Page 7 - Ep. 396: I Stan!

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

We goss about Lil Nas X's new video, Chet Hanks & white boy summer, and in celeb conspiracy corner: is Rivers Cuomo actually Kurt Cobain!?!?!?Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

when you need. What? Call me in the morning. I'll be on the way. When you need, call me by your name. I'll be on the... I like it. I like the confidence he brought us into the episode with.

I love it. When I lob it to Holden, I say, Holden, yes, you sing the song up top. I tried to find it the... I really like the part when he's like breaks out, but I can't remember. Whatever. You know what I mean? You see the song. You know, in the middle of singing a song.

I, you know what? Call me what you want, y'all. That's all I got to say right now. I know, call you by your name. That was Holden dropping some beats for us from the Lil Nas X song that came out this week. And before you even listen to the rest of this, if you are able to, if you have not watched Montero yet, stop what you're doing and watch the Lil Nas X video. That, I mean, it's everywhere right now.

Oh, that's the part I wanted to sing. I want to sell what you're buying. I want to feel your ass in Hawaii. Yes. I want that jet lag for fucking and flying. Should have shot in your mouth while I'm riding. That's what I want to sing. I've watched the video, I think, 13 times since it dropped.

And it really has changed my entire week. Reminiscent. It's another like WAP situation too where, even though they're pretty different, I think, in a lot of ways, but, like, that it happened to us, too, on Jack and he's on the stream. So we both have this raw, legitimate reaction to the video, like, on that live stream, which is great. And then it got donated for, like, two more times after that. So, like, we got this cool crash course in it. And then watching everything go down since then has been so fun.

Because the other thing about Lil Nasax is that he's amazing at Twitter. Yeah. And he's such, and his rollout, is. is unbelievable. Masterful. He's just, oh my God, I'm so happy to be alive to witness Lil Nasak. Same. Yeah.

Same. It's like that just standing in absolute awe and admiration at someone for A, being, like, making fucking awesome songs, B, being hilarious and skillful. And also, like, I don't know if you guys, like, saw the note that he posted to himself, but I kind of want to read it because it's. so fucking awesome. Like what he is doing, it's so funny because all the panic is like,

oh, the children, think about the children. Oh, shut the fuck up. What he is doing for children, what he is doing for queer children is incredible. Like, yes. So if I may, can I read his note to himself? Please do.

Sure. So he wrote, he posted, so Montero is his name. So he wrote this note that says, Dear 14 year old Montero, I wrote a song with our name, minute. It's about a guy I met last summer. I know we promised never to come out publicly. I know we promise never to be that type of gay person. I know we promise to die with the secret, but this will

open doors for so many other queer people to simply exist. You see, this is very scary for me. People will be angry. They will say I'm pushing an agenda. But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the fuck out of other people's lives and stop dictating who they should be, sending you love from the future. I cried for so long when I first read it. It is so beautiful to be able to watch someone truly accept who they are on such an, on a grand public level, and to be able to open up the doors for so many people to have a conversation, to make it visible, and which is also a huge. And today is transvisibility.

Day. And that's what we're also going to be talking about that. Because my name is MJ and I am a trans person and I am so thankful to Lil Nas X for being 21 years old and brave enough to do this shit. I'm 35 and it took me like, you know, my entire life slash at least the last year to figure out how to talk about any of this in public. And like, so seeing Lil Nas X this week and. And also a special shout out to Chad Hanks and White Boy Summer. We're going to be talking about that later. Oh, my God. I can't. I can't with White Boy Summer. For giving me my own White Boy Summer to look forward to. You know what?

We finally get one, all right, y'all. Finally, the White Boys of the world get something. Come on. You guys are going to have a great time this summer, okay? Holman and I are going to be over having a White Boy Summer. So, yeah, I'm going by MJ now. I'm still using she pronouns. They pronouns are fine.

Honestly, pronouns are, I wish they didn't exist. I wish that there was just universal gender neutral pronouns. So my pronouns might change at some point. It might seem counterintuitive that I'm going to be saying all these things about being a white voice number, but also using she pronouns. But I'm just on my own journey. Yes, you're figuring things out. But thank you for bringing us on this journey with you.

This is something that we've talked about outside of the show. but I think that I'm so excited that you decided to bring this conversation to the show because I think it's really important. I think it's also for people to then listen to your journey through the show, which is huge. And I hope that, you know, please reach out if you feel comfortable, MJ. Yeah, of course. Reach out to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. If you have any words of encouragement, you've got an.

you know, if you need any advice, please, I think that this is a great conversation to be having. And again, to say that it comes in all, like, you can be whatever you are and you should celebrate whoever you are. And I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Yeah. And thank you to listeners who have. I have heard from other listeners who are, you know, who are non-binary and other listeners who are trans. and that is like so important and meaningful and makes it like make more sense that, you know,

for like why I want to talk about it publicly. Like it is, it has been weird to figure out. Like, you know, I was basically, as I've talked about before on the show, I was just a, the story I told myself for a long time was like I was just a really weird kid, but I was weird because I felt like a boy and I acted like a boy and dressed like a boy and wanted to be a boy. And like, that's a specific type of weird. And I was also.

weird besides that. I was about to say I was just weird because I was weird. Deeply weird. We all the puppets. You know, it's like, I was like obsessed with movies from the 1920s. Like, there was a lot going on. But like, but the visibility. We won't bring in the scar, but that's fine.

But like, right, the idea of visibility is like, is what's resonating with me this week because I just like realize, like, I feel so. It feels weird to be as old as I am, not like I'm, you know, half dead. But like I, to be this age and being like, figuring this out now, why didn't I figure this out sooner? Like, is it really real if I was, you know, fine being a girl for as long as I was? Am I just doing all this for attention? Like all of these, you know, imposter syndrome thoughts that I'm gathering for hearing from

other people are very common for trans people and non-binary people. And so, yeah. And I'm realizing I just like had never, I just did not know it was a thing to be trans. Like I just didn't know. It was the 90s. You know, there wasn't the internet the way there is now. I just did not know. And if I had known, if I had ever seen another trans person, I would have been like, that's exactly like me.

Right. And so I see the value in being visible and being, you know, talking about this in public. Because for me, it is singularly seeing other trans people that made me realize. that I could like, you know, embrace that part of myself. Yeah. But MJ, where are the shoes? Where are the signature MJ shoes? We need them out right now.

I don't know what they would be to signify. What would they be? Because, yes, we're about to talk about little Nazex's shoes. But first, what are the MJ shoes? It's a good, you know, he took the drop of blood thing, so I'm going to leave that to him. Yeah, you can have the drop of blood. You could have like a tiny thimble of piss or something. I don't know why, but.

Piss shoes. I think that the... I don't think Katie Perry's come up with that yet. Oh my God, remember she had those other stinky shoes. Yeah, she had stinky shoes. We don't want it to have... I mean, that would make it seem bad these shoes. These shoes need to be a celebration of some kind.

I do, I will borrow from Katie Perry in that I do want them to smell like fruit. Okay. I'll borrow from Chad Hanks in the sense that I love Vans. I'm glad it's going to be a Vans summer, so they're going to look like vans. They're going to smell like fruit. And I think that they're going to, instead of a drop of blood, they're going to have like a small vial of like you can choose from like three different types of hard alcohol when you order. It could be like tequila, vodka, or whiskey. That's great. I thought you were just going to say secretion.

It's like, guess the secretion is a secretion, but you have to guess what the secretion is. Oh, guess your own secretion shoes. Oh, God. How could you, I'm so sorry. My brain just went 30 different places of the amount of secretions I can do. I will say, the Nause devil shoes are so cool and so great. And I feel for Henry, of course, who was desperately trying to get his hands on a pair. He was?

Yeah, there's only 666 of them, though. They sold out so fast. They sold out so fast. I was trying to get the pop-ups, Kisle, Marcus, and Henry, to buy them for all of us. But they wouldn't. Also, it all sold out.

I mean, I'm sure Lexi would not love having Instagram devil shoes. If I were going into in-person schools and I were able to go into an in-person school wearing the Lil Nas X-Shu. shoes, I would be just so cool for just a few minutes. It would be so great. That would really be something.

