Page 7 - Ep. 415: The Ultimate Sibling Sin

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

This week we got Big PawPaw Henry Zebrowski sitting in for Daddy Holden Legs an' goss’ bout what it was like to interview Candice DeLong for the LPN Show, the potential dog loving serial killer who hit on Jackie, the fallout from He's All That, the tactical work to take down BJ Novak's playa antics, F-Boy Island, the confusing potential familial triad of Jason Momoa, Lenny Kravitz and Channing Tatum, the equally bizarre and problematic Phantom of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Kanye West, and in a special Zebrowski related Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Joan Crawford cursed the name of Pepsi?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey there, everybody. How you doing? Ed Larson here from the brighter side. And I want to tell you about this crazy event I got going on. It's called The Great Mugshot Roast and it's all presented by Last Podcast Network. And it's going to be on the Last Podcast Network Twitch channel. The whole thing is a benefit for the Last Prisoner Project, which is a great organization that gets people out of jail on marijuana charges. Of course. It's a no-brainer. So let's raise some. of money and rosa mug shots of volunteers only

I can't wait for this we'll see you guys on September 12 as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there ain't nothing left because I've been blasting a life for so long that even my mama thinks that my mind

is gone because I never met a man and didn't deserve it maybe treated like a punk you know you're gonna you better watch where you're walking and where you're walking are you and your home is my husband and talk I really hate the trip, but I gotta go.

As a crew, I see myself in the pistols' smoke. Ooh, I'm the kind of you that little homers want to be like on the knees and not saying prayers in the street. We have been spending much in our lives living in a gangster's paradise. Haven't we? Yes. Everyone, welcome to page seven. I just need this. I need everyone to know what only I saw, but I need the listeners to know, which was Jackie taking a deep breath, getting her singing stance.

getting her singing stance, which is like she gets her posture all up. I get a deep breath. She holds out her hand, like the Italian, like, mum, but like it's, but it's like a choir. Like she's like, like, her little invisible pitch pipe. That's what it is. And she was like opening her mouth. And then Henry just came swinging in on a chandelier. He's swaying.

It won't be the first time. Won't be the last time. You're being a real SIA that created the movie music right now, Henry. That's what you're being. Hey. If you're swinging on the chandel. Seea had an imagination that she needed to express. Oh, God.

Don't you dare come on the show. It helps everyone. Everybody needs. We can still disinvite you from the show, Henry. It's not too late. We will get you off the show. Uh-oh. It's being controlled by a brother train.

I'm very scared of brother. Brother train. I was about to sing, he ain't heavy. He's my brother. I was getting into it. I was going to give you like the real full emotion of it. And now you don't get it anymore. I don't want to experience emotions.

Okay. My whole thing is all day. Everyone's like, Henry, I don't you have to feel the emotions that you're supposed to feel. And I'm like, no, I've created this strong, powerful exterior for a reason. Yes, I forget. We have almost complete opposite ways of how we live our life. Whereas I feel every semblance of every tiny,

emotion. Oh my God, are we in couples therapy? No. MJ, will you be our therapist? Will you be our brother-sister therapist? I think we need one? What I'm hearing is that you guys have a lot of the same root feelings. Very differently. What's coming up for you? I know how to be a therapist because you just say, what's coming up for you? What's coming up for you? How is it? Interesting response. What do you think you feel like that? But also now, in my, I do Young Ian therapy, so a lot of times she has,

me write out scenes where I talk to myself. Are you kidding? In character voices? Like, I'm not even a bit. Like, I literally, I play characters in therapy where I go and, like, I talk to myself and I write out scenarios and stuff. It's great. I make great material.

Yeah. I can't handle that. Yeah. I can possibly handle that. She laughs sometimes. For me, that sounds like. It makes me feel like I'm in, what about Bob with all the different puppets. She loves me.

I know I'm her favorite client, but she won't say it because I've asked. Oh, my therapist tells me I'm her favorite. That's a lie. If she comes out and say that. That might be a lie, though. She might say that to everyone. No, I don't think that she would. She loves me.

Cindy! She's got some splain in to do it. Yep. Are you your client, your therapist's favorite, MJ? Now I feel, they've never told me that I'm their favorite. I usually have an ass. You got to put some jokes in there. Make it funny.

No, you, I mean, I'm, you guys are both making me feel like we have very different therapy experiences. I just, I just mostly just cry. And then they're like, uh-huh, what's coming up for you? And then I have to explain why I'm crying. Henry's over here doing an act out. She asked me. He's over here. It's not me coming in with this shit.

I do the bits, right? And then she'll say stuff where she's like, well, this isn't a comedy show. She doesn't like the bits. Both of our therapists don't like, they don't need the bits. Do you do bits to, Jackie? Yeah, well, because then she's like, you're hiding behind humor. I was like, that's my whole fucking life, Cindy. What do you think I do, Cindy?

We're all hiding behind humor, but for some reason it has never once occurred to me to try to make a joke in therapy. I'm not like the most serious I've ever been. I don't think that they even know that I, I don't even know if they know anything about my life in comedy. Because I'm just like, it's time to be serious. No, I think it's important because honestly I pepper it in there. But, you know, as you go, I try to do it. But I appreciate. Because I honestly, I don't know if I'd stay with her if she didn't laugh at all.

I think I would feel weird. But she laughed? Because my last therapist who I did fire. Oh, yeah. I crush it. I crush it. You should. You pay her.

I think that automatically means you crush it. I want those laughs. I want, it's such a different experience. Wow. Well, and one of my grad school classes this year is individual counseling, so I'm actually going to learn the skills of how to actually interview someone. And it turns out it is more than just saying what's coming up for you.

So I watch out because you're going to be talking to me and you're not even going to realize. And I'm going to be like, paraphrasing and I'm going to be reflecting your feelings, but I'm going to be avoiding asking questions and it's going to be all, I'm going to be using strategic silence. No. No, I hate sure. It doesn't lend itself all the podcast, so I'll probably keep that one for one way or in person. Well, you just let me know when you're ready to fix it.

I am ready. In fact, Henry and I actually, we interviewed an FBI profiler for the LPN show, which totally check out Candice DeLong's episode with us and she is like a very famous criminal profiler and the entire time all I could think about was like, what does she think about me? What does she think about me right now? Oh yeah, I asked straight up. I was like, are we good? Like I asked, do you think that we're good?

Like, are we lying right now? And she's like, that's not really what I do. And I was like, you, that's a lie. She's not a very, she's not a silly head, if you could imagine. Oh, but as a, as somebody who analyzes, like, are you. like people and behavior having you two as the interviewers must have, or as the interviewer is just like, we're a brother and sister team.

We're real wacky. We talk about serial cars and the culture. Honestly, I felt like we did good. We did code switch with her. We walked in. We kind of like acted like we weren't like that for a little bit. And then I'd start to seed it in. And she joked every once in a while.

She did technically ask me out to dinner. Oh my God, Henry. Nothing but Nets. Yes. I think that you should, well, you know what? Also, the person that was bagging up my groceries the other day asked me out on a date. And I said, thank you so much. I really appreciated.

And then I found out it's just because he hoped I had a dog. Wow. What? I don't know. I wasn't buying dog food. Yeah, how did you find out? Did you do an investigation? He tried to bring my groceries out to the car.

And he's like, don't you have a dog out here? And was like, no. I'm like, do you think I'm someone else? He's like, no, you just looked like the kind of person. that would have a dog and was like, thank you? I don't like this. He was a serial killer? Yeah.

I think that he was going to kill me. Yeah, so now I can ever go back to a Ralph sever again. Oh, God. I thought you gonna have a dog. You look like the kind of person who was going to have a dog. You all sticky on my brain, though. Because why would he say? What do you say to that?

If there is a type of person who looks like they would have a dog, I don't think that's you. I think that's a person wearing like Patagonia, you know. I mean, L.A., everybody has a dog. We have all replaced dogs with children. With vice versa. We've all replaced children with dogs.

So literally, I think that he just saw you and assumed that maybe you did, I guess that's fine or whatever. It's just a strange flirting, like, position. That's a strange way to flirt with somebody. Yeah. Well, I thought maybe you'd be a person who likes V. Or like some weird thing. That's why all of a sudden I was just like, I'm good.

Thank you, though, because, like, He was kind of following me out and was like, no, we don't. No, thank you. No, thank you. I don't have. And then all I could think of was the criminal profiler that we talked to was like, that's the man that was going to try to kill me at 2 p.m. at the route. Yeah.

That's why I always memorize what every man looks like that speaks to you. That's not scary at all. Tell that to the criminal profiler. Call her, tell her to make a note. You can probably write this down. She made us afraid of old people. Like she said that old people gives candy to people and we'll try to trick people in there to poison them. But then she's like, help old people.

