Page 7 - Ep. 393: Ding Dong Goes the Clock

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

It's a very musical Page 7 this week as we sing the praises of Meghan Markle & Prince Harry, Adam Driver & Lady Gaga; and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is the cast of Glee cursed?!?!?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I was just lamenting to Molly and Alden about how much I miss karaoke and I definitely miss my number one karaoke song. Bus it flat and bad and rouge waiting for a train when I's feel... Put it up! This is my problem. I'm rusty. Buzz it flat and bad and rouge waiting for a train when I's feeling near is faded as me. my jeans Bobby thumbed

Diesel down Just before we rain And rode us all the way into New Orleans I'm gonna skip ahead Freedom's just another word For nothing left to lose Nothing

And ain't nothing hard if it ain't free And feeling good Was easy lot When he sang the blues and you know, feeling good was good enough of me. Good enough for me and Bobby McGee. I will say it's more difficult because I'm not drunk and because it's not midnight.

I'm depressed. Happy one-day-anniversary, guys. Welcome to page seven. We're never going to leave the house. I've got. I get it. You want me to do mine. I will do my career.

Do yours. Do yours. And then I'll go. Seventy-six. Trombones led the big parade With 110 Cardiff's close at hand That's not what it is They were followed by Rose and Rose of the finest virtuoles

The cream of every famous band 76 trombones Don't get me started with the music man Because once I start with the music man I can't stop Well mine is of course cheap trick Surrender because it has a roughly It has like about four notes in it And that is my range

Oh hit us hit us Well, it is really like an environmental thing. I got a channel. Mother told me, yeah, she told me at me girls like you. Yeah. You also told me stay away. You'll never know what you'll catch. That song, man, it is the perfect karaoke song.

I give you permission to steal it. Surrender. Yeah, don't give yourself away. If you love to sing yet can't sing, might I suggest surrender? Also, never forget the time at the comedy show that had karaoke back in the day that I sang Jimmy Eat World in the middle. And Marcus Parks is still mad at me about it because he was so annoyed by that choice. But it's a great choice for those of us with a very, very small range of notes. Yeah.

Of course, my second go-to, I am the very model of a modern major general. No, it's not. What should for real one holden? For real, for real. I've got a few up my sleeve. I'll tell you, one that crushed open a wedding reception karaoke, a little good together. So a bunch of olds getting up singing boring old songs. I got up and did a loser by Beck, and people really got into that.

The key, and this is why I stand by Jimmy Eat World in the middle. Yes, it's not a great song. Marcus is right about that. But everyone knows it. No one wants to hear it is the problem with in the middle. But it has to be one that everybody either knows very, very well, or at least knows, like, deepen their bones, even if they haven't thought about it in a long time.

Or it can immediately be call in response. One of my new ones, actually, especially if it's a room a lot of people don't know you, and especially if you see me get up and you're like, oh, what's this guy going to do? Like, Credence or whatever, what's he going to do? Fucking, you know what I mean? Seeger, and I get up and I do Boys by Charlie X, X, X.

And by the end, everybody in the room is going, boys, you know what I mean? And, like, because everybody can just scream boys, right? It's like over and over again. Everyone's like gets into it. And that's a fun thing to play against type because I can also pull out like 22 by T-Swift or something like that. And every one loves it when you start singing T-Swift.

That's when they can't get enough. I feel it. Yeah, everybody loves it, dude. Well, you know, and soon I'll be playing it on piano. And soon I'll be, I guess, like, doing concerts not able to record, I think. See, the thing is that, Holden, I feel like you've definitely gotten on my case before by saying when you can. do something when you actually can't yet.

And you get the serotonin in your brain of like, oh, my God, I'm doing this thing, but you can't yet. I want to talk to you when you're on the top of your game by next week. We all expect it by next week. I'm not going to say I'm not going to be filling auditoriums in a season from now, but I will say that I'll probably be filling up maybe some small auditoriums to see what my hands can do. You can learn quickly as an adult or an older person when you've got the past.

I've said before and I'll say it again. It's thanks to Real Big Fish and less than Jake that I learned how to play trumpet in like a month because I just wanted to play along with them so bad. Give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up. I just do that. I practiced that and got really good at that in a month. I was like, I just want me to give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up,

everyone goes, yeah, look at the give it give it up and give it up. Who do you want to fuck the guy that just dances or the guy that just says give it up? I think I would have fucked the guy that just dance. For the record, it's not give it up, it's picking up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Get your scah digs right. Sorry, sorry. I guess I was telling myself I should quit. Uh-huh, yeah.

It's okay that you don't know the deep nuances of scah, but that's why I'm here. It's the one, you know what? I always want to bang the tambo. Anyone that's got a tambo and they're slapping on that bow, which, yeah, I don't even have the time to even say tambo anymore because I'm so excited about, you know, boning down on the bow player. Are we talking about forehand slaps or are we talking about thigh slaps?

What do we? Oh my God. I love a thigh slapper. When they get so into it and like their fringe is just flowing in the wind. The best thing about calling it a bow is that it sounds like several other musical instruments.

More exciting musical instruments, maybe. Although what is it called? All the lips are. Yeah, exactly. And that guy just starts going with the timbre. Oh, in between the thighs. The bass and the cello probably. Mamma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma.

You're miming a cello for sure. I am miming a cello. Does that work on podcasting? Or finger-banging herself. We can't tell because it cuts off below, but we're pretty sure it's a cello what's going on. Or, yeah, it could be just someone is sitting on my lap while I finger-bang them,

which is always a great solid move. But we have other upsetting things to talk about today. Today is a wacky one, man. There's just a bunch of wacky stories. I feel like we're, if you were to be like, and we will be speaking

specifically about a cartoon, but if you were to be like, oh, what kind of show is, it's like an animated, goofy cartoon show of a week of celebrity news. And I think that the real headline story

of today is that it's been exactly one year since I've been in the same room. Yes, me out of one year since we've been inside. Oh my God, why didn't I start with that? It's been one year since we lived inside.

Since I've been in the same room with Holden McNeely specifically, a whole year. Can you imagine? All that good stuff. Yeah, I remember that. I got used to all that. Sharing particles. I can't believe that we didn't give each other COVID that day. Yeah.

Well, someone gave it to me, which I got it early on. Somebody knows. Might have been your baby. Yeah, I ended up getting it early on. What was funny recently was when I got the piano, I forget who said it. They were like, oh, that's a smart pandemic purchase. I was like, oh, yeah, I guess. I just got it because I decided I want to learn piano.

I'm not still coping at this point. I'm just completely it like, in no way was I like, you know what I should do in this lockdown. At this point, at this point, I'm figured out how to get out. You know what I mean? Yes. So anyways, but that was just very funny to think about. It's like, oh, right, I guess we are still in that life.

I just got it because I want to get it. You know what I mean? Yes. See, I'm in the part of quarantine where I am also watching wrestling along with Ben Kistel. Now, I got to talk about this match. We've been watching wrestling with him. And I will say I watched a lot of wrestling when I was young. I was very sexually attracted to The Undertaker.

