Page 7 - Ep. 388: Tsunami 6: Land vs Sea

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

We goss about the streaming platforms we refuse to pay for, Chrissy Teagan's tone-deaf flexing and in celebrity conspiracy corner: does Demi Lovato have a secret twin sister?!?!?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

a sad one this week, but it goes out to you, Molly. When I wake up in a morning and the alarm gives out a warning, I don't think I'll ever make it on time. By the time I've read my books and I give my self a look at the corner of the time, I'll see the bus, blah, bye. It's a...

Or sometimes you're saved by the death bell. Yes, that is how I chose to start page 7 this week. That's what I said. That's what I said, and I refuse to take it back. Welcome to page 7, and Screech is dead. Did you guys see Screech died? You know, I think it's a testament to me just arriving in L.A.

I think it was the blood offering that had to be delivered for my arrival to the great state of California. I don't think he lives here anymore. I'm pretty sure he lives in the Midwest. But, yes. But still, he's such an L.A. I mean, come on, he did the whole L.A. tour. He was on a TV show as a child actor. He did porno, sort of. He sold t-shirts to pay off his mortgage for his house.

I mean, it's an L.A. tale from beginning to end. It is a sad L.A. tale. And I did immediately think of you, Molly. And what's really horrible, I'm going to throw this out there, guys. I heard that Dustin Diamond passed away. And I was like, well, I guess, like, isn't it for the best? Because in my brain, I always thought that he was. was a bad guy. And I feel like the zeitgeist has told me that he's a bad man. And I started

looking into his life and I was like, I was wrong. And I apologize because his life is actually very sad. It's very sad. I was trying, I was going through a very similar process. I am very grief-stricken. This is like, the single show I watched the most was say by the the bell. But yeah, like, I was like going through this weird mix, like the complicated mix of emotions when a celebrity dies and you like have a lot of positive feelings for them, but also you're like, I think maybe they might have been bad. Like, you know, like that kind of thing. And I was trying to navigate this. And I was trying to figure out. We need a new word for that. I feel like there's Chadenfreude. We need a word for how do I feel

because I never want to be like, yay, somebody's fucking dead. Of course. But also there's in between of like, are we, are we upset? How do we feel? How am I supposed to frown? Am I supposed to? What is that feeling? What is the name of that? Right.

The thing that like if a very bad celebrity dies like somebody who we know is a predator or something, then, you know, you don't dance on their grave, but you also are like, yeah, you know, whatever. And in this case, I was like, is, why do I have the, I was exact the same as you, Jackie. I was like, why do I feel like Dustin Diamond is like a bad man? And I know we've talked about him on the show a lot. And I think the things I landed on, the reasons to think that he is like the things that he might have actually needed to be held to account for. Because like, stabbing a man in a bar fight in the Midwest, I mean, it's not kind of fun, but it's like, I don't really care about that.

Like, it's kind of happens sometimes. And I will say he was apparently defending his fiance who had just been punched in the face. Not that there was any excuse for violence. What was the lead up, though? Who knows? She seems to be a brawny human being. I will say. She could probably take a punch.

Go for her. I got a very punchable face too. And I can also take a punch. Please don't punch me. I'd rather not. But, you know, eh. I remember that story at the time. And I remember just thinking how wonderful it would be to retro.

Because the person who was stabbed, you know, survived and it was fine. And I remember thinking how hilarious it would be to retroactively realize you had been stabbed by Screech. Like if you didn't realize it was happening at the time. Like you go to the hospital. I've been stabbed. What happened? It turns out that was Samuel Screech Powers. But I think that the main thing that he did that actually was potentially bad or controversial,

but not in the like, not like me too bad, just like bad was that his like tell-all about saved by the bell was just like full of lies. And like sex lies. Like it like lies about who was fucking. And yeah. And then everyone was like, don't do that. His cast members like kind of hate him too.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And he wasn't asked back for the revival. It seems like he was a bit of a like a pranky menace. Like one of those kind of like someone I don't think I'm like a George Clooney. Like a George Clooney. Well, no.

I think he's. No. I think he's more of a classy pranky menace. And I think that there's a difference between, I know not a whole lot of differences between Screech and George Clooney. We are compared constantly. But in this instance, I think a little bit different. And he was younger than everyone else by like a lot.

I think everything I know about him I've learned on this show. So I know we have, like, he was younger. And I think that he like really struggled to fit in because they were all like actual teenagers or older. And he was like 13 or whatever. And so he, like, I think he probably developed like a super obnoxious little brother posture that then, like, didn't age well as he got older. And it also seems like a little bit of like a little rascals curse situation where like the kind of classic, like, you are a child actor and on like an incredibly iconic famous thing. And then you're just absolutely fucked and you can never crawl your way out of it. And every bad thing that happens to you gets amplified by like 250 times.

and that way it does seem like very, very tragic. I will say what is also tragic is the name of the porn that he made, that his face stars in but his cock does not star in. The name of it is screech saved by the smell. And that truly disgust me, you guys, to know how I feel about the word stinky. I don't like it. And the idea of that just immediately makes me think of,

Imagine, you know, have you ever spent maybe not an evening, but a couple of minutes with someone that when they take their pants off, you can smell it from across the room? That's what I think about. That's what I think about. Grundle, you know what I mean? Yeah, I said the word grundle. Did you think you were going to hear it today? Probably not. I mean, I was reading Beow up earlier, so I heard the word grindle.

But I did not think I would hear the word grundle today. Yeah, what do you know? You want some Fremunda cheese? Still one of the most disgusting things you could ever say to a person. Yeah, it's Fremunda. Remember? You guys know. Yeah.

It's Fremanda. I have never heard the Fremanda cheese thing. That is unnecessary. Yes. I always felt like it was something like, like, Rassland boys would talk about. Was that they would say, like, you want some Fremanda cheese? And then they would, like, put, like, try and, like, shove your head up underneath. their dicks, right?

Isn't that what you guys do? Holden, is that what happens? You're thinking at docking where you, a man uses his circumcised penis and allows the other man with his uncircised penis to sort of put the skin over it to, it's like, makes it look like a Chinese finger trap a little bit. Excuse me? Oh, those are silly, though. You've never heard of docking, Molly?

I, I have not heard of docking, no. Docking's a new fun thing where you sort of put the penises together. I don't think it's new. When you say you do it. But who are we talking about? Are we talking about people who are about to fuck? Are we talking about best friends? Oh, best friends who are about to fuck.

