Page 7 - Ep. 416: I Don't Want You to Put Your Horny on My Dune

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

This week we are joined by the Mugshot Roastmaster himself, Ed Larson from The Brighter Side, as we goss' bout Jackie's continued downfall into Sopranos obsession, the tragic death of Michael K. Williams, Tyra Banks new SMiZE Cream, including a flavor that seems very familiar, and the fact that before he was a giant shark Stallone was just a man with mustard stained pants and a hatred for Richard Gere, the list, shout outs and in Celebrity...Movie?...Conspiracy Corner; The fact that Forest Gump died at the beginning of the movie?!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You woke up this morning Got yourself a good Doodle La-l-Dol-Dur-Dol-D-L-A-N-A-N-MOM. Mama always said you be the chosen world She said You're one in a million You've got to burn to shine But you were born under a bad sign

With a blue moon in your eyes Yeah You woke up this morning Ha ha ha Got yourself a good Be Got yourself a good Me with a blue moon in your eye.

I can't stop singing it. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's been weeks. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I have to, I'm not certainly not going to stop watching the Sopranos. And I can't stop watching the intro theme song. I've been listening to it on Spotify. That's correct.

It's sickness. Okay, that is a little bit weird. I was going to defend you up until listening to it on Spotify three times this morning. So you love it. Alabama 3. What's up? Welcome, Eddie.

Eddie's also here. I'm sorry. I got too excited about the Sopranos. I immediately want to start screaming about the Sopranos. Yes. Like it's 2004 all over again. It's one of the best shows. I just,

I just been, I just rewatched it over quarantine the whole thing. It's so good. Oh, so you're, it's fresh in your mind, Eddie. That's perfect. It is. It is very fresh in my mind.

And it's so good. It just blows my mind how funny it is every single time. It is one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. Not to mention it changed. I watched it, I want to say, uh, with since having children, but probably not since the pandemic. So that puts me at like one and a half to three years ago. It's relatively fresh in my mind. It's still, it's like, and I'm so glad because obviously I went through life not seeing in color, you know, until I saw the Sopranos. And then I suddenly realized, oh my, this is what everybody has been talking about.

This is why everyone talks about the end of the Sopranos. Oh my God. When I, when we watched the end of the Sopranos, I, Gideon probably still. remembers how loud I screamed. I was just like, that's the last episode! So, you know, it's fresh enough in my mind that I feel like extremely powerful emotions every time I watch the Many Saints of Newark trailer,

which I have now watched many times. Very excited. Very excited. How do we feel about spoilers about Sopranos? It's been over a decade. This is tough, though, because on the one hand, I feel like on the show, we do give spoiler. Jackie just gave a great spoiler for

what movie were we talking about from like the 70s recently. You know, there's just certain times. What's in the box? We hit a point. We know what's in the box. We know what a lot of the movies happened in the 70s. You know, it's like, it happens. I am watching, so

I'm watching the Sopranos right now. I know I think I've sprinkled this into a couple of episodes, but I've been watching the Sbranos for, it is Jeffrey's first time watching the Sopranos. And my a hundred millionth time watching the Sopranos. And I think that I've talked about this on here before of like the East Coast, West Coast thinking of like,

I never thought about this before because it was like, I don't understand. I'm not usually one of those people of, you haven't seen it. But with this, I feel like everyone I knew watched this show. And I think it is an East Coast

versus West Coast thing. And I'm not saying, I know that it's a very general thing to say. But I was just obsessed with the mafia. And I think, maybe growing up in New York or Jersey, or I think that that does change your thinking about it because some people don't have them up on a pedestal the way I think people that were raised in Queens do.

And I'm very connected. I'm very interested in all of it. And The Sopranos is just such a good show and watching it for the first time through the beautiful eyes of a newborn bang. It's been such a delight. And it makes me so, like sometimes I try not to like watch his reaction because sometimes things just come out of nowhere.

And I love it. I just, I know that this is late, but I don't have talking TV anymore. And you guys have to hear me talk about it. I'm obsessed with the Sopranos all over again. So where are you? Season 5, episode 8. Nice. And we are, so we're thick in it.

And I said to Jeff last night, what are we going to do when the Sopranos is over? He's like, it's just a television show. But I know it's just a television show. And I guess, I don't know if I can do the wire again. RIP, can we just say it? I know. Can we just say I am, I'm actually genuinely very upset about Michael J. Williams. I, like, started crying, like, immediately.

Like, I don't usually do that for celebrity deaths, but I was just like, man, this one hits so fucking hard. He was so brilliant. And, like, you know, everything you ever saw him do outside. of acting was all was like as brilliant as everything he ever did like all these videos of him dancing like I had no idea he was a singer and a dancer yeah like just like a a beaming light of a presence it just is such a terrible terrible loss yeah no it's definitely reminiscent of philip seymour Hoffman devastated for honestly the projects that we could have gotten like that is where i'm and also like what a like a black queer icon is

well from Omar and the Wire and like and he's done so much. Such is that Lovecraft country. Oh my God. So good. Yeah. No. He was unbelievable. He was unbelievable as a queer icon.

And he's greatly, he was so important. He like normalized it in a community that normally doesn't normalize that sort of thing, you know? And so he was so important. And he was so talented. Everything he did. If he was in something for five minutes,

like the road. You guys ever seen the road? No, I haven't seen the road. Yes. And also the Sopranos episodes. He's in two Sopranos episodes. He is? His first big break.

Yes. And he's the one that's watching Little Jackie, like right around the time when he was dating Meadow. Oh, wow. And I'm not going to, no spoilers, but he has to go away for a bit. And he's staying with Michael Kay Williams. That's right. With the daughter who's really, really smart.

And he's like, yeah, I teach her things. Like, I know that we live in the projects, but like, I'm trying to. I'm trying to get her out of the projects. And, like, little Jackie has that, like, relationship with her, like, with his little daughter. Yeah. Sorry, I'm getting way too into Sopranos right now. But Michael gave, like, even just a small bit part that he brought so much to. And he was just, everyone says that he was not only so good on set to everyone that he worked with,

but also so good in the community in general of the different organizations. he not only created but funded and he's and was like hands on with them as well. Politicians were tweeting about it. It's different, you know. Advocate and activist. I haven't gone back and looked it up yet, but everyone, I saw people tweeting about like this episode, because he's from East Flatbush in Brooklyn and there's this episode of, with Anthony Bourdain where they're walking around Flatbush and people keep stopping Michael K. Williams not to be like,

you're a celebrity, but to be like, hey, man like I know you from the neighborhood. You know, like he was just like a guy in the neighborhood, you know, like, and it's just so incredible to think about Anthony Bordaid and Michael K. Williams walking around and just like chatting with people, you know. I mean, heroin, that's what they're saying it was. Like, how do you, in Philip Seymour Hoffman, the same thing. How are you such a good actor on heroin?

You know, I couldn't imagine like spelling cat, you know, like while on heroin. I just, it blows my mind. And now I really want to start watching so, and I did not know about this show. He was, he just finished up the second season of the TV show Black Market for over on Vice with Michael K. Williams. And essentially, it is, it's an episodic show where Viceland calls it like his most personal project to date, where he takes a look at underground economies in America and beyond. He meets people who are willing to break the law and risk everything they have just to get by.

But while digging into the topics, Williams discusses his own issues with addiction, crime, and poverty. So it's like a mixture of him talking about the issues of his past. And he just was about to finish the second season of it. And of course, now I've got to start watching this. And so again, it's called Black Market. And I just, it's hard and it's scary when you read about these things of like, man, no matter how much you can be an advocate and you can talk about your issues that it can't be. break what's inside of your brain and it can't get into that cycle no matter how, like, even knowing how many people are relying on you.

Yeah. And it, it just devastates me that immediately when I read it and I was like, it can't be just the drug. So like, is that just how they're spinning it? Because of course they're like, we found his bot, like, the nephew found his body, but with drug paraphernalia around. It's like, all right, well, what does that mean? That could also just meet a bomb.

Right. At this point, you never know with the media. And of course, it hasn't come back yet. But this one hit me really fucking hard. Hit so, so hard. And yeah, I mean, the why, I feel like the, I have, I actually do want to rewatch the wire because when I first watched the wire, I was like, this is the best TV show ever made. I feel like I could now watch it with like a slightly more critical eye in terms of like,

I feel like David Simon has fallen from Grace a little bit in my eyes. But I think the wire as a show is still like an incredible piece. of, you know, of art and culture. And I feel like Michael K. Williams was like central to that, you know, like, I really just- He was the reason everyone watched. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What's happened with David Simon?

