Page 7 - Ep. 409: The ANGRY Episode

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

This week WE'RE YELLIN' bout the release of Bill Cosby, the Tour de France sign lady, the response to Lil Nas X's big BET awards kiss (including Madonna's ultra yucky response), but in non-angry news we discuss Britney Spears FINALLY getting to talk about her conservatorship! And in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Andrew WK is several people/a brand/DOESN’T EXIST?!?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

But y'all better buckle up for an angry episode today. If I want to take a guy home with me tonight, it's not your business. If she want to be a freaking get it on the weekend, it's not your business. I woke up listening to Salt and Pepper today and I'm feeling Salton Pepper today. And I think it's more importantly because I needed Salt and Pepper today because they woke up in the first thing I saw on my telephone screen, I know I shouldn't look at it right when I woke up. I know it doesn't. I know I wake up.

Who does? You know, wake up. In the same way that the phone screen keeps you awake at night, it's perfect for like easing you into the day. Yeah. It gets you up. And the first thing I saw,

Bill Cosby, released from prison. And I was like, what is that? I woke up with such anger. I was so angry. I'm so angry. I'm so angry.

I always get the news, of course, some reaction, bad joke made by like, three different comics before I go, oh, wait, right? It has to be three different separate tweets making some bad joke take on the thing. And then I go, oh, fuck. And then this is real. This is real.

And they click over to it. But, you know, guys, come on. He's just the most prolific serial rapist of all time, potentially. I, I, set free. I'm not the world. I don't. I came on when we first jumped onto our Zoom. and I went, MJ, can you explain it?

And you immediately. MJ had no idea. And then Jackie hadn't heard about the sign lady at the Tour de France. With the Door to France, I didn't even hear about that. And then you look up right now, if you haven't looked this up, my mind was immediately blown of just put in Tour de France crash. And it is everywhere right now of this idiot that put a sign to say, Hey, grandma, in front of the tort of fours.

And like what? Torto france. It was a tortupt bitch is what it is. She's a tortoise. And I'm not taking the tour. And I'm not taking the ride. I'm angry at you. You ruined so many people's lives.

That woman is essentially a metaphor. The woman is the American judicial system. The sign is Bill Cosby. And the bikers are the American people. And I will not stand this to be longer. And the victim. I mean, even more so, yeah. It's insane because essentially, long story short, because I'm not a lawyerist.

It turns out I'm not either. Backwards in many, many ways. I took a close reading and I took a stab at it, but I am not able to explain the legal procedure here. Jackie, I just pitched and got the green light for a modern day reality legally blonde show. Perfect. Where we send a Jackie to law school. Okay. And she must wrestle her way as a rag-tag bit.

through the legal system. And I'll say, let me in. And I'll start all of my proceedings with the song, and that's going to be great, and I'm going to be such a sexy lawyer. Yes. And it'll be called sexy Jackie DDS.

What's a lawyer called? Esquire. Yes, she's doing Shelt today. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she's doing it board this way today. This should be a good trial day. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my opening statement.

In the words of salt. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Is that the bill caused me trial. You know, there is such a little justice to be found in our system. And I think that the way that we solve that problem is by sending Jackie in. I'm ready. Put me in coach.

I'm ready to play. And I'm ready to, I'm going to put that bill caused me back in jail. And then after all of that, after the Cosby and the sign lady, I mean, the sign lady and turning yourself in today was actually kind of good news in a way. After all that, let the black guy kiss the other guy on stage. Can we just, can he just have a moment of delights? Buncha. Racist homophobes out here, mad at the most heroic man in pop culture, in my opinion.

I am, talk about looking at the screen and being mad. I was just looking at my computer this morning and just seething at the amount of people who are criticizing Lil Nas X for kissing a man on stage at the BET Awards during his performance. And all of these people begin their statements by being like, listen, I'm pro-LGBQ. But it's just too much. I'm pro your sexuality, but you're going to kiss? This is some 2009 ass shit. Right? That was the whole, do you guys remember when we were in high school and college and it was like,

oh, no, no, I have nothing against gay people. I just don't want to see it. Like, I thought that that was, I thought that we were past that. And Lil Nas X being like, I am gay and I have a sexuality and I'm going to perform showcasing my sexuality, just like many pop artists do. And he's getting shit on all over. Oh, my God. These two tweets that he wrote out that says,

we are four months in and people are still acting surprise that I'm being gay and sexual and performances of a song about gay and sexual shit. And then he said, like, the song is literally about gay sex. What y'all want me to do? Play the piano while bacon. This is the thing. And then he also, though, gets so vulnerable here,

which you don't see a lot of this, I feel like, from Lil Nasax. He's so good to work in that Twitter. It took me a lot of time to mentally prepare for this performance. While on stage, I was trembling knowing that I was performing something like that in front of my straight peers. Even during the performance, I was having a hard time calming my nerves. Thank you guys for the love. Yeah.

And he had another tweet I'm going to try to find, but when somebody said, you know, somebody tweeted at him, you're insecure about your sexuality. And so you're overdoing it. And he responded, you're right, I'm insecure about my sexuality. I still have a long way to go. I've never denied that. When you're conditioned by society to hate yourself your entire life, it takes a lot of unlearning, which is exactly why I do what I do. That just gives me shiver. He's so good.

Thank you, Lil Nasax. Yeah, he's so self-actualized. It's true. Crazy. He's doing this with a, he knows what he's doing. He knows why he's doing it. And it's so condescending for all these people to be like, oh, he's just crazy. He's just like so young and gay.

He can't like rein it in. No, he knows exactly what he's doing. He's showing young queer people that it's okay and that you can love yourself. Like, he's being so purposeful in what he's doing. I will say too, though, you know, I think a big part of it is that it, was at the BET Awards and I love that it was at the BET Awards. And I think that there is definitely a lot of homophobia, I think, going on in that situation. And so it was, it's funny how we often joke about being brave these days. And, you know,

but I was watching that performance. I literally thought about it. I was like, this dude is fucking brave. Yeah. This is no other way to put it. Like, this is some really, and it's so sad that that that is bravery that, like, beautiful display of, like, synchronized. dancing. And kissing whoever the fuck you want to kiss that that has to be, that that still is. And especially on television, especially to the greater public.

And that sucks. I feel so bad that Lil Nasex does so much work. And even the fact that we've watched him, he went from saying that like, I didn't even think that I was going to be openly out. Yeah. You know, but back with Old Town Road and when he first

came out of thinking like, I've always been scared. Yeah. I'm still scared. And being open about how scared he is and how we should feel disgusted with ourselves as a country that he is scared for his life because he kisses who he wants to kiss on stage. Yeah. And like this is, you know, a lot of the hate that he was getting was like, oh, you know,

you're such a kid icon. And I know we talked about this when, when call me by your name first came out. But it's like, oh, you know, you made Old Town Road and kids loved it. So now you can't be like a sexual gay man because like kids loved Old Town Road. And it's like, okay, again, first of all, he's doing this for queer youth. Like it's queer youth need somebody like Lil Nas X. Young people in general need somebody like Lil Nas X. But he had a great reply to that too.

He was like, why are you letting your little kids watch the BET Awards at 8 o'clock at night? Watch coconut. Like, you know, he's like, it's not my fault that you're letting down. Like, yeah, if you don't want your little tiny kids to see me kiss somebody, then they shouldn't be watching BET Awards or any award show because, yeah, of course, people always kiss at an award show on stage.

There's a great, rich tradition of it. Oh, and then the Madonna thing. Yeah, the Madonna thing. Can we also just say how great the performance was? I know. Like, overall, the performance was absolutely amazing and also how hot the kiss was. But yes, we have to talk about the Madonna.

I just remembered it. It's so great. And then, like, the third thing I read this morning after, you know, getting pissed off about Bill Cosby, reading through little Nazak stuff. And then Madonna. Oh, Madonna. Oh, thank God.