And I know I wasn't the only one. And all of the hearts, Brett the hitman heart wanted him. Heart throb. What was, you know, the Humpy Brothers? Ooh, ah, uh, uh, humpy brothers. Hulk Hogan? What he fucks? I think you're, are you talking about the Humpty Hump?

Are you talking about, um, digital playground? Oh my God, I love that song. Maybe. No, that's not what I'm talking about. But I, this was a specific match that I guess they used to, they, I don't think that they've ever done it. If I remember, I don't really know the history of wrestling. But they used to do this like barbed wire death match.

kind of thing in Japan. And so they did this match here where the ropes were covered in barbed wire. And every time they hit into the ropes, there would also be an explosion. And they also then would like throw into

the ring like a chair wrapped in barbed wire. And then they like slam him with the chair with the barbed wire. It looked so. They were covered in blush. And they had, at the 30 minute mark all of the explosions were going to go off.

So they ended up, like, long story short, the bad guy gets handcuffed and left in the middle of the ring, covered in his own blood because all of the explosions were going to go off. Yeah. And so another bad guy came out and is like trying to, like, lay on top of him to keep him sheltered from all of the explosions. But a malfunction happened. And so instead of a bunch of explosions going off at the 30,

in a mark, it was like two cartoonish sparklers on the sides. And then like kind of a explosion, I guess you could say. Kind of an explosion. Was it a malfunctioner or did they just like soft shoot it like accident?

I don't know. I think that, no, it was a mistake because both of the wrestlers on the ground were like knocked out like they did what they were supposed to do which was be like, oh my God, Are they dead?

Oh, my God, at the end. But there's no way that those sparklers would have made them. But look up. You can look up the ending of it. It's the AEW Moxley-Kenni-O-Megger match. It was a great. I had a wonderful time watching it. Ooh, are you watching it right now?

Are you watching the end of it right now? I'm watching it, yeah. It is, I just, it puts such a smile on my face because they were so hard. The announcer is trying. tried to sell to you, like, oh, oh, oh, there's just nothing happening on the stage. It's very funny. It's so funny. They're definitely sparklers.

But this was at the same time as the Oprah Winfrey interview was happening. So I'm looking up and screaming about the Oprah Winfrey interview with Megan Markle and Prince Harry while watching with just boys that couldn't give a flying fuck about what I had to say about Prince Harry or Megan Markle. I want to marry Harry still. I still win. I would. Well, we care what you have to say about it, Jackie. And of course, it was a massively important interview.

Oprah Winfrey, oh, she gets all the good juice out of them. And how brown is that baby, Jackie? It is a problem to say it. Yeah, by the way, I don't actually be, yeah, that is not real. That is the joke. No, you were making a jape. You were making a jape. On the, on the, the, the racism of the palace.

I was one of the, I thought that I was somebody who did not care at all. And I thought, I really did. Are we going to watch this? And I was like, I guess I should watch page seven, because I know we're going to talk about it, but I don't really care. And then within like, 10 seconds, I was like, tell me everything. Oprah is a goddess, you know. It was just so, she is such a skilled interviewer. And I will say, I was impressed with Harry.

I think he did a good job. I think that he was like a thoughtful person. You were not impressed. You mean ginger lollipop? Interesting. I want to lick the hair right off of them. But then you don't turn out like his brother. Yeah, I'm fine with that except not in spirit, I guess.

What's wrong with his brother? I think his brother is the one who asked about the baby. I think it was his brother. Oh, you do? Oh, my God. Because he was so upset. Like, obviously, Philip is like a known racist and his father doesn't take his calls, but like Harry was so upset to talk. Like he was like, I'm not going to repeat the conversation.

I don't want to talk about it. It's obviously an upsetting conversation. But I think me not literally not knowing the royal family at all until this interview. And now I'm like an expert. And I think it was the brother. Of course. So for those of y'all that don't know, which I think at this point, we'd have to live under a rock because there's, again, we're one year deep. There's nothing else happening right now.

So Harry marries Megan Markle. She is, according to the royalty, really not anybody. She's an American. She has mixed race. She was in suits. She's like a total zero. She's like a total she's all that situation. Unfortunately, all of these things that I just said about her are seen as very bad things when marrying into the royal family because of the just disgusting, disgusting, systemic racism as well as just.

The rules that they have is all tipsy, topsy. And so Megan Markle came out and talked to Oprah Winfrey about what was happening and why she and Harry left the royal family, essentially. And a lot of it had to do with the fact that they were upset of the fact that Megan Markle is mixed race and wondering, and asking what color the babies would be when they came out of her. and that is truly horrifying and disgusting. It is, and the fact that, like, there's all this talk, which I do appreciate, it seems

like she and Kate Middleton, who is the one that will be someday, I guess the queen, right? I think so. Yeah, if he's going to be, William's going to be the king, I guess she's going to be the queen. I think we still don't. I remember the years ago when they got married and we're like, we should learn more about how this royal family works. I've watched all of the crown, and I still don't exactly understand. I understand that that is fiction and that a lot of it is apparently made up for the television.

Or that's what the institution says. But I have put in my quote unquote time. No, I have it. But this is very interesting because she's just, they're so beautiful. And I really still love that Harry and William are big proponents of working on accepting mental illness and getting money to people in the UK. towards helping them get help for mental, like mental illness is like their, their thing. And I really dig that.

But at the same time... Wow, mental illness, that's such a mood. It's such like, that's their thing. And Megan Markle... It is not the thing of the royalty, though. They do not want to talk about it. No, because at the same time, these are the same people that,

when she said, I'm going to kill myself because of how the tabloids are treating, me and how everything is going down, that I'm, I'm contemplating suicide. And they were essentially like, too bad, so sad. Get the fuck over. Yes. Don't tell anybody. Yeah.

And now, I guess that was why one of the things that impressed me about Harry was that he was like, okay, this is really, really serious. And I, like, believe you. And I, like, want to tell my, like, I don't, I can't tell my family, but, like, we need to obviously, like, get you help. And maybe it's setting the bar just. so low, but I was like, well, that's good, you know, like, that he, like, you know, cared and believed her and wanted to get her help.

Isn't that kind of nice? It's kind of nice. Not certain that that's what's going on with Kate Middleton. Like, hearing and hearing Megan, obviously, Megan Markle is in a unique situation because she, because of the racism, and I have no idea what is going on with Kate Middleton, but just to be, like, the outsider marrying in, and she, and Markle describes, like, they take your passport, Or like it really is like you're a hostage. And I was thinking about Kate Middleton

and all those pregnancies and all those kids and how isolating that must be. And how lonely it is. It's just, it's fucking devastating. Like she was like, I didn't have any control over where I went. It wouldn't let me leave the house. I mean, it really is some horror shit. Yeah, that's no good.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not, you know, people think, oh, it's such a big deal. That's why I always weirds me out that everyone cares so much. Like when they got the big public weddings of the royal house, and how huge of all the pageantry of that. It's like Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade times a million, and I'm always just weirded out by it.

