Page 7 - Ep. 413: Do You Not Like Sensory Pleasure?

Episode Date: August 12, 2021

WE'RE BAAAAACK! This week we're gossin' 'bout Darcey and Stacey's House of Eleven fashion line, the chaotic naming and organization of Love After Lockup seasons, the possible need for a Pandemic Mascot, Lizzo's TED Twerk, sad quarantine albums, the apparent lack of bathing in certain parts of Hollywood (including the detail that shaving cream is not soap), Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart's amazing commentary of the Olympics Dressage as well as some of the more bizarre competitions, and the possible need for Mommentators. And in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Is Ashton Kutcher (the smelliest) an undercover CIA agent?! We also got The List, Blinds and SHOUTOUTZ.Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This goes out to Rory's mother in a shoutout, but also goes out. This is a ram-bam sad thank you, ma'am, because I always remember right before my birthday that Robin Williams died. Why are there so many songs about rainbows? What's on the other side? rainbows are visions but only allusions and rainbows have nothing to hide oh so we've been told that some choose to believe it but i know they're wrong way to and say cause someday we'll find it The Rainbow Connection

The lovers Four days before my birthday And I know, you know, I apologize to Rory's mom It's not even the same birthday as mine But it always gets me every fucking year It's been seven years since Robin Williams died By the way. Still makes me sad every time I think about it

And this is not going to be a sad rest of the episode because this is my birthday week and everyone just dash it from your brains because we've got other things to talk about and we're back. Welcome back to page seven. I am paralyzed by Jackie's intro emotionally, mentally.

Let's try to bring it up. We'll figure this out. I feel like I'm stuck in a block of ice right now being transported to some scientific research center. Nerd girl. Nerd girl. He's not dead. He's still alive.

Whoa. He was recently seen out with Callista Flockhart. They did roll out his almost corpse and he waved to the people. He's not an almost corpse. He's actually doing really well. But MJ, we missed you too. I missed you guys. I also have a lot going on in my brain right now.

I'm thinking about the Muppet movie because of the rainbow connection. Well, and then really the best is if you really, you know, now that we're talking about being upset and crying, just I always say, look up Big Bird singing. Jim Henson's funeral. It's not easy being green. I don't need to think about that. If you need, if you're at work and you need catharsis, like I did the day I watched it and I cried at my cubicle. Just look a big bird at Jim Henson's memorial.

It is, I, every time I'm like, you know what, I haven't cried in about 45 minutes. I'll pop that video on of watching the Muppets sing at Jim Hensis's memorial. Yeah. And very, very upsetting. And I just, I remember the first time I saw it, too, was when I was doing a school project in fifth grade on Jim Henson. And I had to dress up like Jim Henson. And I watched, I remember, like, finding a, there was a tape, there was a VHS of the library that had Jim Henson's memorial on it. Weird.

Get screwed library. Yeah. And that's why I hate libraries. And I don't like. I hate libraries. No, I don't. I really loved my library, and it was really, really sad.

And now I'm even more sad, guys. Yeah, dude. He sings the song and you cry about it. Talk about a celebrity death that rocked me as a child. Even though he was already dead by the time I became really aware of Jim Henson, I just thought it was so, like, as I, you know, fell in love with the Muppet universe and, like, learning that this perfect genius had died.

so, you know, untimely, I was just, I, I just remember being a kid and being like, that should not be allowed. Like, I was so upset. What was your, like, favorite celebrity death? Like, what was the celebrity death that just, like, made you, like, put a pep in your step, you know what I mean? Made the world spin around.

I'd probably go, like, Bowie, I guess. That one was like, wow, I really made that one about me when that one happened. I let everybody know that I brush shoulders with him at the restroom. Isn't that your favorite, though? There was a recent celebrity. By the way, shoutouts to Trevor Moore. rest in peace of, uh, white as kids.

Oh, in they came a flood in, the many, many posts about how, uh, actually that day was about the person that spent a day on a set with them. That was actually more about them than, then the wife and the children that he left behind and the accident. This was immediately what Henry and I started talking about. I was with, I was hanging out with the head room we found out about Trevor Moore. And he's like, that's just like the scariest one, like the accident. And that apparently he's got some statistic and I think he made it up, but maybe he didn't.

about how like over the age of whatever, whatever, it's more likely to die from just like an at-home accident than it is from most other things. And I was like, stop it, Henry. We call that the God's cruel joke statistic. Yes, absolutely. You can literally die. A hunter could shoot a bird out of the sky

and its beak lands right into your brain. No. Yes, it happened. No more than you. I'm assuming. I don't know if we're not around many hunters here in, in Los Angeles. Oh, no.

Are you surprised? Not a big hunter per capita industry happening here? Well, and then we develop these fears, and then we have to pass them on to the next generation. Like, I know my children are going to get texts when they're out, when they're, like,

13, and it starts raining, and I'm going to be like, don't go near trees or scaffolding. Stop my shoulder! And they're going to be so frustrated with me. They're going to be like, oh, my God. My mom is so annoying, like, every single time it rains. get these panic texts and I'm going to be like,

wind can be deadly, you know. I think about it every time I'm on an escalator. I always think of my grandmother and how my grandmother said, you will die on the escalator. Your shoe is going to get trapped. You'll be sucked inside of the mechanism. Yeah, I had that fear too. And Darcy proved to all of us that

one's heel can get stuck in an escalator and it will not, in fact, end your life. Her fake lubotons. I'm sorry. Her house of 11 fake lubotons. you. Please, Jack. I just need you to know, MJ, that Darcy from the 90-day Fiancee fame and also Darcy and Stacey, her spin-off, she and her twin sister have a fashion store called House of 11, and they sell red-bottom shoes that are not lupitons. I don't exactly know how

they can do it, but it is very impressive. I thought that they were lupitons. I should start 90 days, maybe for Holtz, so we have something to talk about during Holtz's paternity leave. because I have, if anyone's interested in just starting a separate, like, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, only Real Housewives podcast. That's the only Real Housewives I've watched, but I, nobody, no, that's not true. Other people in my life watch it. But I feel like I don't have anybody to talk about it with. But so I feel like maybe we can pass the time while Holden's gone by just talking about 90 days, Real House of Salt Lake City. The gift you would give me, if you start watching 90 day, I will tell you exactly what seasons, which seasons to watch, when to watch them so that you can be

introduced to all of our favorite people. And don't worry, it's incredibly complicated. There's different names for the shows. It's not even just season by season. It's slightly less complicated than Life After Lockup, which literally just like... Don't even get me started on the organization of Life After Lockup.

It is the most chaotic naming convention, titling convention. There's like Life After Lockup and then Love After Lockup, right? But then some of them will continue the storyline of like some of the people from life every log up season something will be and it's all on Amazon and you're like why are I'm just paying for this evil man to go to space by watching this here you know what I mean in the first place and I'm probably buying season I don't even need you know what I mean just to just to just to feed my sick addiction oh he's up in space just be like

this this is the spaceship that 90 day fiazzi seasons have been that that's where he's getting all of his cash wover. The 90s, Beyonce hoodwinking. No, just get Discovery Plus, MJ, and then he can really just get into the whole world. With his cowboy hat. MJ, what's your favorite thing about the billionaires going to space

based on the money of the lower class? My favorite thing is how it makes me feel like I'm personally responsible for it because I've been meaning to not do Amazon but since, and I never did. I again can blame my children. I never did Amazon until I was like diaper delivery. Yes, please.

And Pandy, bro. Just Pandy in general, man. I'm like, holy fuck. How do you not? I'm sorry. That's my fun nickname for the pandemic. It's Pandy. Oh, Pandy.

Yeah. It's like a cute. Oh, that's the mascot too for the pandemic. A little Panda berry goes like, hey, it's back. It's a big old stinky panty. Ew. Hey, it's me. The talking Panny.

Don't you wish you I could just. go away. You thought I was dead, but I'd never die. Oh, throw it away. All you have to do is wash me through a free laundry wash, but half of you won't. So I guess I'm still here. It's Fee and it's right down the street, but instead you refuse. I actually think that if the pandemic, the icon of the pandemic wasn't discussing panty,

I think that people would want to clean that panty much more than they would want to get vaccinated. It's about messaging. Can we change the narrative? This is the public health slogan we've been looking for. Clean the panty with like a big... What are you going to wear dirty panties? It's a vaccine. Get the fucking vaccine.

I feel like panty is one of those words that makes a lot of people uncomfortable too, like the word moist so we can capitalize on that. Well, also he has to say stuff like, I'm panty and I don't believe in free speech. You know what I mean? Stuff like that that really gets the morons to think that, you know...

It's all you have to do is just say a few buzzwords, you know, hey, it's me. You know what's, you know who's smart? Q! Oh, get this panty out of year. Clean that panty. Give me the shot. Panis said, get the shot.