I would be worried to wear them out of the house because I feel like someone would try to take them off my feet. And maybe that's because I grew up in Queens. But if there's one thing you learn growing up in Queens in the early 90s, don't wear nice shoes. They will take them off your feet. Take them right off the feet. And then what are you going to do?

You can't walk after that. You get pissed on your feet. There you go. You get pissed on your feet. That's why you just put them in the shoe. Yeah. Why you get to spend $1,000 for a pair of shoes with blood in them, you'll have blood all,

you'll have blood for shoes after you wear them. That's what my mother will say to me after the shoes had been taken off of my feet. That's what happens when you spend $1,000. So yes. So if you watch Montaro, in it, what is like the biggest issue, of course,

that everyone has, is that Lil Nasex has sex with the dad. He does. But then becomes the devil himself, but like in a new age way. I love it. People are like so upset about it. And I'm like, no, don't, the children are fine. He is a hero for children for being out and queer.

And then I describe it. I'm like, so he does give a big lab dance to Satan. But it's fine. It's totally fine. I think it's great. I think that it is, it is still so ridiculous to me that even in this, that it is the idea of what he is making, not fun of, but the allusions towards of like,

oh, okay, I guess I fuck the devil now. Exactly. I appreciate that. Exactly. Oh, I fall from heaven. He's like, I don't even understand why you all are mad. I'm like mocking the devil in this thing. You know what I mean?

The conservative, conservative anti-LGB people, I should say, like, who have spent the last however many decades telling queer kids, you will go to hell. And so what does Lil Nas X do? he goes to hell. Like, it's incredible. It's so powerful. Like, he takes it.

He said, oh, if I'm gay, I'm going to hell, then I'm going to give a... I'm going to hell my way. And then they're like so mad that he's doing the thing they said he would do. It's so stupid. But also, how hot is it? He's twerking on Satan. And I didn't notice, though, until looking at the article that Satan in it is wearing the Lil Nas X shoes. He is.

Oh, he is. Yes, he is. And I, oh my God, this video, who, yep, yep, yep, yep. It is in a very similar way to whap, though, that I was all aboard the Little Nazex Express. Take me down to hell with you. I know that, you know, we'll have so much fun. And we don't have to wear the shoes. We can just have fun and we can dance in the flames.

I want to dance in the flames. I do love that he's great on Twitter at Hitting Back at people that are going after him. For instance, a governor wrote towards him, our kids are being told that this kind of product is not only okay, it's exclusive. But do you know it's more exclusive? They're God-given eternal soul. We are in a fight for the soul of our nation. We need to fight hard and we need to fight hard.

and we need to fight smart. We have to win. And what did Lil Nas X reply? You're a whole governor and you're on here tweeting about some damn shoes. Do your job. And I do love that. I love do your job. Not even too disrespectful with, I just, it's so funny.

And as someone that, what I think, one of my favorite parts about Lil Nas X is that he is open with the fact that he has struggled with his, identity and what to do with it and how to be visible with it. And it's so important to talk about these things where it is not, I feel like some people look at Lil Nogs X, I'm like, oh, but it's easy for him. It's not. Right. It's not an easy. Self-discovery, no matter of what kind, is not easy. It is difficult. It is the easy choice to remain unhappy and not try to figure it out. And sometimes that's your only choice. I apologize.

It's not just an easy choice. Sometimes that's your only choice. But for someone like Lil Nas X, and if I was younger, I would also, I mean, I do at this age. I look to him as an inspiration for the future generations of, thank Christ. Exactly. Because it started with our generation. It really did. I mean, I guess it started more with like the Madonna and stuff like that.

But like, it has been so slow going when it comes to visibility. in pop culture. And it boggles my brain. It really, like, we're doing all this research for Keshe right now, and I know that this is not the place to talk about it. That's for pop history. And it will be out in a week and a half. But it's interesting that it wasn't that long ago

that people were told you can't say things like that. No, just sing a party song. It's easier. Just sing a party song. If you're going to be a pop star, just sing a party song. And the response to Lil Nas X, too, is so, like, it really, I feel like for me, it's easy for me to be like,

oh my God, like kids are all so queer now. It's so awesome. It's so much better for them. It's so much easier for them. Like, and actually, we're in a total 90s retro culture war satanic panic bullshit right now because.

Yes. At the same time. Same with like, yeah, like when I look at little trans kids, like this has been like a huge part of like, of like, you know, I started realizing like when I look at at little kids who are trans, I feel like...

Especially like little trans kid ex. That one is having a rough rough go of it. That's for when I become a rapper. Like, when I look at little trans kids and I'm like, oh my God, like that was exactly me. Like I feel such like identification. And then like there is this part of me

that feels so jealous because I'm like, oh my God, you're out. Like you can just be like you imagine being nine and feeling this way and like just being able to tell your friends and have everybody respect that. Like it makes me feel. like so jealous because again I just didn't I just didn't know it was a thing and so there's this weird feeling of jealousy for like queer youth right now because it's so much different than it was like in the 90s

and of course earlier than that but then at the same time what's happening with trans youth right now right there's like bills in like fucking 20 or 30 states and Alabama that just cut the the funding for trans for health care for health care yeah for for for And mind you, for little kids, nobody's having surgery when they're little kids. Gender affirming health care for little kids is therapy. It might be puberty suppressors so that they can make decisions about what to do with their, you know, bodies and hormones and whatever as they get when they are a little bit older. It just buys them time. Like it is, but it is literally just like there is legislative attacks on trans kids just for existing everywhere.

So, and look, Lil Nas X makes this song. And you would think that it is, you know, 1991. up in here with everybody being like, he's a gay man with the devil. You know, it's so, it's so retro. And so it's just a good reminder that it's like, I feel like sometimes it's like, oh, well, gay marriage is legal now. Everything's all good. Like, it's all good.

It's so much better now. But it's like that reaction is still there. It's still there. And it's also still a fight. Right. And it's still a struggle. And in, it's 20, 21. Why?

I loved his joke pair of chick fillet. shoes that he put up. He's like, see, I made it better now. Also, somebody else posted a Photoshop of him giving the lap dance to Jesus. It's like, see, are you happy now? Everyone's getting the lap dance. That was so funny. Yeah, the quote, I can't even read it. I'll get too emotional. But yeah, there's that I love that whole comment too he makes about like, he's like, he's like, good, stay mad, you know? This is the anger you taught me to have with myself. Yeah. All my, my fucking teen years is a kid. You know what I mean? It's like, fine, go. And then, and people getting mad about the, like,

giant picture of the shoes at an evangelical church. And it's just so funny. When there's a pandemic, and he's just like, there's a pandemic going on. There's like all this shit going on. And y'all are talking about a pair of shoes right now. Yes.

It's so funny. Yeah. And they're already sold. It's already done. You can change it, although Nike certainly wants to change it. But this is, I think, one of the funniest parts, is that Nike didn't make the shoe.

So Nike is, but they, are air maxes that were turned into Lil Nas X's 666 shoes. Yes. So Nike is now getting all of this insane hate, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn't even make the shoes. He made the shoes himself. So now Nike is suing Lil Nas X because he made the shoes. Yeah, unfortunately, I think that's a bit of a misstep, especially keeping the swoosh on there.

Definitely remove the swoosh. Remove the swoosh color over it. Yeah, at the very least you still probably get sued, but at least get rid of the Nike swoosh if it's not a Nike product. Yeah, I was about to go, I was about to go into a real worm time of like sneaker, like, like legality. Yeah, like what do they call it, like public domain,

like intellectual property, like, because there's obviously like a dialogue between artists and sneaker manufacturers that I think is like, like, it's like a, it's a living collage. I don't know, people take existing shoes and then make them their own. But also, I don't really know anything about the sneaker world. Like, I have friends who are sneaker people and I, like, love it, but I know absolutely jack shit. And so I was, like, reading about this and I was like, oh, my God, I could spend the next 10 hours reading about this. Yeah, just trying to be.

Because I see that a lot. I see, like, little hips shops in, like, the East Village or something like that where they just straight up take other products and repurpose them as art. I mean, I wonder if there are clauses in there for that. I mean, at the end of the day, you're selling these shoes for a fucking like thousand bucks of pop. Why not make your own... Why not just create a... I don't know, maybe it's just difficult to make a shoe, right? It's probably hard to make a shoe.