And I was like, which do you want us to do? Which do you want us to do? And she didn't answer it. And that's all right. And I don't, you know what? I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about it. Yeah.

I mean, I like basically only watch the types of shows that this type of person goes on. Yes. You know, I just watch like the oxygen channel for some. reason has turned into just exclusively stories about murder. Just murder. People who are like, my job is to understand why people are murderers. And so as soon as I saw you guys describe this LPN episode, I was like, I probably will recognize this person if they go on any of these types of shows.

She's on Deadly Women. Yeah, her shows, she's got the show Deadly Women if we were ever seen that show, which is just teaches women how to kill men. And then they have the, it's good. It's honestly very useful. And what was the other one that's called like... Facing Evil. Big pants.

Oh, yes. Facing Evil with Candice DeLong and she looks great. I thought it was the big pants where it's all just Jinko-based crimes. What happened in my pants? I just imagined that they were literally inside of the pants. Like the pants is so big, I can commit crimes while I'm inside. Yes. All of his bodies were found inside his pants.

And I wonder how many bodies are going to be found after, you know, more people start watching the He's All That trailer. I did not include that in this week's list of things because I'm trying not to yell about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to talk about it. Because sometimes I don't know whether we as an institution of page seven are going to love something or going to hate it. And sometimes I watch something and I'll be like, oh, it's fun. And then I'll look at the email and you'll be like, this makes me want to tell somebody with my hair.

Well, maybe I'm speaking for Jackie and I shouldn't. Don't you can speak for me. I'm sorry. I should never do that. Remakes, I'm weary of. Yes. Depending on what their goals are. Right?

It depends on what you want out of a remake. Are we just really trying to fix the whole thing? Henry, but how do you feel about the fact that Addison Ray's name in this movie is Padgett? That is reprehensible. G-E-T-T-T. No one should be named after a, I mean, that's a gnome name. Padgett. You sounds like someone who's a talking, that's like talking tree stump.

In a fantasy movie, yes. That is not a woman's person's name. That's a person's name. That's a human's name. I cannot recommend enough if you even want to watch He's All That. Really, you have to watch Trixie and Katya watch He's All That. It is an eight minute long YouTube video of Trixie, Mattel, and Kacha from RuPaul's Drag Race, essentially giving us a too long, didn't read of the movie.

Oh, that's good. That's very good. And it's everything I wanted. And that's when I first heard the name, that her name is Paget in it. Because they went crazy. and the fact that her name is packed in it. So it's hard, right? Because obviously she's all that is a movie that we all feel a great deal of nostalgia for. But it is also trash.

Yeah, it's not a classic. No. It's, yeah, it wasn't good at the time that we, it was only, it's, we all know it because we all made fun of it at the time. Like we all, it was one of the rare mainstream rom-coms that even when it came out, it was like everyone's first introduction to like criticism. Like to be like, she just took off her glasses. Like everyone knew that. Like that was, everyone thought it was trash.

And so to take a kind of like famously trash movie, but it's not like camp trash, it's just like actual trash. But still very popular and like important to everyone's like who is of a certain age, you know, high school growing up experience. And then to remake it. So it's so the trailer is very bad, but I'm having a hard time differentiating. Is it bad because the story is very bad? it's the original story that's trying to remake or is it bad

because all of the actors in it with the exception of the kid from Cobra Kai are all bad. Tanner Buchanan who I love. I love him so much. I love him so much. He is Sean from Boy Meets World. I feel like he is the 90s.

He is our like reaching back the fact that all of pop culture is just reaching back trying to resurrect the dead corpse of the 90s like he is the actual embodiment. People our age are the executive producers of these shows.

Exactly. Everybody who's in these rooms is born in 1988 or 1987. Yes, everybody is, they are the ones making these creative decisions and they are burying our childhood. It's bludgeoning it. The grave. They're taking these things and they're, and honestly, I'm fine with the, please hire these old actors. Hire these old, these actors from the early 2000s. I think it's important because it keeps them from doing crimes.

It's going to keep them engaged and busy. but when it comes down to it, is there not a new bad story that can be told? But isn't she's all that technically also based on Shakespeare? You know, I get it is,

it's, I'm gonna throw it out there, it's loose. And I'm excited that they brought back the parents as something that we mourn on Riverdale Roundup Weekly, MJ and I, of the fact that they've taken our hot mommies and daddies away.

And it's difficult because I don't want, I want to just look at the youngs. I want to look at the olds as well. Too young. And Freddie Prince, Jr. looks great. This is very tight. I think that they, I think very tight, very excited about he and his wife's love because he

and Sarah Michelle Geller. I think today they celebrated, they're like 19th wedding anniversary. That's weird. When is the time goal? Oh, I'm happy for them. They're like the last couple standing. Honestly, I can't believe that that sham marriage is going and it's great. I think that they're out there.

They love each other. I hope that they still make love. to each other. That would be really nice. I hope that they do. I think it's not a sham because she was like the hottest, hottest, hottest of her. Oh, she's looking better than out. Oh, it's like Megan Fox is hotter now

than she ever was when she was younger. She is getting, she's turned into a crispy milk. Yes. And I think it's great for all society. I love how much you love their relationship as well. Oh, me? I follow, well, that's one of my like sneaky Instagram follows is that I sort of follow. Machine Gun Kelly, I can't stand his fucking music, right? And Megan Fox, like, except for Jennifer's body, which is an incredible movie,

she doesn't have a great track record when it comes to acting. Really? But their life is fascinating. Yeah. The two of them, well, it's just something about how, like, it's two people, like, I think MGK is younger than us. I think that it's, I think that he's, like, maybe, like, 28, 29, like, he's not that old. And with her, she's, like, my age.

And, like, just watching her, like, because they hang out like 17 year olds. Oh wow. They hang out like 17 year olds in a way that I haven't seen adults hang out. Like she like he walks into clubs like acting all normal signing autographs. Well she is straddling his waist holding him up like this. I mean like well it's just amazing. They're very passionate.

Like it always cuts to her listening to her, his music and concert like acting shit out and like mouthed in all the words and stuff. And so she's very supportive, especially on camera. I think I love their love. And then with their love is. It burns bright. I feel like what you're describing is what, like, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend kind of were going for, you know? They were trying.

That was the end of what they were shooting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I completely understand that the, I like shipping a certain fun, especially like two people that openly lust for each other still. It's why I love Jason Mamo and Lisa Bonay. I love the fact that he had been in love with her forever. He got her.

They have an open thing. together. They are very open about that with each other and they just, they lust for each other. Yeah, because they slap bits, right? But who do you think are the, like, what it comes out to? Who do you think of the other people that they, they slip it in for? Like, do you think it's the bellboys? Do you think it's waiters? Do you think it's podcast comedians? Do you think that it's like, like, who would be able to cut the mustard? I don't know. Mr. Mamoa? Would you like to come over and have a discussion? All I know is that if he's being with my sister, he better fucking Marrier.

Oh, no, I don't need to be married. Mammo, I don't need to be married. Marry my sister. You don't have to. Take me on vacation. It does seem a lot of the, a lot of the blinds is that it is people that, like, he just meets

in bars. And we've had people right in talking about, like, times that they have spent with Jason Mamo where he just likes to have fun with people. Yeah, man. You may have sex with them. You know, spending time with them. But speaking of that.

It's not the vote to a swing set. It's not like them hanging out of him just being like, this is all I need. Maybe it is. Just pushing somebody on a swing. He's not just going to go get a hamburger with somebody. No. He's talking about squish. He's not going to make it big. Yeah, but if you're going to talk about making it big, we have to talk about because we didn't

have the episode last week, Zoe Kravitz. And Channing Tatum, I am, you know what? It makes my, it makes my heart sing. It makes you big. To think about Channing Tatum, becoming friends with Jasonamoa and Lenny Kravitz, because we all know Lenny

Kravitz and Jason Mamo are good friends. First husband, second husband, best friends. So what's going to happen now that Channing Tatum's in the mix? Maybe they'll all start to kids. So Channing Tatum then would be like their son-in-law? Yeah. I think so. Ah, that's fun.

Yeah, I wouldn't. I guess it's fine. It is fine. I don't have any emotions for Channing Tatum, but I do like that they are, they are playing with the press quite a bit. Like it's all like a game that they're doing where it's like they're like she's doing the, she's laughing like my therapist laughs like on the street and that's nice to see what they do because that's like she's signaling like very much so which is really good.