Okay. Yeah, or like a party trick. Like, remember puppetry of the penis? I knew so many people that were doing. They would see the puppetry of the penis special. And then they would try and do puppetry of the penis. I remember one time this guy was like, oh, I could do puppetry of the penis. He took out his cock and then put it inside of a, the whole of a water bottle.

his flaccid penis inside and shoved it. And then we're like, I don't think that's puppetry. I think that that is just... That's a demonstration of how shitty your penis is. Well, you know, it's not... It's the motion of the ocean. We all know that. But his motion of the ocean...

Let's say there weren't any hurricanes around. Right. Let's say it was a pretty flat, flat sailing going on out in those oceans. But you remember puppetry of the penis. I feel like everyone was obsessed with that, but maybe I just... That was back when real sex was king. Taxi cab confessions was queen. I mean, it was a different time.

God, it was the best of times and it was the worst times. I will. I still dream of getting into... In the same way that someday I hope I get into a cash cab, I do always... Even though we all know Taxi Cab Confessions is all lies. But what if it's not? What if you got in? guy wanted to know all of your secret confessions, and then you get to have sex in the back

of the cab with a person of your choosing as long as you consent. But isn't that kind of fun? Very fun. Very fun. So Dustin Diamond, sole and T-shirt. Where is celebrity discussion? Can't believe we got to Dix and... Docking. Dick, dick finger traps. I am in a different... I'm, we just, Henry and I just interviewed Kevin Gillespie for the LPN show, and he's this very attractive chef from Top Chef. So I'm all like weird, horny, but also hungry right now because we talked about a lot of food. So I'm just in a weird headspace right now, and I'm looking at Dustin Diamond. So then my immediately, it just dries up, like I put a bunch of brawny down yon. And so it's a weird,

like I'm having a bit of a struggle. inside of my brain. I also feel like it's, it's, uh, the fact that this, you know, the tragedy of Dustin Diamond, um, you know, being so young and, and now everybody talking about him and thinking about him when also this new saved by the bell is out.

It all just feels a little bit too, it feels a little bit too much like a Save by the Bell episode, if you will. Are you calling the death of Dustin Diamond a publicity stunt, no, I think I'm calling it like a, like a, like a B-Py, plot. Like, if the A plot is the release of the new Save by the Bell, which, again, everyone says is so good. I haven't brought myself to watch it because I really have maybe even stronger emotions about that. No, my emotions about the death of Screech are stronger, but a lot of strong emotions. And so that's the A plot. B plot is the tragic death of Dustin Diamond. And what is the

sea plot. Steve Urkel's, the guy who played Steve Urkel's gonna die. Don't say that. He's gonna fall into a volcano on a trip to Hawaii. It has to be in the Save by the Bell universe. Something is going to, something good, hopefully, will happen with one of the, with maybe Lark Voorhees. She's also, she's the sea plot because remember we've talked about her on the show too,

Lisa Turtles, Screech's love interest. His, his, his, also, the Screech and Lisa had the hardest path out. compared to the rest of them. And I'm including Elizabeth Berkeley in that. Whoa. I was about to say, I think the C plot is showgirls too. The C plot is showgirls too. Oh, my God.

I'll watch it. I would that it were. Oh, man. I won't watch it. But no, you know what I think the C plot is going to be is watching how the Save by the Bell reboot uses his death to their advantage when they didn't ask him to be a part of it? That's what I unfortunately think the C plot is going to be.

And doesn't that suck? Yeah, it's going to be like a bit of a Riverdale Luke Perry situation. At least in Riverdale, they had, like, Fred Andrews was a big part of the show. Right. So when Luke Perry passed, like, it makes sense that these things, because Holden, you're not a Riverdale fan, but just so you know. Maybe I am, and you don't even know it, but whatever you get going. You would have talked to me about it at this point.

You would have wanted your accolades for watching a show that I know that you would love. My accolades. But, so Archie is still really upset because Daddy's dead. And he's got a lot of issues with that. But I feel like they're going to bring that into the Save by the Bell reboot. I'm already upset about it. Like, is there a screech counterpart? Like, does everybody have a counterpart on the show?

In other words, like the cast of kids? I'm not have to watch this fucking character. Because I feel like that's how they would address it probably through the nerd character. Yeah. It's a good question. I guess I'm going to have to report back. Watch it and come back and tell us about your experience. Yes, you will.

I'll do it. Yay, yay. Since I'm thinking about saved by the bell constantly anyway, this week, I may as well watch the one on Peacock. It's an app. I'm going to have to, I don't know how to even watch new television. It's on Peacock. Never mind then. Never watched it.

Yeah, I thought it was on Netflix. Peacock makes me, why does Peackeye? I think it's the name of it, of the service. It makes me so just angry, just flames on the side of my face. like angry about it. I don't know. It's like crackle has the same thing. Voodoo.

I had to watch. What was the, it was a share movie that I had to watch. You had to watch, I think that you watched, no, it wasn't moonshrunk,

Mermaids. Mermaids. I was furious. I just kept going, Voodoo! I have to use Voodoo! What even is? Voodoo!

And just saying the word, every time I said it, I said it more angrily because it's really, honestly, very enjoyable to angrily say the word I don't understand these people who come up with streaming service names. They're all horrible besides like, I mean, Hulu is also terrible.

They're like, we should come up with something like Hulu. Let's name it. Voo. Like, it just makes me so furious. All of the names are so. And Crackle, too, is just the most obnoxious name. But Peacock, I think his peacock's like, we're so fancy and we're so special. And we're going to make you look at our plumage.

It's just NBC. God damn it. Yeah, just call it NBC. Just call it the NBC fucking streaming thing. Yeah, NBC stream. Yeah. But alas. See, this is a problem.

I feel like this is the new thing. We hit the part of pandemic where I refuse. Same with Discovery Plus. Every time I look at Discovery Plus, and I'm like, you know what? I like all the shows in it. It's got the Food Network. It's got TLC.

It's got all the things that I want. And I refuse to pay for it. it. I have so many other things. But again, listen to me. Remember when I got excited about getting a AAA membership yesterday, Holden I thought of you because I opened up my mail. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, look at how, look at all the, you know what, Jeff, I really appreciate it because Ralph's, which is the grocery store, is really like looking at the things that we're purchasing and sending us coupons. And isn't that so fun? And he looked at me and I was like, Aren't these coupons fun?

Aren't they fun coupons? Coupons cannot be fun. No, Jackie, even though yes, I'm getting free sun chips. I don't even have to buy anything to get them. Free sun chips. But they're not fun. They're not fun coupons. You can't call them.

