Page 7 - Ep. 420: Milking Flesh

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

This week Jackie is comin' in H A W T with a double song intro and we're gossin' 'bout the finer points of breast milk (AGAIN), the looming IATSE strike and it's possible impact on the never ending flow of Hallmark Christmas Movies, what Lindsay Lohan has been up too (including her Furry NFT and plenty more), Andrew Lloyd Webber getting a dog to deal with the emotional trauma of Cats (2019), the all star 2022 Super Bowl Halftime Show lineup and the nostalgia it brings forth, Tom Cruise loses his Space Race with the Russians, MJ's possible Magnum Opus "Forget Me Scott". And in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Did Pete Davidson and John Mulaney switch bodies!?Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Springheel Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, re-bring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. So I'm going to start off the show strong. Full disclosure, I am hungover. Full disclosure yesterday was some of our best friends, Eddie Larson's 40th birthday. And full disclosure, what did I have stuck in my head that I sang throughout the entire steak dinner I had last night? Turn the mound. Cardiac arresting. Oh, my God.

Put it in. Cardiac arrested. And yes, I didn't come up with the second line because I needed to put the steak into my mouth and I apologize for all of you, um, vegetarians out there and you vegans out there, but you know what? Mar-on! It was delicious. And, uh, welcome to page seven. I am a shell of a human being, but that's kind of fun. And no kids around, so there's no reason for it. Welcome. And she really is right now a giant walking, talking shell.

I love, don't shock me, please. But there aren't pearls inside of her. It's just little, like droplets of tequila. It's very upset. Oh, but sometimes they like, they fissure together and then they make little like, I don't know, rainbows. But much like an oyster.

On the inside, it's like, it's, it's, fleshy. Wet and fleshy. But it's also fantastic and breathtaking. Squirty bird. It does, what,

I didn't mean that in a sexual way. Talk about my pussy? You can if you want to. You can talk about my pussy if you want to. You can rub my pussy lip. A two opening songs for the Bob Pence. Unbelievable.

I can't. Oh, y'all, I'll touch her my lips. Yeah, it's the same line again. Whoa. Hi, MJ. Hi. I mean, I'm psyched, for one. I'm the opposite of hungover.

I guess the opposite of hungover might be drunk. I'm not that either. I'm sober. It's like late the day where I am. You guys have a different energy. You guys have like morning hangover energy. I've got like, it's late. I just finished a day of close.

class energy, and so I can't wait for our energies to collide. Yeah, we're going to see. We are going to see what happens. I got so drunk last night, I took a morning pill. I don't know why. Whoa. I don't know why I did it. What about your night pills?

Do you take pills at night? Do you guys have a pill regimen? Do you have a nightly pill regimen? Indica edible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least five milligrams. Absolutely, Jackie. And they got the sleepy time ones.

I actually need to go get those. But yes, for sure, I definitely will slam. This is why LA. All you L.A. people have your THC and CBD regimens down to a fucking science. Like out here in New York, it's still the Wild West. It's legal, but it's like there's not, you know, Jackie comes in from, for Marcus's wedding. And she's like, well, at 9 a.m., I take the following milligrams of CBD. 10 a.m., I take the following milligrams of THC.

I'm like, I want to medicalize and systematize my intoxication. That sounds great. Oh my God, I would have changed your whole situation, MJ, with the newborn, because microdosing, you know, oh no, am I scared of the world with this infant in my hands? Pop a little five million. I do hate to ask this because of your history, Holden, but does it get in the milk? Yeah, fat's soluble. Lexi, I've been trying to get Lexi, you know, or not trying to because I'm waiting, but I do think Lexi could benefit from some microdosing and maybe help her with. sleep at night, but no, she cannot.

I think it stays in there worse, like, way worse than, like, alcohol. Because alcohol just doesn't stay in your body, it just is in your blood. You can drink your alcoholic milk, like Holden loves to. Yeah, drink her alcohol. She did. The pregs, the post-pregs went out last night with us

and all were well lubricated. Scary. Of course, we also have the alcohol test strips, and it was very funny because Lexi and Cosmo were sharing, you know, Lexi was like, here's the link to get the test strips. She doesn't have the test strips, which might mean she's drinking considerably less than Lexi, but that's fine. Okay, Lexi's very responsible with it, and she uses the test strips.

I never even heard of test strips. Yeah, it tests for alcohol content in the milk so that, you know, because sometimes she'll have. Also testing for Holden's tongue, like, secretions because she's worried, she wakes up in the middle of the night. His tongue is just in the bottle. She's like, Holden. I don't know, I don't, yeah, that's my favorite way to do it. It's called fucking Thunkin' Dunkin' Dunkin' Duncans is what I call it. and I have those with myself.

But look, we're talking not about me. We're talking about Alexis and her alcohol testes. And her abstention from THC currently whilst breastfeeding, which, you know, I know plenty of people who also did smoke while breastfeeding. I think there's a best practices, you know, but it's one of these things where it's like no one's, it's not going to be like baby smoking a big old blunt.

Although maybe the baby is a blunt. Have you thought about it? I would love to get baby a fucking blunt for nights, for sure. Guys, sometimes, I even said it a lot. I was like, I wish it was the 50s again. I wish we could put fucking whiskey in this baby. No, you put it on the nipple.

She goes, you put whiskey on the nipple. And I will say, for a while, I did think that I just met, like, my mom was putting, like, that you put whiskey on your nipples. And also, kind of fun. Yeah. And maybe you should just try it just for, like, fun. Yeah, maybe it just be fun.

And go, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I've nursed two babies and had to have surgery. And it makes me cringe to think of putting whiskey on my nipples. It sounds very burning. Oh, come on, you haven't heard the old Irish jaunt. A whiskey on the nipple. Make the day go long. It's like a Riverdale episode.

This is a musical episode today. It's going to be a lot. That's a hungover thing, right? Is there another musical episode in the season finale a musical? Don't worry. No, don't worry. Don't worry. I didn't mean to scare you, MJ.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Also, I don't want to fucking cry until I die, which is apparently what Riverdale musicals make you want to do lately. You heard. You heard you heard how sad and angry we were last year. I heard it's just sad and bad and mad. Extremely sad and angry.

No one needs to pick me up these days. So let's make the Riverdale episode sad. KJ. Appa shouldn't have even taken part of it, new dad KJ. We're like KJ. Kappa. Yeah. You heard it here first. Holden here.

He sucks a bunch of fucking fucking whatever. Yeah, no, there's a couple bummers that have been floating around lately. I'm not talking about just every single moment of everyone's lives coming. I am talking about. talking about the things that are happening in Bob culture. And if you are familiar with what's going on in Hollywood right now,

there's big discussions of a big Ayatzi strike, which there definitely needs to be. I will say I'm speaking for all of us. There we all support the strike. Yes. If the crews you'd strike, it is like I live with two crew people. It is insane conditions of which they have to work every day.

But part of this, which I love, is that people can take anything that could be, I know. It's going to put all productions to a dead halt as it fucking should. What is Ayatzi exactly just for our listeners and actually low-key kind of me, even though I should probably already know this, because I'm in the industry. It's the crew union. And I'm just being bad. For all like that's just a short, like short stick that I give you. It's like the ones that protect the crew people that work on, and I'm speaking from off the cuff right now,

but of sets and just production in general. And it covers a, birth of different factions of production members as well and it is, it's just like if you've ever worked on a film set before you know that like, yes, it is long crazy hours, but the crew work they have to be, they are the first there, they are the

last to leave, they are the ones that have to be there at all times, they work through their mandatory breaks. Like with, even with SAG and stuff like that, you have to take, they don't give a shit, they're like, take the break. Yeah. You got to go. You got to go do the thing.

You're like, we're in like in the middle of it. It doesn't matter. So Ayatzi is finally, you know, coming to protect them. Yeah. And so the vote just went through of essentially authorizing the strike. At least that is where it is currently.

But then I looked at this article that was just like, but is this strike going to cancel Christmas? What's fucking talking about? This is the most selfish thing I've ever fucking right in my life. And they're like, But there's so many lifetime and homework movies that haven't been finished yet, which also we all know a lot of them are created in Canada. So it's like that's a different ballgame altogether.