They seem to really enjoy each other. He sort of is he's starting to kind of look like Shrek. Whoa. But like handsome, he's got he's getting really thick. He's got the cauliflower ears and he's got the bald head. So he's got a little bit of adjacent statham. vibe going on. Are you not into Jason Statham?

I was going to say that's a pro. Jason Statham is like the ideal of his type. I like the wrath of man. He actually, Rath of Man, was not bad. The first half of that movie is garbage. Guy Ritchie needs to stop, but technically he turned that movie around. Guy, Statham actually showed his star power

in that film in a way that I haven't seen him doing quite a long period of time. My appreciation for Channing Tatum is just singularly from Magic Mike and maybe that's very dated. I'm sure he's done other nice things since then. But it's just like, oh, that endeared you to all of us forever. And I think that you're just good now.

Like, you don't have to do anything else. You're good. And also, it is like the word on the street that he is apparently a very nice guy. Right. He has like an exceedingly good reputation for like a big neck hot boy. No, I've heard he's very nice. I heard he's very funny. And he's just, he seems to be cool.

He does seem to be cool. Unlike B.J. Novak, who seems to be a bit of a player. Where are you getting B.J. Novek's a playa. He's out with a different girl every fucking night. And all the girls are starting to perform a cop. Well, that came from Dumas because they went through a whole thing where they, all of the girls that are all simultaneously dating B.J.

Novak at one time all realized, oh, I also just went on a first date with B.J. Novak. So they created a secret Facebook group where they all got together. to put together notes on what their dates were like with him. Horrifying. Well, he's a fucking, he's a player. And when it comes down to it, if you're going to apply the fucking guy, you have to understand.

Other people could shift the fucking rules on you, bro. You got to be ready for women to organize. I know this, between the big neck discussion and this discussion, I know I'm a little bit late sometimes to cultural things, but I did just finish F-boy Island. I'm watching F-Boy Island, too. Oh, thank God. I was like, because I know it's not, we don't have to talk about it, but I feel like it's a very refreshing shift in reality shows. Yes.

From like women fighting over men to like women are just like together. There's no fighting between the women. They're all just like, fuck this guy and fuck that guy. And I think that it's like absolutely extremely satisfying turn for reality shows to have made to have it be women uniting together to find the shitty guys. Nikki Glazer's nailing it. Like she really knows how to do the tone of these shows. She's so good. It's so funny.

But the one thing about that show that honestly, it's like difficult for me is the concept of being surrounded by 16 hooding men. Like those men, I was like, that's a lot of masculine energy that I'm like, I'm a, I'm a ladies man type. Like, I like more, I don't like less of a mask energy coming at me because it's all fucking a lot. it's just a bunch of guys like reekin a cologne. Can you imagine your carl shell necklaces on? All on top of each other. They're not, yeah,

because there's got to be a lot of cologne. Yeah. It's a lot of cologne. All of them doing the pump-ups with the wooden, like, things. It's just a lot at once. And I'm just like sometimes because that one girl's really tight. It's very porny. The whole thing is very porny.

It's just like it feels like it's a, it just is the premise is like, what if there was a gang bang, but it was a game instead, you know? Yes. But honestly, if they got to figure, I mean, I've seen those films before,

I've seen these documentaries. And I know that it happens all the time. And spontaneously sometimes, and sometimes it looks fairly organized. But these guys are very, like, but F Boy Island is really interesting about the idea of also that, this concept of trying to talk to.

Because let's be honest, they're all F boys. Whoa. Right? And also, how many times do we have to say the term F boy in a show? I know. It was a lot. And I would assume that they were only allowed

to say the word fuck so many times, which is why they said, F boy and said, I did like the fact that they brought like the like conversations about like why mentally they are, that they act the way that they act. I think that's a lot of fun. But also inherently, yes, the joke is of like, well, how many people have you ever been with they were like, no, no, I'm a nice person. Don't you see that's actually the worst of them all?

Because if you think you're a nice guy or a nice girl or a nice person, odds are sometimes you're not and you are just so unaware of what a horrible piece of shit you are that you think that you are a good person. Yeah, and you've got a persecution complex. Yeah, the love bombing thing is really interesting because O.G. Jared told Zakiya, is what her name, Nikia? Nikia.

He told, O.G. Jared told her that Oh, don't even give it with that. This is this whole I'm falling for you thing. And then all the other F boys said the same thing, being like, that's called, he feels like it's slipping away and he's throwing the emotions in there and they're like, I've done that 10 times. I've told a million girls I love them.

That's what I do. I just tell them that I'm feeling this feeling that I've never felt. And he kept saying this like, he's like, no, like that's the thing. Like, I'm falling. And the thing about falling is, you can't control how fast it goes

because you're falling in. Gravity, gravity's like faster than you walking. O.G. Jared. You can't even run faster than gravity takes you. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that O.G. Jared is, I actually think like, a, very bad person, and I think he might be the worst person I've ever seen portrait on a reality show, because he's...

Even worse than Garrett. Much worse. Garrett is the biggest fuckboy, but, like, OG... I feel like, actually, the one thing I don't like about this show is that it is, like, a handbook for how to manipulate somebody with low self-esteem. Like, and OG Jared is just, like, the most manipulative, like, I really... That was the one thing I did not enjoy about the show. It was, like, this is actually very bad. This isn't like fun bad.

It's like very, very, very bad. But I think it's important for viewers to see it. Because maybe in a way they could see themselves in the same situation. This dude hits you with the love you love you baby. Right? When it comes down to it being like, but do you know me? Because that's where the other guy hit him. When he started saying, I'm falling for you.

And what's his name? Colin, the other FBI, right? He was like, what's her last name? What's her last name? And she couldn't tell her. And he just feeling like, how do you love somebody to know their fucking last name? Well, sometimes love finds a way.

And now they're all just upset, you know, because he fell first. Whoa. I'm pro OG Jared. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, he's a very scary man. No, I like that one nice guy. That other guy that's with the short girl.

There's the big guy. I really couldn't even tell you most of their names. I just know, like, I can identify them. This is how I am with all reality television shows, though, where it's like I have nicknames for them. Like, I watch my. my master chef, right? And like last night they got rid of the woman I was calling

Lori Valo, right? Who is this cult leader woman that's like, I just know her is Lori Valo. There's white woman who's doing great. There's big sweaty Italian guy. Ooh, I like him. There's Sue. I know Sue's name. There's the other guy with the accent. That's how I know.

And that's why, but these are the things that we keep inside when we're watching things. What are you? This is how I talk about. This is what I talk about it. When I watch him, because Natalie doesn't watch all these things with me. These are, that's my side quest. I watch these things

because it's got nothing to do with murder. Really? You watch these shows alone? I don't have to retain any knowledge. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. These are my burner shows.

These are my burner shows. I had to stop watching Maffes because Maffs made me sad in the last season when what's his name with the beard told the woman he slept with twice in the first night that he didn't find her physically attractive and that bummed me out. So I had to stop watching the whole season. It was real rough.

Married at first sight has been getting a little dicey with who they have on the show. but then it has a lot to do with pandemic, because if you think about it, it's like, you know, they had to keep making content. So they're doing this. And even though, like, someone obviously doesn't really want to keep doing it, they're like, well, do you want to get paid? Yep. So you have to keep doing it. And so it got a little yucky. I completely hear you, Henry. And in fact, I think that there's a lot of yuckiness wrapped in a lot of content that is coming out nowadays, including Donda. I think that we have to talk about at least a little bit. Please, because I need a don'ta explainer. Did you guys follow any of his live stream shit? Did you watch any of it? Nah.

Because he hit this one bit. There was a couple of things that he did that were really interesting, where he had that jacked dude, he was like black Batman, like this guy who was walking around in a full 1989 Keaton Batman outfit just like hanging out while he was like living in an amphitheater, which is also one of the funniest, like, cultural things ever. like Kanye living in that amphitheater, quote unquote, finishing Donda, where it's like, did you ever see the picture of the room he was staying in? No. It's so funny.

So he stayed there for about three weeks. He rented out the amphitheater to do these listening parties. And the first listening party, it just involved him standing on stage. Oh, when he was doing the push-ups? Yes. That's the live stream. But he was just standing on stage while Donda played. And then he just like, stood up.

Posted up, everybody just stared at him, they listened to Donda, everybody left. Then they did these live streams where he was saying he was finishing the album from within the amphitheater that he was renting day by day by day as if it was a hotel, sleeping in the basement of it, to the point where it's like there was a lot of Phantom of the Opera jokes like happening. Because he was ice. Andrew Lloyd-Weber joke though. It's so good.

