Page 7 - Ep. 389: Brou Hoo-Ha

Episode Date: February 11, 2021

We goss about the Super Bowl, "Framing Britney Spears", and we throw a big yikesaloo out for Sia's new movie. Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Talk about a song that has been living rent-free in my brain for days. I can't feel my face when I'm with you. But I love it. Ooh. But I love it. Yeah. They're talking about cocaine. I can't feel my face when I'm with you.

But I love it. But I love it. In my head, there are a lot more drums involved in the production of this song. Who knows how much. drums are actually involved. Yes, I'm talking about the weekend. And yes, you are listening to page seven. Been stuck in my head since the halftime show. My name is Jackie. May I'll introduce myself, who the hell cares? Why not? Hi, Jackie. I'm Holden. And I heard the performance of the weekend from the apartment adjacent to mine who were having a blast watching the Super Bowl while

I had movers bringing all of my shit into my apartment. They decided to show up for the entirety of the Super Bowl. I pretty much missed all of it. But man, I heard just what an exciting game. What an exciting. All the commercials people keep talking about. All that weekend performance, everyone is just like, oh, better than Michael Jackson, better than Lady Gaga.

It was just a constant screeching of approval. My name is Molly Nuffel, and I never know while I'm watching something, whether it, whether other people will think it is good or not. And I like big choreography. And so I was like, I kind of like the dancing. But my thing with the weekend is I just like enjoy him when I hear him. And I don't feel very strongly one way or the other. Yes.

I am kind of just like nonplussed. I have heard that his early stuff is very dark and good. I enjoy the early stuff. I enjoy the bops as well. But I guess we're going to have that many amazing. dancers, I guess, do more with them? I felt like it was a little like, if you've got that many amazing dancers, do like some flippies.

I don't know. I know nothing about, but I will say I was watching it with Natalie. I was watching it. And who is a dancer, and she did say that they were sorely underusing these performers. But I imagine it had a lot to do, of course, with the fucking pandemic and the fact that Nobody can get close to anybody. So I would assume that that is part of the reason. I felt the same way.

I was like, why are they not having sex on the stage right now? And then I realize. I'd watch him, guess all of them. So this is coming right after the fact. So we've been watching the weekend do the face bandage thing for a while. I love that too. I think a lot of people are just so eye-roly about the face bandage thing. I think we've seen so much of this like pop star doing like big art,

artful things with their aesthetic, which I like. Do something different. I think that's awesome. Something that doesn't work about this unless I guess, I'm sure if you're like a weekend super fan, it's the lore behind the face stuff is really cool and interesting. And we even talked about it. I mean, we talked about it for a celebrity conspiracy.

And I've already forgotten what I told you guys about it. Yeah, that was same. I was like, is this news to me? I guess I knew that bandage thing. It was just, I didn't, I was like, at first I was like, oh, the dancers are wearing masks. That's nice. They're stylized masks for pandemic. And then I realized it was like a deeper weekend reference.

Yes. Yeah, again, it was just kind of like a, I feel like the key to a good Super Bowl performance, if it's not going to be like Beyonce is that it has to be somebody who, like my experience, every Super Bowl performance, like when it's not Beyonce or Katie Perry. or Lady Gaga is being like, I don't really know this person's music. And then they go and then I realize I know every song. You know all the music.

So on that level, the weekend, it was like, okay, these are like fun dance songs that like everybody knows. Yes. And but but but it didn't like I didn't have any deeper knowledge of the weekend was like a barrier of entry to me to understand any of the other references, you know. Yes, it was a bit of a hymen of a Super Bowl performance. I saw that vibe coming from a lot of like very alienated older people on Twitter and things like that. But just being like, what the fuck even what even was that?

Like I agree. I think that it's like if you're in his position, I mean, and I'm watching it right now. And there is a lot of spectacle. But I don't know. It's like you got to do something that just grabs those people. And instead I think it was a bunch of choices that just makes people go like, I don't know what this is or care. Yes, and I think that it's so So if you're not familiar,

The Weekend has been doing this performance art for his album after hours that it started off with like a bloody nose and then he ended up coming out with like a fully bandaged face and then he showed a fake plastic surgery face and everyone's like, oh my God, is that really what he looks like now? Which obviously it's not. It was all a performance art piece for his album.

And he said that he came out last week and he said the significance of the entire head bandages is reflecting on the absurd culture of Hollywood celebrity and people manipulating themselves for superficial reasons to please and be validated. I understand that, but that's been done.

But it's just so, I hate to say that. Yeah. Planned at the day. Planned at the drug is your target? Come on now. Who cares? Even when, even kind of when St. Vincent did lost ageless, the song is just good enough for me to like be down with it.

But even then I'm just kind of like we've seen the plat, yes. They love the plastic surgery in the L.A. It's a thing. We see it. We get it. I mean, at the same time, we're also researching Cher. And I believe that she said, yeah, I've had work done.

If I want to put my tits on my back, I can. And you know what? She's right. The best. If you want to put your tits on your back, you can. And do whatever the hell you want. It is. But at the end of the day, I guess I feel weird as someone that also, you know,

I would definitely get work done. I'm not adverse to it. I don't judge people for doing it. I completely understand. But at the end of the day, he takes all of that off. And he's a sexy, fine, 30-year-old who is a millionaire, a multi-millionaire. Right. So I don't see really, like, what did you do then?

What did you change? You said what you had to say, but I don't think that anyone is different because of it. But, you know, to each, they're right. own. He put seven million of his own money into doing the Super Bowl, because we all know that the performers usually have to pay to make their own Super Bowl shows. So I really thought he was going to do something nuts with it, or something really truly, because they kept saying like, this is a groundbreaking Super Bowl halftime show. And it's because there was no one in the audience, really, or it was at like 20% capacity. So they had some stuff set up in the, in the stand.

like they would when you do a concert in a sports arena. Is that, I mean, you're right, they haven't done it during a halftime show, but is that that ground-breaking? I mean, I can't do it. So maybe who am I to say? Hi, oh, no, I don't think that it was technically groundbreaking performance, but neither was the game,

which I had to explain. I was like, I thought Tom Brady was up in the, isn't he a badman on the badmins team? And then I had to be told because again, I kept making my Tony Dungey jokes and no one liked my Tony Dungey jokes. You are always a blast at a Super Bowl. Jackie is always, as we've just heard,

a very fun addition to anyone's Super Bowl party. It's absolutely fantastic. What are you talking about? I brought the dips. I made the dips and I brought the dips to our pods Super Bowl party. Tell me about your dips. Oh, well, you know, I feel little,

basic here, but I make a buffalo chicken dip. That's pretty fucking mean. It's necessary. It's a great dip. Don't apologize. And then I also made a warm, it's referred to loosely as a Texas trash dip. That was like a warm, I made my own refried beans. I made like a

warm bean and cheese dip. And does it have an old can in it or some sort of garbage inside of it? Yes. Actually, it's got goat hair in it. Because I was like, well, what would eat the cans? Oh, the goat would eat the cans, but I don't want to put the goat in it. So I just sprinkle it right on top.

