Page 7 - Ep. 400: Lil' Spookers McNeely

Episode Date: April 29, 2021

Oscars? More like Snorscars! Listen to us goss bout the Oscars, but more importantly City Slickers, a literal baby Korn and the latest Page 7 approved rubber footwear, Floafers. And in celebrity conspiracy corner; Is Lady Gaga a murderer?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And waste coming with the sacks. You're supposed to know and come in with the sacks. What a Bella thing to say. I'm never going to dance again. I'm never going to dance again. Okay? I'm never going to dance again. All right.

So funny. We are going through the shit over during Twilight, okay? I am going through a lot of trauma right now because of the Twilight. I understand. I respect your trauma too. I just want to say that right now. You don't respect my Twilight. You don't.

You don't do it. He almost got through it. He almost got through that sentence without smiling. And Jeff is sick of me trying to talk to him about my twilight issues. And yes, it bleeds over into the main feed. Now, I apologize. But if you, I'll, I have to stop. It was just because I was just recording Twilight.

So I'm in the Twilight place. And sometimes I wanted to go into the forest, lay down and die. Is that too much to ask? You're a real Twilight Princess. Oh, my Zelda fans out there. Any Zelda fans? Fantastic. I don't know what that means.

Is that bad? It's the name of a Zelda video game. Is it fine? Am I good? Am I a sorceress? You're a sorceress, Jackie. A sorcerer. That was great.

That was much easier to do than I thought it would be. I like Twilight Princess. All right, I'll be Twilight Princess. Thank you. There you go. And now the episode's over. No, it's not. We're not talking.

I will not bring up Twilight again because there are a million other things to talk about. Like, city slickers, yes. And the Oscars. Yes. And the Razzies. The lead is city slickers. It came out that I saw. I believe I saw with my dad in the movie theater back in the 90s.

Yes, that's the lead, not the Oscars that happened this year. No, I want to talk about city slickers because. MJ, I haven't screamed this at you yet. I was talking about it last night on our Among Us stream. We watched City Slickers the other day. And I hadn't seen City Slickers since I was a teenager. Does it hold up? You know what?

I was, you know you watch these movies from the early 90s with like your hands kind of over your eyes of like, oh God, what are they going to say? Is this going to be? Like, I mean, I told you guys when we shut off the movie waiting, I was like, I can't handle. these jokes anymore. Yeah, they're like, here's a funny joke. Women are dogs. That's like what? That's even like, queer people are people.

Like, it's like, well, that's not. Isn't that so funny? Like, yeah, that's just not even, there's no attempt to joke there. No, but what was weird about city slickers of what put me down this weird worm time alone was thinking about the idea that movies about marriages,

because now they're all about our, age in city slickers. So we was weird to watch it from our age standpoint. If you haven't seen city slickers, go over to HBO Max and watch it right now. It's Billy Crystal. Daniel Stern is in it. Jack Palance is in it. It is about men that have been married for a long time that are like, we need to get our smile back. We're going to go out and like work the land and move cattle for a couple of weeks, which I understand why that's not actually a thing, but I feel like it could be a thing because they teach them how to do it. And then essentially, you're having people pay to do a very, but you need to be a very skilled person to do it. And the thing I took the most

out of City Slickers is the fact that I'm very happy that there are three different dynamics of marriages and movies in the 90s. There's like the one that's like, yeah, they're happy, but they've been together forever, so all the spice is gone. There's the one that hates his wife to the point that he pretended to be asleep at a birthday party. Yeah, yeah, just to avoid her. I mean, she is pretty horrible. She's horrible to him.

And then there's the other kind where it's like the eternal bachelor that married someone young and they're like, yeah, but you don't know, you married a young one. Which those were the only kind of marriages I feel like that really existed in the 90s in movies. Oh, is there another one, MJ? There's a fourth. The fourth is dead wife. Dead wife. They're all dead.

They're all dead. The four marriage horsemen of the 90s. Really? It really is. Blossom. I mean, these are TV shows, but Blossom, dead wife. Yeah. Oh my God, you're right.

Many of the shows especially, I think, were the sitcoms were dead wife. But I like with like step by step. I like the they started with the blended families and things like that. Blended family is nice. That was really good. Yeah. It was just so weird to. watch where I just was like, I looked over at Jevin, I was like, do you feel this way yet?

And he's like, no, no, no, we haven't been in a relationship that long. And it was like, I guess. But then I started worrying where it's just the idea of, I think that I started trying to be an adult way too late to really have to worry about it happening when I turn 40. So I don't think I'll feel the same. And the idea of like, no, we're not stable enough to feel trapped. Like, we have no stability in our life whatsoever. we, our generation can't feel trapped in this way.

Yeah, you have to have like a big house that you feel stuck in, that you feel like you can't get out. I mean, I do still think about that sensation growing up. And I know my dad, like, hit that wall, I think at one point where it's just like, I'm just in this house. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, like, go on vacation stuff.

But it's like, especially when you sort of, if you don't have a reason to go anywhere and there's just nothing, there's nothing like you can just stroll over to. I need to be able to stroll over to a facility, I think is what I need in my, even when I have a house. What kind of a facility? Like a coffee shop or something. A bookstore. Oh, I thought you'd been like going to get in like a little shock treatment.

So you could be like, I can feel again. Yeah, yeah. Or some kind of like man milking closet. Ooh, man milking. No, I've seen those videos. You know what I mean? It's not really my thing, but I get it. I just want to have a milking facility for,

adults right by me is all I'm saying that I could walk to and not just be like I'm I'm in a steel cage of my own making you know what I mean but it's true though Jackie I think the the millennials are kind of like the first adult generation in like the seemingly the real decline of you know of civilization the world perhaps on the edge of climate apocalypse like and certainly of like none of us can afford houses none of us have jobs none of us have jobs with benefits, right? So the like, I'm so trapped thing doesn't work as well. We're a generation of vagabonds. So you can't be trapped if you're a vagabond. And I think that is essentially where we're at these days and where we're going to stay. Yeah, we're we're circus folk at heart,

you know? Which is why every article about us is like, oh, well millennials ever stop eating toast and buy a house, you know, because we're eating too much avocado toast, you know? Right. Millennials spent $27 on a piece of avocado toast but won't put a doubt payment on a house. But it's because the avocado toast is accessible and the house is not. Right. Yeah.

The house is not. The avocado toast is right there in front of you and doesn't cost a house worth of money. No, and there's not always something going wrong with the avocado toast. It's not every time you turn around like, oh, I got to get a plumber for the avocado toast. Oh, God, my bathroom just fell through the floor.

I got to get this avocado toast out of here. Um, yeah, I'm up on my city slickers little slide. You better watch out. We have been going for so long without talking about the Oscars and only talking about a movie they came out. And I want to say the late 90s. City, it is 1991 and city slickers is not a comedy. Wow, early 90s. It is early 90s.

We're still talking. Good Lord. And is the same, like his Bruno Kirby, his same best friend from when Harry met Sally. and for some reason it's one of those movies that I feel like we talk about every once in a while why did I watch this movie hundreds of times when I was a kid it's not a kid's movie

it's not funny it's very sad it's like dealing with issues that like you're not dealing with as a kid why did we watch it all the time because of that opening straight up it's a great opening that running with the Bulls opening is the reason for the season

is such a splashy funny fun beginning to a movie and then you get settled in and you're just like oh this is about how my life's gonna suck in about 30 to 40 years yeah and that's just thinking about the feeling of being trapped

but you know that's I think where we're at in part of pandemic even as pandemic comes to a close of just like thinking about those kind of things and I just wanted to see if city slickers held up you wait until I watch the search for Curly's Gold because we're going for

guys. I mean, I do remember that being a satisfying follow-up to the first film. If I remember correctly, but again, at 10 years old when I was quoting City Slickers, I don't know if I knew any better. So, I will say this about Steve Slickers. Are you about to bring up Bobbleau-Mendell?

No. I was about say it is far more entertaining than the Oscars were this year. I think it's why I'm talking about city slickers. Yeah, honestly. I am so honestly confused by people's emotional reactions to the Oscars. It's been the gamut.

I have seen, I saw people tweeting as it was happening like, this is the best, most human, amazing Oscars I've ever seen. Steven Soderberg is a genius. And then I look the next day and everybody's like, fuck those Oscars. And I was just very confused. I am, maybe I'm old. Maybe as an elder millennial.