But people love a big affair, right? They love a big to do for sure. But it is very funny. God, I read some tweet from like, this is like what it's like for the Irish. It's like as if your neighbor's like really into clowns and like clown events and did you see that thing? And it's like, but for the Irish, it's like as if the clown,

your family, your dad was killed by a clown. And then also your neighbor is just like really into clown shit and just really, really down with the clowny ass stupid stuff that beats nothing. Yeah, that's the thing. And I guess, right, I have never wanted to fuck or marry Harry. I'll love to Jackie. I want to marry Harry. I have never, like, wanted to be a princess. I understand a lot of people have.

That's cool. But like, I guess the institution itself is just so abominable that I, at first I was like, well, why? aside from like the fun and the pageantry of the wedding, whatever, like I get that, but like, why do I, like, these, this is like a reprehensible institution with a very bad history, right? And, and somehow Megan Markle made me like really, because my instinct reaction was to be like, well, I don't know, you married him. Like, what did, what did you think? You knew, you had to have known that this was going to be a nightmare, right? You willingly entered into this family, right? But then upon hearing her talk, I'm like, maybe it, I guess it's either a testament to her love of Harry, like, that she thought it was worth it or that she thought that she would be like, just like a ambassador who got to go around and do charity work and didn't realize that she would be more like a hostage. It was so compelling, especially to me as somebody who has like no reverence for the monarchy and in fact generally just like disdain. Do you believe their side? Do you believe their take? Harry and Megan?

Yeah. Yes, 100%. Just totally, right? So your thoughts don't align with Pierce Morgan as well. Oh, that all of that. Oh my God. I was like, with the Pierce Morgan thing, I was like, what? I'm trying to put myself in the mindset of like identifying with the royal family.

It's one thing to fantasize about it. I'm down with the clown, big ICB fan. That dude is down with that crown, bro. And you cannot come in and be like, oh, his juggler. He's like a juggalo of the royal family. family. You know what I mean? He's a hatchet foe life type of dude, but when it comes to specifically the royal family

of England. Like, again, I feel like most people, most straight women I know have wanted to fuck Harry. So that I get. The idea of like liking the royal family so much that you have to like think that Megan Markle is like a liar, like that you have to defend the royal thing. I just can't imagine identifying with them, you know, like, what is going on in your mind when you're like, these are my people and Megan Markle is trying to tear them down.

The actor from suits. How dare she? The actor from suits. And just in case if you haven't looked into it, Pierce Morgan had said before the interview that he referred to Megan Markle as a grasping social climber and a shameless piece of work. And he also referred to the royal family as grasping, selfish, scheming, Kardashian wannabes.

And then after the interview essentially said that he does not believe a word that Megan Markle says. And he said, I wouldn't believe it if she read me a weather report talking about how he doesn't agree with anything that she says and doesn't believe it. And then he got 41,000 complaints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he has left. Good morning, Britain. And dude is a professional troll. And also there is video footage of him saying that he was literally on a date with her or at, you know,

at a restaurant with her trying, he thought it was a date, he wanted to be a date, and then she left, got in a cab, and then went to the party where she met Harry. So he just,

and she said, she ghosted me. He literally used the words, she ghosted me. So that's why he's just a scorned, he's just like a guy who thought she was gonna fuck it. Pierce Morgan is me in high school,

is what you said. Yeah, he's a sad boy. Damn, he's just a sad boy. I hate everything right now. I hate everything right now. We got old Britain sad boy over here. Who knew?

And that is, that sucks, bro, but also, we're going to compare Pierce Morgan to Prince Harry? Remember those, oh, remember all of the videos when he was in Vegas, like banging in hot tubs? Yes. That's when I fell in love with Harry. I don't want to be a princess. I want to bang. I just like banging in hot tubs. But I think that that's bad for the pH.

But we don't need to get into that right now. I was like bragging about how I was enjoying some bang sessions and like a jacuzzi. and then everyone's like, oh, it's unhealthy. Oh, you'll get a disease from doing it. I was like, that whole point of a jacuzzi was literally to have sex in it. Am I crazy? Like, what is the- I think you and Harry aren't the ones getting the diseases.

I think Jackie's right. Yes. I think that I think it's up on the, like, that's why I know you bet, like you get saucy and then you bang up right on the lip. You get that tub lip going for your downstairs lip. to the downstairs. I love it, man. You, all of my lips.

Did you, Jackie, when you were a kid, did you, like, did you like the princess? Was it like something like the whole, like fanfare of it? Did you like it? No. No, I was never into any of that. I just remember when Princess die passed. And I remember when my mom sat and we watched the funeral and she explained the, like, the idea. And I was like, I really did think.

that their life was like beauty in the beast. Like I thought that they walked down the street and everyone was like, good morning, Prince Harry. And everyone goes, good morning, prince. And that sick as fuck. Welcome to the town in the morning. I want that. That's what I would love.

My neighbor's dead. Yeah. Can you imagine just hung over? Like, I'm just trying to get a breakfast sandwich. Yeah, right. But we want to welcome you to our shop. It's very fun here. Would you like to buy a mop?

I don't want to buy a fucking mom. I want a coffee. I don't even think you sell mobs. You just try to figure out something that rhymed with shop. You're right. I did. I did think it was funny. I didn't mean to laugh about it.

But she was talking about how she was watching the little, Megan Markle was watching The Little Mermaid. And she was like, I watched The Little Mermaid and she marries the prince. And then she lost her voice the same way I lost mine. And I was like, all right. There was like a little part. I was like, I mean, at the end of the day, there's lots of much worse things happening in this world, unfortunately. And then a sea witch attacked me.

And that sea witch was the queen. Yeah, exactly. No, I think a sea witch technically is Prince Charles. I believe in this scenario. I also don't identify with Harry and Megan either, right? Like the whole, they're all just, they're all just profoundly rich people, although it was fascinating to basically see that they like got cut off. But they didn't even like really, I remember the last time we talked about this, we were like, I remember thinking like, well, that was like brave of them to like willingly cut themselves off. But then it was like, they actually didn't even think that was going to happen.

Like they were like, whoa, you're going to take our security and all of our money. You're actually cutting us off. Yeah. Yeah. He's surviving on the money that Diana left him. Like that's actually like pretty fucking. be fine. Oh yeah,

didn't they just sign like a $10 million deal with like Netflix or something? They're like doing, yeah, they're doing all. Yeah. They're streaming.

They're fine. Yeah, they'll be fine. It's called page eight and it is his celebrity gossip thing. It's great because me can get a lot of Hollywood people in

for interviews. It's going to be very good. Don't. It's going to be very good. I have heard though that word on the street is that Megan Markle is really just such a nice, sweet person.

So I do hope that. I hope the best for the family and for the baby that's inside of her. But I guess that the kids don't even get like titles or anything. I didn't know that either because all of their kids should have titles. Well, that's why I'm giving my baby title of King Baby the second. Wow. So you are King Baby the First. I'm King Baby the First and King Baby the Second is my daughter to be.

