Page 7 - Ep. 421: Lil Ragù & the Meatballs

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

This week we're gossin' 'bout Tom Cruise and his new face, the dropping standard of online articles, William Shatner boldly going where Captain Kirk has gone before (space), Bobby Flay's exit from the Food Network and how the Food Network Top Dog is still Guy Fieri, Demi Lovato's theory on the term Alien, the Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon cell phone spat, the new Scream trailer, Halloween Kills, and (you guessed it) BREAST MILK. Finally, in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner, is Bobby Flay not actually a shitty guy!?Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Springheel Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, re-bring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Caught up on Ted Lasso last night And one of the episodes It ended in Radiohead And every time I hear a song off of OK computer I have to sit and listen to the entire damn album And one of those albums Because

Gama police Arrest this man He talks in maths He must like a fridge He's like a detail Radio. Going right to the chorus. Yeah.

This is what you get. Uh, ooh, bo bo bo boba. Yeah, that's how it goes. This is what you get. Be be be da booba.

This is what you get when you mess with us. Welcome to page seven. This is what you get when you mess with us. Yeah, fuckers. You get us an episode. Yeah, you get an episode. and I'm standing right behind you. Don't look.

No, he is not right behind you. Spooky, where there's a spooky season. And it really is. You know those albums in your life that the second you hear just a part of a song, you're like, fuck, now I've got to sit. I've got to listen to the entire album. We're going to think about it until I listen to the entire album. That album, that and honestly the one before it, too,

the bins or whatever, that they both are like the sound of winter in Charlotte in high school for me. Like, that is, they just exude that feeling of, like, driving in the car, you know, you're like, fuck, I got to get Christmas presents on any money. And Jamie left me and Emily left me. Oh, I'm mad about it. No one left me because they didn't come to me in the first place. Oh, they can't leave when you never come.

Yeah, yeah. It was just very funny, though, when Jeff got out of the shower and I was laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, listened to exit music from film, and, I put the lights on all purple. And he was like, I don't know if I can. Jackie, it's a Tuesday. What's going to happen? I'm like, I just, I'm fine.

I'm fine. I just had an illicit okay computer. Do you have like, like stage lights? Do you have like a series of gels that you can alter the color of your room based on your moods? Dude. Yes, kind of. Jeff has hooked it up. Our room is filled with different.

He's big into mood lighting. So they're all like at base. Honestly, I'm not a shill hound here. But you can get them on Amazon for pretty cheap. And it's just all based on an app. And you can put them in any kind of color. You can also make them go with the music that you're playing. It's kind of like it changed my world in a way of like, I thought that that was like,

there's no way I could ever afford something like that. But you can get four of them for like $30. Dude, I've got, man, this hatch. We got this hatch for the baby. I have a baby hatch. It's a little white thing. And oh my God, it's changed my whole world. You can listen to the rain.

Here in L.A. It don't rain. So you can create the fake rain. You can control it with your phone. And you're just sitting there and just like, I sleep to the sounds of different types of environments that make one fall asleep. As opposed to, you know, just like,

ah, I want to be in your movie. You can be in my movie, but you got to come to my room. Don't make me come to your room. You know, that's what I hear on the streets all day with the L.A. They're always screaming it out there. They're always in there. It's at you, Holden, right? They're like, that's the man that will put me in a movie, right?

Holden. Hey, do you hear, it's free. Yeah, I did hear it's free. You can buy lots of weed. Yeah, you can buy it anywhere. It's free. Like, just all morning long. And I'm just like, I know it's free.

We all know it's free. You know what I mean? Just go to his room or don't, probably. I should bring you on to come to some of the Twilight voices. Because once we get into the Volturi and all these Italian accents, it's rough for me doing the Italian accents. I know they don't. sound like Mario, but again, they kind of do.

Are you sure it's rough? Because I'm pretty sure we just had an episode like maybe last week or two weeks ago. What are you talking about? There's supposed to be multiple of them. And all I can do is, I'm talking like this. So if you have to do multiple and they're talking to each other, then there's some of them talking like this. And then I just think it's too.

It takes you out of the battle that they're in the middle of. You know, like it takes you out of it. Yeah. But we're about to be done with Twilight and it makes me want to die. Bye, light. Because in one week, one week I have finished the Sopranos. I have about to finish Twilight. And you guys know I hate finishing things.