If I start going down the fun ponds, I don't know what to do with myself. I already have been making more compons for Jeff, and he doesn't need any compounds because we've got the time. It's not like we have to set aside an experience so we can have sex. Yeah, like, fun is an activity. A concert is fun. That could be fun. A roller coaster is fun.

Fun. But when you start calling inanimate objects like a chair or a hat or a door fun, a hat can be fun. God damn it. A hat can be fun. I'll tell you I can be fun. Don't take that from us,

Holden. Please. Just don't call furniture's off limits. I'm sorry. You can't, just don't call any furniture fun

unless it is a bounce house. This from the guy who wrote a song about how he wants to sit on a chair made an air. I was like,

in time. It was like it was a different time. That seems like you think furniture could be pretty fun. I still have to get that for you guys.

I want to sit in a comfortable Well, Jared's a chair. It's made out of it. We just read. We can remake it, Holden. We've got the time now. You're here.

We do have the time. And I do have. And Jackie's been picking up ukulele lately. She's going through her Zoe Deschinell phase, which everybody wants Jackie to go through that phase right now. You wish. You wish. I don't have the fingers for it. We're starting a band together.

It's called him and her. Aw. That's kind of cute. Good old. We've already put out three Christmas albums, so don't worry about that. And we're going to put out four Thanksgiving albums. And they're all about how I hate it when the snow melts, right, Molly? Holden got out right before the snowstorms.

How fun is that, Molly? I'll tell you what's really fun right now, New York City sidewalk. What do they call the curb cuts, the place where the sidewalk meets the street, where you're supposed to cross the street. Curb detentions, I believe they're called in New York. I like to, what I like to do is picture myself as a kind of John Claude Van Dam figure because then you back up. This really only works on the first day of the snow before it gets all sludgy,

but the first day of the snow when there's just massive like four foot piles of snow that had been plowed, you know, towards the sidewalk and then the sidewalk shoveling has been plowed towards the street. So there's the big mountain. You got to take a, you got to back up and then you got to take a running leap. So you run to get your momentum up to go over the mountain. And then luckily you're just plunging full speed into the street. Potentially moving traffic.

And traffic that has no control over how to stop because the snow is everywhere in the street also. Momentum is everything. At certain points you literally just have to go forward until it's over. And then, yeah, you keep going forward because then you've got to keep the momentum for the mountain right across the street that you also have to launch yourself over. And instead, you guys are just going to be over here talking about like hanging out. in your outdoor spaces and how nice the weather is and stuff. And I'm going to have to stop exclusively using Eastern Standard Time when we plan our meetings

because I'm going to have to accept the fact that Jackie had lived in L.A. for a long time and now Holden lives there too. And we should speak in L.A. time, whatever they call that. It's a nightmare. I know. I always, I still have to do the addition subtraction. And I always have, and I'm just like, it always worries me around once once we hit 2 p.m. And I'm like, is it 11?

Is it 12? Who knows? But I'm not as angry about our new times, which is, like, am about the debacle that was Groundhog's Day this year. You guys, we cannot stand for this. When Facebook Live lies to us about it being live when it's not live. It's not. And they can't have anyone watch and look at the Groundhog. And how do they know?

And they're all liars. It's all a lies game. I am laughing. I spent so much time, like a cumulative total of at least five full minutes on and off, maybe 10 full minutes on and off laughing about in the email that Jackie sent us. She wrote, Staten Island Chuck, more like Staten Island, fuck. And I could not stop laughing. I just wonder, the thing that makes me mad about this story is literally just that.

If we've already been through enough. So in the, it was pre-taped this video, not live. And the funniest part about it was because everyone knew, because everyone knew that there were feet of snow outside at the time of its supposed live recording. It was like this beautiful sunny day in the recording. But it was the fact that if you're already going to fake it, Can you just say that he didn't see his fucking stupid shadow?

Can you just say we don't have to have extra weeks of winter in 2021? I mean, come on. This is where my question comes from. So we are talking about the thing that I saw on page six that was talking about how everyone's upset because it was supposed to be snowy outside. They are talking about Staten Island Chuck. They are not talking about Puxatoni Phil because they did have the yearly ritual at Gobbler's Knob, like they do every year.

But Puxetani Phil said that there is going to be... Well, I screw him up. Which one said which? They're both groundhogs, right? One said one, and the other one said the other one. Declaring that there would be six more weeks of winter. Okay, so the fake one did say there wouldn't be six more weeks of winter. Oh, okay.

How dare you say the fake one? apologize. I want to apologize to page seven listeners. I want to apologize to Groundhogs everywhere. I want to apologize to Staten Island, even though a lot of you guys have some issue political opinions. We'll get to that later, Staten Island. My dad is from Staten Island, thank you very much. And he has some issue political opinions. Yeah, that from what I know about it, he at least voted properly. All right, I will say, we will be voted properly this time. You know who else should apologize to groundhogs is Mayor de Blasio who years ago, never forget, killed a groundhog on

Groundhog's day by dropping it and it later died. And then he covered it up. It's not okay. And my question is, are we at all allowed to find that funny? Are we on any level? It's very sad for the Groundhog. This story always makes me sad, but it's, but it is every, everything else about it is hilarious. It's just very sad to think about the ground.

And the other guy got bit, right? They should stop doing the statin things. The other guy got bit in the year, right? Bloomberg got bit, yeah. On his finger. On his finger. which that I applaud groundhogs everywhere. That's a jiff right there for all time.

Yeah, that was fantastic. That was an interaction between a groundhog and a mayor that went well for everybody because I support the groundhog biting Bloomberg. The subsequent mayor killed a groundhog, and it is tragic, but hilarious at the same time. So is there like a rivalry between the groundhogs? I guess there are. think so, right? Because everyone, as established in this very conversation, everyone thinks that Staten Island Chuck is like, you know, the, the Heathcliff. A lion's bastard? Yes. The Heathcliff

to Pennsylvania's Garfield, if you will. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, Molly. I like what you said. I like what they said. I appreciate what they said, and I, you will not take it back. Oh, so yeah. Then I'll, okay, cool. And I'm a New York dude through and through. So yeah, I'm glad. I stand with mine. By the way, also, apparently there's a roaming gang of squirrels in the mix as well that sort of like to kind of choose their groundhog depending, and they sort of start little, small little fires between factions. So that's another.

I'd love to watch them duke it out. Oh, how cute of a little revolution it would be. Some say the trees will come alive in 2025 and join the war between the groundhogs. Can I finally have sex with an end? That's all I want. I would have sex with an end so bad. Okay. Patent pending alert.

