Page 7 - Ep. 419: We're Coming for Everybody Today, No One's Safe

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Join us as we start this episode with BREAKING NEWS about the Britney Spears conservatorship and stay tuned for some hot goss’ about the disaster that is the casting for Mario, Eminem’s new restaurant appropriately(??) titled “Mom’s Spaghetti”, Grimes and Elon Musk head to Dumpsville, the Bernie Sanders Halloween costume and Jackie's feelings towards it, Nicolas Cage getting kicked out of a Vegas bar and Jackie finally watches the Matrix! In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; is Beyoncé actually Italian!?Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Of course, right before we start recording, we find out that Jamie Spears can get F in his age. Because every time I try to fly, I... It makes me so mad. I feel like I just got every time by Britney Spears out of my head. And the second I see her name in the headlines, I'm like, oh, there it is. Every time is right back into my brain. Welcome to page seven.

I'm in the middle of a psychic battle with holes in. Yes. Jackie and I disagree about dinner preparations. And now we're at a psychic war. It's bigger than the MCU. The LPNU is going to be larger and more expansive. We're going to have more witches. We're going to have more warlocks than the MCU ever had.

And there's a rock monster in there and everything. My favorite Britney Spears song would definitely be the more recent. Hey, Jamie Spears, go fuck yourself. I love this song. Get off of my elf and off of my. Shell, it's Christmas time. No, it's not. That's my car.

Get off of my outfit. Off of my shelf. Clarifying question, Jackie. When you say he needs to get, Jamie Spears can get F in his H. Does H? In his hole? Yeah, any hole he's got.

Any hole he's got is to get F in it. So mouth fucked or asshole fuck. No, no, no. I was saying flowered. Like, I hope that someone throws flour in the hole. It gums it all up. Well, yeah. Like, he always used to go flower and the hole.

No, it gums it all. up it makes it like a paste it's hard to get out and it's all wet you're like oh what do I do I got to clear my whole flower and I hate a thick paste if you want to get my gears grinding you show a thick pace to me put it my hands see how I react to that it's more of a rue I would say with it's flour it's like a root yes oh yeah get some butter

down there get to get it to the texture of wet sand is what we like and then you milk it you milk it you milk it yeah Are we talking about milk again? No, I wanted to promise you today, Jackie. No milk talk. I saw the look on your face. Psychic battle. We went deep down the milk talk, rabbit worm time hole.

You talking about my flower hole? And we will not be doing that. I have not been drinking it, and I refuse to admit that I've been drinking it. I'm proud of you. I am proud of you on that. But again, yes, we were having a psychic battle about meal subscription plans. We're not going to get into that right now because I've got things to say about it. but I'm going to keep them inside of my little mouth prison.

Lock it up, throw away the key. But don't worry. God, I wish I could go visit that mouth prison for an afternoon and hear the many things Jackie is not feel that she is certified to say. It's a representative of the podcast human race. Yeah, absolutely. My chamber of screams. Well, if you want to hear what really I feel like on my chamber of screams,

you can head over to Twitch.com. forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie, where my freedom is released because I have no dominion there. Just Twitch. Just the corporation that is Twitch, they will say you there. As long as I'm not playing, you know, as long as I'm not saying the word sex,

as long as I'm not playing any kind of music, or as long as I'm not smiling, then Twitch doesn't mind what I do. But anyway, we're talking about Britney Spears. We're talking about it. This is the, okay, so this is not off the presses. There was no preparation for this. Usually I write down everything I say on the show.

Very scripted. Very scripted. But yeah, I mean, so I didn't realize. So Britney Spears is not done with being under the conservatorship. Jamie Spears, I thought he was already ousted. This feels like a long time coming and more recent events that it was going to probably happen. But he's now formally just removed as conspirator. Yes, and he is asking, seeking at least $2 million on his horse.

way out. And what it seems before is that he was like set aside, but now he's stepped down. Like, I think that it was like still a possibility that he could be like shifted over back in. Again, I'm not a lawyer. We just started reading the article on this. But I know, I wish Jackie Zabrowski DDS. Is that what, is that a lawyer? No, that's mouth. That's mouth. And get me in that hole. DDS. Esquire is lawyer. Esquire? Oh, although Jacqueline Esquire. I would, I drop the last name. I'd just be Jacqueline Esquire. sexy. I'm Jacqueline Esquire, but I'm not.

I'm Jacqueline Esquire. But I'm not yet. And I don't know what this means, but I know that he's probably going to try and get as much money from her as as humanly possible. But I think a lot of that is going to start going to start going to the lawyers that he has to start paying for. Because I believe that he was using her money to pay these lawyers before.

Right. And for everything. And for literally the orange juice in his refrigerator, I believe. Yeah. It's a yucky daddy, not like the daddy's on this show. They're all not yucky. I'm a yay, yay, daddy. And you're welcome, listeners, that I'm so good at it.

And I'm so wonderful about it. Yep, that's what everybody says with the breast milk, although we're not talking about milk anymore. It's like I drink it in front of her and make her jealous about it. I drink it in secret. Did you just think of that? And now we're going to do that later on today because I feel like you just thought about that. I got your milk.

I got your milk. Keep crying. I'll keep drinking. your milk. Wham, wham, what you can do about it? Can I also just,

I want to formally apologize. I should have seen y'all an article or something. I feel like worlds collide. Wizard of the Brewser, page seven, worlds collide a little bit.

I don't know if you all heard a little bit about a little upheaval lately over a lead actor getting cast as the voice of Mario. Oh my new Mario movie. This is my upheaval. I am upset.

I am upset about it. Chris Pratt. And don't worry, y'all, the gamers are also very upset. We may be looking at a new Sonic's teeth coming around the corner. As you know, the gamers revolted against the Sonic trailer. The Sonic looked weird, and they were like, all right, we'll fix it. You know, in this situation, I think they're like, you already got our Guardians of the Galaxy.

He already got into our, is he in Star Wars? I don't know, but he's all up in it. And now he's taken Mario. It's so funny. The video, watch the Instagram video he posts about. A, it's like so cocky. And then at one point he's like, it's a me, it's a Mario. That's not the voice.

But we're working on it. It's gonna be really good. It's just like so. And I guess what you have to know is, really, is I believe his name, what is it, Chris Martinelli. I think it's also, you know. The guy who has voiced all of Mario should be the voice of Mario. Like, give him the money.

Yeah. Give that guy the money. Please. I love that Jack Black is going to be Bowser. That makes me smile. I really like Charlie Day as Luigi. and honestly it has nothing to do with the fact that like as an eye tie myself that I'm like it has to be an Italian you know it's like I understand that you can get someone else I'm just

done with fucking Chris Pratt I'm done with him I can't leave he came for Mario it's Charles Martinette the rest of the voice cast is pretty fun actually you've got Charlie Day is Luigi Anya Taylor Joy is Princess Peach Jack Black is Bowser Seth Rogan is Donkey Kong Kegam Michael Key as Toad Fred Armisen is cranky Kong love that's a fun one one, right? But yeah, right there, that stinky, stinky stink right at the top. Chris Pratt is Mario. And Martinette apparently is going to be involved in the project in some capacity, is the quote, make, I don't understand, I really don't get it. I don't understand why the voice of Mario can't be Mario. Every game. And these are just to be like, we got to get people into the

seats and the theaters. We're out the fucking theater. We're here. You know what, Nicole Kidman, I'm done with Nicole Kidman in the beginning of every fucking movie. Hot takes. You're coming after meal services. Yes. You're coming after Kidman. Chris Pratt. You're mad at Nicole Kidman.

Now you're taking it out on Nicole Kidman. I love Nicole Kidman, but A and C. Has this, they have this like link up Nicole Kidman before every single movie. She's like, The Power of the Theater. I love God to the Theta. And then she sits and it's her like pretending to watch movies. It's like, we've got to got by. to, I don't know, it's Australian.

I don't, I can't do it. Yeah. We got, it's a bad, back to the theater. That is the godfather. That's the more of the grand know what you're doing right now. I'm also, I'm at the theater, Nicole. I'm here already. You don't need to tell me to get back to the fucking.

Well, she didn't ask him to play it for you in the theater. She just wanted to, you know, she wanted to make somebody. It's, so she could, can you just stare into her husband's eyes lovingly while he makes her a country song? I'm at an Italian woman on the Alba. You know what I mean? sing his fucking garbage. All right, yeah, we're coming for everybody. No one's safe.

