Page 7 - Ep. 395: Double the Bones

Episode Date: March 25, 2021

We goss about Oscar noms, Zack Snyder's Justice League, and in celebrity conspiracy corner: is OJ Simpson on the Masked Singer?!?!?!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I heard this song the other day. I haven't heard it in a long time. And you know what, Molly, it made me think of you. And it made me think of a lot of the ways everyone is feeling right now because I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare. I'm just a kid. I know that it's not fair. Nobody cares because I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight.

I don't know why I just assumed Molly that you also loved Simple Plan, did you? I was one of the extremely insufferable people who thought that Simple Plan was not punk enough. Oh, no. I take back my dedication. You are completely right. I completely understand. And I think that this was the time period. This was in 2002.

This is around the time period when I was trying to be like, no, I listen to other things besides new metal. but for me, this was like branching out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and it would have been one thing if I, like, only listened to the clash and, you know, the sex pistols or something. But really, I was, like, listening to Green Day and Rancid and then being, I mean, Green Day and Rancid,

I think are better than simple plan. However, I was like, I didn't have, I didn't have, like, the hardcore punk standing to act the way that I was acting, which was like, that's pop bullshit because I also love real big fish. So what was wrong with me? And I was steeped at this point.

I was in college at this point steeped in my jazz phase. So I was not getting laid. And I was definitely like, I don't watch TV anymore. I just listen to jazz and play chess. And that was a cool time to be around this guy. I just remember I would go into Holden's big yucky, I'm say yucky. Whatever. apartment.

It was nice for what it was. Chain smoking in the middle of the day, listening to jazz records. He would sit up from the recliner that was definitely broken that he would have to like maneuver to stand up out of. And drinking Carlo Rossi out of the jug. And I will say, Holden,

it was your classiest time. It was my classiest time. Those jug wine nights were amazing. We'd just go get two to three jugs of Carlo Rossi wine and we pass it around. This is like so. pre-COVID. We would literally not even fill up cups. We would just pass the jug around. You got to. You cannot drink Carla Rossi out of cups, so you have to drink it out of the

jug and you have to put it out, do the thing where you put it on your forearm and tilt it up and you have to pass it around. It's like a, it's like just compressing, spin the bottle and drinking wine into one activity. I wish I could take my taste buds back to the day that I was actually able to even just stomach Carla Rossi wine because it was so cheap and bountiful. that it would burn a hole through the bottom of my stomach if I tried to drink Carlo Lossi now. You have to have like youth organs in order to enjoy Carla Rossey wine. Youth organs. It's actually with the little hole that was up in the top.

And so at the time when you would try, like you would get so drunk that you would try to drink it just using that with your finger through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'd spill wine everywhere. So back in college, I forgot that. I had challenged two of my friends to a shot-taking drinking contest. And so the day that we had planned to do this shot

drinking contest, I went out and got a bunch of Carla-Rosie wine. Totally forgot. It was like a full jug deep. My friends show up. My friend show up. They were supposed to get a bottle of Jack Daniels for this competition. They instead were broke, so they

got this very cheap rum. Oh. That's a different game. They had to talk me into it. I was hammered when they got there. And so I just, we took multiple, we took several shots. I think there was one point where I was puking into the same toilet. Another friend of mine was peeing in.

I remember that happened that night. And the last thing I remember was I was laying in bed in my own apartment filled with some people. And I had my, we had all clasped hands with the two guys that I was doing this shot take constantly. And we were just going to live, to life. We live, to live. To life, we live. And we just got to say that over and over again. and then I passed out at my own apartment full of people

and stuff happened, I guess. How do we not die? The two feelings I'm feeling right now are simultaneously like powerful nostalgia. I didn't go to college with you guys, but every time you talk about it, I feel like I did because my experience was very similar. A bunch of drunky theater kids who also listen to jazz.

But so it's like, that, hearing that makes me like miss those times and simultaneously be like, how do I tell young people not to do this because you could die? We easily. How easily die? That was definitely a will he won't he moment and not in a romantic comedy. It was a rough one. And I just was so funny that I forgot that I had entered myself in a shot competition

and they got drunk before. It's things like that shot competitions. The last shot competition I did is when we did pork shot for gin shot and my buddy had made a bunch of pulled pork. And so we had pounds of pulled pork. So what we would do is do a gin shot and then do a pork shot. Oh, my Lord, Jackie. Yes, pork shoved into a shot glass.

Yeah, at least you're, but at least you're soaking it up with the pork. I mean, that's a lot better than just the shots like this guy. You're right. You're right. What we should tell the youth is if you're going to do a shot contest, make sure that you alternate shots of pulled pork. Right. Actually, you know what?

I wouldn't recommend that. But I will say we fertilized all of the front lawn. And I think that it, especially those Tallahassee Summers, baby, oh, it never lets you forget. But that's not what we're here to talk about today. We're here to talk about celebrity gossip. It's Oscar season instead. So don't drink till you die. Instead, you can arrive at the red carpet.

But not really, because they are, they are. doing an in-person Oscars this year, but they are keeping it high and tight, apparently. There's not going to be any host. It seems like they're going to try and do as close to what we used to do for the Oscars, and I don't know how this is going to go up. I think it's going to be very long, and I think it's going to be very boring. Again, I'd just like to repeat, all of these people got the vaccine at this point, so just let them hug.

Film it in different directions. Do that 3D camera or 360 camera filming? of people hugging and stuff, I'll watch it. I'll scream to it. Oh, yeah. That just makes me think of when Jason Mamoa did it. So we didn't do talking TV this week, so I didn't get to talk about being forced

to watch Zach Snyder's Justice League. Not forced. I did encourage it. I was down. I felt I needed to see it. Man, Jason Mamoa is just, I just, I want a cardboard cut out of him in the goddamn house. I don't care what he has to say.

Oh, look, he's shooting through the, water, but man, what just a son of a god, I guess, is the word that I'm talking about. A dimigod. Yes. But remember when he had that pink suit on with the pink scrunchy? God, he looked great. He's like a demigod hymbo. He really is.

He really is. Timmy god himbo, of course, is classic Greek canon of gods, absolutely. They're so sweet, though. Demigod himbo should be the name of our emo band that we're going to. to start. So Jackie, I want to hear the briefest review from you of the four hour long, and I have not watched you yet because I don't even want to feel like I can stomach it. Four hour long, Zach Snyder cut of Justice League, what do you got for us?

Honestly, it was pretty entertaining. Okay. I did have to have it explained to me because I haven't seen the other movies. And Jeff did a very good job of succinctly explaining where they have. Kahnem of this. I'd not seen Ben Affleck as the Batman. And you know what? He's great as a rich man. And I think that it's fun because they make lots of like, oh, he's just a rich guy. Everyone else are like demigods, but like this guy is just a rich guy. And I think that's a lot of fun. I thought that there was almost no plot, which was great for me, because I didn't know what was

going on. And wonderful fight sequences, all the, my, my biggest quam is the fact that every time Wonder Woman is on the goddamn screen, they do the ancient lamentations, which I see on the closed captioning, and I think it's really fucking annoying. What are the ancient lamentations? I love because you have subtitles on, so it literally says ancient lamentations. And every time they show her too. But the thing is that in between, they also show, like, they do, she's got this, like, guitar riff that they use way more in the Wonder Woman movie.

That's more fun. Ancient lamentations beat to end. Lamentation means the passionate expression of grief or sorrow. Weeping. See, the thing is, I get it. And I'm not against the idea of the sound of ancient lamentations, but it's just every time they showed her on the screen. It's like, we get it. She's an Amazon goddess.