The worst. I hate it. I hate it. I hate a closed tie. I don't want, I will like loose ends. I like keeping it out there of like, oh, maybe I'll see it down the road. And maybe that's all nomad land that lives in my head. Oh, we'll just see it down the road.

There's no goodbyes. I'm going to start crying at the beginning of stage seven today. How do you feel about that? Speaking about an Oscar winning movie from two years ago. See on down the road, MJ. I want to start this off with a bang. And yes, we are going right back into talking about breast milk. I don't want to forget.

Good Lord, I thought I was the one who had to avoid it. Three weeks and a row. By the way, we did on cocktails last Monday. We did breast milk white Russians and they were delicious. I just thought that this was very interesting because, A person named Ariel wrote in, I just want to say, thank you so much, who kind of, like, cleared the air on what we were discussing, all right? Ariel says, with regard to alcohol and breast milk, your milk will have the same concentration of alcohol as your blood. So, blah, blah, blah, your milk won't get, essentially, like, if you can, if you're sober enough to adequately, adequately care for the baby, your milk won't get the baby drunk.

However, as far as weed, there's a lot less research. But fun fact, breast milk is full of naturally occurring endocannabinoids. They make the baby get sleepy and hungry. Yes, this is true. So all those milk drunk babies are actually milk stoned, motherfucker. Nice. He said, I use cannabis moderately since my nine-month-old was about eight weeks, and she has shown no ill effects, already walking, talking, and meeting her milestones.

So overall, don't sweat the stuff so much. The human body is a beautiful system to take care of that baby. A couple of drinks or a few milligrams of THC won't hurt her and might help keep you sane. And he just needed to read all of this too, you guys. It was like, that's so cool. And thank you so much Ariel for sharing that with us. Yeah.

Dude, hell yeah. And, yeah, I mean, Lexi's just so anal, but I do, I would like, I wish you would slip a few millagee's. Get some G's in there. Yeah, I've been, hey, I've been profiting off the boozy milk that she doesn't feel comfortable feeding to the baby. You got to go in there.

You know, and honestly, there were a couple times in those first couple months. I think we're finally in some safer harbor now. Thank God. But there was a little time there where I was just like, what if we just pretended it was the old days? And I just put a little whiskey in the bottom. You know what I mean?

Just a little bit, huh? Just a tiny amount. It put us right out, us, Zabrowski. So, you know, we went to sleep. God should put more or whoever, the creator, whoever makes breast milk of the, you know, the higher power, whatever we believe in. Sheeshaw, the lioness is my.

I love Cheechaw the lioness. What's Cheryl's higher power, Jackie? Steve met her. Gaya. What's Cheryl's higher power from her? Mama Gaia, yeah. Mother Nature, Mama Gaia. In any case, whoever it is who's in charge

should put more cannabinoids in the breastmilk because the babies are too fussy to be as stoned as they should be. Can we put it in the water? I want everyone. I want endokinaminoids. Put it on my bagel. It's a smear. I want an endiccaninibonis shmere.

My God. God, I'd kill for a bagel. But we're not going to talk about East Coast v. West Coast right now. We have other things to talk about. Like, what the fuck is going on with Tom Cruise's face? What is happening with him? I actually felt bad. I felt bad for the man.

It's sad. Everyone on the internet was like, yuck, yuck, wow we, wow, we, wow. Well, I mean, yeah, he doesn't look like, he looks different. I don't think he looks bad. He just looks, he does look drastically different than the last time a picture was taken of him. You felt bad that everyone was making fun of him, not that you didn't feel bad that he got his face blown up

like a fit like the fish he likes to fuck? You know, well, I did, mayhap said that inside of the page seven. Then I said, maybe he's so sexually attracted to groupers that he wanted to look like one. And yes, I felt bad as I wrote it. But you know what? Are delicious? Gruper cheeks.

Huh. Ooh, you throw grouper cheeks on a grill. Ooh, mamma me. Oh, I'll eat it. So maybe he's just becoming more delicious. or maybe he is becoming a fish man. Do you think? Okay, so that's one theory.