Bit of a witch's brew, one might say. Brew ha, more like, yeah, brew hoo-hoo-ha. That's what I call my squirtie now. I say, boss, hoo-ha, it is coming for you. If Mary doesn't name the episode, brew-ho-ha, I don't know. I don't know anybody. I am just going to go and say congratulations to the three of us for honestly filling this much time about what was a very uninteresting event, I would say,

at the end of the day. Yeah, we got nine minutes. Yeah, there was a streaker. The guy, but I was so sad because I saw Kisle jump up and scream because he's like, there's a streaker. And I come inside because we were sitting out by the fire pit. Like, we see each other. We stare at each other once a week. I don't need, you know, I don't really care. And the streaker wasn't even naked. I'm, you're going to be a streak or be naked. I still don't understand. It's like, I get it. You shouldn't do that in front of the kids. I understand. But I still think streaking is fun. and I think it's sad when people get arrested for streaking.

Is that a bad thing to say? No, no, I agree. Because it doesn't ever seem at all. I guess it would be distressing for a child. But at the end of the day, there's nothing like sexual about it. It is always, you want the most oafish human being possible to be out there running naked. I mean, it's not like, you don't want to see like somebody ripped and like toned streaking. You want to see somebody with a big old beer gut.

Yeah. A ridiculous specimen. Who will never be able to outrun the cops so you get to see that fun face plant as well. I love it. Have you ever streaked? I only had a streak once. I streaked after losing a beer pong game

and I had to take off all my clothes and run around the house three times. Oh my God. But then you were giving me drinks as I would go. Oh, okay. That's nice. That sounds pretty fun. How many people were present?

A good amount. Really? This was after I left. Keper's old face in Florida State. Of course. It was. At the house of cuties. And that's what you would do.

I was dressed. I was on some sort of ninja team. I was dressed in all black. So I did it. I was fine with it. I loved it. Yeah, I've never skinny dipped. I've never streaked.

I am lame and I should probably just curl up into a ball until I cease to exist. It's not lame. Yeah, I'm the same. Whenever anyone is like, oh, let's go naked into the house. hot tub, I'm like, no thank you. I don't show my body to people. I get it. I completely get it. I'm not the, I'm not, you know, I think it depends on if it's like my dignity on the line,

then I'm completely down. And, you know, I've watched some late night videos where those things. It's the same way when I watch like sex on the beach videos or like exhibitionist videos, I'm like, I've also had sex on a beach and I never want to do it ever again. Sex on a beach is horrible. You get sand and everything And you're trying and you just get like sand burns on your knees It's a nightmare but I'll watch it anytime

And I'll drink one on any day Oh, sex like would you? Yeah, aren't they really sugary? I think people should do it I think people should be naked more It's just I think my reluctance to do so Is society's problem Just like plastic surgery is society's problem

Not the individual people who get it the weekend, relax. Stop targeting people for trying to live up to the standards that they're forced to live under. I don't even have that take. I'm just so bored at the, like, we went through the obsession and LA's obsession with plastics. I mean, when was Nip Tuck a decade ago? Oh my God, I loved Nip Tuck. Yeah, I love Nip Tuck.

Should we do a Nip Tuck rewatch? Is that what we're talking about right now? I'm totally in. I think it's on Hulu. Yes. Yeah, I'm totally in. But then this is a thing. Or you can take that idea and really flip it on its head like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton did in their Super Bowl ad.

That was cute. Because they take what doesn't make any sense to anyone, which is the relationship between Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. And I watched, I loved it because Molly hit me up and was just like, Jackie, did you love the Super Bowl commercial between Gwen Stephanie and Blake Shelton? And you know what? I watched it multiple times, and I wish I wasn't so in love with Blake Shelton. I really wish I wasn't. I don't know what it is. I was a scrooge.

At first, okay, so I wasn't paying close attention when I watched it. And then I just saw the beginning and it was like Gwen Stefani is single. And I was like screaming. Did Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton break up? I spent like the first half of the commercial screaming, like, why is Gwen Stefani saying she's single? And then Blake Shelton showed up. And so my first viewing, I was just kind of appalled. that there are existence, as I always am.

But then upon a second viewing, I have to admit, Scrooge that I am, even I had to admit, it was actually extremely cute. Really honestly, too, and I hate to give like copywriters their due, but very good writing on that commercial. It was a great for a year that was filled with very weird Super Bowl ads. That one was actually a shining star, because if you didn't see it, it was essentially Gwen Stefani was talking over FaceTime on a bad connection to Adam Levine. To Adam Levine.

Because in the voice, which I also watched for way too long, they have a running joke that Adam Levine and Blake Shelton don't like each other. Like they rib each other all the time. So the commercial is Gwen Stefani asking Adam Levine for a boyfriend. And she said, what she actually said was, I'm sick of L.A. guys. I want someone completely different. Maybe someone from another country and someone cultured and sensitive and who's not threatened by a strong, confident woman. And what Adam Levine hears is, I want someone completely

country, uncultured, and threatened by a strong confident woman. And Blake Shelton walks up and he goes, I got the guy for you. And I thought it was cute because I want to kiss Blake Shelton. And I, I used to really struggle with this. But I think it's cute. Is it kind of a backwards, retroactive dig to Miranda Lambert to suggest she isn't a strong, confident woman, because that's who he was with for. I don't know. Spicy. That is spicy.

I mean, I know that they had a difficult divorce, so who knows? I don't think you would be that petty, though. I just want to throw this out there just to make all of us feel really old. Nip Tuck definitely premiered in 2003. It is almost two decades old. No. No, it's not. I remember watching that show like it was yesterday.

No, it's not. And it is available on Hulu, it looks like, too. So maybe a rewatch is in order for that. But oh, my God, I couldn't believe when I saw that. Either way. That hurts my chest. It hurts my chest almost as how many times I watched the music trailer. We have to.

I didn't talk about it. We chose not to talk about. the Sia movie when the teaser trailer came out in November because I love Sia and I was very sad about it. But now the fact that Kate Hudson has been

nominated for a golden globe before it, we have to talk about this movie. I was like, okay, maybe this is just like a Sia and Maddie Ziegler vehicle. And then when I realized Kate Hudson was there, I was like, how did someone not sit her down and be like, okay, so Kate Hudson, here's the deal. Turns out autistic people can actually speak for themselves and a lot of them do not think

this is cool. There's a whole thing right now, a conversation around non-disabled people, playing disabled people, and the consensus seems to be evolving that is not great because there are disabled actors. Has she never fucking heard this? How are they going to get their Oscars? How are they going to get their Oscars, Molly? And they have to do it. You know it. Come on. We saw, Tropic of Thunder. We've seen this. By left foot, it is a choice from 25 years ago

to be like, I will be in the movie about disabled people, so I will get an Oscar that features crucially, the crucial thing here. Of course, there should be movies about people with disabilities.

There are actors with disabilities who can play characters with disabilities, and again, if you've been alive. At least do some research, if you're not going to use a person with a disability, to play a person with a disability in the movie, do at least more than 20 minutes of research,

which I think is all see a did. Oh, how do you even, like, I am not even an extremely online person. I am barely keeping up with my own pop culture podcast, but how do you not know that there is like a large, how do you make an entire movie about something that there is a large conversation about, like maybe we should stop the kind of gross trend of having people without disabilities, play people with disabilities. Like maybe how do you miss that?

Like literally how I understand how Sia missed it because she is the producer, the everything on it. And I understand how Maddie Ziegler missed it because she's not an actor. But like, how does Kate Hudson miss it? I just don't get how nobody along the way was like, so this is actually like we might have like a big, there's like a big thing we're doing that we might not want to do. Like I just don't understand

how you can get this far and not understand. I hate to say this because every bad things, I feel like Sia kind of brought me back to pop music even before Taylor Swift and all this kind of stuff. Like I love Sia.