Yeah, we get it. And in the slow motion, you're like, okay, just let her kill. And I know that this is the wrong podcast, and everyone should probably listen to Wizard and the Brewzer. for this explanation, but why is everyone so up in their twisted panties about the Snyder cut? Why is everyone talking about it? Okay, I don't even know enough, I would say, what happened? What had? Josh Whedon's a bad man, and he made the movie bad.

Long story short of what I am gathering, and this is coming from someone that knows nothing, that I'm giving you very abridged version, is that Zach Snyder was originally making the movie. I believe that it was his sister that committed suicide, and he had done 80. percent of the movie. So he had to pull out from the movie. And so Josh Whedon was brought in. And what did Josh Whedon do? He shit, shit, shit, shit, shit over everything that Zach Snyder was trying to do, took the parts that he liked, but basically remade the movie in a way that Zach Snyder was very against. Which is so funny because because Josh Whedon is so known for like his last big superhero movie, I believe was Age of Ultron, which was not well regarded the Avengers film, because it's so

quippy and it's too quippy like like the first avengers movie was just quippy enough and we enjoyed it and we thought it was fun and funny but also had great action and stuff like that age of ultron like even the villain was like way too quippy and everybody was just like had some quip ass dumb ass thing to say we're like all right joss get the fuck out of here so it's just hilarious that so serious zack snider with his very serious gritty films would get taken over by mr quips Oops. Sorry. Did I mess your movie up?

It's just me. Joss. By the way, Jackie, his name's Joss. Not Josh. I'm sorry, Joss, Sweden. Also, I apologize. It was not trigger warning. It was not his sister.

It was his daughter. Oh. I knew that that was, that was like something wasn't going right in my brain. So that's what, of course. Yeah, of course you pull out. And so it was,

so on top of everything, at least what it seems is that, It was also for him, I imagine, mentally, he needed to go in and finish that movie. Go back and finish it. Got it. And so that's why I felt like I needed to see. It was like, now I'm interested. I've been hearing all about it.

I've seen more positive than negative. I've seen pretty positive reviews. As someone that does not give a fuck, I will say, if you have a partner that or if you have a friend that really wants to watch it and you're like, eh, you know what? I was very entertained. I was definitely trying to cross-stitch my way through it. and I put down the cross-stitch. Wow, it's a cross-stitch put-down, y'all.

It's a cross-stitch put-downer, and I think that that needs to be recognized. That is so funny. That is the perfect way to promote a movie to watch with your spouse. Like, it'll make them put down that shit they do to get through whatever thing you're making them watch. Well, because especially, like, with,

and it seems like there was a lot of issues. Again, I have not seen the Joss Whedon Justice League, but there is this character named Cyborg, who is an amazing character that I guess they took a lot of like the backstory away from him in that one but they keep in the backstory and it's a great back.

I was like, I want to see a whole movie about that guy. He's a really cool character and one of the like, at least of what I know of, one of the few diverse superhero characters as well that Joss Whedon just took out the backstory of. So that was a big issue as well

and Cyborg is great. And a lot of people are coming out lately to talk about a Jaws. Sweden's kind of an abusive director. Yes. Some Buffy the vampire people coming out. Yeah. He's like Mr. Nogo right now.

So we should all be like whatever big time. If you see him on the street. He's put into whatever jail. If you see him on the street, be like, Joss, whatever. Which is what I do to a lot of celebrities now that I'm in L.A. You know, I'll just seize you.

Shia! What ever. He's a fucking whatever jail. He's just like shakes his head. Ever since whole the move to L.A., there's just been a spike in celebrities being put into whatever jail. Yeah. Oh my God.

It's packed. It is bad. I'm the whatever jail bandit right now for sure. It is rough. You are the whatever jail bandit. When it comes down to, let's talk about the Oscars, I have, so it hasn't come out yet. But have you guys watched the trailer for the father yet? Yes.

No, but I know what it's about. I don't know if I can handle that. I think, I mean, we have to watch. I have to watch. You know I love Sad. But so it's the Olivia Coleman, Anthony Hopkins movie, and I just, oh my God. I feel like Anthony Hopkins now every year is nominated for a movie for the Oscars, for his work that no one sees. So I'm glad you're bringing this up.

It was like last year, I think it was the two popes. It was like, it's always in The Father this year. It's always like a name of a movie that you're like, God, that sounds like watching paint dry, the name of that. That's going to be awful. Yeah, this is, when Jackie sent the email was like, we're going to talk about the Oscars,

and I, like, looked at the Oscar nominations. I was like, I haven't heard of fuck all of these movies. It's so weird. I mean, I had to watch the trailer for Mank. I had to watch the trailer for the father. I had to watch the trailer for, what's the fucking, is it Nomad Land? That one actually looks like that one looks interesting.

No, Madland, I saw it was good. It's, it's just, it's rough. I'm excited for Chloe Zhao too, because it does look like it, who is nominated for the director as well. It looks like one of those amazing movies that'll be into, but I also don't, I'm like, mentally, I don't know if I can watch it right now. I'm like, I want to go. I want to go. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I will just say, I mean, think about it. None of the fun movies came out last year. They pushed all of the fun movies to 2021 or even 2022. So every movie, I mean, there's some really good stuff in here. Of course, obviously, shout out to the Lucas Brothers. And there. Congrats, congratulations to the Black Messiah.

So funny. Again, they co-wrote that. Very heavy. Yeah. Yeah, but it's all really heavy. All of it. So far sound of metal. I can't wait to see.

Very heavy. Sound of metal, very heavy about a metal drummer that loses his hearing. That one really spoke to me because I have so many passions. I'm a passionate guy. People really say that about me. Everyone's always saying it. I had a lot of, like, I had a lot of, okay, Cuba dates, like, stop seeing me

because they were like, you're too passionate. And your passion, and your passion bleeds into my passion. What I describe, Holden to other people, the first thing I always say is, like, he's just a guy with, like, a lot of passions. So passionate, man. Kind of the most defining thing about him. Are you talking about singer-songwriter,

Holden? Because, yes, I get it. Is it truth? Yeah, I've been working on this one song. Is it truth? Is it truth? That's all I got so far, but I'm really working on that one. Yeah, yeah.

Is it truth is what it's called? Is it true? Music is one of your big passions, music. Music is passion. Music is truth. So I'm just trying to bring that passion and that honesty into my singer's songwriting. But before I get into that,

what are we even talking about? We were talking about the Oscars and how much, how hilarious it is that. Ben Close has been nominated for an Oscar as well as the Razzie for Hillbilly Ellogy. I cannot bring myself to watch it. Do that. I feel like, wait, did you end up watching it?

I have not watched. So I saw the trailer. I've read the book. Why did I read the book? I don't know. It's like conservative propaganda, but I read it. I was curious. You read the book?

I read like half of the book. Dime, Dime. Maybe three quarters of the book. So I feel like I am on solid footing to say, fuck, Hillbilly Elogy. Wow, I like it. And I love Glenn Close. And I, oh, that, watching the trailer for Hillbilly Elogy was a big, yikes. If you're not familiar, it is like, so the guy who wrote it was like, I grew up in Appalachia.

And like, I, so I can write a book about how, like, poor people don't deserve. welfare because it's like all of their problems are their own making. It's like very, very conservative kind of like blaming poor people, blaming like culture or whatever. And culture of poverty, shit, but for Appalachia. And then they like turned it into a Netflix documentary that's just like so painfully cringy, like cartoonish caricature of like Appalachia. It is, it's rough. It's, and Glenn Close, I had to like double, when you said that she got nominated for an Oscar, I was like, you got to be kidding me. I thought that, I thought that thing was universally panned.

Well, also received the role. It's up for the Razzie for it as well. And I think it makes sense. I think that instead of watching Mama, I'd rather watch Glenn Close's side breast in the big chill as she cries in the shower. It's like, if I want to see a great Glenn Close movie, I'm putting. Not on the big jail. Yeah, of course. You know, she has a lot of range.