It cut to a shot of like, this is where Akanya's sleeping. And I swear to God, it was a twin cot. You see two pairs of his highly experimental Yeezys, like the ones that are barely shoes, like in the corner, like I do in a hotel, like literally putting his shoes out. He had his clothes hanging up on a little clothing thing. And he had like a computer open and you saw like a bag of like granola and a couple of empty smart waters. And I was just like, this is his whole life. Yeah. He's just living like a fucking maniac.

like very stripped down. But I guess if you take a look at his house, that is exactly also how he lives at home. I mean, look, it's obviously how he designs his clothes as well and not to be like this, but Yee's design wear is not for me. No, me neither. But Yees is the number one shoe in the world.

It's a billion dollar industry. And I'm sure that it's very comfortable, but now he's doing this whole line with Gap. And it is just like, I don't know if, like, I think it is, I guess, smart for Gap because I think, you know, of trying to broaden what they give. but in, because in my brain, Gap is still for the people that wouldn't go on a date with me in our small town in Florida. I think Gap vaguely chug-y.

Yeah. Is it chug-tastic? Yeah. But I think that chuggy people also really like Kanye, right? They do. Like white douchebag men love Kanye. They do. There's a lot of devarience degree of douchebag.

Yeah. I mean, I want to say there's a diverse douchebag group that likes his stuff. And I also think a lot of, I mean, it's, I, you know, you can play the. tape. There are many in page seven, especially circa like 2014, like when Yeezus came out, when I was like, he, the way that people talked about Kanye back then,

I thought was really annoying and frustrating because he was, he's obviously a maniac, but also he's like a genius. And I was like, everyone's talking about him like he's a fucking idiot, but he's not an idiot. He's just eccentric. And I, and, you know, and I, like, I'm not like

the hugest Kanye head. But, you know, I feel like he, I felt like there was such a rush. At the time, I felt like there was such a rush to dismiss him and to not acknowledge that he was a very talented artist. I have gotten off the train of defending Kanye since the Trump stuff because I was like, gone so far past it. Yes.

But now he's seen in this light of like, yeah, I think that the music is really sick. And that this is all can be seen. It is performance art. Right. It is the way, like, his brain wants this to be. unraveled and I'm like hell yeah I support all that but then he is Marilyn Manson on stage

and he brings to baby on stage and it's like well now you're made and I understand the idea of like freedom of speech yeah but he's a contrarian like a professional contrarian but it is he's a contrarian and it's the three of them standing on the patio of the remake of his childhood home where it's like you're obviously

it's like that is awesome but you are making such a fucking point yeah with Marilyn Manson and DeBaby on the fucking patio, you know, that I can't. He is, he's a contrarian. I do believe that. And this is the problem is that on some level, when I look at this type of activity and what he's doing, he is, I think that nothing, he's obviously incredibly talented and he has some long view.

He has some view that we don't understand. Yeah, I do still think that's true. I think that, yes, I don't think so either anymore. I think that his, I think his indulgence. He is, he's very indulgent artist, right? Which is like, you know, some of my favorite artists are highly indulgent. David Lynch, right? Nick Cave, these type of people that, like, they alienate people.

They have like a thing that there are some people get it. Some people don't. But the thing about Kanye is that I feel that the contrarianism is getting emptier and emptier. Yes. That like, it's holding less weight. 100%. Because it is not, it's not as filled with intent. Yes.

I think for a while everyone thought like, oh, Kanye works a mysterious ways. Yeah. Now we're starting to see, I think he might just be, they think the word is, the term is out of touch. Yeah. And that he's lost a little bit of the, like, because all artists, true, brilliant artists kind of do both, right? In my mind, they have highfalutin ideas.

Then they can also ground it in a way that make it like huge, right? Well, that's like what he does best. Donda, I try. to listen to it. It's fairly incomprehensible. Like it's, it is a lot of like in my mind, and maybe I'm crazy. Obviously, I don't get it or whatever.

It seems to be he's saying, this is the future, but I'm like, but I don't understand it. And I'm already confused. And I don't know. It's the same thing with the shoes. Right? Like, he's got the shoes that look like beehives. And they're interesting up to a point.

Like, I like the idea of it. I think it's cool. But have you ever tried one on. No, are they comfortable? I don't know how to really describe it. They're like foam. So they crunch. So it's like as you put them on, like they're not, they're fall apart.

They'll fall apart. Like they're not good. Those highly, the weird ones, they fall apart. And the easies, I'm too hard on my shoes. I need my J's. Yeah, you love your jumping festival. I love my jumpings. He's got to jump.

Yeah. And I just wish, I've always been only on the edge of ever understanding or like loving Kanye. Like I never have done the deep dive. But like, so I remember there was this clip going around. I think he was on maybe Jimmy Kimmel in 2014, maybe of him being like talking about like how he wanted to make a leather jogging pant. And like nobody was like, you know, he had this whole thing where he was like,

nobody trusts me, nobody believes me. Like I have this vision for fashion. He won though. He was correct about that. But he was right at that time. Yeah. That's the thing. And so, and everybody played that clip and was like, he's insane.

What is he talking about? Leather jogging pant. Of course, now what is extremely normal? A leather jogging pant. So it's like he actually sometimes is, this is the thing about Kanye. It's like, man, sometimes it sounds like you're making no sense, but it turns out you're actually, you actually do have a coherent vision. You see the future. You can see what we need and what we're going to want.

Right. But then other times, I find, I feel that him. as a fashion designer is becoming way more, he's way more on the money as a fashion designer than he is as a musician. Which sounds like it's what he wants. But I mean, this is me talking as a person that is not a huge hip-hop empressario. What?

That's a word I'll use. I'm not someone, yeah. Yeah, I just don't feel like maybe I don't particularly understand. So obviously, fucking I'm a moron. I don't fucking know.

But when it comes to fashion, like at least I'm fucking trying to be a hype beast every day of my fucking life, bro. Every fucking day I'm trying to be out of your fucking hyping it up. I'm trying to be fucking extreme. So I look at his stuff, but I'm still like, I'm not quite yet. I'm not ready yet to dress like George Carlin from Bill and Ted's bogus dream. Although you're going to look great once you start.

I'll get there. No, all of it, you're right. And it's like, I think that it's part of it is just me getting older, being like, I don't understand how the youngs wear things like that. But this kept coming up time and time again when we used to watch Project Runway. In the same way of like watching these things of like, oh, that's going to lose. Oh, that's not going to be the, and then they would always win. And I'm just like, well, I just obviously don't know anything about fashion and that's okay.

I am making a pledge to myself, and this is true, I'm trying to do this, that every decade that I'm alive, my goal is to go to a place at some point and say, will you find, make me an outfit where I am modern? Like, make me give, I want each generation, I'm going to get like, I'll wear what I normally wear all the time. I will go to a place and say, like, put the fashion shit on me. I want to see what it looks like now that I'm 50, now that I'm 60, now that I'm 70. I want to try to stay in and be like, just put, like, I may not get it,

but put the clothes on me and then let's see how I feel about it. See, my plan is to just, it worked when I was still, you know, in person in schools because the young people would just kind of, I just kind of was able to absorb it. Now I'm going to have to wait until I get a job in schools again and or until my own children are middle schoolers and they can shame me for how out of touch I am

and embarrassing I am with what I wear. You know, it's never out of touch, though. A smile. You got your jeans, and they're not going to take my fucking tight jeans from me. They're not going to take my tight jeans for me. I don't give a fuck what any of these little children say. I think of what I'm afraid you think of those.

I dare you to try to pull them off my legs. If these kids want to come and try to peel my jeans off my tiny little legs, then oh, have at it. I don't want it to. I think what you're saying is illegal. I'm just saying, this is a challenge. This is just to be fighting. them, Jackie. This is them trying to steal my pants and me beating them, me punching them as they

try to grab of me, attacking them, arresting them, zip tying them, doing what I have to do, because there's more of them than me. You're right. They are going to come after you in a hordes in the same way that they're dealing with these sexually aggressive dolphins. This is the story you can't let pass this week. I cannot, of course, there are other links. Yeah, we should probably talk about Mike Richards. Oh, Mike Richards is big ups to Jojo Siwa. He's so stupid. No one knew who he was three weeks ago.

No one gave a fucking shit who he was. And then he decided... His whole career is over. It's so funny, the idea of being an executive producer. You're so much more important than the host. Why the fuck what you want to go down to being talent? You're the executive producer. You're in charge of everything.

You could have made it anybody. He always wanted to do it. Well, guess what? No one wanted you to do it. Everybody sucks. And it's almost like he forgot. No, no. You just suck.

at it, it's almost like he forgot that he was doing all of this shit in front of people. In front of other people. That he was like, the fact that like the Jeopardy host was such a big job that everyone was talking about it and who's going to be the next one. You did this big advertising thing of like, oh, we're going to like swap out all these hosts and we're going to find the best one. And then you name yourself the host. It's not going to, like if you're going to do that, you better have a pristine record.