We did just talk about city slickers for about nine minutes. So please continue you. I did just talk about Cieslickers for so much real estate of this episode. It's actually alarming and I would not be surprised if the reaction is violent. I just wanted to see how long I could talk about it. I didn't even bring up Babilu Mandel, but I'm going to keep saying his name until you ask you. You did. Just now until just all right, what's the deal?

Oh yeah, Bobalue Mandel, he wrote the screenplay and Jackie cannot get over that that is a man's name. His name is Babelou Mendel. Babelu is a nickname. Now I want to find out why his name is Babelieu. His name is Mark. Where did he get the nickname from? And when I saw, and Holden didn't even. And I guess that means he made his, like, his Writers Guild official name Babeloo, which is fun.

Yes. And I sent this great joke to Holden about Bobbleu Mandel. He didn't even respond. I didn't respond. I was so high on the Caliweed. Not even a like? I couldn't. Nothing.

Bobu. Mandel. I didn't know where I landed on it. I didn't know where I landed on it. I didn't know if I did like it. He wrote He wrote Splash. He wrote a league of their own and his name. There's no joke. The joke is I was so surprised that his name is Bobblu-Mandel. There's no joke. You're just like, I don't know how to feel about that. It's great joke to hold it. It's not a joke. There's no joke. There's no joke. I will say great transition though because Boba-Mandelle did win a Razzie for the way. worst screenplay when he wrote the updated the Flintstones and I understand how he could win the Razzie because of it. Although that was another one. Does it hold? I watched that version of

the Flintstones. Yes, I'm referring to the John Goodman, Rick Moranis version of the Flintstones. That was another one of those ones that I watched way too much, but is it good? I think I was, I had a, yeah, what do you mean? Like I was, I knew it was, it was bad when it came out? Is the answer? That is horrible things. I was a little aged. I was aged out of this. I was, I aged out of the... I think even I was aged out,

and I'm only a year old than you, Jackie. I feel like I remember that coming out and being like, this is too weird, but also I was a hater, so I might have just been being a hater. Yeah, I was definitely a hater of something like this back back. I also am realizing more and more as I am fiance to someone that did not grow up in front of a television that actually was, like, outside and like running around

and, like, doing things that, like, kids do. And I bring up these things. All you did was watch television when you were kids. That is true. But it gives me all of this content now. Look at me at golf. Yeah. It's given you a lot of cultural capital.

Talking about City Slickers. You did. We've not word out at 14 minutes and still nobody will tell me why everyone hated the Oscars. Hold on. All right. Let me break it down for you. You kept saying all these award ceremonies, there was no soul in the zoo. It was too much Zoom.

That was all true. And now they're all doing it in person. So it's, it still is awkward. Like, it's less awkward than Zoom. But it's still this weird, spatially it's weird, right? It's not a ton of people in a room together. It's just like a very, it's like a little dinner party. This was the most, is the sobering quality of it.

Because if you're going to have people sitting at tables in a small room and you see no drinks and they just have to sit there for out. It really, like, for some reason, I think you forget it when it's in a big theater. But having them all be in this, like, tiny room with these, like, very sober scenario. And there's just no, no food, no drinks on these tables. I don't even understand what the tables were there for. And also, you could see they were all sweating. So you knew it was hot in there because also they were in a converted train station.

So they looked like a train station. Yeah, it's cool. Because honestly, like, Union Station is a beautiful place. And I think that it's really cool that they did that. But it looked like they were all sweating as well as those lights were so unforgiving and so upsetting that I was just looking at them like it's not made to be this bright. And how do you feel like they're also separated, which I understand the COVID guidelines. It felt sober, right? And like when you and Yu Jung won and she wasn't obviously, I wasn't allowed to be helped up.

to the stage and she's 73 fucking years old. She needs help up on the stage. She needs help off of the stage and you could see Brad Pitt like going to like, you could see he wanted to help her, but you could also tell I imagine they were like, don't touch it. It makes me think of a rest of development. No touching. Which is absurd.

No touching. If everybody's, if I'm guessing all of those people got secretly vaccinated literally months ago. Sure. If not, they've still, they've already gotten vaccinated. Like at this, like there's no way. And then I'm sure they all took COVID tests. Again, let the people hug at the award show.

Let them do it. We want to see it. That's my thing. No one's going to get mad on Twitter afterwards and be like, you didn't follow protocols. And those people are whatever anyways. Well, and now that in the U.S., everyone 16 plus is eligible, that does, of course, there's still a lot of people who want it and haven't gotten it.

And who, you know, but like, I feel like it was actually a huge missed opportunity that they, At the beginning, Regina King was like, oh, we're like vaxed and tested and retested and just like Hollywood's been doing this whole time. And like made it be like, oh, we've been doing this this whole time and it's actually fine where it's like, no, no, no, no. First of all, it wasn't fine the whole time because like L.A. was like, you know, the surge in L.A. was like really bad in part because of everybody working through it. Productions. Yeah. But like there is a vaccine now that is literally available to everyone in the United States who is 16 and over. where they should have been like, we are all indoors because we are all vaccinated. If you are vaccinated,

like, it's just such a missed opportunity. And we're indoors, you can take the mask, mask off, and you can do whatever. Yeah, you can fucking suck each other. Every, those, everyone there was an adult, I think, like, literally they could have been like, and I'm sure they're all vaccinated. They could have been like,

everyone here is vaccinated and it's safe to be indoors together and party and do whatever if you are all vaccinated. It is. that's literally the CDC says they could all be in there together. Yeah. If that old lady was walking off the stage, Brad Pitt should have grabbed her, flipped her upside down, just started fucking going down her and she started 69 at each other.

Honestly, that's how fine it is. It would have been great. I would have watched it. Oh, yeah. It would have been like, get it, get it, get it. Yeah, I would have screen. None of that was happening. It was very sober.

Because then like you said, Stephen Soderberg was the director, one of three directors for the Oscars. his intention was to make it more cinematic, which I guess he did. I love the opening, following Regina King who looked like a goddamn goddess. I love Regina King so much. Oh, my God. She's just, oh, she's crafted out of beautiful stone. Her arms. You know, every time I look at her, I know that, like, it is the JK of whenever we would talk

about other women's arms, but I get obsessed with, I'm obsessed with her, and I'm, you just watch. Oh, God, my head. Just stop working. What's the show? The watchman. Watchman. The watch.

It has the word watch in it. And so that's even more upsetting that you would forget. You're going to go to whatever jail today. I've been in there for a decade, maybe. I'm in solitary at this point. I can feel it. And so what he would do is he would do these sweeping shots in between that were so weird. And like he was trying to, and I get the intention of making.

of making it more cinematic. Or that bizarre angle where, first of all, they would have the, okay, before we even, well, let me get it to it in a second, but they had, it was during, what's her name, she was talking to what's his name? It was a weird angle, though. Oh, yeah.

Remember when he had to, like, turn around in the seat? Laura Dern was talking to, I can't believe I'm blanking his name as he literally won the Oscar for. Was it Daniel Cleoia? Yeah, yeah. And remember that? And he had to like turn around awkwardly in his seat

and the camera was like really low and kind of she was way in the background. That was like a weird, yes. That was like a weird, but that was a good, that's a good example of like trying to quote unquote make it more cinematic. I don't even care about any of that stuff. I'm going to lay my gauntlet down.

Last year I kind of kept my mouth shut about it because I feel like they kind of got away with it. They definitely did not this year. The show needs a host. It needs a host. And it needs a funny host. And he's a host that understands when to inject moments of levity and when to not.

and yes, maybe some feelings will fucking get hurt, but I don't care. Award shows need hosts, and they need funny hosts. Hosts that are going to keep the energy up. Hosts that are going to transit MCs. That's the whole point of an MC, a master of ceremonies,

gets up on stage, keeps the show going. It was so clearly affected by that, and I'm so sick of this whole being so scared of comedians these days that you can't get a fucking host for your show. I think it's ridiculous. You need a host, and that wasn't the one,

that was the number one issue with it. There were other issues we'll talk about, but like, and it was so apparent too because it was so sterile and sober because they got, because at least last year, I think they got away with them more because they had more funny people.

Didn't they have Tina Faye and Amy Polar at one point? Or Maya Rudolph or somebody. They had more, they had the little realm moment this year, way too late in the show. So the comedy and the levity felt so out of place, even though I did, we'll talk about it more in a second,

but I did love the Glenclose doing Da Butt, you know, was fun, but, but way late in the show and so out of place, I was like, felt like for two seconds I was watching a different award show. Well, I also didn't realize until after I was reading the articles that a huge part for me that I like about the Oscars is watching the best original song performances, but they took them out and performed them before the show. Oh, yeah, you're right.