Yeah, coming for Keith Urban is fine. That is a logical move if you're talking about it. But I think the problem, I think that Chris Pratt, they just, I think it seems just like they didn't know that there's been a shift towards hating him.

Like, because it seemed like you said, like why have him instead of the voice of Mario? Oh, because he's like a big fun guy. You put in blockbusters, except he's not anymore and we all hate him. And not everybody. hates him, but I think a lot of people hate him. Seems like the gamers are mad, the regular old

people who like people who aren't famous people who are pieces of shit. Yeah, it just, it just seems like a miscalculation. Like, read the room. Nobody likes this bro anymore. Like, get some, even if you're not gonna, yeah, it's like, I think that Italian representation is not really the question here. It's more just like, oh, motto! Come on, MG, coming out for my people.

It is the last bastion of groups of people that we could still sort of not, you know, it's because I've got my gabagool and I'm fucking watching the sopranos, don't mind me. Is it literally just because the word Gabagool is so silly? Yeah, Gabagool is so funny.

No, I, I, it's just such a funny word. How can we ever take it seriously? No, it's very, very silly. In fact, whenever I say Gaba Gable, people are like, Capacola. I'm like, I know it's fucking Gapagola. It's fun to say.

Say the word aloud right now and you yourself, Gabagul is fun to say. Yeah. You know what's also fun to say? Maron, which I keep saying. And I can't stop. And you know what? No one judges me for it, at least not openly.

They judge me maybe silently. But I like saying it and it gives me, and I mean, we talked about this as the head. We're doing the, oh! And I'm getting louder is what I'm saying. What's that movie coming out? I'm excited. I know it ain't talking to me. Nice.

Is it this Friday? Oh, hell. There are so many good things. I'm like stressed because I'm struggling to keep up. Yeah, there's why the last man. There's impeachment. There's not. Perfect Strangers, which I still haven't watched.

And I just realized it's about to probably be haunting. There's going to probably be a haunting on some house, you know, season. Like, I don't know. Oh, that's already out. Well, there's a new, I believe that I can't remember if it's a movie. There's American Horror. There's a movie. Mike Flanagan out.

But also there's the Muppet Haunted Mansion. Come out. Be thinking of it. Yes. So excited. And I hope that, too, they've got to do like a Muppet Disneyland Haunted Mansion thing, too. They'll probably change it for the season, right? So I might even...

Midnight Mass. Midnight Mass is the new. Mike Flanagan is the new, like little series that he put out. I don't even think I finished Blind Manor. I was like, I couldn't, there's such a short,

I should need to start my spookies in September instead of waiting until October. I don't do well with the TV show scary thing. I think I like my horror stuff in movie for it. You didn't like Bligh Manor or Hillhouse? I like both of them so. much. I don't know what it is. I have a hard time with the extended, long, extended,

drawn out. I kind of want that hour and a half experience. You know what I mean? Hour and a half, two hours, right? But that's just me. And that's a holden opinion. Oh, no. Don't start branding a holden opinion. I don't know what I'm going to put the screen of a phone. Cancel the t-shirts, guys. Cancel the t-shirts. No holding opinion.

It is a holden opinion. I do want to know what the holding opinion is about mom spaghetti. We're not gonna not talk about this. It's opening like right now, by the way. It opens in like an hour or so. I was like, oh my God, it opens like during the recording session, right? Yes, and it is Eminem is creating.

He has created a Detroit restaurant called Mom Spaghetti that opens today, which is yesterday for everyone that's listening to this. And I guess I just feel like, It's too, like, if you were going to do this, shouldn't you have done this like 15 years ago? It is strange timing. Right?

But the meme has only strengthened over time. I mean, even you know from our jack and stream on Fridays, multiple times we've had donation to play the remix of the song where he only says, Mom's Spaghetti. He's just like, Mob spaghetti, Mob Spaghetti, Mob Spaghetti, Mom spaghetti. It just does it the whole time for the whole song. I feel like it's one of those internet made it over time, weirdly now more, pop, like, just like never going to give you up, right?

I mean, it's just his hit of, I would say it's a little, even old for the internet by a couple years, this is true. But I want to try that spaghetti sandwich. I don't know. I don't want to try a spaghetti sandwich. Nothing against Texas toast, obbs. And you know I love a spigette because obbs, but I don't know if I want it in betwixt. And yet, this is coming from a thick bitch that loves a, like,

You put macaroni and cheese on a pizza, I'm gonna eat it, but my belly's gonna hurt. I can't, I can only eat one slice. I love that shit, dude. There was a mac and cheese and chicken pizza slice at that place in Williamsburg. Vinnie's, bro. And they had the T. Hanks little thing

that could post on, speaking of Reddit, they post that on where it had a picture of Tom Hanks on the garbage thing and said, because they put a dot at the T's, so instead of thanks, it said T. Hanks. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, I do. They had that fucking mac and cheese chicken slice,

and it had like mustard in it or something. Had hot sauce on it. I would fucking light up a bank right now just to get a taste of that. I'm scared. I'm scared of him. It's a holding opinion. And that right there's a holding truth. No.

Yes. What animal is that? What animal sound comes with a holding truth? Is it like, kill me! That makes a lot. Yeah, talking a mutant animal that was created in a lab must be murdered to its death. Where were the fuck are we even talking about?

Mom spaghetti. I feel like the problem. I will say about the pop. Yeah, you go, you go. Am I the only, am I gonna be the first one to say that it is a song, it's obvious, everyone knows, but it's like famously

a song lyric about puke. It's just hard. Yes, that is weird. It's just rough, you know. The next line is about vomit, you know? I just don't think that that's great branding, but obviously everybody loves it. I will say, I do love

when an artist does not take themselves too serious. I love that this is what Eminem's been up to while Kanye's been like doing the weird shit with Donda, right? Like this is what he's been at. That's why I've always... Today Kanye released a $90

sweatshirt, like a easy sweatshirt through Gap and everyone's like, that looks like something I would just buy at Walmart. Oh, terrible, yeah, and people are so dumb about his merch. I don't get it that aspect of it. Like, why does the, if it's, yeah, anyways, why would you pay that much? But again, I used, I used,

to literally go to Abercrombie and Fitch store because everybody liked to wear that at the school I went to and I would just look at the price tag and be like, can you believe that? Like I would just like walk around and be like, I can't believe it's a hundred dollars. I hate overpriced thing. I love a deal.

I live for a deal. It's all I want in my life. But I think that's why I've always liked Eminem because even the first thing I saw was that music video for My Name is Slim Shady, right? What? What? And I was like, this is so different.

This is so, this looks, I feel like I'm watching a sketch comedy show right now. with this music video and I went out and bought that album like immediate like I saw the video and I was like it just like oh like shown on me like something I was like this is I this is what I need and went out and had that album like so early I feel like you know because I'm a bit of a hipster right people like to call me that people like just say I'm kind of with it Sonic youth you know what I mean I'm just saying sonic youth you know you guys think that this is just Holden on the podcast but what did you You heard of yourself right before we started recording.

Holden, what was it, like, ever-flowing, like, Millennium Falcon or something? Millennium, the Millennium man, the millennial man. Yeah, the millennial man. People referred me as a millennial man. And you said that you identify with Elon Musk because you're just like him, you're a millennium man. You know what? I say to everybody, always be recording. Just live life like you're always recording.

No, okay, Jamie Spears. You're going to bug my bedroom, too. You don't want to hear you. Well, you win a conservatorship, Jaggie. Oh! You can only drink dog's milk for the next two years. Honestly, I'd lose a lot of weight. What a new diet fed.

Oh, my God, that's what we'll do. We'll spin into a diet fad. Dogs milk. Jack is a Brow's tea. Well, yeah, we'll call it bitch feed. And everybody wants bitch feed because, man, once you start sucking, those pounds start dropping. All right.

Good Lord. Where are we getting to? I feel like the tangents are ripe. Right now. Oh yeah, Mom's spaghetti. I agree. It's just a dumb pop-up. I'm anti-holds pro. Jackie, where do you land? You're the tiebreaker. Yeah, love it. I'm playing it. All right. I think it's great. You have to go into the Pinedadrom for five minutes. I got to call it to the Pantadrom for being a hater. Honestly, he's kind of nice, though. It's silent in the Painted Dr.

Except for your screens. Children aren't in the Painted Drome. It's just pain. But silent pain. And we have to talk about, because of course, we were talking about, because of course, we were talking. about Elon Musk because Grimes and Elon Musk not only have separated, but Grimes said it's, it's, I think that they're fine with it because now they're going to go start a lesbian commune on Europa or just I guess one of Jupiter's moons. There you go. Because as we know, which I did not know until all of this, that Elon Musk, like the new thing, this is how little I know about Elon Musk.