And also you should have worked at Jeopardy for longer than you did. No, I don't know. And it's just, you don't have any stake in it. And the fact that you have a weird pass. The thing is, if you don't have a pristine record, the main thing is, be funny. Or be good at the job. Like, if he was great at the job, it'd be a different story altogether. But he sucked.

Yeah, like Alex Debrecht, not funny, but great at the job. Be great of the job. And he always made you say, like, Guatemala. You know what I mean? Like, you know, we had the accent and stuff. That was always great. It made me feel international when I was watching it. But, you know, and then you know who I don't.

I don't feel bad for, but who got the real short end of the stick as my ambialic, who after the first series of controversy, and then they call her into B number two, and now she's trying to do all of these, like, press things being like, yes, I am happy to be the co-host of Jeopardy? Like, she doesn't even understand what her role is on the show. She can leave, too, as far as I'm concerned, man. She's got all sorts of wacky views about home births. You know, she said that some, she said, I don't personally believe. this, but some people in

the community that she is a part of believe that if the child can't survive a natural delivery, then they evolutionarily weren't meant to survive. And so it's not... That's how it works. That's why we have science and medicine

and why we have classes. Not even a natural delivery, but a home birth. Yeah. So a birth, if they can't so I do not... Cancel Jeopardy. Just cancel the show, ma'am. New show. My ambiolic is like the second worst. choice after Mike Richards. Yeah, and she'd also written that op-ed and the times, like, during, like, the height of the Me Too movement. I was like, but he never did anything to me.

Again, it's not about being, I think that this should be allowances for people to not be perfect. I don't think that you have to be perfect. Of course not. You have to, like, always be on the money with all of your takes. But again, you got to be good of the job. Don't be, like, vaguely into eugenics and against C-sections, you know? The idea that he is an unpopular stance. Yeah, eugenics should be a canceler. Yes. Is canceled culture run amok?

Perhaps sometimes. Eugenics? Cancellic. Cancell Eugenics. I'm actually, I'm with that. You know who it should be, man. Some kind of robot. That's what you mean.

Remember D. That or the dolphin. I mean, I wanted to talk about the sexually aggressive dolphin. I think the dolphin should do it. They would be a sexually aggressive dolphin would be a perfect host for Jeopardy, but they would have to be in a tank so that they can't. except but yeah, no, so they're not using their flippers, trying to get in there or anything. We don't want to have to cancel that host too, you know.

I don't know. Is it? But the dolphin didn't understand, MJ. Did you see the story? We covered it inside stories this week of the woman that had to be, she had to stop. She visited the zoo for one monkey every day, this monkey named Cheetah. And she developed a relationship with this monkey where she came every week to visit this monkey, blowing kisses at it, like giving a peaks of her tithies and stuff.

I'm not certain if it was always that far, but stuff like she'd like smash her tities up against the glass and stuff like that. And like the problem is that they had, the Belgian zoo people had to tell her to stop coming because she said that Cheetah was becoming too interested in the people. And then that what that was doing was making the rest of his group of monkeys isolate him because he wasn't like consorting with them anymore because he was getting horned up by this woman that kept coming to the glass.

You know, I get it. I think we've all been there before. You know, I'm just like, why would I want, when I want to touch those? Why would I want to hang out with the other monkeys anymore? That's the thing. And hopefully that's not what's happening with the dolphin. Hopefully the dolphin will be all right. But it's hard.

The cheat is 38 years old, which means comes out that. That's when chimster getting really aggressive. So actually he did be allowed out of the cage and maybe she tried to make love to this chimp. Honestly, the chimp would probably eat her face off and eat her hands and stuff like that. Because when they get past a certain age. Bribing yourself but via the chair? No.

Because I feel like this is something, do we need to talk? No. But before my brother becomes a chimpanzee, we have a celebrity conspiracy to get into. Do you believe it? Yes, I'll sing it with you, MJ. do you believe that Joan Crawford cursed the name of Pepsi? Yes. Now, Henry, this actually goes, this is more of an inside family thing.

It's very, very strange that Vicky Sage wrote in, thank you so much Vicky Sage, that wrote in this conspiracy that Vicky Sage came up with on her own. I'm very proud of you. And also wrote in of like, maybe this is outdated for most page 7 listeners. but you know hell it's outdated for my mid-30s ass so you can ignore it if you want you know what vicky sage we're not going to ignore it we have a personal connection to joan crawford this is one of those like very weird trivia things about the zabrowski family tell me so our grandfather on our mother's side was the head of travel for pepsi co for many many years so back in the day his job was to be a

Celebrity liaison for all of the original, like, celebrity endorsers, like, people that were, like, Pepsi people. John Wayne, they got to meet. Danny Kay, your favorite. Like, our, yeah, and our grandfather's, like, how we have pictures of our grandfather with all of these. Ronald Reagan, he got to know Ronald Reagan. He got to know Richard Nixon. Yeah, he got to know Henry Kissinger. My favorite.

To him personally. Your favorite. That's your favorite. I know how much you love Nixon. You're such a Nixon head. Nixon, Kissinger, Reagan, my top three. You love them. Top three, baby.

But also my grandfather was there in Dallas on the day that JFK was shot. Also, Pepsi was the company that helped shadow fund the Bay of Pigs invasion because when the CIA did not get official government funding for that, an official government backup, which created the resentment, which is the reason why some people thought that the CIA killed JFK, that the Pepsi was one of the people that funded that illegal operation, right? the way they went to go do that. It's very interesting. But through all of this, he got to know Joan Crawford. John Crawford married the president of PepsiCo. While our grandfather worked at Pepsi. Yes. So Vicky Sage, you had no idea, but this is actually very into everything our family is obsessed with. Yes. Oh my God. And when he died, she took over the company. Like, she became the de facto president of PepsiCo for a period of time. So she became really close with our grandfather. And then, therefore, became really close with our mother.

And then, so then Jane Crawford ended up being at my mom's first wedding. What? And was there? Oh yeah, and she has like a letter from Joan Crawford, all this shit. She's got the Joan Crawford diamonds. She's got diamonds. But it's great. So it's actually like, it's very interesting

because also as someone that like I was obsessed with watching Mommy Dearest and watch like the movie Mommy Dearest. Now we know that, you know that Mommy Dearest is technically they believe that it was mostly sland. Oh yeah. Of course. It was like based off of Tina's book about how horrible her mother was. Of course, it's going to be like at least

we're resaggerated to some extent. I mean, I don't know. I mean, some people just get hardcore beat by their actress' mothers, but it might not have been her. It might not have been. Yeah, it might been a different mother that she had that was being her

and treating her horribly. No, certain people are good, because you know who I've heard is very scary is Lily Rape. Really? She's barely very scary. Why would you mean very scary? In what way?

Intense woman, very scary. Mercurial. Beautiful, though. Kind of a Naomi Campbell style where she like throws phones and shit. I want to get into, what Vicky Sage came, like, so this is something that she created this conspiracy and, like, has put this together for us. It's like an original. So, this is an original. This is not even,

this is not even an internet conspiracy theory and I just, I'm so impressed by you. Oh, so, um, I love this because a few years ago, she says, during grad school, shout out to MJ, you're doing great. And a bit before, I became fixated with classic Hollywood and studio system movies. My first love on the silver screen was Joan Crawford. And, and, you know, And during this time, I began to develop the conspiracy of the Joan Crawford Pepsi curse. So, like you said, Henry, she married Alfred Steele in 1955, a high-up executive of PepsiCo, dude was making big money, and Joan was now one of the highest-paid women in Hollywood. And then Alfred Steele died four years into their marriage in 1959.

But that didn't stop Joan from trying to take action in the doings of Pepsi, and eventually made her way onto the board of directors. She's been noted as making major contributions to the company, even winning an award for, quote, making the most significant contribution to company sales. But in 1973, Joan was forced to retire and always the jilted party, Joan was pissed. And in my mind, cursed Pepsi and those choosing to promote the company

dooming the spokesperson to ill fates. Examples include number one, Michael Jackson. We don't need to go into all that, but remember when he caught his hair on fire? Stop like a fox, Stinger's shirt. You remember when he caught his hair on fire when he was filming the Pepsi commercial? Wow, you gotta do this shit, told me not put jazz in my hair.