E.H. Free Z loves free speech like me. I like guns in the military. Oh, no. Get the shot. Take it from dirty panties. Someone clean the panty. And I certainly know it's not going to look anything like a panty that Lizzo would wear while giving a TED twerk.

Yes, I just seamlessly transition away from the panty. Ted twerk done by Lizzo, where she delivered a TED talk about the history of twerking is, man, Lizzo has given us talk about the, you know, in our new resurgence of the panty that we didn't know would exactly happen as quickly as it did. Or some of us fucking did, but we're not going to go down that road. By the way, Dirty Panty, 2024. I'm throwing it out there right now. He will be elected. Based on his many platforms that I just laid out. Go on.

Get the panty out of here and not up in there because I watched the clip of the Ted twerk that Lizzo gave. And of course, people have lots of things to say on the TED twerk that she did. We're not going to watch all of it until it comes out. But I do like that so much of the internet is celebrating Lizzo right now because also she's dropping a new album and I think that she does a collab song with Cardi B on it and that comes out on Friday

and I am so excited about this new album. It's called Rumors but man talk about doing a great job with like this PR of leading up to the album drop is beautiful. It's like Lil Nas X you have to just be so fucking good at that social media game on this level

little bit. Because you also, it's so easy in one of these publicity pushes where you're like doing a bunch of those media stuff. We talk about it time and time again on the show to like show your whole ass. Ah, pun intended. During, during the rollout and then somebody like finds some loophole. But it's people like, yeah, Lizzo, Lil Nas X just absolutely kill it. I will also say as much as I love these albums that have been coming out lately because it's just so good to get new music, everybody's putting out that kind of like

morose quarantine album. And I like, I connect with it. But also So Lizzo, please bring the party back. I need the party to come back. I think she's going to bring the party back. I was just listening to the New Billie Irish. And it's awesome, but I'm just like, put a, can I sleep? Lay in a forest until I die from heartbreak. That's how I felt listening to it.

I'm bellaing myself. I'm going to have a one final Blair Witch sexual encounter and then I'm going to do a Bella in the forest right after. Yeah, I definitely need that because like the other night I was like, oh, I'm like, the kids are in bed, I'm going to make dinner, like I'm feeling good, I'm in a good mood, I'm going to listen to some new music. And I'm like, since I'm consistently bad at listening to new music, like the new music that I know I really like is the Olivia Rodriguez album. So I was just like, yeah, let's listen to the new music.

I'm so proud of you listening to it though. Yeah, I'm not at myself too because I so struggle with integrating new music. But then, of course, I went from being like, yeah, let's do it to just being like, you didn't cheat, so you're still a trade. Oh, you're still a trick. That song, MJ. It's so good. I keep thinking about that song too.

Cry to, cried to already. I thought you were going to bring up the Hope You're Okay song, which is just, oh my, that's another one. If you listen to the lyrics, MJ, it's just like, oh. And MJ, I will say maybe you don't get to experience this for a little while longer, but now that I am a car person to scream, sing the Olivia Rodriguez album, Alone in the Car is a very enjoyable occasion. Yeah, well, that's, I actually, the other day, like, just went out. I hadn't done this.

I think, I don't know, for a very long time, maybe the whole pandemic. I just was like, I'm just going to go out by myself and sit outside at a bar and have a drink. Fuck yeah. And it was great. You know, Gideon was home with the kids, didn't leave the children at home alone. I had coverage. Oh, they're three and two. They're fine.

They can figure it out. And, you know, I had been out by myself and stuff, but it was just like the act of being like, it's nighttime. I want to go sit at a bar. I'm going to do it. and I was walking around listening to music, and it felt so good. And I had done that. You know, obviously, it's like, I have done that throughout the pandemic. But, like, having, like, having had one drink and walking around and listening to music is just like, oh, yeah.

But driving is even better because then you get to sing. Obviously, then you can't be drunk, but you trade drinking for singing. I miss the being drunk and walking, though, listening to music. That is something I really miss. Yeah. And singing along to it, too, when you're really, that drunk, you don't care anymore. And you know, one of the best things about, you know, New York, which can be one of the sad, can be one of the saddest things.

They always talk about how, you know, it can be the most lonely place in the world. But really, people don't give a fuck about you at all. So what's awesome is, in that sense, is you can just liberally cry on the subway train. No one's going to bother you. Everyone's going to give you space. It was like the third week that I lived in L.A. And I was walking and crying like I do. And someone stopped me and asked me if I was okay.

And I was like, get the fuck away. And I'm so like, I hate L.A. I hate that people care about me, even though they don't fucking know me. Even though Jackie, that's actually really nice. It's very nice. When you're like, I was ugly, sad. Like, I was sad. I don't want anyone to talk to me either, though.

I don't want anyone to get near me. And it's not that I'm ashamed or anything. I'm just crying on the street. Leave me alone. No, but New York will sometimes surprise you because, like, usually the people will leave you alone, and that's what you want, and it's great. But also one time I was like crying a lot on the subway and a guy just walked by and just like stopped, bent down, gave me a huge hug and then just kept walking. Like it was so sweet.

And then there are times when you need those, when you need that connection and somebody like you put it out there and somebody takes it and does just the right amount. Yeah. And it's like, oh, thank you to those people. I try to be one of those people when around other people, but it is scary because then also, you know, who knows? What if he tried to hug you and you were like, what if you flip the fuck out? And there's also that possibility. And like, I also want to reach out and like, you know,

when I see someone in a customer service that's having like a really bad day and I just want to like, I try to do the like reach out of like, hey, like I see you. You're working really fucking hard. You're killing it. But also sometimes you don't fucking want that. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes. I think the best thing, I heard this from someone else, but the best thing I think, just slide him like a little like, piece of chocolate or something. Because that not only just says, like, I hear you, I get you, and here's like a little something maybe that'll help. But there's a razor blade inside it. There's piss. Oh, there's, yeah, there's definitely something inside of it. Well, there's definitely piss on it. Yeah, but that's because I'm really into piss play these days. I don't know if you guys

do that about me, but please Lizzo bring back the party. I'm ready for it. I know that we're sort of tightening back up maybe and loosening out a little bit, but you know what? Fake it till you make it. I'll have a two-person party, hopefully, well, three-person party here. about a week or so hopefully. Yeah. Because also, again, this is Holden's last show with us for a bit. For a minute. And I am going to be sad about it.

But I do wonder, something that we missed out on the last couple of weeks that, you know what I was kind of fine with it, is the fact that there's a lot of white celebrities not bathing your children. Yeah, we've got to talk about this. What is that about? It was the number one. And themselves. It's crazy because it was everywhere when it comes to it.

So even though we were off, of course, a lot. the reading stuff. I like to stay abreast of what's going on. Every single website that I always look at, it was the number one story where, again, you know when you're hitting the real meat of a summer when all of the celebrities are on vacation, of that this is the hot topics. And also, a lot of this started from a conversation on the podcast, which that's all, again, when you know that there's not a whole fucking lot going on is when people, that the hot, stories are coming from, I think that it was straight up from Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell's pot. Oh no, it started with Milakunis

and Ashton Cutcher. That's what it's was. Yes. It started with an interview with them. Yes, it started with them. And meanwhile, Dex, Dex, Shepard and Kristen Bell actually, I think, like, are like a pretty fun example of like celebrity parents. They've got like a lot of really good stories. And they're very open. I'd like to, like when he fell off the wagon, when Dax Shepard went back into rehab and them being really open with how they spoke to their kids about it and how they dealt with it and then how it wasn't just like it wasn't just something that we looked at and just kind of threw away or like acted as if the kids wouldn't know no they included them in

the conversation to an appropriate extent I actually I really like following them and what they have to say about relationships and parenting well especially too when they've when he and then when he fell off an actual wagon and they were like this is what the wagon was used for it was wagon for taking our horses from the front of the house to the back of the house and he fell off and they were just incredibly they had diagrams of how the wagon misfunctioned misfunctioned this is holden he speaks words here's the thing about ashen kutcher amy lacunas though and i'm not trying to get myself canceled but you do not have to bathe your kids every single day yeah but also they were to they went they took it too far and they just took it too far because they want to be

provocative, just like Jake Gyllenhaal. Just clean yourself, man. And obviously, if you're an adult, yeah, they keep being like, when I smell my own rock, I step up to the top. It's like, dude, just fucking shut up. Like, it's gross. Kids don't, you know, if your kids, don't smell, don't, obviously, we all remember that, like, you don't smell and sweat the same way when you are a kid as when you are an adult. But they do also play in the dirt a lot. So you have to, you know, counterbalance those things. But when you're like a new parent, you feel like, oh my God, do I have to like do this incredibly intense thing. Because at first, when you start bathing kids,