But what a selfish thing to say. Oh, we'll have to watch one from last year as if it's not going to be the exact same one as the one they're going to fucking make this year. Let the people strike. Let the people have livable working conditions. Yes. So that I can, I will honestly, some years I have watched the same lifetime movie, I'll turn it on, and I know I've seen it before, and I leave it on, because what do I can?

I have no, I am no remembrance of like, what is, what is happening in this? I don't need a new lifetime movie. It gave me anxiety earlier looking at all the new ones coming out, because I have weird anxiety about, like, not being able to stop, like a sink from, you know, pouring water, like a toilet from overflowing. And I kind of got the same vibe from looking at all these different movies that seem like the same movies as last year, and I'm just like, it is an overflowing, They just keep making them and they're all the same They just won't stop it

Won't somebody quit them Make them quit? They're the same plot They're filming the same town They have the same actors It's I mean it's again This is why the strike Is a perfect timing

Because we literally do not need more Again I'll watch You need 41 this season 41 just from Lifetime alone We don't need 41 We don't need 41 And Netflix is trying to do it too Netflix is all

putting out their own Hallmark Lifetime Style movie and I'm like, excuse me, the whole point is that it's from the creepy Christian channels, you know? And apparently if you make five of the exact same movie, you have to yell, Ayatzi! Li Yatsi! That's our hands. Right?

Am I right? Come on that one for a while. I like it, Holden. Also, I did miss speak earlier. It also does include a lot of production films from live theater as well. Which is another, like, everybody works so, it's just, it's insane. And yes, they need to have livable working conditions. But, yeah, but what are we going to do?

Don't worry, what we will have is, I forgot until Holden, which we're going to get into, sent us this article about Lindsay Lohan and what she's been up to. But don't worry there. You know, we don't have to. There will be a Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie coming out on Netflix this year. Don't worry. I know we're begging for it. But it will.

That was done. So we don't have to worry. Oh, thank God. Aezi strike. Go ahead. Go give it a strike. I'm honestly looking at the Lindsay Lohan article and it's as if it's in another language. All right.

Let's talk about the space article because it may as well be from space. All right. So this was actually in the blind items. And I was like, I don't think this is a, exactly. There's no way I could like do the blind item on this because you guys are just to be like, What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I feel like Tim Allen. And there are three key factors to this article,

and that is Lindsay Lohan. Furries, we all know and we love them, all right? People dress up like the mascots that create their fursona, you know what I mean? They kind of dress up almost like you would see a sports mascot, but usually they're different animals. And NFTs, you know, a classic, ambiguous, to the co-hosts on this show.

NFTs, something that I, you know, I explained it essentially. It's like a digital work of art. It is, I know. No fucking turtles, please. They are too small. You must keep them away from your genitals. I wish, I'm sure, Linselaide's fucked a couple turtles in their life. I mean, they got those little tails.

But yeah, so, but this was a blind because apparently it's a giant, this company is a giant scam. company that she's a part of now. She's always promoting stuff. You know what I mean? She's always on the... You can't knock the hustle. She's like fucked up Kim Kardashian. You know what I mean?

She's always got a hustle going on. And in this one, it is furry-based NFTs. And she's got a fursona. The funniest thing about it is I see y'all an article of the backlash because, like, the furry community, which is very intense. And there's, you know, it's a very tightneck room. and they're very, you know, it's, they're, they're aggressive. Yeah, but they are a patient and supportive community until someone decides to like, like,

dip a toe into it and be like, no, I'm a part of the first zone. It's like, Lindsay Lemon, do you, are you aware of like, of what you're doing or is it just like, now, I'm just like doing this thing. Right. Because, again, I don't understand. I was reading an article about NFTs earlier that, like, people are big into, like, digital cocaine. And this is where my eyes glaze over because I'm just like, I don't.

But have I hit the threshold age of just, I don't get it. I don't understand it. If there's digital cocaine, then I'm requesting for the world to have that eyeball drug from the movie Looper. Looper. If we're going to have one, I got to have the other. So yeah, she's got a Fersona NFT. And she teamed up with K9 cartel. And the funny thing is this NFT, and that's what kind of blows my mind about certain NFTs that I see,

where I would assume that the image would be like really cool. You know what I mean? And like in this case especially, it's like, it's pretty shitty art. It's like a bad persona. They're like, you can't just have the ears. Yeah. You know what I mean?

This is a blue-eyed ginger pomeranian who somehow has freckles. And the current highest bid is for 0.51 Ethereum. Now that made- Oh, see, that's when I was just like, what are they talking about? What is Ethereum? What do you mean? And they're like, oh, 0.5 Ethereum, that's about $1,500.

My head explodes. I don't understand. Pennies, dimes, pints. If you could say, I understand pounds way more than Ethereum. What is it? And then I think of Palladium, MJ. Yes, I was going to say. Is Riverdale coming to life.

Sounds like Palladium. Like, we learned that Palladium is actually a real precious metal, not something that Riverdale made up. By the way, it is now up to 1.1 Ethereum. which is $3,925. I'm not going to do that conversion every time. This picture sucks. Like, even if you're not into the furry community,

which, yes, it is a bad representation of a furry because it's lacking a lot of the qualities, such as the big fun ears and things like that that you normally would get with a fursona. Not only that, it just doesn't look good. Someone's paying $3,000. I get it's one-of-a-kind, But it's also fucking Lindsay fucking Lohan.

I mean, what's the world? Honestly, even underneath, I opened up another article as I was trying to learn more about it. The thing, like the headlines about NFTs. It's just like free clip art of cartoon rock is selling for $300,000 on as NFT. What? Why? Am I just, is it just that like I've been poor for such a long time? Then I'm like, why would you ever spend?

For what? For something that's not tangible? But I get, like at least, I guess something. about that confuses me about the amount of Ethereum they're spending on Lindsay Lohan is that that's not even that much money for a work of art. $300,000 for a work of art actually like that's what people pay for art.

Yes. Right. Lindsay Lohan making something that's getting bought for $3,000 is like a little bit insulting. But the fact that it's trash looking and like not even acceptable to the community it's made for. Yeah, it's kind of shady. I mean, I'm looking at the freckles on this fucking picture and they're

terrible. It's just, it looks so slapdash. What is that background. I mean, what are we doing here? I mean, this is so crazy that this would sell for $3,000 $3,000.25. It's not even like something someone made in the physical realm. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's so crazy, Lindsay, but I can't knock the hustle. I can knock the hustle. Lindsay. She has a podcast coming out soon, guys. Yes. Lunge your butts. Because she's coming for our jobs. The ultimate eye roller is I have one coming out in some point in the fucking vague future.

But no, there's no explanation of what it is. It is just that I know this is all like a built up to it. It's just that come see a side of Lindsay that you've never seen before. And I think I made this joke of just like, I don't know if I want to see it. If I haven't seen it by now, I don't know if I want to see it. She's the ultimate, if she wasn't a celebrity,

she'd be the ultimate person you get stuck with at an L.A. party. She's like, I have a podcast coming. I don't know what it's about and it's going to be out some time later but it's going to be it's going to change the world

also I have an NFT a furry persona because of living in Los Angeles I feel like I'd be like oh yeah and I'm like but like we've been doing it for like a really long time

I don't know does that make it better no it doesn't I just hide my shame I hide by shame in the same way which I did not send it to you guys because it just came out a couple of hours ago

talk about shame Andrew Lloyd Weber hated the cast movie so much he went out of and bought a dog. He had never wanted a dog before. Maybe he heard Holden, maybe he heard about us going to Holden's birthday, dressed as dogs, and he was like, you know what, you're right.

Dogs. You're right. Dogs. Why did I write cats when I should have been thinking about dogs? Way of the futures. Well, dogs would be boring in a sense because they would just be like, they're the best, better than cats, really easy to deal with, and they love you. You know what I mean?

And that's it. It's over, you know? I do love this line, though, and you're going to get hate mail for your, for your cat hate holding. I do love Andrew Lloyd Webber said, I rode off and said so he got this dog, first time he's ever had a dog in his life. He said, in my 70 odd

years on this planet, I never wanted the dog, but I got a dog because of cats. And he wanted the dog to travel with him and he called the airline and said, I have to bring the dog. He said, I'm emotionally damaged. And I must have this therapy dog. And he said, the airline wrote back, I'm sorry,

he wrote them a letter. And the airline wrote back and said, can you prove that you really need him? And I said, yes, just see what Hollywood did to my musical cats. Then the approval came back with a note saying, no doctor's report required. Wow. Okay, but. Amazing.