And I don't think that the mama character is just going to do her talent justice. It's so interesting because his whole thing is like, I have the standing to write this because this was my like lived experience. Okay, sure. That's kind of why I wanted to read it. I was interested. But then he just like, at least the Netflix thing, just turn. it into just like a the worst stereotypes you could ever imagine about like you know poor white people he's just like let's just let's just cast glen close in it it's just very very cringy sorry

also very very very big sidebar here um i did i was just looking at glen close i forgot that glen close was in the house of the spirits and now looking back realize which is written by isabella yende about the lives of a South American family that is cast with Jeremy Irons, Merrill Streep, Winona Ryder, Gwen Coates. Keep going. I don't worry, Antonio Bandererson.

Okay. That movie must be bad, right, if I've never heard of it before. And it has that cast. Well, House of the Sparrest is an amazing book. I've never seen the movie before, but I get, maybe that this is what,

I will say the top of the Wikipedia says, while the film won some minor awards, it was widely viewed as a critical failure. Wow, what a cast, man. It's an amazing book, though. What a, what a misoperative. Like, I love that they take an amazing book, and they're like, let's just get the most all-star white cast

we possibly could. Yeah. I mean, it was 94, so I guess, you know, different time. Different times. So I didn't need to go into this whole. thing, but I'm just a little shocked. Well, that's, it is like, I feel like, you know, the Emma Stone, you know, things here and there kind of make people be like, oh, why are we having this conversation now?

But truly, if you go back, there's just decades of conversations like this we could be having. My God. The entire, except for Antonio Banderas? Yikes. Can I bring up a film listed on the Razies that piqued my interest for a potential together watch movie night? That would be the apparently the 50 shades of gray knockoff, 365 days. I'm going to throw this out there.

You know how much I love sexy. I shut it off. Oh, you watch it? I shut it off. Okay, so this is a 2020 Polish erotic romantic drama film. And it's based on. There is a reason, and I can say this is a Polish person. There is a reason you very rarely hear the phrase Polish and erotic.

Is it all the confidence? Is it, is it tell? It's just, I will say, when I look at my dad, I don't think erotic. I will throw that out there. Not that, you know, I also lived in Greenpoint for a very long time. And with the last name, Zabrowski, I was definitely tried to be welcomed into the Polish community because Greenpoint is a widely Polish neighborhood. and every time I'm like, I only know they bushy dupa, which means kiss my ass.

I have nothing else for you. And I wish I could be as scary as the women that I knew in Greenpoint. Yes, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it. But the plot follows a young woman from Warsaw in a spiritless relationship falling for a dominant Sicilian man who imprisons and imposes on her a period of 360. five days for which to fall in love with him. It was horrible. Kind of sounds like that Christmas movie that we watched with a...

Holiday and Hancuffs. It sounds like holiday and handcuffs. It's holiday and handcuffs. It's Polish holiday and handcuffs. It's Polish holiday and handcuffs. No fucking thank you. No wonder it was up for the Razies. It was right.

And I, of course I get it. It's the whole like he's in the Sicilian mafia. That's where like we're like the erotic side comes from it. But at the same time. it's just, oh, you're just going to hold her hostage for a year and make her fall in love with you with your lust? Nah, I'm good. That's the normal courtship procedure.

Yeah, that's what my dad said I was supposed to do in college. And instead, I was just, like, talk to people after my comedy shows. Maybe you were doing it all wrong. That's the problem. Yeah, he called it a viable option. He was like, you take her, you put her in cage. I was like, Dad, I don't know what that accident is, I don't know where you're from.

You know what I mean? But I'm not going to put her in cage, Dad. I'm going to ask her about her likes and dislikes and see if we have common ground with each other. Have you guys watched 50 Shades of Gray, though? No, I have not actually watched 50 Shades of Gray. Do we need to do a group watch of that at some point? Or are you going to move on to that after Twilight, Jackie?

I don't know because the word on the street is, don't bother. I think that the word on the street don't bother. Especially from like BDSM people is like, this is like a terrible representation of this, but I just happened to love very trashy, very sexy movies. And so years ago, I was like, of course I'll watch 50 Shades of Great. I remember that the trailer for it also had crazy in love. And so that really pulled me in.

And I don't remember anything about it other than it being too boring for a movie about sex. But it also has the guy from the fall whose name I can't remember, but who is like the absolute hottest actor on earth. right now and so it's good for that. There's the two sequels as well that, you know, there's 50 shades darker and then 50 shades freed. Jamie Dornan, that's his name, sorry, I wasn't going to pay attention until I can remember his name.

Jamie Dornan. Thank you. Yes, I haven't gotten, you know what it is? When my mom loved the 50 shades and when my mom loves it. And not because, like, I feel like when mom loves it, like you can't. And the same with, it's like, I really enjoyed watching. I'm watching Outlander, but my mom loves Outlander. And there's just a level where I'm like,

I can't be getting juiced and this is only my family. I understand that some people are completely open. My mother and I don't have that relationship, and I just can't watch the word she gets used to. I watched, not that my mom was getting juice to it, but I definitely watched American Beauty with her in the movie theater. Oh, in the movie theater. Very uncomfortable.

Very comfortable. I hated that. And I really enjoyed it. enjoy the movie. I feel like maybe I wouldn't as much in hindsight. It's a bit cheezos. But I remember I came home later. My dad was having a mental breakdown. He was having a midlife crisis. He was just like, you know, I was having dinner with him and he was being all creepy. I was like,

you're creeping me out or whatever. You know what I mean? Get me out of here, right? I'm just a kid in the world. And he was just like, you know, David Spade's character in that movie? And I was like, yeah, he was like, that's how I feel these days. And I was just like, check please. And we were in the dining room, so I couldn't get a waiter to magically appear and give me the check, but I was just like, get me out of daddy jail. Get me out. I am in dad, a prison of my father's making right now.

Get your BMW convertible and get out of here. I watch, I think that I've talked about it on here before. I still haven't seen it since and I need to. I saw Mulhollen Drive with my mother in the movie theater and I wanted because, again, just vigorous, long jerk off scenes. Yeah, that's way worse than American Beauty. Oh my God. And I want it.

to die. I was like, please don't do it again. And of course I'm going to do it again. I'm like, I will die in the movie here. Why would you ever watch a David Lynch movie with your parents? Just rule of thumb. Rule of thumb. Do not watch a David Lynch movie with your.

That's your parents' fault. Your parents should have been like, this is not a movie we should watch with our child. Yeah. No. Oh, is it by the same guy who directed that scene where what's his name's going, fuck me, mommy, fuck me. Oh, is it by that guy? Let's watch it with the parents.

What a family romp that must be. Fucking brutal. So long story short, don't watch 365 days because it's definitely chock full of like, especially with everything with Army Hammer right now. It's like, it is chock full of that like, no, of course it's consensual. We both have kinks. We're like, no, it's not, though. And it's actually not sexy and very uncomfortable and very yucky.

Yeah. I'm surprised it's actually even up for the Razzies. Like I'm even surprised that anyone is still trying to get people to. Because again, everyone, like, when it was coming out, a lot of people hit me up of like, Jackie, sexy. And I was like, fuck, yeah. And then I just, I could. Can't wait to flick my bean to this one. And then you sit down and get all your sort of oral lubrication out or whatever you use.

I don't know what you use. Your smell good stuff that you use and you're. just flip it on. The roommates are like, why would you do this in the living room? Watch your sex movies in the privacy of your bedroom. You're like, oh, flick my pain wherever I want. Holden, are you insinuating that I pour a bunch of scents on my pussy? Yeah, I was like, wait, does Jackie, like, smell, have, like, aromatherapy for lubrication

that she talks openly about that I don't know. Should I? Smell good lubricants, yeah, for sure. It ups your game. Yeah, yeah. Like essential oils, but when you smell them, you get ready. This one makes you, yeah, this one heals your aura and fucking smells like hot dogs and makes you come. Juses your looses.