That's the other part. That's the other fun part of the show. Yeah, right, because there's not live, right? The Grammys, because the Grammys was also small, right, and kind of intimate yet it didn't feel this weird at all. But also it was like all live performance and like live performance is always interesting and fun to watch. And the Oscars doesn't have that because you're not going to be like, let's reenact the scene from the father. So the music, they really do need the energy of the music, right? And for a host, I'm not saying get Andrew Dice Clay, but I think you can find someone who's going to be funny and like, you know, less.

If you're so scared of being offended, like super milk toast, and they can get up there and be like super clean the whole time. You're going to name drop Andrew Dice Clay, but I can't talk about city slickers for 14 minutes. Where all our references, it's got to be 30 today. That's the rule. References have to also be millennials. I'm just saying the adventures of Ford Fairlane holds up.

And that is who really should have gotten the Oscar back in 1990. No, thank you. The Adventure of Fort, the Adventure of Ford Fairlane, surprising, there's a couple of surprisingly funny moments in an otherwise very bad comedy. Thank you. They had Chris Rock host the Oscars in like, I want to say 2015. It was like after Black Lives Matter had started,

so it was definitely after 2014. It must have been 2015 because I remember he just, he didn't say anything political the whole time and at the end of the show, he was like, as the credits were rolling, he was like, Black Lives Matter and I was excited but like he

you know he actually I remember being like he did a good job I think he had a couple of topical critical jokes because Chris Rock is good at that and like you know I feel like you could I hear you hold it and I think that what happened was it's so insulting

I think Ricky Jervase hosted too many times and everyone was like fuck that guy and then the Kevin Hart thing happened and the Kevin Hard thing happened so that was what it was right so Ricky Jervase got all actors in Hollywood and all Hollywood people, like, very upset at comedian hosts, right? And then they got Kevin Hart, who honestly, I think would have probably done a great job,

yada, yada, yada, but he did do some issue things in his past. He has since, like, apologize to those things, whatever, however you feel about it, I don't care because of the end of the day, they just dropped him like a bad habit and didn't replace them and was just like, I think we can get away with this. We're smarter than the people, you know, we're smarter than these comedians. We're smarter than, you know, we understand how to put on a show. It's like, you don't. There is such a art form to being a master of ceremonies,

and it is so hugely important in any, like, show that involves more than, like, one act, but especially an award show and especially an award show where most of the people there are boring as fuck. So it would just be like boring as fuck announcements, boring as fuck like giving out of the award, and then the person would get up and also be boring. The only thing that should be boring about the show is when, like, the makeup person gets up to accept the reward. that's everybody goes to get their snacks or whatever you know what I mean unless they're wearing something fun and then we can talk about the fun thing they're wearing

but usually they get up no offense makeup people but you know what I mean like it should be the those people should be allowed to be the boring part not be just another in a long series of boring parts and this whole thing and especially in a year where like no offense but most of the movies were kind of fucking boring you know what I mean like technically

like I enjoyed them I watched the shit out of them but like they were slow and thoughtful and, you know, deal with, you know what I mean? Deal with a bunch of nomad lands over here, right? And so, and that's fine. It was so good. It was so, the way that they, the shots they got and those moments that they got with these actors with these real American nomads to beautiful, incredible movie, deserves it,

everything. But like, because that is so sterile, because you won't nominate fucking comedies for anything. fucking give us a comedian host and also give us horror movies in the Oscars Oh please But I mean that's a million complaints And so yeah

But I am happy to say Hopefully they got a wake up call Holy shit The numbers were so crazy bad It dipped under 10 million Which is like insane Unheard of for the Oscars It's crazy

Atrocious But it shows I feel that it's also the like Too Little Too Late or they finally like, I do see that they are trying to be more inclusive. They're trying to include more diverse. Killed it with that. It was the most diverse series of awards acceptances of awards given out.

It was amazing. It's also like in that same way where it's like, but you do realize that doing this, doing even that and being more inclusive one year does not forgive you for all of the generations that you have put people of color and not acknowledge them, not acknowledge their work, like doing even just a little bit here. I feel like they're like, I can just feel watching it. The old white dudes that were patting themselves on the back just like,

look at us. We let them speak their language. Oh, we are wonderful. Isn't there a party, though, that thinks that, like, isn't it interesting that it just so happens that the most diverse awards ceremonies we've ever gotten ever also just happen to be the most boring as if a bunch of old white people purposely made these the most boring,

fucking possible award shows ever. Is that the conspiracy quarter? Because I feel like it could be. I think I get it. I mean it could. I can't believe it feels like it feels like they purposely try to make it boring. Like between this and the Golden Globes,

it was like, what's going on? It feels like you guys are actually trying to make this unwatchable. Right. And I feel like right. The problem is there are two distinct phenomenon going on, right? one of which is there has been like increased, you know, criticism of these institutions in the Oscars,

especially for, you know, decades and decades of ignoring work and performances by people of color. And then like a parallel but distinct track is people being like, Ricky Jervais sucks, you know, can we not do like the Seth MacFarlane? We saw your boobs. Like the criticism of like the ways that comedy has been. used in like the Oscars before to like be really oppressive.

And those are two distinct things, right? But I agree because when you said about the ratings hold on, and I remember how Trump used to always be like, low ratings, poor rating. Like, because it was always like, oh, now they're two, the Oscars are too woke and so now they suck. And it's not that they're too woke because they're nominating more people of color. It's just that in this case, I see that it was,

and I am now coming around to your argument about the MC. If anything, you could blame the only corner of wokeness on like, we can't have a funny host What if he says something? You know what I mean? It's just like that's one why I draw the up. Just choose wisely.

I don't know what to tell you again. You don't need, I don't think you need. Surprisingly, you can be funny and not be bad. Exactly. You certainly can. Right.

It's a huge overcorrection to be like you can't have comedy because it's because it's all racist. In fact, that's like the argument. Right. And I feel like that's why it's worth criticizing when comedy is oppressive because so the best comedy isn't you know and it's actually quite possible to be

to have a uh experienced skilled like hilarious host and have it not be oppressive and of course that's different that the word offensive is so not helpful because like of course like a really really good comedian can like say something that's like personally or individually offensive to an actor or make fun of an actor or whatever and that but that's that's not it's like i feel like Ricky Drewvisa was like, yeah, he would make fun of like, you know, actors and that's fine, whatever. But then it's like when he just says like massively oppressive shit, that's the problem. So there are hundreds and hundreds of comedians who could do that job.

Famous ones, not famous ones. Like I hadn't thought about the role of the absence of the MC as like something that really makes it feel more like. And it almost makes it feel more like you're at a like a formal, like you're at like an award. ceremony for your work or something, you know, as opposed to like a party. And honestly, I think they could have remedied this a little bit by just having more funny people doing the announcing. It was a lot. It was like very self-serious actors for almost 100% of the time except for Lil Rel. I think was the only time when it was a, when it was a

actual person with a comedic background on any level. And again, that happened so late in the show that it was just kind of awkward and like Glenn Close kind of saved it with her debut dance which was a lot of fun There are a good moment. The debut dance which but then we spent the entire watching of the debut dance with Glenn Close. I was like well this is obviously staged.

All of this is obviously staged. Really? This is so prescripted. I appreciate the fact that she came out and did say but the dancing part is what took him by surprise which is why it was so fun because she was going with the flow.

And what's funny is it did. didn't get good until that improvised moment. And again, that speaks towards why you need funny people making funny things happen throughout the show. So yes, they might have been able to get away with it if all, most of the people in between, most of the announcers, even if they were like Oscar nominated or whatever it is, like were actually had any kind of a comedic background and actually made any kind of attempt to being funny. But again, I think everyone's so afraid to do that at this point. But that's why it was great, like Daniel Kaluya watching him, except the Oscar, which he fucking deserves wholeheartedly

and then embarrass his mom in the same get-go because he brings up the fact that his parents had to have sex to make him as a thank you. And you just, I love, immediately he'd shot to his mom watching and crying and then you could see her get like,

what the fuck did he just say? And I loved that. I loved Yuni-Jong going up and mercilessly hitting on Brad Pitt after she won for Best Supporting Actress. I thought that was amazing. Because also Brad Pitt, with the little bun, it made me think of Legend of the Fall all over again. Mama Mia, Mama Mia. I like that Brad Pitt has quarantine hair too, you know, even though he could probably get a hair cut.