We were all like, what does Madonna have to say about this? When we all remember the queer-baiting performance that Madonna and Britney Spears had at the 2003 VMAs when they kissed each other and the world went crazy. They couldn't believe it. Like, oh, my God, a woman kissing a woman. But, and now that we are, we see the difference of what she did is that she took a picture of her kissing Britney Spears,

posted the picture of Lil Nasax kissing his dancer, and then said, just hashtag did it first. Unbelievable. Fuck off, Madonna. What the fuck are you talking about, Madonna? What are you talking about? Oh, you mean, oh, yeah, it's exactly the same as two heterosexual women on stage that are not queer,

kissing each other to get people to talk about it. and an openly queer person that kisses another person on stage when his entire vibe is representation for the youth so that they weren't as scared as he was growing up. You're right, exactly. Thanks, Madonna. The idea that... Thank you.

Madonna, I mean, yeah, it was controversial, but the idea that that was like, I don't know, what year was it again, Jackie? It was... 2003. It was the same year that at high school parties we were trying to get girls to do that exact thing so that we could cheer. Is it brave to do the thing that is like explicitly stated to be like absolutely beloved by straight men?

Like is that brave? I don't think. You're like a sex icon and you kiss another sex icon in a way that everybody loves and talks about all the time. Who's in a prison of her own family's making by the way now, Madonna? No speaking out about that. We'll get to that. Yeah, advocate for Britney. about that is wild a day

in the angry episode Madonna. And while we're angry and before we move on from Lil Nas X and while we're talking about the aughts, we should also shout out that this same shit happened to Adam Lambert in 2009

when he kissed a guy on stage during a performance and immediately afterwards like backstage the interviewer was like you know a lot of people aren't going to be able to handle that, right? And he went on

I think it was Good Morning America and did a segment where he was asked about it and they were like, well, do you, you know, why do you think that you're being treated differently? There was this huge, huge backlash. And they said, is it because you're a man or is it because you're gay? And he was like, well, it's both. I'm a gay man.

And that's nobody, you know, it's because I'm a gay man who kissed a man. That's why it's different. And in the segment, in the produced segment, they showed a clip of Britney and Madonna kissing. And then to like compare it. And then they showed a clip of the clip of Adam Lambert kissing the guy. but they blurred it out. They blurred it out. And he said, you just proved my point.

Why didn't you blur out Britney and Madonna? Yeah. But it's too vulgar. It's so vulgar you have to blur it out that I kissed another guy. Can you imagine? It's insane because this is exactly what we were talking about this on the show I do over on my Twitch channel. Oh no, it's Jackie last night. But we were talking about the idea of queer beating and how it's okay when it is in the guys for the...

straight males. Yes, the male gaze, right. Once it's for the male gaze, then it's completely acceptable and fine because that's where you differentiate between queer baiting, because we were specifically talking about queer baiting last night and not queer baiting essentially.

And that that is a big, a large part of it, of doing it for the sake to sell something, to promote something in a way that isn't who you actually are. And then on top of this, someone wrote this about Madonna, this is a tweet. the woman who quite literally stole slash whitewashed,

a big element of black queer culture, made a ton of money off with Vogue. Yeah. And has been heavily criticized for it is flexing on a 22-year-old emerging black queer artist to be recognized for a same-sex kiss when she's straight. Yeah.

And that really does encapsulate it. That's it. We're talking about this over the RuPaul's Drag Race episode as well. of like the vogueing is not for Madonna. Madonna stole that from ball culture and stole it from a culture that wasn't hers and made a bunch of money off it. I got yelling to do that Madonna today

and I didn't even know that it was inside of me. So is that Madonna pop history? Is it just going to be like, I don't even know if we can do it? I don't know if I don't know. It's going to take me a while before I can do it. It's interesting in hindsight how these things pan out because she was beloved. And now you are a reviler of her, Jackie.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm a reviler. I'm a reviler. I don't know if I ever did beloved Madonna, though. Oh, okay. I think that she was just before my- You didn't have the lacy gloves and the... No, she was a little before my dying.

I think Jet X revile, nope, the other one, reveals. Revere's. Revere. Uh-oh, ding-dong, ding-dong. Jack-off corner is the things we used to jerk off to, but I will say. I feel like it has to have like a catch, like a theme song at this point, right? Oh yeah, of course.

We get into nostalgic things and I'm just like, oh yeah, well, I definitely really liked her in a certain sense in a certain music video. And that would be the Bullfighter music video where she was in the lingerie. I remember I had a bit of a personal rendezvous, let's say, with the parts within my pants because of that music video.

Can you not watch any like running of the Bulls videos without going like, Don't even get me started on city slickers. I can't many times before we even got to Curley's goal. That's why you won't watch it. You're too hard for it. No, I'm more of a water world, guys. Don't you dare bring up Waterworld?

Oh my God, MJ. Jeff forced me to watch Waterworld over the weekend. I'm sorry, Jeff. That's not. I encourage it because I was like, I think I hate Waterworld. Yeah, wasn't it like a weird insight joke between the two of you? No, it's me. Why did you watch?

Let's be real. Why? Is it because it? the heat wave? Is that a good, it's a good summer movie? Like, why Waterworld? We were talking about it,

and I said, I was like, I, I'm taking a stand here. I don't like Kevin Costner. I think that he is a cardboard person. I don't understand, even in bodyguard, we all know, we didn't watch the bodyguard for him.

How dare you? Holden watched it for him. I watched it for him. You watch it for Costco? Come on. Tin cup. I can't. I can't get a board.

That's a great one. And I am a person that can find something sexually appealing in almost anyone. And Kevin Kosteram was just like, he's just nothing to me. And I apologize if you are a Kostneriac and I apologize.

But Waterworld sucks. Yeah, bro. And it's so long. Isn't it famously like the worst movie ever made? No, it just, well, and at least famously lost like so much money at the box office. It's so bad.

It was like the most expensive bomb, I think ever. I remember seeing it when it came out, which was in 1995, so I definitely was too young. I saw in the theater, woo, woo, woo! And so not, which, and I remember thinking, it was so long, I had no idea what was going on. I was like, let me see. I just wanted to, we do the, like, at least like once every other week, we do it, does this hold up evening in our home?

So we watch Waterworld, and, um, it's just so long. It's so bad. It's so bad. And it starts, so, I love how it starts to them, like, drinking his own piss, which is the metaphor for, like, the whole movie. opening scene is him drinking his own piss. Like you drink, or at least as the viewer, you kind of drink your own piss by watching Waterworld and expecting better results.

The one thing I remember about that movie was my movie theater experience because I went with one of those friends that in hindsight you're like, why was I hanging out with that guy? Or I think after this day, I stopped hanging out with the guy. Every time something action-packed

would happen in the movie, at full blast, he would go, woo-hoo! And I'm sitting there and I'm like, every time he does it, I'm mortified, I'm looking around like. It's like a great guy to see Watermore.

Actually, it is kind of great because we did scream through it. Right. I wish I had been more accepting of his behavior and just went along with it because in hindsight he was definitely having a lot more fun than me. I was so, my mother at that point had instilled social terror in me. As she should. Yeah. Good.

So I was mortified the all time. Dude, every time. Like that movie has a lot of like things happening in it action-wise. Like every time a jet ski would go over a jump, shall we say, it was, ooh. Oh, did he do it every time Kevin Costner hits a woman or hits a child? Because if he did, man, he wouldn't stop wooing through the movie. Really?

There's a lot of domestic abuse. Yeah, it's very weird. The whole plot of it. And he, so he has, like, they're all after this one little girl, because I didn't remember anything. Yeah. So I jumped back into Waterworld blind. And I was like, all right, I'm going to give this the business. And so he's got this like woman and little girl that he doesn't want on the ship.

Right, yeah. So he just keeps like hitting him in the finish. And I was just like, whoa, wise does he keep doing that? Just get him off the ship. And then, spoiler alert for Waterboro. A big spoiler alert. Everyone take your time. Pause the podcast.