I'm gonna guess. I've never cobbled before. Cobbling's not really fighting. Wait, Alden, you've never cobbled before? I thought... I thought it was singer-cobbler songwriter Holden McEleelie. There was a part in my life where I got really into method acting and I decided, you know, if I want to be good that I should become a shoe cobbler in Ireland or wherever you know and you know when I'm not method acting I'm not making people call me you know a teenage mutant ninja turtle or call me like

Abraham Lincoln or whatever right then then I'm off cobbling my shoes but I just couldn't even I couldn't even put a soul on a on a toe flap if you paid me I just couldn't make heads or heads or feet of it you know what I mean so either way so I figured I'd stick with my singer songwriting instead and with that you just have to get drunk you know, religiously on whiskey, so I'm fine. Well, I didn't realize this as well. So this, the company that made the shoes with his, I imagine it's pronounced mischief.

It's M-S-C-H-F. And that is a company that's actually being sued. Previously also made Jesus shoes. Yes. That had the Christ on the cross as a pendant, attached to the front of the shoe. and I don't know if it's on the bottom of it, but it says,

and in the fourth watch of the night, he came to them walking on the sea from Matthew. Yes, it says walk on water, and that's why it has a blue soul. Stripe on the bottom. I think there's water in there. I bet there's like spring water in there. There is water from the river Jordan.

What? It is blessed. Yes, so you're walking on the water. That's cool. You're walking on the water. You're walking on the water. The thing is, look at both of these. This is fucking art.

art work. I think that it's awesome. I think it's cool. Also has the Nike swoosh by the I think it's the same model of shoe actually. It is. It's the Air Max 97s and you probably really can't. Just slap a cross on it. But at the same time, they keep doing it. All of the Jesus shoes are sold out. All the Satan shoes are sold out. At what point there must be ways around it that I imagine that they will figure out in their courts. But this is fun. This is art. And it's all.

also technically commentary. And if you think about it, you can show clips of movies as long as you, or sing songs, as long as you are either making a commentary or it is some sort of, not illusion, but what's a parody, if it's a parody version of it. Also, okay, so they just make weird, they don't just specialize in shoes, they make weird viral products for the internet. So I see a rubber chicken, uh, weed pipe. Oh, I need it.

Toaster bath bomb. They've got something called an astrology-based stock trading app. It's another one there. What do we own need? This is like self-aware goop. I love self-aware goop. So I love all of this. I love absolutely everything to do with it.

I love, and I didn't even get into like the costumes and everything that he wears in the music video. I love his style. It's all him too. Like it's like just him pretty much. Who plays the devil? Who's that guy just? I don't know, but I'd like to know. Yeah.

I've watched the music video too many times. It's great that it's a really good song too. Like I feel like when you make like an irresistibly good song and it makes people really upset because it's about, you know, grinding on Satan. But then like I saw a very good TikTok that's like a person typing like, this is absolutely unacceptable and I will never support Lil Nasax. And then she like walks away and then you can see her in her mirror like totally like banging down to it. It's a great song.

It's just like an absolutely irresistible song. I hope it's absolutely everywhere for White Boy Summer. Oh yeah. Oh, white boy. So please, please. Can I talk about. I'm sorry. Get out of here.

It is your summer as well. But for right now we need to talk about White Boy Summer. Because that our Lord Chet Hank. I don't know. I have so many feelings about Chet Hanks. First of all, I feel personally insulted, and I get it. The world's after me. Ariada Grades steals my stuff.

You know, I'm pretty sure there's people on very high network positions that are kind of stealing some of my ideas for TV programming. You know what I mean? Is this about Sad Boy Christmas, Holden? Yeah, I think that someone did do a season called Sad Boy Christmas. Didn't even make it about the color of my skin. I just wanted to be sad. and end up boy during Christmas.

And I feel like he saw that and it was like, oh, Holden's doing Sad Boy Christmas. I think I'm going to steal his brand. Just like I see my girl, my main squeeze Ariana. I don't know if he talks to Ariana Drive. He probably doesn't have had. No way. He might have sent her a text or something.

There must be some sort of appropriation club that they all hang out at. And they all go to, right? Oh, are you going to braid your hair today? Oh, great, great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, totally.

Oh, God. They're the worst in February. They're the worst in February. Ali is there just swinging around on a wrecking ball. Oh, just terrible. And yeah, so yes, thieved again, I guess. I guess it was stolen again for me.

So White Boy Summer, Chet Hanks. Also, you're not familiar if you don't remember, Chet Hanks is, yes, the son of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Yes, he speaks a lot of times on social media with a patois. Yes, he is white as the day is long. And yes, we were talking about him before anybody was talking about. A year ago, we were talking about him because he keeps posting these patois videos. It makes no sense. And it is so funny and so wrong at the same time. And so bad. And he just keeps, like, I don't know how he

keeps, why isn't Tom Hanks in some point just being like, stop? You have to stop doing this. My favorite thing about Chad Hanks is thinking about Tom Hanks's reaction to every video he posts. Like, because Tom Hanks famously, not only famously like a masterful actor that's just like the, like when you look up like respect in the dictionary, it's like everybody just loves, admires and respects. Tom Hanks, he's just like a good guy. He's the only guy who could get cast as Fred Rogers. He's like, he is just so pure and so sweet. And then he's just got this absolute dofing. for a son that is also,

that he also has his own little mini Tom Hanks son. My absolute favorite tweet about this is Tom Hanks makes acting look easy and parenting look impossible. That is, I think, what it is. Because he definitely has the good one. He's got the good one that it takes after him, looks just like him, I'm sure,

is a very respectable person. He's got other kids too, but then it's just, it is the yin and yang. And then there's Chet Hanks, who is just talk about, I can't even call him the black sheep of the family because I think that he would go too far with it. That he goes her bang.

And he'd be like, see everybody said. I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I meant. Right. And it's worth saying at the top that there is, whilst this, while I am really enjoying having a very good laugh at Ted Hanks, there's also things about him that are not funny. No. He said that using the edward unites people across cultures.

Right, right. I think, yeah, I think that's the idea of like, I can sing it. in a rap song, right, like that I'm singing along to. I think that's the old, age-old, white person argument for ever using the N-word. I think that was kind of more what he was applying it to, which doesn't defend it on any level. But yeah, right, right. He wasn't just talking about saying it would, like, right.

That's the dumb take. His thing is that he's like a white boy who talks this way. And it's like, why? But at the same time, all of his rules for white boy summer are very good. Very funny. And he, I will say, I find him being actually, I think he's, I think in some videos, he's trying to actually be funny. And I think he's being funny and it's charming and working. But of course, not always.

And I think sometimes then he does the pat-twat and you're like, wait, I was with you for a second chat. Almost had me chat. I will say, though, quick sidebar, I do think this at least, I want every black sheep in every family to see this situation and just know that it's inevitable. It's not just you. Every family, even the world's most beloved dad is going to have a black sheep kid. I'll send this to our older sister

and be like, see, you know, you have two Chethanks in your family. When it comes to black sheep, don't worry, we're not saying the N-word or anything. God, this is a problem with him. Is that he's like, he's like a car crash. I can't look away. I'm so bold over by his existence and the fact that, again, that not even like the people that own Tom Hanks,

that they are not like, shut him up or we will shut him up. Right. That's the thing. Tom Hanks must have the power to be like, you need to shut the fuck up. He will be shut up. And I kind of respect, I mean, again, a lot of things not endorsing about Chen Hanks. I kind of love Tom Hanks. for being like, that's also my son.

I also kind of do, too. Like, I, again, not pro-Chad Hanks. I'm not. But I guess I do feel that Tom Hanks, and you can even see, because Rita Wilson will comment sometimes, I think that they're just like, yeah, that's him. And, uh, I love your kid. I don't love your kid, no matter who they are.

That is who he is. And he is not good, but, He is. Look, he also introduced, I'm on his merch store right now to confirm it to a yes, and immediately a merch store popped up on the internet

with white boy summer. T-shirts, tank tops. You've got the shorts. You've got hats. He did also include a black queen summer. Yes, he's really into black queens. In a way that. So he loves the black queens.