Yeah, and then his hair went on fire. Number two, the spice girls. They promoted Pepsi in ads using their song Move Over, but not long after that, Jerry Hollowell left, then the whole group disbanded. But they made their money already. They had made their money already, but however, this is what the conspiracy is that

the person that is endorsing it is now cursed. What about the little girl? Is the little girl on the, Spears and oh, the little girl's on. Okay, all right. Number three, Britney Spears. And I think we all know how this is gone since her Pepsi ads started in about 2001. Number four, the adorable curly hair little girl with the dimples. She gets shot or something?

Other than being a Jesse Eisenberg sister, no, her just her career's done. Well, that's not a curse. She just wasn't, yeah, she's just not talented. Well, she was and she cashed out. Yep. And finally, Vicky's age must note, Madonna was saying. from the curse when Pepsi pulled her ad after the like a prayer video was released. Now there's one person that has not been.

Kendall Jenner. Good one. No, not cursed. Is Beyonce. Beyonce is one of the few people that has worked for Pepsi and whose promotional working for Pepsi did not ruin their career. What was the one? Wasn't it Kendall Jenner the one who like handed the Pepsi across the picket line?

Oh yeah. During like the, the Black Lives Matter stuff. It was like, what if we all just had a Pepsi together? All those protests and she's like, fix it with Pepsi. Do you see how lovey I am?

Is that candle general? I'm going to take Vicky Sage's theory and turn it on its head and say, what if she blessed Pepsi? Because again, Spice Girls disbanding, it's not like it was a blessing for the world. They could have stayed together, but it was obviously fine for all of them.

They're all totally fine. It was good for them. Michael Jackson probably needed his hair caught on fire. Well, it got him addicted to pills. The worst thing that happened to him. Actually, that's what I will say, because technically I think that really started his downfall. Because then he got addicted to the pain pills.

And then he started looking up kids' but holes like they were a periscope and he was looking at their mouth. And then like that's where things really slid from it. And then came out that horrible black and white album. And let's put him off to the side. And the little girl not having to work again. That's great. She made her money.

She's good. She's Jesse Eisenberg's sister. What else do you need? And so, yeah, I think that this might actually, what if a ghost could give a blessing instead of a curse? That's just my question. Oh, I like it. I like it.

Turn it on its positive head, because obviously Pepsi's not going anywhere. And Pepsi's going to be, it's going to be in charge of many different monopolies. Oh, yeah, that is that little girl. I'm looking her up right now. She was like, oh, yeah, she was like in all that shit. Oh, yeah.

She did a bunch of stuff as a little girl. I wonder what she did. I wonder if she was like at the fucking the insurrection. She was, but she is Jesse Eisenberg's sister. Yes, and then she went to Broadway. Oh, good one.

That's a good one. That's what she was. She went to Broadway. She was in the good guy. She was in the goodbye girl. She was in Clareboots. Bicentennial Man.

No one whose curse could be in bicentennial man. Nobody. You're right. Except for Robin Williams. Except for Robb. Yes. So sad. I think that this is a great. I'm just so excited. Thank you so much. So do you, so obviously, you believe but maybe the opposite, MJ. I believe, but the opposite. I love this theory. I just think that we can turn that frown upside down. Upside down. All he knows that I've had a Pepsi recently and it's not as good as I remember.

Whoa, it's very syrupy. It's a lot to. It is. But Coke is kind of an overall better experience. I don't drink soda as much anymore. So now it's up, like, when I drink a Coke, it's like my whole body goes like, and I don't have the same reaction when I drink a Pepsi. Well, I need your whole body to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it's time for the list. Yay!

Who's got the list? MJ, got out of that list. This list, 15 actors whose bodies were wrecked by their movies. So I had brought, like, included. this list because of all of the heat right now that Sarah Paulson is getting. American Horror Story? For wearing a fat suit in, no, not, no. She's so good in the new American horror story.

Is she really? She's so good. No, I was talking about her in the impeachment American crime story that she's playing Marcia Clark and she's wearing, or I'm sorry, she's playing Linda Trish. She's playing Linda Tripp. That was played by John Goodman on Saturday Night Live. And so she wore a fat suit. for it, even though originally she had said that she would never wear a fat suit and that she was going to gain the weight for it.

She understood how difficult that was as soon as she started trying probably in that process. I would assume, and it's hard for me because I think that as a fat woman, I think that there is a time and a place, I think like if you're a pretty little liars and it is a, it's just the butt of a joke. If it's a shallow howl and it's just the butt of a joke, it's just to make someone look disgusting. but part of me does like, I mean, she's trying to look like fucking Linda Tripp. I mean, they could have definitely hired somebody who looked like Linda Tripp.

I think that's the argument, right? They should have hired someone. Very talented. I know that she is the like American crime story person. Yes. But I do think that that's the argument. But I also hear you, Jackie, that like,

you know, if it's going to be like, we're going to just stick with her, then you can, you know, call it makeup. Again, it doesn't feel like fat suit, like shallow hal style. No, it's classic. bit different about this, but you're completely right. They should have hired someone that was an older,

bigger woman and given them the opportunity. Yeah, but it's not going to be Sarah Paulson. That's the problem. It's not going to be Sarah Paulson. So you're going to get one or the other. I also think, like, what are we going to do? We're going to be mad about the nutty professor? Come on. Cancelain. It comes down to you.

That's a fun. That was fun. I mean, but clumps. Clumps. We're going to be mad about the clumps. Hercules. Hercules.

Hercules. But did you know that Russell Crow is missing cartilage in his toes because of Cinderella. man. It was the result of the movements he was forced to make in the movies fight sequences. He played a heavyweight boxing champion. I listened to him and Howard Stern not that long ago. And he was talking about how he lives a life of constant pain. He really hurt himself back in the day doing stunts because he said that and he regrets it for forever because he said that he was like too masculine back in the day to

let stuntmen do his shit. But guess what it did? It wrecked his whole fucking life. So he said that every day he lives in pain. He's got, he's got no cartilage in his toes. You could tip him right over. But don't, because I think he's drunk enough. You're like, hey, hey, hey, help me. How are you do? Maybe that's why he's so famously not nice because he's got no cartilage in his toes. I'll tell you what.

I once sat next to him while he was eating breakfast once. And the thing about him, I know now because of my time with him, is that he's very smelly. That could also contribute to him not being nice because he's very smelly. And Natalie worked with him. him on Noah and he was he was not nice at that time but then he but he's very professional well speaking speaking of professional Johnny Knoxville's eye fell out while he was shooting action point he blew his nose after a really bad concussion and his left eye popped out it turned out that one of his bones around his eye

was destroyed cool I think it's you know there are things in your life that until you hear it said aloud you're like oh that's um that's a nightmare of mine oh that's I think something that, like, I don't know how I would live after it. Because I know that, like, you just put it back in. And I know that it's good, probably going to be fine. But the feeling of it popping out, I'm like, how do I not think about that every night when I go to see? You'd scream. Same thing happened to Raul Jr.

Oh, yeah, that's why he had the eye pop out thing, though. He had that syndrome. Yeah, it's like that bulging eye syndrome, whatever it is. But he sneezed. It's like a cartoon. He sneezed at a bar and his eye popped out. And I forgot, it was during the shooting of Street Fighter. And then he went like,

and popped it back in his head like he was Mr. Potato Head it's so sweet Can you imagine being at a bar and looking over it being like that guy's gonna sneeze and then he's like his eye popped down

Bop it back in Although I think part of it I've always wanted that Speaking of our grandfather of like I am looking forward to having like either like I can take out my eye or I can take out my teeth Just to scare the children

Because Oh thank you All right, then I'll pop out my eyes. And then I'll start putting him in your beer. And you'll be like, oh, oh. Oh, what a spooky beer. But speaking of body parts on your face, Helena Bonham Carter perforated Matthew Lewis's eardrum in Harry Potter.

In a scene where Belatrix threatens Neville Longbottom. She poked his ear with her wand just as he moved. Luckily the injury was temporary. Also a nightmare. At least it was as he moved because, like, I thought that meant, like, She was putting the wand inside of his ear to make him upset because I was talking to a friend of mine not that long ago. He was like, man, if you ever, he's like, if you still use Q-tips, which you shouldn't, I was using a Q-tip all I was walking and I tripped and I perforated my ear. I use a Q-tip.

I use it the bad way every day. You're not supposed to, Henry. Yeah, man. Yeah, guess what? I do it, though. Yeah, I'm not supposed to. There's a lot of shit I'm not supposed to do, but I still fucking do it. Right?

I eat a lot of fucking bad fats. Yeah, I'm a rebel. You are. Do I give myself an ear orgasm? Yes. Ew. Okay, but Daniel Craig lost his two front teeth. This is a literal nightmare of mine.