So do we have to start calling you his royal highness? You need to start bowing right now to my baby, so I don't really understand why. Whenever you see Lexi into a room, you should go, sorry for my presents. And then disappear. I say, you mother get up. I'm going to bow to the baby.

You mother come here. I got to bow to the baby. I don't know about this song. What's going on with these songs today? Open up your pussy and give me the baby. All right. What do we do? Is that get down with the sickness?

No, yeah, that's that with the sickness, bro. Bow to the baby? Is that what's happening? Yeah, bow with the baby, bro. My word, that is interesting. I'm just glad I figured it out. I cracked the code on that one. You are welcome.

So I will say that the barbed wire match was very similar to watching the Oprah Winfrey interview that I did watch. Yeah, because it doesn't go how you think it's going to go, but it's spectacularly entertaining. Nonetheless. Covered in blood. You think you don't care, but you do. And then you do care because that's, honestly, yes. Because it's just like you're watching it. I'm like, oh man, this is going to be like nuts, huh?

And then just explosion, sploge, sploge! They can't see. They got blood all in their eyes for like two minutes in the match. They're just on the ground, like trying to find each other. I love it. Because whatever the smoke was getting in their eyes and the blood so they couldn't see anything, it was great. What amazing entertainment. I imagine they talked about it over on Kind of Fun.

If you want to go Lizzie and a Kistle, know about wrestling because he knows more about the wrestling side of it. But it was a lot of fun. First, though, before we're staying in the sports category. Uh-oh. Sporty spies, but in a very different way because we have to talk about Lola Bunny and Space Jam, too. The internet is a flame. This is where my expertise. Just like Little Mermaid, they took her breasts away.

And where are her breasts? This is where my expertise comes to play. I already had one Jake Young, my co-host, where's the brisers? It forced me to sit down and talk to him for a half an hour. our Patreon episode about this issue. Okay, let me give you a little bit of a history lesson on this. Please. Space Jam created by a bunch of dude bros, right?

Guys in a room. But also check out the Space Jam. Wizard and the Bruiser episode. You're welcome with them. It's great. And so when they went to go make this female bunny character that they wanted to have in the thing, it's a bunch of guys. And they started drawing what they felt would be a lady bunny, right?

And it just kind of looked like Bugs Bunny in drag, right? which is kind of like they couldn't figure out and so in order to quote feminize this bunny they went like it's a because it's the male gaze like 2 18 which also that was 25 years ago and we have now learned a lot that that doesn't mean that it is a more

feminine character just because they impress no no well this is where the controversy comes in right right right is the reaction to this so Lola is way over the top like slamming in Space Jam right to use a pun intended right

She is a bit of, like, every single, I feel like every single sexy cosplayer has a Lola Bunny spread. It is a known thing. I think it created a generation of future furries. She is, like, oddly sexual in the film. She got big, big old boobs and a craptop, essentially. And she's always, like, in an S shape, like, you know what I mean? Like, she's always the ass is, like, so far away from her tids. And kids are out.

Meanwhile, as we all know, is someone that I do have large, tombs. mountains. I gotta bind these bitches. If I'm doing any, I'm going downward, anything, I'm buying, they are flat against my body. Because if not, my nipples are gonna slap me in the eyes. And then I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be uncomfortable. You're blinded by your own nipples. Which is just, man, guys, we're killing it today. We got a whole parody out, song parody out. We are weird Al Yen bitches every year today. Yeah. And so it's this odd thing where like, the, And this, I feel like, is the story of the past few years in general, right? It's a story of overcorrecting. And then the overcorrection becomes a new issue all its own and has something to say about the female body, right? Or about whatever they're overcorrecting.

And in this case, the director comes out, he's, I forget the exact quotes, you have it, it's in there. The whole quote is like, we're trying to not be as horny about, we're trying to not be as horny about Lola Bunny as she initially was intended for some. some weird reason to be like this weird sex pot in the movie. I will say to, well, so anyways, so he corrects. And yes, they kind of make her, her, the bunny's breasts a lot. I mean, there's no way to jerk off to this bunny anymore, right? Like, there is just everything about this bunny is, is, is, says. I don't know.

No, no, no. I think that there definitely is a way to still because, you know what? That's the whole thing is that they rounded out her character. They said they wanted to focus on her athletic prowess, her leadership skills, and make her as full of a character and the others. And so I can jerk off to that. You can jerk off to her a whole lovely personality. Yeah, it's her confidence and her talent, and I can jerk off to that.

Because at the same time, there's, of course, the same argument of like, so are you also trying to say that an athletic person can't have tits and ass? Right, right, right. Then all, like, people good at athletics can't have curves. And there's that side of it as well. Right? Like, it's okay to look sexy and still expect to be taken seriously. So, like, the quote, right, is like, we wanted her to be like, I don't remember the exact quote.

But it was basically like, it created a dichotomy between, like, having big old visible pushed out tits. And being, like, respectable and fully realized. And that is the problem because you shouldn't have to put your tits away in order to still be respected. And so, yeah, that's what we mean by the overcorrection, right? And so, and the quote from the director, this 2021, it's important to reflect the authenticity of strong, capable female characters. So we reworked a lot of things, not only her look, like making sure she had an appropriate length on her shorts and was feminine without being objectified, but gave her a real voice.

For us, it was, let's ground her athletic prowess, her leadership skills and make her as full a character as the others. Now, that's cool. I think the one mistake they made, they made the tits too small and people are upset. so true though, right? Like they removed, they took the tits way down. They should have gone from like a D to like a B and they went from like a D to like an A. My favorite joke. They went from like a C to an A essentially, right? My favorite joke about this was in, you know, some non-binary humor for you is that people said Lillabunny had top surgery and we should be happy for them.

Yes. You know, she just doesn't have, you know, tits anymore, which if that's what she was, she was, then that's fine, but it is. And also, yeah, I agree with getting rid of the makeup because of someone that I enjoy putting on makeup. Yeah, take the makeup off of her because that shit's going to come get in your eyes. It's a problem I have even putting moisturizer on before I work out. Oh my God.

It gets in my eyes. Look, honestly, though, the original, I see what they were trying to do. The original movie, it was essentially like they made Jackie into a sexy cartoon bunny and put her in a lunitude's movie. She's the whole time. She's screaming for dong. She's like, ding dong goes the clock. I want the second word in that sentence I just said,

on me, in me, all over me. Literally at all points in the movie. And I think that was essentially like, why is she so weirdly horny in this children's movie? It seems kind of inappropriate. You know what I mean? And it's giving a lot of people a sexual awakening, which isn't terrible,

but it's just kind of an odd move, I'd say, for children's film. But I said this to Jake, and I wanted to throw this out there. I think what they're trying to appeal towards is the horny dad factor. And I think that if you can in a children's movie make a dad horny,

you're gonna sell more tickets. I think maybe that's what they were going through. Maybe it's an old school way of thought. But you think about it, you look back at old animated stuff, cartoon stuff, whatever. Disney doesn't matter what it is, there's always a little bit of horny dad energy going on in those movies, right?