it's like, this is like, they scream. It's like a whole deal. And you associate like, oh, nice bath time before bedtime. And then it's like they're screaming. There's water everywhere. It's like a huge. And but then it's like when I was meeting parents and there were like, you know, more experienced parents

and they're like, you can bathe your kids like a couple times a week. It's fine. Like, yeah. And so everyone being like, this call ACS on Ashton Cutser, I was like, okay, everybody needs to relax a little bit. People are saying that. Especially when it comes to, as someone, I don't have my own children, but I was a nanny

for many years, there is a reason why oft times they leave the bathing of children to the nannies. It's because it's not fun. It's not fun. And that's what I think that people that are doing the like, how dare you leave your children dirty, have never had to deal with

the process of washing. Either children, especially multiple children at a time. At a time. And you think, again, you think all these people who are like, bath time is part of our sweet nightly bedtime ritual. Maybe it would be so sweet if I had been doing it every single night for all this time. But I'm like, it is so messy. They always, it always ends up with like fighting. They're screaming when they get out because they're cold. Like, even if I have the towels right there, it's like a, it takes an hour,

you know, between like getting them in and out and lotion and hair combed. And it's like a whole production. And so I think that we don't need to hold cleaning children to the same standards as adults. That said, Jake Gyllenhaal, what is wrong with you? I mean, let's talking about ourselves for a second. Now, full disclosure, right? I'm a guy who showers, I mean, I'm a sweaty person. So I shower pretty much every single day. There may be the very rare, and it happens more often during the winter. And I enjoy going a single day without showering if I literally don't sweat at all, stay in a completely like maintained state and I'll still like probably watch my face

I'll be washing my hands throughout the day all that good stuff as well and teeth of course as well that is a definite given twice a day right I mean that's where I'm at just wanted to throw it out there but yeah it's kind of crazy to me but I also get jealous because I'm like I have a sweating problem so there's unavoidable for me

also I work out though you know yeah Jake and Jake is probably working out right that's the gross part that's the gross part now that I think about it That's the part that's making me the most upset. There's also, we have to acknowledge because there's definitely like a racial undertone to this, correct? I saw that in the article about the rock. Well, it's because then it's like, you know,

it's Cardi B says, what's up? What's up? What's up? People saying they don't shower. It's given itchy. I also, and I do see as someone that I'm, I'm a shower person. Yeah.

Also, it feels too much. It feels great. It feels great. It's the best part of the day. Do you not like sensory pleasure? Like, why would you not shower? I got a Bluetooth, speaker just to enjoy it more.

Like, I just love it. It's great. Yeah. Like, I'm sure all their showers are fucking incredible. Like, I have, like, a nasty New York City shower that, like, doesn't drain fast enough. And it's, like, so old that no matter how much you scrub it, it's never quite clean enough. You know, it's just like, it's, and I love, it's, like, my happiest place. And these people probably have huge ass size of this apartment, walk in showers with, like,

multiple shower heads and places to sit, you know, spend some time in there. Have that. I do also like, even though we know here, even though I love him very much, that Jason Mamoa is someone that is, it does seem not where, he's not big into wearing, um, you know, the bad kind of deodorant, which I understand. So he does, I think, come off as a stinky person. But he even says, I'm not starting any trends. I shower. Trust me. I shower. I'm Aquaman. I'm in the fucking water. Don't worry about it. I'm Hawaiian. We got salt water on me. I'm good. That is such a great response to someone in person asking him if he showers a lot, where he's essentially like, get the fuck away from me.

What do you want me to say? Why are you asking me? And then there's just, you know, the perfect rock. The rock. And of course, the rock says he's, quote, the opposite of a not washing themselves, celeb. But you also have to remember, too, like what Holden brought up earlier, he works out like two or three times a day.

Yeah. Of course he's watching himself. So the Twitter exchange was the rock tweeted out that he showers three times a day. And then somebody was like, this is maybe even weirder than not showering. And then the rock replied and was like, not weird at all. I work out. I work a 12-hour shift. And then, yeah, I work out again.

I can't remember it's like three times. Very easy to understand. And he just like totally shut this guy down. Well, yeah. The only extra one is the one in the morning. But he does that. It's just a wake-up. and everybody has their wake-up routine.

He does like a cold shower to wake up, which also... That's right, because he does cold, lukewarm, and hot. That is a little bit weird. I love him. Yes, my cold shower... That's just how fucking regimen of that guy is. My cold shower in the morning is a half an hour of looking at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit.

That is my cold shower in the morning. I lay in bed in the dark. I go through all four of those apps, and then I'm ready to start the day, and I'm either better for it or most times way worse for it. That's why I missed the Rock app. I wish that the Rock clock would come back, because then the Rock has to keep you, like then it's keeping you on his schedule.

You get up, you get in the shower, you work out, you shower, you eat, you work out. I could never imagine living that life. But I think that it's, I'm very proud of him that that is his life. And as someone that watched him recently grow three sizes in one franchise, um, while watching The Fast and the Furious, it's crazy. how big he's gotten, and then we went to go see Jungle Cruise. I'm just like, Jesus Christ, he's just so big. Then also it's

acknowledged, too, that this is, I think, a weird white person thing. Yeah, I think it's like a white guy thing specifically because it's like, there's like, you know, girls are socialized to be like, you're disgusting, no matter what you do, so you better shower. I mean, it's true, though, like, I mean, it's a little true, right? Everybody was going on. Whoa. I mean, you know, I also, one of the things I loved about the rock the most was like, yeah, I work a 12-hour shift and then I want to come home

and shower, because I also, I like, I'm a big fan of shower at the beginning of the day and shower at the end of the day, different purposes. Shower at the beginning to get clean, shower at the end of the day to like let it go, you know? And I don't know what it is about white guys where they take pride and not doing something you're supposed to do. It's just inherent contrarianism. I mean, I feel he's also just like an L.A. person thing, like a weird, like I got to be, switch it up and be me in this dumb way. Well, and what was Jake Gyllenhaal's thing? It was like your skin naturally cleans itself.

That does sound like some L.A. shit. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about, that exact part of it, where he's like, the body naturally secretes. What do you talk? What person, I see the person at the oil shop that he was at telling him this. He didn't be like, yeah, he's wearing like the biggest dumbest sunglasses ever. He's wearing like those carnival ones, you know what I mean?

He's just like, yeah, he's not painted. Kids, like, climbing up a big rack. He's about to break his neck. He's like, yeah, yeah, the dust secret. I read that on fucking lumier.com. Like, so some dumb website e-fall. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Just all these people, right? You go to the sandwich shop. They're at the sandwich shop. You go to the juice store. They're at the juice store. No, I am, I'm actually, juice, not juiced. By the way, it's a juice store. There's a lot of juice stores in L.A.

But either way, that's what they say. I love my brethren. And I love my pregnant wife who's given me a top off of my coffee that I texted her about a little while ago. Thank you. But I think that I would, I just always think about the video that the rock, when he went to go, he wanted to go work out in the morning

and he saw the hawk eating the snake out in front of his door. That was gnarly. And all he's like, I guess I can't work out. But I am going to watch this hawk eat this snake. And it just makes me fall more and more in love with him. between that and oh god damn the jungle cruise was damn delightful mj you should go see it it's delightful yeah i'll see jungle cruise that sounds like what i need right now

i think it is what you need right now and i don't think that you're going to be getting the three showers a day that the rock gets to have no that's yeah i don't even i don't have a kid yet and i can't fathom doing three a day i definitely do you know one after the world i like that midday shower ooh and then you put those jammies on at night you put i put socks on once you have a kid a shower power becomes like currency. Way more emotionally

like loaded. Charging. Yeah. You're deprived of them for so. It's so hard to get one in daily at first that they become, or at least for me, my relationship with showering. I always loved it. But like it, I love it.

Just so many factors more now since parenthood because it's just like becomes this incredibly like when you, oh my God, when I had. and I was a C-section on Friday. I think I don't think I got to shower until either Sunday or Monday because I, like, you can't stand up for the first, like, however many hours and I was real sick or whatever. So anyway, and I had to sit, I had like, I had to have like a shower chair because I still wasn't good to stand. But I, like, sat in the little shower chair in the hospital, took a shower.

To this day, best shower of my entire life. Like, nothing makes the heart grow fonder than showers except for Jake Gyllenhaal than not having them. I think he's confusing this self-cleaning thing with how you should not shampoo your hair every day. And that's true. Or get inside of your pussy. Like how you don't supposed to put anything inside of your pussy.

That's true. Because he is also naturally self-cleaning. Yes. And how you should put something up your asshole while you shower just to make sure that it properly clean and stretched. Yeah, so I don't understand that. I am not a bath person for sure. But I can see myself being coming one after the kids come.