And please, MJ, I hope that you can enlighten us. I know that he's bad, number one. I know number two that he's a billionaire. I know number three that he is taking celebrities to space as well as people that are rich enough to get to space. But now, apparently, number four, is something that he wants to colonize not only Mars, but Jupiter's moons. And I did not know that. They're going to Europa. He says he wants to die on Mars.

Sure. But we hate him. I think all the space men should go to space and stay there. It's not that I don't want him to go to space. It's that I don't want them to have any power here. I just want him to go to space and stay there and be perfectly fine and alive and while taking care of. well-fed and using up all the resources that that will take, rather than just depriving people of resources here. Elon Musk is, you know, a famous spaceman, but the thing that's bad about him,

aside from just being a spaceman who somehow landed an incredibly hot and talented partner, is that he is like Jeff Bezos in the sense that he does not think that he should pay taxes. He thinks that he should have an inordinate amount of power. He is a billionaire. He's the second richest person on the planet besides Jeff Bezos. And he gives money to conservative PACs and Republicans. And he gave money to, like, 26 lawmakers who opposed the electoral college certification leading to the January 6th mob attack on the Capitol. You know, he is a badman in terms of his politics.

It's not just that he's rich. It's not just like an eat-the-rich situation. He's like a rich guy who's actively trying to make sure that he hoards all of the wealth and gains as much power as possible in the process. And he's like a conservative person. But he also is like, oh, I give money to Democrats too. He tries to present himself. He's like, I don't have an ideology.

I'm just a space. And whenever the space man say that, don't listen to that. But honestly, don't listen to those spaces. Come on, that works every single time out of the gate. I'm not a, you know, I'm not a, I'm not racist. I'm just a spaceman. Yeah. I just live in space.

Why? I just want to go to space. Yeah. I don't know. What? So at least that makes a lot more sense of why we don't like Elon Musk. Well, there you go. I just want to finally get to just say,

I read a million blinds about Elon and Grimes. Every week, I like never use them because, hey, yeah, Elon's like more of a political figure in these ways. And it's just sort of, I don't know. I just feel like it's when he's just so over talked about, I feel like, which is why I'm glad we're finally talking about it now because this is a new story worth it. Right. Because every blind is just like, they're in an open relationship. He's banging, I think Amber Hurd or somebody on the side. and they're always doing, like, crazy drugs.

It's not even, like, just cocaine. It's like... Seems like they do a lot of pollucing. They're doing, like... Yeah, they're doing, like, dolo leaves and, like, laser pointer drugs. They're doing that... They actually figured out how to make that eye drug from Looper.

I'm talking about a fucking movie, by the way. Looper! Talk about a movie! Ladies and gentlemen, Looper is a movie that you should watch. But, yeah, the eye drugs or whatever. They're doing that kind of stuff and listening. And then Grimes is like, I wrote a new song.

Who peasant? Do you don't live it? You know, it's like I liked Bjork when she was Bjork. But also I do like Grimes and think she's really good. That's the thing. And then in all of this, it was like, I'm going to, like, let me look into more Grimes. Because I feel like years ago, Henry and I, when we were doing a solo, just the two of us, page seven, we started talking about Grimes, but neither one of us knew anything about her as a performer or what that she did at all.

we just knew the name Grimes, and I knew that I liked her music. And then I started looking into her as an artist, and I will say, I understand it's not for everybody. But I will say, she's doing some shit. And if you look at her, like, she's got these alien scars all over her back that she got tattooed in.

I mean, she's definitely in, she wants everyone to know that she's an artist first. And I think that's something that really does kind of make me sad, though, of like everything that people are like, oh, I loved this album. I loved what you did. And she's like, it's shit. Everything I make is horrible.

And like, she made visions by like, holding herself up in a room for nine days without food or company or sleep to make it. And she still now, like, hates it. And it just makes me sad of like, man, I hope that you smile sometimes. Yeah. Like, I am actually excited thanks to you guys. that today I'm learning more about crimes because I was just like I my only like phantom understanding of her before she got with Elon Musk was just like oh yeah she's like a freaky

uh mystical music person but then as soon as she got with Elon Musk I was like okay you must like I just didn't I didn't know what to make of her then as a popular figure like why like are what is this and I know you shouldn't necessarily judge somebody just based on their partnership but I was just like what what like why Why are you with him? If you want, you can base some of these factoids. She hates vegetables, but she's strictly vegan. So for two years, she ate only spaghetti.

Mom spaghetti. Mom spaghetti, it all comes full circle. But apparently one of her favorite things to eat is something called sludge, which is just like coos-coos with some stuff mixed, like veganase and hot sauce mixed into it. And she loves eating caffeinated gummies. And these are like, you hear this about a person. And part of me is just like, aye, aye, aye.

And the other part of me is like, well, fuck yeah, I guess. You do you? But it makes me want to listen to it more. Like, her music videos are very weird. I do like, like, like, she believes that Grimes is genreless. Grimes is a separate alter ego from Claire the person. I like that she purposely doesn't listen to current music

when she's, like, making an album. She, like, takes a big, like, current music break because she doesn't want to have any. be influenced at all and try to create something like holy original which I think is cool. She did put her soul up for sale on the internet for $10 million. Put her soul up on sale for the internet. And dude, it's like, yeah, maybe, you know, if anyone's going to be like into a spaceman. Yes.

You know what I mean? And sort of ground control to major tight. You know what I mean? And the whole thing, I bet he was just like, remember that song? That David Bowie's like, you know what I mean? I could give that to you. You know what I mean? It's just that whole thing.

and they sit around, they don't talk, again, yeah, they don't talk about taxes. They talk about moon rocks and Mars colonies, you know what I mean? They're not sitting there being like, oh, you know, what's, who are you donating to? No, they're sitting there being like, yeah. And when the, you know, a star shatters, it creates a million dreams. You know what I mean? They're talking about that, and doing so, and they're just like, oh. And by the way, all these sentences I'm saying, just huge sniffing noises happen in between each of those.

sentences. And I feel like, right, I feel like with Elon Muskies, just like the, I feel like if, if you become like incredibly wildly successful based on like real, real, real talent and being really interesting when you're like so young, as young as she was when she got famous, and then you meet this guy who's just like, job is to be the most insuffable guy on the planet who talks about space all the time. And then you just like totally get off on your like space conversations. Like I can imagine it. And she's like, yeah, you know, you don't learn a lot of drugs. We're doing a lot of drugs,

eating fucking cous-coo sludge. Like, I get it. I can imagine how that happens to someone. And that, you know, maybe he seems like a real interesting, free thinker or something. But I'm just like, come back to Earth. Yeah, but then there's, like, things of like,

so she said this lesbian commune comment. And now in seeing that it's like, oh, this is all lead up because she's got an album coming out soon that apparently is a space opera about an AI lesbian romance. And the thing is that that line, fuck, yeah. Like, immediately, I'm just like,

cause of course. And there's just so many things that, like, as I was learning about, like, like, Elon Musk had tweeted out, a tweet that just said pronouns suck. Yes, right. And her immediate response was, or I believe their immediate response was, I cannot support hate. And it was like openly just like, no, don't agree with what you're saying.

And I like the fact that, like, well, then you look at that relationship and you're like, well, at least she's not just like laying down and letting him steamroll. Moonwalk all over her. It has to be backwards. Always backwards. Isn't that a baffling relationship?

Imagine being in a relationship where your partner says something that's just like both hateful and just trolly. Like you're just doing that to be like an obnoxious piece of shit and your thing is to go on Twitter and be like don't. And I'm glad she did.

It's definitely good that she did that. It's just baffling to understand what is this relationship. How does it make sense? Because MJ, when you get into a Tesla and turn on, it doesn't make an engine noise. It makes a noise like, like a fucking UFO. They keep exploding.

You see all the tweets that people being like, Tesla, I love my Tesla, it's the best car in the world. It definitely's turned off in the middle of the highway and I nearly got into a like huge collision, but I'm very scared. Best car in the world. They're all over the road here

and it's very, every time I see one, it's just like, I don't trust you. Get away from me. Well, they all sneak up on me. Yeah, they always sneak up. They're like, hey. I'm like, ah. I'm just like walking down a dark street.