And if you can pop, give dad half a stiffy in your movie, you're gonna just sell more, you're gonna bring more to the yard. In the same way on the opposite end of that, I wanted to have sex with the beast. The beast is the most common one.

The beast is sexy as fuck. There is no reason for the beast to be that sexy. But you know what? It gave me something to look at. I wanted to fall in love with the beast. And in fact, he was uglier as a man. And I will die on this hill. I liked him better as a beast.

I think that for people who liked, you know, for little kids who liked boys, the beast was to them as Lola Bunny was to little kids who liked girls. If that way. And when I say little kids, I mean like, I don't know, 10, 11 year olds. Although, right, like, it's because the beast, this is going to be my dissertation. The beast. Ooh, please. Like, the beast wasn't sexy in like a porn way. Beast was like just had some it factor that that really did it for us.

And Lola had an ass the size of a football stadium. Lola was like a porn cartoon, right? She was, I mean, it's like goes Jessica, in terms of fuckable cartoon characters for our childhood, Jessica Rabbit, number one, right? Number two, for the male gaze at least. Number two would definitely be easy with a bullet Lola Bunny, man. I mean, all you thought about was just like, where would the penis go if we were, you know what I mean?

It's all you think about. And that's kind of the weird funny thing about it. And so it's hilarious to see people very upset on all ends of this thing. I mean, horny men around the world are disgusted with the whole situation. First, they had to redesign the jersey. People don't like the redesign of the basketball uniform. Now they've taken the tits from the earth for us. You know what I mean?

As I'm speaking for my demographic right now, by the way. And I think I understand. Crucially, it's people who were like age 10 to 14 when Space Jam came out, like old enough to be horny. Because I think that, again, it's a beast. Old enough to be horny, my first album, yes. It was like the beast, I think I was like six or seven. And it wasn't like explicit horniness. It was like intrigue.

I don't know. And I didn't know why. It was huge. Because I wanted, like I remember that I had a cup. I got from like McDonald's or something that had the poster like the Beauty and the Beast on it. Remember when we used to get real cups?

I remember that, yeah. In the little happy meals or whatever. And I remember that I ripped off Bell on it because I also had dark hair so I always wanted to be Bell. So I ripped it off because I didn't want to look at Bell on the cup. I just wanted to look at the beast. Interesting.

Yeah, it's so, I love it. My mom knew it was going to be a difficult road with me from there. I'm going to say, I'll kill her. I love it. I want the beast. My take on this, looking at the redesign, as I stated before, I will end with this as well. It's just that they just should have not completely taken away the tits, and I think everybody would have been fine, right? She needed a little bit of fuckability. They just stripped her of all of her fuckability, and it is very obsess.

adding to see. You know what I mean? Yes, but you know where there's plenty of fuckability? On top of a mountain, all covered in Gucci. This picture of Adam Driver makes me leak out my poochie. Yes, I should just come up with that. Thank you for the applause. I can hear it from your homes. If you look up the House of Gucci, Adam Driver, Lady Gaga picture, that, so there was House of Versace, there's House of Gucci. I guess next has to be House of Zabrowski. Yes, House of Zabrowski will be coming soon. And I am excited about this. Did you look at the picture?

Yes. It's all you need. All you need. I mean, also directed by Ridley Scott, which is like the shit. But all you need is this picture to be like, yeah, where do we sign up? for this showing. Yes, can I have this? COVID to see this in the movie theater.

Yeah, exactly. I want to start. But also, why aren't we dressing like this? I need more of this fur, alp chic in my life. You know, perfect for L.A. living. Everyone says, when you move to L.A., you start dressing Alpsheek.

And this, I actually knew nothing about this until I read this article, that the movie is going to be about the assassination of Maurizio. Gucci by his ex-wife, Patrizia Rajani. And I didn't know that there was, because in the same way, when I was going to watch the Versace show, I was like, who gives an H about a Versace?

I didn't know anything about it. And then I watched the show and was like, oh, my God. Yeah. And now there's a whole Gucci controversy, and I had no idea. It makes sense, though. You think about the fashion world, it's the same thing as being a big deal musician or, actor in Hollywood, you know what you mean?

You're just like, you just have to live crazy. Especially at the height of it, it's very exciting. I love this kind of story. And Adam Driver and Lady Gaga look fucking phenomenal in this picture. They do. Wow. I need, I do look quite good. Except for all I can think about is how he like hates seeing himself in movies.

And it makes me kind of sad because he's so good. Yeah, but that also, it keeps him grounded, I guess. I don't know if you can be grounded. Look in that great. a cable-knit sweater. He looked so goddamn good. He's got such a big face, and yet it works so well for him.

God, it works so well in the same way that it works so well that Berea, we're going to be talking Italia, we're going to talk about Bria. And Spotify, this article really just, I started listening. So Spotify and

Bria have been making playlists. They make in Pascetti playlist. Yes, yes. I was trying to remember you were talking. Yes, yes.

Posquetti playlist, like mixtape spaghetti spaghetti and Moody Day Linguini. And what they've done is they have put together Spotify playlist the amount of time that it takes to make

the Piscetti. So you don't have to set a timer. And so each individual like the Moody Day Linguini, we all know Linguini takes more time than an angel hair. We all know.

know this. And so Moody de Linguini is a little bit longer than the angel hair. You don't have set a timer. All you have to do is open up Spotify. Find the playlist by search for. Get it. Play on the first one. Dump the pasta immediately press play. I guess also pay for prime so that you cannot get interrupted by commercials. You can't have commercials in it because you're going to ruin your Piscettys. I'm just kidding. I love Spotify. I can't get enough of it. I listen to it every day and I love Spotify. Yes, me too.

And I love Piscettys because I'm Italian. Oh, 11 minute, penurigate. And I love Pascettys. And I did listen to one, and I will say I did overcook the Piscettys. But I think it has more to do with the fact that I don't pay attention and that I am usually doing about 12 things at once. So, yes, I do say it a lot of times at once. I've truly become my mother when I say,

I like it burnt. But that's because I am doing 20 other things. Lexi honestly legitimately likes burnt shit as well. I actually do kind of like it burnt. It's so bizarre to me. Like last night, I was like, I totally overcooked dinner. I was just like, oh, yeah, I'm still trying to get used to our new kitchen equipment and everything, you know, the new oven and stuff because it's like I'm used to the old stuff.

And then I was like, oh, wait, you'll love this burn ass shit. Fucking love. I love it. I burnt it for you, my love. Oh, that's sweet. He ruined the dinner for her. That's sweet. But I guess it's also sweet because do we believe?

Mysteries abound. Do ghosts exist? We can't tell. Is an alien controlling our minds? I don't know. But do you believe in? The idea that. that the Glee cast is cursed?

Oh, yeah. I can already answer that one. But please continue. This one, this one comes, or do any of us have a, are any of us Gleebies or whatever they call us Glee glows or whatever they say? Glebes?

Not me. It was one of those things where it was like, too many people are saying, this is something you would really like, and I just push back on it. And I was like, no. Well, then my mom was like, you know the best show on TV is Glebe.

