Page 7 - Ep. 392: Bishes for Beaches

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

We goss about the Golden Globes, more Hilaria Baldwin drama, and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is a YouTuber predicting upcoming celebrity deaths?!?!?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I've got technically a great song stuck in my head, but I didn't realize how creepy it was until you start singing it over and over and over again. Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me. Anyone else but me. Anyone else but me? No, no, no. Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else than me. the song has never been sung like that but that is my you know what welcome jackie zabrowski

singer-songwriter jackie zabrowski there are no other singer-songwriters in this podcast hosting job and it's difficult for me to carry it on my shoulders like this i reinvent i create and welcome also my co-host Molly and Holden. Singer, songwriter, pianist Holden McNeely. Thank you so much. I purchased a piano and I know the C major scale now, so I would like to be introduced as such. And I heard that pause.

That was more pregnant than my fucking wife. Wow. That pause. Okay. Okay, Mr. Piness, Holden McNeely. And as the singers are, I'd like to say all through history, sitting under the apple tree,

It's just one in a million metaphorical phrases for having sex. Of course, don't go honking, no one else is Jerry. Don't go slipping on no one else's filthy slide. All these are different metaphorical phrases we've known for a million years. And so it's not creepy. It's just saying don't be sucking on some other dudes D. Well, I'm busy at work bringing home that cheta. Biblical.

Right? It can still be creepy. It can still be. What if they're just casually sitting under the ice? apple tree. And this guy is over here, like, don't you go sitting under the apple tree with anyone else. If I saw my wife sitting under the apple tree with another human being, I don't care if it's Barack Obama, okay? I am gone. I am going to be wrong for you. Lex will never talk to you ever again. You got fucking Barack on the line? Are you kidding me? Just be like, what do they do? What do they talk? What could they

possibly be communicating about under this fucking app? Don't you remember the photo shoot where he smoked the cigarettes and he had on the silly cute hat. Yes. Of course. Okay. But I have a question, though. Is your, if you have like a celebrity pass list with your partner for sex, is it going to be the same list for who your partner is allowed to sit under the apple tree with in a

literal way? I guess the question is, do you want them to have an emotional affair with Barack Obama, but not a physical affair? You know what I mean? Because I think sitting under the apple tree could also imply like that's where they really go to be heard and understand. when you are not providing that for that. And we don't think and talk enough about the difference between emotional cheating and straight getting comeed on cheating.

Right? And I think that is important. But that's the problem, though, because for both of our passes, it is Noel Fielding and Matt Berry. And I feel like if I sat under the apple tree with either one of them, how am I not going to fall emotionally in love with them? as they perform for me as we're eating these juicy, sloppy apples. Apples aren't always sloppy, but what happens when they are? And I will say maybe emotional cheating for me would be sitting under that tree with Taylor Swift and talking about being singer-songwriters and what that means to us.

And then physical cheating would probably be Emma Stone and some sort of just some cheap, dirty motel, you know what I mean? Just not even trying to live it up. just really doing it in the dark, seedily. We can hear a drug deal outside. Ooh. It is a different thing, right? Like, right, I would want to have, I would want to have sit under the bedroom tree with Idris Elba,

but I would want to sit under the apple tree with like, probably still Conoroburst. I haven't really aged out that much from that. Really moved past it, not at all. I get that. Still there. Still there. Still there. I love the idea of a tree just filled with beds.

You're just like. We should probably get out from under here. One of these giant beds is probably going to completely fall on us and kill us. No, that's why you get up in the beds and then you have like a tree house beds. Wouldn't that be sick? No, because I'm going to fucking a cemetery. You can do that too. You have to get, you have to give your respect over to the past.

Don't fuck in the cemetery with anybody else but me. And the ghosts. And everyone else with me. And all those ghosts and anyone else from me. Oh, no. The ghost is inside of me. Please let us watch. Of course.

See, that's he now there. Exhibitionism, right? All right. Come on. We are writing a song together, so we're all singer-songwriters. Technically, I'm the... Properly a singer-songwriter because I have the piano. But you guys can call yourself semi-singer songwriters, S-S-S.

I have a piano, too, and I probably technically know how to play more piano than new, because I took several years in middle school. Are you challenging me to a piano duel? Are you challenging me to doling pianos? I'm challenging you to a piano duel because you are an actual musician and you're actually very good of music, but only because you don't yet know how to play piano, I might be able to, like, I've still,

when I send you the baby onesies that I'm going to send you, maybe I should send you my, like, level one, two, and three books that I still have from learning piano. So I might be able to play up on the house top, you know, on the piano. But not, you know, so I might be able to beat you at Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. There you go. Next live show with Molly and Holden together. A piano.

Can I be Judge Jackie? And you will be the judge. Yes. Judge Jackie's in charge. Can I get a bailiff? Sure, you're going to get a bailiff. But it has to be someone who none of us know, not even you. Oh, unprejudiced bailiff.

So we kind of, we're on edge a little bit, right? Because we don't know this grown man on stage with us, right? The judge is going to be prejudiced, although I don't know who she's more prejudiced against or Torrance you or me, but the bailiff can't be prejudiced. We have to ensure the neutrality of the bailiff. What's his name? His name is like trucks. Nightcourt.

What's the name of the bailiff? Oh, what is his name? That's so weird. Why is Nightcourt keep coming up lately? Maybe I need to go back and watch it. I feel like it's like the third time Nightcourt has come up. Yeah, Nightcourt. I think about Nightcourt a lot because Gideon used to go to night court.

Bull! Bull! It's bull. Bull, that's what we'll get. Oh my guys, Richard Moe's still alive. Yes, he is. He's 78. I'm getting bull.

We're going to have bull on stage. And I'm getting the bailiff from Judge Judy, and we're going to have a bailiff off to figure out who gets to be the bailiff of the piano off. Can we watch them kiss if they both consent because I would watch that. If they consent to making out, they can both be the bailiff, but if they're fight, then they have to fight to the death. Wow, this is going to be a really good show. It's going to start with the bailiff off and then a kiss off and then a piano off from my elementary school piano songs.

And I'm just going to be hammered in the background, asshole. Just like, yes, ma' kissing, more music. Oh, my God, then I'll be dressed like Ursula. Oh, my goodness. I love that. This is great, guys. See, this is where, this is where dreams are made up. There you go.

Ever since I've become a professional pianist slash singer-songwriter, I've realized some things, and I've realized that peace is love, and love is all you need. So I'm going to be singing some songs about that and about my future baby's feat, because now that I'm a singer-strangwriter with a child on the way, I'll be singing a lot.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Don't know your name yet. Ooh, I like that. But don't talk about their, what is the feet song going to be? Little tiny, I don't know, I feel like parent to be, or parents of babies, singer, songwriters are like, tiny little hands make the mystery of that. Like, they just sing dumb shit lyrics like that about their kids, no one cares. So people just want to hear breakup songs and shit, you know what I mean? Or like about like tripping balls or something and heavy rock and roll.

And instead, once they become dads, it becomes that like, look at your eyes. They never grow. You know what I mean? Or whatever that dumb shit is. Look forward to Holden McNeely's children's album coming out that is just a bunch of songs about him being a father. They're all going to be about different anatomy parts. Yeah, it's just different tiny parts of them.