No listeners stake this idea because we have to do it. But, okay, guys, the three of us, next time we can get together, we'll have a writer's retreat. And we obviously have to write like a Pixar style film about the rivalry slash friendship between Punksitani, Phil, and Staten Island truck. It's so obvious. I can't believe it hasn't been done already. Oh, my God. Like Romeo and Julian. Yeah.

Like it's, but it's. They're all cute little, fat, animated, little fuzzy, you know. And that's the thing, and that's how they fall in love at the end. They go, I can see your shadow. Oh, my God. And then they kiss. And they keep a little kiss. Yeah, you see the shadow.

The love song's playing. You just see the shadow just humping on itself because they're fucking. They eventually unite together against the enemy figure, which is obviously the mayor of New York City. The man, whatever current mayor at the time Any mayor always famous. And what's a predator of maybe like an animal gets elected for the first time ever in New York City So it's like a what would be a predator to a groundhog

Like a lioness Yes Is it a dolphin? I'm a dolphin of that troll camera Land and sea Land and sea And it's Versus C I see and the dolphin is like

I am electing the ocean as the governor and everyone's like, no, no, it'll cause a tsunami and kill us. And the groundhogs take over. You know, the weed's really good here in L.A. And it's never more legal than before. This is even more of a reason we have to write this movie. It would come out on February 2nd.

It's a great time to release an animated movie because it's winter and everyone wants a new movie for their kids. I can't believe what a good idea this is. It's fantastic. All right, done. We'll start working. on it, land versus C. We'll call it tsunami six,

Land versus C. That's awesome. And then we can do five prequels. I love that, going back in time of like derivory. I feel like we've lost, I feel like Land versus C has to be the sequel. That's like Groundhog Day 2, Land versus C. The sequel, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Thank you. Two books. Why are we so good at building franchises and why have we not been given a million dollars yet? I don't know why they're scared. You know what they're scared. That is why. Yeah.

They're scared of our power. It's too good. We just built like four franchises. Just think, guys, I'm already on the film with someone about an amusement park in Seattle. I could feel it. I could feel how fast you were on that. Almost as fast as we're going to be on. Sorry, that's me choosing where I'm going to go next.

Because, yeah, we're going to talk about. Elvis Presley for a second. Yes, this is what we're talking about. We're going to talk about fucking Elvis Presley and the polio vaccine, because that's what you were hoping to hear about today, from Munda cheese and polio. I have a counterpoint to this article's point, but go on, Jackie, please. So, like, back in the dizzy, there was Elvis.

And there was a little fun thing. Yes, there were two things. There was a surfboard movie, there was polio, and there was Elv. And it was a fun time to be alive or so I've heard. Now, the thing is that people were scared of getting the vaccine. So what did they do? They had Elvis Presley get the polio vaccine and be like, oh, oh, I'm a good. It is a good for your body.

And that's what he said. All right, so I'm going to pitch a new podcast concept. It's literally just Jackie trying to find the article or like waiting for it to load and vamping. It's just called Jackie Vamps. And it's you just filling space. Why are you waiting while you try to find the thing you're looking for me is the funniest content on the show? If you listen to my reading of Twilight, you will hear lots of that because it happens a lot. I live to vamp, and yes, I make the vamp joke because there's vampires in it.

How many times I've made the joke. Everybody loves to hear the joke. And so people are saying that we need the new Elvis because everybody who's anybody is actually scared of getting the vaccine and not because we can't and not because I'm looking every other hour to see. when I will be able to go get the vaccine. It's because I need Beyonce to get the vaccine before I get the vaccine. All right. So here's my counterpoint. We were literally just talking about this right before the show began.

That this is like one of the worst years ever, I think, to come off as a celebrity. And I think that that is what, like, people actually listened to celebrities back then because they didn't have an eye into their entire life and they couldn't go on, let's say, Twitter and complain about like being trapped in their gigantic mansion. And this is the problem I think we're facing right now is like, what is the Elvis that could convince people when the people that need to be convincing hate that culture? You know what I mean? Yes.

Yeah, I think that if anything, it would have to be like a massive, I don't know, TikTok campaign or something, not to sound like an old person, but there isn't like a hierarchy of celebrities right now. It's more of a democratized groundswell up from the youth. But also no one under the age of 16 is allowed to apply to get the vaccine. Right, exactly. So it's like, oh, and so we go, what are you talking about? Why are there so many people that are so out of touch of what is happening right now?

It's like, what do you mean? We're not waiting around for Beyonce to get the vaccine. That's not what's happening. I'm sure there are plenty of anti-vaxxers who like Beyonce, but I feel like that's also like misunderstanding. It's not that there's like, it's not that there's like masses of, of regular people who like love Beyonce but don't want the vaccine.

Most people want the vaccine. As you pointed out, Jackie, it's just that there is, it's very hard for even people who are eligible to get it. And a lot of people aren't eligible yet and want it desperately. And so it's like, I feel like if, really if you want to target the end,

I mean, there's a lot of different groups. It actually weirdly needs to be like a Q style. drop on Facebook in a bad group. Yes, exactly. That's exactly what I was like, you need to like, like, aside from, like, yeah, if we're really talking about like the, the, you know, really crazy people who don't want the vaccine,

like it needs to be like, you need to start, yeah, figuring out how to get that shit in message boards or something. There needs to be some sort of covert operation to make people, they're not going to be like, oh, Beyonce, you know. We have to trick Russia into thinking that, If America got the vaccine, it would be bad. Yes. I think there's got to be ways to manipulate.

They're already manipulating all the bullshit out there. It is just, I just think it's very funny that if they start taking money and putting it into some sort of celebrity campaign, I'm going to flip the fuck out. I just, I can't even, this story made me so. I was like, this is what we're worrying about. Imagine all the vaccines. Celebrities have been. with this so poorly because they've already had such a better experience than everybody else publicly, super just out there being like Chrissy Teigen got a horse, make the Imagine video, all these people complain about quarantine. They'll sing imagine while they're getting their vaccines even though they shouldn't be allowed to get them yet. I think that's what we really need. And Molly was just saying, was just talking to us about Chrissy Teigen writing a tweet talking about how. she got a $13,000 bottle of wine.

And isn't that like crazy? So annoying. We didn't even finish the bottle of wine. $13,000. Yeah. And, you know, right. So she's trending today Wednesday because she had this tweet that was like, it started with a, it was like an innocent question.