Like I do. I love walking down dark streets. Night alone. Electric cars, yes. Self-driving cars. No, thank you. I know it's the future and I know it's coming for us,

but I don't want to get you. Dude, as soon as I can get that fucking robot drunk tank, you know I'm going to get that shit. I cannot wait for that. I mean, hopefully it would just be like from the neighborhood bar almost a walkable distance away, but just a little too far. You know what I mean?

Just enough to put your life in the hands of a robot. Yeah. Just enough to put my life in the hands of a robot. robot. Well, I just remember a buddy of ours who did get a Tesla. I was talking about, like, they were talking like, oh, yeah, I was at the grocery store and was like, I'm going to have it come and pick me up. And he said it to come pick him up. And he's like, I just watched as it almost hit like four people. Yeah. Of course. Like, I'm terrified of it. I don't understand. I won't get the car. I won't get in the car. But I did sit in the car and go like, wow. Wow.

It's so cool. Yeah, yeah. Of course. It's crazy. There's no engine. So there's like the front panel is just like a big touchscreen. It's, of course, it's cool shit. Does it look like the David Hasselhoff car? You know? Yeah, Night Rider?

Yeah. I see it. Then, oh, mama me. I just want, that's the thing. I want to have sex with that car. Jackie, would you like me to make love to you? Please press. Is that David Hasselhoff or is that Elon Musk?

I'm being Knight Rider. Oh, Night Rider? Oh, yeah. I'll bang Night Rider. I don't want to bang either one of the aforementioned people. Speaking of people, I don't want to bang. What if they dress like Darth Vader, like in Revenge of the Nerds and sort of seduced you in that way?

I could. I could. Jeff said that. So, I mean, I'm pliable. Is that scary? Is that a scary thing to say? What I was trying to say is, speaking of people, I don't want to have sex with, Bernie Sanders has been turned into a Halloween costume.

Of course. I'm upset about it. Rude segue, Jackie. Root segue. Yeah, that's my man. Come on now. I did. I'm not saying I don't believe it.

in his politics. I just, you're saying you want to? You want to get in the sack with him? I wouldn't. He's not on my, he's not on my list. I feel like I'd put his flaccid penis my mouth and he'd fall asleep. Oh, right, please, Jackie.

Can we for a moment? Niagara is the thing and I apologize. Good Lord. That was, that was, agist, and I apologize. But I'm upset because the thing is like, the first sexy Halloween costume of the year is here. And it is, it is the Bernie Sanders from Was that in the inauguration?

Oh, him with his mittens. With his mittens on sitting in the chair. Which I'm going to argue was too long ago, if I didn't have this side-by-side picture reference and I saw this lady sitting with her gloves like this and everything and like I'm seeing in the picture. She just looks cozy. No pants on.

I'd be like, who are you? And that's the thing, right? I've now learned that's the new trick, right? Don't pick something you have to explain all night. It's really annoying. You think it's going to be fun? and then you do it like three times and you're like, I've made a huge mistake.

I have a friend. I will not name them. They always choose something that they have to explain all night. Jackie does what I'm talking about. I didn't smirk. There was no smirking that happened. And every time I hear what they're going to be,

I'm like, okay, enjoy explaining that all night. Every single person and not talking about anything other than that. Except for what your costume is. I think that it can be fun if like, oh, I'm a, like, Like, I am a spaceship. Like, like, creating something that's big and weird and you don't know what it is. Right. But it is, like, still, like, sexy and you have to explain it?

Yeah, it's like a concept. Yeah, man. My best idea ever. What I learned that year is that you don't want your Halloween costume to be like what you think is a good joke. You need it to be a good costume. And my, what I thought was a great idea was to go as a dog dressed up for Halloween. But. Oh.

Nobody got it. I love that. I do love that though. That is such a funny, like, in hindsight, bad concept. Absolutely, nobody got it. They were like, what, so you're a pirate? I was like, no. Look at the whiskers and the ears.

If there's a dog, you're a dog. Dressed as a pirate for Halloween, absolute fucking crickets. Not one laugh the whole night. There's three steps in to explain it. Is that the bad thing? Right, everyone knows that explaining a joke is the best way to tell a joke, right? So I think that's why explaining a joke Halloween costume is always death, and then you have to do it all night because people are at a party, and so you're already dealing with like coming up with things to talk about, and so they're immediately going to go for what are you if you're not obviously the thing, which is nice.

What, Jackie? I apologize. I was just scrolling through this. This costume costs $85. Oh, my, it's literally a coat and mittens. I'm sorry, I'm being you at an abercrumpie right now. I'm like $85. I literally used to do that.

I literally used to do that, like an old person. Like I would walk around Aberga and be like, can you believe? It has a hole in it because I was when they were doing like fake ripped jeans too. Oh God, you have been an old man forever. You're gonna pay for the jeans when they already got holes in them. Rip them yourself. You're all right.

All right, but it's in Bill's house. And it's at Bernie's house. And yeah, I definitely, we did waning Garth couple's costume last time. And it was so immediate. And I'm like, ugh, that's the good stuff, huh? You know? Or if you would go really basic, like I would just, I just wore through on like a hot dog costume. Just a big, dumb, obvious hot dog costume for like three octobers in a row.

Yeah. Why not? That's what I am. It doesn't matter. Like, it really is. the tequila, where's, you know what you mean? It does matter if you're into making costumes. I do understand that.

But for me, for a very long time, Halloween was all about banging someone I barely knew in a bathroom. So it's like, I didn't care as long as like, it's not even that I was dressing sexy. It was like, can I not wear underwear with this or can I, I mean, oh God, my mother listens to the snow. Maybe we'll take that out. You can't know.

You have to be able to tell us stories like that still. I don't care if she's listening. That's why people tune in. They want to hear these sort of lascivious things. I was waiting for that shoot a drop. Can I get these without the panties on them? Ma'am, I have asked you to leave the store. The police have asked you to leave the store.

We're not going to cut the panties off of these and stop trying to bite them off. There are children in this Halloween store, man. The secret to a really good Halloween custom is. that you have to look, I think that the best Halloween costumes are ones where you can look cool. I mean, Big Hot Dog, I absolutely agree that that's the best way to go. But another good option is one where you end up looking cool, but not like in a sexy way, but like, you know, like I'm a molder, you know, or something. And then you just like, you know, and then you're like, oh, whoops, I look great. You know.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And also I did something that makes me look in a good light. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yes. Yeah. And sometimes you got to do things that don't make you look like you're in a good light,

like Nick Cage getting kicked out of this bar in Vegas. This is rough. This is a rough story. I was like, how much do you have to do to be a celebrity in Vegas to get kicked out of a bar? Especially Nick Cage. Especially Nicholas Cage. Well, what do you have to do? You have to be shoeless and you have to start trying to have a physical fight with the staff.

You have to be mistaken for a homeless person, which is what happened in the article. I literally thought he was like a drifter off the street that lived in like a tent and like, you know, under the overpass. And instead it was like, that's actually the cage. I feel for him,

I'm sure he should actually get help, but he just is one of those guys that has to live in his work to not be a complete shit show. He's a, you know, he's got like Johnny Deppitis or whatever. Well,

also apparently it is like getting much worse from him because apparently his, mom who he was very close with past I think in like the end of May or like beginning of June so he's kind of been spiraling a little bit and so it's just like it's hard though because if you look up the pictures of him getting kicked out just look up Nick Cage

restaurant Las Vegas it will pop up but his fit was unbelievable he had this like tight shirt on he looks technically I feel like the body wise he looks amazing he had these tight leopard pants on he had these like gold slides

on I thought that he looked amazing, but dude, oh no, that's real bad. And it's unfortunate you because what's funny is he has been working a lot. And for a lot of Nick Cage fans, they're going through like a new Nick Cage Renaissance these days with like Pig and all the stuff. Oh my God, pig was so good. Yeah, he's been rocking it. Yeah, I love it. I'm really kicking off the getting into the, speaking of Assonses, the Kiana Sanses,

that was very horrible segue because what I'm trying to say is I watch the Matrix for the first time. And you know what? Spoiler alert, it's a great movie. Right, it holds up, right? Turns out it's a great movie. That's when there's really airtight movies. And the thing that's important to do

is to watch it under the guise of like, these action sequences, this is like the first time anything like this. That's why people lost their fucking minds for it because a lot of those things you've now seen in how many action movies. But that was the first time we saw, that whole scene

is, what is it, in a bank where all the columns get destroyed. And apparently it was all done practically. So I was watching it with friends of ours that knew a lot about the Matrix. So it was actually a lot of fun of like, of course, what you just said, I got the conversation of like, remember, this was the first time

any of us had ever seen this. Remember, the SFX might not be as good, but at the time it was grabber. I'm like, I know. I know what the Matrix well. I'm giving it the grains of salt. Jackie, you're wrong. You've always been wrong and you'll never be right. Shut up, sit down, and watch this movie before I kick you out of your own house. I've been there for those kinds of conversations.