I have this nightmare all the time. My teeth fall out. Daniel Craig lost his two front teeth on the shoot of Casino Real. They were knocked out during a fight scene, but apparently he was cool and collected about it. They quickly flew him to a dentist to replace his teeth. Yeah, because he's fucking Daniel Craig. You get flown immediately to a dentist and they can fix it.

Can you imagine how long it would take? It takes me a week. you can have just to get a dead disappointment. Then I'd show up with my two teeth in my hands. Then it'd be like, I don't, these teeth are bad. We're going to have to put some starter teeth or like some kind of like weird like they put on like, you know those donuts they put on your like your tire or whatever. Like if you get a flat that you could drive around for 20 miles, but it's just like two fake chicklet teeth. I thought you meant like a butt donut so that you were going to put like a big like inflatable thing inside your mouth.

I'm like, I find it. I don't need a car or a again. I could do it, especially if you tell me not to do it. You could. You are bad to the bone right now. Yep, I'm a rebel. And our last item on the list,

Kate Winslet got injured on Titanic so much that they had to keep track of her bruises. Makeup artists would take photos of the bruises to ensure continuity, and she chipped a bone in her elbow at one point during the shoot, too. That must have been when all of the moving sets and shit. She must have just kept him crashing into things.

She's got that fair skin, those pale, a pale, soft skin. And it must bruise so easily. She must be careful. I hope she's careful. I hope wherever she is, she's in styrofoam. Mayor of East Town. Mayor of East Town. I hope she didn't get hurt on that.

I hope so, too, because she would bruise so easily. I saw Gillian Anderson once in person. Frale? She bruises easily. Very frail. No. Well, she was on crutches, so yes, at the time she was very frail. Oh, no, I was trying to remember the name

of that because everything that we read I've never actually watched, I know that there's a show about the making of the Titanic and how awful it was. Ooh, I want to watch that. And I can't bring myself to watch it because I know that everything, because it's like, remember, we talked about this on here before

when like a bunch of people got dosed with PCP on one of, like, during one of the like meals. That's cool. That would be perfect for me because it was a, it was like a movie that I had such extremely strong feelings about for like one year and then have now, I have no stake in Titanic.

So it's like, it is no problem for me if I find out that it was awful. It's not like many movies that I love that I, if you tell me that singing in the rain is an awful movie, I'm like, I'm not going to watch that documentary about why it's awful. I don't want to know that.

But I don't care if Titanic is, because it's not like I need that movie, you know? So it's like, I'm fine with that. No, that works. Our hearts do go on. sometimes, except when you finally die. Oh. You just turn into dirt.

You just turn into worm food. But will my heart go on? No. If I can't see anymore. Because I think I'm going. Blind. Items. Oh, I can see them.

But I can see them because holding still in Daddy Town. Yeah, he's becoming the old mayor of Daddy Town. I think actually he might be the garbage man of Daddy Town. Daddy Town needs a garbage man. You produce a lot of garbage. I can't even imagine. Yeah, where are you going to put it? Can't even imagine what do you do with all these diapers.

Oh, now this one, you know what? This blind got me yelling about other things. So this is more for you, MJ. This A-Hole actor has been acting since he was a kid. Yelled at his model girlfriend at dinner the other night until she broke down in tears. He also wouldn't let her go to the bathroom because then everyone would think he was a jerk and made her run off crying. But I need more than that.

A whole actor when he was a kid, now I'm just thinking about Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay, so no, for a show that we both still currently watch. And he broke the heart. Yes. Yeah, I bet he's mean because his show's not getting as much play as he thought it would. It was a year ago. Nobody cares about the show anymore.

It's past. It's in the past tense now. Well, it's not in the past tense. We still care. We still care. show we like to call Riverdale Roundup that happens every week. And you should check it out.

Well, I guess now Henry's going to have to guest star on the show and he's going to have to watch Riverdale. Yeah, you know if I was on Riverdale and I would just play a child molester. No, you're guessing on our podcast, we're going to make you watch all five.

Is there five seasons? Jesus Christ. You're not going to get Riverdale money, no. No. I will watch a current new episode and then try to describe to you what I think has happened. I mean, I do always love that. I just went on a table.

tirade earlier because it makes me angry when someone that's like, man, he's openly vitriolic towards fans. He is openly angry all the time about like everyone being in his business. Bro, this is what you're in. Your twin who was like working an working actor when you guys were both working together has chosen not to be in entertainment. Yeah. Maybe just don't do it then, bro. Yeah. I know what to say. You sign up for a certain job. You get rid of your privacy. The fans are the best part of the job. That's what I don't understand. Having people like you everywhere you go, that's kind of like the dream of being a hollow person like we are in the entertainment industry. I need people to like me just for my present. And Kohlspers also had so much

goodwill built up around him. It was like everyone was like, oh, you're like the Zach and Cody. You're the big daddy boy. Like he had so, like it's just, he's just been burning through it. Like you're in Riverdale. Like he could have had it. He could have totally been like a, oh, like that was a child star who grew up and then had like a good career and he's And instead he's like having a good career, but he's not nice. He probably got promised a bunch of shit how like all of the stuff was going to like lead to a bunch of like movies and all that stuff. And then when it didn't materialize, he got really bitter. Yeah.

And well, who knows? And maybe that's what was going on with this couple. Or maybe she was stealing his money. Do you know that? Maybe the model was stealing all of his money. He was yelling at her for good reason. But she is like, she's a well-known model. She doesn't need his fucking money.

I don't know. I was just, I didn't want to be. I don't. I like it. I like wear your heads. I like. you know you're digging for gold. But there is a voice recording of this foreign-born A-list, mostly movie actress,

after finishing a take in a recently released sequel. The recording is an epic blowout between the actress and her A-list actor husband. The recording lasts about five minutes before she realized the sound was still rolling from the scene. The recording is the complete opposite of how they portray themselves to the public. Oh, no, there are so many clues in this. I'm not going to be able to ask for more clues. So foreign woman actress, currently in a sequel. Currently in a sequel, both a list.

Correct. Husband and wife with a foreign-born wife. Movie theatrical release? Yes, theatrical release. And I will say they were in the movie and or created it together. I know, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. Good job, Henry. On a quiet place too, which is some of the nods in this.

John Krasinski's full of shit, but he's a better director than he's an actor. I do like what he's doing as a director. I think he's doing a good job. But the fact that he sold the concept of good news. I remember when he told some good news, Henry and I screamed about John Krasinski for in such a long time. Being like, he just sold the concept of good news for 20. million dollars.

Yeah. But you noticed that did not materialize. Interesting how we did it. How everyone was so excited about wholesome content. Now they're not anymore. All right. And this is our last one. And this is another throwback one that I'm a little sad that Holden's not here because I had

no idea about this. But they recently did an episode on him. So, foreign born actor was involved in multiple movie franchises, including some of the biggest ever. I'm not going to say what they are, I'll give you clues later on if you need them. He was right there in the front and center. He had an extremely long career that spanned nearly six decades.

This is actually not about his acting career, though. It's about a book that's currently being written about him. Specifically, several chapters in this book had to be removed from the book because this foreign government didn't want them to see the light of day. Our actor, during World War II, was tasked with trying to figure out a way to kill Adolf Hitler. It was his main focus for nearly the last year of the war. And because of that, he also spent a great deal of time tracking other high-ranking Nazi officials and was responsible for many kills prior to the end of the war and then after the war, tracking them down and arresting them. The book did a deep dive into the Hitler stuff, but also whether it's true that he was the one person not in the Soviet army who was shown the bodies of Hitler and the Goebbels family.

Foreign-born actor. who Holden, so he's like got to be in a nerd movie. It's not like Ian McClellan, is it? It's not, but it is similar. Patrick Stewart? Christopher Lee. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Christopher Lee.

He talks openly about how he's killed many people. But then there's all, what I've heard is that that is also, that might be exaggerated. Whoa. The story is on Lord of the Rings, he was just like, well, when you actually kill a man, it's actually very silent. What's important to do stab a man along? And the air comes out of him and dies. It was silent fashion.

It's like, all right, Christopher. That's exactly what I was talking with Jeff about this morning when I saw the thing and he was like, yeah, because they were talking about that literal thing of like he was supposed to be stabbed in the lung and they wanted him to like scream. Like, scream.

And he's like, no, no, a man who stabbed in the lung. He dies silent. He dies silently. He was like, whoa. Lunch time. We gotta go. Oh, man, that rules though. Oh, we got to get any.

What, Nazi killer? Put that in the top line of your bio. That's cool. Honestly. More actors should have had more experience killing people. I mean, I really feel like more actors should have went to war and should have done more of that. Get in there. You know, feel the real human feelings.