Tiny parts. Tiny little parts is what it's called. You, tiny little parts. It's for babies and dads. Oh, I think that, are you going to name your child Dahlia? Because that would be really a wrap it all in. Maybe. So, yes, we were bringing up Holden is a singer-songwriter now

because he bought a keyboard, and he has a keyboard in his house now. Thank you for recognizing that. And we're waiting to be regaled. Thank you for recognizing that. Yeah, I mean, right, we got nothing but time here on the show, Holden. I promise a song on the show very soon. I'm learning my scales right now. And honestly, I'm holding back because I don't,

I'm just going to go ahead and say this. I don't think you're ready to hear it. jelly. Yeah, for this. I thought you already knew all about scales. Aren't you a lizard? Oh, right. Let's talk. Let's do this show. Please, can we get into the show? I have fired today.

What do you think? I just saw an article that I did not send to you guys, but Fixer Upper Star, Jojo Gaines. Yes. Which I've been getting back on the Chip and Jojo train lately because of dumb fuck Discovery Plus.

Apparently, she says she's getting tattoo of the number 16 whenever Chip dies. And this is what I love about their relationship. There is an article where she was talking about Chip dying. And the first thing she's going to do is the number 16 because that is Chip's favorite number. So, all right, there's the question for you. Discuss. That's the prompt. Discuss. What is it? What is, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, you're going to get, because I'm going to get Jeff's entire face on my back. I actually, there was somebody who was psyched about DuneCast, DuneCast coming soon, a really cool tattoo artist that I started following who does really good portraits.

And seems like this might be kind of a fan. And I was like, ooh, should I get a giant T. Swift on my like, fine. By the way, shout out to the artist who drew me being cradled by Taylor Swift. She is sending me a print and I'm going to frame it. and put it on my wall. I love it so much while I cradle my baby. It is so good.

And she wrote, this is Taylor Swift protecting Holden from all of the tears of the world. And I really super love it. So yeah, also, Taylor Swift, speaking of, has 13.

This person has 16. Do you guys have a number? Because I don't. Lexi has 7 and 11. As a favorite number? Do you guys have a number? Yeah. Your secret about it?

No. Okay. The way you ask that question. Yeah, the way you ask that question was like, oh, it is it like a secret number that we can't tell us? No, it's 17, but that's my birthday is the 17th. So I feel like a lot of people probably have the number that is their birthday is their favorite number. T. Swift, 13, Lexi's 7 and 11, but also like 7 is like biblical for her is important.

I forget the importance of 11 outside of her birthday. birthday, but it also... Her birth month. Yeah, it's her birth month, but I think there's other things that she's really into numerology, right? So there's a lot of things about those numbers. Do you have a number, Jackie? No, I mean, 59, I guess, because I always put 59 in things because it was 10 away from 69, and I thought that that was like a silly, silly, silly, silly sly way. Because you're like, bad girl, not bad girl, because that's exactly who you are. And yeah, that's why mine's 420. I missed the opportunity to say 420. I went first, I really, I really should. should have said that, I apologize.

It wasn't a missed opportunity. It was a bad choice on my part to say it. And you said a good thing. I will say, I think my numerology number is nine and the other system number almost seven. So I guess I should probably go towards those. I consider myself physically to be a six. So I think I'm going to go with that one. Wow, six.

When you die, Lexi is going to be like, I have a six tattooed on me because my husband was a six out of ten. And then it makes me think of him. He was a true six in every sense of the word. That's like her eulogy for me. In every way he was a six, personality-wise, physically. Just not that great, but better than failure. And middling. Isn't that great?

That's all we can hope for is a little bit better than average. It's all we get up for. You know, I hate to, I do not follow Chip and Jojo closely anymore. I have not been. watching either something happened to my brain where in the last year I haven't been watching either food shows or home shows. I'm not sure why. Those used to be my only shows that I watched and now I just want to watch things about people being murdered. But I do, and I've said before, I'll say it again, they seem to really like each other. And I like that in a famous

marriage because so much marriage on TV is like, ah, fuck that guy. And I really like that they're like, oh, I love you all the time, you know? They really are. And the fact that, oh, I'm having a lot of feelings because of sister wives this week, but I've no one to talk to you about it. And you're about to be a wife yourself, so I bet that's starting to click in a little bit too. Sister and a wife. Yes, I am both a sister and a wife. It does sound like I'm marrying Henry, but I promise, I'm not. I am going to really try not to because I know we make Natalie and I's relationship complicated. But apparently though, sister wives say that in plural marriage, a lot of time sisters, actual sisters,

marry the same man and become sister wives since you are already so close and it creates a further bond of family for the rest of time. Shit's going down on sister wives right now. And I watched a lot of it last night by myself and I have to stop the game. I don't even know why I started talking about sister wives.

Well, shit's going down. Well, obviously you sent us a bunch of articles, none of them are related to what you have initially brought up in the show, and it sounds like this discovery app is really starting to take hold of your entire brain. None of the stories we've read at this point have anything to do with these two, Chip, Chip and Jojo, or... You should know Chip and Jojo, though. I think that you could argue that the Hilaria Baldwin story is tangentially related to sister wives

because it just seems slightly culty. Slightly off. Well, real quick. When you say shit's going down to Sipsterwives, like is the government getting involved again? Or is it just the day-to-day drama? I mean, the government was involved. They are openly, like, working on, like,

it is part of the show that they are working to try and ratify the laws in Utah that make plural marriage illegal, but that's a whole other side of it. It is, I don't, I don't, I feel like once they start talking about it, I can't stop talking about it, though. But it is, let me just say, TLD read,

what is it? Too long didn't read. TLD read. TLD didn't read. So you essentially made it so it still is like laborious to say it out loud. TLD read. Part of living in the principle is that it is very open for, that if a wife is unhappy,

that they are allowed to leave. It is a, it is, like, the family is run by the wives, which is like, it's almost like an oligarchy, right? But at the end of the day, it is still a monarchy because the husband, at the end of the day, has the final say, but he also doesn't want to make all of his wives upset. So really, they do work together. But Cody Brown, who is the center of sister wives,

is starting to falter with his faith, that he has been, he's been married to multiple women for 30 some odd years. He grew up in the principal. This is something that he knew that he was ordained by God to live. And his, his truth, his faith is starting to falter, and they don't know what to do. Because he can't leave. He can't shatter all of their families. And they're talking about their shit at a pizza alf. Fordo at 1 p.m.

And I'm just like, this is a groundbreaking conversation. This is, did you imagine trying to wrap your head around the idea not like, I don't want to be married to them anymore? Oh, my relationship. It's that the bedrock of his faith is being shattered

right now. And that's through everything that is happening in our world because this is season 15 is being shot over this past year. So all of this stuff is wrapped into it and I'm watching this. I'm just like, this is nuts

to watch. But that's also because I've watched 15 seasons. Yeah. And I'm very entwined in their lives. Yeah. That's fucking crazy, man. That's it. That's what. Poor Jeff.

Jeff will come in and he always knows I've been watching sister wives because then I'll talk and I'm like, I never want a sister wife. The idea of it is very intriguing. The idea, of raising a family in a communal type living situation so that you have other like aunts and uncles that are always around. I am intrigued by that.

But that happens all the time in this country, but they're not fucking each other. Without sister wives, yeah. Yeah, without the actual wiving up of the same, of different women part. So like, that's normal. What you're intrigued in is actually something that we're all striving for even now out here in L.A., essentially while people are starting to have kids. We just don't, and then you don't have to have a weird, awkward situation with Lexi because I'm slamming both of you down. No, I would never want it. I would never, I'm too jealous of a human being.

But like in the last episode, one of the wives, they're having like a really difficult time. So the other wife steps up to help them talk through it. Right. Because no one knows the two of them in their relationship as much as the sister wives. Can you imagine having someone that knew both of you equally to be able to talk through your problem? problems with? Yeah, I think that, right, I think that Holden is right that you can have this kind of life without being a big list.