Maybe he's slowly becoming a fish man from fucking fish and that's what happens to me you fuck a certain type of animal you slowly turn into them. It gets into the blood. Endocanine. It gets in the blood. Endoids. The endonoids get flow from the vagina of the animal

into the man's penis hole. Weirdly, there's a suction that happens. We all know this. At first a suction happens and then before the other way and so he's been receiving. So he could be just turning into a fish from fucking them. It could be a botched or maybe not even just botched, but he's just a little blown out even just from a day after some plastic surgery.

Could be. Alcohol. Whoa. I'm going to throw that out there. That looks like booze face a little bit. Am I right? I agree with you on that. So that is an interesting theory, but I feel like boo's face doesn't usually happen so quickly.

In months. So that's the thing. This October, this October photo in this article from 2020, compared to this is baffling. He does, I think, what if you think, maybe he's just at the part of his life where it's like, oh, he's looking down the barrel of senior discounts, which God,

I can't wait for senior discounts, that maybe he didn't want to pay for the peanuts at the basketball game, baseball. Baseball game, maybe he didn't want to pay for him and he kept him in his mouth. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe he was hiding them in his mouth like a squirrel. He's a squirrel who likes to fuck fish.

I'm not going to say, remember all the years when they wouldn't allow you to bring snacks into the movie theater. And how many times I used being fat as a crutch, a beautiful crutch, to pretend like I was pregnant so that I could get whiskey and snacks into the movie theater. And they're not going to pat you down. And I'm going, oh, Maron, oh, the baby. And you just got to yell the baby every three steps.

And then they won't try to take your snacks away. A little airport bottles of whiskey falling out from under your shirt. Oh, I'm giving birth. Can I just also make a complaint about these? Please. I'm so sick of these articles with random tweets from just a bunch of nobody's. Yes. They just be cold from the internet.

That's all the internet is now. It's all it is now. Reporters don't report. I have to read these random morons tweets and they're never that good. Like if it was the tweet was the story or like something like that, but it's always just like, Tom Cruise, his face. Wow. Yeah.

No man is me. You're just like, yeah, I know random, like, what, I don't even know, guy from like Nantucket, I guess we're just listening to what these people have to say. Why not? Facebook, you know, that's why your dad's voting for QAnon next week. If this was the old days, the way that, like, the Cosmo articles and stuff that we grew up on and the Us Weekly articles and stuff, it would be like, they would have to, they would have to find, like, an expert.

Yeah. They have to be like, this, this Botox. expert says that that's definitely Botox, you know, or like this fish expert says he's not a fish yet, you know. Oh my God, he's going to be a fish soon, though. Is that what you're saying? MJ, are you the fish expert that we need? Well, right now I feel like a bit of a Botox expert because I've never been good

at identifying the face things, the face jack he's making right now with the weird lips. I got big lips. I look like Darcy right now. The thing that Megan Fox has. But now that I'm watching Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, I feel like I finally, that is what did it, solidified by understanding of what plastic surgery face looks like.

And so now I can say that I feel. Do you love Jen Shaw? Are you for Jen Shaw or against Jen Shaw? I mean, I'm not caught up on season two. I'm not caught up on season two. But I think two things. Team Jen Shaw and also I think it's just hilarious that she's been indicted for fraud. absolutely wonderful, hilarious.

She is the worst, yet I'm definitely not Team Mary. I've got to be Jen Scha if I have to choose. I like Heather. I like all of them. I have no... Honestly, Holden,

you would love real house. I'm not a big Real Housewives fan. Me neither. It has to be a hugely successful franchise for a reason. Salt Lake City. This one, Salt Lake City. It's the one.

Salt Lake City, yes. It ties your loves together. Yeah, it ties your love together. Yeah, it ties your... Your love. Oh, I love the Mormons. I'm very interested in the LDS faith. Me too.

It's very interesting. Like, if you listen to Twilight and me breaking down my weird theories about Mormonism and how it comes to light through the ideas of Twilight, check out our Patreon. I've got, I just, but I've read a lot into it, though. I accidentally keep following all of these mommy bloggers on Instagram, not realizing that they're all Mormons. So like, I just follow a lot of mommy bloggers on Instagram because I'm like, yeah, tell me how you organize your storage bench. And then the next thing I know they're like, and when I'm stressed, I just read the scriptures.

