was you? We have been trying to figure out who sent the fucking, oh my God, Jackie.

I got a text getting in right now. You sent the bag of instruments? I said the instruments. I sent the creepy Cyclops book for, yeah, for, it was a creepy book for babies. And I sent the Melissa and Doug. Anatomy puzzle. Because, again, I was like, the best part, I'm sorry that I'm asking you on here. I figured that Amazon didn't put a thing in, evil Amazon.

I want to forever send my friends with kids the most annoying presents I can. Wow. That's great. This is so funny. So we got the package on Christmas Eve. I'm in a pod with my parents who watch my kids when I do schoolwork. So they were at my house and my brother and his partner. And the package came and we had been like, okay, you get to.

to open one package for, you know, you get to open one present on Christmas Eve and then the rest tomorrow. And so they had already opened something. And then the package came like at like, you know, 5 p.m. or something. And so, uh, and maybe there was a thing in it. And I just didn't, because my mom was like, oh, that might be like your uncle who said, who said he sent something. So we assumed it was him. Um, and so we opened and it is a backpack full of the noisiest musical instruments. You could possibly imagine. There are so many of them.

There's like 35 instruments. There's like, there's like so many egg shakers. There's so many tambourines. There's two whistles. I already confiscated one of the whistles. There's a xylophone. There's a triangle. It's like the noisiest percussion instruments you could possibly imagine.

Hell yeah. And I thought my uncle had sent it and I was like, I can't like hide this if my uncle, can't take this away from them if this was like a loving family member gift. And then it turned out my uncle's gift came a couple of days later. It was, it was soft, soft, a soft Ernie plushy and a soft Elmo plushy. And I was like, if it wasn't him, then who was it? And I was like, who was it? Who was it? And so I was like, oh my God, maybe there was a thing and I didn't even see the thing. I'm never going to know who sent these fucking instruments. I didn't. It was you. Jeff talked to me, Jeff talked to me out of buying them.

a drum set. I wanted to buy them a child's drum set and he's like A, I think they are too young and B you cannot. He's like at least like an egg shaker you can take away from them. Where are you going to hide a drum set? Yeah, exactly.

I can't believe that was you because I remember you sent us a very sweet gift last year but I did not, oh my God I'm so A, so happy I know who sent the mystery bag of musical instruments be so happy that you'll be okay with it if I hide it from them. Hide them.

You must hide them. It is my only, I have very few friends with children. And I love it because Henry is the one, I mean, we've talked about this before. Henry is the one that will give educational gifts, like when we had a Holocaust Christmas for my niece so that she could learn about the Holocaust for April. Holocaust needs. But he's the one that teaches, like, gives the informational things, and I'm the one that gives the loud things. And together, we make the worst aunt and uncle you could ever meet. That is horrific.

I mean, they love it. And I, you know, for those who don't remember, my children are two and one. So a bag full of percussion instruments, big hit. They love it. Zelda is very upset because she wants to be able to hold all four egg shakers in her hands at one. and her little hands are too small. Of course. Of course she does.

They love it. Also, I just want to give a shout out to all the ladies in their 30s holding up their newly gifted Baby Yoda on Christmas Day. I also gave my wife a Baby Yoda and she, Baby Yoda was stuffed in the stocking and she didn't see it for a little while. And then at one point she turned and saw Baby Yoda peeking out of the stocking and she just went, Grogo! Grogo! She started slowly walking towards it.

I was only walking towards. I was like, Lexi, we can't pull out the stuff in the stockings. Yeah, we have to wait until gift time. She's just like, but grow! Like, she just was in a trance, and it was terrifying. Also, Jeff opened up my world to expectation versus reality on Reddit. And if you look up expectation versus reality on Baby Yoda on Reddit, of all of the poor saps that bought fake Baby Yoda stuff,

that when it showed up, it looked nothing like Baby Yoda. That's so funny. It's so funny. Look up expectation versus reality. I believe it was on Reddit of Baby Yoda. I love that. I think I got mine through Disney. I got like the plushy one though.

I didn't get the like weird, creepy, animatronic one. No, it's cute. She wants to snug up on something. She wants to hold it and pretend it's her child. So she wants snug. I get it. I get that she wants snug. But I guess who also wants snug this year,

who is not going to be cuddled by the internet or by the world. Interesting transition. We're talking about Hilaria Baldwin. We've got to talk about what I had to look into this because of course, the world has been set a flame by Hilaria Baldwin, posing as a person from Spain for most of her life. Now, I looked into it because I never want to call someone out that like, oh, is this just the internet? being the internet again and, you know, putting someone's head on a spike

for no reason because it's the holidays and there's nothing else happening. Nah, dude, this is kind of fucked up. It's so funny. But it's like hilarious to me. You know what I mean? I feel like it's less rage-indusory thing that everybody's just being Nelson from the Simpsons right now.

Just pointing the finger. Yeah. That's what's great. It's no, like, there's no real righteousness to be had like like her approach is like wow everyone is being a little bit righteous but it's like you see it's kind of said you were from spain and you're not from spain you're from boston you kind of speak with a spanish accent and you aren't spanish it's it's a little bit it's a little bit of a whoops it's it's like but she was basically a white american lady pretending to be a white european lady

but because Americans don't understand colonialism, there's like this association of like Latina with Spain and that's actually not like the European country, Spain colonized Latin America. It is a different ballgame. But there's like this, but as a result, she's had this, walked this very bizarre line of being like on the cover, like being like on the cover of Ola magazine and like. Multiple times. Multiple times. Her bio for CAA says that she's born in Spain. Alec Baldwin went on David Letterman and did like an impression of her accent and said my wife is from Spain. And all along, she was just Hillary from Boston.

Her real name is Hillary Hayward Thomas. There's a hyphen. She was born in Boston to parents David L. Thompson Jr. and Dr. Catherine Hayward. She is also, I think that this is one of those things. I feel like it's the same kind of thing when I talk to my mom and she's like,

I still feel like I'm 33. Like I don't understand. Like, I know that I'm older, but then she's 36. And in my brain I was like, oh my God, but she's like a real adult. She's only three years older than me and she's a real adult.