I'm ignorant to this. Oh, he, nothing, nothing in particular. It's not like he's, like, it's just that I think that sometimes David Simon gets out ahead of his skis a little bit in terms of, like, speaking about the communities he portrays. Like, I think that he does not quite do the best job of being like, I am. I'm a writer with a limited perspective in my own experience, and I can tell very good stories, but also it's like very important to listen to other people. And I can't even, there was like a couple of things specifically where there was like kind of people just being like, David Simon, perhaps you should just acknowledge like the limits of your own perspective. And he was not doing that. But you know, but that's fine. You know, but my thing with with the, it was good for me because I often am looking for, you know, heroes. And it's like, and I and I've read David. Simon's book called The Corner.

I've never seen the show that he made, but the book was, like, incredible. I absolutely loved it. And so I had really put him up on this pedestal of, like, this is a guy who is, like, the only person who can tell these stories as well as he can. And so it's good for me as a person who does that with art to just be like, art can be very good and made by somebody very talented, but also I don't have to, like, say that, you know, that person is, you know, good no matter what and, like, worship them uncritically, you know.

Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely. We can't do to him what we do to Oscar Isaac, which I will say I have him firmly. I worship him uncritically. And I can do no wrong. I can't not worship him. Why, Eddie, how do you feel about Oscar Isaac? I started off, like, completely in love with everything he did. And then recently, he's kind of like gotten a little cheesy in my brain. I hear, yeah. But, you know, but at the same time, he's great. It's undeniable. Ex Machina.

his performance in that is one of the best I think I've ever seen. And, you know, I also love annihilation. Oh, so good. And show me a hero. Davis. Yeah, show me a hero is so good. I think that's David Simon.

Let me double check that. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a fantastic show. He was so, that was my first exposure to Oscar Isaac. And I loved that show. I thought it was great.

And I didn't like have a boner for him at first. during that show. And then I think it was ex machina that did it for me. Which is weird because he's not especially hot in that either. Like it's just, you know,

he plays some weirdo. I quake for him. And I will say, if there's one way to get your Dune-loving brother to be really upset, it's the hump at the poster every time I see him on it

at the AMC. And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me, give me, between him and Zendaya, Jason Momo. I mean, you know why I'm going to go see Dune. And Henry has said,

I'm not allowed to see it with him. He's like, you're gonna horny all over it. And I don't want you to put your horny on my dune. And he's like, there's nothing horny about Dune. You need to stop. There's nothing horny about it. You to put your horny on my Dune is like, great sentence, by the way. Sounds like Dune's pretty horny to me.

The poster you just described sounds like the horniest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, the worm is a big asshole. You know, what are we even talking about? There's spice all over the place. And there's like, like, it's all run by like really, oh, God, if he heard this, he'd flip out. It's like all like a matriarchal thing where it's like run by these like, like forward seeing none goddesses of some sort. It's great. It's great.

Zendaya's going to be amazing. I'm very excited about it. And Oscar Isaac. But of course, that's not what we're talking about here. We are talking about the kiss on the arm heard around the world. Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac on the red carpet Mama Yes please

What a couple I mean I know they're not a couple His wife But this is I think it's great that they're married to other people Because if I was a spouse to either of them I would be turned on by that too You know

Also honestly in how comfortable They are together and the fact that honestly They have played now of interest. And so this is all, and I did not know about this. We'll talk about this in the second, scenes from a marriage. But they've also, they've worked together. So they're friends. They went to college together. They went to college together. Like, these are two people that know each other. So you know how horny that gets. Yeah. Imagine you and anybody you did theater with in college together and looking at them like that, you know, like that's, I did not have that relationship with my fellow performers in college. But. Nor do I have it 20 years later, but what did I did? Oh, my gosh. Good Lord.

And, of course, immediately you look it up and they're like, but they're married to other people. I know. But, like, you can even see you and they're like, but they're holding hands as they walk down the red carpet. Oh, come on. It makes for a great, everybody's talking about this trailer that I didn't fucking know about.

And I look at celebrity gossip every fucking day. So this immediately brought it to the top of, what everybody was talking about. It's great. They're very smart and they're very hot. Yeah. And hot people, I mean, it's a little bit spicier than you might want your spouse to be with somebody else.

But also, it's, again, I feel like hot people who, especially actors who work very closely together, are like allowed to flirt and look sulturally at each other, even people that they're not married to. And maybe kiss other people's arms. Again, I might feel deeply jealous if I was married to Oscar Isaac and he did that with Jessica Chastain. I also might be like, yeah, that's my husband, you know? I feel like, I completely understand, and I wouldn't want, I don't think, my husband to do the same thing.

But you have to remember, too, if you're looking at this entertainment tonight video, it is in slow motion. This happens very fast. And I think it's also the kind of thing of like this wasn't like a long glance of needing in the, like a long glance of needing in the. lusting. They're in the middle of taking a bunch of pictures. He does the thing. Like, it's like, he just looks over at her as someone that he does love in a different way. Yeah. And maybe I've watched the video a lot. And maybe I think about putting my face over Jessica Chastain's. Maybe. And if I knew Photoshop, maybe I'd try to do it. But I don't. And that's for the best. How do you not look at Jessica Chastain like that? She's an angel. She's my celebrity crush. I'll

tell you that much. always has been. I can't get enough of her. She's so good. Take shelter. She was so beautiful in that movie. Oh, and Lawless. I mean, it's unbelievable.

It's one of the few things Henry and I see eye to eye on, I think, is our taste in women is very similar. All she did in response to all of this video and everything, all of the hubbub, was just September 12th with a devil smile, which also goes to show. And with a picture of Gomez kissing Morticia on the arm. Yes. Yeah, that's cute. It's a travesty that we can't see Oscar Isaac play Gomez Adams in live action. It's so crazy. Why'd they make them fat?

Gomez has never been fat. Why'd they make them fat? I know it's a cartoon, but it drove me, he's a sex. I can't watch it. I feel like I just can't. I want to see him play it in real life. I don't want to see a cartoon version of him because he would do the smolder so well. Yeah.

Missed opportunity for it to not be live action. Yeah. I love that Bet Midler's playing the grandma, though. I think that's such a fun casting in the Adams family. It is very, it is interesting with the, I like that Bet Midler pops up in the celebrity gossip every once in a while. But she essentially, I didn't even include this because I don't want to go down the river of Bet Midler right now because I love Bet Midler, but sometimes she's old and she's out of touch. And like, like, in. No way.

I know. Crazy. She's in her fucking 70s or 80s. She tweets like, she tweets like you're embarrassing, like it, like an embarrassing. Like an embarrassing relative is on Twitter, you know? Like that's up. And then she goes viral because she's about Midler and everyone's like, oh, that middler. And it's like, let the lady tweet.

She doesn't know what she's talking about. She referenced Lisa Strata in the tweet in Texas of everything it's going because we're not even going to touch Texas right now. I screamed about it for a long time on the Twitch last night. But she said like in Liz Estrada essentially, let's just boycott sex then. Nobody gets sex in Texas until they change it. I'm like, that is a great 1972 take on this

Bet Midler. Yes, exactly. It is not. This presumes like universal heterosexuality. It's like punish. It's actually like most men are also pro choice. And it's just like there are a lot of academic takedowns you can do of this Bet Midler take.

But just let the lady tweet. It's, you know, I'm like, I don't have it in me to get mad at Bet Midler's tweets. I saw everyone get mad at her. And I was like, we should point out that this is, this is not the way to counter the, this is a bad suggestion by Bet Midler, but luckily, Bet Midler is not able to make this a law, so it's fine.

Also, and like the people who like sign the law, it's not like they're getting late. Yeah. You know, like, they certainly don't have to worry about it. And, you know, well,

I'm not going to say what I was just going to say. It was salty. But I am going to say, you guys should watch the scenes from a marriage trailer. Yes, we have to talk about scenes from a marriage. Now I'm all upset.

I'm so upset. If you want to watch it and feel upset, watch the trailer for scenes from marriage, two beautiful people doing like a portrayal of, it's like Revolutionary Road, but better than the movie of Revolutionary Road was. Just like a devastating, devastating, realistic portrayal of like a marriage and crisis. It's very upsetting and very, it looks very, very good. What was the one that came out with Adam Driver a couple years ago? Ah, yes. Marriage story. Marriage story.