I was like, I'm not going into it being like, prove to me that this is good. I'm aware that this is good, but I got to see it. I have to watch it. Queen Jackie commands you to lay the film upon my knees and I will judge whether it is to Elon Musk. for a second. Have you guys seen the incredible tweet exchange where Elon Musk tweeted, take the red pill, and then Ivanka Trump replied to it or retweeted it? Or so she replied, retweeted it saying like, taken, and then Lily Wilkowski replied to both of them and then said,

fuck you both. Fuck you both. I love it. Very funny. But that's awesome. Both of those things are awesome. The tweet and the Jackie watching it, because, yeah, I think that is one of those. Because, you know, I do not blame you for finding the original Star Wars trilogy to be a little too slow pace for your life. You're a little sleepier than you thought it might be. But I actually can totally see that. But Matrix, I feel like is one of those things. If you haven't seen it today, it'll still kind of captivate.

It'll still draw you in. You know, when you have those blind spots of pop culture where it's like, I knew, of course, like, yeah, like, Neo. I understand, like, I knew about, like, oh, the agent or whatever. but I didn't know what, like it didn't know the plot at all of the Matrix. And in watching it, I was like,

I didn't know. And they're like, it was just great. The watching people watch me just being like, you don't know any of what's going to happen. I was like, no,

I mean, I know that like he's like the thing, right? Which very upset. The look on their face is like, he's the one. All right. He's the,

I'm sorry, he's the one. And here, great news to the next movie's absolutely terrible. I know, but did you? But then I watched the trailer for the,

the one that's coming out, which looks quite good. That's why it looks very good. I might rewatch two and three. I've kind of had people speaking lately about how, you know, two actually, I get it. There's a hilarious, like, dance orgy scene in the beginning that immediately just makes it feel like it jumps the shark, but you'll probably love that, Jackie.

But, you know, I remember just immediately the movie was like, what is that? Like, it was so much buildup for it. It really had to be, like, so unbelievably good to hold a candle to the hype. the first matrix caused, so I don't necessarily blame it. But I've heard actually, in hindsight, it's more enjoyable than people gave a credit for. Well, we can watch it together if you want.

We can watch it for the first time because now I feel like I got to watch all of it. It's great that you're watching, I know it's not your first time with the Sopranos, but I feel like between watching the Sopranos and watching The Matrix, it's just like, you're just like the foundations of like excellent culture from the 90s, you know? I got to get it in there. I feel like it's important to see like, okay, we need to, like I feel like, I feel like I need to see all of the groundbreaking things of like, wow, that is where it started and why it has come to the place that we're at right now. And it is, I feel like we're past all of the

years of like, you didn't see the Matrix. Like, anybody who does that at all anymore? No. And it's also like, I, like, so I saw The Matrix, uh, the entire trilogy in high school because I had a teacher who I think just decided that they were done. He was done teaching. I get it. And it was like, we're gonna, we're gonna just talk about all the symbolism of the Matrix for like months. Nice.

Did a real close watching of all three of the Matrixes. But that was kind of, so I kind of always had it in my cultural lexicon. I hadn't really thought about it. It hadn't really revisited it. But I did not know until that Willie Wilkowski tweet to Ivanka and Elon Musk that,

you know, the Wokowski sisters are trans women. And that that movie, especially the whole red pill thing, being like used by like alt-right people for as this, the red pill is this like, you know, metaphor for like fucking, you know, fascist for like fascist pride and resistance. And the way that that movie has been co-opted by fascist basically.

And these, the women who made it were like, hello, this is completely not what it's about at all. And it's like so cool to me that that is the backstory of the directors, you know. It's like playing born in the USA at a GOP convention. Exactly. So funny. Exactly. I love those moments.

They're so crazy. For sure. Yeah, Matrix is great. And I am excited for the fourth one to come out for sure. And I'm going to watch it. Turns out. Now I'm here and I'm ready for it. And the fact that I can't watch The Sopranos this weekend because my partner is out of town,

so I've got to wait. Well, I've got a possible fact for you of the conspiracies type. Whoa. Oh. Yeah, that was a sentence. Do you believe? Is Beyonce actually Italian? Oh, my God.

I love this one. I love when they are vaguely racist. Yeah, talk about Gabagool. It's like I'm better awake. You sing the same way, but you just do the hand, you know? This one comes in from Samantha who writes, I was looking for evidence of my theory that Beyonce and her dancers are international Spies.

Come on, ladies, now let's get information, but no luck. Instead, have a Forbes article about how Yon's secretly Italian. Well, you know. I love that they had a made-up theory, and they were like, I bet there's something online that confirms this bad shit nonsense. But instead, yeah, the result was, is Beyonce Italian. Danny de Placido wrote an article for Forbes in July of 2020 that explains a theory first presented on Twitter by Florida politician K.W. Miller that claimed Beyonce is actually

secretly Italian, not African American. Now, it should also be noted this actual politician was in fact running for Congress and also loaded this tweet up with a bunch of QAnon hashtags. A bunch of Qaeda hashtags as well. Here's the evidence. A person on Instagram wrote a comment, y'all, and it's got to be true, right? Whistleblower, J.J. wrote a comment on Insta, first stating that, of course, being black gives one wider audience appeal, right guys? That's always the trick. You gotta be black to get the wide audience appeal.

Tale is all this time. He also writes, her real name is Anne-Marie LaSraise. Did they just make it up? Like, I don't understand looking at it. You just made that up. You made that up. You made a name. It doesn't sound like Beyonce.

Anna Marie-Lastrasi. You will soon find out what I say is true. I love sentences like, this is a sentence they wrote. You will soon find out what I say is true. What a weird sentence. Like, just in general. She, Beyonce duped a lot of people. This is the person of the commenter.

How embarrassed are you now? I mean, I'm going to be very embarrassed if it turns out. She's been Italian this whole time. Well, I will say. It doesn't really change the music being good. It implicates, you know, we've talked to definitely about Beyonce being connected is the Illuminati. Well.

Whoa. Well. Whoa. That is Italian, huh? That sounds like Italian word for sure. Connect her to a secret bloodline. You know what? I think I would understand this more of Chris Pratt

were reading this. You can get him and you're... It's me. It's Mario. That's not the voice. But I'll tell you the voice later. So we're good. We're good.

We're good. Yeah. So what do you guys think? Do you agree with this Cuban-on politician? Well, you put it that way. Uh, it's a no for me, Doug. Yeah, I think it's a no for me, dog. I'm sorry, he's a no for me, a dog.

Wow, what an Italian, it's the Italian episode. It's great. The Italian episode. But, um, and thank you for our conspiracy theory. And I guess to just keep it going into, uh, it all started because of an Italian. So it's time for the list. Oh! Did I do this in the right order?

Who's on the list? who started at the list. Gotta have that list. Got to have that list. Oh, you're the Italian who started the list. Oh, you're the Italian. Oh, I am, but also Tony Soprano. Yes, I am breaking up Tony Soprano again. And the reason I chose this list is because I think that you guys have heard this.

But apparently James Gandalfini turned down taking over for Steve Karell on the office when it was offered to him. because HBO paid him $3 million to turn it down. And he was also apparently very, very busy at the time. And of course, people live in the shoulda-cuda-a-cuda-of-like, what could we have had? But the reason why he had turned it down also was like, he's like, I don't do comedy. I don't want to do the office, which I understand.

If you're scared and he didn't want to get into that, and especially at that point in his life, I think that he was really feeling like he was Tony Soprana, but we're not talking about that part. We're talking about it. 15 major movie and TV roles that famous actors somehow turned down. That is the list.

It was a long intro into the list. I know. It was like, you can't explain the lit, what the whole topic of the list? It was very good though. You got there. Well, I ended up looking into it because I was like, why did he turn that down? It couldn't have just been because of the comedy,

but also HBO paid him $3 million. So that will make almost anything easy to turn down, I guess. I wonder what kind of character he was going to be. I don't know. Like, I guess that he could, like I guess just a very dry character. But it would have been, it would have been, I'm not saying that I wouldn't have liked it,

but it definitely would have been different. Very, very alternate timeline. It would definitely not be, you know, Tony. It would be something else for sure. That's what I like about him. He can really do some really, oh, I miss it. Yeah. Sorry, between that and also,

oh, what's his name? Philip C. Johnny Lettony. Philipsymore Huffman's son is doing a new P.T. Anderson movie coming out to talk about people that we lost before their time. But we're, sorry. Jackie, Jackie, come back. Ethan Hawke could have been an independent state, but he said, nah. That's what it says.