Yeah, that's, I can't figure out whether that's, I can't figure out whether that's, like, respectful or like, I hope. You know what? I just don't know. I want to hear the phone conversation between Megan the Stallion and Chet Hanks and him being like, okay, you yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hot Girl Summer, we get it. However, I'm in love with you, so why don't we collab and can you imagine how quickly she's like. I forgot it was Megan the Stallion created that when Megan the Stallion was not even like. Megan the Stallion, yeah. I feel like she's become that. That's bringing me back. Like, when did we talk? What was, was that last year?

That was summer. It was two years ago. Yeah, it was when things were last half the world was open. Summer that Zelda was born, yeah, because I remember. Yeah, there you go. Being pregnant all through Hot Girl Summer,

I couldn't participate. That feels like forever ago. Well, now you got White Boy Summer. Yeah, not finally. I finally get my own summer. Tag of Vanilla King, you know. Tag of Vanilla King. What hoodie?

What, hoodie, I'll tell you what. You can rock White Boy Summer Collection. It's your time for that, MJ. You know, and this is the world that I think Chet Hanks wants. I think he wants us. I think he is envisioning like a, it's so funny because I feel like the, obviously, white pride is bad. No one should be like white boys.

Yeah. Like that's, no, no one should. But it's so confusing because in his initial video, he's like, no, I'm not talking about like a Trump thing. I'm talking. And then he names two. white rappers. And so, like, but so he's like, he seems to be like actively not, you know, like a white

supremacist, which is great. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, none of that. Yeah. In fact, anti-f fraternity as well. There's fraternity blog is very upset with him as well. He's talking about the white boys that, weirdly enough, like, why he keeps saying tag a real vanilla king that it's like about, and I, this is, I, believe me, I had to read it a couple

times to make sure because I would not be talking about it if I thought it was just like Trump supporters do it in that casual. It's like, no, no, no, no. No, that's not funny. He's weirdly enough trying to differentiate between the two and say like, no, we should essentially raise up the good vanilla kings that are out there that are out there that aren't the frat guys, that aren't the racist ones, that aren't the like. And so really, weirdly enough.

This is for you both. And this is not for me at all. And the rules that he has laid out, like number one, no plaid patterned shirts. He says, quote, can't be looking like a picnic table out here, boys. Leave them shits at home. The vineyard vines. Just put on a black tea or a white tea. Keep it simple.

That's his first rule. I like that. I'm into that. Keep it simple. Keep it nice. I've got a purple collared shirt I plan to wear that I feel like will fit in. I think he'd appreciate. I, well, I hope that you, neither one of you,

which I don't think you do have any spary top siders. Because that is also in the list of banned items. Sparry top siders is such a funny name. That was such a funny name he pulled out of his. That's like a specific. Sparee is a type of shoe. You know, by the way, he's kind of coming after his brother with all this. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes. As someone, I don't know if y'all, but like from Florida, when you're wearing sparries, that fucking means something. If you were wearing sparries, they are like, oh, you got a boat, oh, you've got the money for sparries. It's boat shoes. It is very much like, they are bro shoes that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing, cut to when I got to college and bought them because technically they are very comfortable. And they are very, they're not, they don't skid. I like the way they look. I've always kind of wanted a pair.

I feel a little bit called out by Chet Hanks. You called out because he says, this is not. Sounds like your team calling. He says, that is not the kind of white boys we're talking about. Get yourself some vans, some Jordans. I'm not really a sneaker head, but, you know, feel it out. So that's the second rule. No sparries.

How many sparries do you think Colin owns? I'm going to go over under. I'm going to say 50 pairs. Yeah. At least. You know, Holden, I hadn't thought about it that it is totally. totally a attack on his brother, but it totally is. It totally is.

And I don't want to necessarily encourage Chet Hanks. I don't really want to give him any money, but it would be interesting to see like a Red Table Talks version, but with the Hanks family, because I would love to see the interaction of the two of them with Chet Hanks, with Colin Hanks, with Chet Hanks. I just kind of want to see it. I kind of want to see what Thanksgiving is.

like at the house, you know? For sure. Yeah, that's the thing. I just want to know what Tom and Rita feel. Like, I just want to know every time they see that he's trending. I want to see their faces and they're like, are they like, is it kind of like a happy resign? Like, he's our weird one. Or are they like, oh, my God, you know.

Or is it like embarrassing? Why, we know that Rita Wilson likes to like, she wrapped that song. Yes. I forget what it was, but she did. She did like a full on, like clearly she was a big hip-hop influence on old chat growing. It didn't just come. It wasn't like totally rebellious. I mean, it runs in the family a little bit.

No, and she does support him weirdly enough. Now, I will say you can't. Weirdly enough, she's his mother. If this was my son, I'd have a difficult time. I would have a difficult time being like, you be you. I guess. I'm, I guess, stop doing the patois thing, please. I'd be like, you don't do it in every other way.

You're a white man. And so he has prohibited, which I think is fine, because I don't think you guys, either one of you do this is by calling women smoke shows. That was hilarious. This is the problem. I think I have referred to women as smoke shows on this podcast. She is a smoke show. Yeah, right.

I've totally said that before. Yeah, I think it's fine. I'm now discluded. I'm now apparently. team Colin, which makes sense because I'm not into culturally appropriating things. Ariana, okay? I don't like to do that, bro. I'm, I'm

me. I am who I am Ariana. Yeah, I'm with you, Holden. I think that Smoke Show is fine. All right? I like Smokey Show. But how do you feel about anything salmon colored in your wardrobe? Because Chat Hank says to burn it, burn that shit, don't ever wear it

again. I think that it had its time. I feel like there was like a vampire weekend time. you know, where it was like... Yes. Totally Vampire Weekend time. You know, Sparry Top Siders. And they were all decked out in Sparries.

Oh, he hates Vampire Weekend. I can imagine, I want to play Vampire Weekend for him and just be like, just react. Just speak into this microphone. Just react to this music. Chet. I would love it. I would love to hear it. Yeah, everything he describes is like the aesthetic of Vampire Weekend.

And again, I like that aesthetic. But I do think in terms of the salmon colored things, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I know that I've had crushes on boys who wore salmon-colored things. I also think it's time to move on. It's time to move on. And, you know, he does say at the end, bottom line is, it's time for us to evolve, okay? Period. It's time for us to grow from a Pikachu to Rai-chu.

You dig, church. And that is how he ended it. I really, I like church at the end of it. I think that he, I would, you know what? It really is straight up times like this. I'm so mad that fucking Barnett is dead because I would love to hear what Kevin would have to say about this.

When I read that line, I immediately looked up with the picture of him I have in my office and I was like, you fucker. I want to hear you go off about this so bad. So I guess gear up, y'all. Get rid of plaid. Get your gear on.

You're really, what I like that was that he's keeping it. He's keeping it cheap. You're spending about 20, 40 bucks on this ensemble. I mean, we're not going too. Vans are probably more expensive. Vans are only like 40 or 50, though. In the scheme of sneakers, you know, Jordans are a much bigger bar to cross.

Vans are still, you know, the people's shoe, in my opinion. Yeah, for sure. And you know what, I'm all for keeping the dad hats out. I think that, you know, I love that he says you got to have that fade. You've got to have a good fade going. And if you want to rock the dad hat, it can only be backwards. Does dad hat mean? I totally get that.

Dad hat means trucker hat? I think it's just a normal. Any baseball hat with a bill. It's a hat with a bill that's like unassuming that like a dad would wear out to the game. You know what I mean? Watch his kid play volleyball or softball or whatever. You know what I mean? He's talking about rappers.

It's just, it is, I immediately looked up the merch and it's being ripped apart because people on Twitter are saying that the merch looks aggressively racist. Now, how do you feel about that, Holden? Is it the font? It's the font. It's the font. It does look, it does. And it's interesting because he is trying to be like,

I'm not a Trump person, but it looks like white. It looks like proud, like, yeah, it's bad. The merch needs to be re-resigned. The merch needs to be re-resigned. Like, this is the thing. It's so close to, I think, actually being kind of funny. But then there's things like that where you're just like, oh, honestly, even just, well, this is about his son's addiction.