Yeah, it seems like a much better marriage story. I liked marriage story, but this looks much better. But I think scenes from a marriage, it seems, like it's going to be a lot more grounded. I feel like that story was a very specific, like a marriage story was very specific to a very specific group of people. Yes, about writers and Hollywood. And we are all entertainers as well. So it's like it did hit home in some aspects. But this seems to be just a slice of life of just Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac acting their.

fucking asses off. And if they brought the energy that we saw in that little little video on the red carpet and you know they fucking did. I cannot wait. It starts on September 12th. It's going to be a limited series

and I'm devastated already. I cried through the trailer and then I made Jeff watch it and he's like, I just saw like the result I don't even want to ask Gidea to watch it because Gideh's going to be like,

why do I have to watch this heartbreaking thing? Yeah, I know. You shouldn't watch it with someone you love. Yeah. But then this is a problem. I'm going to watch it alone. Then he's going to come home from work and he'll be like, what do you do when you leave the house?

I'm going to watch it. I'm going to get upset with my husband about what Oscar Isaac did. Yeah, no, I know. It's going to be terrible for my marriage. I already know. I watch Marriage Story alone. And I wanted to, like, marriage story was very good, but it also did drive me crazy because it's just in the genre of movies

that are like about Hollywood actors and writers. And I love those people. but also I'm like, why is this the only story we seem capable of telling? I know why. But like that drove me crazy about marriage story. That's just like, what if we just told the really important story of what it's like to be an actor in a marriage with a kid? Or a writer. I don't even remember.

But like a famous, you know, what if, you know, what if we just told this very specific story and acted like it was universally relatable? And but I had, I watched it alone because I knew my husband wouldn't want to watch it. And now I'm going to watch this alone. and I'm just going to identify with it, even if it doesn't have anything to do with my own marriage, it's going to be rough. MJ, we've got to figure out of time, we should just watch it together over like Zoom or something

because I don't know if I can watch it. Just watch it together and get mad at our purpose. All three of us watch it separately together. I like that because I don't want to watch it with Julie either. I mean, I want to see it also because it's a remake of Igmar Bergman's miniseries. So you know it's going to be all existential and weird and kind of trippy. So I'm very excited for that too

to see how they work that in there. I love Bergman. And especially them trying to get their like the fuel back and their relationship makes me think of when Eddie and I went to go see Blue Valentine together. Oh God. What a disaster that turned out to be.

What a disaster. You guys saw that together? Yeah, I was fresh out of a three-year relationship too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was miserable in my own. So then we watched this and we're all, I'm just like, Uh-huh. Was that when we live together?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to go see Blue Valentine and it was just so depressing. It's still one of my depressing nights that, like, I'll put it on and just be like, I need to feel. I've definitely never watched it again, but I remember every second of it. So good, man. Watching. You know really what it is?

It's watching these, like, platforms for two amazing actors to act their asses off. I love this show. And it just, I love it. Like, it makes me think, it harkens back to my love of watching plays, honestly, because it really is of like, yeah, get into that character meat. Ooh, I want to feel it. And that's why I'm obsessed with the Sopranos. And then every time, after we've done with an episode, we'll talk about, like,

the arc of James Gandalfini's character in it. and like how he's so different from like the first episode and how it just slowly changes over time. And I feel like Edie Falco never got the praise she deserved, even though she definitely did. She won. She's so fucking amazing as Carmela. She's so.

She got like three TV shows afterwards. And I was just saying she went on to have an absolutely incredible career afterwards. So I think she did okay. I love her so much, though. I love her so much. You ever see Sunshine State? Great. Independent film where she plays a Florida lady trying to like survive in Florida, which is,

really? That sounds great. Yeah. Edie Falco holds it down hard forever. I love it. I got to stand next to her at a nightclub one time and I was like, oh, ha, ha, ho. Really? I died.

So it was so happy. Because she was, she's friends with Amy Schumer. And so they all came, they all came down to the comedy cellar one night. And then I was just standing next to her while Amy was on. stage. I'm just like looking at what she's laughs at. I'm like, is she happy? Is she having a good time? Can we get her? I never spoke to her, but I was just like, smiling the whole time,

you know? The soprano's theme song going over and over my head. Man, I'll tell you one thing about sopranos. I always feel whenever her and Tony, like, have sex or anything, I always like can't watch. I got to look away. It's like they're private time. It's like watching my parents

have sex. I really feel that way. I'm just like, and yet though, I talk about this that there are so many times when I'm like, man, James Gannelfini I've never been sexually attracted to, but Tony Soprano every once in a while, it's like, you see that sociopathic, like, charm of him. Of you're like, that's why you're able, you got to where you got to, because you put it on that little impish grin, you're like, ooh, oh, and you're going to call me a C word. I almost said it.

Well, and watching the Many Saints of Newark, like, I am just reminded to such a little little detail, but I'm just reminded how good the accent work is. Yeah. Like, and, and E.D. Falco, I feel like, thinking, and what made me think of it as her being, you know, playing a Florida woman, but like how everyone's accent is just so on point. And sometimes they're like, they're not exactly subtle, but they are like, they're not cartoonish either. They're just so, it's just such a little detail that as soon as I started watching the trailer for the Many Saints of Newark, I was like, oh, yeah, like everyone has the

most awesome, like, Jersey accent that is just so well done and so real, you know. And it's going to be Michael Gandalfini. Yes, the son of James Gandalfini. If you haven't looked at this trailer yet, who's playing James Gandalfini as a younger person. And I can't even imagine that. He's like, he sat and watched all the sopranos. He worked on the dialect work. You worked with acting coaches. Like, go for this young man. And how difficult that must be. Like, even if you don't give a shit about the Sopranos, like, just watch the trailer and think of, like, he's got to step into his adored father's shoes. Not only is his adored father's shoes, but his adored father's character shoes.

That's so many layers. It's very moving to watch the trailer for that reason, too, because it's just, you think, like, what would it be like for this kid to just have to watch hours and hours and hours. studying his late father so closely and like set like the most one of the most famous acting performances of all time and you know it's just so moving and so loaded to think of him taking this on and it's like you know and and to think that it that for he said it felt like this like opportunity to connect with his father but also that he like mostly just like wanted to do respect by the story you know to do right by the story It's just like it's so, I mean, there's not, I don't think I can think of a single role, you know, in modern culture that is like as revered as Tony Soprano, you know?

Yeah, I don't know if this has ever happened before either. I mean, it seems like it should have at some point, but no one has ever played their like father before, have they? Or like their mother or like, I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen it. And it's very impressive. I'm trying to think of like, I just, I've managed it. I just felt like I could see the physical roll of like flogelelze in my mind just like

of like celebrity parents and children where I'm like in my brain I'm like has Liza Minnelli ever played Judy Garland before like I'm trying to think of like that must have happened at some point Right, right? There's like family acting together but never taking on the same role I don't think

Yeah and I think especially with like James Gandalfini's death being so tragic and so early. You know, I feel like it's not only just, I think there's, maybe there's been like movies where it's like flashbacks or cutaways or whatever where you might like utilize a family. But like to have to have it be an actor playing their father's character, but also that it's not just their father's character, but it's that their father is so tragically like not here, you know, at such a young age is such, like so much a part of the weight of watching it, you know.

And he found him. he's the one who found him. So that's also insane. Yeah, it's all just... I'm just so... I'm sad of all of it. I mean, it does always make me think of the last meal James Gandalfini ate. Oh, my God.

I think that it is, although very, very devastating in many ways, it is one of my favorite stories of looking into what Gandalfini ate in Rome of his last meal when he died. I think he died at the table. If I, oh, maybe that, maybe I'm pretty sure. It was in his, it was in his hotel room.

Oh, okay. So it's like, but he had eaten like two servings of fried prawns, a bunch of foie gras, and I'll never forget because he sat down and he ordered a pinocalada with two additional shots of rum on the side and then drank it all really fast and then immediately down two beers in sitting down at the table.

I was like, damn. That's how you start the meal. Woo! I would have just love to have one meal. Can I get a pinnacolada with shrimp inside of it, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it when it's fishy.

I want to make it more prawny, Kathy. But I kind of want to make my signature drink a pinoclotta with two additional shots of rum on the side. I think that's really awesome. Gotta have a floater. Got to have a floater. Oh, my God. Florida floaters, baby. I can't remember, honestly, the last time I took a shot of rum.