And I was like, well, now I'm never watching it. So nobody here is a glebey bridgers. No one. Okay. Oh, that was good, Holden. Gleby Waller Bridge. I actually, it was, there are times when I realized when there were shows or movies that were in a time period of true drunken debauchery in my life that, like, I think that

there was about six years where I watched nothing. Yeah. Because I was just drinking and working all the time. Like, I only partied. There are just times, I'm like, I don't know why I've never seen this. Like, oh, that was in the dark time when I consumed no media. You're just getting railed on. Other people are sitting at home, having dinner, watching Glee, holding hands,

and you're just getting slammed on a mirror that was initially covered in cocaine. And you can listen to almost all of that over on the round table. So none of us here is a Loch Ness Glee monster. No, no, no, no. I was not at home to watch Glee during that time. We weren't watching it then. None of us here was a Gleewee Herman, right? Is what we're saying.

Ew. It sounds like you're going to pee all over me. I would love to pee in a mouth on a Wednesday. But in lieu of that, I'll tell the Schleatherty. This actually comes from Nancy. Hi, Nancy. Nancy says, hello, Holden. I know that you and the rest of page seven hosts

didn't ride the Glee train, but it premiered the same year I started high school, so I ate that trash up. Hell yeah. Before Naya Rivera's untimely death last year, it's been a theory of mine that Glee has an exorcist and poltergeist-level, Hollywood curse. In 2013, before Glee ended,

main cast member, Corey Montieth, died at the age of 31 of a drug overdose. A couple of years later, Mark Sailing. Another cast member was arrested for possession of child pornography, and later took his own life. And the year of the devil, 2020, Naya Rivera's body was found in a lake

after a five-day search where it was discovered that she had drowned. That makes three deaths. deaths in the cast. It would be one thing if these were older people dying of natural causes, but these are three people in their 30s who died under tragic circumstances. Another thing that makes me suspicious

that the Glee cast is cursed is that Glee was a cultural phenomenon in the early 2010s. Yet most of the original castes had fairly unremarkable careers following the end of the show. And what's her name even got dragged through the mud recently too, right? The big one from that show. Face

House. Oh, Leah Michelle, right? Lea Michelle. Yeah, other Liam Bremini. My final piece of evidence that the Glee cast is cursed is Matthew Morrison's live performance as the Grinch last year. If that isn't cursed, I don't know what is. I love the podcast and hope that one day the world would get its shit together so I can finally attend one of y'all's live shows in L.A. Your friend, Nancy. Thank you, Nancy. Thank you so much, Nancy.

And definitely. I think that I do think that they might be cursed. That's a lot from one show unless it was the kind of, like, who knows what happened while they were shooting? Maybe it was just the kind of thing that they all kind of spun out from like becoming mega superstars really, really fast, which we all know, unfortunately, does lead to a lot of trauma as well as downfalls. A lot of Jackie during the roundtable days. Yeah, exactly.

All that kind of stuff. Yes, but I didn't have the money of the young traumas. Right. To do it. No, no, no. So mine was just regular normal trauma and not so much a curse. Apparently one of the directors one of the early seasons's name was Grim Hilda.

And she had a croak nose. She had this long, crazy nose thing and a big wart on her chin. And everyone said, ooh, Grim Hilda, why would they ever hire this witch woman to direct a thing? And apparently they could never get the takes right. At one point she was just like,

if you don't get this next musical number correct, a curse is to all of you. This is the problem. No one is perfect. And then they were supposed to do step, step, side step, jiggle, jiggle, step. And instead they did step, step, sidestep, jiggle, step. Oh, no.

I cursed you all. And I would say that it's just acapella itself that's cursed, but the pitch perfect people are all doing great. They're doing great. They're killing it. And pentonics, dude. Penitonics definitely not cursed. Fuck you, too.

They're getting fucking railed. right now, all of them in a good way. You know what I mean? Sexual pleasures. Yeah, I would say ugly. I agree. I agree. Wow, we agree.

I also ugly. That they are cursed. But I do hope positive energy to everyone else that is still alive, and I do hope that you take care of yourself. Except for what was it, Leah Michelle, right? Yeah, she's bad, right? She's bad woman. She's bad women.

She's bad news bears. Yeah. Shoot her out of a cannon, I say, and into the moon. Oh, see, that would be kind of fun, though. Yeah, you got to shoot them into the sun. Yeah, into the sun. Into the sun. But we, but I digress because before we shoot anyone into the sun, I want to give some shout-outs to some amazing people that wrote into page seven podcast at gmail.com.

Now, I want to start with, this goes out to Joe. And I don't want to say your last name, but your last name does remind me of the Gucci song that I sang. earlier. So Joe and his girlfriend, Heather, bought tickets to see us in Milwaukee last year before the great closing of our lives. And his girlfriend had accidentally left the tickets on the table. And then he knew that she left it on the table, and she did as well. So she bought two more tickets and then ended up being snowed out of our Milwaukee show. And they still make jokes about it to this day because they bought four tickets to a show that they didn't even end up being able to see. And so wrote this beautiful email.

I just want to say thank you, Joe, so much. And I want to give an amazing shout out to Heather for her birthday next weekend because they are both huge fans. They listen every week, and we love you. And Holden. Heather baby, happy birthday baby to you. For me. Holden, I've got tiny pee-pee in my pants.

I urinated sodomy pants. For you, Heather. Yeah, why is it? Why would you want that? Buddy, the way. I love it because Joe asked Holden to do it in the Santa baby oopsie poopsie voice. And so I apply. And I'm just like, man.

I know what that means. I'm ready. Let's go. So it's a punishment. It's a birthday punishment And happy birthday, Heather I also want to give

Happy birthday Heather Oops Put a driplet in my little pants For you, Heather Now you're from Long Island Yeah, it's very You're going very international with this Speaking of international

I want to give a thank you to Jenna From the UK Where the lockdown has been Insanely strict And so she has been learning how to rollerblade. So if you're listening to this right now, don't fall down. Stay up. Stay up, don't fall down.

Don't get, don't be taken away from what's happening in front of you. Oh, no! She survived. But also, we love you. And thank you for listening while you rollerblade. And one more birthday shout out goes out to Kristen from Abby. Your partner wants to wish you the half-twitch. 30th birthday because it's your second quarantine birthday.

We were talking about this earlier as well. Man, the second round of core birthdays are coming into style right now, and I think we got to bump it up. All right. So if this is your second birthday, we have to bump it up. Do something special. Buy something special. You know, of course, have it sent to your home because we can't go anywhere.

But try to make it a little bit more special if you can. And I just want to say that we love you, Abby and Kristen. Kristen, I hope you have as good a birthday as you can second time around in your early 20s, second time around. But you know what? Hot ears, the hottest. They're the hottest of the ears. Go get some prosciko. Uh-oh for Gucci.

We love you guys. And that's it. Okay. So can I stop talking like this now? Now you're Southern? Yes. Oops, I made a fart on a police officer. Oops, it's time for the list.

Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Oh, famous characters with unexpected origins. What? Now I've heard every. Yes, you are. You know what, Holden, I thought about you, because there are a good amount of some video game characters.

on here like Street Fighters M. Bison, who apparently he got that name kind of randomly. The character was originally called DeVega in the Japanese version of Street Fighter 2, and M. Bison was the name of a boxer character who was a pretty clear homage

to Mike Tyson. When the game was released outside Japan, Capcom just gave the M. Bison name to another character out of fear of lawsuit from Tyson. So Ballrog, who is very much designed after Mike Tyson, inspired by Mike Tyson, was named M. Bison. They were like, oh, this boxer Street Fighter character should probably not be.

So it's actually switched. So Ballrog's now Ballrog and M. Bison's now M. Bison. And then Vega is also, of course, the little Hispanic guy with the big Wolverine blade hands. Oh, I like it. I know. You love Street Fighter. I still don't understand it. I just always think whenever I think of Street Fighter, I think of being in an arcade just like,

slamming things down, like, stop, stop! Because I'm just getting pummeled and the fight ends so fast because I don't get it. You'll never beat me. Because it was like a little tiny Henry or whatever. No, he always sound exactly the same. He's like this! And did you guys know that Jordy LaForge was based on a disabled Star Trek superfan? So, um, Holden, have you done Trekkie Trek over there yet?

We did the original Star Trek. I believe this is next generation. Yes, it is. We have not done a next generation episode. I feel like we will probably pull Carolina in for that as well as she is like avid Star Trek. I'm very intimidated by Star Trek. We did do the history of the first run of it, the old school Star Trek that's like silly as hell. And, you know, we did that Star Trek.

So, and I did not know this, that the superfan's name was George Lerner. Forge, he'd suffered from muscular dystrophy, and he showed up all the time at fan conventions. He made friends with Gene Roddenberry, and Roddenberry remembered him when he was creating characters for the next generation. I think that's sick of shit. That's awesome. Very cool. Well, we'll probably repeat that fact on our Star Trek The Next Generation episode

to be open to 2021 or 2022. Well, I imagine you can also repeat this fact at some point that Mario was only created because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye. Hmm. So apparently when Shigero Mayamoto was making Donkey Kong, Nintendo tried to license the Popeye characters, but that fell through, so he came up with new ones, including Mario,

the media character. It's a Mario. That's kind of fun. Right? Isn't that? And uh-oh, we got a fish fucker on this list. Oh, no. Thunders, Les Grossman

was Tom Cruise's creation. The character wasn't in the script, but Cruz said, I think you need another villain other than just the 12-year-old drug king and suggested somebody who embodies the sleziest, semiest side of Hollywood. He is...

Arguably one of the best parts of that movie. Great in that movie. So good. I've been wanting to rewatch it again because I think about it all the time, especially when it comes to, you know, the award. Downy Juniors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and all that kind of, oh yeah, it's awesome.

Man, what a great, and I saw that in the theater. It's so funny, man. And Cookie Monster was created for an ad for munchos potato chips. So in general, the Muppets were, they started off doing these little advertisements, and they were literally like almost an ad agency before we got to the Muppet show. I love it. I don't know why he was purple, but I kind of almost like, like him Better Purple. In the ad, he ate up a whole bag of the chips to the slogan of, there's more to a muncho. Later, he made his way to Sesame Street and found a love of cookies rather than chess. I identify with a chip monster more. I'm a chip monster. I am also,

I'm quite a chip monster myself. And Wonder Girl was the result of the writer not reading Wonder Woman comics. When DC writer Bob Haynes was putting together Teen Titans, A comic book about superhero sidekicks teaming up, he included Wondergirl as Wonder Woman sidekick. But she was actually a young Wonder Woman, and the two only met in the same comic thanks to time travel. I love that shit. I really do, like, especially with getting into the lore

and like all the behind of everything with Wanda Vision, check out the Wizard and the Bruiser episode of Wanda Vision. I think it's so cool how they, like, when it's like they're writing something like, okay, well, how about we make it connect? like this. And it's so cool because you see it time and time again,

oh my God, am I becoming a nerd girl? Maybe. Nerd girl. I'm such a nerd girl. You are wearing glasses, so whatever. I'm such a nerd girl.

But also, we do talk about Wanda Vision on this week's talking TV and you should go check it out over on the page 7. Patreon, because we loved it. We loved it.

But also, Molly, did you finish one? Have you watched WandaVision? Yes, I finished it, and I loved it more than I've ever loved any superhero. I like superhero things. I never love the superhero show like this.

I think that makes a lot of sense if you're familiar with the run of the show because it's so unlike so much of the superhero stuff. But like Gideon started it without me, you know, because usually I'm like, do your superheroes and I'll, you know. Go do your, yeah, go in there and like, you know, hump the couch or whatever you watch.

And then like, Captain America, throw a shield hard. Yeah, exactly. I get it. I think by like episode five, he was like, I really, really want you to watch. And I was like, oh, I have to share your, something that is your thing with you.

I was like, it took me, I mean, I was intrigued by the first episode, but I was, maybe took me until episode three or four, but then I was like, holy shit, this is incredible. Yeah, yeah, totally. But deals with some really interesting deeper themes and, you know, it's not to say it's like fucking, I don't know, Chaucer or whatever, but. I think it's Chaucer. Oh, yeah.

It's not bright eyes, but. It's bright eyes. It's bright eyes and a superhero. show. Oh my god, did you hear the new bright eyes, Molly? Only a little bit, but yeah, it's good. And there's a new Holt study, too. What is it? My birthday? I, right? Oh, my God. Well, it just was your birthday. So I guess it's a bit of a, it's a late birthday present for you. And I'm going to round out this week's list with the monsters in where the wild things are. We're supposed to be horses. The original title of the book was Where the Wild Horses are. All the Wild Horses.

in the sun. Remember that song? Do you ever get into all the tired horses? No, but I'm going on a bad dillian. I will say I did wake up with the song, Goodbye horses. Oh, the creepy creep. I woke up with that in my head,

and I was just like, that was like two days ago. I was like, what is wrong with, what did I dream about last night? I need someone to make a playlist of all of the songs referenced on this episode. It's like a 12 to 15 song playlist. Honestly, you can definitely make a spaghetti in that show. You can definitely make a spaghetti playlist.

It's going to be a really long and very good playlist. Very weird. And yeah, and then the, I don't know if we'll end it with all the tired horses from the Bob Dylan's soundtrack because that one gets stuck in my head all the time. Because remember that song? It's just the same thing over and over again. All the tired horses in the sun. How am I supposed to get any riding done?

How am I supposed to see if I think I'm going blind? I was in the middle of singing. We can't see them. Finish, now you can finish your song. Woo. That's it. That was the end. All right.

What's your go-to karaoke song? Chat. I was supposed to chat. Oh, you think we're streaming right now. We're streaming right now. I'm always streaming in my mind. Okay, here we go. Here are a few fun quick blind items.

for you. There's an ongoing huge split between these singing siblings because of the same issues that plagued them in the past. One is just super thirsty and wants all the attention. Jonas Brothers.