She keeps trying to stup them. the adult keeps trying to stup him, even though he's so mean to her. And then later on, he's like, all right, I'll stup you on the top of this boat. And then he just kind of like, fucks her on the top of this burning boat. And all I could think of,

which is what you're not supposed to think of, is how bad do they smell? Right. And this is something that always, I think, comes up in my brain with this kind of shit, where I'm like, so he hits you. He hits the kid that you're with, and then you bang him on a burning boat.

have some dignity All right please, Jackie you've done that That was an okay Cuban date easy I may have if I Oh if a man took me on a boat Are you kidding me? Yeah exactly

He could hit anybody You can literally Hit your mother in front of you Be like there you want Oh well Oh Jackie maybe But we've got I have other yelling to do

Besides just water world Because last week When we recorded Right after Yeah Right after we finished recording Rough time Crazy

Everything came out with Britney Spears And to a point that I almost called y'all back and be like, we have to do the episode again. I got home that Wednesday night, and I was like, everyone is, I assume, like, everyone is going to be like, they must have recorded this beforehand,

but I was like, or everyone's going to be like, why did you not talk about the biggest story on earth that you are, that you two are specifically experts to talk about? We, okay, full disclosure, I am best friends with Jamie Spears. Oh my God, ew. He's actually a really great guy. We go on poker and hunting retreats. Yeah, poker. I don't even know.

And I'm best friends. Jamie Lynn Spear. Oh my God. Who am I friends with Sam Ingram? I'm like, I'm getting in on the inside. I get the real scoop. Very upsetting. Talk about yelling.

This is the thing. So if you live under, I know that you probably have seen at this point because it's been six days that Britney Spears openly testified in court about what she has been going through and is finally able to speak towards what she's been going through.

And I want to do the like, yeah, girl, fucking get him. Yeah, tell them all. The horrible things that she's had to go through, that she even is not even allowed to take out her IUD to have a child. She's not allowed, you know, it's the things that we all knew about, and she's confirming all of them. But the biggest, scariest part is that there's really not a lot she can do about it fast. Essentially, I was reading through this article that was like, okay, well, now what's really, according to, lawyers and judges like, what is next? What is most likely what's going to happen?

Is it either, and I think that this happens today, is it either the conservatorship says, you're right, we've been doing these things, you know what, you can go. Or they're going to contest it, which, of course, they're going to contest it. So what it seems like what's going to happen is that she's going to have to start

a very long trial process now to try to undo these things. And, oh. The part that really frustrates me in reading about it, and I mean, obviously, I don't know the dirty details,

but, like, you have Brittany's father's lawyer talking for him and saying, like, how much he did this out of a concern for her and how much he cares about her. But then it's like, I also hear Britney Spears being like,

I don't know how to, like, do the most basic shit. Like, I don't know how to, like, write a check or like, you know, pay my bills. And it's like, bro, if you really gave a fuck about your daughter, wouldn't you sit down with her and teach her fucking basic life skills enough so that she could take care of herself?

I don't buy any of that for a fucking second. Of course, it's a way of abusing her and controlling her to deny. This is like you hear about back in the 50s. There's a conservation power alert coming on my phone. Sorry. Oh, no, because of the heat weight? Whoa. Shut up.

Wait, how bad is the heat wave in New York? It's bad, but I didn't think it was that bad. Whoa. I guess it is. But yeah, I mean, you hear about, you know, I feel like it's pretty common to hear, like, women from previous generations being, like, you know, my husband would give me a cash allowance and never let me learn how to use the checkbook. Yeah, my grandmother wasn't allowed to wear pants, you know, it's like, there is, but

she is a young woman in, like, she is not incapacitated in the way. that he said that she was, that his doctors have been saying that she was, that, like, her father, and I think that we just need to, like, re-release the pop history episodes. Like, it's insane. Yeah. Because honestly, yeah, having, like, Brooklyn McKinsey

to really talk about the dirty details of all of this stuff is important. I mean, I'll tell you, my grandmother wasn't allowed to walk on her feet after 9 p.m. had to walk on her hands. Oh, my God, but I bet the delts, what are they, what's back there? She literally, one time I was like, can you, actually pull one of my legs off because I ate my leg. Pulled it right off of me. Ripped it right off my body with her big arms.

Good for her. Yeah. Get up. Yeah. Fuck that leg. But this, I'm curious if you guys, because I know something you guys have said before is that like some of the like,

uh, like the free Britney activism and stuff that, that you felt like a little bit unsure about it because it felt like it was also people speaking for her. She had had these Instagram posts where she was like, don't speak for me. But then when she spoke at the, when she spoke last week in court,

she was basically like, I haven't been able to actually say, but that I feel like I don't, I mean, that she's a prisoner. Finally. I mean, that she's, you know, she can't even get an IUD at. It's like torture.

And so I'm curious to hear what your guys' thoughts, if it changes what you guys talked about on the pop history in terms of like, you know, in terms of the kind of battle to speak for Britney. Because she also said that after the documentary, that she was like, everybody's speaking for me.

And I'm not speaking, you know. Yeah, I mean, we even acknowledged how, like, us even doing the podcast in and of itself at to some degree is kind of not great. You know what I mean? It's kind of a weird situation because you don't want to add fuel to that fire. But I do think that at least debunks. But we also weren't the ones, like, overtaking her Zoom trials. Yeah. Or asking people to interfere.

And that kind of, and, like, yes, scaring her when she had to go into a trial. I feel that there is a difference. Right. At least between the people that. And I understand. why they did it. They were there to show support. But she openly, like, couldn't handle it because that's a lot.

Right. But I think at least it does debunk any kind of myth of people being like, maybe she likes it. Yeah. Maybe she wants it. Right. And so I do, it is up to her to really get this for herself. And I mean, isn't that the whole message of the story at the end of the day?

If this is a movie, isn't the whole point that it's up to her to really. It just sucks like she already is lacking so many basic, like, life. abilities because of the way she's been handled. Which is why she does, it does seem she wants a conservator, just not her father. Just something, yeah, something helping her, yeah, go on. But, but, uh, still though, I don't think she, I think she had, she's got this guy, this guy. I don't know the details about this guy, but they seem to be good together. She's like one of the only people that's allowed to be with her without a chaperone,

just to give you an, like an understanding of how fucking crazy that is. Are you talking about Sam Azgari, her boyfriend? Is that her boyfriend, right? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Maybe they could just, like, go get old together? Is that a possibility? Like, is this guy have bad intentions?

It seems like if everyone's cool with him being with her, then that's not the case. Like, I just, she's clearly not going to shave her head and have a mental break. I don't think, you know, if you just say, hey, you can take your IUD out and, like, have basic rights about your body. But it's complete control. Her father wants complete control over her body and everything. that she does. Yeah. And it's,

and even just the fact that in that testimony, her talking about like, yeah, and he would just like, feed me a bunch of drugs and force me to perform. Right. And then this is the same person

that's telling you, you can't have your IUD out. I miss the part, I miss the part where she said she does want some kind of conservator in place. She actually said that. Yeah, that's what she was talking about that, like, that,

what you were just saying about, like, not knowing how to write a check and not knowing how to do those things of like, she needs to be taught again. And I also imagine, like, I know that she says the conservatorship is doing me more harm than good. I deserve to have a life. And she wants to have a life.

But I don't think you can have a conservatorship. I don't know that much about it. I don't think you can have a conservatorship with having any control over your life. If I remember correctly from what McKenzie was telling us about conservatorships is that, like, it's usually for people that, like, are mentally incapacitated. or in a coma or just so old and like with a like a mental deterioration that they can't make these decisions for themselves. So I think that it's like it's almost as if it seems that she wants something in between, but I don't know how you can get something in between. If you're rich, don't you just hire financial people to do shit for you? Yeah.

And yeah, ultimately, right, if you're, then you're in your, you have to make decisions and stuff. But I mean, right, that my understanding is that conservatorship, at least I've seen a lot of disability rights activists saying like this is some this this whole legal thing is something that should be looked at and like there are many many many more cases that aren't like Britney's but where where you know this is being used to control people and like the intersection of you know of where this hits with like disability rights stuff but it certainly seems like she right like if you if you're like oh I don't know how to do financial stuff like probably a lot of rich people don't know who've been famous since they were young. young don't know how to do financial stuff. You just pay people to do it for you, right? Right. Or can't you not just pay somebody to teach you if you really want to learn all that stuff? And that's the thing.