She's a wellness guru and she's only three years older than me. I feel the same way every time I find out that Beyonce is around my age as well as Adele being younger than me. I'm just like, what have I done with my life? But that's a whole other ball game with the new year. So she was born, so if you are not aware, Hilaria Baldwin, Alec Baldwin's wife, they have five children together,

very attractive wellness guru. This all kind of started because Amy Schumer posted a picture, which I thought was actually pretty funny because Hilaria Baldwin, I believe, gave birth to a child this year and looks amazing. Whatever she did, I mean, her body is very, very tight,

even though she gave birth to a child not too long ago. So Amy Schumer posted a picture that Hilaria Baldwin had posted of herself with her very young baby and made a joke about her own baby body, about how she got her baby body back, even though, you know, I don't understand how someone can look like that after giving birth not too long ago.

I believe it has something to do with lots of money and having many trainers. And so she posted this. It all kind of started. Everything kind of opened up on the internet that she has been, that Hilaria Baldwin, real name Hillary, has been appropriating Spanish culture for 10 years. So she has now come out in multiple interpretations. interviews in the past couple of days. I feel like saying appropriating Spanish culture self is a boring way to say it. She's been pretending to be a woman from Spain.

For three years. That's a funter way to put it. I get it that she's appropriating, but that is the funder way to say. Complete with speaking in a Spanish accent. Having a weird ass, is this even a standard Spanish name, Hilaria, which is just Hillary but Spanish eyes? And saying she moved to New York City when she was 19. Yeah, and so, and this was, in addition to the Amy Schumer thing, there was...

Yeah, she did move to New York City when she was 19. Right. From Boston! And she, it wasn't like, and she's, yeah, so she went back and forth. Right, and there was also a Twitter thread, like, I think preceding the Amy Schumer thing, there was a Twitter thread from somebody whose Twitter handle is Lenny Briscoe, also, like, putting this out there. And then the, so, so, right, so, so now there was this.

whole time's thing today about it. And right, she's like, well, I went back and forth a lot. And she does appear to be bilingual in Spanish. And so she's bilingual. She spent a lot of time in Spain. Crucially, that is not the same thing as being Spanish. Sounds like she had a wealthy family who loved Spain and vacationed in Spain a lot. That got to be in Spain most of the, like half of the time. She was in Spain. And so in Spain, she was called Hilaria. Like, that was what she was referred to. And so she decided to then change her name.

Pretend to be Spanish. Pretend to be Spanish. She's pretending to be Spanish. So check this out. So check this out. First of all, I made the analogy of like, it's like I was called Horacio in my Spanish class. Because my teacher had no idea how to make my name from Holden into a Spanish name. And it's like if I was like, I love that.

I'm just going to be Horacio at PE in theater class. I'm just going to always be Horacio at now for wherever I go. But also the other analogy I had in mine was my, I like this person a lot. So if you ever end up hearing this, I like you a lot. Just know that. But this was supremely annoying. We did London study abroad my junior year of college. Oh, did someone go to the loo?

And the final day, the one. of my like good buddies there the final day we're all hanging out together because you know how you do on your last day I'm like such an important part of your you know child of life for what you you yeah you like are all this group of people you surround each other all day at the pub just really soaking in London for the last day and she decided she loved the London experience so much she loved her time there that she was going to spend the entirety of the final day speaking in a bad British accent and it was really fucking annoying. And I really think that's what happened here.

She just literally is like, I love the Spanish language so much. It's so wonderful. The culture. I just really click with this. She loves the culture. And I do feel that it came from a place of respect. Like, I do think that she loves it. So she just started speaking in that accent.

And then it just sort of snowballed from there. And like, so I had a friend who lived in, who lived in the UK for like, a long, long time, like almost 10 years, maybe 10 years. And, you know, so over her time living there, she didn't get like a, she didn't start being like, Cherio, pip, bit, but like. But when we would talk, like I would notice, of course, that. Little things. Yeah, little things, but of course, right?

Like, that happens to all of us, you know, I moved to Minnesota. I started talking more like a Minnesotan, moved to New York. And especially if you talk to, you know, people from New York for, you know, and if that's who you hang out with, you start picking up, you know, turns of phrase and certain. say certain words a certain way. And so I get that. I'm also extremely monolingual. And so, you know, I know switching back and forth, you know, for people who are bilingual,

you know, it can be like I, at work, I used to do meetings with my friend who would facilitate and he's bilingual and who co-facilitate. And so he would, you know, get tripped up over different words going back and forth because he was like, it's really hard to switch. You know, you're not just like, you can't. just like switch automatically. So in that sense, but there's this video of her

on the Today show, making a spot show, and she says, she looks at the cucumber, she says, oh, how you say it in English? How you say in English? And this is also making fun of her,

this is making fun of her aceto, not making fun of Spanish people. Right. But the, how you say in English. Cucumbus. Cucumber, yes.

And the lady withers like, cucumber indeed. Yes. You're so Spanish. And so, and I say the bilingual thing because again, it might make, it might be fair that you're, if you are switching back and forth, you get tripped up. But to be a fucking native English speaker and be like, how you say it in English. How you say in English is not, it is just, it's, but also she like was on the cover of Ola magazine multiple times, on the cover of Latino magazine multiple times. And she's like, well, I never read the articles when they said in it that she is from Spain.

And then she spent time in Boston. And that's the real damning part where she's like, oh, I'm from there. And I lived in Boston for a while, as opposed to I'm from Boston and I lived in Spain for a while. And I think that's the real like, go fuck yourself. No one's going to get that mixed up. I think that how you say thing could just be a tick that she picked up switching between the two languages. Like I could kind of buy that even though it really does look like she's pretending to be as person not struggling with English words.