I was like, the Osmond's and then they're not. Joe's brothers? And who do you think the me, me, me of the Jonas Brothers is? Whatever. Nick. Of course.

He's a big whatever, whatever. But I do love his wife. So what's her name from Game of Thrones? She's Sophie Turner. That's the first one. Are you ready for the next two? It's going to fucking make your heart bleed.

No, I don't want that. Is it sad? The massive selling of assets by the permanent A-list rapper slash mogul is in preparation for a divorce. Oh, it is sad. Jay-Z. J-Z Beyonce, bro. Wait, I thought it was going to be Kanye. No, dude.

We already know about their divorce. This is a secret one, right? Right. Jack Dorsey's company that's. not Twitter, it's called Square, is buying title from Jay-Z for $300 million, apparently. How is he going to live

off of just that? Also, don't worry. Hova also sold his stake in the champagne brand, Armand de Brignac, which is the Ace of Spades is the nickname due to the label of it. The Ice of Spade!

To the French luxury giant LvM.H. We're selling off a lot of stuff. They think it's indicative of a divorce. Oh, that does make my Heartbleed, even though I'm obviously going to be team Beyonce anyway, but I want to believe in their love. I know.

Yeah, but I have a feeling, you know what I mean? And think about the album we're going to get. Think about the albums we're going to get, actually. I mean, we said that about Adele, but, you know, we're also still waiting for that. But they started getting hammered with Harry, and that's why she's putting out her album getting hammered with Harry. It's just her drunkenly playing like

Cat Skills piano tunes while he's like, you know, he's like doing his best Neil Diamond impression. And Megan's just like, can you please spend time with me? I've ruined my life for you. And he's just like, ah, the piano man, say a song for me. Actually, that makes a lot of sense because Beyonce immediately came out in defending Megan Markle after the interview.

There you go. Remember that meeting? Remember when they met? And I remember, like, I think, was it Beyonce was pregnant or Megan Markle was pregnant? I just remember there was that the picture of the two of them and both faces are just like completely lit up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's fantastic, or actually know it's terrible.

Or maybe it's good. I just wish the best for everyone. I don't know. I'm just all confused. This last one. This last flight item is fried apparently at this point in the day. This network new ratings would be garbage for this annual show. They did a little here and there to make it even more painful to watch

because they want to renegotiate their deal with the organization and their production company and get a much lower price. The Golden Globes? Or yes, the Golden Globes and NBC apparently try to do their best to make it so that the globes will, they have to pay them less to have their show in their network is the theory of this blind item. Whoa. This show, by the way, it was the worst award show I've ever seen by far.

And I've seen a lot of bad, I've seen a lot of MTV award shows. Although those are usually kind of fun. I think I like those more at this point. Yeah. It had barely one third of the size of 2020's viewership, which is worse than any other events downslide during COVID times. Because nobody wants to watch people on Zoom, on TV. It was awful.

It's just a reminder. It just feels like you are also in a Zoom meeting, but like with Jason Sadecas. The Emmys pulled it off better by far. There was just something going on with this. It was so. janky it was so by the way i feel like you know they had like amy polar and tina fay like socially distance on the stage stop signaling they get to take the test they can stand right fucking next to each

yeah they can take eight tests before the ceremony stop trying to signal to people that like you're just like us know yeah we know we need to distance we want to see people next to each other in the same room at this point and i think that they could have done a lot more of that and they didn't and that was a huge misstep it's also not even how like the the fucking air works like it's if they're you know I wouldn't yeah it's not just making it awkward bad television yeah for no fucking reason like there's so much of that right now especially in hollywood it's like dude every single person can get a test like they could have had a lot more people i think in the actual theater like do putting the show on even but and at this point all these

celebrities are secretly already vaccinated anyways by the way so fucking just put on the show we don't need we don't need the signaling at this point we all know how to and And by the way, everyone either got the memo and went along with it or have since refused. We're not changing any minds here, especially at the golden gloves because all those people think that everyone there is a pedophile secretly anyways at this point that also refuses to wear a mask, right? So the whole thing's out the window by that point. Yeah, I think that's right. It's just too, it's, it doesn't, it's just too, too depressed. I like watching awards shows and I just was like, this is too depressing. It's just too,

much of a reminder of our terrible reality. Yes. Yeah. It's so dumb. And it's, yeah, I don't think, I think we're past the phase of, we're all in this together. We're just, we weren't even in the, we weren't well, like, the phase wasn't good when we were in the phase.

Like, it's time to just be like, we can now get everybody fucking tested, like, four times before the day of the show. We know everybody's legit. And we're going to literally like watch people. If they had come out and we'd seen Tina Faye and Amy Puller give each other a big hug and be like, you know what I mean? I would have loved that. Yes.

Yeah, that would have been, you're right. We need some sense of community to come back at some point. Like we got to start getting, we got to get back into it. I'm also even just trying to like talk more in person. Like I would say we need to get back into being around to people again. I don't know about y'all, but like it does hurt my brain like after like 15 minutes of talking to someone in person anymore. Like what is wrong with me? We need to get back to also.

when award shows were just silly and fun, especially the ones that were supposed to be silly and fun, like the Golden Gloves. Yes, that's supposed to be the drunk one. If the Academy Awards are a bit self-serious, that's the Academy Awards. But fucking, the Globes are supposed to be, everyone's supposed to be drunk.

So, like, figure it out. But don't do what you did. The Academy Awards are going to be the real weird ones because there's no movies. Yes, no movies. They'll be like, and the next award goes to least movie that came out this year. And it goes to Dune.

Dune was the biggest movie that didn't come. I think that's a book. Nah. All right. Blind I'm done. I can see. Let's get out of here. He can see.

And also, speaking of movies, I did see Judas and the Black Messiah last night. And I got to say, oh, my God. Was it awesome? It's so fucking good. I will talk about it more on talking TV next week. But just, man, such insane. Congratulations to the Lucas Brothers for making such an amazing film with Shaka King. It's so crazy.

It's so amazing. It's such a great movie. And also, congrats to Jermaine for not only being in, but also in coming to America. Hell yeah. There are positive things coming out right now. But also other positive things coming out is a new show on our next. Yes, I am referring to Natalie Jean and Amber Nelson's new show that will be debuting next week on March 17th. Yes, that is also Holden's wedding anniversary.

But don't remind, you have to keep reminding him that that's not the most important thing to happen on the 17th. It is the release of the first episode of Spun, which is someplace underneath. And you can listen to it wherever you get your podcast. Again, the premiere episode comes out next Wednesday, March 17. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack. That worm, and you can also definitely listen to me scream for

hours about Twilight if you would like to over on our Patreon, which is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast 7 the number. You can check me out Twitch.tv.tv.4 slash

Holdenators, ho. Check us out Monday, Tuesday, Friday night streams. The Friday night stream I do with Jackie is so much fun. And Molly? My name is Molly Nuffle and I am MJKL Kat on Instagram. We love you guys so much. Be safe.

Be good to each other and we will talk to you soon. Bye everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.