I don't want a sister wife. I will never share, Jeff. I am very territorial. I need everyone to know this. Then you're going to be fine. Then you're just going to have friends that, you know, and by the way, you're talking, you're describing a couple's counselor, I think is what you're talking about. They have a couples counselor.

Of course they have a couple's counselor. I understand, Jackie. I think that you're longing for, and I had this when I watched Big Love too, that, that even though Holden is right and that you can kind of make a non-creepy version of this type of community, it is something that, especially you realize when you have kids, is that it is like our lives are not really structured around communal living, right? They're like, and they're not really structured around like multi-generational child rearing. And the whole, it takes a village thing, right?

It's like way more individualized. And so when I was watching Big Love, I was like, I would love to have a big backyard with a giant table and several other families and share a yard, I just don't want them all to be slamming my husband. Yes, yes. Unless I get to watch, unless I can watch. That is, I think, usually not part of it. And what's usually not part of it when it comes to childbirth is having two kids in six months.

Wow, good transition. Good transition. We've been dancing around the story the whole episode. So we've noticed that now that I'm a singer-songwriter pianist, I'm much better transition. Little things that just... I want to hear a flourish, Holden. I need, you need to start working already. You want to start doing transitions.

I want flourishes. I need to start recording flourishes. I want to start uploading said flourishes. All right. I'll do the Jurassic Park theme. Do do do do do do. Oh, I love that. That then plays every time we do a segue on this show.

You have to play the entire Jurassic Park theme song. That would be kind of amazing. With strings. If I had the piano right next to be set up and every time Jackie transition, I just did a little like, do-do-do, do-do, you know what I mean? Just a little kind of thing. Yeah, I bet that's not an editing nightmare at all for our producer. Mary, I think that she would love it.

Love it. I'm sure she's going up and down. She's going, yes, please do that. As she's listening to this right now. Everyone's in love with my journey. Go on. That's the name of your second son. Yes.

And that's the name of my first album. Everyone's love of my journey. My series is. Please. No, but everyone is. not in love with Hilaria. Baldwin, Shernie. Come on, Alden.

That's a good one. No flourish. I didn't even get a mouth flourish on that. Okay. That is good. We have to talk about this. All right. Hilaria Baldwin, we all know what's going on with her right now.

And, uh, or what was going on with her. And she kind of like dropped out of the limelight just for like half a second. And then she popped back up and she's got another baby. She had a baby six months ago. She now has another baby. The internet was like, excuse me, Hilaria Baldwin. Where'd you get that baby? And at first she was saying mommy's the word and not saying where she got the baby from.

But then they were open. And then they came out and said she and Alec Baldwin used a surrogate to have a baby that gave birth six months after the last baby that she had. And I wasn't going to bring this article up Because I was like, you know what? It's weird. The whole internet is like up in their business And they said, it's none of your business where we got the baby from. It's none of your business.

Why we got the baby. Until I read this article that really changed how I felt about it. This article is in a New York Post baby. Why Hilaria Baldwin needs to come clean on baby mama drama? Because I don't want to look into. someone's bullshit if they don't want me looking at it, right? But if there's drama about a baby mama,

I'm gonna get involved. I struggle sometimes with my back and forth of feeling like people, even celebrities, deserve privacy. They definitely deserve things that are just for them. I think that they are still human beings.

However, this article that was written by Joe Piazza, who also has a mommy blogger, podcast called Under the Influence, which is a podcast about the mommy blogger phenomenon. And she put it in a way that actually, no, we should be talking about these things. Because Hilaria Baldwin is a mommy influencer,

she went from being a yoga influencer that she gets paid money to be a mother. So this is a business move, which is a yucky thing to fucking say. But it is. Right. I am also of several minds on this and was at first like, okay, I guess, you know, whatever, you want to have a lot of kids in a small amount of time. And obviously, like, having, speaking openly about, like, having a surrogate is great.

Kim Kardashian did that. It was great. They should totally be destigmatized. They should be, like, covered by insurance for people who need them and they're not and they're very expensive. So, like, I think, you know, normalizing, destigmatizing, like, surrogates is really, really good and important. Please definitely do that. Yes. I supported 100%. Totally. There is just a couple of head scratchers in this story, one of which is right. Like, what, like, okay, so if you, I just, you were already pregnant with the one, with the older one.

You were three months pregnant with the older one, and then you decided to also then have a surrogate, do the other one. Okay, I guess that's your choice. You have four other older children. That will be the total of six. Okay. Individual choice. That's your choice. In November, she was asked, when she was pregnant with the one that everyone knew about, are you going to have another? And she said, no, I'm done. But if my math is correct, in November, when she was asked this, she would have already known that the surrogate was also pregnant. The surrogate would have already been pregnant because the surrogate just had this baby in early March or late February, right? So that baby was already in the pipe, in the works.

Yes, shoved up in that chute. That chute was stuff full of kindling. I'm sorry, kiddling. Man, I'm just really doing a good job today. You can't. You have to wait for us to compliment you, Jackie. You can't sit here and compliment yourself. And again, I'm torn on this too because if you were four months,

month's pregnant and somebody asked, are you having another? It's not your obligation to say I'm having another, right? Like that, it's your choice when you decide, when you disclose, how you space your babies, whatever. So, all of these things make me want to be like, this is none of our business. Again, however, her Instagram and her relationship, whatever, her relationship with her children, we don't know. But the way she uses the children on Instagram is incredibly, I think, if creepy is too strong a word, it's just like, these are the products, right? Yeah, it's excessive.

I'm looking at it right now, and it's like on display very, very intensely. It is to the point where, you know, we were making fun of the most recent douchebag on Married at First Site, Chris, who literally said in the first episode, My Kids Are My Brand, and you hear something like that, and you're like, wow, that sounds very, very bad.

And then it's like, yeah, her kids are clearly her brand and it's like videos photos and it's not not to say like go ahead go crazy go take a million pictures of your kids right but i think it's the difference between when they become a market right right and they become they become an ad thing right and that's what the article breaks down also i didn't understand i didn't know the exact metrics for um for this kind of stuff and the ad that i really enjoyed seeing that those numbers for like every 10 Oh, the ad revenues? Yeah, like for every 10,000 followers that you have, you could get like $100 per post if it's like a branded post.

And, you know, so that means for, you know, almost a million people that she has, that's a lot of money. Right. Yes. Per post. That's about $9,000 per post. And I do think that it's interesting in what this article also continued in bringing up that she thinks that Hilaria Baldwin is a marketing and publicity. genius. She's built an incredibly successful company around herself, and just like any successful company, she managed to change the conversation when her brand was threatened in December

when she was accused of cultural appropriation, when when everyone found out her real name is Hillary and she's from Massachusetts. And there's no better way for a public figure to pivot from a scandal than to show off a newborn. Even me saying that, I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted that people are ripping apart her thing for what she's doing. I'm disgusted that she does. I'm kind of just yucked out by the entire thing. But also, I guess I got to put something up my shoot. I got to make more money. I have to plan a wedding.

And if there is one way we all know you make more money is by having children. Right, Molly? Right. Holden. Have kids make more money. That's what everybody says. It's so tough too because it's like I don't want to accuse her of just like having kids to build her brand because like pregnancy is really intense and like nobody.

really, I don't think people like take it as lightly as people, uh, kind of talk about it. Like, all of that is in my head as we talk about this. I've always, before having kids, I thought it would be really fun to have six kids. So like having a big family, I still think it would be fun to have six kids. I just don't want six, five or six pregnancies. But, uh, like all of this, I want to be like, you do you, but there's just something about it that just feels weird. And I think it doesn't help that we, that the family that both of them, Alec and

Hilaria are just extremely bizarre, fucked up people who are like liars. And it just gives me the willies, you know? It just gives me the witties. Yeah, it's weird. It's also weird to me, too, the people that, like, love this kind of account. I just will never understand those people. I don't know. I just don't.