I love that. I love this. I do love this. But just to go into the actual cat corner, the movie cats and the animal cat, it is not a Vendai. The Venn diagram are two separate circles. Those people aren't cats. What they do in that movie, they're not cats. Cats aren't that annoying.

They aren't that monstrous. It is a bad rap to cats. So Andrew Lloyd Weber, honestly, you could just go to a fucking cat shelter and rehabilitate your image of cats. Don't watch your own shitty. I would love to set up. A public movie. It would be MJ on one side and Holden on the other side. I'm firmly in the middle.

I'll be very good as a middle ground person. And I think that we should, I just want to hear the debates of cats v. dogs. Because you know what? Tale is oldest time. And I think we need to get back to the basics in this country. I'll fucking defend some dogs against some cats and I'll also fucking throw a coin to some frogs.

I think frogs are even better than having some fucking fucked up cats. I'm pro dog. I like a dog. I have had, I literally got a Jack Russell Terrier as a child because of the movie. My dog Skip. It was the dog from Frazier. So I'm pro dog. It was the same exact actor from

Frazier and my dog Skip. And yes, his name was Moose. You mean when everybody got that dog, when that was just the dog, everyone got the Jack Russell Terrier? Yes. And then they all gave them back to their shelters because they were like, this dog is

absolutely a very hard dog to raise. I didn't do that. Yeah, it's not a professionally trained TV dog. No shit, general public. Yes, it was also wishbone. The Jack Russell did have a real rise in the late 90s. Are you calling me basic, Holden? Are you saying that at a moment?

No. Chug! Calling you Starbucks. Chug! Well, I still have a picture of someone in our beautiful, amazing Twitch community who sent it a picture of their new baby bulldog. Yes, I'm talking about you, Tilly that I know that you're listening. And I kept the picture.

And I told them this, because we put up pictures in our collage sometimes. And I kept the picture of the baby bulldog so that I could look at it when I I was sad. And I was full disclosure, because usually I immediately get rid of the pictures. I'm sorry, but I can't get rid of the picture

of the baby bulldog. And also right next to the baby bulldog was a little squeaky toy and it was a blunt. And that means it's my favorite dog. I love that. That's cute. That's scary.

I just love other people's dogs. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sounds like you're not going to be very impartial in the debate, Jackie. I am going to be impartial. I love cats too. Do you love my cats? Whatever.

No one cat you like. I love manface. Thank you. Good job naming a cat. I love Garfield. I did name the cat. I do live with two cats. I don't like those cats, but there's reasons why I like those cats.

Many people don't like the cats they live with. I don't like those cats. It's just other people. The only cat I've ever liked is like, I think was kind of brain dead. It would just sort of like lay there. Layla? Are you talking about Layla? Layla was the best cat because she was big and fat.

She just loved a lick. Yeah, exactly. Dude, I'd fucking take a snake over a cat, bro. I love snakes. It makes me so sad because likes me so afraid of snakes. I love, they're great. They just squirm around on your hands

and they're all the, they're all muscle. Ooh, yeah, don't get me too fucking. Ooh, what are you talking about the Dune trailer? Uh-oh. Oh. Yes, I did talk about the Benny Jesuit during the last Twilight chapter that I recorded. So look at me, I'm a bit of a Dune baby.

Space switches. Got to get ready. Well, yeah, because they've got these like the mother hens that never come out of the vampire tower and they're just like floating behind all of them and was like, see, that's badass. Now they need to pair up with the Benny Cheserat and then they can take over the world.

I'll take it. Right? See, I'm here and I am such a nerd girl. What else nerdy can I talk about? Oh, the Super Bowl, doubt it. Rocks for jocks much. Dude. We are going to talk about the halftime.

show, though, because this halftime show looks amazing and it's so funny, the people that are upset about the Super Bowl 2020. The people are upset about it. I will say I spent the better part of my time visiting Florida in a certain dive bar that I would kind of love to be a fly in the wall of during that. If you went to Whitey's Fish Camp in Jacksonville and asked them what they thought about, the Super Bowl 2022 halftime, which is going to be Dr. Dre, Kendrick, Marr, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, and Snoop Dog, which fucking

amazing. Incredible line. I'm so hype for this fucking halftime show. I don't know this. I've even stopped watching it even just for the commercials and I'll just watch it online because I am a millennial. But I will watch this half-time show this. Oh, we'll watch it together, balls and we'll put a helmet on the baby. This is so cool. I can't believe they got Kendrick. I can't play Kendrick.

agreed to it. I feel like Eric's just going to be like oozing contempt for the entire thing as he does it. I was just trying to remember, I was like, did they do a deep pandemic Super Bowl? And then I remembered it was the weekend. And everybody was like, yeah, it was so whatever. The weekend was like the cold play returns. They might have, well, you know what I mean? It's just very like not an non-issue.

It's like, it's just about like trying to find things that fit in with the Super Bowl. and I think that, I think it really makes a lot of sense to, like, go towards, and I don't know if they're going to do it. And it's going to be an Englewood this year. And I'm very excited about that. I guess I'm not excited about that. Although I will say last year before the pandemic when I was in Miami during the Super Bowl and I didn't give a shit, we were able to go to the Everglades and one of those fan boats very easily. No one was at the fanboats. We had the fan boat by herself. So that's kind of nice. Yeah, I even, it's kind of amazing this happened because the last podcast and the left show in L.A. was the other day. And I got to open that up with Jackie and I did drink a giant thing of breast milk.

I think it was a double batch. I can't believe how much. MJ, he drank the entire bottle. Oh, I saw it. I saw it. Several ounces. I'm just. And it was real breast milk. You know, I could have just put just cows milk in there.

No one would have known the difference. But I. But the people who know, no. If you know, you know. And I just can't believe you're drinking all that breast milk. It's delicious. There's nutrients. Yeah, but I would have...

I become incredibly strong, MJ, when I drink it. I ran from the venue to Hollywood Boulevard and back. And during the show, I felt so strong and beautiful. And did you take this from your child because it was too alcoholic to give to the child? Is that why? And yes, it was the boozy milk. Yes. And we've been over this.

That's fine. boozy milk the child cannot have. Right? So everyone's like, oh, you're depriving your baby of the milk. First of all, um, come on guys.

We're producing a lot over here, right? We're producing here, okay? As if you're also just like, like, I just imagine you just being like cheerleader next to Lex be like, yeah, squeeze it. Yeah, pump.

Get it. Yeah. Give me that pump, pump. While I take a dump. Duh. She's not actually taking a shit while she's pumping. You know? But,

that is all besides the point, okay? What were we just, oh yeah, on the way home from the venue, you know, all right, let me, let me set a little scene for y'all. Paint us a picture. Let me set a little scene. You've already said a pretty vivid scene with the breast milk chugging, but I'm ready for another scene. Let me just start this story with the widest scenario I could paint for you.

Young Holden McNeely. I may be eighth grade, middle school, ninth grade, high school, goes to lacrosse camp at UNC Chapel Hill in North Carolina. It is a sleepover camp. We're staying in the dorms, feeling like what it might be to go to college for the first time ever. Kind of cool, right?

Then I was like, I snuck out. I don't even think we were supposed to be on this part of campus. I snuck out, went to Franklin Street. They had a really cool CD store there. I walked into the CD store and I looked around and something caught my eye. And that was Dr. Dre's The Chronic.

And I was like, ooh, I hope the cool kid at the front lets me buy this because it was a parental advisory. And I was definitely too young to be able to buy it without a parent present. And that college kid let me buy it. I took it home. My roommate was asleep. I had a roommate.

We were in dorms. I threw it on my disc man in the dark, put on my headphones, and listen to that album front to back. And my mind was fucking blown for it. It was such a crazy, like, pivotal moment in my life, listening to this fucking album in the dark, in this fucking dorm room at lacrosse camp, right?

So cut to, I went on my way home from last podcast. It was like I'm driving and I forget that you can, you know, put on one of your favorite old school albums and enjoy like a ride home. I put on that chronic. It took me right back to that time of my life. Dr. Dre. You're a little buzzed on alcoholic breast milk. I'm a little buzz on alcoholic breast. I'm swerving around a little bit.