Get me loose, especially while watching Hillbilly elegy. I cannot, I will not watch it. Yeah. I don't think I can. I kind of want to, you know, if there is a night when Gideon's working or something and I just want to, because I love trash. I love trash. I think I'm going to watch the first episode of Hillbilly Eladie just to see, just so because I've already read the book, so why not watch this show, just so that I can really feel firm in my stance on it. And it's going to be fun to watch

Glenn Close be a good actor playing a bad character. Like that's going to be, I like that. And it's classic, classic Academy Awards that you never give the award to the person. for the thing they deserve. You give it to the person well after the fact as a bit of an apology. So I'm not going to be shocked. Yes, she definitely should have gotten it

probably for Big Chill. Maybe Cruella DeVille deserved an Oscar. You know what I mean? No? Okay. Whatever. But you've seen promising young woman though.

I guess you're dead to me. But you like promising young woman, right? I did enjoy promising young woman quite a bit. I think it was falsely advertised is like a slasher horror movie, and it's super not that, even though there is some violence and things. But I think it's great.

I think it's definitely written after, like, let's say, people like the Brett Kavanaugh's of the world have started to be called out later in life, at least a little bit. And this is a movie, I think, definitely speaking towards that and speaking towards more of needing more of that. And also, like, oh, what if they actually, though,

got real consequences from the things they did in college that they try to, forget about or laugh off as being a, you know, a young, stupid person, you know, because that's the worst, right? To seeing, I think that's what a lot of people are going through. And I don't think I have any specific, I mean, I was bullied in high school by people who I see now, you know, being rich and having families. And even though I know they're terrible people.

Like, we all have that experience more than ever, right? Because of Facebook and stuff like that. So, but I think there's even more, other trauma that people can speak so much more. more to in their own personal lives. And that's what this movie I think is about in a lot of ways. Like that, that wish for revenge that so many people wish they could rot onto the world, especially as you sit back and watch on Twitter or Facebook or whatever,

people like crushing it with their perfect families. And here we're on our skiing vacation. And I'm a good guy now. You know what I mean? Like trying to act like they weren't like a complete piece of shit in college and, you know, ruining lives. in their positions of power. So anyways, I'm a good guy, though.

You are. I just want people to know that. It's Margo Robbie, right? No, it's fucking what's her name? Not Emma. Oh, it's Carrie Mulligan! Can I take a Mulligan on that last answer? Wow!

It's a golf term. Yes! And I just realized Minari is also available to be watched as well now because last time I looked it wasn't available. So I'm excited that I'm excited that all these movies are coming out, and that really excites me. Something that no one is excited about is the fact that Dr. Oz is the guest host for Jeopardy for the next two weeks.

And the internet is pissed off about it. At first I was just like, all right, whatever, outrage. But I'd be like, no, this is hilarious. This is a show known for its being all about facts, all about the stating of clear plain facts. And this is a guy. More dry and objective than Jeopardy. The Jeopardy. And this is a snake oil salesman being put at the podium to be like, I'm Mr. Facts.

And so many things that he has stated as fact has been complete horseshit. It would be kind of great if they did like a funny parody version of Jeopardy with him where like none of it's the truth. It's all bullshit categories. It's like essential oils for 500, you know? That's a really good idea. Goop will be one of the categories. Goop for 1, Goop will get the double jeopardy for sure. Yeah, it's like all that kind of stuff.

Like MLMs. A whole column for like weight loss, you know, weight loss fads. I'm getting disheartened by some of my ex-high school classmates that are now obviously ensconced in multi-level marketing schemes. And I just want to be like, don't do this. But I haven't talked to them in a decade. You're just seeing it? I feel like I've been seeing it as someone.

that grew up in Florida. Like, I feel like I know lots of people. I get messages all the time asking me, like, if you could just push these products for me. I'm like, no. A girl, I'm sorry that you are now trapped in this, but you should probably get out. I don't know if these cleaners are what I need to solidify my goals in life. Yeah, it's like, I'm a boss person or whatever.

That's the whole thing, right? It's like, be your own boss. It's like, that's not how to be your own boss. It's the opposite of being your own boss. You're like totally entrapped by this horrible scheme and not being your own boss. And I just, I want to reach out to them, but I don't know what to say. But it's very funny. Like, I think I got turned more onto it because of the subreddit MLM, which just talks

about multi-level marketing stuff. And definitely, definitely that made me realize how much it exists in my actual day-to-day on social media. All the signs are really clear. And I just don't understand this. Just Google fucking the name of your company that wants you to be a boss person,

be your own boss, and then just literally type MLM directly next to it in a Google search and immediately a whole thing of stuff will pop up about how it's a fucking multi-level marketing scheme. It always hurts my chest because the sister wives all work for Lula Rowe, which is a famous MLM.

and sister wives, stop. You make enough money on the show, which you probably don't. We all know that's true. That's why they have to work in the MLM. When I moved to New York, within like two weeks, this was probably 2008, I got a job interview. And I was so excited and they were like, it's going to be a group interview. So you're really going to need to stand out and differentiate yourself. Already a red flag.

And it was a group interview for. for a like a pyramid scheme MLM thing for like sharp scissors that were so sharp you could cut. Cut through cans? A penny with them. Oh my God, pennies? Pennies. And so in the group. Well, now I would invest in that.

I would invest in that. I'll believe it if I see it. In the group interview, we're all sitting in a circle. And the guy leading the interview was just cutting pennies with scissors the entire time. And everyone had to be like, wow, it's just they really work. Like it was, we all, like, as part of the interview, we had to kind of demonstrate our. They really worked. Wow.

That's amazing. I mean, I would love to work at QVC. I get the, like, the appeal, you know, it's like, I do kind of want to see, like, oh, can I take this piece of cardboard and be like, but it's not just a piece of cardboard. Look, you can slap it against your face. Slop, slap, slap, slap, slap, look, it makes it tighter. I'm getting into the face yoga business and the boarding. It would be called faceboarding and it would be like, not like waterboarding.

You're just trying, you're just following in the footsteps of Cher. And that's different. That's completely acceptable. Absolutely. Molly, over in the Share Pop history, which I never really thought about before. I don't know if you remember. Share did all of those hair product, late night. What are they called?

Infomercials. Infomercials. My God, my brain. But she was notoriously wore. only wigs. So she's doing all of these infomercials about how great the hair products are. But she's got wigs.

Bad rules. I remember that from a kid, but now as an adult, I do find it a little bit more amusing. Well, what I find amusing is filet of fish sandwiches. Wow. Interesting way to trick.

Great. Great. Is what Jaggie needs us to talk about. Yeah, I included the, the, Where and how the filet-o fish was invented. Yes, I did it.

Because I've never had a flay-o-fish before. Me neither. Oh, hey, have none of us had a filet of fish before? Why would you get that? It's insanity. Well, I know why we get it now because it's lint. But what the heck? Such a gross concept to be eating fish for McDonald's.

It's the cheese for me. The cheese is the thing that scares me the most. I think I would go, I never ate it along John Silvers, but I would. Like if I was on the highway, and I was hungry and the only thing for miles was the Long Don Silvers, I would do it. But there's something about a fast food restaurant that doesn't specialize in fast food seafood. Completely. Oh, dude, Long Don Silver's.

What was the other one? Red Lobster. Oh, Red Lobster is like gourmet. I love a lot of red lobster. That's different. Yeah. How dare you compare you. It's like a birthday.