She's amazing. I love her music so much. I think I really got into my like adult pop phase all because of her. And so everything said bad about her hurts a little bit, but that said, I think they all thought they were being really brave and doing something really amazing for the world. I think that they all thought they were being these amazing people giving something great

to the land. I also, I think you're right. And we've talked about this. We talked about this on talking TV when it comes to the movie Soul. There are times when the internet gets very upset and like stick up their ass about something that I'm like, well. Guys, we could probably cool out a little bit. And I guess I kind of thought that that was what this category.

Like, I didn't realize what this movie was until I watched the trailer. And I immediately was like, oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. But then we were talking about this right before we started recording. And then you hit the music video part of this. Because also, pause this if you haven't yet. Watch the music trailer if you're able to. Or maybe don't watch it.

Or just, no, it's... But it makes sense because Sia had never directed anything before, but she directs a lot of her big music videos. She does a great job at that. Which are all incredible. And this is going to be all of Sia's music done with Labyrinth, who I also like their collaborations as well. So I bet the music is going to be great.

It's going to be the worst movie with the best soundtrack. I know. And originally when she first wrote it, and she's been working on this. For years, by the way. When she first wrote it, she wanted to just be a drama with no musical element. Can you even imagine? I can't.

I can handle the music parts of it. But I think I have to watch this movie. I think I have to see it when it comes out. The experience of watching the trailer, especially if you like Sia, is going to be really tough for you because it is an incredibly difficult trailer to watch. It's like, like, Maddie Ziegler is doing this, like, I do not think, uh, respectful portrayal of a character with autism. It's really not okay. It's just like, it's just like, it just screams not okay.

And then the music hits and the dancing comes in and you're just like, yeah, like it is, it, you cannot, it's like, see it is so good. Her music is so good. The dancing is so good. Maddie Ziegler is such a good dancer. And so I found my body being like, I want to enjoy this. And my brain was like, screaming. like no.

It's very jarring. It's also just, again, going back to this vibe I was giving out about the weekend and being like, haven't we seen this before? I mean, the concept of someone with a disability escaping into this magical realism of these big musical numbers, I saw it with Dance from the Dark.

I've seen it probably in four other things that I can't even think of off the top of my head. It's not a new concept. So again, like nothing here is novel. I totally get why she chose Maddie. A, Maddie is her. number one gal, always has been,

is like the representation of her. She's a great dancer. And she's a movement expert. So I think she was thinking like, oh, she could like take on all of the facial and physical things,

ticks and things that autistic people have. I'm not defending this at all. I'm just talking about the thought process here and how she fucked up. You know what I mean? It's just one of those where it's like, and then it was so, I think mentioned it before,

but I was really funny because in the email Jackie said, She was like, how did no one stop her? And then there was a link right under that. And I clicked on it. And then first thing, it was the Wikipedia page. The first thing I saw before I got to development process was produced by SIA, directed by Sia, written by Sia. It was just Cia, see ya, see it all the way down.

And, like, that's how it happens. You just get so much money. You can fund your own thing. You're writing the wave of, like, I'm doing something amazing for the world right now. You're writing that wave. You know what I mean? And so, you know, I think you can get so up in that. Because I've been there before.

I've thought, I thought people were going to love that I was a T-Swift fan. You know what I mean? I literally thought people were going to fucking be like, yay! And, like, come out and, like, give me wreaths because I'm a grown-ass dude who, like, super-loved C-Sews-W. That was not the reaction I got. And this is on a completely different level than that. But, like, you know what I mean? Sometimes you just get it in your head, like, the reaction the world's going to have,

and you're in a vacuum. You know what I mean? And I think that, and you're right, hold it in terms of like there are so many, like, the type of movie of like, right, like kind of magical disabled people has been done and I think generally been done poorly. I think that you could make an argument that Sia could have made this movie in collaboration, right, with like an autistic co-writer, right? And again, an autistic actor. Like, you could like the, again, her vision, you know, her art is incredible. Like you could make a non-condescending, like non-dehumanizing version of this if you're trying to do something kind of interesting. And again, not kind of like super otherizing condescending thing about like, you know, the cool, interesting things about the way people with disabilities see the world differently.

like okay, but again, it just can't be just see it. It's just such a sad mistake because I want to I want to root for her. Mistake number two, she immediately comes out and I made this mistake as well, by the way, immediately comes out when people come after her on the onset and just immediately defends herself.

And I think again, that comes from a guttural place of like hurt, of like, I thought I was doing something great for the world. I am, damn it, and none of you mean Twitter meanies are gonna, and then it's like, no, as time goes by and she has finally apologized at least, but I think that's the second bad look. Because sometimes you just kind of get thrown off by internet criticism

and your immediate reaction is to be like, I'm right, you're wrong. And then you're like, oh, wait, yeah, actually you are kind of right. And I should make a pivot here and be reasonable as instead of just immediately defending my honor, which I get like that all the time. You know what I mean?

I've been like that on streams and stuff. Her baby. She's been working on it. She's been editing it. also herself while working on this for years. So I do also understand that when you've been working on something for so long and you're so blind to how other people see it. But this is such a gross misstep of creation. That's what I'm referring to it as, a gross misstep of creation.

There's probably good work in there to be proud of too. There's probably really good musical numbers. There's probably real, I mean, I already could tell that one song was, even though it was a little too ooey-gooey, but it was pretty solid. And so there's probably actual good work in this, but it's all mucked up by this. God. And also, the entire plot. The plague, the straight cab, it's been lampooned. Like I just mentioned in Tropic Thunder, right?

It's, and that was how many years ago, again to make us feel old, at least a decade ago. It was a lampooned thing. It was a thing we completely made fun of, like actors, non-disability actors, like, going for that disability look. And it really does look like the way, I mean, the cringiest part is whenever you see Maddie, you're just like, oh, like just, it's so awkward. It's so cringy. You're just, it's just so bad. It's because it's just become such a staple of a joke that we've, you know, that we've been through before. There's just, no, I just, I can't.

I'm so sad about it. It's just between, it's like these kind of things again. She's nominated for a Golden Globe for it. And then you see the movies I watch, I can't bring myself to watch the prom. I've watched the trailer twice. James Gordon, because this actually has been a lot of controversies this year,

as there always is, because, oh, they didn't nominate the people of color who should have been nominated. What a fucking shocker. But this year is so out of touch. James Gordon was, I saw nothing but criticism about his performances as being an absolute caricature of a gay man. Did you watch the trailer? I, yeah, sort of.

It's hard. Jackie, stop making me watch these trailers. I'm so upset. I'm upset about it. I'm upset that it's getting accolaced and shouldn't. Tell me about it. Tell me about it because I haven't seen it. Oh, okay.

The trailer is rough. It is, it is, I, I can see what they were trying to do with the movie. And I think that they, They did it very poorly, where the magical liberals came to, and like, and also James Corden, who plays a gay man and a very stereotypically toned-de-depth. Like, I know it's a musical.

I get it. I know that it's supposed to be caricatures of people. Why is he nominated for a fucking golden globe? All right, but sorry. I'm upset about it. And they come to a small town that essentially won't allow a young girl and her girlfriend go to the prom, so the prom is canceled because of it.

And then I honestly didn't look too far into it. I just see the trailers that divas from New York come to show the town how it's done. And it's supposed to be more of a, I guess, current day footloose of sorts.