Am I, is this something that I'm missing? Do I need to get into rum in my 30s? Eddie, didn't you get into rum? I got into rum. I only drink whiskey and rum. I like a good dark rum. I recently did shots of rum and it was surprisingly delicious. But you can't get shitty rum.

You have to spend the money. That's the thing with rum. If you get Captain Morgan, you're just going to, you're just going to puke all night. But if you spend, if you spend like 40 bucks on a bottle, you'll get some nice rum. All right. I'll get some nice rum. You've convinced me. Papa's Pilar, the Ernest Hemingway rum from Key West.

I love it. Oh, all right, Papa's Pilar. We'll get us some Papa's Pilar. We'll have a dark and stormy, right? That's rough. I don't even know anything about, I don't know anything about mixed drinks anymore, but there's a lot I do know about ice cream. I'm sorry, smize cream.

And if you don't talk about the smize cream, I think I'll throw up everywhere. I'm sure that I brought this up before, that Tyra Banks, Yes, the craziest bitch to still be on our television screen has creating, is launching a new ice cream line called Smize Cream, which I think is very interesting as someone that if you have not listened to me, read all of Model Land over on the Patreon. I highly recommend that you check it out. It's absolutely bad shit than you don't have to buy the book.

I do not recommend you reading it on your own. I'd rather read the Bible. Yay, I did it. But I did it. I did it all by myself. That should be your next audio book club, Jackie, the Bible. The Bible. That's a great idea.

Let's see. It's like, you know what? Never read it. It's time to jump in between me. I would love to hear your commentary on the Bible. I would be, I think I'd get canceled pretty fast. You would turn it so horny. It's already quite horny.

So it would be, but you would, your commentary. Is it horny? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jesus married a prostitute. Do they get it? Is it like? slash fiction. They're always

laying with each other and killing killing people who lay in with their own. It's like, complete confession, I know nothing about the Bible. Oh my God, pick it up. All right. Okay. It's very popular. Let's slap it on. Why start reading Nine Perfect Strangers

when you can read the Bible instead? I like the Bible, but the sequel isn't as fun. You know, it kind of jumps the shark. Oh, the Bible two little bitches on the boat. Yeah, when Jesus walks on water, he literally jumps the shark. Is revelations considered the sequel to the Bible? Yes, yeah, yeah. The New Testament and the Old Testament is how I refer to.

The Old Testament, that's the Jewish one. And then the sequel, the Christians just lose us all. I should start calling the Christian Bible the Bible too. I really like that. That'll go over well. Yeah, especially, yeah, no, I mean, we're in the middle of Russia genre right now right? Yeah. Yeah, we're happy to talk about.

Chinatara. Yes, yes. To you and yours. I had some fun, the Model Land jokes. Do they ride the Tilt of Her? Yeah. Model Land. The emotional roller coaster.

It's an emotional roller coaster. It certainly is, especially now that Tyra Banks is trying to get people to eat smize cream when she is openly fatphobic. And I don't, it's like, why would the fuck would I ever buy your ice cream, you crazy woman? Yeah, it's a way.

weird choice, especially right, because I'm afraid there's going to be all sorts of, like, terrible things in it to make it, like, low calorie. And I just don't need somebody else to make ice cream. Also, the flavor that Lionel Richie and her are making, I'm sorry, it sounds exactly like a Maricone dream. This is the thing. So these $13.30 pints, by the way, $13. $13 for a pint. For a pint. Of Tyra Bates and Ice Cream. Yeah. Yes. And even that, sometimes I'm like, ooh, we're getting the nice. ice cream today. I'm a trash person.

I'm aware of them. Fully aware of that. But, so she's teaming up with Lionel Richie to create a smy's cream called All Night Love, number one, not the name of the song. I do wonder if she, no.

Because all night long, yeah, I guess that that's a weird name to call ice cream, but isn't all night love and equally? Yeah. Yeah, and it's not an ice cream pun. Like, it should be like, all night, I don't know, cone, yeah.

I was like, yeah, something. All cone long, all night lump. Lumpets of chocolate? You eat it all night long, you take a scoop. I mean, only thing is she hates fat people, a good way to keep them skinny is charged $13 for a fucking bite. That'll suddenly make me eat less. And what I don't understand, so this is like,

they're like, oh my God, so that we can interact with fans on the Lionel Richie Smize cream, There is a QR code that links to videos featuring, I don't, like, this is like, this is, I feel like this is code in my brain. So there's a QR code that links to videos featuring Lionel Richie and Tyra Banks as well as an illustrated version of the Hello crooner that comes alive via augmented reality. What does that mean? I don't get this because augmented reality, like how, where is he coming into my augmented reality? Like, nobody ice cream, like, like, like, Nopi, Obi-Wan, Canobi, you're my only home.

Like, because augmented, like, okay, I understand that, like, Pokemon Go was augmented reality because I'm, like, looking at this screen and I see, like, my Pokemon's in my house. But, like, I just don't understand how I'm supposed to sit with this $13 pint of ice cream that is, again, I think, modeled exactly after a Maricone Dream, which is the best ice cream flavor,

so hard to beat. And you're going to sit there, you're going to take out your phone, you're going to do the QR, and then on your phone, an image of Lionel Richie and Tara Banks is going to, like, augment the pint container? Like, where is, where, how is that augmented reality and not just a video? I just don't understand what are they augmenting and how. Yeah, who is this for? We don't need this.

That's a, you know, doing QR codes, that's a young man's game. This is, this is a, an ice cream made for widows. You know, like. It is. So then they'd be like, Lionel Richie's going to be in my house. Yes, I'm in my house. But also just imagine like a version of Lion Richie where it's just like, get out of here. It makes me think of like when Henry kept doing the Instagram stories of like the dancing hot dog with the headphones on that you could augment a reality with the filter put him in your house.

And Henry would just be like, get out of here. Leave me alone. Which is what I feel like I'm going to have to do to Lionel Richie when he comes bursting out of my ice cream. I can't wait till they do scenes from marriage. Yes. If it was augmented reality of Lionel Richie and Tyra Banks doing scenes for a marriage on the pint of ice cream, that would be worth $13. That I would do. That or if he was like sculpting Tyra's face when he's like in the hello music video.

Remember when he's blind but he's making, no, she's blind and she's making the weird. clave face of Lionel Richie or is I the only one that watched the hello music No, no, no, no, that's very poppy, yeah. But yeah, that would be great to making the clay But it's ice cream. Yeah, it's like, it's dripping. And you're like, can I pay $13?

Wait, no, don't put your hands on my ice cream. Oh my God. Two pints is a quart, so a court is $26 before tax. Also, are they selling this at the bodega or am I ordering it? Is it chipping and drips? Dry ice?

How do I get it? Christides, probably. I imagine anywhere like high-end grocery stores, probably, I imagine. Really? I got to, I mean, I don't live near any high-end grocery stores. They're sending them limit two per box. You can only buy two of the all-night loves. Thank you very much.

Too much demand. It's just the names of these are, I feel like the names of these ice creams, it's just Tyrant Banks like, don't defy me. because Eddie, I don't know if you know this, but she claims to have written all of Modelands completely on her own. I believe it. I thought that that was bullshit until I read it.

And I read how many mistakes there were. I was like, no one even like, I don't even think anybody proof read this. I think that they just put it out. But it's just like, I just, purple cookie monster and me. She's a crazy person. I'm terrified of the Tyra Banks.

I shouldn't even say this. Was it six gags over Tragic Mountain? What was that? Six Cags over Tragic Mountain. I'm just trying to find a puns for Model Land. Oh, Model Land. My braid, I'm like, I don't even know. The Matt of Horny Bob's foot.

She is. The problem is that nobody remembers Model Land, even though Modelland is the craziest thing to have. She thought it was going to be the next Harry Potter. And Eddie, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but she created a Model Land, the place inside of an abandoned mall, I believe in Santa Monica. and it was supposed to open three weeks after the pandemic started. And I was in my, but the tickets were so expensive. And I was like, can I justify? 13 dollars a pint for ice cream.

Yeah, but it's like, and I'm saying like $400. Damn. And I was like, can I write it off? I talked to my accountant. I was like, can I write it off if I go? And so that I could go to Model Land because like I don't have the money, but maybe if I could write it off. But he said I could.