In the years, when we did, when we were doing the, like when I was trying to become completely bilingual, I would definitely at some time say, come me say Dice, because I was so used to fucking up when I was speaking Spanish that I was used to saying, como say Dice while I was speaking. And then, like, especially when I was talking to people at work and I was going back and forth between English and Spanish. But also, I would be like, oh, Jesus Christ. I would say that to myself where it's like,

because I'm not a native Spanish speaker, that to say something like that while I'm speaking, I am aware of the fact that I don't say Coma Sidesse in my normal speaking, like not normal, when I'm speaking English all the time. Right. And it just, again, it's like, you know, I feel like, and she says,

oh, you know, my accent picks up depending on my emotion. So I taught, you know, my work for 11 years, I worked with, most of my coworkers were bilingual Spanish and English, and most of my students were bilingual Spanish and English. And it was so funny doing improv with these, I had like these three amazing years where I taught improv to a group of bilingual Spanish and English middle school boys. And they loved improv, and they would start scenes in English, and then if their characters would get mad in the scene, they would switch to Spanish.

and I always thought it was so funny and they were like, no, miss, it's so much funnier to be angry in Spanish. And they would say, like, I associate certain emotions. Like, certain emotions are more fun to express in Spanish or certain emotions are more fun to express in English. Like, it was so fun to listen to bilingual people talk about their relationship with, you know,

expressing themselves in a different language, or even if they're essentially native speakers to both growing up, speaking both, they might, you know, struggle to find the right word and whatever. Like, all of that is interesting, but her, this, again, none of that is what's happening here. She is a white lady from Boston who spends a lot

of time, essentially, I think, vacationing in Spain and living in Spain, going back and forth, learning the language to her credit. But like, so, for example, my absolute favorite fucking quote from this New York Times piece today is she, so she

has repeatedly said that her family has roots in Spain. And so to read from the Times article she says though she has said her family has roots in Spain she said she was speaking colloquially these people who I call my family I am learning in this particular situation I have

to say people who we have considered to be our family so she was like essentially say like imagine if I was like I have roots in Queens and North Carolina yeah I have good friends from Queens

I'm from Dubuque Iowa but I have roots in Queens in North Carolina. Because they're good friends. They're like family. Are they my family? No, but I have roots. No, but they're like family. Yes, I can do a southern accent.

You give me four fireball shots when I am in Palm Harbor, Florida. And I start saying fireball, I'll call fireball instead. Because if you're hadn't dream that much fireball bound people, I call fireball. I'm a call fireball. Yeah, I think maybe it helps that it's also. it just happens to be arrogant as fuck, Alec Baldwin's wife. And, you know, I think that kind of helps out a little bit. I definitely remember on the S&L where Biden was reelected at the end when he held up the sign that just said,

you're welcome because apparently he's the reason why Biden won the election with his Trump impression. It makes a little bit easier for me to be like, you know what? Cool. Like if it was like Tom Hanks' wife or something. I'd be like, bummed. Rita Wilson is beautiful and perfect. I just, it is more, I think, I feel that it is very humorous

because she's been called out so hard. And also the fact that, I mean, I'm telling you, it has been 16 hours, and she has an interview in the New York Times. That shows the kind of pull this woman has, we don't have to feel bad for her. The interview is really worth reading because she is like a trapped rabbit in the interview. She's like, well, it's because I really believe in boundaries.

I just didn't want to drag my parents into it and where my parents are from. That's really nobody's business. Essentially being like, I said I was from Spain because I didn't want to, I wanted to protect my parents' privacy who are American and I was born in America. Like, you know, and the Times article is so funny because it's like, Miss. Baldwin, who, you know, whose Instagram is filled with pictures of her in her underwear doing, you know, pregnancy selfies and advertising her baby in, uh, diaper ads, you know, and it's like, okay, so you're going to do this whole thing about boundaries and you essentially, you're saying you pretended to be a Spanish lady because of boundaries to protect your parents' privacy.

Well, now everyone is calling your parents to be like, are you Spanish? And are you? They're like, no comment. Because then also Alec Baldwin's, it's like vague booking the like response or interview. You know what I mean? Like it's this weird like, yeah, that quote in itself, one of the most important places to start is the idea of boundaries. So it's literally just like trying to fill as much space with bullshit as humanly possible just to like make the interviewer feel like an adequate response is going to be. because also,

Alec Baldwin went on like a little, like, eight minute talk on, and I saw quotes from that. I could try to pull them up, but it was the same kind of bullshit. It was like, for her,

the belief of a thing is important in the sense of knowing it. Like, it's like when you don't know the answer to, when you, yeah, when you don't have anything for the essay, so you just make up like a full paragraph of bullshit.

Oh yeah, added those extra words. I remember that's what Shakespeare did. The thought of Spain is a good place to begin the concourse. Her Instagram video is the same too. It's so funny. Her Instagram video is like, yeah, so, you know, am I Hillary? Yes.

In Spain, do they call me hilaria? Yes. Did I just bring that into the rest of my life? I don't understand why everyone's so upset. Like, you know. It's like, yeah, I don't know. And I guess I'm sure there's people out there that are legitimately upset, but I will just laugh at this and laugh and laugh and laugh at this. I mean, and I get why, like, I understand why people are upset.

It is just, especially down to the fact that of how many articles I've read, it's like she's also been in the cover of Latina magazine, which we know that like, if you say, if you claim you are from Spain, you're all, you're not a Latina. There is a historical difference between the two. And the fact that you don't even know that should probably mean something. Look, we needed a new one. Lori Loughlin just got out of jail. We needed someone new. You're right. We needed a new rich upset.

I do also really, I do kind of enjoy the fact that so there is a dancer. His name is Alexander Reiktus who danced with Hilaria from 2006 to 2009. and he even says the whole Hilaria thing is hilarious to me. I understand why she did it. It was always her desire to be considered Spanish. She had roots in Spain. Her brother lives there. She visited a lot.

But Hillary is a very good, strong name. So why would you change that when you were born here and you weren't born in Spain? I'm from Russia. I have a lot of nicknames in Russian. But I'm still Alexander when I come back to the United States. I think it's just kind of funny that this man gave this. quote to the New York Times while he laughed about it. One of my favorite tweets was like, oh,

Hilaria Baldwin's going to bring this to the red table or, as she would call it, lateral head mesa. Yeah. I hope she's on the red table, which we didn't even talk about this last time, Molly, the fact that I have finally drug you into being obsessed with the red table, which I try to not talk about in here because I really do, I know that this. This is a dumb, even dumb reason. I hate Facebook.

I think Facebook is truly evil. But the red table talks is one of the few things. I think why I think it might be the only reason why I keep my Facebook is so that I could watch the red table talks. And I'm obsessed with it. I want to make something just like it. You dragged me in. And you've been talking about this for months. And I was like, okay, okay.