I can't, I won't watch it. I cannot watch it. I won't watch it. I won't watch it. And maybe I shouldn't be making these judgments based on the fact of how I feel about the trailer. But I won't watch it. And I'm mad about it because then, sorry, I need to look up the name of this show real quick. You may speak. You may speak.

Birds sound like this. Dog sound like this. Ar-ar-ar-ar-or-or. Pigs sound like this. Oink-goy. Hey, I'm a biggie. This is your vamping. This is your I vamp all day, all day long, and this is your vamping?

If you didn't find that entertaining. This is what happens if Jackie's ever not on the call, and it's just me and hold, and he just does that until Jackie comes on a call. And Molly's just like, yay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Molly needs baby time. Molly's so used to take care of babies. Molly needs to be the baby for a little bit, which I appreciate. I just couldn't remember the name of the show that I wanted to talk about.

Michaela Coles, I may destroy the HBO series. Yes, I knew that was the show you were looking up. I just couldn't remember. I made a story you. It was just such a name that I always forget. I also couldn't, or I would have said the name. Was such an amazing show. Why was that not nominated?

I know that there's nothing to do with that prom. I know that James Corden was nominated because they're like, oh, there weren't a whole lot of musicals and or comedies this year, which there were at least some that came out. You could have looked a little bit further. But I may destroy you, which is, if you have not watched it on HBO, I cannot record. Trigger warning. It is very upsetting.

And it definitely took me a while to watch some of the episodes. It is a show about an experience she had of sexual assault and then dealing with it. And it's an amazing show. And I can't believe. I'm sorry. We don't need to go down the whole Golden Globes. I boycott it this year. I'm boycotting it.

Yeah. I'm boycotting it this year. Of all the years, look just a little bit further. I'm sure it's going to be a fascinating ceremony. It's going to be as entertaining as the Emmys were this year and that Super Bowl halftime show. I mean, everything's just bangers this year when it comes to big live TV events. You know what? I understand.

They have to try and keep going. They're trying to keep some level of the things that people have been trying to achieve for all of their life. They don't want to throw that down the toilet. by just, you know, nominating James Corden from the prom, but they are. That's what they're doing. Well, I just feel like there's this interesting thing happening with, like, with, you know, award shows or whatever where it's like there is not enough, but yet there is still more and more and more, like, extremely high quality shows being made that, like, feature, you know,

people of color, queer people that are, like, written by them, like, the, as the quality and the representation goes up, but yet the, the award. award show kind of status quo just stays the same. And so, so what was always, um, like a glaring mistake made by award shows is now just more and more obvious because the quality of the work is just like, you know, just leaps and bounds ahead, you know, like, and so I, yeah, to watch the, what's happening with the I made Destroy You stuff is just like, it's like, there's just two different planets going on, right, in terms of the quality. Yeah. I think we need a new award show entirely.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Come out with a new TV or one of these kind of gold gloves is kind of everything that's just like reset. Just reset the clock, get a whole new group of people, get a super inclusive group of people to be on the board. You know what I mean? Yeah, if anything, like I feel like I usually enjoy like the MTV Movie Awards more because it's done by people who actually like, you know. Watch the movies. Yeah.

Watch the movies. have like heard of things like, you know, why diversity is important. Yeah, it's like anybody who technically shouldn't be allowed to drive anymore shouldn't be allowed to choose what like the best TV show is of the year. Like that's not fair for most people in the country. You know what I mean? No, and especially it's just, well, especially when there are shows like Framing Britney Spears coming out. Yeah.

And of course, had to watch it. And I couldn't stop myself because now I do feel like I am like a side pro. I have a, as if I have a small time job. What's wrong with my brain? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lift up your arms and shake them just to make sure you're not having a stroke. Okay, good. All right, you're not having a stroke.

I think that's how you test if you're having a stroke. But either way, a part-time job. A side person employment, I believe is what you were trying to say. Being obsessed with Britney Spears and what's going on with Britney Spears and poor Jeff, who did not listen to the three-hour pop history episodes, the three installments of pop history that we do because he had to deal with me inside of quarantine for a month and a half talking about Britney Spears. and he definitely hit a point that he's like, I love you and I appreciate your obsession, but you got to cool out. That was last July, you know, there wasn't a whole lot going on. So I was truly obsessed with Britney Spears.

So watching Framing Britney Spears, which they did a great job, but I did have to keep pausing it to like fill in more information of what I felt was more necessary that they should have included. and I didn't enjoy the whole second half of it that I felt that they should have really explained further of what was going on. And I'm glad they got into the conservatorship, but it is, I still feel, and if you listen to the pop history episodes, you will know this. I do think that the hashtag free Britney people are unfortunately speaking for her as well. in a way that they don't know exactly what she wants. They're not talking to Britney Spears.

Britney Spears is not involved in framing Britney Spears. So it's very easy to create a narrative of what is good for a person when they're not involved. And this is what the issue has been the entire time, is that she wants to be in control and she wants to be able to say what she needs and what she wants. But everyone speaks for her. and I'm doing it right now. That is the interesting thing, right? Because even people who get involved in the fight, the free Britney movement are kind of fucked up too

or kind of not necessarily helping as well. And also, but I do want to throw in there, Jackie. I'm proud of us. I think we did a really good job covering that topic. And thanks again to Brooke and McKenzie, who really helped open the doors for us on the whole trial and the dirty details of the conservatorship. But yeah, it is, I just think, I think, check out our three-parter.

If you enjoyed the Britney Spears doc, definitely check out our three-parter on Britney Spears if you haven't already, because I do think we do fill in a lot of blanks. And we do speak towards this issue where, again, oh, my God, this connects to the Cia thing. I think it's a bunch of people who think they're doing something great for the world and they get super involved in this thing. And then they can't take a step back and actually see how they're completely hurt. the situation and like you said, speaking for her, which is the problem. So, so yeah, really fascinating stuff.

This episode's interesting, Jackie and Molly. We're going to say it's the weekend, the face mask, plus the surgery. We got things to say, son. I was going to say something similar about how it connects to Sia in that I'm trying to find the tweet now, but there was other like disability advocates being like the conservative conservatorship is actually like a huge problem like that this, that the documentary is bringing up, right? Because like there's a lot of disability advocates who say that like people with disabilities and mental illness and whatnot still should be able to like, they shouldn't be able to have everything seized from them like this. And so it actually connects to like a much bigger problem like with the, you know, the law talk and stuff, which is not my area of expertise.

but that has been a super interesting response to the Brittany stuff is like I think I want to find it was like the ACLU or some other like huge legal organization being like this documentary is actually highlighting a much bigger problem of like conservative or conservative I cannot say that fucking word it's a shitty word it's a shitty word let's just be honest my mom just want to keep going yes I just keep going I feel like I'm talking to two people who have are having minor. I'm going to say maybe... My brain's not working. Yeah, it's water or something. I don't know. I talked to my therapist about it already.

My therapist said, yes, we're all hitting another wall because she's like, you she's like, don't you specifically remember where you were last year watching the Super Bowl? It's because we're coming up on the year anniversary and thinking and like having to deal with how much our lives have changed in here. And so I've been

talking about it a lot in therapy. We're hitting another wall and it's all right. It's okay. You are not crazy. It's been a rough year. But that's separate. What I did think it was really good in the framing Britney Spears documentary, they did, I think they did a great job

with the research. I think it was a really important and cogent point to bring up, which Molly, I think you just touched on, is that when they said there has never been a conservatorship overthrown by a conservatty ever.