I don't know if Adam Driver saw it. I don't think he saw any combat though. Maybe I'm wrong. Did he see combat? No, I think that he had an injury that he was like, he was like, I think about to be deployed, if I remember correctly. Didn't you say, I thought he was like famously at PTSD or something. Is it? I don't know.

I thought that he wasn't, or I thought that he just like was more of, the upset of like ready to give your life for your country and then it all got taken away from him because he was a Marine so he just had to use his big face in a different way he's got those strange people love his body but it's it's interesting I think he looks great what are you talking about I still but also I'm a last Jedi stand and I love it so much that I wasn't going to watch I have not I have never not I've never not seen a star wars movie into the last new movie because it made me so sad the way that they all treated the way The Last Jedi went down because I love that movie so damn much. I understand.

I don't. I haven't seen all of them and I have no idea. I haven't seen The Mandalorian and I won't. I won't see it. But also I can see again. Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much. But before we go, we've got to do our...

Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! These are the things that you wrote in about. Come on. Come on. We're going to read them to you.

Come on. Perfect. Oh, it's going to come out just one day after, but Melissa has sent in. An amazing shout out to their best friend, Hannah, who is turning 25 on the 1st of September. Yes, that was yesterday. And yes, I know it's the same birthday as Zendaya, no big deal. But Melissa is so sweet. And Melissa says, Hannah is a wickedly funny, intelligent, beautiful.

soul who has made my life a thousand times better for being in it. We were co-workers at Sephora when we first met commiserating over ridiculous customers and horrible makeup trends. Our friendship grew from there and I can honestly say she is the best. She doesn't take shit from anybody and can make me roll over laughing at her jokes. She's been there for me through layoffs and relationship woes, always there to let me vent or calm me down. I take credit for introducing her to Last Podcast Network and page 7 and thus,

cementing our friendship by watching cats for my birthday this past May. And I'm so happy, Melissa and Hannah, that you both love, the pregnant with cats episode, All Hail the Virgo Queen. And that is not the only Virgo Queen we've gotten our shoutouts today. We are giving a shout out to my sweet, sweet Sarah Bug from Rob. Happy 29th birthday. He says, I'm so happy that you and my sister. sibling became, I will say, Rob, I had to read this a couple of times because it was like, wait a second, is this, I don't know, maybe I was just tired. I thought it was

a yucky thing at first, and then I had to read it and, but this is Sarah Buck, your love is not yucky and your birthday's not yucky. Rob says, I am so happy that you and my sibling became friends so long ago that I've been blessed to know you for nearly all my life. and I can't believe that I was so lucky as to commit the ultimate sibling sin and take the risk of kissing you all those years ago. You give me confidence to be myself even when it's tough. You fill my heart with love, my stomach with butterflies, and my brain with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Every time you hold me close, I love it.

Thanks for being my little spoon, but more importantly, my big spoon, when you can see that I need it too. I'm so proud of you for everything you've achieved this year, and I know it's just going to get better and better because you are easily one of the most talented and hardworking people I've ever met. I couldn't imagine making our dreams come true with anyone else. My lover bug, my baby bead, my little shug.

I love you with my whole heart, Rob. Now, Rob, your pet song, I don't know what song it is, and I like it, because you said, if you feel like putting your own spin on a classic pet song of ours, and I'm going to assume it's sweet, sweet, sweet baby, Bein, the sweetest bean that I ever seen my sweet baby bean. It might not be that song, though. I love you guys and I love your love.

And beautiful Jared wrote in a shout out to his co-host. I love it. I wanted to give a shout out to my co-host, Michael Costa. Our podcast, The Photography Brothers, just past 30 episodes. And his hard work, passion, and dedication allowed us to put out great content. even during the pandemic. Thanks for all your inspiration and making a show

that reminds me not to take life. So seriously all the time, I love you so much. And thank you so much, Jared, for writing in. And again, the podcast is called The Photography Brothers. Check it out with Jared and Michael Costa. And we've got a beautiful self-shout.

You know I love a self-shout. This goes out to you, Kara. I'm shouting myself out for starting a new position at my work. I'm proud of myself for leaving a not-great situation. Now I'll have weekends off. I'm starting to see some stuff come together in my life and feel better all around. Hell yeah, Kara.

You fucking go get it. It is so difficult to force and enact change in our lives, but it's so necessary, and I'm so proud of you for doing it. And I've got a kiss and a hug that goes out to Nate. Nate, I loved your email, and thank you so much for writing in. And Nate wanted to give a shout out to his younger brother, Davis Coltrane, and their cousin Jack, for introducing him to the LPN Network. He says, the last podcast boys taught me that I'm not a psychopath, and page seven taught me how to understand pop culture.

I'm just a silly exterminator who loves his wife and adoptive daughter, and we love you too, Nate. And he absolutely loved, in fact, I need you to know, Nate, that I sent this specifically to Holden so that he would see it. I love that you wrote, congratulations on fatherhood, blessings to your family. The generic thing is to call you a lizard, but you're so cool, you're a dragon.

Your daughter is a cool-ass dragon princess. Ugh, love it, mate. Thank you so much. And we've got another Virgo Queen. It's Tim's girlfriend's birthday on September 3rd. And yes, Carrie, this birthday shout-out goes out to you. He says, you beautiful, magnificent bastard, it's your birthday. Here we are another weird trip around the sun.

Another great episode of Page 7 to listen to while driving across the state for barbecue or donuts or cooking dinner together. Thank you for introducing me this amazing podcast. It adds to the list of reasons. I love you. And I hope today is as exciting as second breakfast. And I love you so very much. Ah, another love that I love.

And we've got a great shout-out coming in from Erica Square. Yes, that's what I called, y'all. Keeks is named Erica, but goes by Keeks. And Keeks is sending love to Erica, but not the original Erica. She's a different Erica. Keek says, I just landed my dream job in the toy industry, which entails moving from Chicago to New York, which means you're leaving your Erica behind. She says, I'm so excited. But every time you think about leaving Erica, my heart breaks into a million pieces.

So I've been pushing her away. They didn't call me Eric Cunt in high school for nothing. Love it. I feel like I definitely, if I was your friend, I would 100% would have called you an Eric Cunt. I, um, it's great. She says, baby, I want you to know that no matter where this next venture takes me, I will never find a friend who loves as fiercely or unwaveringly as you. I know you've been feeling stuck lately, but I'm so proud of you and don't know what I would

do without our 3 a.m. driveway hot boxes, Jeopardy marathons, or game nights. I adore you endlessly and I'm thankful for you every single day. Ah, uh, friendship love is just at. as important or even more important than your regular partnership, and it makes me so happy. Thank you guys so much for writing in your shoutouts, and you can write in shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is page the number 7 podcast at gmail.com along with anything. If you've got an article, you want me to check out, if you've got a celebrity conspiracy theory you want me to check out, I am here and ready and willing.

legs akimbo and all. Thank you guys so much for writing in and I love you, I love you, I love you. And thank you guys so much for joining us. And thank you so much, Henry. Thank you. For joining us for page seven. I know that we all miss Holden,

but having fun, new guests to give us a smile really puts us into a happy zone. Yes, if you have any chance, watch the 50-part documentary about Chris Chan and see what that does to you mentally. You have been trying to get me to watch this for so long. I want someone to share my pain with me and I need to figure out of someone to speak to about it

because Kistle won't watch it. Marcus definitely won't watch it and it's pure pain. It is literally nothing but it's not... Yeah, I'll leave that to your sister. I'm not going to do that for you. Sorry. Don't do that. Don't do that. You don't want me to do it, Henry? No, no, you have to.

MJ, save yourself. No, it just took me three weeks to finish F-B, Boy Island, so don't give me any big a sign. That's okay. Yeah, but it's all about, is there a reason, Henry, that you want me to get into this, like, incest story? I need you to tell, I need to speak with somebody. I understand.

I felt the same way about the Green Knight, which we still haven't been able to talk about. But thank you, and... Third act was interesting. It was all very interesting. And, Henry, where can we find you? Where? I don't fucking know, man. Um, you can find the last podcast

on the left. I do that. Amanda. Oh, God. Oh, no. You don't even know, bro? Last part, my guess in the left. Yeah, and then, yeah, and everything else. And thank you so much.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm and come check out. I've been doing more Twitch stuff because I miss it and I miss hold in over at twitch.tv. forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie on Tuesdays and Thursdays. and I've been playing around with playing some monster prom on Friday.

So come roll through and check it out, MJ. I'm MJ and I'm MJ K-L-K-K-L-Kat on Instagram. Yes. We love it. And we'll love you and we'll talk to you guys next week. Bye. Bye. See you in hell.

No. See you in hell. Okay. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.