I'm swerving. I'm doing donuts. I'm eating donuts. Would you get those donuts hold in? want the donuts. I'm saying every other word of the lyrics because, you know, I can't say certain ones, right? No, I don't know what you mean. You know what I mean? I didn't say the words in the car, Jackie. What do you mean? Don't say the words in the car, Jack. No. I can't say the words even in the car jack. No, you shouldn't. And I'm glad that you don't. But I do love, I forget about

I love it so much. Car Life, you forget of like being able to put on just like a really loud album. Yes. I was doing that with Sweet Art of the Rodeo because Ed reminded me of the documentary about grandpersons when they were all doing a bunch of drugs that died and his body was going to be sent back to his parents and a bunch of Hell's Angels went and stole the coffin with the body inside, drove it out to the desert by Joshua Tree and lit the whole thing on fire because he had said that he wanted to be cremated in the desert. So then I wouldn't listen to The Sweetheart of the Rodeo. And then the guy didn't realize that like cremation isn't just setting someone on fire. That's not how it works. That actually comes with a lot of problems. Whereas there's a professional method.

It's very bad. Man, these two stories combined are really interesting. I just wanted to provide like a dynamic here. Yeah, yeah. So. MJ, any upsetting to, do you want to throw anything into the mix? MJ, did you have any, were y'all the same as me? You know, I mean, I definitely lived that private school boy life where my buddy would

pick me up in his little. cool little car and we'd blast music that culturally could not have been more estranged from us, but we just wanted so bad to like connect, you know, and do it. I mean, this is, Dre, Snoop Talk, Eminem. I mean, and then just Kendrick as a part of it is just this ultimate. And shout-outes to Mary J. Blige. I'm just so excited about this show. Like, this is the greatest thing ever.

It just takes me back. And Lamar, they're like, they're all from L.A., right? So it's also like, I think that's part of it. Big L.A. moments. Really fucking cool. Yeah. I did not really listen to hip hop until I went to college. And I went to public school.

We definitely drove around in our car and called it cruising. But I don't know. But I feel like that, in hindsight, cruising is really more about sort of like getting pieces of ass or whatever. And is that what you were doing, MJB? I wish it had been gay cruising. I truly do. But no, we would call it cruising the strip, quote unquote.

And you would drive back and forth on the, you know, the highway that had like the Pizza Hut, the Ponderosa, the Little Caesars. It was kind of a pizza row. The mall, you know, so you would go, that was the, that was to cruise the strip. But no, I mean, definitely there were people in Dubu Kaua listening to what we, what they would have, we, the white people of Dubu Kewa would have called quote unquote gangsta rap at the time. But I did not get into hip hop until college. And when I did, I was like, wow, like I am with all cultural experiences. I'm like, this is fantastic. And I wish I had found this sooner.

It was just one of many things I wish I had found sooner. I didn't say the word in the car that night. Yeah, right. You sound like a lot like a Tom Cruise naysayer. I did not put my penis in those gills. You get it? Guys, it's Jackie. It wasn't, I wasn't Bill Clinton.

I'm watching impeachment. I'm so behind on impeachment, but I am caught up on many states of Newark, and I know it's not talking TV, but we got to, I just want to talk about, we'll have to schedule a non-recorded Zoom call to talk about it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you want to have friendship? No, MJ. Work is love, MJ. I don't have, I don't have love without work. And I'm like, always recording. And impeachment, I'm so excited about impeachment, but my problem is that I keep falling asleep.

It takes me several nights to, and also it's October, so it's spooky season, and my husband only likes alien spookers. So we've watched Close and Contr's the Third Client, and we just watched The Thing. I love it. And it's great, but I'm behind on my impeachment. We watched Many Saints of Newark, which is great, but I'm very behind on my impeachment. I just want sexy 90s. If you need any alien horror movie recommendations, though, you just, you just. Just let me know.

Like, if you want some that maybe Giddy doesn't know about, I would love to give you additions. That would be cool. I could be like the cool. I could be like, ooh, you want to watch one that is new? That's new. So new one that you haven't seen and just like blow his mind. I think he wants to just watch the ones from his childhood that terrified him.

And the aliens are fine, but they don't scare me. The thing didn't scare me. Oh, the thing didn't scare you. No, I mean, it was gross. But it's not like... Like isolation things scare me of like where would they even go? You know, like that, honestly, the idea of that is even scarier.

Well, maybe not scarier than all the tentacles coming out of the dog. Spoiler alert. Oh! No, that was your... Should I leave that out? Should I make it shouldn't say that. I'm sorry. My takeaway from the thing is that I am now scared of Antarctica.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be, and people literally are there right now in a very tiny space. Just live in day. to day, like, I don't get it. They fuck like crazy, apparently. They just cover the walls with cum. Did you make that?

No, they do. Apparently, there was an article I read recently. Nealistical about, like, the many things that happened in those little spaces. And apparently just, like, dirty fuck sex happens, like, constantly. It's like a pornographic. They have, like, a pizza guy uniform that they pass around. I mean, maybe that's what they're going to be making in space. We lost the space race. and I don't know what it's going to mean for us as a country,

but I'm not talking about, yes, did you guys like all my communism jokes that I made in the page 7 email? No, Tom Cruise, if you guys remember, Tom Cruise was trying to go against the Russians that were trying to also go to space to make the first movie that parts of it were shot in space, and he failed. And he was too busy slipping around on all the juices coming out of the fish.

Yeah, maybe don't, you know, have the space race led by a known fish fucker. I don't care how attracted he is or how dedicated he is to his weird, creepy cult that he's secretly trying to get out of, which is what the blinds say lately. But, you know. But aren't they trying to send William Shatner to space to? William Shatner, did William Shatner beat the Tom Cruise in the space race? No, but I do love that he is on his, he will be hitting space as well, apparently,

via one of the evil billionaires. He's quote unquote thrilled and frightened. That's the two words. I don't think I could do it. I couldn't do it. I guess have we asked this question to the rounds before? I think we have talked about this before. Okay, I was about to say.

We're on space and you can't make me. Absolutely not. No way. Especially after watching Aniara, if you think that you're like, I 100% want to go to space and I know that I can't shake you. Aniara is the, I think, the movie that now I think about, which you know when you just watch, it was one of those quarantine movies that I watched that I think about every other week. And it lives in my brain. And it's, um, essentially,

for all intents and purposes, the summary is just like, when it's like become normal to go back and forth that there's like a shuttle, like spaceship that goes, essentially like a cruise ship, it goes back and forth between Earth and I believe it was Mars. Like a Jitney? Like the Hampton's Jitney? Kind of like that. That it's just like, oh, you just a three hour trip. And then an asteroid hits it off track and, like, all the fuel comes out of the spaceship. And then it's just forever being sent because, you know, it's not going to stop. There's nothing to stop it. And they're like, we don't know how long we're going to be floating out into space where we have no communication with anyone.

They can come out and find us, but we have, like, until we can find a planet that we can get to and, like, get into its orbit to turn around, that's all we can hope for. That's it. And I watched this movie and I was, talk about a movie that like doesn't even have like not really that much of violence or anything. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you're afraid of Antarctica, take Antarctica but put it in fucking space. Like the idea, what I learned from the thing is that I don't want to be, I don't even think I can ever live anywhere that's not New York City.

I don't want to be more than 10 minutes away from a hospital, you know, like ever. Like the idea of being in space, what if something goes wrong? you ain't coming back. No. Right. No. Absolutely not. But William Shatner,

he's lived a good life. Send him up there. Tom Cruise, he's lived a bad life, but he can go up to it. He can go up there. He can get up there. And also, nothing's going to happen to Tom Cruise

because he's Tom Cruise and he has like a million people that, like, stare at him when he puts his penis inside of the fish's gills, I would assume. I know what he does. I know he slides it in and out of the fish until he ejaculates all over its guts.

We know this. We know this. We need to keep this. at the forefront of everyone's minds. It's not the gills, I thought. I thought we decided it was the mouth. Is it the mouth? But don't they have little charred?

Don't they have little teeth? But aren't the gills covered in scales? Yeah, but I mean, just consider this. I mean, when you first started getting your jollies off, whether it was college or whatever, you know, that first person who you were in a regular relationship with having needs. When you're not married, so. Never, right?