I like Willow Smith. I liked Janet Pinkett Smith. But then it was the, what's your favorite? can I think of her name? Lori Loughlin's kid, Olivia Jade. Yes. And she went on Red Table Talk

and I watched the whole thing and I just fell in love with that family. Like they, it is such a good show. And I know that that's what you've been saying, but it's so fucking good. And they have fun TikToks together. But like they're all just like,

they're really, really good interviewers. And like, Grandma, I don't know her name. I just keep calling her. grandma. But she was like, it was so interesting to watch Olivia Jade go on this because of course she's essentially like, you know, the photo, like the poster child for, you know, white privilege because of what Lori Lothlin did. And grandma was like, I didn't want to talk to her. I don't care about this girl. She's going to be fine. I don't think that we should be wasting our time on her. There's like nothing interesting about her. And Jada Pinkett Smith was like, well, I actually like thought

about Willow a lot when I was reading this. And grandma was like, don't you even bring Willow into this? This has nothing to do with her. And Willow's sitting there. Like it was like, like, but Jada Pinkett Smith was like, you know, children of privilege, children of celebrity, like, and what parents will do for their children. It was a fascinating conversation. And now I'm a complete fucking convert and I follow them all on Instagram.

So many of the episodes are so brutally fascinating. Honestly, of course, besides the fact that this is a very important, like the, the Pinkett Smith family is important to us as a pop culture society. I would say that, like, they are up there with the Kardashians of, quote, American pop culture royalty. But just in general, to watch three generations of women talking from one family really interests me. And how fluid the conversation is, especially. Between Jada Pickett Smith and her name is Adrian Banfield Norris, who is her mother. I didn't want to keep calling her grandma.

But it's that conversation where I can't imagine talking to my mother as openly, as she does to her mother, and as Willow Smith does to her mother. I get jealous of seeing that people have that relationship. I do. I really do. And I'm very close to my mom. I mean, I talk to my mom for at least an hour every other day. And yet still, I am envious of the relationships between these three generations of a family, of a very interesting family. We will do the pop history of the Smiths.

I have been wanting to do it for a while, but that's going to be a big undertaking because I'm obsessed with how they've raised their children. It's so interesting. And for me, it's the generational thing. You know, it's like, you know, being close to my parents, but like, you know, having. like when I see families that have that kind of intergenerational closeness, which is why it's nice that my kids get to see, you know, my

parents all the time because I just didn't see my grandparents that much. Like, and you know, but also, right, it's not just the, it's the, it's the, it's the just complete openness, like that, that Willow and her mom and her, to imagine being a very, very young person, you know, somebody

in your 20s and being like, the people I speak most openly with are my mom and my grandma. is just like such a fascinating like model of family. Yeah, that is so, I think that is really you know, alien for a lot of people. Would you guys...

Sorry, Holden, we lost you. No, that's fine. It is great. No, no, I'm just, I'm opposite of doom scrolling Twitter right now because I really want to talk about Eve Six guy. EVE Six guy. Oh my God. This is the best.

I am now definitely following the shit out of this guy. Jackie, if you want to explain what's happening here, it's pretty amazing. So y'all remember Eve Six? Round a beautiful oblivion Rondevo I'm through with you. By the way, to me, is one of the most

annoying lyrics ever in a song. How dare you? I love Eve Six. I've seen Eve Six multiple times. You guys will always hear about the time when my mom threw away my Eve Six shirt that said tie me to a bedpost with a picture of a stick figure

tied to a bed post. And my mom got rid of it after I saw Eve Six, and I was devastated. I couldn't believe she would get rid of my shirt that I saved up money and spent $20 for, so she gave me the $20 back and said, I don't want you wearing that trash. But that's a whole other discussion. Max Collins, who is the ginger boy from Eve Six, I who I think that is part of the reason why I have always been in love with Ginger's.

And yeah, no, but most people don't care about Eve 6. However, Max Collins just joined Twitter. And he had never been on Twitter before. And what did he do? Start spreading tea about early 2000s other alt rock bands. And I followed it fervently. So funny. Just to start it off, before getting into the tea about the other bands, this quote, this tweet,

imagine if the worst diary entry you ever wrote as a teenager with double platinum. Yeah, that was what brought me into this. Oh, so funny. Ray Z. One of his tweets, the third eye blind guy had me fake arrested by a real cop in Alabama on tour, Because the night before, I'd taken a big jar of candy from the front desk and said, I'm the singer of third-eye blind. I can do whatever I want.

And they called his room at 3 a.m. telling him to give the candy back. So he's just on Twitter, Dishin Hot Goss from 20 years ago? It is so good. Also, my favorite touch is that he, because no one would know these people's names, it's the third-eye blind guy. The spin doctor's guy Like he knows their names He's worked with all of them But he knows we would only know them as

The spin doctor's guy It's so It's so funny I feel like between the Eve 6 On Twitter Plus my weird witch I will only briefly get into it To save you guys

Of the Scott Stap worm time I went down this week And then sent us down It was interesting Yeah I went down the, I went to, because you were like, you don't need to read this stuff. But if you have a little extra time and then cut to me just being like, wow, you really went on a journey.

Really? So we were talking to a friend of ours from our Twitch community, who is amazing. And their name is Metal Flack. And they work as a publicist for amazing bands. And we were making jokes about Scott Stapp, who they've worked with before. And Scott Stapp is currently, apparently, a. about to portray Frank Sinatra in a Ronald Reagan biopic that is going to be starring Dennis Quaid coming out next year. Did you just wrap your brain around what I just said?

So Scott Stap is playing Frank Sinatra in Reagan. So if you listened to Creed and you thought, you know, this really. reminds me of listening to old blue eyes. If anybody has a voice as good as the guy from Creed, it's Frank Sinatra, you know, if that is your framing, then this is the film for you. I will watch it because, as you guys know, I do have a soft spot in my heart for Creed. I've seen them multiple times. And I really did, though, it was like, what has been going on with Scott Stapp?

And I did include in this week's links some of what happened with Scott Stap. It's actually a very interesting, very upsetting story of a man that got very famous who struggles very much with mental illness. He was an undiagnosed bipolar. He ended up finding God. There's a lot of, like, there was, which I didn't even realize, there was a leaked sex video of him and Kid Rock, and Beaches in a tour bus that he had to try and stop. And like, of course, we've always made jokes about Scott Stap. But it, he's had a rough go with shit.