Kid comes. We don't necessarily are going to have multiple. Oh, no, I want to know the real answer now, Holden. Are you going to have more children after this? We have had this discussion, actually, and I will tell you that if I'm making far more money in about two years or so, or I guess maybe a year from now, at least we will check in if I am just really making substantially more money to justify that. But I feel like, seriously, you can't, I mean, isn't that the thing, though, that like a lot of I thought parents, a lot of boomers, like,

didn't actually have a discussion about it. I was like, hey, do we even have the money for this? Yeah, but then that's what they say. When I say this to my mom and I'm like, I don't know if, like, I can financially handle it. She's like, you find a way. You figure it out. You always find a way.

And it was like, I do want to find it. Like, I like what you're saying. This is the secret, Jackie. All you have to do is just disappoint them every Christmas. Never be able to give them anything that they wanted to list. And that's why I'm so nervous. I'm going to be the disappointment. I'm going to do it.

You see those cardboard boxes in the corner right there? Those are shoes. Those are dresses. Those are gloves. There's everything you need. You just cut them up and you tape them together. Oh, I thought I was going to be Cinderella. I thought you meant that she was going to dress me

and then I get to go into the ball. And then I marry a secret prince. I mean, yeah, that too, obviously. Geez, whatever. My God. Dude, I stink like shit after an afternoon of not shit. Anyways, I just is crazy, man. smell myself. I'm ripe. You don't even have to clean your own shower when you're that rich.

I think it just must be that your life is so nice when you are that rich, like that you don't need material sensory pleasure. You're so air conditioned. Yeah. Everywhere you go, there's just, they literally blow, the bodyguards blow air on your face as you walk from the house into your fancy escalade that is going to drive you to the airport. They blow on your face to keep you cool. This is my thing. I mean, I'm at least, it's a little bit better out here, sort of, but if I'm outside for more than 10 minutes, I am sweating, I am disgusted, I will be speaking to a doctor about this as soon as I can get my primary position. Yeah, more real life shit. The listeners, that's what you gotta hear these days, okay? I've got a car

payment. I've got... No, stop! This is our... We forget about all that when we're here, and we're here to just yell about Snoop Dog and Kevin Hart, giving their commentations. for the Olympics because I'm very upset. You know what? I want to say that I'm very upset that we weren't putting out current content during the Olympics, but it was a very surreal Olympics to watch. I don't know if you guys, I watched a lot of it. It was fun, man. I mean, first of all, how could you do it to no audience, though?

All I could think of was that, like, part of what, you know, in watching, of course, what happened with Simone Biles and how open than she was. And all that I could think is that when I was watching the qualifying events, And I was like, how hard must it be to not hear the roar of people watching you? And I know that for some that that would probably put them off. But as a performer, obviously, I'm not as Simone Biles. But I feel like there's a difference between running through like a cue to queue on a stage and running through something and then doing it to the roar of people. Right.

And it puts you in a different mindset. So if your mind is already like, you know, so much was on top of her. She was under so much like emotional weight as well as like, and then of course the other things that were coming out about what she was dealing with. And then on top of it to do it to nobody. And I know there's some people there, but it's not the same. Yeah. I also, right.

It's tough because it, right, it feels like, I mean, I'm glad that the Olympics happened. I didn't watch as much as I wished that I had, but I always enjoy it. But it was like, I feel like there was, it's kind of like everything right now, kind of cloud over it. Like, should this be happening? Right, right.

So I feel like for U.S. gymnasts who have very specific reasons to feel that the Olympic committee specifically does not care about them, to then be like, also now you're doing it a pandemic. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, M.J. Dirty Pandy has something to say. Oh, right. She should have as an American stuck with it. She should be a winner for her country.

And not to take care of her own mental health. I should know I sit on a couch all day and book myself. I don't do anything physical, but I'm here to have an opinion on Simone Biles. But I'm careful about what I put into my body. Shoutouts to T. Swift, by the way, with that beautiful. little video speech thing. I thought that to wearing those dirty panties on those make her make.

She leaves her making the pandi. She showers for sure at least once a day. Definitely. Although she did say, who did I learn this? She did say that she was asked, I should find, I'll just find it, she was asked, do you wash your legs? This was an earlier, this was like wave one of the do you clean yourself this course. That's so weird.

Because, you know, there was, it was trending for a while. This was like, I don't know, maybe even pre-pandemic, there was a like, do you wash your legs thing on Twitter? And everyone, again, a lot of people of color were like, why would you not? And a lot of white, it did seem to break down a long race where a lot of white people were like, not always. And then a lot of people of color like, excuse me?

And so somebody asked Taylor Swift if she washed her legs. And I believe she said, well, I have to shave my legs. She said, I do because when you shave your legs, the shaving cream is like soap, right? So that counts? Good. I'm on the right side of history then. So actually, this is a bit suspect here.

It's a bit, I think you gotta go soap and then shaving cream, Taylor Swift. I don't think that the shaving cream counts as soap. No, I don't think so. At least it's something. It's certainly better than Jake Gyllenhaal. But that said, wash your legs with soap, people. Yes, and a part of your body.

Yes. Yes. The only part that you don't want to put soap is inside your vagina. Yes. But there's other things you can put in there. Oh, man. You can find so many things.

I forgot about this washing your legs thing. That was in 2019. That's how insane of our brain has just compounded everything that's happened of like, no, that happened two months ago, right? Yeah, I think that was two months ago. I have no fucking clue anymore. Going back to the Olympics, can I just say, I can't believe it took this long for skateboarding to get added to the competition.

And at the same time, I just mystified by speedwalking. I love that it is a part of it. But it is the dumbest fuck competition. Thanks to Ben Kessel for posting it because I didn't know that that was a thing. And I was like, did Ben like, like, I was like, it was so funny. I was like, this must be fake. And I was like, there's no way Ben could have faked this. Like, this can't be a deep fake.

Yeah, no, it's real. I did not know. Please look up, though, if you have not watched it yet, speedwalking Olympics. And man, they are doing the most. I feel like I should always be walking like that because you get the most out of your walk. You, like, tight. I know there's specific rules about, like, the heels touching the ground, but I'm like, they are running, man.

Like, they are just running. Honestly, it's more controlled running. You holding your body like that, that's got to be hard to do. It makes no sense. You should watch it, if only to have the mental experience of thinking, like, what? What's happening right now? Because how can you try to go that fast without running? Like, imagine being in an athletic prison where you, you know.

are like, I'm supposed to go as fast as I can, but also I can't run. And that's the rules of this. And then you make it to the Olympics following this nonsensical rule. It's also, it's called race walking. Race walking. Speedwalking. It is called race walking.

Sounds like a game that fourth graders would make up. You know, it'd be like, okay, whoever gets to this end of the playground, but you can't run. You have to run. Tiny steps. It reminds me of, have you ever watched a slow biking competition? where they try to be the slowest biking. Oh, no, that's awesome.

Yeah, but do you ever do in spin classes when you got to do it really slow and controlled? That's when your muscles are like... Because it's like yoga, right? It kind of goes into a yoga territory because you're like sustaining position. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it.

But I also, though, it made my heart sing because of Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart, giving commentary over equestrian events. And you guys know, I have a love for dressage. I think that I feel bad for what happens to the horses, and I probably should. But I really like dressage, but watching them watch the equestrian event. And that Kevin Archer just goes, this horse is off the chain. And Snoop said, I got to get this motherfucker in a video.

Motherfucker was off the chain. Just talking really intense about watching this fucking horse. Snoop had obviously never seen Drassage. And so he was like super surprised. And yeah, the first thing he does, he goes, that horse is grip walking. And they were just like dying. Like, and it was so, it was like to watch Snoop Dog discover dressage on air for the first time.

That's amazing. That was a quite a highlight for me from the Olympics. I was so over the moon for it. Because you know what? I always get upset sometimes at the commentary because oftentimes it is people that, you know, people that used to be Olympians giving the commentary. And sometimes I think they're a little harsh on the people that are performing. And so I just sat and then I started yelling at the commentary, like on the commentators while

I'm watching the clips of like, give them a fucking break. They're going through a lot. I don't understand why people are looking at this as like, these are people that just also went through a pandemic. And think of where your fucking brain's at right now. are you able to go and perform a sport globally? No! Give them more ups for going all the way there,

having to deal with all this shit with masks on, being scared, and also having, you were, they were ready last year. Yeah. I need to have an extra year. Yeah. And they're completely devoid of come because of Olympic Village.

They've got no spark. You know what I mean? There's no fucking in the Olympic Village. Absolutely drained. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And not a little experience was not.

Not the same as theirs commentator. So everyone just relax and be nicer to them. Because yeah, you didn't have to delay this a year. You didn't have to not fuck when you were there. You didn't have to be terrified of getting COVID, which many people got. You know what we need? I got the solution. Momentators.