It is interesting to see how some of them live, even if it is in a way of, like, I can't believe this is some people's lives. Yeah. Even just lying about how. perfect their life is. I'm like, that's gotta be a struggle. It's a new account, honestly, on Instagram. And I mean, Instagram's full of this. And at the end of the day, I'd rather this than the opposite of, like, when it comes to like Twitter's just absolute negative, like, tailspin that that can be. But like, everybody just tries to show that they, anybody who

strives to show how perfect their life is, just on Instagram, at some part of me, just that, that, that angsty teen part of me that, that, loved, you know, Nirvana and Soundgarden just wants me to tell them to go fuck themselves. And I don't, but I would. And I think there's also distinctions, like, I, like, Mommy Blogger is a phrase that encompasses multitudes. And there's, like, I have come to find and follow, you know, some, like, mommy blogs that are very, very good and helpful in terms of, like, how to get your kids to eat things and

fun activities to do and art shit and whatever. And so like... Do you put peanut butter on the top of their mouth? Is that how you do it? Is that it? Just hide a Brussels sprout under there. But please continue. But like, so I've noticed like that there's a kind of like disdain for the idea of mommy

bloggers. And and so part of me is like, you know, parents, moms, whatever, blogging about like things, their experiences that can be helpful for other people. Like that can really be valuable and helpful for people. There's another genre of mommy blogger, though, that does make me very, very uncomfortable, which is your kids who don't have the ability to consent to have their, like, images shared and their stories shared, putting your kids' entire lives on the internet, it's different than sharing pictures of your family or whatever. Like, it's to churn out daily, like, stories, pictures, intimate conflicts, like things, like your child's fears and, you know,

things like that are really like not necessarily. Personal. Right. Things that if they find them when they're older, they're not going to like it, you know? Just you wait until they get old enough to, to not give their consent to this. And when the mom freaks out about that stuff,

and then we finally get those side videos that the kids start taking of them, forcing everybody into this, quote, like perfection that she's trying to force everybody into. And then the background of that, because you know one of these kids finally has enough and says, here's what mom's really like when she's trying to get us all

to pose for one of these dumb fucking sponsored photos. Yeah, like creating, basically creating child celebrities without them being like child actors, but just by virtue of being your kids, now everything they do is getting posted online. It just is tough. Again, I'm not like judging anybody for sharing pictures of their kids,

but turning your kids' lives into content. Into a YouTube channel. To make money off of. There's a real issue with that on YouTube right now where these kids are being forced to essentially perform and work for free every day of their childhood. And it's a real problem. And people are trying to get some of these channels shut down because it's clear there's abuse happening in those situations. It's disgusting. It's the same.

I mean, I felt a certain way, you know, I even had a big conversation with Lexi about how, you know, personally I just feel like I wouldn't, I'm not going to put my kid out in the audition circuit. I don't care if they say they want this, that, or the other, you know what I mean? When it comes that, no kid wants to, I was in audition for, like, depression medication. It was one of the most uncomfortable commercial auditions I've ever done. There was a little kid involved. We had to pretend like mommy's having a hard time at this picnic because she's depressed. And I had to be like, this kid's dad, the kid sat in my lap. I felt very uncomfortable.

And after I was like, I'm never, ever, I don't care what they say. Because, you know what? A lot of times they just are looking for the approval of the parent. So when you're like, do you want to go make mommy money at this depression medication audition? You know what I mean? And of course they're like, yes. As someone that also, I hate commercial auditions. I know for a fact that that kid hated them commercial auditions.

It's depressing. No one wants to be there. It sucks. Especially for depression medication. Maybe it was for like toys are us and they got to like play with toys or something. I don't know. Please. But like, yeah.

They're covered in everyone's germs because now that's all I think about because of this day and age. It's like, oh yeah, you're going to put it in your mouth, you disgusting child. But they're not disgusting, that's just a natural choice. They put things in their mouths. The children are fucking gross. Let's just get it out there.

As singer-songwriter, I'm willing to say that. I want to hear that song in three. Yeah, song three. Kids are fucking gross. Yep. There's so gross. They're grosser than most. Yeah, that kind of thing.

They are grosser than most. Yeah. Throw them in a trash can. Throw them at the show. Shoot them into the sun with a cannon. I'm grappling with being a father, I think is what's going on here. I put it into your music. It's the only device you have anymore.

He will not be silenced and neither will bet Midler. I need you to know that I saw this article headline and I was terrified. It says, bet Midler has different concerns about the mystery. potato head controversy. And I was like, oh no, please don't. Bet Midler, what do you have to say? Don't hit the bet on this bet. We need you.

I love you, Bet Midler. Please don't say. And she didn't. Don't worry. She is still the wind beneath our wings. Then you ever know that you're my hero? Because she's asking the questions on the street that we want the answers to. Recently, Hasbro, has,

has dropped the Mr. label from Mr. Potato Head. So there will still be the two varying, there'll still be Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, but there is no label on them anymore. I think it's just on the box, right? It's like the box says potato head, but they're still the Mr. and Mrs. choices, right?

Yes. So it is just then, it is a choose your own adventure. Sure, sure, sure. Fine, Hasbro, I sanction ye. Bet Midler said, hashtag Hasbro, she tweeted this, announced they are removing the mister from mr potato head's label but that mr and mrs potato head will still exist i can't believe people are worried about that when what they should be worried about is how you store a bunch of dismembered body parts in the potato's ass and i can't agree more bet midler thank you this is the conversation

we should be having and we were just talking about little parts right holden how do you feel about little parts in a potato's ass. You know, it brought back maybe some awakening moments in my childhood for sure. I definitely, I think that was definitely the first and last time I thought about putting some stuff up my ass was maybe in using the potato head. And by the way, trivia that everyone knows. Did you know that it used to be an actual potato? Yeah.

No. With sharp toys, you'd stick into the potato. It was like just a real potato. Parents kept finding rotting potatoes and they're, kids' rooms and so they had to make it a plastic potato. Yeah. That's very funny. And now see that's what my kid will get

someday. Well what would you rather, Jackie? Because you don't have a lot of options. You want to distort in the fucking genitals and the front bits. I want to front. I want a front trunk. I say, what about the front trunk? That's what I call that's what I call my pussy now. Front trunk in the club getting crunk. Yeah,

I remember that in the mid-90s summer jam. Like an elephant's trunk. Bet Midler's Twitter, I will say, has like, that was a very funny and good tweet, but it also just emanates, like, deep, like, mom Facebook energy. You know, it's like, all of her tweets are just, like, really fun, you know, they're just, it's just, it's very, very mom social media posting in, like, a great way that is just a comfort to be like, oh, Bet Midler, you're just kind of corny. Yeah, she doesn't need to have her kids be her brand. She's her own brand. I don't even know if she's a mom.

She just has mom vibe. Social media mom. Beaches. When was the last time you watched beaches? I don't know if I can handle watching beaches right now. Do you want to kill me? A, we should probably do a pop history on it and or at Midler, but also, yeah, I definitely, I don't think I've ever seen beaches.

I don't think I've ever seen beaches either. Ouch. I know it's sad. All of my pop culture references come from The Simpsons. So my knowledge of the one beneath my, like, when I hear one beneath my wings, I think of the Simpsons episode that it plays out. Which is, I don't even know if that's a reference to Beaches or not. But I'll watch Beaches.