And I can't really imagine becoming as famous as he was, as brutally meant to. unstable as he was and didn't know it and have to go through all of it in front of everyone. And that's really hard. And again, I'm not a big, I'm not really big into organized religion. But if that is something that found, gave him solace in helping him get his life back on track, mausle, muzzle, you fucking, you, you, you do you, baby. but now I think I have to watch him as Frank Sinatra in the Ronald Reagan biopic.

Oh, 100%. I can't believe it's a Ronald Reagan. That's the weirdest part. Because when my brain stopped reading at Scott Stap as Frank Sinatra, I didn't get to the rest of the sentence, which was at a Ronald Reagan biopic. So that is the part that's really tripping me up. But also, Eve Sixth guy tweeted,

I have nothing but love for the third eye blind guy. He's such an asshole. It's almost generous. I wish rock stars were still like that still existed. Like there's an entertainment value to his abject shitty personality that's completely missing in today's culture. That's the funny. I love to hear of Myers like how much of a fucking asshole he is.

That's the late singer of a bit. That's so funny though. It is a weird, weird hollier thing of ever, of this like early 2000s. famous people coming out around right now. And you know what? I'll take it. Because you gotta be souping me if you're gonna tell me this was an easy

hollier for literally anybody. Very difficult times. And if I'm gonna go ahead and lose my brain into what happened to Scott Stapp or what's going on with the Eve 6 guy and has anything changed his existence in the past 20 years,

the answer is no. And isn't that kind of fun? It is kind of fun, but you know what else is kind of fun? What? This week's celebrity conspiracy, hit me with the share. Can you believe in? That Gucci Bane is a clone. What?

Yes, it's clone corner. We've got another clone theory. Celebrity clones is like the number one, I feel like theory. This one came in from Lucia. Thank you so much, Lucia. Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. That's page the number seven podcast at gmail.com. And here is the theory.

First of all, a little background. Radrick, Atlantic Davis, also known as Gucci-Mane, is a pioneer of the trap music subgenre of hip-hop out of Atlanta. He is known for his albums such as Trapp House and Trappathon, and back to the Trapp House. However, he was also moonlit as a drug dealer, which is one of the many reasons he ended up serving a couple years in prison. That and, like, maybe killing someone, and there's a whole,

there's a lot of stuff going on. But either way, this is where we get the clone. many feel that the man who left prison is not in fact the real Gucci main and that he is instead a clone created by the CIA with many feeling that the intent was to whitewash trap music. Here's the evidence. The first piece of evidence is that some on Twitter noted he doesn't seem to have his ice cream tattoo on his face anymore.

Then on a website called Things You Think.com, an article appeared with a quote from a rapper named Lil Boozy, who claimed that the man who left prison is quote, not the real Gucci man. Little Boozzie said, that ain't the real Gucci. We both sitting in the studio and he seemed lost after his show at Mansion. He called me Herman.

What? In a video post on social media, Gucci said, and I quote, I will never support nor deny those accusations. Whoa. The evidence against is this, just in case you need some understanding convincing. There's a quote from

Janine Joseph, a spokesperson for the National Human Genome Research Institute. What a great quote. Who says, despite several highly publicized claims, human cloning still appears to be fiction. There's currently no solid scientific evidence that anyone

has cloned human embryos, apparently because of something called spindle proteins whatever. Spindle proteins. Perhaps he just got his life together after prison? No. probably clones. So I leave it up to you guys. I love that they got a fucking gene expert to weigh and be like,

it's actually. In a BuzzFeed article. In a BuzzFeed article, no less too. That's so good. Apparently the spindle proteins are very hard to reproduce scientifically. And it's something very specific to humans. It can take it at what you will. But of course, why would the CIA be like, hey, we're making people over here.

You can keep that close to them. Yeah, you'd think that they wouldn't be fucking splashing that on everybody's mindscapes. What do you think, Molly? It's hard because I'm not very familiar with this particular celebrity, but I am going to say... Molly, you don't listen to Trap, famous trap rapper Gucci Mane? You haven't got the time? I would have thought you'd be a maniac over there. Maniac.

Yeah, Gucci Maniac, can't get it. But I am going to say I believe, and I don't believe that genome sequencing person because she sounds like a page chill. Yeah, she does sound like, she was probably part of the voting fraud too that happened or whatever. Oh my God, you're right. What about you, Jackie? If there is something I learned from watching multiplicity, it is that this is not only possible, but very easily done. And yes, I also believe. Make another Gucci Main.

There you go. 20 of them. You know, I think there's not enough trap music out there. And I'd love to see operatic Gucci Main. I'd love to see, you know, country folk Gucci Main.

Country Maine. I think it sounds great. Yeah, if every clone is a different genre, that's real. That's a great. Make that movie. Did we just write that movie? Oh, yeah.

Multiplicity, but where. Gucci Main Edition? Multiplacy, colon, the Gucci Main Edition. The Gucci Main Edition. I think about multiplicity, and I know that I reference it on here often. Often. I think about it. I think once a week.

It is something I think about all the time. It is very problematic. It is not good. And I watch it at least once a year. Can I introduce another theory to bring it all back together in a little bow? Please. What if, Helderia, is actually the Spanish clone of Hillary. Oh, my God.

Yes, hold it. Yes. There you go. 100% yes. That's most likely what happened. What if we all have a clone who is also our own race but just has slightly more cultural cachet, you know? God, that would be great. That would be so great.

Imagine all of us dancing in a music video to one of my many viral songs that I imagine would come out if, like, Venezuela and Jackie had the scene. Like, imagine how fucking spicy and beautiful I would be. Now, before we get on to the list, I do want to throw a couple of thank yous out there for some suggestions that were thrown my way at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Because Heather T. suggested that I listened to The Tales from the Crypt Christmas album, which is amazing. I immediately became obsessed with it and I love it too because you definitely said it is not for everybody

you said on a side note not everyone will enjoy this album it can be pretty fucked up and is definitely not for small children but you know what it was for Jackie Zabrowski and I can't thank you enough I also want to send a quick shout out

to Charlie who sent Henry and I a savory fish pudding recipe because I don't know of you guys are aware, but for the LPN show last week, Henry duped me because we were doing a good pud. And he said, you should come over. I've got pudding. And we'll do a good putt episode. He didn't have good putt. He had no pudding. He had meat

sauce. He had cold meat sauce that he gave me as a savory pudding, quote unquote, which it was, it's not a savory pudding, it's meat sauce. But we ate cold meat sauce and did an episode of the LPN show, and Henry really wanted to do a savory fish pudding. So I just wanted to say, Charlie, thank you so much. We didn't make

the salmon moose, but we thought about it. Oh, God. All that. And by the way, just heat up the, why didn't you just heat up the sauce? You think he would heat it up, but he wanted to be a pudding. He wanted it to be like a gazpatch. And one last. I would just smacked him. I'd be like, I'm fucking

put it in English. I'm putting this in the microwave, psycho. It was meat sauce. Hey, maniac. I'm putting this in the fucking microwave for a minute. How about that? How about that? How about that?