And that should be spoken about. That's wild. There should be something, like, the fact that, that they went over and over going to bet, like, Britney Spears is not only paying for her entire legal team, but also the legal, the legal team of the person that she's suing and trying to,

so it is, she's like, she could just also be drained of money. The fact that she didn't do the last of her tour, the tour that she decided that she wasn't going to do and she told her father, I will not perform again until you are not the head of the, conservatorship, she's already working on it. And people that are getting in the way, which again, I think it means, they mean well.

But like last year, last July, when all of the protesters swarmed the Zoom trial and then her team couldn't get into the Zoom trial, so they had to have a mistrial. That's the best example of like fuckery, just not exactly. She's trying to fight it. Yeah, especially. It's so sorry. Now I'm getting, I'm getting heated again. This is what I did while.

we watched Framey Briey's ears and Jeff was like, I know, I know. But then like, given like this woman's experience, this woman's entire experience is like, I can't even get into the car with my infant baby without being swarmed. Then the idea of swarming her fucking trial is just like, stop swarming her. This is the thing. Yes, I'm swarming. It's not, we're not killing bees. It's not Wu-Tang clan.

No. And we're not in the Wicker man either. Uh-oh. How many bees references can we make? Wait, but we all. also have to say that Craig Ferguson's clip talking about her at the time, being like, I am not going to make jokes about her anymore. We should be making jokes about powerful people. And this kid is a kid. She's a baby. She's only 25. She's got two little kids. This is not

funny. People are dying. It's so fucking good. If you haven't seen Craig Ferguson talk about why he's not going to joke about Britney Spears. It is incredible. And it was in 2007. Just look up Craig Ferguson, Brittany Spears, 2007, and he spoke as an addict, as someone that has gone through, and he's like, talking about the lowest parts of my life, that if that had been recorded and just decimated, there's a clip in framing Britney Spears, a family feud. And the title of this part of the game was, name things that Britney Spears has lost. And people are like, her hair, her sanity, her husband, her career. I'm just glad that we as a society have grown.

We have grown, I think. That movies like music probably shouldn't exist anymore. You know, it's like, we went through a phase. And I kind of called the, I kind of attributed to Perez Hilton, though I don't not, I'd have to actually like go look at the history of it. But I call it like the Perez Hilton phase where we decided celebrities were there for the mocking. And they were like, for some reason, we just convinced ourselves.

But again, this is funny. and this is stupid and like it's okay like they're rich and they have everything so it's fine that they get harassed every single day of their lives by photographers like and and there was just this weird cynical shitty phase that we went through in pop

culture and I remember it because I was working at Getty Images I was like in the mid two late 2000s right yeah because her meltdown was like 08 right it was like late 2000s that was just a weird ass time in celebrity culture and again I think

that you should be allowed to make jokes, but it's like, think of your moral character. Think about, like, it's like, would you, again, we make jokes about Goop because Goop is Goop and Goop is perfect and Goop. But if she had, the way that I feel about Kanye, there should be, the conversation should be about his mental illness. It should be, that should be at least included in what we talk about when we are referring to how crazy some of the things he says are. because it's not crazy. He has a mental illness. And that should be a part of the conversation.

Yeah, it is, again, to speak towards that time. I mean, this was a time period when a sex tape would come out, totally against the person's wishes. I mean, allegedly or whatever, who knows. And then we would love that and think it was hilarious and pass it around. Craig Ferguson's joke was like, and a Nicole Smith, I mean, it wasn't a joke, but in his monologue, He says Anna Nicole Smith died and people in the audience laugh and he goes, that's not a joke.

I mean, he was like, he was like doing a, he was kind of in the monologue format. And he was previously doing comedy. So sometimes people are just. Yeah, fair to the audience for being like, are we laughing? But he's like, that's actually not a joke. Like, and right, I think that with obviously celebrity gas culture, we shit on people here all the time, right? But like, we do it with Ben Affleck. But like, right, I think that the ideas have like some, some moral framing.

where it's like, right, are you, let's let, like, it is a different time now than the Perez Hilton era of, like, recognize if somebody is, right, if somebody is suffering from addiction, mental illness, personal tragedies, right, like, that that is not what you go after them for, you know, and, and, and, right, I think that we get more creative with it. It is a better world in some ways. Music is still being made, but. Yes. I think, but it's things like that when it's like, I used to say that when people would say, when people say, when people say, shitty things about me. It's like, get creative with it at least. You know how many people have called me fat? I'm aware I'm fat. Get better at it. Yeah, like people who come at me with great stuff, like spineless turd or, you know, upside down dick.

Because turds don't have spines in the first place. If they did, pooping would be a much different experience. Backwards jointed elbows, they've called me and just all sorts of interesting things. Speaking of donkeys, because I can't call you a donkey, I guess. I appreciate everyone reaching out and letting me know that the Ben Affleck thing is apparently, I didn't know. I didn't know. If you're from Massachusetts, you either love Dunkin' Donuts or you're a shithead.

And that is apparently the thing. And I grew up in New York. I had no idea. Dunkin' Donuts are everywhere. It's like, oh, Dugget D'O is just a thing. Yeah, but we weren't saying like it's insane that Ben Affleck is. I think the funnier part, if the blind item is true, is that Dugget Dots is directly paying, him to advertise the product. Whether or not he loves the product is not as besides the point.

The fact that he humorously always is holding a Dunkin' Dodeut's like iced coffee while his like, he's like fumbling with packages and stuff to get that because he knows that's what's going to land him on the, you know, in the gossip brag. But I needed to know. I didn't know those things. And it was just so funny the about because y'all are the best. And I appreciate anyone that wrote into page seven podcast at jeable.com about it. because no one said it in like a, Jackie, you're a fucking idiot. I really appreciated it of like the actual explanation. Spineless turns.

Spineless turd, Jackie Zabrowski. And which I would accept. By the way, most turds don't have spines. Yeah, that's what I'd say. That's what I'd say in response. So it's a double on whatever, oxy, you're a moron. I am. See, you've got to get better at the responses.

I'm having bad. brain time. Oh, now you're having bad bra. Oh, now you're... Doesn't feel so good, does it? Doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good now, bad time, podcast content-filled time.

Sorry, I also just remembered in that that part of music is that Sia had to take out a physically restraining scene that I guess that they tried to like physically restrain music in the movie. So they took it out and she put an apology in the top of the movie of how you should never physically restrain anyone,

and that it doesn't help in a breakdown situation or any situation, and you should know that. It's just bad territory. I'm sorry, I just came thinking about it. How do you not? How do you spend years on this? Years and not learn the basics, the basics. What if I like the soundtrack, does that make me bad?

Should I just not listen to it? Because I might enjoy the music. I think it's fine. Yeah, that's how I feel. I think it's absolutely fine. I think that, you know, you just, we'll listen to the music. We'll try not to give money towards it. She needs to learn a lesson.

She does, unfortunately, need to learn a lesson from this. And hopefully she does. I think that eating your own words and really publicly saying, oh, my Golden Globe nominated movie is, I guess, bad. We're not trying to cancel Sia. we're trying to cancel the movie music. She has had to cancel a bit herself because she had a scene in it

that was so inappropriate that she had to be like, yikes, I'm so sorry. So if you're at that point, it is time to cancel your own movie. Well, I will say someone might not be eating their own words, but they might be eating a girl.

You guys ready for the celebrity conspiracy? Oh, no, Army, do you believe it? Did Army? is just straight up a murderer. Oh, yeah. Is this what Dumois was talking about? Because, again, I obsessed. Dumois is the Lady Whistledown of our generation.