Tom Hanks told people, as a parent, you love your kids unconditionally and would not say anything else to the matter. Oh. And I, you know. I guess that's, that's sweet, right? Yeah. That is sweet. Yeah. And also he has, like, but it is interesting to think because so they've got four kids.

Colin and Elizabeth were born first. Chet and Truman were born after Tom Hanks had made it big. They are the younger ones. So he does really feel that Colin and Elizabeth grew up in a whole different life than Chet and Truman grew up, and not that that excuses him for appropriating black culture, but I do think that it is interesting

that he talks about how different the four children are, and he does think that that has a lot to do with it, that, like, when Colin and Elizabeth were younger, like, they couldn't pay for, like, the rent, you know, and things like that. So through the kids' lives, like, they grew up. So I imagine these are barbs of Colin, but also, Colin has to work hard.

It's the names. You name your kid Colin. They're going to be like this Mr. Dudley do right. If you name your kid Chet, Chet's going to be fucking, you know, doing lines, you know, on break at the fucking, I don't know where he's working. That's true. That's true. You're right.

You can't name your kid Chet without expecting him to turn out exactly like chest. He's going to have a chest tattoo. Let's just leave it at that, right? I mean, he's got lots of chest tattoos. I'm not saying it's bad to have a lot of chest tattoos. but I'm just saying he's going to get he's going to do it Oh my god this is this is like Nazi font Chad who designed it?

Who made it? Like why did you do this? It looks like something you would see in fucking American history X. It's a little clanny. Yes, it does look like a mystery X. That's the thing. You hear like oh it looks racist and you're like

is that people reading it too much and then you see it and then I look at it. You look at it and you're like oh no no no that's wrong. That is a little wrong. Planishness. Especially because the phrase is white boy. If you're going to, if you are going to coin a thing that has anything to do with. Make it comic sands.

Just go to save for it. It's the only way to go. If you got any kind of white pride in there, but you're trying to be like, no, not that kind of white pride. Like an ironic white pride. Do comic sense. It's like if you're like an Aryan nation present, that's the font you get on the back tattoo at the prison. That's exactly right. For sure.

Loved it. In fact, I know that we need to move on, but we haven't even been able to talk about the world's sexiest bald man. I can understand. I thought he was actively unattractive, Prince William. What are we talking about right now? That makes no sense. And this, by the way, and I'm going to explain this in a second or one of us will, but this is why, this is a perfect example of misinformation on the internet. or how things can just, it goes into the internet and it comes out completely ass backwards

because they use like a Google algorithm to decide that Prince William is the world's sexiest bald man? What? It is very funny to me. And that is straight up what they did. They looked up and they said that the Duke of Cambridge had been described as sexy 17.6 million times in blogs, reports, and pages found via Google search. which also in this day and age y'all we know what that means like what are you fucking talking about you imagine looking in my like old diary land or my zanga and like just me writing like prince harry sexy sexy sexy sexy gimme give me give like you're just looking up who wrote the word sexy in conjunction with his name

it's completely insane there's so many way more i've just never even he's uh not attractive And let's just start there. Let's start right there. Well, he has kind eyes. But he, look at the pictures of, okay. Him before he was bold. Do you want a fuck kind eyes, Jackie? Sometimes.

I have. I have. I have fucked kind eyes. Okay. Slatter a load all over your back. Yes. I've lapped at the seat of a kind eye before, okay? Oh my God.

I don't even know what to do in this situation. I've supped at its secretions. But I love, my favorite is the responses from other actual sexy. So I think that Prince William used to be hot. He definitely used to be hot. And I'm very into bald juice. Oh, you mean back when he had hair?

Back when he had here. But here's the day. See, but here's the difference. I'm into bald. I'm into bald people. But it's him holding on to the size of it. Yes. That's when it's like, you just got to get rid of it.

You have to get rid of it. It's not the baldness that made him unattractive. His loss of hair coincided with him, like, having this face transformation where he just looked much more like a member of the monarchy. And he also became, like, a dad of many very fast. I'm sure he's exhausted. Yeah. He doesn't have a whole lot of time to himself, I can't imagine. But I do love that bringing in, like, great dad energy of the cinnamon toast crunch scandal of last week of the person that then got kids.

canceled, which I still don't understand why you want to become viral if you are not a good person, but we're not going to get into that. I will say, I think that they never intended that to go viral. To go viral. And so... This is what always happens. Someone going viral now is actually the worst thing that can happen to you is what I'm realizing. Yes. All they'll do is somebody will dig up the one bad tweet you wrote or whatever it is. In this guy's case, a lot of bad shit. He was toxic work environment and apparently toxic ex-boyfriend for some unlucky ladies. So yeah, that was all. He was a lot of work environment and apparently toxic ex-boyfriend for some unlucky ladies. So yeah. That was all. a whole lot of stuff came out. But that's what's going to happen. Like, I don't want to go viral. I don't want to have a dumb thing like this go viral. What does he get out of it?

I doubt much monetarily going viral. And then just all of a sudden you're in the spotlight. And then you're just like, he did something terrible 10 years ago. And now everybody has got to know about it. But what I love is that what did the Rock have to say about Prince William being given world? He tweeted out, how in the cinnamon toast? Fuck does this happen? when Larry David clearly has a pulse.

Hashtag demanding recount. And I think that Dwayne the Rock Johnson is one of my favorite people. I really, I love him. I stand him as the children say. Do they still say it or is it gone? I don't think they say it. Well, yeah. I'll leave it to hold it.

Is it? Is it? I'll leave it to hold on. Still say what? Still say what? Well, Jackie has to for. some reason Jackie has to say, stan. Stahn. I stand it.

It makes me feel like Catherine O'Hara and Schitt's Creek. Stahn. Yeah, yeah. I stand it. Yeah, people still say ston. I think it's because I feel as if I am too old to say it, so I have to make a JK about it or else then I'm just slinking it. But you have a, you know a Stan.

I stand T. Swift, so you know a moderate, you know a 38-year-old Stan. And further and more, people have no choice but to stand you, Jackie. People stand you. At our live show in New York, somebody screamed, we have no choice but to stand. About me? Yeah, yeah. You're a thing.

You are stand. You've been standing. I stand you too. I stand MJ. I stand Holden. I stand. And you're listening. I stand.

That means you don't know what it means. I stand. We're friends. You can't stand. I stand you. I don't think you can stand your friend. I don't think you can stand your friend. You can't. I think that you stand.

We're so old. I think that you stand. Oh, no. This is a simple. You can't stand a friend. Why? I don't think that that's, in the way that you could be a fan of a friend. Like, I'm a fan of Holden's love for T. Swift.

I stand Holden's love for T. Swift. See, that's nice. I don't know if that's right, though. I might be wrong. I don't know. No, it's so wrong. Don't second guess yourself. This is your day, MJ.

You can't. Confidence means a very, very overzealous and obsessed fan of a celebrity band, cast of a TV show or movie. And I hate the example of Urban Dictionary, but I'll read it out loud. You fucking suck. I just love Ariana Grande. Oh my God. I would die for her.

I would track her every move if I could. I'm not tracking your every move, Jackie. I'm not tracking your every move. You do know what I do. You know my work schedule. You know what I work on every day. You do stand me. But it's like because we're working together.

Yeah. You cannot stand a friend. I think Holden is right in the sense that Stan involves a kind of hierarchy. Like I, you have to look up. Like, there's a distance there. Like, I stand Robert Panz. Yeah, it's someone you cannot touch. It's someone that you would pay thousands of dollars just to touch for a photo op, right?

Like, I mean, it's something. I would touch the rock for a photo op. I think you stand the rock. You do. I do stand the rock. Well, you stand, what did you have posters of all over your wall? You don't stand the rock. Legalus, there you go.

At one point you stand. Legales. I stand hot dogs. Yes, you do stand hot dogs. I'll actually give you out. I don't think that's correct. Is that too far? Did I take it too far again?

It was like one hot dog that was particularly good at making pop songs and dancing. Then you would stand the hot dog. Have you looked at pictures of the rock with his daughters? No. Oh, my God. I can't. Fine. I'll never be as good of a father as you.