I'm trying to catch up on all the pop culture things I missed. I mean, I don't know if people are like still yucking about beaches, but this bitch is always being squawking about beaches. I tell you what, Bish is for Beaches over here. Because it is sad. Bishes for Beaches. Which is my new charity. I'm putting out as a pianist,

Bitch for Beaches, we're going to be just getting as many bitches as possible to donate to save our beaches. This is great. People are like, it's interesting that this organization called Biches for Beaches

is run by a man named Holden McMealy, but, you know, I trust him to get the right bitches for the right beaches. I will be the spokeswoman. Okay, thank you for asking. Except I don't, I'm scared of water

and I don't like an actual beach. Does that, will that be fine? You just like, I imagine the commercial which just me me like putting my foot in a sand, just being like, ugh, it's all over me. It's all over me. And then looking at the water and going, no, no. You should have seen last time I peed in the ocean, I had to hold my friend Mary's hands. I had to hold them out. Why?

Because I was so scared of going in the water. But it was COVID, so I couldn't go to the bathroom anywhere. And I was very, very scared. And I cried. But I did it. Sometimes, you know what? Bishes for beaches. Sometimes a fish got a pee.

A bish got a pee with the fish. Don't even bring. Every time I feel like I have trauma now. Every time I think of fish. Just think of fish, I think of Tom Cruise. When we were watching Romeo and Juliet, I was like, oh, the fish tank was like, oh, no, what's going to happen in there? Is he around? Is he near?

And I probably, probably next week I'll do another round of conspiracy. specifically relating to that as the emails continue to flood in about different people's takes on what he could possibly be doing in that bathroom with that fish. But I do have a different celebrity conspiracy for this week.

Non-fish fuck related. Yeah. I'm trying to give you guys a mental and emotional break from the concept of Tom Cruise just slam in a way, just railing on a fish at a grocery store bathroom. It's almost all I think about.

But I will say something that Holden was thinking about over the weekend because you actually watched the Golden Globes. Couldn't bring myself to do it. I watched a lot of clips. I watched the end of it because Gloss had a paint stream that night and we had a lot of fun. And thank you so much. That's my name B for hosting an amazing paint. So I made a painting instead. So I was creating. Time way better spent. It was such a, it was such a situation for me where literally Ed and I just wanted to like spend quality time together.

so we made Ben Kessel host a very small get together at his place which is the best because I think the last thing I would ever think Ben would want to watch

on a TV in an evening of hanging out with people would be the Golden Globes there was a lot of fun there was so much fun pacing and screaming you know at one point it's just like sorry guys

I'll try to calm down I'm like no no this is this is what it is this is the point it is horrible nothing is good here in every way. I'm sorry, do you want me to give my rundown of the globes, Jackie, or did you...

Hit us, please. I think there's a couple things going on. First of all, everyone's done with, like, COVID-related, Zoom-related comedy. And they keep trying to be cute and do it and, like, no one wants to be reminded of it and stop. There were, like, a couple of really bad versions of those.

The other thing is, and it's such a tricky one for me. And Molly, maybe you can help me talk about this because like I don't know how to say this when every celebrity and it now it's starting to become a point of like I have to do this or I'm not it doesn't feel genuine it feels cynical when every single celebrity gets up and and when they win their award and speaks towards some kind of big social thing it all loses its meaning because it becomes like remember an acting class I don't know if you had acting class Molly but remember an acting class if the teacher My buddy was talking about this, so this isn't mine, but this speaks sorts of thing.

When the teacher at one point in his class said, hey, can I piggyback off something real quick? And then for the next set of classes, every single person, can I piggyback off of that? You know what I mean? Like they're all trying to impress and, like, signal with each other, whatever you want to call it. And it just becomes eye-roly and obnoxious to the point where Jane Fonda, who fucking rules, by the time she got up to accept her Cecil B. Demil Award, and this is one person who really earns the right to stand up. That's the thing, right.

She does the work. She does the work and puts her money where her mouth is and earns the right to get up there. Real quick, sidebar, that video, please look up, Jane Fonda accepting her speech. Hell yeah. Accepting her award, the 1979 Oscars, which I had no idea because the Oscars refused to have a closed caption.

I also imagine doing a live show it was probably more difficult back then. So she signed her entire speech so that deaf people could understand what she was saying. It's like, this is this, we're talking OG. Jane Fonda,

that is one of the many, many, many, many inclusive things that Jane Fonda has done. She has fought for so fucking much. She's an activist. And they demonstrated that in the video that like she, before she got up and accepted of all these great things she's done.

By the time we get to her, those speaking out about things were so mind-numbed by it that you're like, man, she actually deserves to get up here, but it's like already so, it's like so eye-roly by that point that it doesn't make a difference. And it doesn't, and it takes all the weight out of it. And also, I'm literally watching a set of actresses that all look the same. Right. And then one of them wins an award and then talks about the inclusivity that's needed or talks about some, make some grandstanding speech. And it's like, dude, this whole thing's a farce.

Every five, there was so few people of color. It was, and we knew this leading up to it. And there's no people of color like in the what, in the secret council of Lord's. I may destroy you. Where is, why was that? So many things. And there's no black people in the Hollywood foreign press.

Like not a single one of the 90 people. Right. Yeah, it's so obnoxious. And so it's so hypocritical. It's not the actor's fault either. Not necessarily, but yeah. Not all of them. Sometimes it definitely is.

It's just so fucking hypocritical and it's so Iroly and I feel like I understand why the people that I don't agree with politically look at Hollywood the way they look at Hollywood when you look at an event like that. It just, you know what I mean? And it makes me feel like this isn't helping and we need to maybe like, I remember when an award show it would be like throughout the night maybe two different people throughout an entire evening of a, awards would get up and have something really important and impactful to say. You know what I mean? And then you'd hear it and it maybe would make a difference. Now everybody gets up and you can hear their agent telling them that they need to say this shit and not that they actually give a shit.

And it doesn't even matter because like the celebrities through pandemic have shown their ass so badly that even when you do get up and speak towards something, unless you've actually done something about it that anyone knew about like in the news, you just look like a fucking asshole. Yeah. I think that, right, I think that the difference is,

it's like theoretically, speaking about racism in Hollywood, speaking about historical racism, speaking about more representation, all of those things should be happening organically, right? And like, sometimes do happen organically, like, you know, like,

and pointing out, you know, Daniel Colilio is like only the fifth black person to ever win a best supporting actor. And it was for playing Fred Hampton, right, who's a Black Panther. So in that case, it's like, yeah, that is like the real and organic way to be talking about, like, you know, racism, oppression. And also not just talking about it in a vague way. I liked Amy Poehler and Tina Fey's thing about the Hollywood Foreign Press at the beginning because it's like a specific thing to say, there are no black people voting for this, right?

And I feel like that is a good way rather than just being like, we all want acceptance. Like, talk about the structures, right? The reason why, one of the many reasons why black people are getting snubbed over and over could be because there's no black people who are actually voting for this. So that stuff I think is good. But right, I agree with you, Holden that there's also just a kind of general, less authentic, like, less, it's like, you know, I love Nicole Kidman. It's like you have to thank your agent.