Of course you can write it off. Yeah, that's research. You're doing material on it. What kind of accountant do you have? I gotta do my work. This is crazy. I always write off Disneyland, by the way. Every time I go.

I mean, you got to get your work done. Yeah. You are. Well, we know Model Land would have been a huge success if it weren't for the pandemic. So it's really a shame for Tyra. It would have been busting down the doors. Such a big problem for her.

And I do feel really bad for her about it. Don't worry. She's getting that dancers with the staws. The Dances with the Staws money. She's still hosting over there. I don't know why. But before we get into anything further, I've got a celebrity, well,

movie conspiracy for you guys. Okay. Let's see what happens. Do you believe in? The fact that Forrest Gump died at the beginning of the movie. Oh, I love shit like this. This is, it is a fun one. I just want to say thank you so much Ainsley

for sending this. and I was like, this is something that I feel like we've all seen 100 million times. I think anyone our age has seen Forrest Gump a hundred thousand times because it always played on USA. He was always playing on AMC. Like I feel like on the weekend, I watch Forrest Gump at least once. No, always. I've played, I just watch it. I had the VHS, the DVD, the Blu-ray, the soundtrack.

I love that movie. It was great. What, so they think he died on the bench? Okay, no. They think. So it's like it's all like goes in your, you know the feather in the beginning, right? And that when he was running, when he had his magic shoes, and he was running away from the bullies in the car. And it is a fan theory that there's no way he could have outrun that car and that the bullies caught up with him, beat him to death.

And then the rest of the movie is what happened because there's no way that none of this would happen. Do you want to hear some of what they think and why it is? Yes, I need more. Okay. All right. But that's not the beginning, beginning of the movie. That's right when the first time. But that's when he dies, quote, unquote, all right?

Okay. Not in Vietnam. And it's like for one major example that they believe that he's become a guardian angel, all right? One major example is when he joins the war. Forrest being an only child and having a low IQ would not have made him eligible or suitable for the army even though there was a draft. He imagined self being a great war hero had he grown up with the use of his legs. And you think about that, which weirdly enough kind of does make sense with everything with Bubba, and that if he was actually a guardian angel that was there to help people and have people see the light,

that in war that he was around and doing that. He wouldn't have been eligible to play football in college because his IQ would have prevented him from getting into school in the first place, let alone having the grades to be able to play. I need you guys to know I have not, in fact, checked any of them. I am just reading it off of the Reddit thread. Okay. He becomes an Olympic level ping pong player after ever having trained a day in his life beforehand. Again, not possible.

He trains. He did, I mean, he did train, but you know what? He trained all the autothernami train. Maybe he wouldn't have done it. Maybe he couldn't have done it, Eddie. He becomes a shrimp boat captain. It was the only boat to not get destroyed in the hurricane. He was actually the protector for it and Lieutenant Dan.

and since Lieutenant Dan became a shrimp boat captain and made his peace with God, which is why he could talk to Forrest after the hurricane. Even Forrest mentions that he must have made his peace. Lieutenant Dan was able to talk to Forrest in the hospital as well because he was most certainly near death after losing two limbs and probably a lot of blood. Forrest saves his life and allows him to live the rest of his life.

He decides to run for three and a half years around the U.S., which is impossible as well. He runs around the world trying to find Jenny to save her but can't find her. She calls, aka praise to him, after reading about him in the paper, and he finally finds her. And then he marries Jenny.

And allegedly, spoiler alert, and allegedly fathers a child with her. Forrest always seems to be there when Jenny needs him. I believe he is her guardian angel and watches over her until she dies. That is when they get married. She's reached heaven. She's finally, quote, come home to be with him

after all those years. That is also when we see Lieutenant Dan again. He's died as well with his new wife after being murdered by someone in the VA that didn't agree with him being married to a Vietnamese woman. That is a bit of a stretch. Because they all marry Vietnamese women.

This is, I mean, this is a thing. I mean, I have a lot of uncles that did. I understand. I love that this theory is based on people being like, Forrest Gump, not a very realistic movie. I laughed at it. And the entire movie, Jenny was inebriated in some form.

She was hallucinating in conversations with Forrest, seeing what he could have become and wishing that he was still alive. Unseen. Is it real? So everyone in the movie who talks to him and stuff, they're all fantasizing about, like he's not a ghost. Is it like a sixth sense situation where he's dead and Jenny and Dan

can see him or is, oh, yeah. Uh-huh. All right. Yeah. Yeah. That they can see him because that's the whole thing. She's inebriated so she can see him through the use of free bird as well as drugs. And then I guess with Lieutenant Dan, maybe it's just the booze.

You know, sometimes you see things when you're all boozed up and losing a lot of blood, I would imagine. But he wasn't there when she was standing on the balcony. He's not in that scene. He couldn't find her, Ed. You need her to pray. If this theory is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she knew he was out there. She knew he was out there and she was waiting for him to save her.

And he didn't, which is why she maybe stopped believing until she started praying again. Maybe she died right there then. Maybe she died there. The whole movie doesn't make any... The whole movie is just them in purgatory. They're all dead. They're all dead. They finally made her a bird.

She can fly far, far away. I believe it. Forrest Gump, a movie about entirely dead people. Everyone's dead. Do you know why his last name's Gump? Because it's... Eddie? Not realistic.

What's that? Why is his last name's Gump? Because his greatest talent is his common sense. Gumpshin. I always loved that. I always loved it. Oh, I thought it was going to be a joke. I thought you were doing a joke.

Yeah, because he's got bumps up in his gunch. And he's got gump. No, I would never insult Forrest Gump. Well, it's a good thing because you're going to have some chances to insult people on the list. Yeah. Who's on the list? MJ! Gotta have that list!

14 pairs of actors who hated working together so much they won't share the screen again. Oh, I love it. After, this one is so not that exciting, but after they worked. BuzzFeed is such, I like BuzzFeed's list sometimes because it's just so like, they're catty where you're like, did you guys make that up? I think you guys made that up. I didn't even remember this about this show. After they worked together on 24, Freddie Prins Jr. Took a huge step back from acting because Kiefer Sutherland was the most unprofessional dude in the world.

Oh my God. I once saw him scream at somebody outside the Roosevelt, so, you know, who knows? Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah. I mean, I've heard he's not. I've heard that he's bad, that he's not a nice guy. I do just love this quote underneath it, that's not me talking trash. I'd say it to his face.

I'd think everyone that's... worked with him, has said that. Freddie Prince, Jr. Freddie Brins, Jr. I'm going to pack up my shit. And you won't even notice that I don't act for the next 20 years.

Nobody knows. Everyone always needs an excuse once they've stopped doing whatever they do. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my career, it stopped when I did 24 for reasons of my own choosing. So you chose to not make millions of dollars anymore because Kiefer Sutherland was kind of an asshole.

Because I don't know if that's true. His first name's Kiefer. Do we expect him to be nice? And he's from like, he's from Hollywood royalty. Of course he's going to be an asshole. I mean, I wish that they wouldn't be, but we all know usually they are. Yeah, how could he not be? But Sylvester Stallone said that Richard Geer was fired from the Lords of Flatbush

because they got into a physical fight after Gear got mustard on Stallone's pants while they were eating lunch together in the back of a Toyota. I will say that this is 100% true. The Lords of Flatbush, Sylvester Stallone and Richard Gear are known. They fucking hate each other. And it's because of this. And it was down to like, because they were so pissed off at each other that when he got mustard on his pants, he thought he did it on purpose. And I remember what, like, reading through, like, a line by line of, like, Sylvester Stallone talking about what happened. And now he's like, yeah, it seems like I was being out of control.

But you don't even understand which he had been doing the entire time. Also, Richard Gear is not, you know, I'm not buying him as a local thug. Yeah, he shouldn't have been in Lords of Flatbush. Yeah. He's too pretty. They had to keep Stallone. So, you know, what are you going to do? He's the officer and the gentleman.

What are you talking about? He shouldn't be in Lords of Flatbush? Yeah, no, no. But this one is really spicy. Juliet Roberts called her I Love Trouble co-star, Nick Nolte, completely disgusting. Yeah. And they had so much trouble getting along on set that they filmed most of their scenes together with stand-in. my hot dogs.

This is the mustard story. It makes me sad though because although I will say the perk up I get every time I see the Prince of Tides mentioned in the Sopranos, yes. I said the Sopranos one more time. But Nick Nalti makes me hurt so bad because they love Babs so much.