And I also want to send a quick thank you to Christine, who sent in a picture of her as a young when her older cousin dated Mario Lopez. Now, last week, if you guys listened, we watched Holiday in handcuffs, and we had a lot to say. about Mario Lopez. And this beautiful soul, it was in the late 90s. They say, this pick is from the summer of 99,

and apparently Mario Lopez, incredibly nice. He let my little cousin and me hang out in his makeup trailer and had Looney Tunes' temporary tattoos ready for us. My brother got to be set security for the day with their regular

motorcycle security dude, just a really lovely guy, a very fun summer, and my, well, she also said, my all-time favorite outfit because she was wearing a very cute outfit in the picture. But he took a picture with, like, the cousins of the person he was dating. And I thought that was, you know what, we threw a lot of shade on Mario Lopez last week.

And I just want to say thank you for sending in this story because it did make me like, oh. Also, I did watch Felice Navidad, Jackie. How did you feel about it? It was rough. Yeah. No. I said my dad also a shirt that said Feliz Navi dad on it, and he really liked it. And everyone at the Publix liked it because he made everyone look at him, went,

Felice Navi, Dad. And he did that at every single person at the Publix. And they all loved it. But now it's time for the list. Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. We are doing actors who refuse.

to do the weirdest things. Now, we didn't get into this because we were talking about Hilaria Baldwin, but I found this list because Jeff and I have been rewatching all of the Batman's, including the animated Batman movies going on a bit. Oh, my God, we watched Batman Forever last night. It is definitely 40 minutes too long. But there was one of those movies that I watched 100 million times as a kid, and we were watching through all of them, and I found this list because in Batman Returns, Michelle

Pfeiffer claimed after it she would never put a bird in her mouth again. Because in watching it, it makes a lot of sense. Michelle Pfeiffer, as Catwoman, put a real bird inside of her mouth in that scene. And she realized later that she could have gotten a lot of diseases and that that was something that she would never do again. So, this is also fun, especially if you listen to our pop history that's coming out next week on the Razies. Yeah, we talk about Lilo quite a bit. And apparently, Lindsay Lohan won't kiss Charlie Sheen.

In this movie they were in together, which was, yes, scary movie five, they were both contractually obligated to be cold sore free when they filmed together or else Lindsay Lohan would not kiss him. What I think is so funny about this is that it makes it clear that not only did Lindsay Lohan say, hey, I won't kiss him unless he's cold sore free. But Charlie Sheen also said, I won't kiss her unless she's cold sore free, which I think is kind of... They're just both animals. They're just animals.

Yeah. And especially. Now, this made me think of you, Molly, because Molly sent us over the holliers about Kirk Cameron doing the openly won't wear a mask while they're doing it in no mask protestation while they were caroling. And Molly sent the article to us and was like, oh, well, at least what we said about Kirk Cameron was completely right because this is horrible. But also, Kirk Cameron will only kiss his wife on screen. He said he wouldn't kiss his on-screen wife unless his real wife, Chelsea Noble, subbed in for this brief silhouetted smooch in the movie Fireproof. He also had lots of issues with his character entertaining the idea of divorce.

Yikes. That means he cheats on his, I bet he cheats his wife constantly. I mean, that's what that is. I don't know. That's some Mike Pence, like how Mike Pence won't, like, have dinner with a woman unless it's his wife. Well, that and the fact, doesn't he call his wife mother, right? Isn't it that? Yeah, that's a whole other version of an unhealthy thing.

I bet you, I guarantee you if it wasn't like he cheated on her and then they worked through it, he just cheats on her all the time. Yeah, it just means you're so horny that you're like, if I even admit that I can be horny for somebody else, then the floodgates will open and I'll be so horny for everybody else that I'll never be able to put it back in the box. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's the same. It's the pastor, you know, condemning homosexuality and meth and then doing all of those things in a hotel room that night.

It is the same, it is one to one, please, people. Well, in the same way where I would never hold it against anyone like Denzel, Washington, who refuses to go topless in a movie. If you don't want to go topless, don't go topless. don't go topless. But it is, I feel, a little weird. So this is concerning the movie Mo Better Blues that Spike Lee tried to get Denzel Washington

to take off his top. But Denzel Washington said it would be unbecoming of a family man to take off his shirt. And that's really where it's like, if you don't want to take off a shirt, don't you get off a shirt. But unbecoming of a family man makes it like this weird issue of, but if a man takes off his shirt, then that means other things about him. Where I don't feel that it does.

I am also not, I don't feel the same prudish qualities about nudity or about what you wear. I do feel very differently about that. And I don't think it is unbecoming of any person to not have their shirt on, especially if they're getting paid for it. I think that it's even, I think it's even more okay. And I think it's more, it should be more encouraged. But maybe, you know, that's me. But it's also the reason why Denzel Washington, why Will Smith wouldn't kiss another man in six degrees of separation. So now Will Smith has said, I regret it now.

He said the decision was immature on my part. But he caved to peer pressure from Denzel Washington who told him, don't be kissing no man. Denzel two strikes. Two strikes. That's pretty reactionary on Denzel's part. Also, yeah, like to be like, oh, a family man can't have a shirt off. Come on now. It's just reactionary.

Going back to, that's like some Cosby shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which again makes me feel like you probably somewhere in there are a piece of shit privately. Yeah. Which if you are not aware of what Bill Cosby did to the, specifically the young actresses on the Cosby show of how they had to go a very specific line of what he allowed them to do and what he allowed them to be or else he would get them kicked off the show. Oh, and, you know, the whole thing with Eddie Murphy and telling him how to do comedy.