You go there for your birthday. Man, last time I went to a red lobster, my belly hurt. I, we, because we're like, well, I mean, we're at a red lobster. So Jeff and I got multiple appetizers. Like, we did the whole thing. We're like, if we're at Red Lobster, let's fucking do it. Yeah. And I felt sick.

Oh, with the cheesy biscuits. I fucking love Red Lobster. Now I would make them at home, Molly. Really? Heads up. I made them a couple of nights ago. You can buy the box. Yes, you can buy the box.

And the boxes are only like $1.25. I hate them. I hate the boxes. And every once in a while, I'll make one. And they're so goddamn delicious. They're good at home, too. Yes Terrific

I'm good at home That's great Oh they're good at home You get it on Amazon But I buy them at big lots For $1.25 You buy them at Big Lots See this is

I was going to say Red Lobster actually Seems like food In a way that Filet of Fish doesn't really seem like food But I guess if you can buy it There's just something about

Ordering it from Amazon That makes it seem less like food Although I know you can order food From Amazon as well You can this great, beautiful new world. So I was looking at filial fish because I did notice, and I did wonder, I was like, man, all of these, because I watch a lot more commercials now, because I have so many streaming

services, and some of them I refuse to not pay all of the money for. So on all the commercials, they're really pushing all the fish sandwiches. And I was like, man, I guess it does have to do with Lent. So I looked it up, and I had no idea that the filial fish was, created because of Lent. And not that it wasn't just something like, oh, we can, we can push it now. They actually made it because if you are unfamiliar during Lent, I don't know if it's, is it just Holden you would know better?

Is it all Christians or is it just Catholics? Catholics. Catholics. Catholics can't eat meat on Fridays during Lent, but they can't eat fish. So all of these fast food places push any kind of fish sandwich. but specifically McDonald's in 1959, it was created because their sales went down so crazily on Fridays that they needed to have something to try and entice them licks. Yeah, that's what I'm calling Catholics from now on. Oh, those old licks want to get on in here and get that fish of a lay.

Yeah, it is such, it does seem so extreme to me that just for this one day during this one time of year, an entire, food item would be added to the menu and kept there, unlike the McRip, which people seem to clamor for, they can't get enough of it, they never get sick of it. And that is shocking to me. That must mean, that just, I guess, a testament to how many God-loving Catholics enjoy that delicious Mickey Dees. I will say I grew up in a very, very Catholic town, and my family, my extended family is Catholic, and so I was used to the Fish on Fridays thing. And it, it was so outsized, I was not, I just, did not, like, go to church, but it was such an outsized time of, like, you have to have a plan for eating fish on Fridays that, like, I, in my memory, I was like, do Catholics not eat fish any Friday the whole year? Because it was like such a big, like, my elementary, my public elementary school. Like, it was like fish on Fridays. Like, it was just such a thing in the culture, like fish on Fridays. And so I was less surprised by the Filio fish news because it is such a, it's like a fish on Fridays. It's just like a. It's just like a. Yeah, it's just a classic aspect of Catholic life, man.

I don't remember this being upholded as harshly in years past, but maybe I just have a bad memory. But Lexi actually practices Lent. And she, yeah, Friday night, last Friday we did. What's great is we got this place that does really good, like crawfish boils in the neighborhood. So we've been ordering from that place, which is kind of nice. So I'm not really minding it.

But yeah, we kind of can't just eat whatever on a Friday. Maybe this Friday though you should make Alexi a hula burger instead because at the same time when they released Filo fish they tried to because they were like oh we don't want the store to smell like fish. This is really what I wanted to talk about was his hula burger. Because what is a hula burger you might ask? Is it a slice of pineapple with cheese on it on a bun? The answer is yes. And I of course that didn't. You really thought that that was going to work?

Pineapple with cheese on it. I got to say, I was vegan in high school. And in high school, you know, in the Midwest, you eat a lot of fast food. You're going to theater contests. You're stopping at fast food. Fast food is life. You know, you're just driving around eating fast food. And at this time, the only place that had a veggie burger was Burger King.

And I would have taken the pineapple burger and been quite happy with it. And I'm a little bit sad that that's not. but it obviously also would have been, you know, I think you got to take the cheese off, and I think you got to think outside the box, McDonald's. You got to put like a salsa outside the bun. Outside the bun. I would say, though, we're forgetting about another cheese,

pineapple, and bread favorite, and that is Hawaiian pizza. Yeah. And I love it. I'm actually a fan, because I know there's been like a weird internet, like, oh, blah, blah, blah. Is a taco a sandwich? It's not a fucking sandwich, idiots.

Why are we even dapping the discussion about it? Lately, they've been up in arms about Hawaiian or pineapple pizza. See, and I like pineapple pizza, but you have to remember, that's a mousadeo, as my mom would say. True. That's a moussidel on there. If we're talking American cheese, and I am a ston. I am an American cheese ston, and you know that I am scared of saying that because I understand that it's not real cheese, but I like it for its meltability and it's griminess.

I don't want it on pineapple, though. Okay. I don't want it on pineapple either. I love pineapple. I can see that. I love. And I used to, as a vegan in high school, I spend a lot of time just eating,

going to, like, cookouts and eating buns with just ketchup and mustard on them. So the pineapple would have been a step up, you know. So that's my perspective. The loneliest Midwest vegan, they don't know where to eat. It was only because it was the early 2000s. I know it's much, much better now. Here's my question, too, to you two. I think the Catholics got this one wrong.

Fish is a meat. Whoa. I think it's a cheat. I think it's a cheat meat because I think that they were like, I think, I don't know the origins of this again. I don't have any familiarity with. It says no meat, and that means that they don't consider fish to be a meat. And I think that is crazy. Yeah.

Somewhere along the lines, I don't know, somebody should do an oral history of this. Somewhere along the lines, they decided, someone decided that fish wasn't meat and people have been running with it ever since. There's a lot of, you know, it's like pescatarianism. It's Catholics with no meat on Fridays. It's like, yeah, I don't know where that happened, but it, I guess because it's not an animal of the land. Molly, I just keep thinking about how many sad barbecues you went to. You must have gone to so many sad barbecues where you're like, I guess you can put a chip on it. And you're just like putting chips on bread.

And you're just like, thank you, yes. Can I have another? A real Lisa Simpson ever here. I was a real Lisa Simpson. Yeah. No, it was sad. You can't have friends with. Well, what was it?

Can't have friends with salad. You don't make friends with salad. You don't make friends with salad. The worst, I also was put in the, again, insufferable on my part, but unfair position of being like, no, we can't go to McDonald's. because the fries aren't vegetarian there. And, you know, all the salads have big chunks of meat in them. So it was, I was like, any fast food restaurant, I will find something.

I tried to be a very low-maintenance vegan, but I was like, McDonald's, everything is just sprayed with a spritzer of beef dallow. Please don't go to McDonald's for me. I just, but I guess, yeah, I'm not going to say I could have done the filet fish, but I couldn't have. But I could have asked for the pineapple burger, no cheese. She wants a fillet of fish without the fish. I don't know.

Can we trade kids? Do you have a kid? Especially as a vegan, because when I was really broke living in New York, I would just get cheese and mayo on a roll. And I lived off of that. It was 75 cents. I would eat two a day, and I lived off of that. I lived off dollar pizza when I moved to New York, because I moved to New York, because I was no longer vegan but was still vegetarian.

And the dollar pizza, you know, it'll get you through a year. 75 cents for a meal. She still found a way to smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a 12 pack of beer a day. No, no, no. I would buy 340s and I would come to the meeting with my role. And that's all I needed. You know, that's all you need. That's bread.

It's bread in a Coors Light big glass bottle also. So I'm a little bit classy. A little bit classy. Well, you're such an Alexis. Thank you. A little bit tipsy when I drive my car. Y'all, mysteries bound. So many scary terrors.