Yes. Is this what Dumas was talking about with the big news story coming out about Army Hammer? Yeah, I think so. I think it's what they're alluding to. This is just the crazy. It's a wild conspiracy, but it's a bit fun. I don't know.

Everyone is saying how Army Hammer is like walking around in the Caribbean, like high-fiving people just like everything's great. No shirt on, no shoes, drinking his hand. Like, everything with him is great. Okay, so. Wait. What?

I have to find this, I have to read this tweet really quick before you get into it because it ties into our previous conversation. This tweet I've been laughing about for days from Jake Lowenthal who said, Army Hammer's existence, darkness aside, feels crafted by the 30 Rock Riders room. It's like if there was a famous actor air called Dunkin' Donut. And we were all just like, okay. But now I can't hear Army Ever's Day without thinking Dunkin' Donkidonaut.

And now, weirdly enough, I'm thinking about Dunkeroo's, which I missed for my child. Yeah, dip it, dip it in that frost, boy. But either way, this actually does again, thank you so much for everybody who wrote in. I used a lot of your content this week because of as per usual, the blind items were also a bit shallow this week. But I will say this one comes in from Alex, who says, first, just want to say that your podcast is pretty much the only thing keeping me sane these days.

So thank you. Thank you, Alex. And I just also want to say, of course, as with everything that comes with Army Hammer, this one gets a little dark. Good Lord. This from Alex, here's the theory. But more importantly, I have a celebrity theory for you that I believe I have seen floating around TikTok and thought it was a,

of grave foreshadowing importance to share. That the gray, in parentheses, foreshadowing because he said the word grave. So we all know that there are the accusations of Army Hammer being a cannibal that you guys shared on the pot a few weeks ago. There have been some developments in the story lately. His PR team quit a few days ago. And since then, it has come out that Army has been working in construction mid-pandemic while in between acting jobs.

During the six months of his employment in construction, 10 to 15 minutes away from the site, the remains of three different women have been found. And by the way, Jackie, this is out in by Joshua Tree. So it would seem that the only reason his PR agent would quit is because something so absolutely awful is about to service about him. Is he under investigation currently? Could it be that he is actually a murderer?

My vote is yes, because there is something very suss going on here, but I would love to hear what you guys think. thanks for the Among Us reference as well. And then I just wrote, construction, question mark, exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point. I had to do a little digging. But yes, back in October of 2020, Army Hammer appeared on Jimmy Kim alive where he talked about fixing up an abandoned motel with a friend in California. He said, it was this kind of abandoned rundown motel. And I came back from the Cayman Islands where I was, where I was during quarantine.

And I was like, dude, I have nothing to do. And he was like, do you want to come live with me in this abandoned? motel and do construction with me. And so he went. Also, yes, I did essentially confirm the remains have been found not far from the construction site in 2020. And this is what prompted several conspiracy theorists to link them to hammer. However, nothing else suggests these are connected in any way. There's no actual like investigation happening from what I can see unless it's top secret. but he definitely, I mean, how much of a setup for a horror movie is that? This rich mogul comes back from the Cayman Islands with a lust to kill.

He ends up out in the desert with his buddy in an abandoned motel where he's, quote, doing construction. And then also just girls remains. I just, 10 minutes away. You know, I just, I truly don't trust anyone that comes from that. kind of generational wealth. I think he's a fucking serial killer. I think that he thinks he can get away with absolutely whatever and that he can

pay for anything. Don't you remember the fucking jinx? I think that in the same way that it is difficult for me to trust any teenager, I do feel the same way about someone with that kind of generational wealth and they'd have to really prove otherwise

and I think that he's a serial killer. Pandemic is a serial killer. gold mine. Everyone's massed. Generational wealth. Serial killer until proven otherwise. Yes, until proven. All of them.

Well, maybe not all of them. Just ones where it's like lots of rumors. I feel like we should look into it. We should look into it. I mean, think about it. And evidence, I mean, evidence of cannibalism. Think about it. You're a serial killer.

You're a serial killer. You're ramping up to be one. Everyone has to wear masks. Everyone's desperate. I know this is very dark, but one of the women was just like on a like fuck pandemic solo road trip. You know what I mean?

Just wanted to get the fuck out. Oh my God. Are you having a, you're having a juice bomb, aren't you? I am. That's my favorite beer that I had to say goodbye to in New York. I feel like you did that to spite me because I moved to L.A.

Whatever, Molly. Were you dead to me? I didn't know. I really thought you were talking about my pussy for a second. I was like, what do you know? What do you mean? That was your nickname in volleyball class. Juice bomb.

I was like, I guess, but no, I'm talking to a serial killer. Why not really my thing? I am looking at pictures of Octorial Orphi, so maybe that's why I'm getting juicy. Well, hey, can we get a little juicy on this conspiracy theory? What do you think, ladies? Yes. Yeah, I hate to say it, but I 100% like actually, I mean, I wish that it did involve, you know, people who were dead because I wish it's, otherwise it is so funny, but it's not funny because of that. And, but yeah, a hundred percent, the guy totally, like, those texts were not just regular

sex. He clearly has abuse issues that doesn't make you a serial killer, but he clearly loves cannibal play. It doesn't make you a cannibal necessarily. No. As Jackie said, deeply untrustworthy generational wealth. I think it all adds up. I got to say, I actually do think that this.

And also, all of those people quitting actually does point to something. very, very, very bad. Right? I believe. I like really believe. We believe. All right. I can't argue with that. I usually don't weigh in, but I believe. We believe.

I also do believe in thanking you guys for writing in to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Because I got really excited because you all know I love Groundhog Day. and we were talking about Groundhog Day last week. And apparently we're not the only ones that love Groundhog Day. And apparently it's referred to as Armadillo Day in Texas. And Justin wrote in, I just want to say thank you so much, adding in possibly a new character to our Groundhog movie that we were coming up with. Because Be Cave Bob, the Armadillo, is what is taken out in Texas

to find out if it's going to be wet. or more dry, I would assume. I know that there are seasons in parts of Texas. It's a very big state. I do know that. But I think that was like my little joke. That was my little joke about it, that they don't have as many seasons.

But then there's Octario, Octoraro Orfei. That's not a name. Yes, it is, and it's the name of the one true groundhog, Holden. Wait, he wield a sword or something that's ridiculous. Beth wrote in, this is great.

Beth wrote in, thank you so much, Beth. Beth grew up about two minutes away from another weather predicting groundhog, the one, it's also in Pennsylvania. He's called Octorero. Octorero, Octorero, Orfe. I hadn't said it aloud until this. I'd just been reading about it.

They refer to him as the one true groundhog and are very insistent that he is superior to Punksitani Phil. So the lodge that supports Octora... What is it wrong with me? Octororo! It's a shit name!

It's a fucked name. That's not you. That's not your bad brain. Call him by his last name. Yeah, what's last name? Orffi. Orffi makes me the glow orfinity. Call him Mr. Orffi.

Good God. That name is atrocious to say. I'm not even going to tip to it. Mr. Orfe is supported by a men's club. And the men's club also chooses one new member each year to dunk in the creek next to the lodge. It's Pennsylvania in February, so at times this is required cutting a hole in the ice to dunk a grown man in long johns and a top hat in. Did I mention they wear top hats?