When you're having many sexual experiences with someone for the first time, Yeah, you might start with one orifice, but eventually you're going to slide to another. It's inevitable. So whether you start with the mouth, you're going to get to the gills. You're going to get to, dare I say, the fish is anus, which I assume exists. What about its belly button? Do fish have belly buttons? I doubt fish have belly button.

I think the birthing process is quite different. But where did the eggs come out from then? But maybe the eggs come out of their belly button. Maybe I might fuck a fish egg. I couldn't put that away from them. If you really needed to know, and I know that you're still begging and I forgot to tell you guys that the Lindsay Lohan romantic Christmas comedy is about her being a newly engaged and spoiled hotel heiress who finds herself in the care of a handsome blue collar

lodge owner and his precocious daughter after getting total amnesia in a skiing accident. Yes, I will watch it and yes, I will hate it. This is my idea. I have a whole pitch about a person who gets amnesia in a skiing accident. Really? It's such a good pitch. I'm not even going to say it here because I don't want somebody to take it. I should probably say it. It is utilizing the amnesia to basically the premises that somebody,

it's based on a real letter that came into Savage Love like in 2010 or something. I used to solicit Savage Love in 2010. It's one of the original your fame is problematic. But, well, anyway, if you break up with somebody and then they get amnesia, from a skiing accident, then what happens? Do you tell them after they come out of the coma that you broke up with them or do you let them ride it out? And that is the premise of my movie.

And it sounds like Lindsay Lohan stole it. We'll call it 50 first dates. It's actually called Forget Me Scott. This is a bit that John and I used to do back when we were still doing, you know, performing on stage together. And we really are very good at coming up with romantic comedy pitches. And we like, it's like something that we're passionate about. We had a whole, we had the whole three-act structure laid out.

But now Lindsay Lowen beat me to it. Got right in there. Got right in there and took it right out of your hands from 10 years ago. Yes. No, you have to say it. You have to say it aloud, you know, because maybe someone who's like, I want to fully fund, forget me Scott. Yes.

If you are a movie producer and you trust me to write Forget Me Scott with my brother that we did sketch out roughly 11 years ago. Probably we have the notes in one of my comedy notebooks somewhere unless I dropped them in a toilet at a bar in the East Village. I could tell you the whole plot of the movie and maybe it involves pretending that you didn't break up with Scott so that you don't break his heart right after he comes out of the coma. But then in the process of waiting until you can tell him that you broke up with him,

you fall in love with him again. Or you think that he's actually an assassin and you kill him in your sleep and then you forget that you did it. That's, forget me Scott, too. Forget me, Scott, too. That will be the sequel because the amnesia just doesn't go away

because you fall in love and then you become a murderer. Yeah, yeah. I know who killed me, so I did have to look up, I know who killed me. I was like, didn't she already do another amnesia movie, but I know who killed me, I forgot. she chose to be, or actually you don't know, is she lying? Did she choose it after she was kidnapped and had with some sadistic. No, I remember you made me watch that movie for an

episode of pop history on the Razies. It was unfortunate. Great movie. I've definitely seen I know who killed me at least twice. You know what's fucking crazy about talking about Lindsay Lowhan so much this episode is my conspiracy theory, celebrity conspiracy. rather for this episode is very parent trap-esque. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Did Pete Davidson and John Mullaney

switch bodies? Whoa. Think about it. Fucking think about it. Gross. Cover them tattoos. Yeah. I mean, they've gotten very good

at the fake tattoos nowadays. Uh-oh. Squirt, squirt. Looks like y'all got shot with some truth juice. Oh, ugh. Is that fucking interesting? Is it just breast milk-holded?

That's my penis. Like from a bottle of truth juice. I feel like you've got bottles and you're like pruning out like you're like Billy the kid. You're like scort, score, scourd, scour, scour, scorn. Like, ah, no, not the milk. I would never waste the milk on another. Thank you.

Don't give milk to another. That doesn't even make you sad. Wait, so when you chug the milk, you're not wasting it because you need it. I'm getting nutrients. MJ, he's getting nutrients. And those nutrients help me become a better father. Plus, I'm more connected to my baby. Oh, that's why he does it.

That's true. Yeah. is when we look at each other's eyes, now we can communicate telepathically, which is pretty fun. That's very scary. And they're always like, you're such a good comedian.

I'm like, thank you, Winnie. That's very nice if you say, you're very funny. Is that your baby voice? Do you have your baby voice yet? No, a little bit. We don't do too much of that. Yeah, it's just, you know, no.

Instead, she just goes, yeah, ah, yeah. Yes. At this point, the cutest noise. The cutest little noise. And this is the, cutest little conspiracy. All right. Hit us. This one comes in from Ariel who says, hey, fam, I just found this TikTok and thought it was something you'd love to talk about, even if it's not meaty enough to be a

full-fledged segment. Well, it is, Ariel. I made it one. Wow. I somehow drew it out to become a full one. Love it. It explains so much about how out of character, all the Jamalini stuff has been, and why we haven't heard anything about Pete Davidson in a while. I have to say, I believe it, in all capital letters with an exclamation point. So if that's not, doesn't convince you already, you might as well change all the clocks in your house. You think it's a different time all the time. Here's the thing.

You're always late. Shepard me, Ariel. I'll listen to you, whatever you tell me. Yeah, you're late, Jackie. Does I mean I'm going to have a baby too and then all three of us will have babies? Yes. Please, please join us.

It does feel like I'm surrounded by cult members. now. Fuck the fish. Joy, the baby cult. Not until I find out where I gotta put it. You know, before, I need a little bit more information first. So shoutouts to TikTok user

Begritz writes, B. Gris writes, rather, aka Becca the writer who posted a video explaining the theory which states that John Malini and Pete Davidson switched bodies back in early 2019. Here is the evidence. And don't let it blow your fucking minds too much.

It's probably going to. Too late. Melani and Davidson went on tour together and did a show where they switched outfits in February of 2019. Is that fucking nuts? There's a picture of it and everything. And that would be the point at which they switched. And the idea is that they would do that for one year. They switched outfits and then it switched their bodies, right?

Like in a parent-trap-esque way. And then they were like, wait, let's stay this way for one year in order for Pete Davidson to help repair his image. Because at that point, and, you know, he'd been congo. going through a lot of stuff. Big Dick energy, you know. And with that evil woman, the witch woman that made, probably put a curse on him, you know. Ariana, right, she's evil.

And we all know it. Taylor's better. Don't even say her name in this show. Oh, more like Ariana Vinty. Wow, Starbucks. Donut liquor. Oh my God. She did lick that donut, didn't she?

She did weirdly lick that donut. Why would you do that? I don't know. Yeah, only a fraud person would do that. Anyways, I'm not mad about it. It's like you gotta taste it before you buy it. You know, sometimes you just pick it up off of the counter in a donut shop where they are selling the donuts and just lick it. Well, uh, taste hack.

I can get away anything because I'm ready and have a good, whatever. I forget about it. That does make me angry, though. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's just making of what I worked at a bakery and someone would like take the cover off the muffins and like try to like stop touching them. Yeah. Stop touching them. You can point.

to which one you want. But I want to feel what it feels like, well, you can't. It's not a peach. Yeah. Jesus Christ. People are monsters. Yeah, exactly.

It's also, yeah, you were like, hey, and in 2020, a super flu is going to destroy everything, and you're going to remember this moment. Jackie Damien, Zabrowski. Oh, no wonder I was so silent as a child. So, yeah, they switched outfits that were like, let's just keep it this way for one year specifically, so that Pete David's skin, you know,

you can repair your image, all be you, you be me. A year later, they do a sketch together about the, quote, new and improved Pete Davidson on S&L.

It was on there, the two of them. Pete's back. He's better than ever. And this is when the TikToker, I mentioned before, Becca the writer, believes they were planning

to switch back. However, pandemic had other plans, didn't it? Yeah, and so did his penis. Yeah, and his big fucking cock. Making children with his penis. milking flesh.

That one happened. Keep going. This explains why Davidson started doing wholesome things like Data Star from Bridgerton and starred a rom-com called MeatCute while Malaney relapsed. You know? Got that pregg, pregg, fell off with his wife.