But to me, that's always the crazy thing to me is I'm like, she's not like incapacitated. Right. Like she seems like, you know, if she could learn those intricate fucking dance routines and, you know, a full two-hour show and like record like amazing, you know, go into the studio to be this workaholic in the studio. I'm pretty sure she'd learn this shit in like three, months. Like, what's the problem here? Right. I don't get that part of it

at all, to be honest. I will also say, I'm pretty sure McKenzie would want me to say, as I saw her going off on this on Instagram, that conservatorships are also important, and that for a lot of situations, they are things that are important that we need in a lot of situations.

This is just an example of a really bad one of them. And it's specifically, right, so that, like, people don't get taken advantage of, right? Yes, and just when people just go completely off the rails, like, to have people come in and, like, protect them from a lot of crazy shit going down. You know what I mean? If you have, like, if you have, like, a complete another, like, mental break and you are absolutely out of your mind and you have millions of

dollars, some really fucked up shit can go down. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, so I think a lot of times this people literally, for people going through dementia at the end of their life, and they're doing crazy shit. And so it's people swooping in and making sure they don't just like spend the, you know, all of their money on like the slots or something like that. You know what I mean? There's a lot of reasons why they're very important. But there are obviously some issues that we're seeing. This is a great example of issues with conservatorships. Also, you were completely right. She was in, she claimed, I remember the, I looked, I'm looking back through it now and that she was in denial.

She said, I was in denial when I said that I wanted the conservatorship to continue on. She does completely want it to end. Totally in. I was wrong. That makes sense. How old is she?

She's a grown woman. She's not, she is not out of her, without her senses. It's very obvious. And again, if she's able to perform a full two-hour fucking Vegas review with all this intricate choreography, all of the, come on.

She's not out of her, you know, out of her mind. Especially if we're, I haven't seen, I wish I could see video of her saying this stuff, but just reading the quotes seems to me like she's within her senses. Absolutely. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It's like incredibly powerful moving testimony that is, yeah, there's just no, there, the idea that she needs people to control everything about her body and her finances because she had, you know. Two decades ago.

Yeah, two decades ago, she had a mental break. high profile, you know, mental crisis. And it was largely due to the constant harassment she received every single day of her life from mostly paparazzi, but fans as well as dirty pieces of shit. Right. They were, you know, getting involved in her life and her finances and stuff. I mean, it was like, like we said, we broke it all down in those episodes. I mean, even like, I'd do that, I'd shave my fucking head if I was being chased around everywhere.

You know what I mean? Like, everywhere I went and screamed at. and my house was being staked out, I'd go fucking crazy. Yeah. And I know that, it's funny, I know that there was,

like, a lot happening with her at her own mental health at that time, I do think that it's funny that the shorthand for, she's gone the craziest she could possibly go. She shaved her head.

Only as a psychopath would do that. I mean, remember how insane that is why it's so funny, Perez Hilton's out here being like, uh, I kind of walk some of that horrific abuse that I dealt out to every celebrity during that time period.

I'm walking it back now that it's not cool anymore because it's like dude you guys were like whoa look at brittany she's crazy with the camera like zooming in on her from outside of the barber shop and it's just like it's just fuck you dude fuck that guy fuck tmz dude i know we're like whatever we're sort of a version of all that kind of shit but we fucking have respect for these fuckers and i don't give a fuck about shit i you know what the most egregious thing about perez held in tmz by the way is that they all think they're funny. I think that's the most egregious thing about those fucking piece of shit. And those, that TV show, the way they'd all sit around in the bullpen on that TMZ show

with those smirks on their faces and just lay out the worst, shittiest fucking one-liners I've ever heard in my life and all laugh about it. And they're all like, think they're the funniest people ever. It's like, you're failed comedian. So you ended up being a dirtbag for a living. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Back to you, Jack. I think, yes. I think that that is the issue, though, of the people that look at celebrities, and celebrity gossip as if they are not people. And I think that there are ways to comment on the lives, which is why we do when we do at page seven,

is talking about pop culture for people who don't give a shit about pop culture. And that is like at its core what it is of like, I don't want to look too far into someone's life unless we're doing like something like this where it's like, okay, why are people so obsessed with freeing Brittany? Why are they so into all of these things? And then once we started learning about it,

And the egregious bullshit she's had to put up with. But doesn't that change your mind and open up your brain space of it's not celebrities they're just like us. It's that celebrities are also people. They just happen to have a lot of money. And you know who they are. I will also say, Jackie, though, using the word egregious has now been deemed choo. So you're no longer, yes, you're chug.

Oh, like I'm pretending like I'm not chuggy. I'm all chuggy, baby. I've got little enamel pins on my little leather jacket. I'm chooky and that's okay. But one of them says a hot dog on it and it says number one weiner. By the way, I just want to let everybody know. Everybody needs to make sure to know.

Justin Timberlake was kind of like, oh, no, that shouldn't be. His statement. He was like, regardless of how crazy you've been of the past, you shouldn't have to do this now. I didn't see that part. He was like, regardless of all the things that may have happened in the past,

it's just like, man, edit that part out. There is no excuse. Justin, cry me a river, JT. Oh, my heart goes out to her regardless of all the, he was so shady. He definitely sounded like the high school boyfriend you had that never left his hometown in his remarks.

Oh, I like feel kind of baddish about it. Oh, I guess that probably shouldn't have happened even if she was totally crazy. That's so crazy. She's in too deep. And by that, I mean she's in her conservatorship. too deeply. And she needs to be,

she needs to be taken out of it like that IUD needs to be taken out her her have a child. I mean, that's really scary shit. That's fucking crazy. That's really scary shit. Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking handmade's tail. But don't worry, Bill Cosby's released from jail. So we have nothing to worry about. There you go. Maybe it's good that she has the IUDian because one of the most prolific rapists ever was released.

So maybe it's good that she can't have kids. Two times on this show we've all needed to be lawyers and we haven't been lawyers, man. I know. Yeah, we got a lawyer up, but you got a lawyer. We have access lawyers. My dad's a lawyer, MJ.

Yo, bro is a lawyer. Like, what's up? I'm going to make Gideon talk about, I'm just going to make him, I mean, like, sorry, you have a lot of work, but I need you to just research everything about Britney Spears and. Just slowly sneak the microphone up to his mouth

while he's talking, yeah. That's perfect. And I feel like what's like, and well, now yelling about Olivia Rodriguez, Rico and the Courtney Love feud, I feel like, is nothing. It is nothing, though. Courtney Love is like, it was just the same as when you posted this Andy Dick getting arrested again. It's like Courtney loves to pop it off of some dumb ass shit and Andy Dick getting too fucked up and getting taken to jail, some old.

And like that, talk about some 2009 ass shit. I know. Gen X, man. Come get your Gen X people. Bring it back. Take your Gen X back to the donkey shop. All right, ladies. Oh, my God.

The chooky donkey shop, no less. I, so essentially Courtney Love is upset at Olivia Rodrigo because the cover of driver's license is similar to holes live through this cover art, the famous one of her within the prom just crying, her mascara dripping down. A slight correction. It is, it was a promotion art for that awesome prom special that she released. Oh, is that all it was? That I watched last night at 1.30 in the morning and immediately emailed you guys about. Yeah, and then I watched it right after I saw that Bill Cosby was released. My brain is just all over the place right now.

And he's coming for her, you better believe, all right? No. But yeah, it's awesome. Check out the prom special. Cordy Love is stupid and kind of has been for a while and maybe sort of killed that guy that everyone loves. The thing is, I'm fine with Courtney Love. And I respect that I appreciate what she brought at the time, Barry, that she did it. And I love some whole songs.

I love whole. But the thing is like, we'll get off of this. Yeah, you're right. It's two prom queens crying. Yeah, never before has there been a girl image of a prom queen crying. I mean, yeah, it's not like Carrie happened decades before any of this shit, by the way. But also, yeah, and then I love that though you also said this other article, Jackie, about Elvis Costello being asked about this one song that they feel like plagiarized his song.