He was up for Will Smith's role, but he thought the script was so brain dead. He literally threw it out of his car in the middle of reading it. I love people that do stuff like that. They like, Yeah, yeah. They live in a cartoon world where we just, you know, throws things out the window.

Somebody driving next to Ethan Hot got in a car accident because of that fucking script, you know? Or yeah, I bet some fucking animal died because of the littering or whatever. Try to drive here. Stop throwing scripts out of the window.

Get out of my car. I think I need to be more cartoonish in my life, which would be very scary. But did you guys know that years ago Hugh Jackman turned down the opportunity He played James Bond? Wow. He did that because he was afraid X-Men and Bond would eat up all of his time

and because he thought Bond movies were getting too ridiculous. Oh, interesting. The latter part I think I don't get as much, but it kind of connects to, I know we've got what's his name of Gandalf a little later down, but it's kind of the same thing. Yeah, it's like, if I'm both of these major franchise characters, there's literally, I can do nothing else. I'm not going to get to sing and dance and be the greatest showman.

Yeah. Yeah. And have a whole secret life on the side that he's scared of. Of fucking double. And I know that actually I did like recently. I saw some like I saw some interview or like some headline that was talking to Daniel Craig when someone asked them like, how do you feel about a female bond? Like are you against it? Are you for it?

And he's like, why can't we just write a new character for like an awesome female bond? like, like, essentially super spy. There's a lot of them. Also, yeah, who gives a shit? Yeah. And the people who do are ridiculous, but it's also like, did you just do this,

you know what I mean? So it's, yeah, exactly. How about daughter of bond? Ooh. Yeah, all right, I'll watch it. I'll get all horny watching it. And just like I would have gotten, I guess, horny if Olivia Munn

had played Ryan Reynolds's love interest in Deadpool. She said she didn't want to play a girlfriend character, basically who doesn't do much and wanted a more actiony role so she picked X-Men Apocalypse instead. Good for you.

You really did a good job with the choosing and those two. Idiot. She's fine. Do people not like her? I don't know. I think she's fine. You know how I feel about her.

Broke my Jason Zadakis's heart and I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know anything about it. That's not fair to her. It was like, she was like, hey, honey, can you put it, make me, Can you, like, become the most beloved guy on TV? I know.

It's my paris-social relationship. Let me have it. I'm mad about it, all right? And everyone has dumb things that they're mad about, and I'm weirdly upset at Olivia Munn. I couldn't, you know what? I couldn't pick her up at, pick her out of a lineup.

I know that she's gorgeous. I really do. It's the one with the big kid in her stomach. Oh, so I just started going out. You Olivia Munch, every pregnant woman. Harry pregnant woman. Olivia, man. I'm not going to do that, guys.

But I am going to say the next item on the list. Jessica Simpson nearly took Rachel McAdams' role in the notebook. Oh, that would have been terrible. Yeah, that was a... God, she is not a good actor. Yeah, that was really bad. And apparently she only passed because they refused to take out the sex scene and kind of regretted it once they heard...

when she heard that they cast Ryan Gosling, her first crush. That is, that is, I think it's silly. I guess probably at the time period she had a very, like, religious kind of thing going, and I wonder if it was just, or maybe she just didn't want to do the sex scene. Why do I feel like this is a story she made up after she failed a screen test? No fucking way.

Holden truths. Yeah, this is a whole thing. No way in a million years would they be like, Like, yeah, it should be, because isn't the, I will admit, I haven't seen the notebook, but I'm pretty, doesn't involve like a fair amount of acting jobs. Yeah, it is like a real movie in a way that assumes it is not really a real actor. Yeah, exactly. She's like, can I wear my Daisy Duke?

She was in Duke's of Hazards. That's the only thing. I remember I used to actually be intimate with that music video. And it was weird because Willie Nelson would pop up every now and again. So it definitely. So now he gets yorny. Just looking at Miller Wilson. want to do its favors to myself.

We've all been there before. We've all, oh my God, oh, he's such a prolific lover. He's got a lot of kids. But did you know that Josh Hartnett, not Christian Bale, was almost Batman? Harnett, Hartnett. What? Hartnett. Heartnet.

Heartnet. Regrets passing on the role, but more because it meant that he missed a chance to work with Christopher, for Nolan than anything else. I don't know if I could have seen it. Yeah. Christian Bill's in bad, man. Hasn't he, like, not been in much since Pearl Harbor? Maybe I'm not.

Pearl Harbor, yeah, he's like. He used to be like, Mr. Big Boy, I'm a crush guy on your magazine covers, and then I feel like Pearl Harbor was so bad, and he just kind of faded into the abet. Oh, Virgin Suicides. What about 40 days and 40 nights? Okay. Three days, yeah, three days a night.

I love Virgin suicides. Oh, it's so good. He's not a very good actor. But I also, I never. I never really, I never, I think I've talked about this before. He was one of those ones that everyone was into that at the time, I was like, I'm not into him at all. But this is also coming from someone that has a cut out, like a middle part of an old magazine

that's up on our wall in our house of Josh Hartnett in a, in underpants and a trench coat with nothing else on just drinking milk and leaning against a car. So I don't know. Maybe I'm not one to talk in this situation. And apparently they asked, and this is what Holden was referring to before, Ian McKellen to play Dumbledore, but he just told him no. How dare they even consider this? He's already the Gandalf, like in everyone's head, and he's going to be the Harry Potter Wizard as well. Like, that would have been so confusing.

That would have been so weird and so over, just oversaturated with McAllen, definitely a great choice with that. because it's like, yeah, I'm already the fucking other old wizard, iconic old wizard in the movies. I already confused the two of them to begin with. That's the same. It's already pretty easy to mix them up. So weird. You know, well, you know, well, we didn't. And how would you have felt if Alec Baldwin was a villain in an MCU movie?

I like how just general this is that he could have been a villain in an MCU movie. There's a hundred million of them. but Baldwin refused to say which movie they wanted him to be in, but says he had to refuse because he was unavailable due to his wife's pregnancy, which don't even get, oh, I'm sorry, oh, she have another, is Hilaria pregnant again? Uh-oh. And she, I don't know about, yeah, I won't say how I feel about that. I won't say it.

You're a dangerous woman today. I've got, oh, I feel like I've got spears in my teeth. Yeah, you do, I'm looking at your teeth. You do have spears. Yeah, Jamie Spears in your teeth. Oh my God, that little bitch. Yeah. Let's rip his fucking dick off.

Let's rip it off. No. Let's just put super glue on the end. That would be kind of fun. Send him in the space with Elon. And, yes, put him in space. Leave him there. But this, last but not least, this gets my juices flowing.

And I'm upset about it that Harry Stiles said no to playing Ariel's love interest in the Little Mermaid remake. Oh, that would have been good. He said, I'll enjoy watching it, I'm sure, and explain that he turned it down because he wanted to focus on making music for a while. And the thing is that y'all know, Prince Eric first cartoon crush. And I'm sure you guys remember that. And I'm in love with Harry Stiles. So it would have really worked for me. This is the only one on the list I think that I really want.

Right. Yeah. Harry Styles is The Little Mermaid. I can't see it. But that's because I think I'm going. Wow. Blind! items.

Ah, we can't see him! Right? Isn't that pretty... That was really good. Good artful. All right. Here we go. Here's the first one up for y'all. Perhaps the rest of the members of this group knew what they were talking about when they wanted a clause in their reunion contract that the nominal lead singer of the group be fined $1,000 per minute. She was late to each show. If that were the case, she would be doing the tour for free.

She did not agree to the... Clause. Whoa. There was a big reunion show, big group of three people, iconic music from when we were young. Destiny's Child? No, but it is R&B and hip hopper's. No, TLC can't do it.

No. No. Salm, no. Salmpea's two. No. My brain. I'll help me. Name that song.

We'll play name that song. TLC, one of them said. Oh, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. In vogue? No, no, no, let's play name that song. I will hum the song, you'll try to name it, okay? Na, nah, nah, nah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ready or not. We can't hide. You can't hide. I'm just singing the song now, by the way. I'm just singing the song now, by the way. I lie. Please keep singing it. I don't know that song?