It's a spectacle, and it's been around since 1908. So thank you so much, Beth, and I'm going to have to try and get out there to watch it some year because I do, you know what? I'm a sucker for watching those polar bear dives. I think it's a lot of fun. I kind of love watching old people be like, I'm still strong. And I'm like, fuck yeah, you are. And that's all I have to say. That's my Groundhog update.

But it is time for the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Oh, it is a different new one today. Yes, today I'm talking about food origins that'll make you say, huh, wish I hadn't read that. And I had some smiles when it came to reading this.

because apparently lemons were the hydroxychloroquine. Queen, quine? Both of the 1918 pandemic. Sure. Lemons became a superfood because jagoff politicians, fear-mongering newspapers, and big citrus teamed up to hawk them as a fruit foe to the flu virus. This increased the price of lemons, did exactly jackdingus to ward off the flu, and gave people a false sense of security.

but at the same time, great for your metabolism to put a little lemon slice in your water at the beginning of the day. But it doesn't keep the flu away. And it also doesn't keep those damn Nazis off of our Fanta. Did you know that we have Nazi Germany to blame for Fanta? I don't understand what, Fanta? I don't understand why this writer is so against it. I'm not saying that it's the best, but it's a delicious mixer. at times.

Yes. But apparently that Nazi Germany, since they'd kind of sort of made mortal enemies with any other country that could get them good Coca-Cola syrup, one poor sap was tasked with making soda out of whatever Germany had lying around. Max Keith was able to make a passable drink out of apples and beet sugar. Yeah, Fonto's delicious. This writer needs to relax. Yeah, it's definitely not bad.

No, it's very good. I mean, Nazis are bad, but Fanta is fine. Page 7 definitely wants to communicate the fact that we feel that Nazis are bad. Yes, but Fanta is fine. Oh, look at that kitty. Sorry, I'm enjoying Molly's cat here. This kitty is really trying to record with me. I like it.

Get the baby up here. Yeah, does the cat have any hot takes on The Weekend or Britney Spears? Is the cat going to start licking its own paws and create aspartame? Because that's what happened when a chemist licked his. fingers. Good job, Jackie. James Shatter was so busy working on an ulcer treatment that he didn't have time to wash his hands between experimentation and paperwork. He licked his finger to turn a page and noticed it tasted good as hell.

That's aspirin, baby. So I don't get that part of it because in my head of like what was on his fingers. Was it the ulcer treatment that was on his fingers? And he licked it and he thought that tasted good. So does it fight ulcers? I don't know. I'm not a scientist. Dr. James Schlatter is the scientist.

This is a weird one this week. This is a weird one. I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. I didn't say it was a bad one. Our list said it was a weird one. Moving away from pop culture.

Yeah. What is this? You know, we get the pop culture one sometimes. But then it's like I thought that you needed to know. that graham crackers are supposed to suppress your naughty thoughts. So the 19th century, Minister Silvestro. That's so boring. That's such a boring solution.

Invented his special grain biscuit because anything tastier might give you impure thoughts. Somewhere along the line, someone put cinnamon and sugar on top, and mankind hasn't stopped. Forking since. I just feel like, is this the origin of gizzen the crackers? Maybe. Is that where it comes from? Is the opposite effect?

Maybe. Did you ever play that game? Never played that game. I don't, has anyone really played that game besides like a various? Marcus. No, they just, like, he just jerked off in a room with people. I don't think they actually. Oh, okay.

He didn't do the cracker thing. That's the part. Well, all of it's bad, but, I mean, it's not bad. I mean, do whatever you want. Is it bad? Is it not bad at all? Arrest me, police. Is it bad at all?

Jerk off, you know, As long as we ever, it's fine with it. I don't think he's proud of that at a moment. You know what I mean? I mean, it's a moment. I think it's just boys will be boys. Let's call him. Let's call him.

Let's call him. Mark, remember when you said that at a round table 20 years ago? But first, we should maybe give him a bowl of corn flakes because corn flakes are supposed to suppress your desire to jerk off. John Harvey Kellogg wanted to realize Sylvester Graham's dream of no one masturbating ever again. So we invented a plain tasteless lake, scientifically the most unfuckable cereal shape that we might break fast an unhorny piece. I do think that maybe the person writing this took a little liberty when it came to that one. I think that they are, I see them at the, like they're actually not at the cracked office. They're probably at their studio apartment.

They just need another $60 to literally buy a week's worth of meals. And like, this is the result. I get it. I mean, I'm the one reading the list. But I did think that it was interesting that the filial fish was made so Roman Catholics would eat, could eat garbage food on Fridays. McDonald's introduced their unspeakable fish slab in 1965. So Roman Catholics would have no excuse not to buy their burgers on Fridays. It's still an extremely popular item during Lent.

And you know what, y'all? Lent is coming up. It is coming up and are you ready to not care about it? I don't care, but I do know I make lamb on Easter, and that's all I care about. I do know my wife gives something up for it every year, and I get to deal with that. Ooh, that'll be a fun one. And just in case you wanted one more, sushi was originally old fish in fermented rice. The rice and sushi combo wasn't exactly the,

the All-Star tag team we know today. The rice was basically packing peanuts. Fish was wrapped in fermented rice to preserve it for up to a year. Eventually, someone thought to replace gross rice with tasty rice that actually could be, you know, eaten and enjoyed. Very fun. Interesting. That was a good one.

Isn't it interesting? That is interesting. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I forgot that someone that actually works with trout, told me last week that our conspiracy theory was actually wrong. Oh, and how so? So I actually, thank you so much, Tyler.

I actually studied trout, but never heard about shaking fake and o's of fish. Funnily enough, the scientific name for rainbow trout is, well, I can't say it, but let's say the end of it ends in my kiss, abbreviated, oh, my kiss. So please put away at that story putting the O in O my kiss. And by the way, the English translation of that species name is Lump Nose Rainbow. Another great scientific name, the order of mammals that contains hedgehogs and moles, is Yulafo Typhla. This translates to truly fat and blind, which I think is something that could also be referred to me as. And thank you so much, Tyler.

And whatever to you back. I am going blind. Good. Oh. Oh, I mean, we can't see him. Items, I mean. We can't see it. All right, so here we go.

I'm sorry, Molly. I ruined it. I ruined it for both of us. I also was supposed to say, I think I'm going. Then I wait for you guys to save blind. You guys off in either way. I think I'm going. Blind.

Items. Oh, we can see them. So I wanted to give a really quick note about last week's M-night Shamaelon Dildo Blind. Shout-outs to Fiona, Rihanna, and Heidi for supplying it. And they also just wanted us to know that that dildo ended up living an employee lost and found for months and months because no one wanted to touch it. So thank you again for that. I do believe them.

And I'm going to blow past the boring, uninteresting blind since we've gone over. So that's fantastic. Thank you so much for that, sparing me that one. And we'll just get into the good stuff. So this one again. And again, page seven is the number seven, page seven podcast at gmail.com. I mean, this is all coming in from you guys. And we, it really does.

It helps us. And also, I just love the interaction and getting to speak through you and your blinds. So this one comes in from Justin from Canada, who also says, thank you for all the laughs. You all are amazing. I love you. Are you Trudeau? Hi, Hold on. Are you Castro's son?

Oh, my God. Please let us know. Hi, Holden. My hairdresser told me about an experience he had back in the 90s with this one-hit wonder artist from the 80s. He was flown out from Toronto to L.A. on the dime of this singer to do the hair for a fashion show the singer was putting on for his underwear line. He was brought up to a penthouse where there were a bunch of women cutting the tags off Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs and gluing David Beckham's face to the crotch. The walls were covered in TVs that were all showing gay porn. After an hour, the singer came out of the bathroom, visibly on cocaine, and hugged him. The singer has a notable hairstyle that was missing, and in the place was a giant dragon tattoo on the back of his head.