We get the athletes' mothers to get on the mic. And then they'll be like, you know what? She tried her best. And I love my little girl. I would love to watch Momentaters. But also only the good Momentators. because you also don't want the ones that are like, my kid will never be good enough.

Yeah. Yeah, the dance, no dance moms allowed. It's got to be supportive. No, it's like a Mighty Ducks 2 situation. I don't, I can't watch Eastland go through that again. I love the Mighty Ducks too. Well, I love fucking celebrity conspiracies.

You better get used to it. Do you believe it? Ashton Coucher being a CIA double agent? A stinky one. How could he be a double agent when he stinks? Speaking of Ashton. from a mile away. Hiding in plain sight, MJ.

It's bad at being a spy, I guess. You can't smell. If you ever been around somebody who doesn't shower, you can smell them. Oh my God. If you can't see them, you can smell them. Yeah. You know.

I've said this to you before, too, of it is hair smell. When I smell someone's hair, and like, it doesn't happen as much anymore, but in New York when you're pressed on top of people, you know when you're on a subway, and you're pressed up against someone, you're like, you haven't washed your hair

in a long time. And I'm not telling people, like talking about people that have gone through the no poo process. I mean, you know exactly what I mean. And especially when you know people that have gotten their hair dyed and they don't want the dye to go too quickly. So they're like, oh, I'm not going to wash my hair anymore. And then you smell their hair. I feel like I know you're talking about. I'm talking about any person that doesn't wash their hair properly.

I feel like this is the, you have found the one thing I don't miss about life before the pandemic. Yeah, before pandemic is being pressed against someone. Because the thing is that I do actually already, before you even give me why he is an undercover person, Ashton Coucher, he did co-found that company where he actually, he does a lot of work against child sex trafficking. Yes, they watched a, him and Demi watched a documentary about child trafficking, and then they were just like, that's our thing. And then they like went into that really hard. At least they're doing the thing, though. Yeah, totally. I agree.

works for the CIA. Oh, no. It wouldn't even be that bad, I guess, actually. And if we watch Riverdale this week, which you know we're gonna, we know about bad CIA. Oh, my little Riverdale is back. I'm not ready. Oh, my God. So this one comes in from Haley.

Thank you so much for writing into the page seven podcast Gmail account. That's page the number seven podcast at gmail.com. Ashton Coucher, famous star from that 70s show. And even more importantly, punked. A show that works in deception and live. may very well be dropping hints that he is an active member of the CIA for the past two decades. Isn't that fucking interesting, you fuckers? Whoa.

Olly Breeland at Mother Jones has the scoop after seeing an insta post of two tweets from Cuchar from the past. This is the tweet from 2009. Spent the afternoon picking the brain of a former CIA guy. It really makes you wonder if anything you come in contact with is not manipulated. Tweet in 2018. Just sending out a morning shout to the men and women of the in. intelligence community that keep us safe and protect our country. Hashtag gratitude, hashtag TY.

That could mean thank you. That could mean tell you. He really did a hashtag gratitude post for the CIA. Hashtag gratitude. Hashtagged TY with a photo of a haggard pick of Coocher drinking his morning Joe out of a CIA mug. Oh, no. How do you get a mug if you don't work there? This is a scandal even if it's not a conspiracy.

See, why are you just tweeting your love and appreciation of the The CIA. What on earth is wrong with you? I think we need to get him one of my favorite mugs, which has a cow on it. It says, moo, bitch, get out the hay. And I think that that's the mug you should be drinking out of. Damn, I wish I had more of the names offhand, but there's somebody's sent us a really funny dog celebrity mug, and it's just a bunch of celebrity dogs, like Dolly barked in or something

like that. Oh, I love it. My favorite, though, is that Snoop Dog's just Snoop Dogg. But it's just a dog that looks like Snoop Dogg. Everybody else has like their name slightly altered to be a dog pun, but Snoop Dogg's just Snooptock. It's very funny. So then Breland found a video of Twitter that went viral with Coochre explaining on a podcast called American Optimist how TikTok may in fact be a Chinese sciop to influence Americans. Coocher said, if I'm China and I want to think about a problem in that area of the world, specifically a naval problem in that area of the world in the South China Sea, I would probably want to use TikTok to influence the minds of Americans and anti-U.S. propaganda.

anti-Taiwanese propaganda effort to make any kind of war from the United States is surely unpopular in order to defend the South China Sea. What do you know? Coucher! Oh, no, he's got to know so much. South China C, what are you pulling that?

Could you imagine pulling that out of your ass? I mean, he's got to know, he's got to be in cahoots. Yeah. Somehow, this is the most damning evidence of them all. Lastly, on the red carpet for the film, The Spy Who Dumped Me, Milakunus was asked how she'd react if she found out Ashton Kutra was a spy and she replied, I'd be like, I knew it. I wouldn't put it past him.

He also has multiple jobs, like, not everything adds up where I'm like, what do you really do? What is the office you claim to go to? And why is there many different locations to this office? If you don't, this message will self-destruct in five seconds. Five, four. If you can't account for your husband's whereabouts, I think he might be cheating. You? Yes, I think that was actually him cheating on.

MJ? No, he is in the CIA. And I don't understand why you can't believe this wife right now. Oh, well, my spy husband just like never texts me back when he's out. It's so interesting. And then he hides his phone whenever I try to look at it. Must be the CIA. He's a secret prince, definitely.

All of those locations are romantic love hotels. I don't understand what he does there. There must be a business center at the love hotel. I mean, it's a hotel, but. Still. They have to be a business that he's working out of. It just might have like a really good hourly rate to use the internet. Yes.

And there's, there's nothing wrong with that. So, um, as someone that has lied to myself about, um, a cheating partner before. I mean,

I get it. Wouldn't it be great if he is in the CIA, though? Right. Too dumb. I mean, I don't trust the CIA. Is it because of the trucker hats?

Is that why? Isn't he just a dumbass? How are you're defending him and the amount that he bays his kids. No, I guess he's fine. I guess we like Ashton Kutcher, right? Not bathing your kids is absolutely a smokescreen, undeniable. CIA, I believe it, with a bullet. What do you think, Jackie?

I think that he's in the CIA. And MJ, you firmly believe he's too stupid to be a member of the CIA. Oh, it's not that. I think they would take him. I guess that's that I don't think I want him to be in the thing. You know what? I'll say, yeah, because it would, who better to hide and play in sight than, you know, a famous dumbass.

I do also want to say he recently was in that trial from the Hollywood Ripper because he was dating one of the victims of this serial killer. And he was in the trial, I guess, oh my God, this is also 2019. Man, my brain really just compounds the last year and a half. So maybe he wasn't on there because he was dating one of the victims. Maybe it's because he was the insider of the CIA that was trying to try. track down the Hollywood Ripper. Too far?

Yeah, that was too far. Oh, okay, that was too far. All right, well, I still think he's in the CIA. Well, that's your celebrity conspiracy, and if you don't like it, you can go to a zoo. That's my new sign-off line. Go to a zoo. Actually, don't go to a zoo. It's kind of depressing.

Yeah, don't go to a zoo. Yeah, if you don't like it, you can go to a pool and swim. Yeah, I like that, or go to, like, an open-air rehab. center for animals. If you don't like it, you can go to a big open clown's mouth. Oh, no. Yeah, that you walk inside that tortures you when you go in. No, get I shit in its mouth?

If you don't like it. Your kid is going to be like, my dad says the weirdest saying. It's like other people's dad say like, go take a walk, but my dad goes on these long detailed, violent descriptions about what you should do. If you don't like it, you can grow your legs too long. No, you're going to, I don't want to be stretching. But don't worry, if you don't like it, you can listen to the list. Oh!

Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Ooh, this is 16 times celebrity exes played love interests in TV shows and movies. Because Naomi Watts and Leib Schreiber ended their 11-year relationship in 2016. But then they had to play spouses in Chuck the following year. I think I found this list and I got really lost in it because of the idea, which I know that neither one of you guys care about, but because in Twilight, one of the female werewolves has to listen to inside of the brain

of the man wolf that she loves who imprinted on someone else and fell in love with someone else. So he broke up with her. And then she has to hear inside of his brain all the time while he thinks about his new love. And he thinks about other people. and he doesn't think about her. And can you imagine how fucked your brain would be if you had to listen to the person that broke your heart inside of their brain falling in love with someone else?

Yeah, that's awful. But I bet it wasn't as bad as Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, who dated from 2003 to 2007, and then they reunited to play Elizabeth Halsey and Scott Delacourt and Bad Teacher in 2011. I will say, just throwing it out there, definitely had a bit of a hookup

in college, sophomore year, and with one of the ladies in my acting class, and wouldn't you know it, right after things got awkward and we sort of didn't continue to go up, we are assigned a romantic scene in a park together for acting class.