I don't need to get into it. I mean, I respect the game, by the way. Melani, I think you're doing a great job out there and everything. Whoa. But that's besides the point. Do you think these two have parent-trap themselves? Yep. Yes.

It's a, yeah. I guess I do. I think it's the only way because you're right, though, because, like, the Phoebe, I don't know how to say her last name, De Never. Dinnavore? Dinosaur, yeah. Who was from Bridgetterton, Dinosaur.

Phenianian. Dinosaur woman. And from Bridgetterton, it does seem like she's way more Jamel Layne's type than Pete Davidson's type. And I did watch King of Staten Island, and I was charmed by Pete Davidson in a way that I didn't think that I would be. So maybe it has to be 100% correct. There you go.

Yeah, it's going to be a, yeah, for me too. Sorry, I also just realized I remember reading not that long ago that Pete Davidson said that he was going to start getting some of his tattoos removed. There you go. Guys, it's maybe it's because it's John Mulan. and he doesn't want to keep having to put the fake tattoos on anymore. Yeah. There you go.

And, you know, because the only other explanation is that, like, John Mullaney is, like, a full, you know, complicated individual human being that contains multitudes. That's insane. What are your saying is insane right now? Who can deal with that? And these celebrities are just like us, but only what we know of them. We know everything about him, so.

Well, there you go. Apologies for the sort of flesh. comment and the milk flesh comment, but I think we got through that very well. Can't get through an episode without a lot of just comments about milkyness and flesh at this point. And that's okay. I know I'm going to read the comments too,

be like, I can't believe how uncomfortable Holden made MJ in that moment about the milk flash. And I'd be like, yeah, y'all, I think you all like don't understand how the friendship works. I do love it. I love the vivid descriptions that Holden to Jay. Becky give me every week. We're all-tors over here, thank you very much.

And I am currently drawing a picture of what I was describing in order to mail to each of you. Well, I mean, you need to explain to us, you know? No, it's an NFT. Anyway, sorry, it's an NFT, that's whatever. Oh, I don't give a buck. Oh, my God, with your digital co-cains. But don't worry, the list isn't an MF, MFmer? Wow.

M-F-R-B is. what it is, and you can figure that out for yourself, and I'm in sixth grade MFERB. Are we allowed to sing the song? Sing it. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Celebrities who had to field wildly disrespectful questions.

I went down a bit of a worm time of watching a bunch of Ellen's upsetting, because I was thinking about the other day when Mariah Carey, when she was like after we did the Mariah Carey episode we found out that Ellen had found out that she had tested positive when she was pregnant and she had had a miscarriage a couple days beforehand and Ellen had her on because she didn't like Mariah Carey didn't publicly say that she was pregnant and Ellen had her on and was just like so I hear you're pregnant

and Mariah Carey was like we're not I told you I said the one thing we're not discussing that and she's like well if you're not pregnant then drink this champagne. Oh my God, I forgot about this. Yes. So I was watching that again because, you know, I just like to be upset when I'm alone. But there are just sometimes when people think that they can ask questions of someone that is truly just very upsetting. Now, this one's not as upsetting, but does get more upsetting as the time goes on. Quentin Tarantino, which we know, we know he's not the best of men, but still, Christian Guru Murthy set Tarantino up with a highly divisive question. Why are you so sure that there's no link

between enjoying movie violence and enjoying real violence? And Quentin Taranteney and shut him down real quick and say, don't ask me a question like that. I refuse your question. Because it's like, it's not, this is not the time. Like, you're asking someone about a movie. Don't ask them questions like that.

Yeah, that's a dumb question. Yeah. And same, and I thought about you, Olden, Taylor Swift on Ellen. When she dragged poor Taylor through a slideshow of her famous exes while on the show just to watch her squirm and Swift tried to politely bow out saying, I don't know if I'm going to do this. And Ellen shot back with, yeah, you will.

Yeah, I'm just glad she got called out for that and the Mariah thing. You know, it's absurd. It's so weird that she got by being like, I'm the nice one. I'm nice. I'm nice. And then when she got called out, she was like, well, no one's nice all the time. And it's like, you were publicly not nice. Like, that was not nice.

You were aggressively publicly, you used your niceness. as a shield to be mean to people when they were on the spot and they couldn't say no to you. Exactly. And it's yucky. And I appreciate when someone can, because they feel like if I was put in a situation like that, I'd just be like, oh, I would just get all caught up rather than having a good comeback. But at least sometimes you work with another person like Olivia Munn and Ken Jiang. While promoting 2016's ride-along too, some jokester asked them whether if a mass shooting erupted in a nightclub. They were morally clear to ditch the bill on their bottle service.

Jesus. Both were unamused. The same reporter asked Jiang, who we do know is a, like, he is a doctor to take a look at her tonsils. Yeah. Weird. I don't. I'm always so just constantly uncomfortable by those like press junket interviews.

They're so, like, because every time I see them now, I know that like, this is like one in a million they had to do that day. You know, and these people are so incompetent, because obviously, like, so many of them are just like, yeah, you know, how do they even get these fucking jobs? It's, like, insane. But they're so brain dead, like, the, you know, so then they add, yeah.

And they're, like, trying to get, like, a sound bite, I guess, but still, like, but also, like, just the kind of, like, someone that just wants to make someone uncomfortable, like, Anne Hathaway in 2012, Matt Lauer, uh, referenced a recent wardrobe malfunction that Hathaway had suffered, and I remember saying, I remember when this is happy, happy, I remember when this happened, creepily saying, we've seen a lot of you lately. I extremely remember this.

Right, and Hathaway exorately commandeered the conversation. She said, I'm sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies the sexuality of unwilling participants, which brings me back to Lay Mizz. Yeah. And went right back into the end. And it was like, fuck, yeah. I forgot about that. She nailed it.

She was like, wow, it's so inappropriate what you just did. But the good thing is that that's what they're. They did to Fontaine, too. Like, she really brought it home. I love it, too, because, like, I would totally be like, yeah, well, I've seen a lot of your stupid face at the face house. You know what I mean? And then I was never able to come back with something.

How perfect that then, of course, Matt Lauer was later absolutely taken down by being a sexual harasser. So it's like, oh, you were just like low-key sexually harassing Anne Hathaway on television. Yes. When she couldn't shut you, when you thought she couldn't shut you down. And then she did because she was very skilled. And it's 2012 and no one did anything about it. You know, it's insane how far that we've come. And even just like the kind of like probing questions like Jane Fonda,

while promoting her 2017 film Our Souls at Night, Fonda was asked by Megan Kelly why she's not proud to admit that she's had work done. And Fonda gracefully pivoted. We really want to talk about that? Let me tell you why I love this movie that we did rather than plastic surgery because it's none of your fucking big. business. It's not your business. And there are certain things that I think that you sign up for and being a celebrity that are like, well, it just kind of comes with a job. But that is not one of them.

And last but not least, we have been talking about Lindsay Lohan a lot. And apparently when she was on David Letterman, David Letterman wouldn't stop prodding at her most vulnerable personal scars. He said, how many times have you been in rehab? How will this time be different? What are they rehabbing? Oh, wow. She tried to shut him down with a blunt, we didn't discuss. this in the pre-interview. Yeah. This is a really intense. And I love Letterman, but it's painful to watch.

Yeah, that's weird. And that's not usually his style either. That's like a weird kind of. I mean, yeah, he fucks. He's like, he can be kind of a tough interviewer in certain ways. But that's not usually his. No, honestly. And you know, we, Lindsay Lohan, this is Lindsay Lohan.

But I think it was an example of like him just being like, you are such a joke. Yeah. Like, you know, it's because she's just like, you know, she is just, treated, she is just such a joke, she's such a punchline that in the interview, it's just like, it is like so disrespectful. And I think that it's just like, well, it's Lindsay Lohan, I've got to do this, you know, because that's kind of like, whatever. Or he didn't want her on the show and like, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. It sounds almost like that a little bit. But it's bad. But it's bad. Taking it out on the bookers. Yeah.