I do send, I have, I will say, I have sent pictures of the Rock with his daughters to Holden and Lexi saying, is this the kind of daughter, Daddy, Holden's going to be? And then Lexi and I laughed and laughed because he'll never look like the Rock. But I'm sure that you will love your daughter. I'm running, I'm just now starting to be able to run, almost do a full three miles without stopping. I am very proud.

Congratulations. That is very good. That's great. That's very good. I'm listening to Kesha. And it's motivating me to be a better person. Are you looking at the pictures of the rock with his daughters right now? Yeah.

I did see the one of him doing skin to skin with the baby. I had seen it and it's so good. But yeah, also his daughters are so cute. They're beautiful. And it's a beautiful family. And he loves his family. One of these days we're going to find out that he like eats babies. I don't think that we will.

Yeah. He'll go viral on a tweet about finding like shoes inside a bowl of soup. Although I will say I only watched the first episode of the Q doc. So maybe that comes out in episode three of the QD doc. Oh, I need to watch it. I need to watch it. I think The Rock is one of the rare exceptions of celebrities who has not been, as they say, milkshake ducked, meaning you find out, you fall in love with them,

everybody loves them, and then you find out they're racist. I don't think that's going to be sure he's not. I think I had to do this two times kind of back to back, but now I ask you, what is the, how does that mean that? What is, why, why does that mean that? Milkshake duck. This I can do. So there was a, there was a series of tweets that, like, joke tweets, like, years ago that

was like, look, this duck drinks a milkshake. We love the milkshake duck. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And everyone's like, milkshake duck, milkshake duck. And then there's, the next tweet is like, we regret to inform me that the milkshake duck is racist. So it's just like, it's just a, it's, it. encompasses this phenomenon, which is that everybody falls in love with something,

and then immediately you're like, oh, my God, they're a racist. Well, I think you might fall in love with this conspiracy theory. Hit me with the share! Oh, do you believe it? That Rivers Cuomo is actually Kirk Cobain. Okay, stick with me. Yes, please. Stay with me on this one.

This conspiracy email came in from Thomas with the subject line, conspiracy theory exclamation point, hold it I'm drunk. And there wasn't a lot in the body, but there was a link to a Medium article. Medium is just, by the way, when you just write something and you put it up and it makes it look like you were hired to write an article, but it's just anyone can write an article and put it up on Medium. And according to this article on Medium.com, Kurt Cobain died in 1994, and this is straight from the thing. quote. However, the investigation had many discrepancies and suspicious circumstances during Cobain's last days alive. This led fans to believe the story the press was reporting was all part of a staged death and elaborately planned crime scene. There's a group of people out there who believe that Cobain is still alive and hiding under the identity of Rivers Cuomo.

Front man for the famous band, Molly. What's that band called? Nirvana. No, no, Rembers Cuomo's band. Weezer. There you go. Here's the evidence. Are you looking at pictures

of the Rock and his daughter's still? I love it. I love to that. You answered that. Like I called on you in a classroom. I know. I got caught. As if I was like calling you out for not paying attention

when I really just thought you were just going to immediately be like Weezer because you got excited earlier when I said the name Rivers Quomo, which is also questionable. Because he, I forgot what he looked like. Yeah. All right.

So now I'm paying attention. Into it? Are you into it? I think I might be. Here's the evidence. And look at a side-by-side, Jackie. It's very convincing. Oh, yeah, no, no, I'm not looking at pictures of the rock and his daughters. Both Cobain and Cuomo have reservations about fame.

Their guitar sound is similar. I don't know about that. They're almost the same age, and they kind of resemble each other. Here are a few facts to consider. One, Weezer formed in 1992 when Nirvana was falling apart. 2. Nirvana and Weezer tour date slash shows never crossed over or conflicted with each other. Three, Weezer's debut album was produced by Rick Okasek, lead singer of the cars, who was a known friend to Cobain. Four.

Cuomo keeps a formula book of all of Cobain's songs, deconstructs them, and has a documented obsession with Nirvana. Weezer plays entire gigs of more obscure Nirvana covers under the name Goat Punishment. Not sure if that's true, but I'll go with it. Five, to this day there's no photographic evidence confirming that Cobain is dead or, more importantly, that he died the way police reports claim. The article finishes up by saying, I could get all crazy and break the conspiracy theory down even more, but the above are the top five facts I want you to think about. Do you think this theory is true and we never lost Cobain? Could the musical mastermind have faked his death and created yet another untouchable famous group? And I will say, I always thought, well, if Kirk Cobain was alive today,

he'd be making some hacky-ass music, you know, in his middle-aged years. And, hey, that checks out with Rivers Cuomo. What do you all think? I got to say... Hollywood! I am looking at these pictures of side-by-sides, and I don't think they look anything alive. I'm sorry, and I hate to say this, but Kurt Cobain is a lot hotter than Rivers-Quam.

Yeah, that's the thing. Rivers Quo-O-O... It really is. Just, I don't know. Rivers Cuomo's a bit of a monay, you know. I think that he's hot from a distance, but when you get close, it's a big old mess. And I'm not saying, of course, give me a whack a weezer. And I'm not talking about Steele Magdalias.

Like, if I will definitely, you know, have a great night with Rivers Cuomo. But Kurt Cobain is just, he's just so hot. Yeah, yeah. He was considerably hotter and a different. And also their faces just really don't resemble. They really don't. But I do think it's... Here's a different side-by-side.

How about this? Kirk Cobain's actually M&M. I'm switching on you. Oh, wow. We got a double. Yeah, look at those side-by-sides. Those are pretty convincing. I do think it's fun, though,

that Rivers Cuomo dressed up as Kurt Cobain for Halloween and does look very convincing in his Halloween costume that I looked up, and that's great. I would love it if Kurt Cobain was Eminem. Unfortunately, that's not true. Can you imagine Courtney Love and Eminem in a relationship? Ooh, maybe. I can't.

I would, oh man, I would love to see how much she would hate him, though. Could you imagine Lil Nas X and Chet Hanks in a relationship? Yes. I mean, I'd watch it. I definitely would watch it. I actually feel like Chet's really, I actually feel like that would, that would, if it worked for Lil Nas X, I think it would work for Chad Hanks,

because I think that Chad Hanks is just like down for whatever, you know? Yeah, yeah. I think Chad Hanks is definitely down whenever. I don't think that Lil Nas X would stoop that low. I think that, yeah. But I do think that if he did it more in a way of like, you want, you want to learn, you know, I'll teach you something.

Yeah. Again, I'll watch it. My lord. Well, there you go. Really hitting the bottom of the barrel here with the Liggins I don't think that you are. I think that it's great. Keep them coming, Thomas.

Keep them coming to everybody out there because honestly it is the emails for these. These are amazing. I never would have found that. That was so funny. That is a good one. So thank you again, Thomas. And that is page.

Numbers 7 podcast at gmail.com. Keep them coming. I'm reading them all. Send me your best, uh, patois style rap verses. And that would be great. Speaking of page of podcast at gmail.com. Yeah, we've got some.

Shish, shh, shah, shah, shah, shout out. I'm going to give a quick shout out to Beck, who wrote us a beautiful little note that just said that I'm currently going through a devastating breakup and we love you so much. And you know what? Breakups can stay in whatever jail. But if there is a way, I mean, baby,

it's right before the summer. Go out and have a great time. And this summer, remember, Holden used to scream about how the streets would run white with cum. This is the summer for it. This is your moment. Get that vaccine and go.

I have a great time. Get out there and get so weirdly laid to the point where you don't even need anybody, you know, for a good long time. And then you have to probably go to therapy a little bit for it. I also want to shout out a couple people that wrote in to go into a little bit more detail into the fish on Fridays, which also, yeah, because we had Passover last week and then this weekend is Easter. And just a quick shout out. And thank you to Molly and Eleanor. for sending in a little bit more of an explanation. Molly said, the reason Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays during, like, this is after

explaining much more of it, but this made a lot more sense, is because Jesus dies on Good Friday when we don't, and it's all about warm-blooded animals. So you don't eat warm-blooded animals because we are acknowledging that Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice. What I do think is fun that Eleanor from Scotland, And I'm sprinkling. I'm doing a sprinkling motion with my fingers. Sprinkled on top is that in medieval times,

the church decreed that you couldn't eat meat on Fridays, specifically anything that bled, which meant fish was still in. But it gets interesting when you find out how people got around it. And they included this article about these monks that decided that that fish wasn't meat, but also nothing that lived. on water was meat. So ducks, geese, water birds,

beavers, anything that lives on water was also not meat. And I laughed and I laughed at these monks that were trying to get around it. That's so weird. Beaver. All right.