And I had to, like, roll around with her in this acting class in little bike shorts. Did you have makeup sex? No, we definitely were just like, all right, well, now it's awkward and now we're doing this as well to make it even more awkward.

I mean, at least, Physically we were like, well, we've already rolled around, so we know how to do that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. That's got to be a lot. Oh, yeah, that sounds like an actual old nightmare. Just add to one of the most just awkward, like my time at college acting school was just wall-to-wall that shit.

It was just constant, awkward, embarrassing. Well, of course, it's already the more, like, one of the more hormone-driven parts of your life in a big transition of growing up. Yeah. On top of the fact that you're alone for the first. first time away from your parents if you went to a college and like living on campus. And then on top of that, you're also drunk. Of course you're going to be making weird decisions and just doing things to be like,

well, I guess I got to learn a lesson. And you did learn the lesson, which is try not to bang other theater people in your circle. And not a lesson that Lily Reinhard and Cole Spouse learned. Are they on the list? Of course they're on the list, MJ. It would be remissive they weren't on the list because how? difficult that has to be. Although I guess maybe I do wonder if part of the, you know, moving forward, the fact that they're not together in the time jump, I do wonder if that is something to do with it.

Not that the writers, I think the writers are more thinking about ratings more than the feelings of the young actors that work for them. But let's hope that maybe that is the case. Because maybe you could make demands. If you're not just holding in sophomore year and you're like, Lily Reinhart, maybe you could be like, I refuse to. to kiss that guy on screen, you know? I mean, I don't think I could. And I mean, I didn't even know this. So, Joshua!

Joshua from Friends, because I always love how she said his name Joshua. And I didn't know that Jennifer Aniston and Tate Donovan dated from 1995 to 1998. And then he got cast as Rachel's boyfriend and friends. And that's, and especially after dating for three years like that, and then having to just jump in and being like, I'm this huge. television star on this, on my show, and you're going to come on and play my love interest for, I don't even remember, it was probably like, there was a good amount of episodes with him in it. And that's got, you mentioned walking onto that set the first day, being like, this is her house,

and I'm just visiting, and I just got to get through it. And man, I bet you hope that that ended amicably. And because I think I also say this as someone that, like, I'm bad at ending things amicably, if you could imagine. Well, that's what I was going to say. Like, there's definitely relationships or hookups or whatever where if I, like, had to work with them again, I'd be like, oh, right on. Like, that's, you know, like, fun. But those are much rarer.

And also, you don't have to, you don't have to fake being in a relationship at this job situation you're referring to. No, but I mean, if I had to do, if I had to, if I was, if my work was being Rachel on friends, like, if I had to be like, oh, okay, I have to, like kiss you and be in a fake relationship with you again, there are a half, a small handful of people who I used. to smooch who I would be like, okay, that's fine. Right. But it's much, that is, I think, a admirable place to have ended a relationship, but more of mine do not end that way, right? No.

You can also throw it out here that, isn't this the ultimate, like, actor, like, should we, should we, should we? Like, kind of a dramatic thing, they actually deep down super love this situation where they're like, oh, I must now perform in a scene with the one that I love. Yes. Look at me.

Of course I would have weirdly enjoyed it. Yeah, exactly. I also would have loved just the attention of doing that. Right. And everyone being like, I know it's got to be so hard. Like, you don't even know. You don't even know how hard it is to get through. But honestly, like you were discussing, MJ, though,

I does see that Justin Long and Drew Barrymore had that type of thing, which would make sense because I hear that both of them are just genuinely nice people. And they started dating after 2007 when they, they were in that movie, he's just not that into you. And they broke up in 2008. And then they reunited again during the movie going the distance that, I believe that was that weird baseball movie, right? And then they broke up for good again.

So I imagine it was just like, but when we're around each other, it's electric. Yeah. And this is awesome. And like they both seem like such fun people to be around that I imagine it would be difficult to not fall back into that. Oh, and it's fun to have a person like that where you're like, we're not together anymore, but whenever we are in the same room, we still make eyes at each other. to make eyes at each other.

That's kind of thrilling. It seems like if you listen to the Say Anything episode that we did, that John Cusack and Ione Sky kind of had that for years. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. That's awesome. They didn't bang while doing it, but then they just kind of like meet up and hang out and then go their separate ways.

I like to that, yeah, they would even better. Yeah, just every few years get together and have one fun, like, rendezvous. Like hang out for a weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah. How sexy is. so hot. I love that way better than like, oh, then they dated, then it didn't work out. Yeah, because it does make sense, you know, like in the O.C. and in Gossip Girl, this is at

the time period that I remember that it was like, Rachel Bilsen and Adam Brody were dating on the O.C. I was big into watching the O.C. in high school. And I never really got into Gossip Girl, but I have been starting to watch it. I started from the beginning, which, man, it is a blast from the past. And Blake Lively and Penn Badgley dated from 2007 until 2010, because again, you're around these people all the time. Yeah. And when you're on a hit show and you're doing all this promo shit together and you're young and you're hot, why not? Penn Badgley, man.

I'll date him if you insist. Okay. Yeah, okay, all right. Okay. Well, that's great, MJ, because you're up on the docket. And I can't wait to see your love blossom, but that's it for the list for right now. Oh, my God. I'm British now.

Oh, are you sighted? Oh, no. And I think me, grazzies is going blind. Or items, isn't it? Oh. We can't see them. I turn out of. Oh, no.

Oh, no. That's right. British-themed blind items this week. Actually, now that I'm scanning all of the answers, none of these people are British. But let's just pretend they are. Oh. So here we go. We'll start with this.

This illiterate talk show host from an ensemble cast thought she had another job lined up. It fell through. So now she is trying to come across as more mainstream and approachable. A show y'all want to be on. Megan McCain. Yes.

Yeah. We need to replace Megan McCain on the view. All I can think of was Wendy Williams. But Wendy Williams wasn't in the show. Ensemble cast, too. Isn't that interesting, though? Do you believe this? A job fell through.

And now she's like, uh-huh. Ooh, about the way I've been. I'm Ellen now. I definitely believe that. I definitely can see it. Because she's just like, she was the Elizabeth Hasselbeck,

but is like much worse times, incredibly. I will watch it anymore. I don't watch any of it anymore because I'm just like, this is, ugh, this is yucky. Yeah, it's not fun anymore. And she is, you know, She's like the big, it's not Regina George and Mean Girls,

who's my father, the inventor of, you know. Postits. Yeah. Of Roomy and Michelle. Yes. Isn't it funny how, like, what is it about, it's just so frustrating to me that this is not true for anyone else, but just for this one chair,

they're all pretty much the same looking. Yeah. It's, and I don't know why the view needs to do that. Blonde, pretty. Like, why does her views have to be so tied to, were looks and it's so true because I mean you look at like Fox and but that's more of their hiring policies right the gross dude

you know they all want these blondes you like to wear high heels I mean hey watch bombshell right that was fucking awesome movie yeah about all that but yeah for this case it's like why does this chair always have to be I mean why is the view so tied to the

look yeah right yeah it's interesting like hair color and everything yeah I do wonder if it like does have like when it comes to casting that has to do with like the shooting towards different audiences and being accessible towards different audiences where it's like, well, the, like, that woman is also stereotypically, if you think about, like, you know, I'm speaking from southern towns of like, that's the woman that runs the PTA. That's the woman that everyone goes to of like, oh, do you know when, like,

we got to get the cans in for the can drive and she's the one that knows. That's true. Right? Right. Yeah. But I also feel like it's totally just the geo P's male gaze. Totally. Just 100%. It is a male gaze thing, and that's how it gets to be that. This is what a woman should look like to them, right?

The woman that has everything. Yes. But she could have dark hair. I don't think I would have a problem with that. That's just so funny. She could be almost anything, yes. All right, here we go. For the first time I can even remember

this A-plus list magazine editor is letting someone else choose who to invite to a very popular event. The editor has no idea who any of the young talent is and is seeding some control. So look for a bunch of TikTok stars. Whoa. Magazine editor and what's the big event? Yes.

And the big event, of course, being the... Matt Gala? Yes, I would be very curious about this. I will say so far, rumors are spreading that Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna, and Lupita Nyango. By the way, you sent us that article as well. Congratulations, Rihanna, on becoming a billionaire. Oh my God, a billionaire. Look at you.