Like, what's the worst thing you've ever ordered or whatever that you didn't? I should find the initial tweet. But anyway, it was, she said one time John and I were at a restaurant and the waiter recommended a nice cabernet. We got the bill and it was $13,000. How do you casually recommend that wine? We hadn't even finished it and it had been cleared. And what's fun is a lot of restaurant workers are responding and being like, it is awesome that that restaurant worker just was like, I'm going to get a really awesome tip from you guys this way. You know, it's whatever. Chrissy Teigen, there's a lot of things to like about her. She gets unfairly piled on a lot,

certainly, but this particular, this is, yeah, so her first tweet was, what's the most expensive thing you've eaten that you thought sucked? And I just want to say that this, I think she's trying to be fun, like, let's start a fun conversation. What's the most expensive thing you've eaten? But when you are the richest person in the conversation, a conversation about what's expensive isn't a fun conversation. Right. No. It's just, it's just a little bit tone deaf because people are out here really struggling and hearing about your $13,000 bottle of, wine and how you didn't feel like paying for it, but you certainly could. People haven't been able to pay rent for six months.

It's just a little rough out there for celebrities right now because they don't know how to talk to people. And I think we were just complaining about it, and I feel like they feel the same way we do, but they just have a ridiculous other way of reacting to it. But we were all just bitching about how like, when will this just be over? We just wanted to be over now. I'm so sick of dealing with this. And so I think very, very.

much so it's like uh and then their way is the same thing like when can i just be a fun celebrity again that talks about expensive bottles of wine and it's like i know i get it we we all would love a reality where you talking about an expensive bottle of wine was not a blip on the radar because everybody was generally doing it right is not enraging to everyone yeah 100% right yeah i mean celebrities should be advocating for um for you know positive change more than anyone so that if everybody's baseline is okay, then you can talk about your horse and your $13,000 bottle of wine

without enraging everyone. And so, yeah, that's really a rising tide does lift all boats in that sense. Yes, and that's why, oh, thank God, that we have someone so down to earth as a Ben Affleck leading the way, Duncan Donuts, ambassador himself, that is the coffee of the every person,

and everybody knows it, anyone can enjoy their time at Dunkin' Donuts, regardless of how much money you have. I went down a bit of a warm time with Ben Affleck with the Dunkin' Donuts thing. Okay? I went down. I definitely said this and I'm going to be open about it. I definitely walked past his house this weekend. And I did yell out America, or that I did yell out.

Affleck runs on Duncan. And that's fine. It was very difficult to walk up that hill. And I was out of breath, so he wouldn't have been able to understand what I was saying anyway. And that's about it. It goes back for a very long time, though.

And I want you guys to know that. He apparently is not paid by Dunkin' Donuts. I'm trying to find out the truth, though. It says that he's not, but how can he? He's been saying for forever. Like Dunkin' Donuts has been involved in everything that he does. How is he not getting paid by them? We all know it's not the, it's mostly watered down.

I appreciate your investigative journalism here, Jackie, because Jackie said like six or seven links going back years about how long. Many of them repeated the same quote from Ben Affleck too. That he has it every day. He says, I have Dunkin' Donuts every day. He said, it's very weird. I have it every day. People are always like, where is that?

Is that near here? So I feel like I'm spreading the word, which, oh, good, Ben Affleck, because if there's one thing nobody knows is that you can't just spit and find a Dunkin' Donuts within your spit radius. Yes, that quote, where is that? Is that near here? It's the most pathological. Yeah, that perhaps sets him apart even more than. Chrissy Teagan's $13,000 bottle of wine thing

because it means that if that is a true thing, it means that the people he's talking to are so fucking rich that they don't know what Dunkin' Donuts is? Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Where is that? There is a Dunkin' Donuts everywhere. Talking about it.

Why would you say that? Why is that in the story you tell? Why wouldn't you say... I was because LA is known for having a just constant amazing donut shops that are all over the city and incredible, just on top of the whole fact that Dunkin Donuts is also definitely everywhere here. Yeah. I mean, it's just like, if you're going to tell a story about how you like Dunkin' Donuts coffee

and you always drink it, why is part of the story you're going to tell, everyone always asks me, where is that? What is, like, why not just say, yeah, everyone knows me and my coffee. Yeah, like Dunkin' Donuts coffee. It's made up. It's a lie. I will say kudos to Vulture, which Vulture really gets in there, because Vulture wanted to find out if every Dunkin' Donuts knows how Ben Affleck likes his coffee. And the thing is, they do.

It's just iced coffee with a shitload of sugar is what they said. So how many of those is he have in the day? And the fact that it is something that corporate lets people know. in case he comes in so that he could just, he doesn't even have to say a word. He can effortlessly get his iced coffee. You don't look at him. You get him iced coffee.

Does he pay for it? Who knows? Does he have the app like us regular schmose? Or does he not even need the app? I don't know. But now I'm just, I'm truly invested in this and I hate it. We're going to get to the bottom of it. You know, the things like,

Do Pucks Satani Phil and Staten Island Chuck have a rivalry? Is Ben Affleck really actually being paid by Dougan donuts? These are the things we find out for you here on page seven. No, we might never really find out, but sometimes we will talk about it. And isn't that what we're here for? 100%. Can I get some share? Do you believe in?

that Demi Lovato has a secret twin sister. That's right. Here is the theory. On October 3rd, 2015, a sketch of Demi Lovato was posted by a Tumblr user alongside a washed out overly lit fan photo, most likely taken at a red carpet event. The lighting is bad,

and it kind of makes her look like she's got a shaved head with a sort of Mohawk, and the drawing is even worse. After two weeks and 75,000 notes the post it was deleted under mysterious circumstances. Here's Rick, it's weird. A week later, the photograph was again posted to Tumblr this time by a different user who wrote Demi's twin sister.

She was locked in a basement her whole life. This picture was taken the first time she went outside. Her name is Poot. This led to a slew of Pout memes and even a lady named Kaylee Marie Todd posting fan fiction titled The Secret Life of Pout Lavato. Pout has been attributed to some of Lovato's past indiscretions, especially one incident in which she was accused of flicking a fan's vagina at a meet and greet.

Okay, apparently that was Pute, her secret twin sister. The evidence against, there is no evidence against this theory. I mean, it's pretty clearly an internet running joke, but even Demi Lovato finally embraced the whole thing in 2017 by posting a jift to Twitter of Pute confirming that she is down to clown. So what do you guys think? Is Poo to Real? Wow.

Yes. Wow. That quickly, Jackie? That quickly. Well, I do see that she immediately, that Demi Lovato was immediately upset about it. But then since she has now accepted it, and I think that, you know what, Poo's out there. And why can't Poot be real? Maybe Pooke's just a faction of her personality.