He's just like us. He's not just like us. But my question to you, so I pose this in the email, and we cannot do this if you don't know any more than I do. but we know that there was upset online because everyone assumed that Chadwick Boseman would win for Best Actor for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. Now, I've also heard on the opposite end

that people thought it was a bit of a fluff to him because he wasn't the lead actor in the movie that he should have been up for best supporting. Technically it was more of an ensemble piece. I could see that. But I do feel like, I don't know. I feel like it kind of is his story

at the same time that movie. I don't know. I think you can make an argument for him being the protagonist for sure. So I haven't seen it yet and I'm very excited to see it but Holden told me you cried through it so I'm just like, it's another one of those

where I'm like I have to like steal myself so that I don't because I want to watch it. No, there's just one part. I honestly it's I don't even think I would have cried if I didn't know that he was struggling with cancer and was on death's door. I think while he was shooting this film

and he has this monologue at one point where he's literally like screaming at at God and like I just lost it. Like it was just this beautiful A, it was like you would have gone on to do it was another like Heath Ledger moment where you're just like God damn you're so good and like you know

you can kind of see that in a big dumb Marvel movie but you really see it in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom and it's so compounded by the fact that he is so thin in that movie and so like clearly you know getting towards his end and and man it just hit me so fucking hard but but also I think I was applying a lot of this stuff to it whereas like Lexi was shocked when she looked to her right and I just had tears like running down my fit like I don't know if it's necessarily like overtly like it's gonna get you monologue but with all

of that stuff underneath it it just got me there I also just just like, I'm just crying a lot more movies. I'm just getting older and weirder and like more softy as I guess. You know, you're just feeling more. There's nothing wrong with that. You're just being affected more especially, I mean, you might cry while watching City Slickers, but.

Oh, right? I always go, Curly's gold though, right? Because doesn't Curly die or whatever? How dare you bring up the fact that he dies? And yes, he does. But then there's also... I didn't realize that Anthony Hopkins had only one other Oscar. And I can only am.

I don't imagine, I haven't seen, the father, I haven't been able to bring it, bring, as someone that is currently dealing with a parent with dementia. Like, I don't know if I can watch it, especially Olivia Coleman and Anthony Hopkins. Like, that, like, I don't know if I can handle it. But I imagine he crushed it. And I love that the after the fact, you could tell that, like, even the people that voted for him were like, well, we didn't expect to give the, the Oscar to someone who wouldn't be there because Anthony Hopkins wasn't there. But also,

Chadwick Bowesman wasn't going to be there either. So it's like they feel like they did this whole thing where they're like throwing Anthony Hopkins under the bus. But he's a very old man. And I imagine traveling right now is probably not the best thing for him to do. He apparently, this is super interesting too. He like begged to be able to be like, you know, beamed in, like to zoom in.

like to zoom in. Like he was like, I don't, I'm 83. There is a pandemic going on. I don't want to travel to one of the remote sites. And they said no. They said he, like, they wouldn't let him zoom in. And so everyone was like, just for him. Yeah.

Like, and everyone was like, oh, Anthony Hopkins, you know, LOL, he like went to Ben instead accepting his best actor award. But it was interesting because I saw a lot of like disability advocates basically being like, in the return to normal, like, we should remember that being able to zoom in is actually very helpful for some people. and the fact that the Oscar. For lots of people. Yeah, like for all sorts of people

who cannot, you know, travel. Or literally just that one guy. Just make an exception for the one guy just in case he wins the award, especially because it's the final fucking award of the night. And if he's not able to zoom in because you don't have a house,

then the whole thing just ended in the most awkward way possible because there was no one on stage that was like, it was so awkward. It ended weird, so abruptly. No end to it. So badly. It just was such a fucking fumble,

and it was the combination of, yeah, not letting him go on. The Academy being really old and out of touch, so all the old people watched the father, and I have heard no one else fucking talk about this movie, to be quite honest with you. I've heard everyone else talk about every other movie that everyone else was nominated for in that category.

So much more. But it's Olivia Coleman and Anthony Hopkins. I know, but who's talked about it. I don't know a single person who see that movie. I don't know every, Ma Rainey, Judas, all of the, these mo-nomad land i've heard a million people talking about it seeing minari all of them all of those movies people talking about i don't know one person who sees the father because exactly what you're

saying jackie yeah i just i know i will at some point but it's going to be alone i want to be very alone while i watch it so that i can sit and just be like which i don't need to cry anymore i just think about all those actors who like thought about this day for for weeks and weeks now, months and months now potentially, that sat through that incredibly long, sweaty, boring as fuck ceremony, just for it to go down like that at the end, just for literally no one appear because Atheopagus wasn't there. So like not only did, like at least if you lost to the dead guy, you could be like, all right.

Well, you know, he's amazing in the movie. He's amazing in the movie. He wasn't able to be there, but I got to like be there for this like moment. And they could have somebody. and say something. You know, they could have been like have a, you know, there could have been like a plan, you know. Or one of the other actual actors in the room could get it. Yes.

And get up and say something. Thank you on his behalf. Or how about. Or how about. Say something about, you know what he mean? His brother came out and spoke to a lot of the, like, asked the, the family was being asked a lot. Did you feel that his essence was snubbed because he did it and his performance was snubbed and his brother came out and just put out a very classy

public... I love this. Public... Statement? Statement. Then you put out a classy... What? I don't know what's going on with my...

He said a series of sentences that people read. It's a statement. It's a public statement. I had to watch my Beyonce get shots at his butt at 7 a.m. All right, we didn't even talk about that? Yeah, yeah. Her man's back went out that he got to get ass shot. and you know what, I think it's hilarious.

My brain's all over the place and I apologize. That didn't feel snubbed by it. And in fact, Chadwick Boseman was very vocal about thinking that the Oscars were like, it is a, he knows what it was. It is a, it's a game that wasn't for him. Yeah. And it was like, he's like, he knew that it had nothing to do with. Or a campaign.

He said, you know, which is true. It's all about a campaign. He never put a lot of. of like emphasis on winning an Oscar. It wasn't like a lifelong dream of his by any means. And yeah, and also I would say too, like I'm not, I don't think it's like a shitty that he didn't win. I just think that like the way they handled,

it was like just the worst. It was like a choose your own adventure for the ending of that scenario. And we got the worst ending. Like we just got the- Explain to me what the internet is a hubbub about because I just simply don't think. that I am savvy enough. I keep reading.

So apparently there was an NFT made of Chadwick Bozeman that was included in the Oscars Everyone Wins Swagbag, which is why especially so when everyone was so surprised when he didn't win.

What? I tried to look up what an NFT is and they're like, it's like a digital thing. Yeah, I knew that this... I knew it was inevitable that NFTs were going to make their way into a page seven episode.

Can you explain it to me? It's, in like a succinct way? Like, I hate that I even have to learn what it is because it's going to be, and, you know, people are going to dig up this recording when NFTs become like the biggest thing ever

and play this for me and laugh at me. But honestly, it's so annoying. I don't know. I don't understand it. To me, it's so annoying to have to learn a lot about something when you know it's going to be nothing in like two months. It's this really dumb cash grab.

It's ruining, it's all ruining the world, by the way, between cryptocurrency, and fucking M at NFTs, I'm just getting so fed up with the way people choose to make money in their lives. Is that what the doge? I hear doge. Yes, that's the dodoch coin. Okay, I know that doge is whatever. These are kind of different disparate things, but it's all essentially boiling down to like digital currency.

It's like digital currency. So what they're able to do, and I could be really fucking this up. But MJ, do you know anything about NFTs or am I explaining this to both of you? You're explaining it to, but I know what cryptocurrency is. I know what Bitcoin is. And I understand that NFTs are images, but that's where my knowledge starts and stops. It's essentially like, it's essentially like, all right, NFT stands for non-fundable token. And what it is, it's like, you know how, you know how a work, you know how a work of art, right? A work of art has a number on it.

It's signed. You know you have like this one of a kind thing. and therefore it gains worth, right? It's that but in a digital format. It is like a encrypted GIF or image or anything like that, like digital thing that has like one-of-a-kind encrypted code in it so you know you're the sole owner of it and it's just essentially a bullshitty way

to give worth to worthless things on the internet. Holden, this is the best explanation I've heard. Thank you so much. It really is. I knew that you could explain it. I'm also afraid I'm someone's going to be like, that's not what it is at all. So just know that. So just know that.

It's more than I knew what it is. Because I can't see the picture of it, but I was like, but it's a piece of artwork. It's very beautifully made. How are they giving it to everyone? That's what I didn't get. So essentially they're giving like a digital print of sorts. It's like a one of a kind work of art, but it only exists on the computer. Okay.