Lock-Nesty Monster, I don't know, but... Do you believe it? That O.J. Simpson's on the masked singer? Wow. So I got this from multiple sources. I was emailed this several times in the page 7 Gmail. By the way, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That's page the number seven podcast at gmail.com.

And it was one of those where I was definitely going to skip over it until two more people emailed me about it. I was like, maybe we got to address this. So this came in first from Natalie who says, I don't watch this show, but I saw this video and it seemed right up your alley. So I figured I'd give it to you. I don't know. I just love you guys. So this, by the way, the theory. here. Definitely watch the video. The theory comes in from a TikTok user named the DJ Violet with

two T's, the DJ Violet with two T's all one word. And she posts a very hilarious giggly video essay claiming that O.J. Simpson is in fact the grandpa monster on the current season of the masked singer. It's this hilarious-looking giant grandpa monster who uses a walker. Here's the evidence for why they think the juice is loose on the mass singer right now. In the clues for the grandpa monster, there is football stuff. Little X's and O's little football things, right? So that is leading people to believe that it's definitely like a football player, maybe retired.

He also, in the interview portion, says he's, quote, still working on shaking my bad reputation, so when this old monster takes his mask off, I hope you're not afraid of who I was a long time ago. Oh, that's so threatening. The poster also found an article that claimed OJ can sing quite well. Some article that was written quite a long time ago saying the juice has got a voice of gold. We've got a couple more people who wrote in about this. Melissa wrote in saying, I have a short amount of time to write this.

I'm on my lunch break. But I just came across this TikTok about the masked singer. I wish I could look up more proof, but I'm on a time crunch. I love the podcast. I've been an avid listener since the beginning. Jesse wrote in with the TikTok theory video and also said, I think it could be, this is interesting,

I think it could be Michael Vick, based on those clues. But the original video, but the original video suggested OJ. So what do you all think? And if you don't think it's OJ and you don't think it's Michael Vick, who do you think this football plan man with a problematic past could possibly be?

conspiracy in TV that's all McNail it another conspiracy theory back to you it better not be either

fucking one of them can I say that I will say I think this is like a hunch but my memory if my memory

serves correctly Michael Vick has at least engaged in like more like a more restorative process right

like he's acknowledged to the wrongdoing in a way that OJ has not. Has not. Still, yeah, still definitely, you definitely murdered those people. Definitely it hasn't come out.

That would be a wild swing. Honestly, if it's OJ, that is a wild ass swing. Michael Vick, though. It actually, I bet it is Michael Vick. You bet it's Michael Vick? I probably is. Yeah.

Trying to do a comeback. It's just weird that you said OJ Simpson because the other day on my Instagram I saw this clip that was of a woman coming up to O.J. And shaking his hand. was in the middle of an interview, and she's like, oh, I just wanted to, I always wanted to shake hands with a known murderer and then walked away. And the woman was like, how does that make you feel?

And he's like, oh, you know, and then cut to later on where she opens up a door and OJ was hiding behind it with a fake knife. And he, he, he, he, he, he asked her in the camera as like a JK. So I also wouldn't put it past OJ to do something like that. He's having too much fun being a famous murderer. That's the thing about OJ. He's having way too much fun. It's silly for him. We always talked about that jackass style video

that he tried to make not too long ago where he was like dressed up his old man. Yes. The whole reality show. There was a reality show of it. Just a nightmare. So I mean, it's like in a, in the modern age, everything is so cynical and disgusting.

I could see it. But it's probably more like Michael Vick. And I'm going to go ahead and say it's maybe some kind of, let me think, well, I was gonna say Charlie Manson, but he's dead. But maybe someone like him, you know what I mean? Maybe some kind of like just a, I'm a kid. But I mean, he also didn't play football, though.

He might have thrown the pigskin around a couple times. You think he was skinning out there? I think he was doing other kind of things with skin. All right. I don't know, I'm gonna say Michael Vic. I hope it's not OJ Simpson. And what do you think, Molly? I...

You think the juice is loose? I can tell this segment makes you visibly uncomfortable. What do you think? Well, I'm so torn because... Nown murderer for O.J. Simpson. Because again, I feel like Michael Vick is actually like an example of a celebrity that like has tried to atone for the wrongs. And if anything, like I would actually be, I think, you know, open to Michael Vick like

trying to have a comeback because if we think it is possible for people to do like really, really bad things and then like atone for them, I feel like he is one of those people who's trying to do that. He's a candidate, yeah. But at the same time, he's so much of a, like, pop culture, like, lightning rod that I feel like it's the mass singer is less likely to invite Michael Vick than they are to invite OJ Simpson. Because OJ Simpson just is, like, everywhere for some reason. He's everywhere.

He's everywhere. He, of all the things, now that we live in, like, cancel culture, is it taught? Can we stop? He never got canceled. Can we stop having him as a celebrity? He never got canceled. Oh, you can't cancel. cancel OJ.J. Is it really canceled culture?

So I think that it's... That's a day. Let's get. We cancel him. I think that it's O.J. I think that they wouldn't have Michael Vick because he's too controversial. And think about Chris Brown. Chris Brown is way less controversial than Michael Vick, right? And has engaged in no similar restorative process. So I think that it's going to be OJ because I think that he has a brand, a wacky murderer brand, and it's really working for him. And Michael Vick can't recover. So yeah, I think it's OJ. That's it. There's your conspiracy for the week. Thank you much.

Back to you, Jaggie. Oh, we believe. And before we get to the L, I'm not going to say the word because I don't want you sing yet. I want to give some shout out. It's a shout out corner. If you would like to write to us, you totally should at page 7 podcast at gmail.com because we absolutely love hearing from you. Holden loves getting the celebrity conspiracy theories from you. Slapp anything you want at us. We definitely read through all of them, but I do want to give some shoutouts to some amazing people that wrote in like Lauren.

She wanted to reach out and thank us for our podcast. She says, I lost my job a year ago today, and shortly after my husband introduced me to the last podcast network. Your show has been a light in my life this past year. Last month, my husband was let go from his job, and we both found solace in listening to page seven while we make dinner. together and I hope that you're making dinner together right now. And she also wants to let you know Molly that she gets excited every time you mention Skaw

because I'm a lifelong rude girl. And before the world ended, I would go see less than Jake every time they were in Philly. And I... Nice. How Molly's face just lit up when I said that was insane. Ah, I never meet anyone who loves less than Jake. That's so exciting. All right.

So again, simple plan, but less than Jake. which is fine. Not that they're the same. It's a bad. It's a bad. Less than Jake has two trombones, Jackie. Two trombones. That's double the bones.

And I want to say a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday. To Annalisa, who is spending her second, and it's a big birthday. It is a trademarkier birthday for her. But Annalisa, happy birthday. Your best friend Beck's wrote into us and said,

what better gift than to hear her name blasting out on our favorite podcast. She says, I miss her so much. We both have shitty lungs, so we haven't been able to hang out. But I just wanted to surprise her with a shout out from our favorite podcast friends to make her smile on her birthday. We love you. We love you. We love you. Happy birthday.

I'm sorry you had to have a second one go down. In Quar, I want to give another quick shout out to Lucy who told me to watch Elite on Netflix. And I fucking did. And it's amazing. Talk about Species Spicy and in fact I watched Elite when I shut off 365 so I did feel the need to mention it. That's a good endorsement. Oh, I mean, it was like I need something else sexy. Oh, I'm going to watch the sexy Spanish teen show instead.

And Olivia who sent us this amazing Guy Fietti music video. It's called Flavortown and it's got everything, she says. Guys face badly photoshopped onto deep fried corn, a montage of him eating various meats, and a guest appearance from Smashmouth. Please look up Flavor Town, Guy Fietti's music video, because it is one in a million. And last but not least, I need to give a shout out to Shanna.