And he was just like, yeah, that's how fucking rock and roll works. not a thing. This isn't real. Go fuck yourselves. And it's, yeah, it's like, I don't. Yeah, because it's a similar riff. It's like off the first track on Olivia Rodriguez's album Sauer, that it is, the riff sounds very similar to Costello's 1978 song, Pump It Up.

And that is just, it's so, it's like, he said, it's how rock and roll works. You take the broken pieces of another thrill and make a brand new toy. That's what I did. Hashtag subterranean homesick blues. Hashtack too much monkey business. because the fact that pump it up, which is a huge Elvis Costello song, was inspired by Bob Dylan's 1965 song Subterranean Homestillers, which was also inspired by Chuck Berry's 1956 song Too Much Monkey Business.

But I mean, also going back to Madonna, yes, I mean, white music has been stealing from black music unabashedly for such a long time. And then Courtney Love has the audacity be like, that pitch is live, my best. picture. It was funny too because I was telling YouTube before this recording that it's it's so funny how you can look at it two different ways. Like on another way, Olivia Rodriguez-R-R-R-R-R-Riggo openly admitted that she used the part of the track from Taylor Swift's New Year's Day, like the piano riff. She like used that or the melody. She sort of took her own spin on it. And it was a celebrated thing. And it was like, this person inspired me so much that I like took one of her songs and like sort of re, almost repurposed this kind of piano melody that she created for my own song

because I loved it so much. And it was a, and then Taylor Swift News is on Twitter, who I follow is who retweet, who reposted that. So it's like, it's a celebrated thing within the T-Swift community that, like, Olivia Rodriguez would be so inspired by T-Swift to take, like, one of her melodies and create her own song out of it. Like, that's so ridiculous. Right. And I don't know enough about, I'm not a musicologist. just like I'm not a lawyer. And lucky for you, singer-songwriter, Holden McNeely, is in attendance. So if you have any questions about notations, melodies, inverted chords.

It seems like, as with much of art and culture, it's like a dialogue. And, you know, you take, and obviously plagiarism is plagiarism. And I feel like it was fucked when Vanilla Ice was like, no, no, no, no. Mine goes, do, do, do, do. And that one goes, do, do, do. Like, but like, yeah, that's fuck. Exactly. Of course music is always in conversation with itself.

You're always referencing other songs either explicitly or, and I feel like, if anything, Olivia Rodriguez could be like, yeah, it's a reference or whatever. But like, it's just like, you shouldn't steal jokes. You shouldn't steal things, but everything is always kind of cumulatively building on itself and referencing back and it's just a dialogue, you know? And so it's just the idea that Courtney Love has a, has the intellectual property ownership of the image of a prom queen crying is just silly. Agreed. And I do think it's funny though when she says like that when she wrote spot the difference, hashtag twinning at Olivia Rodriguez. This is how Courtney

Love called out Olivia Rodriguez. Yeah. And Olivia Rodriguez's response was, love you and live through this so much. And then, like, she wanted an apology. And I don't know if Olivia Rodriguez chose to not acknowledge it, which, I don't know. I think it would be very funny if she did. That would be fun. Oh, just like, yep. Yay.

I love it. I love it. It was such a, it was such, like, a polite, yeah, like, you know, social media tweet. And I think she honestly thought that Courtney Love, though, was being, like, trying to be, like, fun about it. Like, supporting her. And then she kind of went off. After that, yeah. Famously not very nice, Courtney Love. Speaking of deceptive musicians,

I've got a celebrity conspiracy for you, too. Do you believe it? Andrew WK is several people slash a brand slash doesn't exist. Oh, my God. Then who did I see at Warp Tour in 2003? What was that dumb comedy award show that we attended in New York? We saw him there, too. and he pulled out a giant glass of vodka

and challenged someone to go drink it, and John Moreno did. He got up and drank a pint glass of vodka. I've never seen anything more alcoholic. Hot vodka. In my entire life, it was the most alcoholic thing I've ever seen in my life.

It was horrible. I remember it was so hot in there. It was so hot. And he drank all of it and he was like, that was insane. That was in the height of our alcoholism too. Still, I was like, man, John, you have a problem. Regardless, we also might have a problem with old Andy WK.

This comes in from Caitlin who says, Hi, hold that, in all caps. I don't have time to create an entire PowerPoint. Whatever! Yes. But I have come across this conspiracy several times and thought it would be somewhat timely since he's been in the news recently after becoming engaged to Cat Dinning. Congratulations.

If you're real. There's a theory that NGWK is a product manufactured by Dave Grohl and is not a real person and or the real NJWK was replaced by another person or several other people. After going down the NGWK wormhole, honestly, I have no idea what's true. What's conspiracy and what's performance art created by a bizarre genius who loves messing with people. Do you believe? Love you guys and fuck Ariana Grande. This is so I, there were a few links in. I just pulled one. So I don't even think I have the Dave Grohl. stuff in here. I mean, there's so much, guys. Like, talk about Jaggy, like, a worm time. This is big, okay? Okay, hit us, a worm time. Tightly grip your thighs while I read this to you.

I'm gripped. I'm not slipping off of this chair, at least for another three minutes. This was pulled from a blog on blog spot called Archer's Guild. Ooh, sexy. Yeah, right? I don't even know if I want to read it now that I see the title of the blog spot. I love it, Archer. I am the Archer. Oh, that's Taylor Swift for you. In 2001, Andrew WK appeared out of nowhere with his debut album, I Get Wet.

And for a year or so, it seems like he was everywhere. Themes seemed to be going well for AWK until 2004, when someone claiming to be Steve Mike began hacking the official AWK website. The intruder began leaving cryptic messages involving number codes and photos of Mountain Dew Cans. This is real, by the way. There are images. There are countless websites devoted to deciphering these codes. I'm not going to bore you with the details here.

Once translated, it appeared that Steve Mike had been cut out of AWK's second album and was not happy about it. He made many vague threats about exposing AWK's true identity, but never really followed through. Suddenly, dozens of websites popped up all over the WWW. That shows you how old this blog spot is on the World Wide Web, baby. Debating what AWK's dark secret could possibly be, many claimed that he was simply an actor hired by music execs to front their latest product. Some claim that AWK's father, James E. Creer, was Steve Mike, and that he had written all the music. Some claim that Steve Mike was actually Andrew WK himself, and this was all a publicity stunt. Fans at an Andrew WK concert in New Jersey claimed that the man on stage was an imposter dressed as Andrew WK.

Quote, unquote, Andrew, apparently left the stage halfway through the show and never returned. Many internet theorists believe that this was the debut of the second actor who played AWK. Later in 2008, oh my God, can we get away from? from the late 2000s in this episode? Oh my God, it's all coming back to bite us in the bus. I'm sorry, I upset myself. I love it, I love that. And later in 2000, keep gripping those thighs, Jackie.

I can tell you're relinquishing your grip. Later in 2008, Andrew W.K. gave a speech in London at a club called Madame Jojo's, during which he claimed Andrew W.K was created by a large group of people. This is from Andrew WK. They met, and I was there, and we talked about how we could come up with something that would move people.

It was done in the spirit of commerce. It was done in the spirit of entertainment, which usually goes hand in hand with commerce. I was auditioned alongside many other people to fill this role of a great frontman, a great performer. On the one hand, it may be a little scary to admit this to you all, that I may not exactly be exactly who you thought I was, and that the guy who was, in fact, first hired as Andrew WK,

is a different person than the guy sitting here on the stage tonight. I'm the next person who is playing NGWK. However, during an interview in 2010, he stated, I am Andrew WK, the same that has been here from the beginning. I am the same Andrew WK at this appearance as at all Andrew WK related appearances. At this point, it seems like he's just fucking with us, says the blog spot, man. Lastly, just when you think things could get any more bizarre, enter Twig Harper, artist musician all around weirdo and longtime friend of Andrew Federley Wilkes career,

aka Andrew W. Harper claims that he came up with the whole concept of AWK during an acid trip. He asserts that the concept of AWK was to create a, quote, false Christ figure. Although I will say, I mean, I've had some asset experiences that I get it. Yeah, I get it too. They would build him up through the corporate media

and then at his peak, expose the facade and, quote, usher in a new dawn for humanity, end quote. Harper also claims to have lived in a house that was unknowingly part of a mind control experiment and to have invented a time machine. Read all about it here. I guess there's a link.