Jim's you. Different kind of somber that's gone out of that. And Polly. A different sort of. Thank you so much, Molly and Eleanor. I want to give another shout out to Josh, who wanted to add into our failed foods thing. I don't know if you guys saw this in the page 7 email.

That apparently in the UK, and apparently Holden, you said you hate fast food crossovers, which I forgot that you said last week. KFC and Pizza Hut in the UK have currently been selling this pizza that is, it says, it's here, it's got gravy, it's got KFC popcorn chicken,

it's got cheese, it's got sweet corn. It's the KFC popcorn chicken pizza that has gravy on it. I would actually maybe try that. Of course you would. I don't think I'd walk away. I think it's honestly, if it was just the popcorn chicken, I think that that and with some tomato,

that would actually just kind of be like chicken on a maro, but I think that would work better. I think the gravy would probably be a bit of a deal breaker. Is there tomato sauce and gravy? That's the question. You could replace. You could do like a taco pizza. Like my hometown has this like delightful, wonderful taco pizza where instead of doing pure tomato sauce like marinera, you mix half taco sauce, half marinera sauce.

So you could replace the tomato sauce on the pizza with gravy or you could do like a half and half. It looks like the gravy may actually, no, maybe that's a side. I don't think there's tomato sauce in this pizza. It's just gravy. It looks like. In fact, the gravy may serve as no. No. I'm seeing a slice here.

No, no, no, it's just cheese on bread and just popcorn chicken slapped on top, and the most egregious. And it's just giant, I mean, I don't even know how you eat this. These are egg-sized chunks of popcorn chicken. So this is not even seems feasible. What I feel like happens is you pick up the slice,

you pick up the slice, all the popcorn chicken falls off, and then you're just eating pizza without tomato sauce and popcorn chicken. Oh, it's called a chitza. It's called a chitza. Cheetah! Oh, you want some cheetah! What I'm looking at is called the KFC Cheetah.

It says all chicken, no crust. Didn't you just do a Homestar Runner Whizboo episode, Alden? It just makes me think of the cheat would then have their own pizza, and now I eat that cheats. The cheetah would be amazing. The cheetah is different. The cheetah is a pizza where instead of a crust, it's just a large patty of frat chicken.

I need a cheetah. Remember when they did in a KFC when the bread was chicken? Yeah, right. Yeah, I guess this is... The double down? This is the double down. Yeah, this is part of an ongoing genre for placing bread with chicken. I mean, technically the chicken has bread on it, so it's breaded chicken.

Either way, I can't even think about this one. I'm actually getting weirdly hungry. I do have one more shout out, and this shout out goes out to Hal, who wrote in a huge thank you to MJ, who also has been going through a very similar journey. over this past year. And they said a huge part of this self-realization was having a role model in someone like you. I don't feel like we've shared the exact same gender journey, but I identified so strongly with you, your desire to be a parent, your love of children, your love of pop culture, your passion for social justice. But most of all, when you said to Jackie and Holden, I'm not telling you that I'm a

different person, it's just being more able to accurately define myself. And I just want to say, thank you so much Hal, because Hal, she also wrote in today saying, replying to say that I came out today to my best friends. Only after did I see MJ come out as trans, I immediately burst into tears of joy. I'm so proud of us. Oh, thank you. And thank you for reading that from Hal, Jackie. I had seen that message that Holden had sent me and I've been meaning to write Hal back. So thank you. Thank you. Messages like that really, really, really mean a lot. And I love you guys so much. And thank you for being so open with us, MJ. It really can't.

Thank you enough. And I know, I have to do the list. I was just getting so into the shoutouts. It's very sweet. All right, we'll do them. All right, we're going to do mini list, and then we'll come back because this is actually a really great list. So we're doing mini list, and you have to sing a mini list song.

Okay. Who's on the mini list, check. Gade. Whoa, got to have that mini list, Jack. That made it so difficult for us to do that. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it.

I love cacophony. Because this is 21 celebrities who made oh so random purchases, and it really is just all across the board, so I am going to bring this one back, because Arnold Schwarzenegger owns an M-47 patent tank. It's the same type he drove as a young man in the Austrian army. Now he uses it to break shit. And I love it because you can look up videos of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his tank on his land. Just bowling shit over. Talk about coming full circle. You're in the army using that for bad,

and now you use it technically for chaotic good, and I appreciate it. Shack bought three Bentley's for $1 million. In an interview of the basketball legend said, I had on some shorts and a tank top and flip-flops, and I said to the salesman, sir, how much does this one cost? He said, can you afford it, Sonny Boy?

I was so upset that I bought three. Bentley's right there on the spot. Talk about fucking balls. I love that. I just like, oh, oh, I can't afford it. Okay. All right. You want my fucking say me? I would love to have that kind of money. Isn't that, like, just specifically for that reason. Yes, vengeance money. Hell yeah. Vengeance money. Real quick, I have to like run and check on something. Apparently our couches came here, even though they were supposed to be here next week and they can't fit them in our apartment. And so they're going to charge us extra money for that reason. So I need to run and, just like deal with this really quick.

Okay, you go. It costs us like $2,000. Okay, go, go, go. Now that Holden's gone, we should say three things we don't like about him. No, we have to get going with our mini list. All right, fine. So now it's just us. Now it's just us.

Who's on the list? Nicholas, Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage bought a dinosaur skull for 276. thousand dollars. He purchased it at an auction. A few years later, it was discovered that the fossil had been smuggled into the USA. So in 2015, he agreed to return it to the Mongolian government. Think about that. That is a $276,000 lost dog. If I had money, I would probably want some dinosaur bones. Yes. But would you also want an elephant at your wedding? Because Nicole, Richie, Welcome to that, Golden.

Sorry. By the way, just really quick, this is actually funny. I thought I had a couch emergency just now because they showed up with this giant couch. We're supposed to get our couch next week. And they're like, we have to charge you 20% extra. It doesn't fit in the elevator. And we got to do a restocking fee.

And you're not going to get your couches and legs is having a nervous breakdown. And then apparently they looked and they had the wrong address. So, and I guess it was like this massive wrap-around couch that was like the size of, I don't know, know what? You know what even one of those like huge pieces? Oh, you should have just taken it

you could have gotten it in there. They couldn't get it into the elevator and then I'm just literally sitting there. So anyway, so what the hell are you talking about with an elephant? And then I sit down and Jay's like and there's an elephant at the wedding. It's the list, hold it. You've got to be prepared

for anything. It's the list. We're doing mini list and you're having a crisis. What a maddening couple of five minutes there for me. All right. Yeah, well, Nicole took she paid to have an elephant at her wedding as a symbol of good luck. Of course. Why would you not do that?

Yeah, everyone knows elephants. And also to make elephant in the room jokes, you know, because you're just like, hey, you know, right? Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Love to have an elephant in the room is that I'm having cold feet. And we will not be getting married. You don't want to have a lot of elephant in the room jokes at your wedding because it really makes it sound like you're trying to hide something. Yes. And I am to stop this mini list. Just, I need to send this picture because we should probably use it.

Mike Tyson bought Bengal Tigers. Sure, sure, sure. But this picture is of Mike Tyson with a white tiger and he's in just in his underpants, in his tidy whiteies with a white tiger on a chain. And apparently he's got five acres of fenced roaming. space for the tigers, which I guess, I mean, I feel like I have a lot of feelings after Tiger King last year. Yeah, that's the thing. All I can think about is Tiger King. Yeah. All I, but all I can think of is that, man, when those tigers snap and Mike Tyson is just in his tidy witties just scream as they just rip them apart. Well, now he's replaced it with his love of pigeons. Oh, my God, he does love all those pigeons, but that's not Tiger space. So I hope I hope he's traded out the tigers for pigeons because.