And Shanna wrote like Banana, and I absolutely love Shanna Banana, and that's what I'm going to call you, whose best friend passed away on March 12th, and she is an absolute mess. I'm not going to cry. She says, this is the best news ever in reference to the nanny going to be available on HBO Max. She says, I'm sure it's already been sent this way to you, but thank you for the laughs and getting me through my commute.

I'm a K-12 school counselor in a very red state during a pandemic, and it's a bit stressful. Not sure how I can stay mentally healthy for the kids, but I'm trying my best. And she said, she and her best friend loved 90s everything, so every reference connects me to her. When I said goodbye to her before she passed, I said to put her glasses on my girl reference since we loved it so much. Love you guys and we love you too, Shanna. And yes, I'm crying. Wow, Shanna, thank you so much. That's so powerful.

Yeah, solidarity. And all the positive energy to you that I said, not that it changes anything. Oh, Jackie, stop crying. We've got a list to get to. Who's on the list? Jackie! That's this. She's still crying.

Still crying. Do you want me to read the list? Because it's a good list. Are you talking about the list I sent you, or did you see the juke list I just sent you? I got your new list. I want the new list. Yeah. New list.

New list. The new list is the five failed McDonald's menu items because I looked in the Hula Burger, because I did want to see if it was American cheese that was on top of it before I spoke. Because now that I know everything about Hula burgers, because of course number five is the Hula Burger. So business Big Donald's founder, we all know about it. We just talked about it.

It's grilled pineapple with cheese on it. I need to blow my nose. Hold on. I'm so over the fucking Hula burger that you're, everyone's a whatever Joe right now, especially Jackie's tears. Jackie's tears are whatever. Don't put Shanna in,

but in it, but she deserves to be outside of whatever jail, unless she wants to be in whatever jail. I didn't say she was in whatever jail. I said your tears are whatever jail. Oh, the tears are in red, yeah, but what about the Mick Pizza? Oh my God. That's in whatever jail, I think.

Any, it always throws me up. Even those Taco Bell Pizza Hut combo spots, throw me off. I'm like, it needs to be one or the other in terms of cuisine. That's why I have a hard time with Jack at the Box for that reason. I'm like, I don't, that's too many different things. You know what I mean? a lot.

I'll accept it at like a diner. I was going to say a diner can do it. I feel like the thing with fast food is that you know everything's already just pre-made and frozen. So that's why. Just stick to one lane. One lane. One lane. But they tried the McPisa.

And I like that. It says A-A-H at the end of the pizza. Has anyone ever had one? Big Pizza. No. It was in the late 1980s. Early 1980s. Oh, we missed it.

Yes. Apparently, they also were trying at this time period to add options like lasagna and spaghetti. But unfortunately, McDonald's customers didn't like it. And apparently McDonald's customers who were used to fast service were irritated by the long wait times for made to order pizza. Who knew that they wouldn't want to wait for a pizza to be made? I don't know. I just made a face about the spaghetti and the lasagna. But now that I think about it, like I love like a frozen microwave. lasagna. So McDonald's could do that for me.

But again, I mean, it's just not why I'm going there, man. I'm going there for them burgers, son. And then fucking fries, dog. Oh, man, I completely, I remember the Arch Deluxe. Me too. I just saw this. I was like, dude, I so remember the Arch Deluxe. Yep.

Yeah, remember they were trying to make like higher quality burgers for a while. They were like a little bit thicker but had like nicer stuff on top. It was this the same time? as Hardies was doing the Angus Angus burgers, do they still do that? It was like, this is like the kind of burger you'll get it on Applebee's instead of the kind of burger you get it to McDonald's.

Right, right, right, right. And there are definitely, you know what? I think a lot of fast food places do that kind of thing now and I never go for it. I want the cheap. I'm here for the cheap. I don't want to pay $9 for a burger when I'm at McDonald's.

Right. Yeah. That's not what I'm there for. Well, now you pay that anyways, but yeah. Oh, my don't even go that. This last one, this last entry is already in, oh no, I'm sorry, I'm jumping ahead. We have two.

But I'm going to go ahead and say that number one is already in whatever jail. Oh, it's in whatever jail. That's why I ended up jukeing and sending you guys this list. But first, we need to talk about the McLean deluxe. Man, I don't talk about Molly McButter often. And I know I've brought it up to you guys before. But we definitely were raised in an Italian house where my mom thought we could put cheese, and have like, because like, we are fat because we ate real food.

So, but in the ways that my mom would like, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to make a meatloaf, but she'd fill it with flax so that we'd shit a bunch, you know, like stuff like that, where she thought that using Molly McButter instead of real butter was better because it's, there's no fat in it, which, what does that mean? It's sawdust. And then there's things like the McLean deluxe, which is, it was after Super Size Meat came out. And which was, you know, remember, the doc attacking McDonald's. for how unhealthy the menu is.

So to appease the critics, they made a leaner burger called the McLean Deluxe, advertised the burger as 91% fat-free, which it's just, sure, beef made up 90% of the patty, and water and Kerriganinan made up the remaining 10%. But what about everything else? This is the thing. You go get an impossible burger, an impossible meat is great. But that doesn't make it good for you. It's better environmentally.

I definitely use only impossible or beyond beef in my own home now because it's better for that. But don't lie to yourself. It's not better for you. Yeah. I think that's the key. Like a black bean burger, like a real, if you make a real straight up veg, like I never even like an actual veggie burger made of like fucking quinoa and lentils and black beans, yes. You feel very good about yourself.

Right. If you do that, that is, that is veggies. But I put cheese and mayo on my impossible burgers. Like, it's not good for you. Yeah. Impossible burgers, I just don't know what is in it. I love it. Same with fake bacon from fucking Morning Star fake bacon.

I love that shit. I don't know what's in it. It's not food, but I eat it. Don't even get me started on soyrizo. Do you ever get, I'm obsessed with soyrizo. It's bad that gerizzo. I haven't had soyrizo. That sounds great.

Sorizo's amazing. I need to know what this next one is. Oh, is it the McAfrica? Ooh. I like a lot to take you to McDonald's in Africa. I love the picture. There's a picture here, a stock photo of like two hands holding rice. It says, with Africa suffering famines, people consider the McAfrica tasteless.

There's not even a picture of the burger just of presumably African hands holding grains of rice. And what is the McAfrica, you might ask? Well, apparently they've done this in different things. places. They tried to get a little more cultural. McDonald's first relieved the Mic Arabia, which was a flat bread sandwich with chicken, salad, and garlic sauce on it, released in Arab countries, and in Egypt to help stop a boycott of American products in response to the Iraq War. Why did they do in Africa? The company made a major foiepaw. It was released in Norway in 2002. The Mick Africa consisted of beef and veggies and a pita bread.

It wasn't that it tasted bad, but it wasn't bad taste. That's because McDonald's happened to release this sandwich at a time when massive famine was occurring in Africa. The irony was too glaring for people to ignore. After being attacked as insensitive, the company agreed to roll back on its plans for the sandwich and kept donation boxes for hunger relief charities at the restaurants. Oh, good. Oh, you mean the little boxes where most of the money doesn't? doesn't go anywhere near the people that you're claiming that it helps.

Oh, that's the same. That's good. Good for McDonald's. Good. Don't donate any money. No, no, no, no, no. Just keep the boxes where people can put their pennies in it. I feel like just the word McAfrica is the offense.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not the sandwich. It's the word. It's so tasteless. Really? McAfrica? And I am, I think I'm sightless. Oh, my God.

I think I'm going. Blind items. Oh, you can't see them. Wow, you can't even see these blind items. They're so blind. First one is this. I love throwing both of you off with my intro to the blind items. What?