We're going to need you to thank your agent. We're going to need, you know what I mean? Like whoever their managers or somebody telling them what to say in their thank you speech, like definitely make sure to thank the Hollywood. foreign press to thank the producer of the film and to say that a really important thing about how black people matter you know what I mean it's just like it's not it's like hitting marks and it's not like you actually care right and I'm trying to remember exactly what Nicole Kemin said when she won for Big Little Lives but it was something that was just like I'm I'm so glad that I

got to bring light to this it was just like it was yeah I love her but it was just very actory like congratulations to me you're so welcome that I got to do this you know So like, right, so I feel like it's tricky. And also, like, the whole industry is indicted. One of the Emmys or one of those a few years ago had Sean Spicer to present an award, the press secretary for Donald Trump. So don't be like, oh, we care so much. And then just be complicit in all this stuff. And I feel like that's the difference.

Like, if it's... And can we just, let's just get wacky again. Let's just have those kind of, all right, all right, all right. Let's just get that, a little of that energy back. My favorite night, probably moment of the night, was literally just Barb and Star, from Barber and Star, go to Visidal Mar coming. Have we gushed about that movie yet in today's podcast? I can't. No, I don't think so.

I cannot recommend it enough. So fun. And they came out and they were hilarious. And it was such a breath of fresh air because they just came out and were really funny. And like, it was silly. And especially at the Globes, even more so. And in a situation where like, what are the Globes? The Globes are supposed to be a party.

Right. When everyone's drunk. Everyone's drunk. Obviously there can't be a fucking party. So what else are we going to do? And they just didn't do any, make any attempt. It was almost like, it literally felt like something that, an awards event that would have happened like in the middle of last year.

You know what I mean? Like it just, it's like, what did people want? And now you can get people tested. Now some people are vaccinated. I think you could have gotten enough people in the actual like space to do funny, silly things and this, that and the other. than to do some bad like skit over Zoom and no one gives a fuck and people are sort of especially what's his name which my heart goes out to him Olivia Munn's axe is how I'll refer

to him oh Jason Sadegis in like a hoodie he was so big out he looks so but he looks like a shell of a man because if you could only imagine it's like if Lex left me for like Jason Mamoa it's like she walked away she was like bye bitch and then went to a literal like sex god of the music industry. It's interesting that you said that because that does remind me of a baby corn joke that I wrote. You want to hear it? Yeah. Why is baby corn happy about my engagement?

Why? Because after three years of squawking, my fiance is a husk of a man. Oh my God. I don't even know. So it's sad for Jeff. But either way, yeah, poor Jason's DeGas, but at the same time, he won. But it was so funny because I was like, is he high? And I was like, yeah, that's what everybody wishes they could be like right now.

And also he's miserable. In his tie-dye hoodie, he looked great. I think our society is struggling to correct itself from the fact that like, what was it like, only like six years ago or something was Seth McFarland's. We saw your boobs song, right? So I feel like that it was like pretty recently that we were like at that level. And then I think there was like a general awakening. It was like, we shouldn't do that anymore. And right.

I think now there's a bit. perhaps a bit of an overcorrection. Again, not with the really meaningful things, but with the kind of just with the shallowness that you're talking about. It's hard because I would have been like, how do we make this a party? And that definitely wasn't a party. And I don't know what to tell these people,

but it was not a party. But I bet that you probably have a celebrity conspiracy to tell the people about. I do. Hit me with it. Do you believe it? This YouTube. channel that can predict celebrity deaths? Oh my god, yes. I love this. That's right. This one comes in

from Olivia who says, Hey, Page 7, learned on TikTok about this weird YouTube channel that allegedly predicts celebrity deaths called 2021 Vision. Okay? I should send you, I'll try to get a link to you guys like while we're going through this. But until then, just know, it's a bunch of six second videos of a name and a cartoon eye that blinks. And it just shows a date. It'll show like March seven, or it'll show like a name and then like March seven or something like that, right? And then that's when they're supposed to be dying. So the soonest one that would come true is Taiga on March 12th, 2021. So keep your eye

out for that. If that happens, then we need to start really looking at this channel. It's definitely an eerie, morbid channel. Some of the other names include Kanye West, May 2nd, and Kim Kaye, September 25th. Both of them? Yes. Madonna December 9th.000. Robert De Niro, June 13th, our boy Thomas Cruz, according to Olivia, September 20th, and Donald Trump, hopefully July 27th, I shouldn't wish death on anybody. I take it back, but I kind of mean it. But there are a lot of others.

The creep factors increase when you consider that 2020 Vision posted videos back in 2017, and every name and date ended up being correct. No. So here's how the channel could have posted videos. So here's the evidence again. Here's how the channel could have. I'm scared. The channel could have posted videos.

Well, it was weird. It said Jackie Zabrowski, and then it just said never. No, that's awesome. You're going to be bitten by a vampire and be immortal. Oh my God. I'm ready to live eternally. So, so they could have been, videos could have been posted in 2017

and they could have edited them in 2020 without affecting the displayed posted date. Using the video editor inside YouTube, a channel can upload a video in 2017. Celebrity's name and every single date, they have to make a video for every celebrity, or at least a lot of them. And then 2020, if a celebrity died, the person who runs the channel can edit the video, trim off the footage of every date except the death date. This cuts a 40-minute video into a second one, yada, yada, yada, they could kind of figure out how to retroactively make it look like they predicted the death. But one thing that is weird is that all the 2021 vision videos are already posted.

Maybe the owner of the channel was mad that everyone thinks their 2020 vision channel was edited slash fake, so they published 20, in a way that is harder to debunk. So, are the 2021 visions going to come true? Olivia says, I kind of hope not sad face emoji, but she also writes, Love you all. That's scary. So we have to look out. All right, so the first one is March 12.

Is that what you said, Tyga? Yes, March 12. That's coming soon. I'm scared. Oh, no, it's like the ring, ring goof, seven days. I was so scared. of playing VHSs that didn't have any writing on them, even before the ring.

And once I saw Ringoo and Ring, I got very scared about what... It's just like Riverdale. Oh my God, Wally, it's just like Riverdale. This is like Riverdale. Click on the... Did you see the link in chat? Feel free to click on that and take a look.

It's creepy me out. It's creepy, right? Yeah, I didn't. It's got a mill over... It's almost two million views. Ew, I don't like this. I'm upset. So, do you believe?

Yuck-y, yuck, I don't like this bad energy. It's creepy, right? I feel like I'm being washed with bad juju. Not Angela Lansbury. Especially the way that I blinks at you. It's so creepy. Although I like this comment plot twist. The man who made this channel is the world's most dangerous hitman

and is being paid millions to kill each of them. I'm watching killing Eve right now, so I'm absolutely terrified of assassin. So. You should be, especially sexy assassins. I know, right? Oh my God, how turned on are you by killing Eve? So turned on, but so scared.

I'm so scared of Villanelle. She scares me so much. I don't usually get upset watching, like, violent things, and I'm so upset and scared of her. She's the most scary villain I've ever met. Well, speaking of being scared and upset, do you believe that this creepy-ass YouTube channel is correct? 50 Cent, November 3rd.

This is a big year. if this is, I don't know, Jackie, you go first. I'm scared. I don't want to give it any power. It actually does genuinely scare me, so I'm going to say no. Because I feel like if I say yes that I'm giving in and I'm adding extra negative energy. At least we'll know by March 12th, right? Tyga.

Yes, that is, we have to check back. It won't, unfortunately, it will be two episodes from now. We'll just miss it for our next week, but we'll be able to check back. But I think I agree with Jackie. I don't want to give this power, even though there is one. name on it that I do want to be true, but everyone else I don't want to die and so

I'm going to also say no, I don't believe, but I'm so scared. We all know Molly fucking hates Angela Lansberry, but either way, let's go on. No, Jessica. Don't ever say it about her. Yes, I'm very scared and hopefully this doesn't

give us any bad ju-choo. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring an evil spirit into the podcast, guys. You guys are making me feel bad I blame Olivia. Olivia, whatever. You're in whatever jail. Olivia is a whatever jail. Whatever.