You know, you do that shit on the top of a roof. All right. We got to get out of here. I can't see. I think I might be going. Oh, my Lord. All right, good. The first one, the answer's Michael Bublay.

And I only picked it because I think that he has a funny name. But apparently he's also having sex with the new nanny that they hired. Of course he is. I'm surprised. It's the kind eyes. I literally only. chose that because I thought, Michael Bubele.

Do you guys even are, what did he even do? Christmas songs. Yeah, my mom loves Michael Bube. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He has a Crosby one ofie. Yeah, has a Bresby one of me. See, again, I think it's just because her accent, it works for,

Michael Bubele. You know what I mean? It's fun to say. Michael Bouglay and Harry Conic Jr. My mom, oh my God, the rivers that come from. But, The next blind item I'll leave is a mystery to you.

This former A-list actress wants to do the reboot of the show that made her a star. Her wife doesn't one or two because the wife likes to be the famous one in the family. So, the famous one in the family is also very narcissistic and has been going through a lot of shit lately, reports of her being shitty to work for. J-Lo. No. And then the other one, and then the one that got famous, this show. was such a big deal when it was on, I feel like. And it had this iconic internet thing

that we've talked about not too long ago. And it was like, I watched it a lot. It has a lot of, like, kind of mystical realism a little bit in it, but it's like a quirky, sexy show. Allie McBeal? Yes, and who would the actress be? Is it a flock part? No.

Oh, you're spreading it pretty thin. You're spreading it. Pretty then when it comes to my knowledge of the Allie Macbent Beulcast. We have both maxed out at Colista Vlockehart. And Galista Vlockehart. That's so funny. Well, she's also, this actress, I feel like I know her better for a different comedy

show that came out after that, that ran for a few seasons, and then got canceled too early, and then came back on Netflix, but it wasn't that great. And again, you'll know immediately if you get this other person, the narcissist, who has a show. Maybe their name is on the name of the show. and everybody sort of hates them now a little bit because of the comments that came out about her. Yeah, so Ali McBeal, actor, Tris, her wife. Portia?

Yeah. Porsche Derrassie? Was she in Allie McBeal? Yes. I guess, yeah, she's on Allie McBeal. And apparently 20th Century Fox is in early development on a limited series revival with Callista Flockhart who's been an approach to do it. It's confession time. I've never seen an episode of Ali McBeal.

I used to watch it so much. It had, I remember. It has Yonush in it, I know that. And is Yannush in it and the Dancing Baby. That is literally all that I know about Allie McBeal. And it had like the first unisex bathroom I've ever seen in anything or in life, right? Which I thought was really crazy. Do they fuck in the unisex bathroom?

I mean, they fuck everywhere. It's a very sexual. Is it? Do they have sex in it? It's sexy? Oh, it's very sexy. And it's very like, it's a lot of like, this is about, I'm sure that maybe this happened

the show, but it's like, I got dumped last night and then it'll like cut to like someone getting like thrown into a dumpster. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing where there's a lot of visual kind of mystical realism stuff going on. You're saying it's not sexy. It is though, yeah, everybody's sucking and fucking in and yeah. You liked me? Yeah, episode number four was called sucky. I don't know if that's true.

Sucking. No, no, but definitely Allie McBeal was like a big... Like something Chad Hanks would say. Yeah, yeah. Well, that'll be interesting for you. I think you two might enjoy, if the revival's good, you might enjoy it. I think it's dated for sure now because it was very much of its time, which was late 90s, early 2000s. But that's so weird that I'm the one who watched it. You were, we were in like sixth grade.

That's the thing. You were in like ninth grade. It made more sense. I was a little bit older. All right. You're calling me old and I fucking hate it. Honestly, straight up, I was 10. when Ali McBeal came out.

Which is why I wasn't into Ali McBeal. This was like when I first probably started watching like adult television programming. At this time also I was watching more adult TV but I was obsessed with like ER Chicago. Oh, the practice. Like that was more majams.

Yeah, I was a Thursday night must see TV night person. Oh Thursday night must be. Friends. Seinfeld. ER. Oh my God. Huge. I was on that was what I would come downstairs from watching TV upstairs alone, watch all of those shows with, like, my parents,

and then just go right back upstairs and continue to watch the TV upstairs. And you know what? It was a depressing existence, and I don't know why I enjoyed it, but I did. So anyways, here's the final blind item for you two. Here we go, and it's kind of a double blind. I'm going to read both of these blinds,

see if you can figure it out. This back in the day, A-List actress is trying to revive her reality career, so is kissing the butt of the talk show host slash producer who can help her. It is so very needy. Now, this is the other blind. It's the same answer person.

Conspicuously absent from a recent celebrity documentary, Jackie, that you watched, is the offspring of a permanent A-plus list producer slash showrunner. It is because no one liked or trusted the offspring then or now. Are you talking about the 90s, the Kid 90s documentary? This person, she is absent from this because nobody liked her. She is the offspring of a producer slash showrunner. Oh, Tori. Yeah, Tori Spelling. Yeah, Tori Spelling.

And Ryan Sechrest is the one, this is so gross. When asked recently what celebrity she should have slept with but didn't, she said, Ryan Seacrest, it was when he first started, I didn't know. I was on 90210.10.1. And I was like, oh, whatever, I would have been dating up. I could be a Kardashian right now. So she's very mad. She didn't realize how successful Ryan Seacrest was going to be,

Or else she would have done the dirty with him. Isn't that great? Yeah. It's not nice. Reading into, I don't know if I ended up talking about this on page seven, but reading into the 90210,10 reboot that they were doing, and how yucky Tori spelling was being about all of it. It was a, it was rough.

She is very, she wants money and she has nuns of it. And she is getting into places where it's just like, oh, girl, just like, cool. You got to calm down. Like just go and just chill out. You got to chill out. Yeah. Because she's making bad decisions. And she's also saying things like that

where it's like, again, that's not a good look. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yikes. But he was, she could have been a Kardashian. I can see again, speaking of which. And I don't like what I see.

Also, she couldn't have been a girl. Yeah, Brian Seekrist is not even, he's like an absolute be list. He's married. What are you talking about? Yeah. Like, there is no royalty around Ryan. Is it right for Kardashian? No.

Makes no sense. Makes no sense. So funny. Well, that's it. We did it! We did it! What a good one. What a fun.

I was so excited to go into this episode just with everything going on. MJ, hell yeah. This is so awesome. I'm so excited for you. But then Lil Nas X, White Boy Summer. I mean, it was almost as if they were just like, you know what? Page 7, we could see that they've struggled to get some good news stories. We're just going to give them everything in one week.

between little Nazak's and good old Chethanks. I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for giving us a fun, safe space to have fun conversations and for joining us in that. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And also hit me up at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And again, if you want to hear me screaming about toxic relationships when it comes to twilight and the trauma that I've had to deal with through therapy,

because of it. Go on over to the page 7 Patreon because I drop two episodes of that every week and we have a lot of fun. Hell yeah. Check me out. Twitch.tv. forward slash Hold Nader's Ho.

Actually check us out. Jackie and I do streams. MJ Popson sometimes. I haven't had you in a little while actually. We've got to get you on some time. Yes. But yes, yes, yes. Twitch.tv.4.S. Holdenators ho.

Monday, Tuesday, and Friday nights. Friday nights are when I do a stream with Jackie. Also, page seven podcast at gmail.com, y'all, page number seven at gmail. Podcast at gmail.com. I honestly, I love all the wonderful emails that come in. I check it every week now, obviously, because I put so much the content into the show.

Thank you, thank you, everybody who's sending stuff in. And MJ? My name is mj. Jackie Holden. I'm infinitely grateful to you guys for making such a wonderful fun and safe and accepting space. It's hard to imagine feeling as safe as this feels, you know, any time in the past. Not with you guys, but just in general. And you guys are a huge part of that.

And so I'm really grateful to you guys. I'm grateful to all the listeners who have sent love and keep sending it. And I love you back. And I'm MJK. Elkat on Instagram. Bye, guys. Let's talk to you next week. Have a good one. Bye.

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