Why is he saying these things? Keeps us on our toes. Yep, keep them up there. All right, this first one. This is a back in the day. We have a couple of back in the days today, and it's kind of fun. Okay, so try to pay this. attention, all right? Really focused this time. I'm focused. This actress has seemingly been around

since the beginning of time. I mean, when you get up there to the age of Betty White, that is saying something. The thing is, our actress didn't become super famous until much later in life. Oh, sure, she had a nice steady career, but nothing like that hit television crime show. It was when she got super famous that she had to pay off a tabloid to not mention how her children were members of the Manson family. They didn't take part in the killing are planning, but we're neck deep in the family. So the big clue here is she's old and kind of has always been old. And she had a big hit show about murder.

Angela Lansberry? Yeah, dude. Wow. Her daughter, this is for the last podcast fans out there. Her daughter, Adirdre D.D. Shaw, she's known as Dedy. She turned to drugs in high school. She started to follow Charles Manson who felt could help him. get famous and had great access to her parents' wealth.

And she would even go and, like, raid the, you know, raid her the fridge and the pantry at their mansion house and, then, like, take them to Manson and his followers. After the murders, Angela Lansbury took her children out of Hollywood and to Ireland and D.D. got treatment for heroin addiction. Wow. How crazy is that? Whoa.

Wow. That's crazy. That is. I'm surprised that's not a better known fact. Yeah. Isn't that a wild one? I don't know if they covered it on, I do believe I listened to the Manson series that they did,

but I don't know if I don't remember them necessarily covering that. All right, we'll do Angela Lansbury because now I'm also on top of that, want to know what she did up until she started acting. Yeah. This next person's bad, so whatever. Whoa. This A-List singer who got her start doing children's television

made the person applying spray tan to the singer's body cry because our singer kept treating her like a dog rather than someone providing a service. Whoa. Yeah, she's a singer and everyone hates her and everyone knows she's bad. Everyone talks bad about her and knows that the other singer that I like is a lot better.

And also knows that she steals things. Okay, so she's in a rivalry with T. Swift and she was- Ariana Grande. Yeah, it's Ariana Grande. Of course. Treating the help like dogs. I forgot that we hated Ariana Grande. Of who needs Tanner all the time, which-

Yeah, exactly. I forgot. I forgot that she was controversial here because of her arianators. Yeah, she stole my brand. And so I will forever hunt her, but not in a stalker way in a, like, a murderer way. Rocky way. I was going to say murderer way because I don't know it's not like a threat. I'll just say like a Rambo style way.

Oh, okay. Like Rambo. Like Rambo, a little bit. She's dead to me. So whatever. She can go eat her little. Can't murder somebody who's already dead to you. True.

She can go eat her, like, lettuce sandwiches or whatever she does, right? She probably does one of those burgers with, like, the bun is lettuce. I will say a lot, du ma'uas does, there's a lot on Dumois of people talking about how Ariana Grande is not a very nice person. Really? I mean, I've definitely just jokingly throwing her under the bus, but, yeah. But that's fine. But I know that just real quick before we get to the next blind item, how about Pete Davidson

possibly dating Phoebe Bridgerton? Yes, I will call her her real name. I don't know what her real name is. Bridgerton woman. I always call her, I thought about you. Calling her Phoebe Bridgerton is especially helpful because I'm already always confused

between Phoebe Bridgers and Phoebe Waller Bridge. So adding another Phoebe. Actually, this makes less sense because her real name is Phoebe. That's why I was like, Phoebe does that right. This is Daphne Bridgerton. Her real name is Phoebe. I don't know how to say her last name.

Let's just say Ingott. We'll just make up a word. Ingot for her last. But they have been, she's been stepping out. with Pete Davidson, which is fine. They're both single and allowed to do that. But I am intrigued. She's 25.

He's 27. I also just got sad seeing like, damn, he's only 27. What have I done with my lie? Yeah, yeah, one of those moments. But either way, that's fine. I'm fine. Adele is younger than me.

Yeah, Adele's younger than me. That's great. I'm happy that I'm old. I'm happy that I'm old. That's my other song I've been writing. I'm happy that I'm old. Then I just start crying. All right.

this one is a fan blind and it's another back in the day. This is from Jess. What is it windy in here? This is from Jess and she thinks whatever. So here we go. I don't know why. I don't like it. I'm just, it's lunch time.

I need lunch. Okay, but before I get my lunch, I have to give you this. All this talk about the McAfrica. Yeah, all this time. I got me mixed starving to not eat McDonald's. I haven't had McDonald's in. years. I used to be addicted to it though. You used to eat it at least twice a week back in high school.

Okay. Back in the early 80s, my mom, this is from Jess. My mom lived in an apartment complex in Tallahassee, Florida. At the time, she was waitressing as a single mom raising my oldest brother. One day, five guys moved in upstairs from her unit, and over the course of a few weeks, passing by the stairs and having small parties, one of the men took a fancy to my mom. He ended up asking her out on a date, but my mom trusted no one at the day. And I'm trusted no one at the time, so she politely declined. It broke his heart, she said. After a month had passed by, my mom

and my brother moved out to a bigger place that had a working TV. One day while watching, she noticed someone familiar on the screen performing with his band. It was him. Till this day, she kicks herself and chuckles at what could have been, longing to say to him, hello.

Is it me you wrote that song about? Or the chance to party all night long? Once more. Lydell Richie! Lionel Richie, she could have had Lionel Richie, and she turned him down. Wow. Isn't that rough? Isn't that brutal?

I've never had that. I've never turned on the TV and seen someone that I rejected before. Wow, that's kind of fun, but also sad. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. I remember that I was obsessed with that music video, but in thinking about it now, it is a little weird and creepy. Have you ever seen the Hello music video?

No. Where he's like not stalking, but following a blind sculptor. And he's just like standing at a door just like, hello, as she's sitting there and like working. I think it was supposed to be like almost like a ghost type thing. And in the end, oh my God, even though she was blind, she made a sculpture of him. Wow. Very creepy. Very, all of it is creepy.

Every music video made in the 80s is just creepy in hindsight. And yeah, most 80s love songs, I think, aren't really like consent forward, you know. I know you're a dress and I know when you're home. Yeah, it's always just like completely problematic. It's like, I won't take no for an answer. Oh, isn't that sweet? Under your bed, I'm sleeping, under your bed. I'm sleeping.

Under your bed. Terrifying. I hated that one by Mr. Gonna Grab You. I remember that guy. I'm Mr. Gonna Grab you. Oh, my God. Well, there you go. I can see again.

I can sing and write songs again. Thank you so much everybody for joining us. Congratulations. On the blind items. Yes. Thank you guys. It was a wild and woolly one. We love you guys so much. Thank you for joining. Sorry I cried, but you know, we all feel

sometimes. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski. Follow me on Instagram at Jack Thatworm. And if you want to get into my slash Bella's head, we are halfway through Eclipse over on the page 7 Patreon. And you should join us because I will say today we released a great, amazing slash fiction that was written by one of our Patreon community that I recorded for her, and it's spicy. Let's just say maybe a werewolf imprints on Bella's pussy. Oh, right.

I'm out of eating. We're done. It's okay. We're out of here. Check me out, Twitch.combe, forward slash holdenators ho. Every Friday, Jackie and I get together and have a great time. It's 6 p.m. ET.

Once again, that's twitch.tv. Fort slash Holdenatorsho. And yet again, thank you for writing in. Page 7 podcast at Gima.com. Page the number seven podcast. to Gmail.com. Keep those blind items coming. Keep those conspiracy theories coming. And you may get on a show someday soon. Molly? My name is Molly and I am MJKL Kat on Instagram.

Yes. Have a beautiful week and we'll be here next week. Love you guys. Bye everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.