That doesn't mean that Pooke's any less real. So I embrace Poot. And I wish that I hadn't had to say the name Poot as often as I did. How do you feel about the word Poot? Because I don't even care too much about the word stinky, but the word Pooot's making me pretty angry. Very upset about the word putt coming out of my mouth. Yes. In fact, if you're at home right now, just say it.

Say it aloud because you're not going to be happy with yourself. Oh, no, I made a Poot. Like it just makes me think of, oh, God. Like you know when like you really got a shit but you only like it's only like a little bit that comes out, that's a poot, right? Yeah, that's definitely the, you look up poot at the dictionary and that's what's there. It's like a turdette. See, this actually really reminds me of the story that I included in this episode as well where Jennifer Coolidge, who is my personal lord and savior. Jennifer Gullidge once pretended to be her own twin

so she could date two men at once when she was on vacation in Hawaii by herself and the two men were best friends she liked both of them so she pretended that she was twins and if that doesn't make you love Jennifer Coolidge even more than you already should, I don't know what to fucking tell you. So if she can do it, anyone can do it

and talk about the balls of just like, yeah, I go to vacation in Hawaii by myself. You can be whatever you want if you vacation in Hawaii by yourself and I believe it. Pout, welcome to existence. And I'll say that

I guess I have to say I believe I have some clarifying questions about her time in the basement and when she was out of the base like when she was let out is she fully let out? Does she still live in the basement? She's allowed to go to the red carpet events

and so I have a little bit of confusion But I've never heard Jackie say yes so quickly. So I got to be in Team Poot. I would say about the whole part with the red carpet event being apparently the first appearance of her outside of the basement. If you've been trapped in a basement that long, you're probably like a feral child. So good on her for making it to a gala. I mean, do we all remember a child called it, which I think that you guys, were you guys forced to read a child called it ever? No, I can kind of tell what that's about.

glad I never had to want. Don't read it. Well, it's a bit of a poot story and not a fun poot story either. Yeah, it's the dark side of a little. Bit of a knell, let's say. It's a bit of a knell in the poot situation, yes. Hey, Tay in the Poot is what we're saying here. Hey, Tay in the Poot.

Man, that's now talk about, we were just talking about this on talking TV, Molly. I'm talking about back-to-back movies to have like a double feature. night because we watched Law Abiding Citizen and then we watched Hurricane Heist in one night and I think that watching my brain just stopped I think reading, watching

Nell and then also maybe acting out your own version of Child Called It would be like a silly fun date night actually and maybe you should do it and I think that you would probably really enjoy yourself but not as much as you would enjoy yourself.

while I tell you what's on the list. Oh, who's on the list? Me, okay, got to have that list. This has some great, now you know, general movie trivia, little nuggets for you. And some of these really did hurt my brain for a second. Did you know that Cooleo was supposed to play the scarecrow in a Batman movie?

he did his minor cameo in Batman and Robin at a street race only because he was supposed to be the villain in Joel Schumacher's next Batman movie, which of course didn't happen. I would have watched it. I definitely, I mean, you know, he's no Killian Murphy, but it would have been a very different approach, and I would have watched the hell of it. That would have been, I mean, I just would have loved another Schumacher

Batman entry because how much crazier can you get, how much pun intended bat shit crazy can be it that's what they should call it too Batman bat shit crazy How many more puns can The Cooleo A he would have definitely as Scarecrow

made a reference to his own music recorded as Culeo That would have definitely happened And oh the Scarecrow puns would have been fantastic Would have been amazing But like oh finding Batman right now Would be like finding a needle in the

Hey, like it'll just be Constant barrage of scarecrow puns. I guess you don't know who else What other villains would have been in this movie Because I mean, that would Dude, Schumacher, Cooleo Scarecrow Man, that would have been just

Flaming Hot, amazing garbage. We also would have got one of the great 90s music videos where it's a Coolio song set to images from the movie I mean, you know, clips from the movie. Yes. Yeah, scare I'm like a scarecrow, Scarecrow.

We're gonna scare him like. like a scare crore, you know, it's like Ella Hulljay, Deep is bluest. One of my favorite. Needs, the crows have eyes. I was going to say it talks like the crows have eyes. Yes. I'm on that season right now, by the way.

Oh my God, how great. That's so good. Deep is bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin. Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah, that's in Shitt's Creek. But the crows have eyes, the crow ining. He really would have been, see, that's what you do. You make that movie, put Coolio in that movie.

And I would say you wouldn't have to do. a whole lot to his visage because Cullio's been looking a little scary lately, but I like it. I think it's definitely an interesting look. Have you looked at a current picture of Culeo? Has he been looking like a scarecrow? I have not Googled current picture of Culeo in a couple of years, Jack. See, the thing is, is I actually do. And he has shaved his head.

Are you looking at a picture of Culeo right now? Yeah, he just looks old and he has shaved. his head so that he just has like braids coming off of the side of his head. Yeah. Yes. So it looks like that they are antennas of sorts. And it is definitely,

you know what? It's a choice. And I'll give him that. I like it. I think it's great. He's not letting it die. He's not letting the hairstyle die. He's not letting it die.

But also did you know that Daniel Radcliffe was allergic to the first glasses they gave him for the Harry Potter movies. The skin around his eyes broke out in white heads and spots, and it took everyone a week to figure out the nickel, silver, and the rims were causing it. They quickly made him new ones out of rolled gold. But how annoying as a child. First huge thing, how terrifying it already would be. And then your face has a bunch of spots on it and you don't know why.

I think I would have just cried myself to see. sleep every day. It's just so strange. It's just, they're just glass. Like, couldn't they, I know they're Harry Potter glasses, but like, I'm just, I'm a little bit shocked that they needed to go to such lengths to get, like, couldn't they just get regular plastic glasses that kids wear? You'd think that.

I'm going to go ahead and say there's probably a lot of issues with glare, camera glare. Ah. Yeah, stuff like that, you couldn't just get a cheap. I mean, even right now, my glasses are. are projecting the window in front of me. So a little filmic tidbit from old holdy bones. Little filmic tidbit. I stand corrected.

Well, here's another filmic tidbit for you. Did you know that George Lucas really, really didn't want Harrison Ford to play Indiana Jones? I feel like this might be something that most Indiana heads know, but I didn't, because y'all know I just watched all the Indiana Jones. for the first time. But apparently Ford was already in two of Lucas's movies, and Lucas said, I don't want him to be my Bobby De Niro. Because De Niro was considered Scorsese's actor. Years later, Lucas said he was perfect for the part.