I love you too, Olivia, but you're in whatever jail for a little bit. Don't put Olivia in whatever jail. You know who I'm also not going to put in whatever jail? Cam! Cam, who wrote in to page seven podcast at gmail.com, who also quit smoking after smoking for 11 years. I will say, Holden and I definitely helped inspire you.

And Holden, they went out and bought the, the How to Quit Smoking, the Allen Car book. Hell yeah. And that helped them stop smoking. I can't believe a book works, but a book works. I don't know what to tell you. Alan Carr's How to Stop. The easy ways quit smoking.

And also you can keep smoking while you read the book if that gives you some incentive. I do love too that Cam also likened the smoking to Twilight, which made me love it even more. Also, I've been listening to the Twilight series on y'all's Patreon and have realized that Edward could have totally used smoking as an example of what they go through with the blood thing. You get the craving as soon as you're turned, which is starting smoking. You constantly want it and are never satisfied. And it's stronger than wanting food or sleep. I'm totally a nicotine vampire.

I'm still waiting for the cravings to go away. Can you tell? But I will be strong. And every time I want one, I'll scream in my head, isn't it marvelous? Because that's what the book said to do. I love you, Cam. Thank you so much for writing in. I want to send fellow wedding planning love to Ria.

I'm going on virtual tours next week of venues. And that makes me feel like I'm living in the space hotel that we didn't get to talk about today. But virtual tours makes me very scared. And I also want to give an amazing birthday, birthday shout out to Kate's friend Carrie. And Carrie was the one. Carrie and Kate are both huge fans of page seven. and Kate goes on to say my friend Carrie and I love everything you guys do on page seven. We worked together in a plant research lab for eight years and bonded over listening to last podcast.

We traveled together to see them live in 2019 and it was a blast. Hope we get to do the same with you guys someday too. In 2019, I moved to Maine to go back to grad school. So now more than ever, your podcasts are part of what helps us stay connected. I want to sincerely thank you for what you do because it's gotten us both through the hellishly dark times of the past year. for please keep being amazing humans and also you, Kate and Carrie, keep being amazing human beings. March 14th is Carrie's birthday. I just want you to feel I'm sending you my positive birthday love.

I hope you have a good and safe time. But come up. You should do a, oh, God, it was such a great idea. When someone, I think someone wrote in about doing, oh no, it was part of our chat, amazing chat. I think it was De Meague that had a bar crawl, a virtual bar crawl through the house where they set up different themes and every, like her roommate set it up for her. Every room had a different theme. So she brought the laptop from room to room and invited different people into the Zoom as they went from themed room to themed room. And I was like, that is the best birthday idea I have ever heard.

What a great way to spend birthday with also multiple friends and have multiple. different things. And every room you go into, have a special drink. What a great idea. That rules. I love that. What a great idea. So I just want to say thank you guys. And to everyone that sent me an amazing amount of congratulations for my love bust that happened last week. I promise I won't be too annoying by talking about the wedding. I'm going to try not to. That's what my mother's for. But I'll be too annoying when I'm singing my singer-songwriter songs about my baby's tiny notes. So there you go. Tiny parts and tiny, ugh.

I want to talk about both of your life events. So I don't think you guys are, you could be annoying, but you aren't yet. I'll say that. Not yet. I imagine it will happen, but not before the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Jackie!

I have that list. 14 gigantic. Last minute changes that forever. altered iconic movies. This, I really enjoyed this list. Kubrick redacted the epilogue of The Shining after the film was already in theaters. So originally, according to Stanley Kubrick, that is not how what we see is not the actual end.

The first audience is to see the Shining in theaters saw a scene where Wendy and Danny explain their ordeal to a police, to the police in a hospital. But Kubrick decided he didn't like it and sent assistance out to physically cut the scene from every reel that had been shipped. Wow. Dedication. Dedication. You'd think you could have made that decision a month before, but you know, Kubrick is going to be a Kubrick. Kubrick's Kubrick, man.

And how do you feel Star Wars is that George Lucas's dead? Death Star was just a harmless mechamoon. I don't know what any of that means. George Lucas just kind of filmed a bunch of goofy aliens and left the actual storytelling to his editors. The most glaring example, he didn't think to make the rebel base actively under attack, but were the editors worked their magic,

the rebels feared some hypothetical future attack. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, that first Star Wars is like such, it's such a miracle that it became what it became. Like everyone thought in the cast that that movie was going to be a absolute disaster. Like they were literally, and the script was not good to, I mean, they were like making all these changes and things like that throughout. They were just like, this is terrible. I remember, yeah, because I remember what's her name, God rest of soul, Leah.

She, not Carrie Brecht. Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher. I was like, Carrie Bratcher. Even we know that. Carrie Bratcha. She was just always talked about. She was like, can you believe this trash?

Like, she just, like, hated the dialogue of that movie. It thought it was going to be so bad. So that makes sense a lot of it was worked out in the editing. That would make a time. That does make sense completely. But does it make sense that in Raiders of the Lost Ark, they skipped a choreographed fight scene because of dysentery? This iconic scene where Indy simply shoots the sword guy with a gun was supposed to be a long,

impressive fight scene. But Harrison Ford had the run. and suggested they got it short. I mean, it's very Oregon trail of him to have dysentery, but I support it. And it's also that made, I love those types of factoids, because I really did make an iconic scene,

whereas it would have actually been a pretty boring, you know, fight in hindsight, but that gun, that was such a funny, great, and I feel like it perfectly encapsulates, like what makes Indiana Jones so great. It's like crazy action, but it's so ridiculously funny at the same time. Thank you, thank you, dysentery.

Yeah. Right? Also, Frodo, yes, no, we're not talking about Legless, even though my loins just perked up at the thought of Frodo. Frodo originally just straight up murdered Gollum in Return of the King. Peter Jackson initially had Frodo kick Gallum into the fire, but realized that would subvert the character's whole arc. So he made Andy Circus put his tights back on for a reshoot. So they shot it like that, then he had to come back in, I would have been pissed. Imagine by Return of the King

How done Andy Circus was Probably playing Gullum And he's like, you want me to do what? We have to do it again. I would have been fucking done by that point. But I also, you know what? I'm a Ghalom in the streets, Jackie in the sheets.

Depended on the night. But what about, oh my God, more Star Wars? Yes, George Lucas forgot to have Obi-Wan, yoink, Anakin, Sabre. In Revenge of the Civil. Lucas got all the way to the cutting room when he realized he'd forgotten to shoot

this one tiny but hugely consequential action. Woo! Star Wars fans almost found a reason to complain about this movie, which I think is a fun. That's a little fun job. No! That's the Darth Vader thing. That's my favorite movie theater experiences.

I've never laughed so hard that when Darth Vader did the... No! Even I laughed at that one. I got that that was a little silly. And this always... actually genuinely upset me, but it makes sense that this was something that was changed in pretty and pink, that apparently they reshot the ending because test audiences preferred

her with the hunk. As originally filmed, Andy ends up choosing the dofist Ducky, which I always love Ducky. Of course. But according to the director, the girls in the test screening didn't go for that. Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy had real chemistry. and people wanted to see them end up together. Wow. Missed opportunity.

Eleanor. That makes my, like, high school kid self just so angry. It could have really helped a lot of people. But in the last but not least, Rambo was supposed to off himself. Okay. At first blood, after filming the intended ending, where Rambo pulls the trigger on the gun,

of his hesitant would-be executioner, Stallone had the bright idea to maybe keep the hero alive to make boatloads of money for decades. No, it was me. That wasn't Sly. Guys, that was me. Oh, my God, I could be the next Jackie Stallone. Give me a button, I'll read it.