Because I do also wonder in that kind of situation, like, does David Letterman, like, obviously he's the host of the show, but to what extent can he be like, I'm not asking that question. Like if it was like someone being like, but that's what people want to know. That's why she's on the show. Right. Right. They want that. Yeah. That's a good question whether that was just kind of, because right, I love Letterman. I love his interviewing style. Um, but that particular interview is very hard to watch because it just seems like he doesn't care about her. You know, and it's again, it's Lindsay Lohan. So it's like every public appearance she ever did is basically just people kind of like feeling like they have a blank check to shit on her, you know.

That's why we're going to listen to her podcast so we can get to know the real Lindsay. Well, nothing's that hard to watch for me these days. Why? Why, I wonder. Because I think I'm going. Why? Items. No, we can't see them.

Oh, my God. Man alive, there's men alive in here. Oh, my God. Last night at the smokehouse, we started singing, you don't make friends with salad. You know, we're going to eat a bunch of like, they brought out, I just need to say this real quick. We all got a bunch of like twice baked potatoes that were covered in cheese. And they assumed, and you know what they did assume correctly,

they brought out sides of like mounds of butter and sour cream and chives. And I was like, oh no, we didn't get regular baked potatoes. He's like, I know, you're going to say you don't want this? I was like, yeah, of course they wanted. Very fun. All right, here we go. Here's number one. Just to screw with this A-plus list singer,

this one-named foreign-born, former A-List singer, went to lunch with a certain manager and took a selfie with him and texted it to the singer. There is some buzz that two have been doing more than just having lunches together. So the A-plus-List singer, no. Rihanna.

Who has problems? Huh? Rihanna? Yes. And who's she texting? Good work. So who's the singer that has a problem with a manager? Is it Taylor Swift?

Yes. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Well, I thought that Rihanna wasn't, like, she was talking about, like, possibly not making more music and really focusing on, which we didn't talk about her, the line of,

yeah, Savage. Laundre, like, gender non-conforming lingerie that she's putting out with Savage Fenty right now. But I thought that she was, like, taking a step back. Apparently, yeah, a lot of blinds that I get for Rihanna are, like, her voice not being the same as it used to, and her going into the studio to bad,

results and this, that, and the other. And at the same time, I'm like, okay, she doesn't need it. And I like that she's not just putting something out to put it out. So if it's not good enough, if it doesn't meet her standards, I'm kind of like happy for her that she understands how to like, you know, navigate that. And she doesn't need it. But wait, isn't this blind her being kind of mean to Taylor? So Scooter Braun had a big private dinner in NYC with attendance such as Rihanna,

Madonna, A Saprocki, and Justin Beaver, of course. And, and this one really popped out to me, Ed Shearin, which is kind of interesting because he and Taylor Swift are like so tight and, like, such buds that that feels like that would be a betrayal.

And that is something that I can never unforgettable, Ed. I know he does that. I love that. He keeps hot sauce in his purse, Jackie. Hot sauce is great. I mean, emergency ketchup. Catchup in my purse.

Sweat. Good work, y'all. That was some sleuth in there. The A-List reality family is in talks to buy a majority stake in the company of this A-list actress slash Oscar Steeler. A-List reality family. Gwynethyst-Bow and the Kardashians. Yeah, Kardashians are, I guess, talking about buying into goop. Of course. They've been really moving into, because you even see it's like they've been working with Chrissy Teakin.

They've been starting to get into like the home lines. Oh, my God. You just reminded me that fucking dumb, fucked food article you sent me. That's why I'm the Ed Sheeran thing that I just said because I started on page seven email this week because I got really mad. That article was like the worst, like, dumb article.

Like, I either, the person who wrote it is just that vapid and terrible, or I could read the depression in the subtext. Like, I could read the sadness of that person. It was a list of like the craziest celebrity works. And then it was like, can you believe? Oh my God. Chrissy Tegan mixes Captain Crunch and Fruity Pebble? When she was hungry because she was pregnant.

And by the way, she called her like Queen Chrissy. I was so mad. If you look up celebrity food quirk. Everything was so dumb in that article. I was so angry at the article. It was just the wording of it. Oh, and the whole first paragraph was like, sometimes we eat weird thing.

Like, it was like so vapid. Like the whole first paragraph was useless, just adding words. to the word count. It was literally just like explaining to us all that sometimes people have corky food taste. John Legend has a very strange pre-show food ritual. Oh, this is the best one.

He eats, oh my God. MJ, hold on your socks. Okay. A half hour before he goes on stage. Oh, I can't even say it. Roasted chicken and steamed vegetables. Ah! What?

Oh, my God. Roasted chicken and steved vegetables. Protein and vegetables. He eats like a healthy balanced meal before performing. That could not be a more normal meal. That is the most basic normal Starbucks meal. Furious. I just love it.

I'm so glad older because I was so angry that I had to include. I was so mad at that article. Fuck this list. This is so mad. Yeah, I was really pissed off at that article. Just the way the whole thing's written. And it's Queen Kardashian too at one point. It was just like it was so dated because we've all like turned on these celebrities.

I was going to say. This person know we hate all these people now. Yeah, yeah. This was like clearly like before would we like, ugh. Yeah, it was so 2019. It did come out in 2019. Did it come out in 2019? Yeah, it was right before the turn.

All right, this last one, this A-list mostly movie actor who sometimes directs was spotted drinking while gambling earlier this week. Never a good thing to see. Drinking and gambling. That's too judgy, blind Adam. Who's this? Well, he's got a history with falling off.

Yeah, with kind of falling off. into the drinking. He's a sad man. He's a bad man. He's behind blue eyes. That's a bad place. The who? He, no.

Jackie said Pliny's Wood. That's not right. No, but he's directed some stuff. We talk about him a lot on this show. Tom Cruise? No, he likes a certain chain. It's not really a restaurant. It's like more like that.

That Fleck? Yes. Well, these days, Affleck and Lopez have gone back to their busy careers, which involves being. apart quite a bit. A source close to Lopez said they will see each other when they can. So I think Lopez is, you know, they're kind of doing in their own lane right now through the fall.

Back to being a saddie. And that is, yeah, he's back to being Saffleck. No. Sathlet. I have to live for their love. Yeah, well, die for their hate. No. Don't die for their hate.

Don't take me back to the year 2000. I have. And I can see again. And you're the blind leading the blind. No, I'm not. Because I'm here to read. Shout, shout, shout, shout it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about.

Come out. We'll read them to you. Come on. As always, I want to thank you guys so much. much for sending in your shoutouts. You know I'm absolutely obsessed with them and you can hit us up with your shout out or just to say hi over at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. First up, we've got, oh, you know how much I love a self birthday shout out. Hell yes, Christine, this is a birthday shout up for myself. Christine says I'm turning 30 again. We're not counting full our birthdays on the

I'm treating my best friend. This is amazing. This is absolutely amazing. I'm treating my best friend in the whole world to a beach vacay. I can't wait to sit on the porch, watching the waves, and eating all the damn seafood. We have a ghost walk set up with my favorite tour company. Secondary shout out to Port City Tour Company in Beaufort, North Carolina. Oh my God, Christine.

Have the best time shut off your brain. Oh, get in a hammock if you can find one. if you like um but also another beautiful beautiful self shout out from lorry this week and i just want to say thank you so much for writing in about your family and your two sons who are both trans and everything that you guys have worked through and i just makes me so happy that you said i'm happy to report that my 13 year old is thriving in middle school this year and even made the cheerleading squad he's having a blast and loving his eighth grade he even participated in a family-friendly drag show this past weekend and was happier than I've seen him in quite some time.

And your 15-year-old is enjoying school again. And I also just love so much. Thank you, Lori, for writing in. And you said, my husband has been a rock during this time and has managed to grow his business more than we could have ever thought possible. All my love to you and your entire family, and I wish I could just give you all just one big hug. Hell, you're killing it, Lori.

And also another fun mom self-shout. from Megan. Actually, you know what? Megan didn't give a self-shout. She wanted to give a shout-out to her 13-year-old son. And I just love moms connecting with... I can't even imagine if I could connect with my mom

at this age the way your kids are doing both Lori and Megan. Oh, I'm so impressed and I just want to meet you guys and learn all of your secrets. Megan says, my son recently came out to me as bisexual, and I couldn't be more proud of him

for being so self-aware, mature, and brave. He's my absolute favorite human being on the earth, and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be his mom. And then also said, my self-shutout is for my promotion at work. My position as a prevention specialist was bumped up. Now you are full-time. Get those bannies. You're killing it, Megan.