I can't imagine anybody else in that part. Well, he's saying it now. And he definitely had the right tone. I was very into it. Ooh, he's an archaeologist. Ooh, he's a daddy, but not a daddy. So I guess technically that means he's a zaddy. and I was into it.

Did you just roll your eyes at Zaddy? No, my screen froze in a weird way. It was the internet, I tell you. No. He's a Zaddy. We'll also hold in female trout fake orgasms. I don't know why this weird, weird list that was put together.

Now, are we talking about Tom Cruise? No, I'm talking about real life, trout. During trout sex, the male and female both quiver and release the egg and sperm at the same time. But sometimes the female doesn't release her eggs so she can keep them for another mate. Plus, having more fake orgasms apparently attracts more male trout. Interesting, heard of that before. Thank God that, you know, people with ovaries don't release eggs when they orgasm.

That would be a real nightmare. You really find out. You definitely find out. I think it's also, it's part of, what book is that? And they were talking about how the idea of making sounds during sex was to, it was like in the caveman era where it was like for women to allow other people, other men to know that they were ready for making babies. Yeah, it was like, it always like breaks my brain. Yeah, I think that was in, I read that in Sex at Dawn, which I don't know how that book holds up in terms of, yes. science, but it was, yeah, it was like a, hey boys, you know, come around. Come on over.

Yeah, I've heard Sex and Don sort of kind of wishy-washy when it comes to what's, if it's legit. Yeah. I think that it served a great purpose, which was to be like, sex is good and fun, and evolutionarily it's for fun. But I don't know whether it actually holds up in terms of being something that I cite as frequently as I did when I read it in the mid-2010s. And I do want to, speaking of these fun little animal tales, I do want to tell the tale that I thought was kind of fun. From Kat, who wrote into the page 7 podcast at gmail.com email address that the title of this story is The Nasty Man. And I want to read it to you guys. Okay.

I work with snakes. So this has a lot to do with, she said, a big fan of page 7. And I heard your conversation on last week's episode about Tom Cruise, his son and the fish they love. I don't have any theories about this, but I do have another story that this brought to mine, the nasty man.

I work with snakes. And my boss has a story of a phone call she once got, asking if she could answer questions about false water. Cobras. Apparently, so we call them, they call them nasties because they have venom, but it's delivered by big back teeth, so bites are not generally considered life-threatening. The man, in a strange, breathy voice, started by saying he usually gets home from work around six, but the other day he got off early. His son was home from school in his room. As the father walked by the open door, he noticed the son standing by his bed, with their pet, fall.

water cobra on the nightstand, striking and biting his son. He can tell that the snake has bitten his son on the penis and that his son had had an orgasm. At this point, my boss is recommending a hospital, but the man says this was some days ago. He wants to understand why his son did it. My boss then starts recommending therapy, but the man says that he looked up ways to understand your child better and found that walking in their shoes is the best way to relate. So he goes on telling my boss about letting a false water cobra bite his penis, that it was the best orgasm he ever had and that it made his penis grow to 14 inches.

At this point, she stayed on the line just to know what the guy would say. She tells him she's done talking to him and hangs up. Cut to several months later. And she runs into a colleague at another reptile facility. He tells her about a weird phone call from a guy talking about his son. turns out this guy has been calling herpetologists around the country and telling them the same story. The consensus is that he's just masturbating on the phone and making stuff. I did not expect that turn.

I was just so shocked. I was so interested by the story that I needed to share. And thank you so much, Kat, for sharing that with us because it was just, I love that it reminded her of our maybe. Tom Cruise is just trying to get to know his son better by entertaining these fish. That's how it connects. I was like, where is the connection other than this weird fetish involving, you know, odd animals? It's father-sons things. Why include your son into whatever the hell you were saying?

And with the breathy voice, meaning that he was just jerking off while talking to the snake person about it. Is this still the list? Yeah, that was the list. Yeah, that's it. Unless you want to know about the white shark cafe in the Pacific where all the sharks go, because it's a Colorado-sized patch of ocean about 1,200 nautical miles east of Hawaii. And great white sharks from the west coast of Mexico and U.S. swim there en masse every year.

Once there, they dive deep below the surface and then come back over and over again for days. And it's not clear why. Uh-oh, it looks like they're putting the O in ocean. Oh! Oh, shit more like. Well, I guess I can't even like roll my eyes anymore at Jackie in the thing she says, because I think I'm going blind. Items.

Oh, we can see him, unfortunately. Which foreign-born breakout star of that period streaming show is the early frontrun to play this Marvel superhero. It will be an entirely new alter ego character, not the one portrayed by the recently deceased. actor. Marvel, you're talking to the wrong people. So let's talk about the part you would know better. What is the recently streaming period show? Oh, okay. So the recently deceased actor has to be Chadwick Bozeman, right? That is correct. Oh, so is it Bridgerton? And yes, and so who's the actor for Bridgeton that might be playing? Is he going to play Black, is he going to play Black Panther?

That's right. Who is it? Reggie Jean. I don't, I still don't know how to say his name. I don't, you know I know, don't know how to say his name. Rijé Jean Page or Reggie John Page. Either way, the Duke himself, the Rake Duke himself is apparently, I mean, I'm going to go ahead and say we should wait another five to ten years before they make another Black Panther out of respect, but either way. Yes, out of respect as well as the fact that he's got, if that is true, he's got a lot of work to do.

I mean, he's a very attractive man, but it's like, like, Chadwick Boseman had such a great amazing, like, pacifist yet hulking presence in that movie. Like, I don't, I think he's a fine actor. I thought he did Graydon Bridgetton, but I don't know. There's a lot more I'd have to see before we can say yes to this. Yeah, that's so tough because Black Panther is such an incredibly good character. And so it's like, you do want more movies in that franchise because he's such a good character. But also, it's like so Chadwick Bowman's character.

and how do you deal with that terrible loss of an incredible character that like totally should live on? Damn. I mean, one thing that I will say is that the Duke is a rake. He is definitely a rake. And I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that they're doing that. Ryan Coogler is also doing a spinoff of Black Panther for Disney Plus as a television show. So I wonder if that has to do with that. But still, too, I think.

too soon? Definitely too soon. And I want to see him do other stuff than just be a sexy rake. I mean, I'll watch him continue to be a sexy rake. I mean, I'll also continue to see that rake be a rake. Ooh, wee.