So they gave everyone a picture. A piece of art of Chadwick Bozeman who did not win the Oscar to everyone that got a swag bag. What I don't understand is like, yeah, is did they get like... Right? How did it exist in the swag bag? That we don't know the answer to. Was it like a mini...

Maybe it was a thumb drive or something that was in the swag bag that had the NFT in it. I'm not really sure. Also, if they all got identical the same image, did they each get like a uniquely encrypted image? Like, I don't know. the details of that, that's a little weird to me,

wishy-washy to me, but from what I understand, that is what an NFT is. So essentially, like, it's like you could take that, you know, it's essentially like, I'm the sole owner of the,

like, lightsaber kid GIF. Uh-huh. Like, I'm the sole owner of that GIF. Like, at the end of the day, I own that. Like, that's my, you know what I mean?

But, like, everybody's throwing it around to everybody, but it's like I have the actual encrypted GIF. Like, it's mine, blah blah blah and it's jiff not giff and i know you're going to say it's gif not jiff but you know what jiff jiffers out there gifers out there yeah i'm starting to wars all over i feel crazy in this episode you choose jeff choose jiff i'm a child of television now i do like the last line in this av club

letter yep i said letter letter to me he was only written to me it wasn't it's an article and it says it's a letter on the internet i don't know what those are called we don't need an explainer on those. Wrote a letter to me and the last line says at least Bozeman's NFT will keep the actor's memory alive as it collects digital dust on the hard drive of some rich guys MacBook. And that's what actually now really puts it all into your perspective. Now that's actually makes sense, right?

I mean, I just kind of did a quick search to make sure I was pretty much right. Yeah, it could be a photo, audio file. It could be any kind of digital file. that you just make uniquely like specific, you know, and then someone can buy it and own it. You know who we need to get to host the Oscars. Billy fucking Crystal. All right, city slickers.

If it ain't true. He did a great job for a long time. Wheel him in. Have him do the musical number and get it going. Because I don't even care anymore. He had some pepper on my poppy gosh, remember? Dude, I don't even care. If I think it's the corniest most like old school cat skill comedy bullshit,

get it in the show. I need, I can't, I love award shows and I cannot handle it. You really, I love how angry you are because Holden really does truly love award shows. I do, especially the Oscars. I really do, and I know it's stupid, I know that they're dumb and whatever.

But you know, there's anything wrong with that. But this is why I watch. This is why I watch. What was the ladies, I'm so bad with names? What was the lady's name who won for Minari? A Yun Yu Jung. She gets up there. She's from Korea.

She's talking about how she used to like, she's only used to seeing this on the other side of the globe. Every year she watches. Meanwhile, she's hitting on Brad Pitt, which I just look. She can't believe she's standing feet from Brad Pitt that she's on the stage accepting this award. She never thought she'd come here.

I mean, watching that speech, watching that moment for her, that's why I watch. At the end of the day, that'll never be taken from me. Academy! But you guys got to step it up in literally every other way. But that is why I watch.

watch for those people to see their dream come true to a certain degree. And I know competition, it's all bullshit, whatever. At the end of the day, it means nothing. Which is what she talks about. I love that. I love that, like, withstand the test of time. You know what I mean? Even laughably, the movies that lose are like the best movies clearly.

Well, that's the thing. Like, I was thinking about Chadwick Boseman. And I was like, well, wasn't he already snubbed for Black Panther? And I went and looked. And I was like, yeah, everyone wanted Black Panther to win in 2019. And then I just went and looked. And I was like, what did win in 2019? Great book.

So like the Oscars are just fucked. Green Book. They're just like, holy fuck. No one talks about Green Book. And, you know, obviously it's also kind of an issue movie. But yeah, no one, I forget every now and again. I'm like, oh, yeah, Green Book. Any of the family to find out if any of the information was true.

Yeah. It was actually like, it was just all. And this is an Ed Larson special. But Ed, I'm going to give you shoutouts for this. Ed was incensed for the best documentary. My Octopus Trainer won. They get up there. Guess who they don't thank MJ?

The octopus? The fucking. Octopus. Yeah. They don't think the octopus. They should have thanked the octopus. It also seems like that was not the best documentary. A lot of people were like it was definitely CripCamp or even several of the other ones

were like, it seemed like that was everybody's last choice. I would love to talk to you about CripCamp, MJ. I think it's a really amazing human rights film. It's really, really kind of incredible. Like you don't realize how a shitty it was to be a person with disabilities in this country before the 60s and even during i mean i'm not going to say it got that much better but my god i mean you couldn't go to school there were no ramps anywhere like you couldn't do it you couldn't be a citizen in the world in the country and then to see how much fucking shit we put those poor

crippled people through in order for them to get their rights they had to go on hunger strikes they're like literally just like in these lobbies of these government offices for fucking days and days. It's like pretty powerful stuff. You're right. Octopus teacher was cool. I think it's just starting to come down to, a father aside, I think it's just starting to come down to Octopus teacher was on Netflix

and not like a challenging thing to watch. Difficult thing to watch, which is also another, I like that they are including all of these apps now because it should be made that people can see the movies. Whether or not, regardless of you can afford them at the movie theater or not, it should be. It's like, if you want this stuff out, why is

just people that are in SAG or people that are in, you know, the Writers Guild or the directors guild, like, and I know that it should be just people that are part of the union or a part of the academy so that they can vote on it or whatever. But P. Oh, like, if this is going to be like America's cinematic experience that you want the country to see, shouldn't everybody get it for free? Or is that, like, I mean, I know that that would like take back, but it's like, I'd still go to the movie theaters. I'm still going to pay for movies. That's not my issue. It's not going to make the movie, like, system crumble.

Yeah, by the way, secret, secret, I'm not going to the movie theater to see Grip Camp. I'm going to wait for that one to see it at home. I'm going to go to the movie theater. I'm going to go to the movie theater. I love Kongfiz Godzilla. And then there are times when he read an article where a baby was legally named to Corn as Corn the band. All right. Can we please?

We are strutted so long. Women marry and chandeliers. We've got a child named Korn named after the band. Except their name is Kora, a beautiful name. Cora with a K, an absolutely nice, beautiful name. And that child's name is now K with a K, which is the, it really... Even though they weren't named after this animation show, Legend of Kora is actually a fantastic animated show as well.

Spinoff from Last Airbender. It's like how Twitter used to have those jokes Like change a letter, ruin a movie. It's just really change a letter, ruin a name, you know. Yeah. Ruin a child's life. Or maybe make their life much better than they could have ever thought of what could be.

Well, maybe Lady Gaga ruined a man's life. It's time for celebrity and conspiracy theory. Oh, do you believe it? Is Lady Gaga a real? murderer again? Oh my god, she was already a murderer. This one comes in from Jen Holden, Holy D, Hmaster Flex. One time I seen you a conspiracy theory in the form of a PowerPoint and you never put it on the podcast, which is whatever forever forever.

But also... This person made you a PowerPoint and you didn't use it? I don't know what it was. I'd have to go back and look. It's very possible. A lot of people send it. By the way, this is celebrity conspiracy number 50. Wow. How crazy is that shit? So that said...

Now, this is not referring to Morgana, right? Yes, but I like... Yeah, I know, I feel like I'm wavy-gravy on the Morgana thing at this point, so I... You know, Morgana was the one that is the usual conspiracy theory you hear about Lady Gaga, who was a... She was a beautiful young pop star, and Lady Gaga, was singing backup for her and knew her, and they both happened to be,

this is all in, you know, sheathed, it's veiled in conspiracy, that they were at the same party, and then Lena Morgana jumped off of the building and quote unquote, or was she pushed. And now Lady Gaga's whole persona is very similar to what Lena Morgana's was at the time. And if you watch the, like,

if you listen to Lena, Morgana's music. It is wonderful and brilliant and poppy, but I don't think that she killed her. Well, and Jin says, what if I told you that was old news in all caps? And then writes glass breaking right underneath it. I love this person.

Gin like right, Jin kind of writes email like you do, Jay. Jin also writes, buckle up, buckle up bitch, because this is a doozy. Sorry, I'm wordy in all caps. She wrote wordy at all cast. Was it me? Did I write this email?

Are you, Jinn, are you, Jackie? Welcome to Lady Gaga is a murderer part two. Say Goodbye to Lou. In 2012, many people thought Lady Gaga's 15 minutes of fame were close to ending. Although she had some hits, a lot of the general public saw her as shock value and nothing more. Her album art pop was set up to come out soon. And it was heavily inspired by the Velvet Underground. She wanted something new, something avant-garde, something people had never experienced.