Producers actually hated Sly's proposed ending, but he got the director to side with him. I imagine. I think that probably Sly could get me to do almost anything. The Italian stallion, as I call him. That's it. That was his poor name. Well, I wouldn't be able to read anything.

You said something about reading the thing earlier because I'm going, I think I'm going. Fly! Blind items! Oh, we can't see them! I love it. It's like you always know that I have one dud blind item, and so I cut it when we go Super Ever, which is awesome. So I got two.

Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you again. Thank you a million times. Thank you. Besides all of her overpriced snake oil products that she has convinced herself work, our A-list mostly movie actress slash Oscar Steeler is also firmly convinced that while she may not have invented a certain spa treatment that she is the one who popularized it.

Seriously, she thinks no one in the last 150 years since it was patented ever really got one until our actress. Goop. Facials? She's taking credit for literally, this blind item makes it seem like. She's actually taking credit for the face mask during pandemic. Oh, yeah. Not like the spa face mask, but like the fucking face mask face mask.

Because she wore a face mask on a plane in like late February, which is like, yes. Good. Back in February 26th of last year, she posted a selfie wearing a face mask with the common in route to Paris, paranoid, prudent, panicked, placid, pandemic, propaganda. Paltrow's just going to go ahead and sleep with this thing on the plane. I've already been in this movie. Stay safe, don't shake hands, wash hands frequently. And so now she takes credit for the, quote, trend happening during pandemic.

What? It's kind of fun that she says, I've already been in this movie. That's kind of fun. That's kind of funny. Paltrow had this to say in a recent New York Times interview. This is a familiar pattern in my life. I do something early.

Everyone is like, what is she doing? She's insane. And then it's adopted by the culture. She also said she was, quote, one of the first people to have it, end quote, in regards to COVID. She's the ultimate COVID hipster. Oh, my God. But she also claims to have started yoga.

Remember when she did that years ago? When she was like, I mean, it was like a thing, but like I started the trend with yoga. What are you talking about? You crazy, bitch. It's also like, bitch people, by February people in China had certainly been wearing masks for quite a while. You didn't invent shit. You just only think about yourself. I invented it.

So dumb. It's so dumb. So anyways, that's a fun one, right? Yeah. I knew that was such an obvious one, but whatever. This one is a fan one in the emails. This one comes from Hunter who says, quote, y'all probably have been sent this a ton,

but I feel like this is a great story slash blind item to go on the next show. Thanks for all the laughs. We haven't been sent this a ton. The future of this superhero franchise and its potential sequels may now be in jeopardy as a new rumor claims the director has refused to work with the film's star ever again after catching the actor having sex with his co-star atop the film's iconic car? What? Batman? Yeah. Is it our pets?

Yeah. And who would be the co-star? Zoe Kravitz. Yeah. Zoe Kravitz. An R-Pat. The anonymous, an anonymous poster claimed that, quote, Zoe took a pregnancy test and she is pregnant and everyone believes it's Patenses.

Also, this poster said, he literally told Pattinson, you were the most entitled narcissistic actor I've ever worked with. You go back to work. We finish filming a march and then we are done. I don't want to ever work with you after this film. Apparently they banged on the Batmobile. How hot is that?

That is so fucking hot, dude. Can you imagine banging R-Pats on the? Batmobile? I think I just came. I think like I can't even, I can't even imagine it. I think I can't even imagine. I can see again because I want to see that tape. Wow.

I support banging on the Batmobile. I think that Zoe Kravitz is 10 gazillion leagues out of the league of Robert Pattinson myself. I don't know if that's a- Wow. I also just wrote a song called Bangin' on the Batmobile. I'll play it next week. It'll be like banging on a trash can, but the adult version of it.

Don't you think, is this my opinion an unpopular one? I don't think so because I know that he is very stiff, but I'm completely in love with him. Really? So it is difficult because I just, I love, have you seen The Lighthouse? No. Not yet. That's one of my ones I've been meaning to see for so long. Or the other one that was done by the brothers that did uncut gems.

Molly, watch homework for you if you ever This is six months homework It's not in a week Watch the lighthouse Watch the lighthouse Watch the lighthouse

And then watch Good Time Good Time was done With the Safty brothers And they So it was a movie That they made

Before Uncut Jem So it has that same Like Make Your Chest Hurt What I like about R-Pats Is that what he hated about being Edward and Twilight is that he didn't like the character.

He didn't like what the character did to Kristen Stewart in the movies. And he also doesn't like playing just a pretty boy. He doesn't want to be that. And so now that he gets to choose a lot more of what he gets to do, he's just an amazing actor. And so I, so it really,

so it's like the looks, sure, sure. but the acting like the lighthouse made me just be like I wanted to have sex with both him and Willem Defoe and preferably at the same time or I'll just watch the two of them it's the turtlenecks who knew

I had such a thing for big bulky turtle like I think I gotta start like touching myself looking at the Lanz-en catalog I think that's the next obvious step but that is all the juice I will sorry I'm juicing over here about our pets but all right I'll take it into account

I will allow it. Thank you. I think you'll get it if you watch both of those. Okay. And now he's banging on the bat mobile. Banging Zoe Kravitz. Like Zoe Kravitz is like one of the hottest people on earth. Yes.

And that's like arguably one of the hottest places to bang someone. Yes. I can see it. I can clearly see again. Congratulations. See again. I'm titillated. I'm also titillated.

I just want to, I guess, do a little bit of a sucking of my own lips here that I got in contact with Dumois this week because Henry and I will be interviewing Jack Quaid for the next LPN show and she should totally watch out for that. But Dumois, who is the Instagram account that I'm obsessed with that has so many blinds. And it is this, I think multiple people that have been working through this pandemic, their Instagram has blown up. If you look in all their Insta stories, people send them all of this. It is like a full-time job that they are doing, keeping up with celebrity culture. And a lot of it is fairly positive, which is what I like. But Dumois happens to be obsessed with Jack Quaid, who is, yes, the child of Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan, also one of the leads of the boys, which I think is an amazing television show. So I hit them up and I hit up Duan.

I was like, can you get like questions from you? and from your readers to ask. And they did. And I really appreciated that. And I really love Dumois. So this is my shout out to Dumas. As well as the fact that I get to talk to Jack Quay tomorrow. Hell yeah.

Love it. And I'm excited about that. And I won't try to kiss him because I am recently engaged. I am the bride. And I have yelled that, yes, at least seven times this week. About nothing and towards no one, just by myself. But my name is Jackie. Thank you guys for George.

this week. I'll just all talk and talk. I'll do Jackie. Now we start Jackie talks for 30 minutes. All right. You want to see where my brain goes? You want to see what happens? Well, you can definitely see where my brain goes over at the Patreon where I record chapters of Twilight.

Yes, we are in a eclipse right now. I put out two chapters a week. Go over to patreon.com slash page seven podcast, seven, the number. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Yes. Obviously, I use two different email submissions from that email. I check it now every week for the content I bring with celebrity conspiracy and blind items. So please keep them coming so that we can keep Jackie coming because I didn't have a good sexy blind until you wrote in.

Dear week, dear listener. So hanging on the backmobile. Check out. Also, Twitch.tv. Forward slash Holdenators. So Jackie and I have a really fun party stream every Friday night, 6 p.m. So check us there. I also stream on Monday and Tuesdays.

And yeah, that's about it for me, Molly. My name is Molly Neffle and I am MJKLKAT on Instagram. We love you guys so much. We'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Oh.