Check out our Rihanna episode on page 7 pop history. We poured a lot to know. I think it was a two-parter, right? But anyways, Lupita Nyango, our early picks for the event. Also, Timothy Shalame is set to co-host with Billy Elish and tennis player Naomi Osaka, joining as co-chairs. But I am not surprised, especially after doing our rewind episodes, Jackie and MJ, because I feel like, you know, I think the.

word we said over and over again that I couldn't get away from was monoculture. And now we're at this weird crossroads where you just, we all don't go to the same place for our celebrities. In fact, there are so many, I was even thinking about how there's a weird triangle of like, I am friends with someone who, someone I find to be a celebrity I admire, it finds them to be a celebrity I admire. It's like a triangle of celebrity, right? So like, it's so weird how things of splintered out in other words. You know what I mean? But then there's also, because that example

would probably include like the boys from last podcast, there's also I, the funniest thing about last podcast it's so popular, it's such a big deal, and yet when I talk to somebody about it, if they ask me what I do and it comes up and they come up, it is 50-50, whether they either are a huge,

they're either a huge fan or they've never heard of it. Yes. Never heard of it. And it's like, I know, you know, even back in the day we were talking about like Princess Die, right? Like I knew who that was, even though I had no understanding of the royal family or the importance of Princess Die's death when it happened in the context of the greater cultural experience, but I knew their name, right? Yeah, or even like B-list celebrities.

Like when we were in the 90s, it was like, I would keep, Friday Prince Jr. is probably not a B-List celebrity, but he's in my head because I just watched the, he's all that trailer. But like, celebrities that didn't have huge, massive sweeping careers, but who wherever they their movie was the thing at that moment, so everybody knew their name. And now it's like very different, right, because people will have their like 15 minutes and then sometimes they stay famous

and sometimes they don't. Because you have no idea. Like the Addison Ray, who is the cast of the lead, who is a TikTok star in He's All That, which is the reboot of She's All That. Don't, if you want to be upset, watch the trailer. Although Tanner Buchanan is so cute.

He's from Cobra Kai, and I love it. I love him. Yes, he's so cute. He looks like Sean from Boy Meets World. It's just, he is totally filling the Sean, by the way, completely. This assumes that she's all that was like an actual great film. No, I think about it's about these remakes. Terrible.

It's like, that's a property I really don't care about. I'm definitely a little bit more like, ugh, about the new Ghostbusters coming out. You know what I mean? Because that's actually like an original property that I stand behind. She's all that. I do want to rewatch it for nostalgia reasons. Me too. I do an episode on it for pop history,

but I don't know if it truly is a great, great film. I did see in the theater, though. No, I think it is Awakously, good boy! Because I just, Addison Ray, it seems like a very nice person. I did interact with her. She's a very, very nice, sweet person. But the girl cannot. This is, and I'm not saying it's the upper echelon of acting,

but that trailer was even rough day. I stopped it and had to put it back on because I was like, I'll get back to this. later. The trailer, I couldn't get all the way through. Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should watch it on like a stream or something. Honestly, I think that I'm certainly not watching it alone. Yeah. Well, she may be at the Met Gala. How do you all feel about that? That's why I'm thinking about it. Like the fact that like it's good. Honestly, I think that it should be, you know, past the baton. Yeah. The young people should be brought in. And I do think that it is good for

Anna Wintor to be like on top of like, okay, these are the people that if you think about it, when it comes to Vogue especially, you have to think about who is thinking about the fashion. Where is the fashion going? Totally. And these young people are where the fashion's going. I'm ready to accept that I have no idea what youth culture is, and I want to let them lead.

I'm okay with it. I love this idea of like a young intern explaining to Anna Wintour what, like, TikTok is. She's like terrified. And Wintor's like, tell me more of this Tick-T-T-T-T. What does it present? You know, yeah, yeah.

I've been referring to a line in Winter a lot and pretending like I'm Catherine. Hepburn in it, and they think that Anna Winter is definitely a Catherine Hepburn from a long of winter. I say we're better to the ground! I'm sorry. I had a blind, I'm just going to say out loud what it is. Just I think, apparently this is blind, John Travolta making his final payment.

Roo himself from that cult. He's been a part of a person. Oh, good for a head. I think it has a lot to do with Kelly Preston's death. Sure. And I, I am not, I have no genuine, like actual reasoning to feel this way, but I I make up, you know when you read a bunch of celebrity gossip alone and I make up little theories to myself? I think that that is scary to say aloud as I'm saying this.

I realize, but I think that it has a lot to do with Kelly Preston's. Sure. And to close it all out, a real final blind. One of the people, this dual threat permanent A-list actress has cut off from her life because of his beliefs over the past few months is her dog-loving ex. We just talked about her. Jennifer Anderson and Justin's D. row. Yes.

I, um, it, because she then, she got a bunch of shit. This is a good for her. And she was like, I am against anyone not getting the vaccine. I think that if you are choosing to not get, and she's like, and I'm cutting people out of my life that are openly for no reason choosing to not get the vaccine. It's a good for her. Here's the quote I pulled. There's still a large group of people who are anti-vaxers or just don't listen to the facts.

It's a real shame. I've just lost a few people in my weekly routine who have refused. or did not disclose whether or not they had been vaccinated, and it was unfortunate. I feel it's your moral and professional obligation to inform since we're not all potted up and being tested every single day. It's tricky because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but a lot of opinions don't feel based on anything except fear or propaganda. Guiffa-ha, Jennifer.

Fucking guffah! Thank you, Jen. All right. Let's call the Vax the Rachel, like the hair-down. Oh, my God. Like, the hair-ha-ha. I'm going to get the Rachel. Also, Jennifer's just brilliant words about the vaccine has opened my eyes and I am no longer a blind.

Yeah, he's no longer blind. But is he no longer poised and ready for the shoutouts? Shout, shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come out. We'll read them to you. Come on. Thank you guys so much for writing in, of course, to the page seven podcast at gmail.com.

And yes, that's seven the number. I really appreciate it. I love hearing from you guys, even if it's just a wazap. And, of course, we're going to have, since we've got some leftovers, some of them are a little late because of our little break. And it wasn't the person who shouted out's fault. It is our fault. we're going to make up for that today,

and I'm very excited to give you all some shoutouts because we have a shout out to the warrior of mothers, Jen! Fuck yes. You know what? I love a self-shout because recognizing your own strengths is so vital in the self-care journey, and sometimes we put everyone else before ourselves, like Jen has done.

Jen says, during the pandemic, not only if I had to go into work every day as an essential worker, I've had to do it while single parenting three kids all in middle school this last school year. Middle school is tough enough, but we made it through. Distance and hybrid learning, COVID scares,

sexual identity discovery, and isolation, just to name a few issues. And yet all three of my kids ended the school year with straight A's, even in advanced math and science classes. I'm so proud of them.

But looking back at everything, damn, did I kick some ass? Yeah, you fucking did, Jen? Hell yeah. I'm so proud of you. That is something I can't even Imagine. Three of them in middle school, that's already terrifying.

Yeah, that's going to be the hardest year ever anyway. And you did it with flying colors. And we've got another self-shout from Gabby, the hot, hot farmer. And I am liking what you send it in, Gabby, because, oh, my God, Gabby is living a farmer dream life that I am starting to dream about, especially as we head into round two of pandemic. They work for the Murfreesboro, Tennessee City Schools, growing organic produce from seed and grow rooms at the schools,

planting, growing, and harvesting while the kids see the whole process. All the produce we grow is served through the cafeterias, so it's literally seed-to-table. At my home, I also have a medium operation growing organic produce, lots of tomatoes, peppers, beans, watermelons, to name a few. And they say the heat has been getting to them, but also please hit me with any pumpkin tips. that you have.

If you have any pumpkin tips, Gabby, you are doing an amazing fucking job out there, Gabby, and I'm so fucking happy for you. And you're out there

while you're listening to this right now, don't you fall? Don't you fall in those watermelons? Because she listens to us while she's out

farm in her own fields and it's hot as shit. And we love you. We also have a shout out for gray in the house. Fuck you. Yes, another self-shout, shot out. Shot your positives into our ether.

Gray says, I recently went on a very long and difficult journey with a mental illness diagnosis when my father suddenly passed away. To say I had a breakdown is an understatement. I realize that I'm a strong-ass woman who has been through some fucked up shit and I deserve a shout-up for being okay after all that.

Mental health is so important and trust your gut. Never give up if you think your diagnosis isn't right. Yay for finally having the right meds! Things are looking up for me. I'm about to get married in October. I'm really pushing myself in my art career, which also look up at Greylock,

which is G-R-E-Y-U-S-Sk-E-U-Sk-E-U-Sk-E-Ur. That is their art Instagram. And also, yes, Gray, you do have the cutest pets ever. I did look up your stuff, and they do have a turtle named Laslo, aka Jackie Daytona. And I love that name for a turtle, and I love everything about the turtle.