Thank you guys always for writing in and just the positive energy. I just feel like it's up, like the pump-up that I need. And we've got another shout-out, This goes out to girl named Katie. I love you so much, Katie. But this shout not from me. It's from Drew. Drew says, this is for my best internet friend, Katie.

We met over a year ago in the Jaconese stream. Our community is amazing. Come and hang out with us. She has seen me through the darkest times of my life and continues to be one of my strongest supporters. She recently nabbed a new job that I hope will allow others to see her talents the way I do. Seriously, Katie, you're so amazing and I can't wait to see you succeed and believe in yourself just as much

as I do. P.S., can we start watching Love on the Spectrum together again? Oh my God, I love your friendship, love. And we have another fun, huge one-year anniversary that's coming up and this shout-out goes out to Skyler!

And they're amazing, sexy ass, albeit exhausted, gender-fluid pan-husband, they run together the anime podcast called Kauai Desuppointment. And she says, we force people who don't watch anime to watch anime. And about your husband, he puts so much work into making us sound so good and putting an episode out each week, despite working 50 plus hours a week at his paying job. I completely understand of thinking of like, why do we do this? Why do we put this out every week?

Why are we consistent? And that's how you do it, Skyler. That's how you do it. I'm proud of you guys. Just keep plugging away. And I promise it will pay off if you just keep moving forward. I love you guys and think, again, Kauai DeSu P-P-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T. I don't know anything about anime. So maybe, anime, Holden.

Maybe that is a word that I should know, I'm assuming. But also Megan, oh, it is spooky season. Megan wants to shout out my amazing sister, Kelsey Ray, who at 31, signed up for university to get her doctorate in archaeology. Megan says she's had a tough go in life, and I am just so fucking proud that she's taking this step into her dream career. I love her so much, and she deserves all the love in the world. And also, yes, Megan did write this all in caps lock, which is how I write a lot of my emails, and says, I will not turn off the caps because Jackie ones told me you gotta let Jesus take the wheel. I love you, Megan, and thank you so much, but also, oh my God, Dr. Kelsey Ray, you're gonna go on so many adventures. I just watched Indiana

Jones. I know all about it now. But now we're heading into such a fun, double birthday. These people do not know each other, but I think it's absolutely insane that two people have the 30th birthday on October 10th that I imagine that in like the scheme of things that probably there are a lot of people that have a 30th birthday in October 10th this year. Sure, there's a lot of people in this world, but I'm just saying maybe you guys are meant to know each other. Valerie says, it is my sister Marta's birthday and it was Marta that put me onto page 7 in the first place. I wanted to give her a shout out on her 30th birthday on October 10th. I wanted to say I'm so lucky to have a sister like you and I'm so proud of the woman you've become. You've overcome so much and have built an amazing life for yourself

after encountering some very difficult circumstances. I don't know what I would do without you, and I'm so thankful that you're my sister. I cannot wait to celebrate your 30th in NYC, and I can't wait to see what your 30s hold in store for you. I promise it only gets better, but oh my God, we are synergized because we got a birthday shout out to my absolute ride or die. This comes from Chelsea, my hetero-life mate for life. Cassie's birthday, is a good. I'm so. Cassie's birthday. is on October 10th. It is on their 30th birthday. And Chelsea says,

I've been blessed to be by your side through the shittiest shit and the highest of highs, watching you build your home literally from the ground up and seeing you go from a beautiful wanderer to the most courageous and fearless woman I know inspires me every day.

Your personal growth over these last few years has been amazing, and I'm so unbelievably proud of you and everything you have done to take charge of your life and make it your own. Thank you for being my best friend, my best business partner and loving godmother to Wendy. I know it's not my Wendy, but I love Wendy.

Can't wait to see what the next decade has in store for us, as our bushes turn gray, and our backs get sore. You can have all the sausages, bitch, and the biggest plate of fire rise there is. I almost said flies, but I guess if you want flies, good for you, get that protein. Hell yeah. Happy birthday, Cassie, and happy birthday, Marta.

You got it. get together. Double birthday in NYC! I also want to send, oh, our cookie! I want to send the happiest birthdays to cookie from our Twybaby community. Thank you so much for the beautiful and supportive letter to us. Everything you said means the absolute world to me. Happy October 7th birthday, and thank you for all the contributions to our Twybaby lives. Also, please, I'm so happy to start and write again. Send me anything you want me to read, whether you want me to record it if you just want me to read it, because I think I'm going to go hog wild on the twilight slash fiction after this.

But last but not least, Tanya, thank you so much for sending in an email to us. You were absolutely amazing. And thank you for the life advice that you sent in for our beautiful community as well as for me. I don't think you meant it for me, but I'm taking it for myself. Tanya says, I'm a big fan of y'all and was hoping you could shout me out for my birthday on the ninth. Happy birthday, Tanya!

Could I also share some birthday wisdom for the listeners? Lately, I've been trying to switch up my habit of self-depreciating humor with some self-aggrandizing humor. I figure why spend all this energy being mean to myself for a laugh? I'm 31 and too cool and hot for all that negativity. Tanya, it sounds like you need to come out and hang out at the Style High Club. I hang out with Lisa Rose, who is an amazing fashion. stylist and this is a big part of what we talk about on Thursdays over on Ono, it's Jackie,

of we have to bump each other up because if you ain't going to love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? And love you, Rupa, and I love you, Donia, and I love you, Kukkah, and I love you, everybody else that wrote in. Thank you guys so much for hitting me up. I love to hear from y'all. And also, oh my God, and I forgot it and right back to Gaba Goulda Rat. I just, I know that Gaba Gable the Rat did not send the letter and write you.

Right now it's not right in front of me, but I've been thinking about your, you know I'm talking to you if you're still listening to this. I stared at the picture of your fat rat named Gabagool, and I absolutely fell in love. And I can't thank you guys enough for being a part of us. And uh-oh, you can tell she's hungover when she's just saying the same thing over and over again in my story. Ah, it's Tatar At Terra Non-Firma For the Arts You have to look

I hope that you have pictures of Gaba Gould On your Insta T-E-R-R-A N-O-N-F-I-R-M-A I'm sweating out in vodka And this has been your page 7 shoutouts We love you guys so much Again, page 7 podcast

At g-gmall.com I love you guys And thank you guys so much For sending in the loved all of us. I love you guys so much. And I love all your love and I love our love. And I just love love.

I love love love too. I also love love love something we have in comments. That is like our thing, isn't it? Yeah. I always thought about us. Should I say where people can find it? Sure, yeah, no, it's time. Yeah, no, please.

I release you to give your plugs. If you love love, you can find hold in it. Yeah. Jack and on Fridays where Jackie and I hang out. out and love each other. It is on Twitch.tv. 4 slash Holdenaders. So check me out.

I'll be back. Actually, hope maybe starting next week, I'll be back with my normal Monday, Tuesday, Friday schedule, but you always get Fridays for now anyways. So get it, enjoy it. Monday and Tuesday as well, hopefully, as I move into this sort of third month with this scream machine, let's see if we can make it work.

Are you talking about me? Because it's been like 18 years, Holden. It's been a lot more long. Jackie. And also please check out the Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. If you'd like to support us further, it really, really helps us continue to live

and feed our fucking kids, bro. So like think about it for two seconds. Feed Lexi so that Lexi can make the milk. Make the milk. And feed her to feed the baby. And me at this point. I'm living mostly off of her milk. So Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast.

There's so much extra content on there. We do a weekly bonus episode called Talk TV where we talk about the TV watching Jackie and I. Talking TV's back. There's all sorts of, but there's way more than that. So just go check it out. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. MJ, is it okay to say the way we can find you today?

I'm MJ. I'm on Instagram at MJK. L Kat. Wow, wow. Yeah, that was great. I'm not going to sing it. End of the singing episode. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

I don't sing. I don't. I never seen. And you can come hang out with me. We're talking a witchy fashion and our favorite witches. Tonight, if you are around over on, oh no, it's Shacky. And every Tuesday, we talk with Dr. Jordan, who is an asex certified sex therapist. So bring your questions. Bring your love.

Bring your fun. And we smile all the time. I love you guys. And thank you for getting me through the vodka sweats. We'll talk to you next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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