She enlisted the help of Lou Reed, along with performance artist Marina Abramovic, who I saw her show at the MoMA a few years ago was awesome, to help her with the album's concepts. After being sent an early version of the song Venus, which was art pop's answer to the Velvet Underground's Venus and Furs, Lou Reed was radio silent for weeks. When Gaga's manager Troy reached out, apparently Lou said he had, quote, no further interest in the project. end quote. It said that her team tried to keep it from her as long as possible, but when word got back to Gaga one

March evening, she called Lou Reed's Staten Island home and there was yelling involved. Later on, Lou was quoted multiple times as saying her music was, quote, nauseating. There was even mention of pursuing legal action because of how heavily Gaga borrowed from the Velvet Underground. Some people claim Gaga was obsessed with

his criticisms of her, determined to prove him wrong. Lou Reed received a liver transplant in May of 2013 at the Cleveland Clinic, On his website, shortly after he said he was, quote, bigger and stronger than ever, end quote. Doctors expected him to make a full recovery, and that it was a miracle of medicine. Lou Reed died of liver failure in November 2013. Let's talk about polonium right quick.

Polonium is a rare and highly radioactive material with no stable isotopes. Polonium is poisonous and can cause lung and liver failure. It's usually used to remove static charge in textile mills, sheet plastics, and photographic plates. photographic plates. Lady Gaga had a partnership with Polaroid from 2010 to 2014, where she served as creative director prompting the iconic Kanye, quote, I like some of the Gaga songs, but what the fuck does she know about cameras? End quote. The Cleveland Clinic that had reports of suspicious activity on site in July 2013. Nothing was visibly stolen, but security footage was tampered with. Lady Gaga couldn't stand that Lou Reed hated her album that was modeled after his music.

She couldn't bear the thought of him trash talking it once it came out. She knew people had begun to think she was all antics and no substance, and that an industry veteran like Lou coming out against her could be the final nail in her kooky career coffin. Lady Gaga hired someone to sneak into the Cleveland Clinic and inject polonium in the IV bag of a healing Lou Reed. Inducing months-long liver failure in his newly implanted liver after his passing, the release of RIP was moved up three weeks, and Gaga's manager of seven years quit immediately after he refuses to speak of this time period. Lady Gaga killed Lena Morgana to start her career and she killed Lou Reed to

insurance longevity for proof. Art Pop just recently topped the charts almost 10 years after its release. It did. Thanks for reading. I love you the show. You guys are awesome. Jintra. Thank you, Jen.

Whoa. This is like a reported. That's like the treatment for a documentary right there. This is my favorite kind of celebrity conspiracy email. just went a copy a paste checked it off my list i believe it 100% i think that and i say this as a gaga stunt of sorts and um i believe it all right there you go jaggy believes i believe you know hold them no one to fold them bro yeah i believe also and i and i definitely believe it has to be both like if she killed one she definitely killed the other she'd have the blood less than i feel like it comes

and three, she's going to have to kill one final time to allow her career to die. Maybe she was trying to have her dog walker killed and it went wrong. Oh. You know? Because that was a fucked up thing. Yeah, maybe it went.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Maybe accidentally went very well for her. And now she's like, okay, maybe I don't need to kill again. Yeah, interesting. Maybe she's a serial killer. There you go. Also, if you play Lou Reed's last album backwards,

he goes, lady, I got definitely gild me he sounded like Kermit the frog. Frizzles

and mashed potatoes. Wow. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for, you know what, I do believe

but I think I also do believe that I'm ready to shout. Shout. Shout. Shout out. These are the

emails that you wrote it about. Come on. Nabao. We're gonna shout them to you. Come on. We are starting I wrote it down so I could remember it.

Yep, I'm the best. I'm the best at co-hosting ever. Obviously, you just heard how I said that. My first shout out goes out to Ben and Jessica, because it is Jessica's birthday this week. And he wrote in, he seems like a very lovely person. and Jessica, he loves you very much. He says, we found out that Jessica was pregnant

on the day we went into lockdown last year. Add to that that she had to celebrate her golden birthday in a pandemic, and just before we had our baby, her sister passed. As we celebrate her birthday again tomorrow, April 29th, she expressed to me that it would be nice to have a shout out on our favorite podcast, page seven. Her sister was her birthday buddy

having their birthdays two days apart. She would often come over on Fridays and watch Jack and ease our favorite time on Friday. And your baby corn jokes are always appreciated by us and your Twilight watchalongs are I can't miss. Hope all as well. Thanks, Ben. So happy, happy, happy, happy birthday, Jessica. And I've got a great baby corn joke for you.

It does tie in to this week's article. Happy birthday, Jessica. I was born ready for baby corn, but I couldn't handle toddler limp biscuit. Oh. Yeah. Happy birthday, Jessica. Happy birthday, Jessica. I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at Jackie. I understand. And I get why that you're upset with me. I've got another shout out, though. So you can't be upset with me for long. This goes out to the beautiful Celestina who wrote in and said, I wanted to write to you guys, since you have a lot of listeners, sometimes, I wanted to write to you guys for a long time because I know a lot of your listeners

have a lot of feelings in regards to men. health. I'm 23, a proud lesbian, and I've been struggling with mental illness since I was 12. Professionals would keep diagnosing depression and anxiety, but the meds didn't work no matter how many. We tried. It was a terrible, hopeless feeling. It felt like my mental lioness was untreatable. It made me feel like an alien. It was scary. I had months at a time not leaving my bed and feeling so worthless. I remember thinking in those times, why am I so weak? Why can't I just live the way everyone else can? At 22, I was diagnosed for the first time with ADHD. So, I was a lot of I just wanted to shout out to anyone feeling that way that your future self will thank you for hanging in there.

It's insane how much better everything has gotten since the correct diagnoses. Just wanted to shout that out and hopefully help anybody struggling with their mental health. Hang in there. And again, I love you guys endlessly. Many kisses to you, Celestina. Thank you so much for writing in. And you're right. Just hang in there.

There is more time. Things can always be worked on. Things can be talked to. You can reach out to someone, and I hope that you do. My love goes out to you very much so. Now, this is a silly one. Holden, this goes out to you. Okay.

Ooh. This comes from Shannon who brings up a beautiful point, and maybe you can't name your child, Jackie, after all. In order to pretend like I'm physically hanging out with my friends during all this time at home, I'm listening to copious amounts of roundtable of gentlemen, RIPKB. You may recall a certain New Zealand haunting. house that is so scary that you will actually piss yourself. Of course, I'm referring to spookers, the establishment you swore to name your first born

child after. Episode 229 of Roundtable. I will let Lexington know as soon as this is over. I will let Lexington. Oh, that's awesome. Please let Lexi know that Spookers McNeeley will be born in August and will be a beautiful Leo. Oh my God.

And I did want to give one more shout out to the beautiful Nick who wrote in, I love this. Because we got, it's not, it's perfect amount of hate mail about our disparaging remarks about Crocs. Uh-huh. I was told, you three are a bright spot in my day whenever I listen. I started listening to the show during a dark period of my life when I couldn't handle the content being slung by the last podcast boys. Now I listen to both shows and feel truly nestled in LPN's embrace. So you can imagine my dismay. When I heard resounding agreement to Holden's sentiment that Crocs deserve scorn on any foot they inhabit.

I'm wearing crocs right now. My girlfriend brought them for me and they've got badass lightning bolts. They got them with holes, without holes. They got them with Lightning McQueen's face from cars one, two, and three. They got them in tie-dye. They got them with flames. stomp up in the mud and hose them down. They're so easy.

MJ, I hope you reconsider your crock policy when you embark on your hot boy voyage this summer. They're a fun way to make a fashion splash, plus they've got those little plastic nibs you could put in the holes. The giblets. The giblets. But that's because I prioritize breathability.

Holden, you are my true singer-songwriter king and a beacon of T-Swift resilience in a cruel and unforgiving world. world. Jackie, you sweet bird, you angel, I wish you good luck and good tidings on your foray into shorts. Oh, what a horrible nightmare of the shorts I got in, but we don't need to talk about it right now.

I want a clock with your face in the middle. Shorts fever on the email right now. A lot of confidence about shorts. I love the shorts, Rex. And thank you so much for writing in, Nick, about our Crox dismay. And then also, we today

had another email about Someone is referred us. A beautiful Alex wrote in that we should check out flofers. And a flofers. Great. They're the same material as Crocs, but they're more stylish. They look like dress shoes and they have lots of fun colors. Maybe a good one to switch up MJ's summer footwear.