But that's it. That's all I've got. What do you guys think? There's other... By the way, I didn't even get into the... This is just the first entry. there were so many entries about this. Do you think Andrew W.K.

Is a demigod? Do you think he is a multiple people? There are a lot of before and after photos, by the way, from different time periods. Definitely seems like a different guy. I take it over to you, MJ. This isn't I want to believe. I like this theory.

I think that I've never quite been able to wrap my whole head around him, and maybe it's because there's too much of him to wrap my head around. And maybe if he's a different guy's that allows him to be immortal. And if that's true, that's so good for his deal because he's like this forever party guy. Yeah, party forever. And I think if you're going to be party forever guy, it's got to be multiple people, right? In order to keep the party alive and young. Yeah. Jackie. I think I'm going to take a hybrid idea of Bojack Horseman and the show alone. I think, oh my God, sweet tooth. We started it last night.

He might be a trench coat filled with Wolverine. Because Wolverines are crafty. And Wolverines, I bet, if you could just chill out a wolverine enough, maybe with some acid or maybe with some weed, I think that you could party with the Wolverines. And then they're going, eh, and everyone goes, yeah, keep it going. I think I'm going to separate myself from what Jackie just said. Please don't give a Wolverine acid or weed or attempt to party with a Wolverine.

He will die. You will get your face ripped off, you will die. You'll definitely get your face ripped off just by getting near one, but they're just so damn cute. Ah. Ha! Making those faces is not cute, nor does it make me feel a Wolverine would be cute upon partying with one. All right, don't give a Wolverine acid. There you go.

That's the truth right there. And that's where we're going to leave this conspiracy theory. Don't give a Wolverine acid. Back to you, Jackie. Back to me, and it's back to... Shout, shout. Let it all out. These are the things that you wrote it about.

Come on. We'll read them to you. Come on. Welcome to our shout-it-out part. I am excited because we got lots of fun things today. Well, first, we got some birthdays and we got some general shout-outs, and I just tipped my hat to it. Oh, Sergeant Shout-out over there. Yes, Sergeant.

Oh. Oh, that's, that one. Well, Sergeant, uh-oh. Yeah, I said Sergeant, uh-oh. Just get to the shout-outs. Just get to the shout-outs. I want to give a Joe to Ricky Minaj with the new grill out there. Thank you so much for writing in.

We're so happy for you because you got this shit. And Holden, he did say, as a gay man, my words will weigh a bit heavier, but I totally agree that Ariana Large, Grande Mocha, is like whatever. And I just needed you to know that. Fantastic. I also want to give a shout out to Clelia, because Clelia is the coolest fucking name of all time. And Clelia is a partying librarian with a sick of shit name. Thank you so much for saying so many nice things in the email.

And I really, I need to get this across. I love your name. Clelia is so beautiful. And reverse, reverse. We have a previous shouted out now that Tiz the shoutee. Carrie wrote in about Courtney's birthday, but now it's Carrie's 30th, and she says that you are basically my hero

and that she's so fucking proud of you. Happy Dirty Dirty, Carrie! Now this one, I think Holden, you will find very interesting. So, Liss wrote in, and Liss is not a regular stepmom. She's a cool stepmom. So she told her anime-loving stepdaughter

that she would totally, and she's 15, that she should watch B stars, because like a me, she loves B stars as well. Isn't this going to make her daughter than be like, Mommy, why did you make me watch the horny, horny show? Well, that's what she said. She's like, here I am giving solid wrecks to this teenager

because I'm not a regular stepmom. I'm a cool stepmom, right? Spoiler alert, wrong, so wrong. She came downstairs the next day to ask one very pressing question, is it like all sex stuff? How old is this kid? She's 15.

Oh, okay, 15. Yeah, she's not a kid. And so, but it's just so funny because then she says, insert whatever noise you make when your soul dies a little. She said, I thought all teens, like my younger self, loved sexy shit. Long story short, kids suck these days. No appreciation for the good stuff. Probs all the tide pods and weird TikTok trends.

It was just so funny because I hear you list. I did the same thing to my niece, as well as with Riverdale, and I asked my niece to watch Riverdale, and she watched an episode, she was like, why did you think I would like this? I was like, I thought I was connecting with the young.

Yeah. You're not weird in horror. Like I was, I would say, hey, both Jackie and this person who wrote in. A Carol and Tuesday, great wreck. Oh, Carol and Tuesday is so great. A wonderful, like, great, I feel like, anime works, especially for a girl.

like, especially if they're at all a musician, I mean, and then there's no weird horny next day conversations. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, you know, I think, forgive Liss and I for trying to open up the world to the youth, okay? But also, Liss the second season starts in a couple of days. Oh, right.

Oh, actually, I'm excited about that too. Oh, yeah. We got more too, how to handle tonight. Oh, my God, more. I've already talked all of the first form. Oh, my God, MJ. The rest of them come out tonight. So we've got quite a weekend.

I've got more shoutouts to do. Because how dare you? But also, Courtney, I completely understand. Courtney wants to give a shout out to one of her best friends, Jackie. And I'm the only one allowed to have that. That's not true. You wait until Holden's child is born. And then there will be three Jackies.

It'll be me, baby Jackie. And Jackie, who's birthday is on July 3rd. She says, I want to wish her liver. for the debauchery I know we're going to get into. Jackie is one of the unique friends that is always there when you need her, and I truly appreciate her so much. We met through a friend, but immediately grew close when we realized we both listened to last podcast. She's a longtime listener and a huge fan of Page 7,

and she's the reason I started listening to the show in the first place. I hope you have an amazing party-filled birthday, and let's let these squirty birds out of their cages. These streets will run white with college. It's so great when just a one little throwaway joke in a single episode becomes a slogan of a generation. I think about it all the time. Anthem for the entire 2021 year. Yes, exactly.

In fact, we didn't get to our Olympics news, which we will talk about next week because I'm very, very excited for the Olympics. But there was no room in the anger of this episode. But we're going to be talking about how the Olympic Village rums would come very soon. Oh, my God, it's going to be so cummy in that fucking Village, bro. So coming. Speaking of, I dream of gifts have come for you, Hunty Boy, it's Hunty Boy's birthday, Holden. Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Auntie Boy.

Hunty boy is a part of our amazing Twitch community, and he's always so present and so involved, and I love you so fucking much. And his birthday's on June 30th, which is the day after this episode comes out, and I love you so much. And I can't wait to see you on Friday, and we will celebrate your birthday,

hunting boy, come check out Jackin with the Holdies on this Friday. Here, you've repeated after me, you can do it. Jackin with the Holdies. Jackin with the Holies. There you go, you got it. Come on, let's go. All right, Elton. Yeah.

Uh-oh, I've got something that goes out to Shamy McShamerson and himself. A one Holden McNeely. What? This goes out to you from Apes McNeil. Another of our beautiful Twitch community, Hi, Apes McNeil. And thank you, Apes McNeil, because she's here to yell at you. Holden, sisters being in the bathroom with you when you poop is pretty fucking common. I grew up with three sisters.

And when one of us had to go number two, we would just yell, group poop. And at least two of my symphics would go to the bathroom with me. This got me more the picture of normal. And we'd listen to music and talk while we pooped. We did have a pretty large bathroom, and whoever was not using the toilet would sit in our claw foot tub, and we just hang out together.

Still to this day, we talk about our GPs, yes, they're group poops, and have pretty fond memories about it. Sorry, Holden doesn't have siblings who love him and that he feels shape about his bodily functions. I guess, just four years older, I think it's a weird one.

I mean, I definitely took baths with my brother back in, like, when we were little kids, you know what I mean? But I think the shitting, we normal... I do have one memory of just not closing the door when I went to take a shit and like, I was probably elementary age. Yeah. And my brother had his friends over and they all decided to like leave their room and go downstairs at the same time.