And then I'm like, oh, that's why you have so many kids. That's that HBO show about the Lose Weight Church. It's like when you're hungry or when you are thinking about food, pray. Yeah. And just like, you know. I did that. Was that a cigarette church that I was a part of? Because last time I lost a lot of weights because it was like, oh, you're hungry?

have another cigarette, Jackie. And where did that get you? Okay, real quick, I want to just bring us back to the thing about the tweets. Okay, so this is page 6.com. I am because I found something. I finally clicked the link to a tweet. The tweet has 88 likes. It has eight retweets.

This is a tweet that they, in a newspaper, online professional newspaper, page 6.com, placed in their article as like definitive proof of people's reactions. this tweet is from someone called Little Ragu and here's the tweet they decided was Oh no, it's me, a little Raku I write it and I write and say Oh, dumb cruises the faces are so fat

Little Ragu had this to say. I love these double negatives This is just like when people come up to me be like, my wife fucking hates and sound of your voice but I really like you show, you know what I mean? Or whatever you know the double negative

like just doesn't do anything for anyone. This is Lil Ragu. Listen, I don't like Tom Cruise at all. And then in parentheses, it's in all caps, at all. But I'm seriously sick of Twitter trashing people for their weight fluctuations. People are allowed to gain and lose weight, and it's really Nanya.

Nanya. Ler Ragu. Stop being pet-phobic. Nanya. Say it. Nanya. I just cannot believe. Maybe I am moonlighting as a little Ragu.

Little Raku and what are you guys going to say about it My Meatballs? She would change the name of the show to Lil Ragu and the meatballs, guys. We'll get sued. Will we come at me, Lil Ragu. Come at me, Big Ragu. Come at me. It's Big Ragu that's, oh God. And what about

oh, Signore Fettuccini? Whatever Senor de Fettuccini shows up. Oh, you better get to step in, y'all. Insane. Just the whole... So you're just mad about Lil Ragu. You're mad about... I am mad. I'm mad at page 6.com because at least take a tweet that got more than a thousand likes if you're going to put it on and say like this is the general public opinion of something.

All loved a little ragu, but they're misreading the situation. It's not that Tom Cruise gained weight. It's that much loved a little ragu. I don't want little ragu to come. Big ups. Big ups. No one comes from little ragu on Twitter to leave them alone. They're doing their thing.

She's got soldiers in L.A. she's got soldiers in Brooklyn. She's got soldiers in Nevada. All right. We know that the Lil Ragu's got stuff set up. We don't want to offend. Like, let her be, like, I'm sure she didn't want her tweet

to be embedded in the New York Post story either, but, uh, it's, little Ragu, it's no one's fat shaming Tom Cruise's face. They're plastic surgery shaming his face. We're fish fuck shaming him. We're fish fuck shaming him. And if, you know, fish hybrid man shaming him,

I guess, here on this episode. I think people don't understand that you could have like, honestly, you said MJ earlier, like, this is a large change. I'm telling you, if you just kind of go hard for a week or two drinking and fucking eating whatever you want and not sticking to the diet, maybe after you're a movie wrapped and they told you you lost the space race. You know what I mean? To William Shatner. To William Shatner. But William Shetner did get to space.

Yeah. I think you went up today. I think that Tom Cruise has got to be jealous. Why was that not bigger fucking news on like Reddit? or whatever I was looking at earlier. That's crazy. I think it's because, like, really rich people are going to space now, so I think it's not as, like, much fun.

Right. Um, for people to care about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's one that's will, will, will, when we think about your fucking homeless people we're going to end up in space debt next week? I mean, what are we talking about here? Um, no, I kid, but, uh, yeah, with Tom Cruise,

like, sometimes you can just kind of go hard for a week or two and look like that compared to what you look like a, you know what I mean? And then if you get off the sauce for, like a week. I've seen it happen to my own body. Your skin tightens up. So I think maybe he's just depression drinking, depression binging on everything

because he lost the space race. I don't know why I thought he didn't drink. I'm pretty sure he doesn't drink. That's what I thought too. I thought that he didn't drink either because of, I think it's, we probably thought that Jackie because of the absolutely intense religion that he is at part of it. Well, I just want to thank you too for embarrassing

me right now in front of everybody with my by immediately disproving my very interesting theory. maybe he fell off the wagon and that's why and that he's trying to hide it and maybe they could be that. I think a bender is certainly like just as possible

as plastic surgery. I don't know, Jackie. I do think you're the Botox expert of the three. His whole face is like, I don't even know. Can you even do that with Botox? I don't even know if you can do it.