Yeah, he was all respectability politics. Pull up your pants and all of that, you know, all of that. Don't curse. Anybody who's like weird about cursing. It's just like, you know? It's like, it's one thing if it's like a, like a Seinfeld thing, like he doesn't curse in his act, but he doesn't care fucking other people curse in their act.

But like, when you're like, no one should curse, you're doing something with the blinds closed. Right. Or if it has to do with your definition of like being a man. And I get that like, you know, everyone has to like work through their own like things around masculinity. But right, if it's like, oh no, a man can't have his shirt off, a man can't kiss another man.

It's like, okay, Denzel. I think you need to be in therapy. Oh, it's also in how you come about it where I remember specifically when my mom would talk to me that not that she would be upset when I would curse, but she would tell me that she thought it was lazy when I cursed. She's like, can't you think of other words to say that it would eviscerate a person rather than cursing? She's like, I just think that you're smarter than cursing all the time. And there was something about that that changed my tune where you're like, you're right. Yes. I can be more creative with how I speak and not have to curse.

But that's how you do it. That's how you get someone to change. And in Jackie's case, sometimes like on the streams, it's not about saying curse words. It's about vigorously grabbing your breasts and jumping up and down. And you don't have to say a word. Speaking of grabbing my breasts, if you are listening to this and it is early in please come and join Holden and I for the cock and New Year's Eve stream that we will be doing on New Year's Eve from 9 p.m. Midnight E.T.

So a little bit later, we're starting when we usually stop Jakinese, but that's because we want to be with you guys through the ball drop. And we'll celebrate. So to go obviously a little past midnight, because we'll, of course, be singing the song that they sing about the old man. or whatever it is, and then, you know, clinking our glasses. Oh, my God. Can it be Old Langsign by Dan Fogelberg? See, I wanted to start this episode with the Old Leng Sign by Dan Fogelberg. Again, if you like sad, slow music, listen to Old Leng sign by Dan Fogelberg.

And the song starts off with, Met My old lover in the grocery store. The snow was falling Christmas Eve. and it's all about seeing someone that he used to love and going on the journey in their mind of where they have come since their love ended. But I will end this list right now with Robert Pattinson because I recently saw the movie Good Time

which please, please, please watch the movie Good Time with Robert Pattinson. If you are not like a stab of Robert Pattinson, you won't even recognize Robert Pattinson in this movie, but Robert Pattinson wouldn't touch a dog penis because in the scene, in the movie Good Time, whereas character is supposed to crank a dog's wanker, the director and the dog's trainer were trying to convince Robert Pattinson to do it for real. And Robert Pattinson refused. He said, I will do it, but I will do it on a prosthetic. I will not touch the dog like that.

makes me love him even more. Yeah, that's nice. He was in the right. He's completely in the right. And funny enough, Dinsel was willing to do that. Also, hilarious enough, guys, I think that I have lost enough vision that I think that I'm going. Blind.

Uh-oh. Blind. You got to be stupid me. I can't see them. Oh, the blinds. You got to love them. They come and they go, and they never blow. Sometimes they blow. but she never know.

Wow. Here's blind number one. The amount of cash this network is throwing at the three-named actress just for a past its prime reboot is astonishing. It is also about ten times the amount being offered to the other leads, minus the one who the three-named actress once killed off the show. It's not Sarah Jessica Parker? Yes. Who did they kill? They want to kill.

Who did she want to kill on the show? Yeah, Kim Katrall, right? Kim Katrall, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I guess she's going to be making 10 times more than Kristen Davis and Cynthia Nixon, but apparently HBO Max is pursuing a limited series with No Control, who spoke very publicly about not being interested in a third movie saying, I played it past the finish line and then some, and I loved it.

And another actress should play it and suggested it be a black or Hispanic actress to take her place. She's right again. Yeah, which I think is fine. Also, then why? Kill her off. make it like a Joker thing, she like falls in a vat of like green acid. You know what I mean?

Then she comes out and she's just like... I have been watching a lot of Batman. Yeah. I mean, it's... Kim Codrell is right because that horse is dead. It is dead. You're talking about Sarah Jessica Parker? Oh!

I love her. I made that joke about it. It was being a dead Sarah Joseph Parker. I love... I love sex in the city. And a confession, I don't know if I've made on the show, probably. is that every new year's, I watched Sex and the City won the movie because there's, like, a extended old leg sign sequence where she, on New Year's, she runs over to be with Miranda.

And so I just got in a weird habit of watching it every new year's. I love this. Yeah, I love that show, but it was a product of its time. There are certain episodes that need to be burned and never played again. and um oh yeah i feel like in another 10 years or so they could do a really cool like golden girl like they should actually just call it the remake of golden girls and have it just be golden sex in the city and i think that's what it should be that could be kind of cool like if they all say fuck it and end up in a you know home together without men and and just kind of doing their like

i think that could actually be fascinating but yeah i think we still need more time that bun needs to stay in the oven. Yeah. Or do a total, you know, kind of, I guess, new Say About the Bell style reboot of it where it's just like, let's actually acknowledge that this was like very, very nice and good, but also just 100% white and straight. And we could do like a version where it's like, you know, more people of color and queer people and trans people. And just, but that will, it's just, it's just, Kim Gretel is right. And I'm sorry. I'm always going to be Team Crichel on this one, even though... I get it.

Yeah. I just... I'm a Samantha. What can I say? I'm a Samantha. The problem is I still like Sarah Jessica Parker, though. So it's like, I feel like in my brain it's not an either or. I think that both of them really slammed heads against each other.

But you have to remember, they've been working together for now, generation. Of course there's going to be fucking issues. And Sarah Jessica Parker, career went in a very different place than Kim Cottrell said. Of course there's going to be issues between them. I don't know if I want to see the reboot. Yeah. I think that we can just leave it.

Leave it. But I will watch it if it's made. But I've never seen, I've seen Sex in the City one of the movie, like probably 20 times. I have never once seen two, and I won't. Apparently it's terrible. Because it's great. I think it's, yeah, I think it's very bad. Quite racist.

I've also never seen it. Yeah. Don't do it. Don't go to the Middle East. Just don't do a reboot in the Middle East. So some things just need to not be made. Absolutely. Here we go.