And just all walked past me, looked in the bathroom, just see me taking the shit. Just wanted to crawl inside of myself and die. Just wanted to die. That's a good trauma. Because when you're young, you think that people four years older than you are automatically the coolest people on earth. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, they all just saw me.

taking it dump. The doorway over the door is definitely just way too, just far enough away to not be able to touch it. And thus the trauma continues. Do you feel ashamed right now even as you think about it? Yeah, I just want to curl up until my skin pops off my body. I'm going to such a ball. I do also love that Aze McNeil did say,

love you guys, I'm sorry I made you read the word poop so many times. Jackie, please forgive me because you know me and I love you. And I appreciate you. But the idea of group poops, I think, is very funny. And I do, I just, I need to give a shout out to this person that wrote in that was yelling about the arianators. And even though they're not a fan of the fan base of Aronators, which is a dumb name, they do believe in adding the word ader to the end of their name. Is this from Penny? Yes.

Do you know Penny? I pulled this from Penny. I was going to read this. Oh, really? Yes, yes. See, my name is Penelope. and even though everyone calls me Penny, if I were to have a fan base, they would be called The Penitrators.

That's right. For only $40 annually, you could join my fan club and get a T-shirt that says penetrator in large print across the chest. Better yet, I'm imagining myself as a rapper, even though I'm from a Midwestern farming community, you could find even more cool gear at the penetration station, which is what we would call my merch table. Like I said, I have no feelings towards Ariana Grande. I just think that the method of naming a fan base that is in dispute is pretty status quo.

Hope this brought a chuckle. I work night shifts and listen to the show to award away the crushing sense of loneliness and paranoia that you may not be alone. That comes with that. Love y'all. Hell yeah. Thank you so much, Penny. That's awesome. The penetrators are so funny.

So funny. I laughed and had to pull it. I'm so glad that you wanted to read the same one. See, we love the idea. We're on board completely. Let's get the penetration station up and running the streets. We'll run white with come. But first, it's time for the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. 15 little known terrible spin-offs from iconic movies and shows. So this also includes to television as well. And the problem with these lists is I immediately want to seek these things out because some of them just sound so dumb. Like when they turned, although this isn't dumb, I think that it's more of like in the GI Joe range. but when they turned Rambo into a kid-friendly Saturday morning cartoon. I love it.

Yeah, I love when they would do that. Like, Beetlejuice, they did. There was another way crazy, like Robocop got its own cartoon. I remember the Roseocon. See, the Beetlejuice one was great, though. Beetlejuice was awesome. The morning cartoon was great. It's awesome, yeah, yeah.

But not even the show's head writer could believe it got greenlit. But 1986's Rambo, the Force of Freedom, ran a surprisingly long time for a total of 65 episodes. Wow. But then there's just things that are more. were boring. Like for one season there was a Ferris Bueller's sitcom on.

Really? Remember it? Do you? Looking at the picture of the cast, is that Jennifer Aniston, by the way? That is Jennifer Anish. Looking at the picture of the cast,

I remember this fucking bad TV show because I loved Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I was so into that movie. So I was excited for that. And yeah, it was a bit of a turd. But what was A Can't Lose? What was it again?

Parker Farron. What was the name of that TV show? Something, Something Can't Lose. Oh my God. That was the Ferris Bueller show that was really good. Parker Lewis Can't Lose. I think it was Parker Lewis Can't Lose. You guys don't remember that show?

No. Oh, Parker Lewis Can't Lose. That was the real Ferris Bueller TV show. Oh. That was such a great. Yeah, yeah. You don't remember this show? I loved this show.

Oh, it was so good. And that was kind of about like a Ferris Bueller type kid at a school. Like, it was actually really good. Gotcha, gotcha. Well, there are some that, or like, on this list, that I don't know if it is as bad as they remember, because I remember the spinoff from Ducktails called Quack Pack.

That was one season that I really liked, but I also was obsessed with Ducktails, so I was ready to watch all of it. But some of these things do hurt my feelings, like the EWox cartoon, that the reason why I chose this list is because the picture of the EWox cartoon is on the top of this list,

and I was like, oh, fuck! The EWox Cartoon! Because I love... I still have not seen all of Star Wars. I've seen... I think I saw the first one. That's the fourth one. But I saw that one.

I saw something. Yeah. But I had an Ewok, and I had a little, like, stuffed EWalk, and I loved the EWalk, because my older sister was obsessed with Star Wars. So when the EWox cartoon came out, and I got it onto a VHS,

and we would record them onto a VHS, and I loved it so much, and I watched it until, like, the tape actually... and so I really did. My mind just got blown because you know when you just see a picture of something, you're like, fuck, and it's just like flash, flash, flash, flash, flash. And now I got to watch all of the Ewox cartoon. On your tape that's disintegrated.

I'm sure it holds up. I'm sure it holds up and I'll find it. I'll find it online. And this I didn't know about it because I went through a weird, I went through my summer of Cheers, where I was obsessed with Cheers, that Frasier wasn't the only Cheers spinoff. There was also the Tortellis. I remember the Tortellies.

Yeah, I remember they tried that. And then it was about Carla's ex-husband Nick. But why do you want to, like, everything as you ever said about Nick was bad. I don't want to watch a car the show about Nick. And I want to say, too, just because you said the word, you want to talk about a motherfucking TV show. Let's talk about some Frasier, shall we? Frazier is amazing. I've never watched Frasier, and I think that it's like.

like it's something I just need to undertake. You know, I feel like it's... I'll tell you this right now, Jay's. This is what happened to me, all right? I always talked about how I had a nosebleed for a week. Yo, next time you get laid out with something, you got a fever, you got whatever, you're laid out on the couch,

and you got nothing else you can do. But eat chicken noodle soup, pop on fucking Frasier, bro, and just enjoy that all the live-long day. It will soothe your soul, like a bowl of chicken soup. Same with cheers as well. Cheers, too. Like, if you start at the beginning of cheers,

and then go through, and then this is years of being laid up. You watch Cheers, watch All of Cheers, then you watch Frasier, watch All of Frasier, like, these kind of shows of like, there's a reason why they're still in the Zyxans, and it's really good. One thing I did that was kind of fun with Cheers, and this was again during that weird week,

because it's known to have one of the best pilots and series finale of all time, I watched them back to back. I did the pilot and then the series finale. What? How could you do that? That hurts my chest. just to like kind of blow, blow my brain open with, because they really are, like, that pilot is textbook, just phenomenal.

Oh, yeah. They teach it in, like, scrape play classes. Like, this is a textbook beautifully done pilot. And the finale, if you've never seen the series finale, so tastefully done, so well done. Yeah, it's great. So good. Yeah.

And this is, and I mean, Frazier is now getting, I'm mad because I was trying to pitch a show where I essentially was a, like, of doing a reboot of Frazier, but that I was Frazier. and I'm mad because they are doing that show but with the cast of Frazier and so I get it.

Oh, is it easier to sell? I guess I understand. Are we moving out? What's going on? Am I angry? This is still the angry episode. All right. All right.

We've had some laughs, but I'm still mad at it. And that's it for the list. And that's me going blind. Items. Oh, we can't see. Here we go. Well, you know what? I'm going to douse your anger with a cool bucket of happiness water. Please.

This is a kind blind. Kind blind. After meeting and hanging out with two women at a bar and then back at his hotel all night, the usual suspect and A-list, mostly movie actor, wanted to hang out with one of the friends on a more intimate basis. To keep everyone happy, the actor paid for a room next door to his to his for the other friend. The actor also paid for all the nights out that week and was spotted more than once passing out $100 billion. to homeless people. No fear and loathing in this situation. There were two context clues for the actor.

That was one of them, the last one. No, is it Johnny Depp? No, who's the other one? Oh. Usual suspect was the other context. Oh, Kevin Spacey? No. Not, why would I do a kind blind about Kevin Spey.