And I don't know if you have, have you guys seen the Prince of Tides? Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid. I really been wanting to watch it. again, it's Nick Nalty and Barbara Streisand. And like they have a tumultuous relationship, essentially. And I hope that he wasn't an asshole to Barbara Streisand. I mean, he's on and off.

It depends if he's on the booze or not, from what I hear. Yeah. With Nulte. You know, but he's just worn down to the bone at this point. Yeah. I can't believe he's still around. My, here's a fun little story for you. Growing up in South Florida, there was a police officer who used to hang out with us.

that lived down the street. It was a motorcycle cop. We called him Corrupt Carl. And he stole Nick Nolte's wife when I was kids. We couldn't believe it. Like right around the time of I Love Trouble, to be honest with you. And he like pulled over Nick Nulte's wife, like found her to be a trap. And then like started like dating her on the sly.

And then they ended up getting divorced. Wow. Corrupt Carl. This all could be corrupt Carl's fault. Maybe he was just in a bad mood. He is a corrupt cop to his... My goddamn wife stole my motorcycle cop. You do a good Nick Nolty. Yeah, it was a good Nick Nolte.

But how about this one? While they were filming Batman Forever, Tommy Lee Jones told Jim Carrey that he hates him because he, quote, cannot sanction his buffoonery. Yeah, Tommy Lee, I've heard this one before. Tommy Lee Jones is a notorious humbug. you know he never never has a good time on set if anyone jokes around he's such a schmuck about it you know who his college roommate was who uh w uh yeah george w bush he will like he's rolled with a bunch of like the old school people as well and i know that he's notoriously um an asshole especially on set but i will say it does seem like jim gary was also enticing a bit of the assholness as well of what i've read into of like he's

He's like, oh, oh, you don't want me to be silly? Okay. And then just upped it even more. So the war between them was definitely hot on set. Yeah. Also, Tom Lee Jones is like half his face was painted purple. Like, what are we doing here? Yeah, you're a buffoon, sir.

All right. I think this is going to be our last one on the list. After they worked together on cop-out, Kevin Smith called Bruce Willis, quote, the unhappiest, most bitter, and meanest emo bitch I've ever met any job I've held down. I just like, I want to see what happened. Yeah, I like it.

I like it. I think it's fun. They were filming that out in Ridgewood. We walked by it at that diner by the train. Really? Yeah, they filmed some of the scenes of cop out there. I remember walking past it one day. And this picture that's on the list is actually from that

triangle right off the Myrtle Wyckoff stop. That's exactly where they are in this picture of the two of them together. And you know it's old because Kevin Smith still got all the weight on. And I love that he said that Willis fostered an unpleasant and unproductive work environment. And the shoot was fun and fruitful when he wasn't there. As someone who has worked with Bruce Willis, I will say that he is, he will not prepare at all. He refuses to prepare. He wings most things.

But he's also, he was also a lot of fun in the writer's room, I will say. He just showed up and started playing the harmonica. They told a couple jokes and left. I was like, all right, we'll get this written. Great to have some input. Okay, no, you're going to.

All right. Well, there he goes. He's into the harmonica with him. Because that's really what you need in a writer's room. You know, more harmonica. I think that it's a great, way to get the feelings flowing. Really get those juices out there on the page.

I don't think it's actually true. And before I get into the blind items, I did want to say, Eddie, thank you so much for being here. But part of the reason why you came on here was for us to talk about the roast this coming Sunday. And I'd like to talk about a book shot roast. Last podcast network presents the great mugshot roast. That's going to be on Twitch on the LPN Twitch.

channel this Sunday coming up right now, 912, 2 p.m. Pacific, 5 p.m. Eastern. Check it out. It's basically, we're going to have all the roundtable people on, you know, Jackie, Ben, Marcus, Henry, Holden, if he can make it. He's got a baby. He gave him an house. And Amber, and we're going to be roasting some mugshots, volunteers only, by the way, with these mugshots. That's great policy. Yes, because, you know, at first I wanted to do this. It was presented because on Roundtable, we always kind of make fun of the mugshots, you know, of all the weird news stories we did. But I figure when we did this, also this is all in support for the last prisoner project who get people out of jail who are in there on marijuana charges and help them assimilate back in the society. It's a great organization.

As someone who went to jail for marijuana, this is very near and dear to my heart. It's ridiculous that people are in for the one drug that makes you peaceful. But I wanted to make sure that, like, at first I was like, oh, we'll just roast mug shots. And then I thought about it. And it's punching down, you know. And so it's volunteer only. We put it up on the Facebook group. We got a huge response.

I love that. Like 70 people sent us their mugshots. They're all signing releases. So anything you see, they are volunteers. And so we're only going to make fun of the people who donate. And we're going to have Jeff Ross on. And I got a lot of special appearances by Jermaine Fowler, Alana Glazer, and Nemesh Patel. And I have a whole bunch.

And I have a whole segment of. Roast writer's just annihilating my mugshot. That's going to be the main thing. I'm just, I'm putting myself on the chopping block, and we're going to raise some money to get some stoners out of jail. Because that's what's most important. No one deserves to be in jail for drugs, much less marijuana. And so it is very important cause to my heart.

And I hope, I hope you guys tune in. And if you don't tune in, if you're busy, you know, for some reason, it's going to be available. We're going to post it up on the Twitch page so you can keep watching. you can keep donating as time goes on. The goal is five grand, but who knows what we'll make. And I just, you know, it's one of those things where I sat around. I'm like, I got to start putting my, you know, my money where my mouth is.

Hell yeah. You know, but I'm always going to talk about this stuff about, you know, how horrible, like, jail is and people go into jail. I have friends that went to jail for marijuana for six months, like close friends. It's messed up. It's unfair. and it just shouldn't exist. So we're going to try and get some people out. And this is, so come, check it out.

It shows free. If you don't have money, you can still watch the show. And we're going to have a good time. Jackie's going to be there. I'll be there. I'll make fun of my mom's show. Yeah. And we'll have a good time.

I'm very excited for this. It's a lot of work. It's a great idea for a show. I've never worked so hard for free in my whole life. But, uh, What are you talking about? You had to read through all the articles I've fucking sent you for this week. I appreciate it.

Oh, man, know what I love about all these showbiz articles? They're like eight paragraphs long, tops. I'm used to reading shit about fucking Afghanistan. And I was like, oh, this is a breeze. I don't have to learn any foreign policy or like. Lots of pictures. I mean, that's why when I say I look at this stuff every day I do. And it's because, I mean, it's pretty easy.

Yeah. I like reading through it. And I get lost. in it though, that's the problem. But again, so all of the proceeds are going to the Last Prisoner Project. That's the Last Prisoner Project.org. If you want to check it out before Sunday. And again, Sunday, 2 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on the last

podcast network, Twitch. I'm really excited. And I'm excited to be a part of it. Hell yeah. Also, if you want to send your mugshot in, last minute, you can mugshot roast at Gmail.com. Go ahead and email us your mugshot at Mugshot Roast at Gmail. And Eddie, you think you guys are going to do this again or are you going to see how it goes?

I mean, it's a lot of work. Yay. So we'll see. Maybe we'll make it annual. I purposely didn't say first annual because I don't know how much this is going to take out of me. I just know I want to do it. And I'm sure there's plenty of other organizations we can do shows for in the future as well. You know, like, oh yeah, for sure.

I almost feel bad raising money for this when Texas is. shambles, but what do you got to do? You know, we got to do what we can in any way that we can and also look up the Lilith Fund if you are able to. I don't know. And I did as well. And if there are, and keep your eye on it, let's stay vigilant. We have to stay aware. And

that is all I'm going to say about that before I get into what happened, Jackie? What's going on, Jackie? Jackie. Jackie, what happened? Blind. items. Oh, we can't see them. What happened when it go? I can't see nothing. What happened? I can't

reach them. I was like, open them now, I see. That is. This is, you're going to, I think you're going to get this one pretty fast because it's something we were recently discussing. This aid list host slash producer slash model crashed and burned in her last business endeavor, took millions of investor dollars with her. But sure, everyone should jump on her latest business. Tira, Tira, Tira. If it wasn't for the pandemic, I'm telling you, Mottaland would just be the most bustling. It would have replaced Disneyland by now. It's interesting, though, because, of course, none of the investors got any of their money back.