My brain is not registering. Two of them went on to have a very, good solo career. One of them is always late to shows. That's why I want to call her out because I makes me mad. Oh, the Fujis. Yes.

I didn't, I wasn't thinking of them as a trio. I was specific, I was like, all right, trios. Right. You forget. But I never really thought about them as a trio before. Yeah, yeah. Wyclef, Jean, Praz, and Lauren Hill. Well, now I feel like a dumbo silly head.

Finally re-erad. After 15 years in NYC for a Fuji's concert, however, they were over three hours late, and only perform for 50 minutes. And then I wrote, why? In all capital letters. I've heard about, first of all, 50 minutes, you're three hours late

and performed for 50 minutes. That's insane. I've heard this about Lauren Hill, and it's not just an hour late. I've definitely been at shows where I thought they were going to go on at this time, and it was like an hour later. That's one thing.

Have a couple drinks, whatever. She is consistently several hours late. Can you imagine MJ? Yeah, man. Could you imagine, especially shoutouts like, right? MJ, you made plans to go to this reunion concert. You've got work in the morning.

You paid for a babysitter. You've got someone at home. You get there. They say they're going to go on at nine. They go on at midnight. Yeah, no, that's rough. Which is the case of this. They were supposed to go on at nine.

They went on at midnight and they performed for 50 minutes. No, yeah. That's awful. Fuck that. I don't want money back. I used to just like have no understanding. for late people and then I became a late person. And now I like, I get it.

I still don't like it, but I get it. It happens. But you're Lauren Hill, you got people to help you be on time, you know? Like, at that point, it's so disrespectful. So disrespectful. And it would just, if this was like one time, I have read this same story about her showing up to concerts. Like, how fucking entitled do you have to be to be consistently at least they, people

generally set their watch to her being at least three hours late and sometimes it's way more than that. Like I, because I, this used to piss me off years ago when she was like going around and by the way, love miseducation of Lauren Hill. Like what was one of my favorite albums in high school. This is, I just, when I read this I was like, again? It's just so disrespectful. Yeah. There's nothing that makes, like, it's just, unless of course,

there's a reason, something happened. Of course, yeah, whatever. And then it'd be like skimpy on the set. I just feel like 50 minutes. You still perform for three hours. You should still perform. Until three in the morning. Yeah. Yeah.

Or at least perform for an hour and a half. People waited three. I feel like you have to perform. Yeah, exactly. You have to perform for as long as you were late. Yeah. Right? Like that's what you should have to do.

If you're four hours late, you have to perform for four hours. To make it up anyways. That's my first blind eye. Ooh, that got my blood boiling. Yeah. This next one got my blood laughing. Oh.

Apparently, if you would like to date this former A-list actress, you have to agree to only go to vegan or vegetarian restaurants. She will not go to any restaurant that serves any kind of meat or fish. She doesn't even like to go to movie theaters that serve hot dogs as if... Alicia Silverstone. Yeah, you got it first, MJ, which is why bea-weal, weo! You win the Daily Double! Yes! Yes.

You have a chance to earn $1,000 based on this trivia question. Is it that Alicia Silverstone is kind of the original hated vegan of pop culture? Because she's got famously, she was like the old, when I was a vegan in, let's see, from 2003 to 2006, like she was like the only famous vegan. And she was like famously absolutely fucking ridiculous like about it. And she's definitely one of those just like vegans that's just like, you know, she also famously like, fed her baby like a bird, chewed it up, put it in her mouth. Her motto is greens, grains, beans, and I'm good, Jackie. What do you think about that?

Just think how much shit she's got in there that just has to come out, man. See, if you're going to be, like, I feel like I'm way more in the camp. If I have to choose a Grimes or an Alicia Silverstone vegan, I'm going to go with the Grimes vegan. Hell yeah, eat that spaghetti for three years. And MJ, for $1,000. What river runs through Baghdad? Is it the Euphrates, the Tigris, the Karoon, or the Jordan River?

Oh, Laura. A thousand dollars on the line. $1,000 on the line. Do I get a lifeline? No, it's a different show. No, definitely not. Don't have to pick one of the four blindly. Is it Euphrates, Tigris, or is it Tigris?

Either way, Karun or Jordan River. I'm going to say, um, Kourun. Thank God. No. It is Tigris. Because you would have had to give MJ a thousand. I would have held you to it. I would have made you do it.

I would have taken it. Greens, grains and beans. Jackie, let's try the Alicia Silverstone diet next month. You want me to start chewing it up and spit in your mouth? I want you to do it for the month of November, the entire month of November. We're going to baby bird. I'll baby bird you. I'll come over three times a day.

I'll baby bird you as long as I don't have to drink the milk. Oh, God. Does that mean I have to put breast milk in my mouth and then put the breast milk in your mouth? Yeah, 100%. and it'll be like a fountain, then it'll dribble out of my mouth to go. Wait, but then it'll be peaceful. This is my chance to put the button on the story

that I told last week that I forgot to say, which was that when the clogged a duck story and trying to get the milk out. Yes, when your husband sucked on your breasts. The best part of the story is that I was talking to a friend who this happened to when I was so upset and distraught that I couldn't figure out how to solve it. And she said, well, what had happened to me,

my own boobs were so big enough that I could take care of the problem myself. Wow. Isn't that awesome? It was the first thing that made me laugh all day. I was so upset and then I just burst out laughing. But that's kind of, so I feel like Jackie, ideally you would be sucking your own milk out

and then eating at home. That would be awesome. I would love that. I want to, I hope my breasts get big enough to get up. You have to get a rip removed though. I'm fine. I'm okay with that.

I don't need it. I don't need, please. I don't need it. Please take a little bit out of here. Give me the greens. Was it? Greens, beans and beans? Green's beans and grains.

Alicia Silverstone is maybe right in some limited ways about this. I would rather be an Alicia Silverstone vegan than a crimes vegan, but I've been both. So I understand that. Eating that space ice cream. This final one, here we go. This A-list dual threat actress actually made the suggestion this week after several weeks of filming that the whole production started again because she didn't like her. Her hair color.

Ooh. She didn't like her hair color. So, well, you have to give us so, thinking is a Nikon that has a very specific hair color? It's a whole, it's a reboot. Is it Nicole Kidman? No. It's a reboot.

Because she's playing, I love Lucy, by the way. I thought that's what it was. Oh, that's a good guess, Jackie. It's like beating a dead. I made a joke on Roundtable. Horse. Yeah. You say horse?

Who's a dead? Rebo the horse? No, well, I made a joke, but I said this person. And it's like beating a dead. Horse. No, but I said. Sarah Jessica Parker. There you go.

Deneen. Not nice. I know. Oh, come on. I was in my 20s. We were drinking. That was a round table. All day, every day.

And that was all internet joke. I even took, you know, that was, the internet had been calling her a horse for a long time. That was why I even said. I didn't even think that about her. I think she's beautiful.

And I like Matthew Broderick a lot, too, even though he, you know, with the car or whatever. Yeah, with the killing and the, um, but. I love those people who stay up and I love the producers. He killed him, she looks like a horse, we love him both.

Yeah, you know, but it's fine. That's horrible, and I could see it happening. It's just rife with distress over at the Sex and the City reboot. Everything that I hear is just like, it seems like all of it is a nightmare. It just seems like it should not be happening. I don't want it. I just don't want it. I wanted it to live in its, I wanted it to pretend the second movie never existed,

and I wanted it to end at the first movie and let it live and it's not perfection, but in its good, in its fineness, and it's sometimes very goodness. And I do not want whatever those three people have to say right now. Isn't any, like, reunion of, like, old dogs kind of always going to be,

you know, a reunion of, like, old divas to whatever? I mean, I even heard stories about, like, the audition process for the attempt at a in-living color reboot and how fucking shit showy that was is you get the, these people back together. They all feel like everyone knows them something now and that they don't have to do any work anymore.

You know, it's just a nightmare. Everybody just cares about how they're aging. I agree with all of what you're saying, except for the movie Old Dogs, which, of course, John, Trump says, Robin Williams. That is, that's where they, the, oh, the atmosphere. The character dedication doesn't stop. I do an Old Dogs Wild Hogs double feature once a year,

so I'm with you on that one. Does that make me the wildhog in the situation? Because I feel like you're the old dog and I'm the water dog, right? I don't know what's going on in this episode. Nothing makes sense. I walk through a mirror into a different dimensional realm is what I feel like after all this. I feel like grind. Oh, that's how I feel like Grimes.