I don't know. When I hear usual suspects, that's what I think of. Was he in fear and loathing? No. Benicio del Toro? Yes. I'm mad at the blind now. I try to give you a kind blind,

you made me angry about it. By the way, June 24th was also declared Benicio del Toro day by the mayor of New York because he took on an initiative to debunk myths about COVID vaccines and got the Latinx community's vaccination rates up. Sounds fucking amazing. I was so upset that it was Johnny Depp that I was like blind to everything else. And then Kevin Spacey was the other one. I'm sorry that you named two movies where the stars of each movie are both terrible people.

No, he's a good, yeah. Venezio del Toro sounds like, how nice is that? You're with your friend. You're like, I want to bang your friend. I'm gonna put you in a hotel room, girl, and you could just chill in this motherfucking nice-ass hotel room while I bang out your friend and I'll take you out every night and buy you drinks every night.

How sweet is that? That is sweet. Also, what I will say, too, is that it is nice to have your friend's room right next door. Because also then, if you don't want to be there, and you're like, we're done, you can go next door. Go next door. Hey, girl, we got to, we got to get that geeky. This three named A.

or chucked an entire bottle of wine from the bottle while waiting to be seated at a table this past weekend. Lil Nas X? No, but good guess. Went punk, went from rap to punk. Three names, real hot right now. Smoking hot lady friend right now. Banging out his, talk about banging out of lady.

Three words, though. Three words. Yep. Wow, you guys are out of touch. I'm going to say that right now. M.J.A. super out of touch. Jackie, way out of touch. Two out of touch.

You're out of touch. The whole freaking system is out of touch. Three words. The actress who he is with is known for being hot, but was in a really good movie that I saw recently that was like a horror comedy that's really good, and she's really into her body. And she's transformed in different movies.

Yes. That's the girlfriend. You don't know who's with Megan Fox right now? Oh, Machine Gun Kelly. Yeah. That's three words. I also, again, was hung up on. Travis Barker. I was, I'm like,

okay, so it's, but I know that it's not. No, the answer's Chris Brown. The answer's Chris Brown. He's badgered Megan Fox. All of the things that you were saying, lined up with Megan Fox. And then I was like, okay, well, then that, but that doesn't make any sense because it's not the reword. I feel like I would have downed

an entire bottle of wine as well, but still got to love reading a blind. I love goofy blinds like that. Like, who get, you know what I mean? Yeah, all right. And entire bottle of wine's not even that much. Yeah, he also always Oh, by the way, apparently, too, there's pictures of Chris Brown has emerged recently from his, his Heidi hole, and he looks like shit. Just want to throw it out there. Love good, shitty Chris Brown news. Because it seems like everyone's just like, he wrote another hit and we love him again. Like, what are you talking about? He's a horrible person. He keeps being horrible. Anyways, last one. This one comes in from Ariel. Also, when did he get punk? He just went. My brain is all over the place. Oh, I think you need to listen to this album, Jackie. He went. Oh, okay, because I didn't know that he went punk. He went pop punk. And, like, everyone loved. loves the album and it's solid. It's really good. Megan Fox is in the one of the, is she in all

the music videos, but they did a really sexy music video together as well. And they're like, they're hot right now. They're like the hottest kind of sexiest. Oh no, I've seen all of the pictures. Yeah, yeah. I've definitely seen a lot of them. They're just doing blow and fucking playing music and being at parties and having a good time now. So. No, and I'm just thinking of that's what was, Travis Barker and Courtney Kardashian. Oh, yeah, yeah. for being hot and I'm like, but Travis, um, I'm mad at myself now.

Last one. This one comes in from Ariel who says, hello all. This is a personal blind item that might not interest anyone, but it's all I got, so I hope it's not too boring. And I just realized I can't believe what I'm about to say. Back in 2009.

This again. We're trapped. All aughts all the time. Back in 2009 slash 2010, an old comedy TV and movie actor was making a somewhat comeback in a new ensemble TV show playing a dirty, racist old man and his shitty character seemed to have rubbed off on him.

While I was interning at a comedy theater, this older comic actor decided to drop in on his show. When I went back to ask this actor if he wanted water or anything to drink, he replied, unless you're going to show me your tits, then no, I don't need anything. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised when this older actor was fired from the TV show

a year or two later for being an asshole. This is the classic asshole comic guy. Is it Carol O'Connor? No, no, Guy. Is Carol O'Connor a guy? Well, yeah, I was thinking all in the family. Isn't that the guy who's Archibunker?

Yeah. More modern, way more modern than that. I mean, there's an old guy in 2009. Old guy in 2009, got kicked off of a show in 2009? He's known for being one of the biggest dickheads, like, classically.

Chevy Chase. Yes. Oh, that's right. On community. Thank you for the blind Ariel. Yeah, ensemble TV show. I was going back way too far. And even I was just doing the Rick and Morty episode, and Dan Harmon was fired from Community for a while.

That's how Rick and Morty kind of ended up coming to beat. It's because he, during the, like, cast party, he did a whole bit with people making, like, shitting on Chevy Chase. And Chevy Chase, like, complained to the producers after the party and got Dan Harmon fired for a year. And then they rehired him, obviously, after they realized Chevy Chase was actually deserving of the ridicule. And then they got rid of Chevy Chase. Yeah. Community is a really great show. I know, I need to go actually watch it.

It's so, so good. I haven't rewatched it since it was on, but it is interesting that Chevy Chase is there because it's such a kind, well, it's such like, it has such heart, you know? It's like a really, really sweet show. There you go. And this episode had some heart.

No, it didn't. It was very angry, but we still appreciate being able to see again. Being able to be angry sometimes. It's nice. I'm going to go on a run later and I'm going to be all angry. I'm like, oh, I'm on this run and get it out. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to call like,

the car people or somebody like that and just yelled them. They'd be like, why are you even calling? I'm like, I just need to yell at somebody. You know what I mean? Abuse people like verbally. I just need to break stuff. Yeah. Well, I'm going to be angrily macramaying.

And man, there's nothing that gets the rage out like making little knots. Little Notts X. Yes. I'm just going to be muttering defend Lil Nas X at all costs to myself. Kill Bill Cosby. Defend Little Nasek. You're like a, you're like Robocop. Like, yeah.

eliminate Cosby to keep Little Daz X in survival mode Vigilante justice is our only option now Yeah All right Thank you guys so much for joining us I hope that maybe this helped you get your rage out Or maybe you just need to shut off the podcast

And just go like Rip up a bunch of paper I will say ripping up a bunch of paper Really does help sometimes And that's all right We're getting through it Hell yeah Hell yeah

Oh I didn't even get to praise it's hot dog season. I'm so angry I didn't even think about hot dog season. Don't worry. I'll scream about hot dog season next week. I will say this. Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me, but I'll tell you to check me out on Twitch. Twitch.com.T.V.T.Vor-Teefleds-Haw. Monday, Tuesday. Friday Friday. It's a fun time over there. Jacking with the holdies every Friday. For us, it's in the afternoon. For a lot of y'all, it's in the evening. It's the perfect pregame. It's the perfect way to get lit up on a Friday to start the weekend, right? Also, Patreon.com, forward slash page seven podcast.

Check us out. So much weekly content. It'll make your fucking shit blow up. Yep. Your shit inside of you will blow up. Your body will explode. And then everybody will laugh at it. Check us out.

Pageo.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Also, lastly, the email. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Page the number 7 podcast at gmail.com. We really love all those messages coming in. Honestly, for me, the blind items, the conspiracy theories. They really help a lot. Obviously, I used one of each today.

So I really, really check that every week and love it. And obviously, Jackie checks it too. Speaking of which, knock, knock, knock, who's there? Oh, no, it's Jackie. Oh, no, it's Jackie. And that's my Twitch handle. And you can come find me over there at twitch. com. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie.

On Tuesday evenings, we are doing a sex therapy talk show. And on Thursday evenings, we're doing a talking about fashion and personal style show. one with Dr. Jay, one with Lisa Rose. Please look it up. Twitch.com. Oh, no, it's Jackie. And we have been having some fun over there and also getting some shit off of our chest.

We got things to say. Come and join us. And I love you. I can follow me on Instagram. I Jack That World. And I'm MJ and I'm MJKLCat on Instagram. Macromay, hey. Love you guys.

Talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by. listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.