The second blind item. This next blind item is kind of almost like one of those not blinds. I just thought it was kind of cool because it's like opposite of what you normally hear. This back in the day, A-list tweener turned singer is in a magazine. this month topless and it was completely her idea and said she would only do the interview if they would publish topless photos of her.

A list tweener. Now big deal singer. Oh, so this is back in the day. Back in the day tweener, now big deal A list singer. Myri and Cyrus. Yeah, she recently posed Topless for the cover Rolex stone.

I literally, there wasn't a ton with the blinds that I just thought it was hilarious that she's like, I'm only doing it if I can be naked on that cover. I want to be naked. I want to be naked on it. That's kind of, that's pretty rock and roll.

I think that's pretty fun. I love her. I love her. I love her. I'm only doing it if you let my breast be front and center on that cover that thing. Fuck yeah. But either way. All right,

here's the final blind. I saw this A plus list mostly movie actor in Boston in 2009. I do not read your blog, but my friend does. And I'm willing to, and I'm ready. to you on her advice. I worked in the North End, basically Boston's Little Italy at the time, and the actor came

into my store, asked if we sold whole fish. I told him... No, this is different, guys. This is the same thing. I told him, no, we were a small shop. We only had a limited selection of fillets, and he became agitated, and asked if I knew where he could buy a whole fish. I directed him to a store around the corner, and he left in a huff.

It was weird and it happened so quickly I didn't have time to process it. Unbelievable. Jackie, imagine years and years and years ago, a decade ago, we were doing blind items and they were all about John Travolta and his massages on airplanes. And now here we are and now every blind item has to be about fucking Tom Cruise, fucking a fish.

It's so funny. It's so, so funny. I just, I can't also say thank you enough to, everyone that has written in about us trying desperately to come up with another reason of why? Well, I have one. I have one. This one's from Lauren, who wrote in to the page 7 podcast atch email.com. I was talking to my husband about the Tom Cruise blind items, says Lauren, and how he has sex with fish in the bathrooms and grocery stores, and he had an interesting theory.

What if Tom Cruise is self-conscious about the smell of his shit? So if he has to poop in public He tries to cover the smell with a fish I personally want to believe he's fucking them But thought I would throw it out there But actually now that I think about it There was that one blind item where he was very anxious Inside of the car

And so that wasn't a pooping in public thing And then the bodyguard ran out with the whole fish And he was incredibly excited to receive the fish I feel like that almost made to spell the poop theory But it is a good theory It is a good theory I like the theory I enjoy the theory

I think that it is fun in the same way that I talked at length with Henry and Natalie about this theory of that. I mean, Henry does seem to think that it makes a lot more sense for it to be a Scientology-based ritual of sorts. Right. I think it might be a weird ritual thing. Yeah. I also love, I believe, as someone wrote in talking about maybe he's not. fucking the mouth of that fish maybe fucking the butt of that

fish. I don't know where the butt is on a fish. I gather you can fuck any part of you can make a hole in a You can make a hole anywhere. I don't think that we need to specify which parts of the fish is fucking. You're rubbing your dick against the fish. Well, maybe I'm just saying

that maybe we are quick to assume that he's putting his penis inside of the hole that is in the front of the face of this fish and I, you know what, I say God bless it. I wish that the fish would give consent, but I guess I'd rather him do that than it be towards some, like, a human being

that doesn't consent. It's just, it's, I'm telling you, it may sound like, oh, like, oh, I guess stuff like this comes in all the time, but like, it never does. And the fact that there are continuous stories about it, you never, I never see that with the blind items. Like, maybe, you know, I see like a lot of updates. on the Johnny Depp Amber Heard thing, yes, but like to this degree of, oh my God, I also was in a shop.

And this same weird as fuck thing happened with this specific actor. It's kind of mind-blowing. It really is just like the genre like plain beeges that were going on, but this is with a fish. And it's in bathroom. It's way juicier because I guess it's way less potentially problematic. It's a man fucking a fish. I mean, I guess if you believe in fishes, right, Pate is probably pissed off about it. this, but...

Yeah, I mean, I would say, you know, I don't think that, at least in most of the John Trae, blind items, the person that he was having sex was consenting. Okay, yeah, I wasn't there for that stuff. I don't know if it was, you know, collusion at all. I do think it's not great to fuck a dead fish in terms of, I don't even... Why? Why not? It's a victimless crime.

The fish is already dead? Is it... Yes, the fish is already dead. I will also say that multiple people came out, and I remember that we talked about Tom Cruise with the screaming about the mask on Mission Impossible 7, that it does seem that it was a PR thing that he did. That it was horrible.

I mean, I imagine he's upset because he also does want to make as much money as possible, but it does seem that it was a PR move for him to be recorded while. yelling at everyone for not. That would make sense because all my blinds were like the opposite of that leading up to it where it's like he acts like the mask is a thing but then he doesn't follow up. Like it was kind of like a lot of that stuff kind of before this. Yeah. Where he's, yeah, so I can see that.

He's trying to win us over because we're all finding out about his fish fuckery. Because he has sex with fish. And well, if there's a way to ring in the new year, it's that. Tom Cruise has sex with fish. If everyone who wears a mask also fucks fish, then, you know, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I don't usually, but, you know, sometimes, man, oh, when their lips are flapping, it gets me going. On that note, I think that we got to end the episode. There it is.

I can see again. Quaintance be for God and never He fucks the fishes that he buys the fishes that he buys and leaves them in the trash Thank you guys for joining us in this horrible year that we have experienced together It has to get better. We have built a beautiful community. Thank you for being here with us. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can also ring in the new year with beautiful Holden and myself for a cock in New Year's Eve. If you go to twitch. TV forward slash Holdenatorsho on New Year's Eve at 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Hell yeah. Send your emails in. Obviously, we're reading them and using them in our show. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

Page the number 7 podcast at gmail.com. And of course, as you already mentioned, Twitch.com forward slash hold nater. So patreon.com forward slash page 7th podcast again. How nifty is that, Molly? My name is Molly. My new year's resolution is to be in person in the same room with you guys in 2021. Okay. You can follow me on Instagram at MJK.

K-L-Kat. I love it. We love you guys. Have a great New Year's. We'll see you in the New Year. You remember? That's what we said. See you next year.

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