Either way, though, here's the next one. It's not as fun because we're not talking about the Rake Duke. But I will say it is actually a lot of fun. Never mind, this is a fun one, guys. It's like a light, dumb, fun one. Okay, this one comes in from Leah who says, and no, now my axe,

different Leah, who says, hey guys, first time emailing, love your show. Jackie, I love you. I love you. You sexy tigers. Molly, you witty kitty, you crack me up and holden whatever,

JK, you wrote this. I love this. Thought I would turn my celebrity into a blind item for you. Yeah, this is just kind of a funny little anecdote, but it is made into a blind. My uncle was a Marine

who served as an artillery officer in the Persian Gulf War, and while there, he shared a tip. with this other artillery guy. My uncle said this guy was constantly singing and making him listen to his demo tapes, which I'm told gets pretty annoying

in the middle of the desert. He's never talked about it much, but this two-time Grammy award-winning B-list rapper slash singer served in the USMC during the Gulf War as a field artillery cannon crewman. But if you ask him about it, he's likely to say it wasn't him.

Hints, do you need hints? It wasn't me. Okay. Shaggy? Yeah, it's Shaggy. Good work. You caught that little tiny. I would never miss, it wasn't me a reference, ever.

Years after his service, Lance Corporal Orville Richard Burrell became known as none other than Mr. Bombastic. My uncle never spoke with him again after returning from the war, but I'm just going to say it, I know Shaggy. Thank you so much. Whoa. Shaggy. You know what? That is great. Good for him.

Never before have I associated Shaggy with the Gulf War, and now I will forever. No. This is, oh, this comes in, oh no, I forgot. All right, I'm going to have to look it up really quick after this. I kept it blank because I didn't know if they wanted me to use their name. But it's three friends who said, we are huge fans, huge. Do we have a tasty morsel for you? This is a fun one.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. The other ones were like whatever compared to this one, okay? So whatever. One of our undersigned friends used to work at an upscale hotel in Humboldt County, California, which at times received celebrity guests. The lore surrounding these guests was often passed around the smoke circle in the evenings. Here's the blind. This psychological thriller Big Shot director was one of those guests.

After an otherwise uneventful stay, the housekeeping staff discovered a phenomenal twist. It was a huge strap-on. left behind the bed. When we say huge, we don't mean regular, degular big. We mean forearm clown shoe, county fair, blue ribbon zucchini huge. Does this director like to be pegged?

If so, kudos to you for doing your thing, Scaliwag. Or were they leaving a characteristic sign to something more sinister? There was some little hints in there with the verbiage, by the way, especially that last one with the sign. M. Knight Shambulab.

That is Kabbali. It's on fire today. The hints are good. Sorry, all I kept thinking of was Ridley Scott getting pegged up to his eyeballs, and I, you know what, I'd watch it. And night shamanlod. Well, you know, my absolute favorite scene in signs is when they, you know, spend the entire movie trying to figure out how to stop the aliens. And then they just, like, use a baseball bat at the very end. The baseball bat is very satisfying.

So maybe we're talking, I don't know, maybe the baseball bat is a symbol for his pegging interest. I don't know. Ooh, I watch it. Well, I'm going to take this over. I got some shout outs over. And again, thank you guys so much for hitting us up at page seven podcast at gmail.com. I am loving. In fact, but remember, if it is a blind item or something for holding, just put that in the subject line.

and I will not open it. I'm very good. I like surprises. But I do want to give a shout out to Skyler. And I really appreciate that, Skyler, I want you to know that you were writing about the difficult time because you were in the hospital with COVID and pneumonia and that you're still listening to the show. And that someone saw you writing in the page 7 Facebook group and took a screenshot of it and sent it to us and was just like, hey, I just want you to know this person's having a. really difficult time right now.

And I just want to send you as much love and positivity as I can muster, as well as to Jillian, who sent this, she does not know you. She just thought that maybe you could use a little bit of positive energy sent your way. And I just want to say thank you to both of y'all so hard, as well as beautiful Haley, whose dirty 30 has been canceled of like a third fucking time. And your friend, Sidney, hit us up and said if you could just throw a Guy Fietti, love and shout out her way. And I just want to say, happy birthday. Sorry that the world is fucking your birthday over so hard.

But at least if anything, you're in your 30s and it's the best time. Yes. So at least it's not like, oh, my 20th birthday. You know, because like that's at the beginning of such a different ball game. Not that the 20s aren't fun, but they're very, very different. I just want to say that I love you guys so much and thank you for all of the positive energy that you put out towards us through the, through the email, through the comments online. I just want to say that I love you and I read it all and I really, really appreciate it.

Again, I'm a bit of an Enagram 7, so I bounce around and I read things a lot and I forget to answer because my brain has 20 million things happening at once at all times, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you because I really, really do. Happy birthday, Haley. I also, again, shout-outs to Fiona. Thank you for that blind. And I just want to say, are we doing plugs now? Is that where we're at?

Yes. Check me out, Twitch.combe, for it slash hold date or so. It's a bit of a shorter schedule right now as I'm getting set up out here. But we will have Jackanese on Friday at now, weirdly, 3 p.m. my time, but 6 p.m. ET. And it is a fun party, so please join us for that. Also, Jackie's killing it on the Patreon. I'm Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. And you guys are killing it on the emails.

Thank you so much for sending them in. Again, that's page seven podcast, page the number seven podcast at gmail.com. Your celebrity conspiracies, your blind items, and your general notes of love are so appreciated. And keep them coming. We really love it. So thank you guys so much. Molly. I'm Molly.

I am M.J.K.L. Kat on Instagram. And I am Jackie Zabrowski. You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And remember, remember the fourth of Fred Brenda. Because tomorrow, if you are listening to this today, and if you have missed it, please go over to our Patreon. Because Thursday, February 4th, 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 9 p.m. Easter standard time.

We will be watching New Moon because I finished the second book. Don't worry, I finished the second Twilight book. We are immediately jumping into the third Twilight book. That first chapter will be released. on Friday. And so tomorrow night, Holden and Natalie and myself are going to be watching New Moon over on the last podcast network Twitch. So find the information over on the page 7 Patreon.

It is up there. And if you miss it, don't worry. We're going to post it. And it'll be there for you if you want to watch New Moon with us again because apparently we're going to see Taylor Lautner without a shirt on. But I am going to be dreaming that it's actually Jason Mamoa. So as long as you know that I'm dreaming, it's Jaysonamoa. Jason Mamoa and that I know that I'm dreaming it's Jason Mamoa.

We can get through our love for a werewolf together. I'm in love with a werewolf. I love with a werewolf. I love you guys. And we'll talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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