We have a kick-ass shout-out from Dahlia. Dahlia wrote us in a shout-out for their very best friend. They say shout-out, shout-out for the baddest bitch. I want the world to know and celebrate my best friend's continuous sobriety for nine years. Natalie is an angel on this earth and a friend I met in social work school. Truly so brilliant, caring, funny, and also has the best podcast recommendations. Everyone who knows Natalie is so lucky to have crossed her path. Her intention she brings to every conversation and friendship is unmatched.

So cheers to such a hot, sober, tall, dog-sitting goddess. Nine years of sobriety is such an accomplishment and without airing out all of Natalie's personal life, these nine years have been filled with lots of difficulties. Only making the sobriety milestone in need of all of the congrats. Thank you for existing, Nat. Love you. Oh, so much. Bestie kisses.

Kisses, kisses. I will bring you an ice coffee soon. How adorable. And also, congrats. Nine fucking years is nothing to shake a stick at. Damn it. See, now that's a phrase, Holden. You can use nothing to shake a stick at. Shake a stick at it. You fucking docks. No one just make me think of Garfield's power stick, but we have more shoutouts to do. That was my improv and you're welcome. I like it. No, it was really good. You jumped right in. Both feet. Now this, we've got some mommy, Leola. Oh, shit.

Number up top when I sang, Rainbow Connection from Rory. Because Rory sent in a shout out to their mother, who is a badass, high-key, Leo mother, whose birthday has already passed, but it's not Rory's fault. They sent it in time. That apparently their mother is killing it in nursing school

and has also recently birthed my baby brother. She had me when she was young, and we haven't always been great at communication. but she always stood up for me and protected me as best she could. She is an oh fucking G roundtable of gentlemen fan and is responsible for hooking me and subsequently my best friends into the network. And Rory does say to their mom, the opening song was for you because my relationship with her is a beautiful rainbow in my life and she's my biggest inspiration.

I can't believe that mothers and children listen to the show. Wow. That's unbelievable. That's awesome. It makes me so happy. And we've got another fun shout out. This one goes out from Becca to Becca. Girl, I loved your novel email. I live for the backstory. You know I need the goss and all the backstory. But Rebecca, long story short for you guys, Rebecca was Becca's ride or fucking die through her planned

and then subsequently re-planned wedding. And she says that this all comes down to thanks from Rebecca. She says, please thank Rebecca for bringing a bright light into my life these last 10 years. She's the Sagittarius to my Scorpio. Together we laugh. We cry. We laugh until we cry. We're disgustingly emotional and have the humor of a cold-hearted, cynical asshole born in Eastern Mass in the 80s. The process of getting my ass down the aisle has been messy and full of roadblocks, and this woman has come out to help bulldoze every single roadblock out of my fucking way. I love you so much, Rebecca.

Love Becca. I love their love. I also want to give a great shout-out. This comes from Josh. This shout-out goes out to two fellow Page 7 fans, which is really adorable. So Josh has been trying to connect with his friends a little bit more. So he was checking out his friend's Twitch show and his friends, E-V-K-I-O-S-H-I-E-K-E-K-E-K-E-K-E-K-E-K-O-S-H-E-K-E-K-E-E-K-E-E-K-S-E-E-Y-C-H-E. And they have a great

Twitch channel. And in the chat, there was a person, Kelsey Without the E, who wrote, the streets will run right with come. So Josh wrote, ho underneath, and they created a friendship over Twitch by being in a completely other chat community, finding each other with love of page seven. And it makes me so happy. Hell yeah. So Josh just wanted to give a shout out to Kelsey without the E, as well as Eve Kiyoshi on

Twitch for welcoming back after I literally neglected our friendship for years. Josh, you're killing it. Keep going. This is great. And anyone that doesn't accept you trying to come back into their life after a good amount of time can go, what was it, Holden? Go shit in a shoe? You can shake a stick and you're that, you dirty dogs.

I think, no, go to an open air rehabilitation animal place. Oh, you can go to some sort of a locker room. be treated like an animal. I believe that's what I said. Yeah. So you could do that. If you don't, if you don't want to accept Josh's love again.

We've got, and I know I want to cry because we have a shout-out, shout-out, shout-back. Yes, that's what I'm going to start calling them. Shout-out shout-backs from wife to husband because Katie wrote in about her husband Mark because Mark said her a shout-out. And now Katie wants to say Mark a shout-out.

And she says my husband, Mark, is so amazing and honestly my best friend. Fuck you, Holden. I know you hate when people say it. We recently welcomed our son into the world after having quite a few problems, but now our son is healthy and just so perfect. Mark is the most supportive and caring person I've ever known. The love he has for me

and our son is indescribable. It may be overwhelming being new parents, but the way he is with our son has made me fall deeper in love with him than I knew was possible. I also forgot to mention that he has been being this awesome while recovering from pneumonia and valley fever, he ended up getting sick the month before our baby was born. He may have not had the best luck in the past few months,

but I feel really lucky to have him. I don't know what I would have done or if I could have gotten through this without him. And that, oh my God, does it be... Hold on you crying right now, thinking he's about to love for the baby you're about to have. I'm crying a little bit about it. You're crying.

It doesn't sound like that, but that's just the type of cryer I am. No, I know. I can feel it. I can feel emanating from you. We've got one last shout at the, Thank you guys so much again for writing in. I want to give a shout out to Joey.

Ooh, there's something about a Joey that works at a body shop. Gets your beans. Oh, I'm talking to you, Joey, at the body shop. Both your name and your profession are sexy. And I'm sorry that you're surrounded by closed-minded people, but never forget. We live in your brain, Joey, in a good way. And fuck a breakup. Your name is Joey, and you work in a body shop and that's sexy as fuck.

I know it's not the same thing, but maybe you should just watch. all the Fast and the Furious movies and start dressing like Vin Diesel. I think it would be a choice and I think it would be a great choice. Just think of those tight, white turtlenecks that he wears. Isn't that exactly what you need

when you're working on cars, something that you can really stain? And thank you so much for listening, Joey, and I'm sending you a kiss through the airwaves. Whoa! Thank you to everyone that wrote in. I really, it makes me think of, oh, the brothers show, brotherly love.

Remember where they all had a body shop together? I was more of a fan of the Woe Boys, but that was the Four Joey's show. Yeah, the Woe Boys, yeah. That's all they could say. Woein all over my chest. I should do a sketch where it's a bunch of characters like that, and they only say their catchphrase is the only thing they're allowed to say,

and they're just like at a living in a house together. Oh, watch it. Did I do that? I think that's called Celebrity Big Brother. I'm fairly sure. Thank you guys so much for joining us. And also, Holden, we're going to miss it. see you we're going to

I know. I'm going to miss doing this. I will be back though and it won't be, I don't think too long. I think it'll go by faster than it's, well, Mike almost go by as fast for you guys as it's probably going to go by for me. I hear that first month is a whirlwind.

I'll try to come back sometime in month two. We'll see where we're at. But hey, I think I'll be ready. I think I'll be wanting to, you know, step outside of what this will be for a couple hours a week. I mean, why not? I imagine. I imagine to get out of there,

but we love you. We're going to miss you. We're going to have some rewinds. So don't worry. You won't be remiss completely of Holden's voice. That is funny. Yeah, yeah. I will say, yeah, you're going to hear me actually, too.

We'll have a couple in there. We'll have time to miss them. Yeah. Yeah, you won't miss them too bad. We'll miss them even if you want to. No, we'll miss him. And thank you guys so much for joining and coming back to page seven. Don't worry, we are now we're here and we are ready to scream.

Are you guys? My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And also please check out my Twitch channel. It is Twitch.tv. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. We have talking sex on Tuesdays. Please send in your, any kind of sex questions,

any kind of, like, journey, gender identity questions you've got. Anything that you're going through, hit us up at, oh, no, it's Jackie's email at gmail.com. Hell yeah. Twitch. Twitch.tv. forward slash holdnators ho. Yes, I will be going dark as well. for the paternity leave.

But we're doing a 12-hour stream this Friday. It's going to be amazing. Jackie's going to be doing Jacking with the Holdies with me. It's going to be just a fun-filled, and it's co-hosted with me and Lexi. So you'll get to spend plenty of time hanging out with Lexi as well. We're going to do competitive Tetris and stuff like that with each other. We just have so many different fun things in store for you guys on Friday to close it out,

wrap it up for at least a month over there in Holdenators Ho. Also, again, page the number seven podcast at gmail.com. page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Always appreciate those celebrity conspiracies and blind items that you send in. We have a bunch now because of the two weeks off and I love it. Thank you so much.

Which is great because I'm going to need to do it while Holden is gone, so I really agree with. And hit me with your blind items. I don't know how to find them. I'll help you with that, for sure, Jackie. It's not that hard. I literally go to what plays for it.

Okay. My name's MJ and I'll miss you, Holden, and I'm MJ K. Elcat on Instagram. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible

by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.