The next day, my hairdresser was at the location of the show and began to work. The singer showed up three hours late and immediately ran into the bathroom and began doing cocaine for hours and only came out at the end to walk the runway and show off his, quote, work. The next day, all over the news was the story of the singer's arrest. Apparently he went home after doing the show and continued doing drugs. He heard a noise in his apartment and thought there was a break in and called the police without clearing off the table

of all his narcotics. Do you know this 80s singer? One hit one, I think he had more than one hit, but pretty much one hit wonder. Uber 80s singer. Did you say Canadian? This guy is from Canada. Okay, but they are not Canadian.

No, he was flown out from Toronto to L.A. on the dime of this singer. So the hairdresser was flown to L.A. And, okay. Slash? No, singer. Okay, but also notable hairstyle, right? Singer, yeah, two words in the title.

Two words in the title. What is that? In his name, in his name. Oh, but so he's not a one-named singer. No. Two-named singer, one-hit wonder, hairstyle, notable hairstyle who loves cocaine from the 80s. Everybody loved cocaine in the 80s.

Everybody loves cocaine in the 80s. But he was known for really loving cocaine in the 80s. He, the first word is a name for a child. A gendered name for... Boy George? Yeah, there you go. You got a boy George.

There's so many ways. Well, he got notably was arrested for, drug use, though. He was notably arrested for drug use. There were clues in there a little bit, but yeah, I get how it's hard. Yeah, there were some clues in there but that makes, I mean,

I just, you know what? Boy, George. I just love the story. That's fantastic. I love the part where his fashion line was Fruit of the Loom underwear, the tags of which they just cut off and then glued David Beckham's face to the crotch was

his fashion line. That was fashion. And he came out of the bathroom just to like walk the run. He came out of the bathroom doing cocaine in the bathroom just to walk the runway. And then went home and got arrested. But either way. I love how cocaine people just like get themselves arrested. Like all he had to do is just sit in his home and keep doing cocaine.

But you get so paranoid that you call the cops on yourself, which is the funniest thing in the world to me. At least put it away. I think it's also that like idea of like, what are they going to do arrest me? Yeah. Yeah. They're going to arrest you. But I did the Chameleon song.

And also the boss got arrested just a couple of months ago for drunk driving. They just released that today. So if the boss can get arrested, anybody can get arrested. So this has been barely a blind item segment because this next one and last one is actually a new fish fuck theory coming in from Allie. But we definitely want you guys to weigh in on it. So let's hear it. Allie says, okay, I have a theory about the Tom Cruise fish thing. Now, just know that I want nothing more than to have the fish fucking theory be true.

But if it's not, could it be that he takes these fish in the bathroom to beat the crap out of them to get his rage in check, or even getting into the proper mind space for a fight scene, very method? I'm thinking it's sort of like the boxers who practice by punching the hanging sides of beef, except fish are more portable and not as expensive as cow. All the stories seem to have the same things in common. He has a long history of doing his own stunts. All stories seem to take place when he was on location filming, takes himself much too seriously, all panicky before choosing said fish,

very relaxed after the visit to the bathroom with the fish. Fish remains in the bathroom and is in bad shape when it's found. I'm wondering if beating up a fish makes him look jacked post fish beating, like the guys who do push-ups before they have to go somewhere, where people would see them with no shirt on. So that's my theory. Please don't tell my boss I'm using my work email for things that aren't work. Thank you so much.

I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for that. I love this. And I would love, you know what? I would definitely watch a video of him just like, ugh. I hate this fish. Yook!

It's my favorite theory. It's my favorite alternative to fucking theory that we have heard so far. Yes. No one spoke of smacking sounds, which I feel like would be very awesome. from standing just outside a bathroom. Also, I guess he could put gloves on or maybe wrap himself in paper towels or something, but wouldn't you,

wouldn't the scales possibly cut your fists upon punching them? I mean, that's also a question about fucking it, though, isn't it? Yes, and also, have you ever dealt with the whole fish before? I feel like one thing that they would bring up is that, you know, I've cooked whole fish

before. You get scales everywhere. Yes. So if he was beaten his shit out of a fish, I think that there would be scales everywhere. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But what if he was fucking a fish? Would there be scales everywhere? Depends on how he's fucking it.

All right, if somebody, because I don't think any of us are up to this task, all right, but if some sick lunatic out there could please do a couple things for us from a couple different grocery stores, go get a full fish and then take it to the grocery store bathroom.

One time, fuck it. Another time, another time beat the shit out of it. Okay, okay. Take it not to the bathroom at the grocery store. take it home and in the privacy of your home have sex with it and just look at what. Again, I'm going to say I don't want to encourage people.

Or beat the shit out of it and let's just like see. That is fine. That's fine. At least beat the shit out of the fish. Maybe don't fuck. I mean, I think it's already dead. It's not like illegal, right, to do that? I think it is.

Are you fetish-shaming? Are you fetish-shaming right now? I think it's frowned upon. Oh, okay. I don't think that a combination of bestiality and necrophilia is fetish-shaving. If you think fucking a deadfish is problematic, write in page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is the number 7. Thank you again, everybody wrote in.

And don't worry, I have a lot of unread blind items and conspiracy theories. So it's very possible that yours will get on an upcoming episode. I love the fact that we are backlogged at this point with amazing stuff from y'all. So thank you again. And I can see. I cannot thank you enough. I'm so happy you can see. And I do want to throw a thank you out to everyone that joined us for.

watching New Moon last week. I had a great time watching New Moon with everybody. I laid in the floor until I died. I loved it so much. Molly, I'm not sure if you are aware, but Bella does in the beginning of the book gets so upset that she lays on the forest floor ready to die.

And she was just going to lay there until she died. And she does do it in the movie. I'm glad it transcended from the book. And you can watch Natalie Holden and I watching New Moon on the Patreon. If you wish, if that is what makes you smile, we are there. And it is, you know what? It's really, really dumb movie.

And I am continuing on into Eclipse. I've got two chapters out of Eclipse so far. And I am here for it. I don't know if this is the book where I find out why I shouldn't be in love with the werewolf, but it might be. and I'm very scared about it. But you know what? You gotta be souped me

that I actually am a twi baby now for real. Thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode of page 7. My name is Jackie, and you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. If that is your wishes. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcasts. Also, check us out, Jackanese,

every Friday night on my Twitch, twitch.tv.tv. F.m. slash Holdenators Ho. It's an amazing group of people. We all hang out and get drunk. And I'm super excited to celebrate my big move into my new apartment stream. And it's going to be a very special stream, let's just say, for a couple reasons. So you should tune in this week. Molly? My name is Molly Neffle.

I am MJKLK.L.C.L.C. on Instagram. And I do want to say quick, real quick, because I have to commend myself when sometimes I'm right. we all were it wasn't the mandela effect we if you also agreed with me thinking that like we thought that dust and diamond possibly was a creep but we just thought that for some reason and maybe i thought maybe it was because of the porno we had multiple people right in saying no he is a creep he is a creepist he definitely likes young women and i guess would definitely hit on people and creep real hard on people that did not want it so Technically, we were right. And that's just how that goes. And I just need you guys to remember that. And you were right, too, if you felt the same way. I love you.

We'll talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.