And so they asked if flofers are gross. And you know what? Straight up, I looked up flofers and I almost immediately bought a pair. I don't hate this. I don't hate this. It's just a little class. You're just not goofy. It really is like a crock, but it's not goofy and dumb.

They just look like boating shoes. I mean, it depends on how you feel about those kinds of like boat shoes, but I don't mind a fun boat shoe. And I think that these are like breathable. That's the thing. It's almost like when they invented crocs. It's like they could have made breathable like plastic shoes not look so round and cloggish and stupid.

I've always been a clogger. I hate clogs. Remember when clogs are all the rage? Clogs are back, baby. Everyone always tries to say clogs are back and they're never back. They're not back and I don't see how jingle human in the world. I feel like I becomes an old man and the lazy boy this episode. Flofers look just like Crox Holden.

You have fashion and moral inconsistency here. If you are anti-crack, you should be anti-Floufer. They are shaped better. They're less round. Yes, just the shape, fix the shape a little bit. I mean, I'd have to see them out and about, but I feel like you wouldn't look at those off in the corner of your eye and be like,

oh, those are shitty crock-like shoes. You'd be like, oh, those are boat shoes. And then you'd look closer. I think I'm gonna buy flovers. They're kind of like boat shoes. I kind of need house shoes. These might be my house shoes. I need, yeah, my problem is I need.

Are we about to be a flofer podcast? We could, we might go flow. I'll get, I'll get flofers if you guys do. I need a shoe I can wear to the children's, you know, splash pad. I need a waterproof. These are it. Yeah, these would be great for like a slip and slop.

party or whatever. Yeah. All right. I'll write to Mr. Flofer themselves and say, hey, hey, well, where, we're, oh, come on. Give us some flowfels. Come on. That's how advertising works. Yep.

It hasn't worked for me yet. But man, do I try? And, but now that we've shouted it all out, I guess it's time for the list. Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie. Gotta have that list. I'm not going to say I didn't choose the list

because right up top there is a beautiful picture of Catherine Hahn, who I would do anything. I'd wear her skin as a dress and in a fun way, like not in a kill way, like in an I love you way. Oh no, I'm just like John Travolta in that Fred Durst movie. No, but the list is 16, oops, auditions, actors just one. want to forget. I love these.

I love the name of this list. Yeah, I was like, I always wait to do these with you on this show, but with you, both of you, but I love that just the sheer subject is perfect. Marhershila Ali botched his Game of Thrones audition thanks to a lack of chairs. Ali auditioned for the role of Zaro, I don't know how to say it, Daxos, the merchant prince of course. And he had his whole audition planned out using chairs. I have had this nightmare experience before.

When in your head you're like, oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. He said, I was working with doing all these power moves and stances and whatnot. And they walk into the HBO offices and there's these two stools with no back. And then you're fucked. Like, it really is. Like, once you get locked into a performance, then you're just like, you seize up. And he's just like, but then what are you going to fucking do? Yeah, that actually is very relatable.

It's fucking Game of Thrones. You don't have a throne-like, I don't know. Care? Not game of stools, am I right? Yeah, you are right. I think I've read this one before, but I always love it, that Hugh Jackman prepared for his Wolverine audition by studying wolves because Jackman didn't know what a wolverine was.

So he added wolf-like movements and characteristics to his performance, but Brian Singer had to explain to him that Wolverines were real animals, and then it was more of a metaphorical idea when it came to the character. But you know what? I think that the wolves definitely added something to it. It's not like it was all for not. I will, if you don't mind,

I want to inject my own favorite one of these. Please inject away. One Mr. Henry Zabrowski was told he got an audition for Book of Mormon. And it was very much made out to him that it was like a general audition just to go in there and like just kind of do your thing. They're just starting to see people for this to recast one of the leads.

He walks in. It is definitely not everyone else there's first audition. They've been doing, this is like the third round of auditions. Everyone knew all of the songs. Henry knew none of the songs. He had to get up and also who was in there? Who was in that room? Oh, just Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

So he had to wing a audition of Book Foreman without knowing any of the songs. in a room full of people that were like there for their third, I think. Oh, my God. God, actor's nightmare, literally. I forgot what happened, but I believe they laughed at them. I think they said something to very, that would make you want to crawl up inside yourself. By them, I mean the Matt Soder Trey Parker,

the creators of South Park and Book. I can't even, because, like, I've even gone in when, like, I was given the wrong sides and you're walking the room and they're like, um, what are you reading? I'm like, oh, that's what I was sent. Like, that's what I was given. And then there's just nothing. Then they're like, bye, thanks for wasting our time.

Like, it's not my fault. It's a nightmare. Aditioning is a true living nightmare. The anxiety, yeah. Or like, even when you walk in and everyone's, like, wearing a thing, and you're like, I didn't get the memo on wearing the thing. You know what I mean? I just, I can't honestly, even thinking about it makes me want to throw up.

But this one makes me laugh a lot. that Tom Holland, who is just such a little beauty, botched his Star Wars audition because he couldn't stop laughing at the droid. Holland was up for the part of Finn, but it all came to an end when he had to act opposite, a woman playing a droid. And he said, so I was doing all this like, we got to get back to the ship.

And she was going, bleep, bloop, bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep, and I just couldn't stop laughing. I found it so funny. That is so charming. That's so funny. That fucking guy. He's so fucking charming, man. Why does he have to be so sweet?

He's so... It made me like watching the Spider-Man movies. Like, that's why I liked all of those with the Iron Man and everything. I'm a thousand years old. Because he's such a cute little boy. I love him so much. He's so cute. And I'm going to do one more, but I think that I am...

There are a lot more good stories on this, so I'm going to come back to this. But I always laugh because I always... Speaking of Henry. I always think about Henry whenever I think about Eddie Redmayne. Henry hates Eddie Redmayne so much. He hates everything about him. He hates the way he looks. And I was like, he just seems like such a sweet guy.

I like, I like him. He just seems like a nice person. But apparently Eddie Redmayne copied Ian Holm for his The Hobbit audition. Redmayne audition for the character of Bilbo Baggins. So he studied Holmes take on Baggins and Lord of the Rings. During his audition, the casting director immediately. interrupted him saying, no, own voice, own voice.

Wow. This is the problem. Not all casting directors or casting people are nightmares, but I feel when you hit the top level of your game, like when you are a celebrity, and you're like, they don't got fucking time. They don't have, like, you just need to be what they need you to be.

And it is, and I get it. Stakes are high, lots of monies on the line. They got to do a good job. Like, it's so stressful. But sometimes when you're a nobody, They treat you like shit. And they have all this pressure to like just get the product on tape. And so if you come in and you're like not doing what they need, sometimes that affects. I've had so many.

And please, if you're a casting director out there, please know that I'm not talking about you, but there's so many that have just been so mean to me. Especially in the commercial audition world. Because there's no joy in there. There's no joy in commercial auditions. Like at least if you're working on a cool project like fucking The Hobbit or something is, I don't know about how cool the Hobbit is. but those prequel movies are kind of shitty. But you know what I mean? If you're working on like a big feature film

and there's a bunch of cool actors involved and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's probably a very much more interesting experience that if you're, I don't know, maybe casting a fucking Downey commercial. You know what I mean? So, yeah, yeah, I get that totally. Especially commercial audition people.

I got scared for about three seconds, but then I realized you meant the, um, I was just like, Holden McFucking Neely. You meant the fabric soft. I'm just a girl waiting for her flophers over here. All right. Oh, my God.

All right. Well, I can't see. He's blind. You're blind. We can't see him. You can't see him. I think I'm going. Blind.

Blind. I don't. We can't see him. I think I've absorbed. I think I've absorbed some of your sleep. Madness. It was actually real footage of the calf being birthed in city slickers. That's why it looks so real.

Unbelievable. That's awesome, dude. Unbelievable. It's a miracle. Hello. Remember that? Spookers McNally. I can't wait to tell.

Or Spookers Robbins McNeeley or whatever it is. Yeah, Spookers Robbins McNally. All right, here we go. We got some fun ones for you. Interesting ones, funny, silly ones. Here we go. The National Fast Casual Casual. chain, fast casual, I guess they don't call it fast food, whatever.

National food chain will do anything to keep its inflated stock price at its peak. The CEO and other executives have a big bonus headed their way if it stays at its current level. This is probably why there's a massive cover-up going on about the number of people worldwide who've got sick from the chain's food over the past few weeks. After all of their past troubles, the stock would crater and the bonuses would go buy-bye. Give us a hint. Restaurant.