Yeah, it's our space episode. Yeah, our and Italian episode wrapped in Italians in space. There you go. Oh, why was this episode so weird? I don't know. Have you ever heard of Italians in space? I'm on my media. Maltobo.

Well, there you go. Motto ben as well, because I have completed the blind items. Whatever it is. We can see again. Gassi Kana. Thank you, everybody. I love Italy. It's one of my favorite places to be, actually.

So you go girls out there that are the people that are Italian. Is it me and my Italian girls? Or is just all Italian people? I just want to say. Holden for loves Italian people. We appreciate you and thank you very much, Holden. And, you know, Henry has to represent the polar side of the family.

I represent the Italian side of the family. And together, no one cares about us. What? More of a knock on Henry, actually, than you. Thank you. It's time for shout outs. Oh, shout. Oh, shout.

Oh, shout. Yes. Let it all out Okay These are the emails That you wrote in about Come on We gotta read them to you

Come on Look at all these Cuty boots Send it in shoutouts Again thank you guys so much For your shoutouts And you can send your shoutouts Into page seven podcast

At gmail dot com And that is seven the number Not spelling it out And we're kick it off with a partner shout out. Creeter wrote In Swelling with Pride about his partner, Alexa's new podcast,

about women's wrestling. Yes, please. That y'all should totally check out. It's called Queen of the Ring. And you can find it on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out, and I know I will because, oh, madame, I love watching the hardcore wrestling personas these hot, tight women bring to the ring.

Congrats, Alexa. Again, that is Queen of the Ring. and BFF's Forever Oh, I get a shout out From a little help from my best friend Was that just a horrible mashup With a little help my friends by the Beatles? Yes, it was, but that's not a part of this shout-out, Jackie

Because Taylor wrote in Because they wanted to give a huge shout out To their best friend, Natalie! She says, She has been my best friend since the first day of freshman year of college So she has seen me at my worst. I knew we were soul sisters when we both left the cringy orientation party to go eat cookies in Washington Square Park together. She's been going through some shit these past couple of months, but she always manages to do it with grace and patience.

You're a brilliant queen, and you can get through anything. I love you forever and always batch. And again, that was from Taylor to Natalie, and thank you guys so much for listening to the show. but also my heart it overflow with. And no, Olivia, you're not too late to celebrate. Your sister's first year of HRT, congrats. Olivia, I love what you wrote. I'm not crying.

I was crying when I read it. All right, Olivia. But here's what she said to Charlie. Charlie have been so lucky to have someone like you to look up to my whole life. Don't, Jackie. You've always been there when I need someone to cry to, when I want someone to laugh with, and you push me to be a better person. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Charlie. Let me put myself. I pull myself together. Watching you grow into this happy, confident, kick-ass woman this past year has been one of the best things to see. I hope you know just how incredibly amazing you are. What better way to tell you how proud I am of you than on our favorite podcast, especially when Jackie cries through the message. Because Charlie, the best thing I'm out and being a woman is a pariahed and I have a little fun and man. Oh, God. I feel like a woman.

Congrats. And our beautiful Bun in the Coven from Twitch, hello, and I love you. Bun in the Coven, aka Sabrina, wrote in a lovely self-shout, and you know that makes me the happiest. We got to scream our self-love from the mountaintops, and I'm screaming my almost-birth-ye love to you, Bunn in the Coven. Happy 27th birthday on today! They say you three, your Twitch communities, and the rest of LPN have helped me through some of the loneliest times of my life.

Thank you so much for the confidence you all have given me. Holden, I hope little Winnie is loving the hatch. I got her. And you know what? I said I bet she is, but I actually know that she is because Holden has screamed about what a fucking godsend it is. He's obsessed with it. So thank you from both of us. And Bridget, there is nothing silly about

birthday shoutouts, but I understand as a gorgeous Libra that you have to feel that way, but I'm so happy that you wrote in. It's Bridges' birthday, and I hope you have beyond the best 37th birthday next week. And apparently, I don't know if you know this, but people born on October 4th are apparently the most romantic people on earth. That's what the internet said, and I'm sure you feel extra romantic with a two-year-old at home. But I hope your birthday is filled with romance,

if that is what you wish, or at least, you know, some chocolate and mac and cheese separately, or maybe together, because that's what I need on my birthday. Much love to you. Thank you so much and happy birthday. And Aaron, I actually think you are a million percent correct that middle-aged mentally ill lesbians and their woolly mammoth dogs are our perfect audience target. And Aaron says, oh, Steph, motherfucking Davis, my person, my soulmate, and my lobster. Steph's birthday is October 1st, and she's turning 36. Steph and I met and fell madly in love eight years ago, and in true lesbian fashion, we moved in together three weeks later.

We have been inseparable ever since. Steph is the funniest, craziest, loudest, most hardworking person I've ever known. She brings hilarity and a booming laugh everywhere she goes and does so much more for others than she would ever do for herself. I love you guys. Please shout up my girl for her birthday. She's been keeping me sane during this pandemic and supporting me while I navigate therapy in my 30s. Mossel, muscle, I truly don't know what I would do without her.

Happy 30s' birthday, Beffernuts. I'm lucky to know you and love you. And it's okay that you picture Jackie when we make love. I do too. I'm there in spirit. You can welcome me into your hearts. And Jessica, I love your love too. and I love how your love was seated in beautiful drumming lies.

I can't read it all to you guys. Rest assured I'm so happy for you guys that you made it 10 years and mazel on the engagement. Jessica says about their partner, Eric, I can't believe how lucky I am to be engaged to this man. He is patient, loyal, loving, and fun. He is self-reflective and always willing to learn and grow. He loves to try new things and makes every holiday the most special event. Oh!

He also makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. I love Eric. I just want to thank him for loving me and for sticking with me all these years while I took my sweet time deciding if I wanted to get married. I completely understand, girl. I love you so much and can't wait to make this thing official. But also, extra, extra, please look up Alfredo ghosts, because that's the sick as fuck name of this beautiful soul Eric's band. And please listen to the way. Jessica describes this band.

They play paranormal rock and roll with an extraterrestrial sound, and it is every bit as amazing as it sounds. It's a must add to your Halloween playlist. And, um, yes, please. Again, that is Alfredo Ghosts, and their album drops close to Halloween. Look them up, Alfredo Ghost, and I can't wait. Oh, as a big ghost fan, you know how I love, oh, I love a paranormal rock and roll with an extraterrestrial sound.

I know if that's very different from Ghost, but you know what I mean. I love you guys and thank you guys so much for your shoutouts. It means the absolute world to me, and I read every single email that comes in, except if it's marked conspiracy, I know, note for mine, always. And you can send in your shoutouts and your artis, or just your high hellos, to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I'm always here rating it. Why do I keep going into that voice?

I'm sorry. Love you guys. Someone also sent us the Lifetime Movie commercial. that is out right now, and I do, I implore upon y'all out there to look up Lifetime's current movie commercials. And next week we will be discussing a lot of the Lifetime holiday movies that will be coming out this year because they were just released. Don't worry. We know when the beginning of spooky season, which of course is the beginning of talking about Lifetime Christmas movies. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, the holidays have officially begun with that. that's the sort of the groundhog of seeing a shadow of the holidays. Oh my God, it is. The Lifetime movie, like holiday movie list is the like the, oh, six more weeks. Brings it on. Three more months still we get out of this year. And thank you guys so much for joining us.

My name is Jackie's brown. You can follow me on Instagram, eject that worm. And you can come hang out on my Twitch. Twitch.com. TV forward slash oh no, it's Jackie. Tuesdays we talk about sex. Thursdays we talk about fashion. And tonight we're going to be getting

into spooky season, spooky decor, spooky lifestyle. How do we get into it? How do we love it even more? Check me out, Twitch.tv. forward slash holdinators ho. And I do a stream with Jackie every Friday called Jackin' with the Holdies.

And I'm also getting back on my Monday, Tuesday stream schedule as well. It's more of a pop-up situation right now, but very soon, regularly we'll be streaming on Mondays and Tuesdays to. And Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Please check it out. It is so, so helpful to us, live our lives and keep this show going. There's so much bonus content on there. It's not even funny. Just really give it a look. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. I'm back to Wend Talking TV these days as well, which is nice because I'm watching a lot of TV. Oh, so much. I agree, MJ.

It's too much. We have too many options. It's so good. It's all so good. And that's it from me. Isn't that terrifying? Mm-hmm. My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKat on Instagram.

Oh. Have a beautiful week. Italians in a space. Let's get out of here. It was like Pigs in Space, I guess. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.