But what I didn't realize is that she's opening a smize cream shop in the same abandoned mall in San Monica where Mottaland was supposed to be. It's always good to open a store. in an abandoned mall. Yeah. I mean, it keeps it fun. Yeah. It got to do something with an abandoned mall.

And this one, I think, is more for an MJ. And it does break my heart a little bit, but it does make a lot of sense. There are a lot of fake cooking shows out there. But this one involving a very popular star who has never done the food thing before might top them all. There's someone off camera coaching the A-list home improvement celebrity. Wait, a new somebody who hasn't done cooking before, but who has a new show? Yeah, it's on Discovery Plus. Is it Joanna Gaines?

It is Jojo. Yeah. Any, do you ever watch any of Jojo and Chips, home improvement shows? No, no, no. No. They're possibly really evil, but we don't know quite. how evil they could be. Yeah, they're like a charming slash probably very homophobic family that we spend a lot of time being like,

oh, we love them. And then we've gradually had to distance ourselves from them because we think that they might be very bad. And then sometimes they're like, no, no, no, we're not bad. No, you're just against the church that we support. Yes, but we're not bad. We individually support target for hiring trans people, even though our church doesn't think they're people. It's like bad. It seems bad. We used to talk about Chip and Jojo a lot. A lot. We both kind of watched them talk about falling from grace. They've fallen from grace. But honestly, you know, politics aside, she is biting off more than she can chew. I want you to watch you design a living room. I don't want to watch you bake cupcakes. I've got other people I watch for that. I don't want to watch you cook. That's not what I'm here for, Joanna Gaines. I'm sorry. I'm here to watch you. Roll your eyes at your husband and, you know,

put some ship lap on it and call it a day. Yeah. It's also, you know, it's Hollywood. You know, they're going to, every reality show is scripted. You know, it's fine. Not Pioneer Woman. She has, ever since the pandemic has filmed her show with her children as her crew in her home. In her home.

I love Pioneer Woman. I mean, it's her home. It's like her sprawling estate. Ranch, yes, that her sexy husband were. during the day. But the kids are there. They're cooking together. They're eating together.

They've made a whole show about the wedding. So some people really do it for real, Eddie. Just not Joanna Gaines. Oh, right. No. Not Joanna Gaines. And this show, I'm going to say it, it's boring. It's called Magnolia Table with Joanna Gaines.

And I watched an episode of it on Discovery Plus. And I was like, okay. Well, now I'm just, yeah. Is Chip there? Is it just her? No, it's her. It's her show. You know, I love it.

Of Joanna Gaines, I think she's, I mean, again, politics aside, I think she's a very hot, pretty charismatic person on Fixer Upper. I have zero interest in watching her host to show herself. She's just, it's just not, that's just not, again, not what we're here for. We're here for you and your marriage where you seem like you both love each other. That's really the most, the best thing you can say about this couple idea is that they are a married couple who seem to really enjoy each other. That have had the reason to watch the show. And still, like, lust for each other. Like, go for you.

It is the single reason that people watch the show is because they are a married couple who really actively loves each other. Yes. And I don't want to watch her cook. But would you watch this reboot? Two of the stars of a spin-off from a long, long-long-running network show would probably agree to do another spin-off. They just absolutely refuse to star in it together. Now, this is a reboot that I know that we've discussed it on here a couple of times. I'm excited about the reboot because I want to watch it.

So old school, great, amazing sitcom. The original is a spin-off from the big sitcom that became another big sitcom. Frazier. Is it? Yeah. It is Frazier. They won't work together? Him and Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce refused to work together.

Really? I immediately take David Hyde Pierce's side, even though I don't know anything about him, but we do know a lot more about Kelsey Grammer, and I don't like Kelsey Grammer. He had a rough life. He had a rough life. Led to drink it. I know. I know.

And it's rough. And I think that, like, I hope he's gotten better. And maybe he will now that he's going to be making this reboot money. But David Hyde Pierce isn't going to be in it. Yeah. You know, what's he done recently? What's it? Where's he been?

I mean, I know he's a big Broadway guy. And I know that he was recently in some movie that I saw on the cover and he looked very scary. The perfect toast. No, that was, oh my God, that was 11 years ago. Yeah, he was a killer. Where am I? How old am I? He just did that movie.

I've definitely referred to 15-year-old movies. He says, yeah, that new movie will. It's very sad. I guess I maybe just, I think it's because we just watch Vampires Kiss. There's a lot. He wasn't a lot for a long time, but I know that he became more of a Broadway person for a long time.

And now refusing to do it. But I guess that I guess we're not, are you guys not on David Hyde Pierce's side? I mean, just suck it up. Who cares? We all want to see it. You know, they can figure it out. I hope that.

Who knows? Go to an intervention together. Let's see what happens. The police did. it. I can't imagine Kelsey Grammer would do it though.

Weren't they going to do it? I thought this was already happening. Oh, they're doing it. They're doing it with Kelsey Gramer, not David Hypeers. Yeah. And the dad's dead. And the dog's dead.

Oh, John Mahal. Who gives a shit? Who wants to watch this? I'd rather watch Cheers. Have them go back to cheers. To reboot cheers. Please give me more cheers. Please give me more cheers.

Now, I would watch that reboot. In a fucking heartbeat, I'd watch that fucking reboot. Yeah, that makes a more. sense. You're right. Because if you're losing David Hyde Pierce and the dog and the dad, it's like, it's going to be sad. It's going to be like one of those sad reunions where

everyone's just reminded of how much time has passed. Yeah. No, it's just going to be him by himself. I want to see cheers. I would see. Honestly, that's like the first thing Woody Harrelson ever did. I can't believe that like that was so long for him. The only thing is it's going to be hard to bring back Christy out. Yeah.

I think that they could leave her probably by the wayside. And in fact, I just saw, I guess a meme that has been going around for a long time because, you know, of course, I've been watching the Golden Girls really kind of for the first time. So I've been really getting into it. And it makes me think of when they do the Calvin and Hobbs, like, in the future of like when Calvin's on his deathbed.

I'm not going to start talking about because you know I cry every time. And he like gives Hobbs to his son. And it's just like a whole, I can't think about it. And then I read this meme where in the Golden Girls of like imagining like a 15 minute sequel where Betty White is shown and she's in front of the graves of the three co-stars and like because apparently in season

four episode 22 when the women were talking about getting older when Betty White says what happens when there's only one of us left and then it cuts to her in front of the gravestones and she stands up and smiles down at the tombstones before she turns away to leave she whispers thank you for being a friend

and even just I'm back to fucking first. Oh my God. That'd be a great viral video and that She eats Snickers and turns into like a younger person. That's all I need it. But that's not what we're talking about here. I can see again through the tears. I can see it.

Congratulations. I can see it through the tears. Do you guys want to sing the shout-out song with me? Yeah. Shout. Shout. Shout. Shout.

These are the emails that you wrote in about. We're gonna read them to you. Come on. I feel like it gets slower every week. Yeah, I like a dirge-like. I think it really brings a good element into it. Caroline, all the guys would say that she's modified. It's Caroline's birthday.

And her husband, Alex, has an adorable and beautiful B-Day message for her. My hot as fuck wife just turned 31 and she spent the last decade fighting debilitating mental health issues and overall mean ass treatment of ambitious young

women and now achieved her dream of becoming a registered dietitian at a major hospital. Congrats! She spent the last year giving every ounce of her humongous heart and tireless work ethic to keep COVID patients alive and trying to stay positive while

watching so many of her patients die. All the while, she started her own organization to provide dietetic supports to adults with severe disabilities who can't feed themselves. She cares so much that to her, battling a global pandemic wasn't doing enough. I tell her every day that she is the strongest, coolest, hottest, badass, baddie ever,

but it would mean the world to hear it from you too. Her only flaw is her huge crush on Holden. EO! Caroline, I love you so much. I need cardiac diet tips so my heart doesn't explode. And now I'm in love with you, too, Caroline. Hell yeah, you are the hottest bad as baddie ever. And I love it. Happy birthday! And to beautiful Rachel! It was your birthday on September 5th, and Mitch did get it in before your birthday, I need you to know that. But we didn't record until after it, but Mitch says, I'd like to give a shout out to my amazing girlfriend, Rachel! She's a huge fan of the podcast. and it would be amazing if you could give her a shout out for her birthday on September 5th. She's a wonderful and beautiful person and the most amazing teacher to her students.