It's like all, it's like slightly fancier fast food. Applebee. Applebee. No. It's like an obvious. No, it's not, you go, you can go sit down and eat there,

but that's why it's like, it's less of a restaurant and it's like more like fast food. Yes. Oh no, Holden, it's your store. It's like Albertsons. This is what I have to,

well, first of all, it's at an all time high. Second of all, I thought the whole idea was we make ourselves sick. We give ourselves diarrhea when we go. Like, You always get sick regardless so you wouldn't even notice a difference.

I shit my brains out. I would say like a sick person would when I go there. And I thought that was the point. So I think that maybe this blind item is being stupid because I think the whole point is that we make ourselves sick and that's why we go. What are you eating at Chapoil?

Whenever you talk about how you get violent diarrhea every time you eat at Chipotle, I've never gotten violent diarrhea after eating at Chipotle. I get a burrito. I don't always get violent diarrhea, but sometimes sometimes. It's a nice, you know, I'll clean you out. All right, I get a burrito.

Right, let's start there. I get a burrito. I get white rice, no beans. No beans. No beans. He doesn't get beans on. I get white rice, fajita, that's the onions and peppers. I get steak.

I get sour cream. And if you go to Chipotle with Holden, he will explain to you his order a couple of times as you walk up to the line. Pico de Gallo, which is the, they call it mild, but it's Pico de Gaio. Mild. I get medium and I get a side of hot. And I think the hot, I think that side of hot is where those runs come in.

But we'll get to that in second. Such amazing Mexican food in L.A. Sour cream cheese. This is not Mexican food. This is Chiple. Sour cream cheese and a little. You are right. You're right.

A little bit of lettuce. I get a bag of chips for the side of hot. That's why I dip the hot into the hot. And a Coke. I have to get a Coke. It's the only time I have it. I know, right? It's the only, I might get it later

because I'm going to walk by it later. I'm going to get, and I get, And I get, for some reason, like, the only time I get a Coke, a nice juice, like from that fountain or a Mexican Coke, depending on how I'm feeling, because they have both at Chipotle. And it's always the best. It goes, anyway, so, yeah, and yeah, and then I shit. My fucking, I make sure I have no plans. I make sure I have no plans for the rest of the day. And I'm by a toilet, a comfortable toilet.

And there it is. But CNBC reported that Chipotle's first quarter earnings topped Wall Street's estimates and feel their addition of cassidias and cauliflower rice. is the reason why. Also, dude, cauliflower rice smells like fucking farts. It does smell like farts, but it's really delicious.

It does kind of smell. What kind of a line item is this, Holden? This is just a totally item. You're yelling at me about my baby corn, and then you're yelling at me about a British woman

marrying a chandelier. It is barely a pop culture podcast. This point is just literally three people screaming. Jack Palance won the Oscar for City Slickers. Really? Like, Jack Pabland.

Here we go. Oh, you will be put. O way in whatever, jail. Until your eyes seep out of your face. He's like, what is this sandwich? Is this just like two piece of bread and one slice of dried ham? And it's like, yeah, it's a chat, Jack Leblank sandwich. What?

You don't even Blank. What's his name? Palanche. Palance. You just merged the actor Matt. I never bought. Balance, Palance. From Joey from Friends.

Matt LeBlanc by the name. That's what is. If you're going to call him a dry ham, I guess. He's a bit of a dry ham. I'll say Matt LeBlanc, he's a bit of a dry ham. I'm sorry, I just threw this so hard off the rails, and I'm going to try to bring it back. This streaming giant already purchased one iconic property in this complex.

It's like what you do after you leave Chipotle, right? Streaming Giant. Oh, my God. Their plan prior to the Oscars this year was to purchase the movie theater, everyone knows, the naming rights of the Oscars venue, change the name of the rock cafe to their own name and rename the entire complex

blank land and a throwback to the days of Hollywood land. They even want either a Ferris wheel or a roller coaster, they will have this done by the next Oscars. First thing about the movie theaters that shut down recently that made big news, Jackie.

This is a Hollywood thing. Yeah, everyone was so sad. That movie theater closed. Everyone was like, oh, I saw this there. Oh, the one, the big one. It's got the, it's got the, it's got the dome. Yeah, it's like, um, the McDonald's. Arch.

Arches. So it's, and there's a bright shining light. Arch light. Yes. Yes. Arc light. It's the arc light theater. Thank you.

God damn, Jackie. You need to get a nap. Bro. I need a fucking nap. I'm running on two hours of sleep. And after honestly, quarantine, I can't. I can't run in two hours of sleep anymore. I'm just like, I am fading.

My brain isn't working. Who's the streaming giant? It's not fucking crackle. It's you with your butt. Netflix. No. Yes. Netflix land. They're going to take over that whole block of...

What? Yeah, that's what this blind item is saying. The rap recently put out an article with the headline, Hollywood Desperate for someone to save Arklight Theater. Netflix, you know what to do. Pacific Theaters recently announced the permanent closure of the Arklight Cinema's and Pacific Theater's location. So to repeat, Netflix's plan is prior to the Oscars this year was to purchase the movie theater.

Everyone knows the naming rights to the Oscars venue, change the name of the Rock Cafe to their own name, and rename the whole thing Netflix land. Wow. That's yucky. That is yucky. That's like really yucky. Yeah, but I don't believe a lot of these blinds. I definitely believe this motherfucking blind. You better believe it too.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's dystopic. That's like too futuristic. I know. It's so going to happen. You know Netflix is going to buy Arclight.

Honestly, we do need these theaters to survive in some capacity. So I do hope somebody swoops in. Arclight's like too, it's almost like too important to fail. Like someone's going to come in and snap those theaters up, I think. Because they're just such foundational structures to this town, right? Is that a sentence? That's a sentence. That is a sentence.

I'm fine. Shit my brains out later. Streaming giant. This might be, this is the last one, this might be the first time I've heard something negative about the former A-list singer-turned talk show host. Apparently, she was really upset. They moved her night job to a different soundstage

because it was further away from her day soundstage than she likes. Kelly Clarkson. Formerers. Yeah, I can't believe you, Kelly. I can't believe how upset you got that they moved your night job to a different sound stage and they're mad about it. Because she does the voice and the Kelly Clarkson show. How dare you, Kelly?

You demon. Yeah, but that's a lot. That is a lot of work. Like, it's like, that's a lot of work. Especially if you're going, because you've got to put out an episode every day for both shows. I like at least they admit that this is like,

A, the first, I love that it's the first time they've heard something negative about this person. And that it's this. Yeah. This is not negative. This is being annoyed that your workplace got fucking moved. Which is completely understandable. You have got little kids.

You're a single parent. Like, it's like, that's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a weird, this was a fun, weird set of blinds this week.

So I hope you enjoyed them too. And I can see again, and I'm so thrilled about it. Welcome back. So hungry for Chipotle for some reason. I wonder why. Oh, my God. I am dying for some poets, actually.

I literally going to walk by one later, and I literally will probably be getting it to eat. And I'm running home. I don't think it's a good idea. But that's okay. You know? you gotta clean it out the system sometimes. And I hope that this episode didn't immediately make you clean out your system.

Unless that's something that you need in your life. And yeah, page seven is the colonic that you asked for. You're welcome. City Slickers holds up. There are a couple of jokes in there that will make you wins, but not as many as I thought. That is something. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. It's not as bad as waiting.

I'll tell you what. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this weird episode. You know what? Oscars were weird. Oscars were weird to the show. This has to be weird. Yeah.

We're in a transitory place in our brains. And, you know, I'm excited about it. Happy Torah season. Did you see all of the... Watching Lizzo celebrate her birthday made me want to cry. I want to be friends with her so badly. But yeah, I could have talked about that instead of talking about city slickers, but I didn't. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm and come over and hear me scream further about Twilight because I know that you're interested.

Come join Jackie's book club over on patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Hell yeah. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast page the number seven podcast at gmail.com. You guys. So, I mean, you're really giving us so much of a wealth of material for this show now. and not just the kind words of support, which we always appreciate on and off show. But yeah, thank you again for all those emails. Keep them coming in.

And also, Twitch.tv.TV forward slash holdenators ho. Monday, Tuesday, Fridays. We're streaming. Jackanese is on Friday. It's always a blast. It's always a party. April Reels, man. We got through it.

And we live to tell the tale. And now we're just partying. Twitch.tv. 4.S. Holdenators ho. M.J. My name is MJ and I'm MJ K. K-L-Kat on Insta. You can follow my sandals and shorts

journey, and I love you guys. I'm so excited to hear more about it. We love you guys so much. We'll talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.