Happy birthday, Rachel, Mitch loves you! And oh my God, what? Double Virgos! And here, I thought a Taurus and a Leo together were head-to-head. I got a birthday shout-out to a couple of love Bird Burgos. Katie's birthday's on September 15th and BJ's is on September 12th, and I want to say thank you so much for the love. I hope y'all have the best 22nd and 23rd birthdays,

and I hope you're in a city where you can, obviously, safely, enjoy it. Get out there and party y'all's asses off, you adorable dub Virgoes, but also be safe, but also have fun. Ugh, even more adorable alerts coming in out. Katie has written in a shout-out for her girlfriend, Brooke, and is also making a video of shout-outs for her for her Big 3-0, and I love this.

All right, here it is for the video. Brooke is the most wonderful person I know. She has this ability to bring anyone out of the darkness. She can change the mood in a room just by saying hi. Her lighthearted personality and impeccable humor can even make even the grumpiest person crack a smile. She just has that way about her. If she can take a pessimist like me to make me see more silver linings, well, she can do anything.

I'm her biggest fan, and I couldn't be more proud of her. Thank you for the hours of entertainment, education, and Muppet Love. I love you, Katie, and I love you, Brooke, and I hope you have a wonderful 30th birthday. And we have a hybrid birth anniversary shout out. Seth wrote in a beautiful message to his wife, Megan. He says, we've been together for 15 years this September 12th, mazzle, muzzle, and her birthday is the 21st, and I do love it. Do you remember the 20th? How many times did you guys play that at your...

Oh, no, it was birthday, right? How many times did you play it on your birthday, so can't imagine? Happy anniversary and happy birthday to the most beautiful, hilarious, and caring woman I've ever known. All this time with you has been nothing but smiles and happiness, and I want to keep doing it forever.

You are truly the fucking best. And also, Megan, you and I share an eternal flame for David Crumholz to the point where we have a drinking game we play every year when we watch the Santa Claus, so if you could please throw out a Bernard, Bernard, he makes us hard.

And now I need to thank you guys both for a belated birthday gift to old Jackers because I'm going to do the same thing that I will drink while watching the Santa Claus. You ready, Linda? We're drinking through the claws this year. Thank you so much, Seth, for writing in about your beautiful wife, Megan.

We have another shout-out from Rosa. She's written in a shoutout and has been listening to the show for six years. Thank you so much. Yes, we all had to grow up sometime, but I'm glad that we were doing it together. And you sent in a message for your cousin, Arelli. Also, sidebar to you. I don't know if it's Aureli or Aureli because I knew someone named Aureli, so I'm not sure how she says it. But both.

I'm concluding both of them. And I won't cut this part out. Because false never make you a bad person. I would love it if you could shout out to my cousin Arelli on her big 30th birthday. You are one of the sweetest, most kind and compassionate people I know. You're always there to help those in need and giving people a shoulder to lean on. The past year has been a roller coaster, and I know there were tough times, but you came out of it stronger than ever. And I never doubted you would.

I'm so glad you were finally joining me in the 30s club so I can stop feeling like a senior citizen when we go out. Here's to many more years of love, support, and debauchery. Hell yeah, y'all have the best fucking time. And oh my God, I love. It's a brother-to-sister shout-out. You know I love this. You've melted my heart. Estes wants to send a shout-out to his sister, Desi,

who introduced him to LPN. He says, she's done more than just introduced me to forms of entertainment I listen to every single day at work. She's become an adult, a real adult. That's something incredible because I remember the 16-year-old bowls of cereal under her bed, fall asleep with lit candles, never could keep matched socks, Desi. I know the struggles she went through in her teenage and college years, and I know how hard she worked through it all and grew from it to become the biggest badass out there. She's always been there for me even when I was a little punk,

guided me through my own struggles with my mental health, and showed me nothing but constant support. And I know I said it earlier, but I can't stress how she's old. always been there for me. She's made me the happiest little brother in the world. I'm extremely proud that I can call her my sister. I love you so much. Oh, my heart is melting. I love you both. We've got one more shout-out for you. And guys, thank you so much again. You can send in your shout-outs to page seven podcast, seven the number at gmail.com. It's page seven podcast at gmail.com. And mattie, I need you to know. I am so fucking proud of you. Maddie wrote in with

self-shout because September marks the one-year anniversary of their psychotic hospitalization. They said my mental health was at an all-time low. I made the decision that I needed help. I was terrified, but I'm so incredibly thankful for that choice I made. Things aren't perfect, but this is the most stable I've been in probably ever, and I have the tools necessary to deal with the issues when they arise. Since leaving the hospital, I've gotten a better job. I graduated with my bachelor's in forensic psychology, and I finally know that I'm worthy. of good things and I matter to those in my life. I'm so proud of you, Maddie.

Thank you for getting help and thank you for hopefully inspiring others to do the same by sharing your story. I love you guys so much. And thank you so much for the shoutouts. It fills me with joy. And even if you just send an email just to say hi to me, I read them every week and it always makes me smile. I love you guys so much.

Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. Oh, it just makes me smile. And thank you so much. Edward Larson for joining us on this week's page 7. I really appreciate it so much. I'm so excited to do the roast with you. And, you know, I miss Holden, but I've been having so much fun changing it up.

Thank you for having me. It makes me so happy to be here. I enjoy it probably more than you do. I can definitely say that. No. No, I love having you here in your closet. It's so nice. Yes, yes.

I love to be the sweaty boy that you all deserve. You train it out one sweaty boy for another. Yeah, we're a bunch of sweaty boys here. And Eddie, again, so the last podcast network, Twitch, this Sunday, September 12th. Yes. At 2 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. That's right. The great mugshot roast.

Come and check it out. Lots of big names on it. All your favorite, not all of them, but mostly the roundtable is going to be. there. And I'm going to interview each one of them. We're going to tear apart my mugshot. I'll tell you the story of how that went down one more time. And we just got to get these stoners out of jail. They don't deserve it. It's the one drug that makes you peaceful. I can't tell you enough. Also, check out the brighter side podcast I do on the last podcast network with my co-host, Ms. Amber Nelson, wonderful human being. We got a Diaries edition coming out this week.

I'm going to talk about, we're both going to talk about getting us. on stage again and what that's been like for us. Hell yeah. Because I just did a weekend in Florida and it was great. I did a great job but now I need jokes that aren't about Florida. And also hit me up if you want access to the Eddie Tunes

two hour radio hour. You could DM me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I'm at Eddie Tunes underscore on Twitter. At Eddie Tunes on Instagram. Check that out and I will share with you my new super secret. I haven't told anyone about at radio show.

I love this radio show. Please hit him up. It is very, I love that you're keeping it underground. It's all very silly. I feel very silly and like having the files. It feels like. It's my Google Drive show. Yeah.

It's Eddie's Google Drive. And again, what was the email again, Eddie? The email, if you want to send in your mugshots, send it to Mugshot roast at gmail.com. And you will be receiving a release form. and you've got to sign that release form and get it back to us, or your mugshot will not be on the show because we want to make sure that everyone is officially a volunteer and not sending in other people's mugshots and stuff like that.

So signed your release form. We're going to have a lot of fun. I guarantee you to be worth it. There's going to be some really cool acts on there, like the Felice Brothers, start making sense. The greatest Talking Heads cover band is going to be doing a short set. We're going to talk to some, also some professionals, some very smart people in this field trying to get people out of jail.

It's all for the last prisoner project. Let's raise some money for these people. We love this much. Hell yeah. I like it because it's on Sunday afternoon, just like when you guys used to record a roundtable. Absolutely. It is. We have to get hammered.

I'll get hammered. I'll put you on later because I don't want to start drinking until the end. All right. I've got to be on my toes for three hours potentially. You know, when you hit? you're mid-30s, you have to have a reason of like, wait, I'll, yeah, no, I'll drink. Can I drink? Get me a bucket of tecates.

Yeah. And my name is Jackie Sprowski. You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm and come check out my Twitch channel, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Oh, no, it's Jackie. Tonight, because this episode comes out on Thursday, we'll be doing or have our style high club with a personal stylist. Lisa Rose, come in with your question. You'll leave with some answers and a smile on your face. I love it.

And MJ? I'm MJ and I'm MJ K-L-K-K-L-Kat on Instagram. Yes. Yes. We love you guys so much. Thank you so much again, Eddie, and we will talk to you next week. Nice. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Thank you.