It could also be, it depends. Like, I mean, this is, I am not a doctor. But looking at it's like, doesn't, like, Stero, don't steroids usually like puff you out as well? Or like some kind of like enhancer, like some kind of like workout enhancer that temporarily doesn't it usually like puff you out? I know nothing. But that is a one of like one of the few things that may be like it could be.

But I am very definitely, um, I'm interested in how Bobby Flee is going to look now. He's not on the fucking food network anymore. Bye, heyda. Get the hell out of here. You are a scourge upon the. the food network. Get out of our network. Take your colonizing show elsewhere and I love, love, love that it's because he's pissed off that he didn't get as big a raise as Guy Fieri. That is exactly the blind item. I have my blind item for this week that was stolen from me. I stole it from him by

doing good research. Apparently this celebrity chef wanted the same size deal as the frosted hair chef. That wasn't going to be possible. One of the questions is how many will depart with him. He has talked to four who will be willing. I just love this so much because I, you know, have a long time, very large fan of the Food Network. I watch it probably every day. And the idea that he thinks that he is remotely, comparably as popular as Guy Fieri, it's just like, bro, you got to, like, yeah, you're probably the next highest paid guy on the fucking Food Network. but you are not even in the same stratosphere.

Do you know how beloved Guy Fieti is? Do you know how, like, guys grocery games? And what a good person, Guy Fietti is? Yeah, in addition to being a good person. Right, like, yes, all of his charity stuff. In case you guys don't know or you don't give a shit, and I would understand, Guy Fieri was given an $80 million three-year contract on the network. And what did Bobby Flee?

so Bobby Flea heard this and was like, oh, he's getting 80 mil. He wanted $100 million to stay for three more years. And Food Network was like, no. No. No. So we know Bobby Flay, it's not like he's going to go off into the stratosphere. He's not, you know, shatnering us here. But he's going to, I'm sure he's going to take his wormy little butt and slide on over because he's covered in grease.

Yeah, I don't openly like to talk mean about people. but I don't like Bobby Flee. I don't like him. I don't like anything that he stands for. And he just, oh, slip on over. I'm sure he's going to get something on like Discovery Plus. I'm sure he's going to get something somewhere else. Yeah, it's going to be a good.

I didn't even know he still had a show. Oh, he's got so many. He's got a million shows. And honestly, I watch all of them and I enjoy all of them. He has, his main one is beat Bobby Flay, which is literally, that's what he does. It was the same thing as throw down with Bobby Flee. Flay. What he does is he, he challenges people to cook food most of it. That is their thing. That is their signature food. He goes into their restaurant. Yes. And, and he, right, so he makes

people for, beat Bobby Flea, he makes two people compete against each other using an ingredient of his choice, like chickpeas. And then he chooses, not he, the judges choose which person is best ready to beat Bobby Flay. And then he competes against them. And like, I'm going to say seven out of ten times. It's somebody who has like a culture and ethnicity that is meaningful to them. And they're like, I'm going to make this like Iranian food that I grew up eating. I can make that. I can make it better than you.

He's like, I've never heard of that. And then he makes it. But he makes it in like a little foodie way with like little crispsies on top and in like a good presentation. And then they have their little foodie judges come. And they're like, oh, this. This one made by the real Iranian person is like very homestyle and I like how it's rustic. But with Bobby, it's just like the presentation and it's all blind presentations. It's like not even, yeah.

And then he makes it and like right against Guy Fiatty who goes into restaurants. And like the thing is that I know the Bobby Flaze show. Sorry, I've got a lot to say about. B'A's shows. Like I know that it brings like good. I know that it brings money to the small restaurants. I understand that. And I know that it is good for them to be on the show.

they wouldn't be on it if it wasn't. For sure. But Guy Fieri goes in and celebrates what the people do in their restaurants rather than being like, yeah, you make that, I can make a battle. Yes. Yeah, oh, I'll make a battle, you, man. You're so right. It's their opposite shows.

Diner's Drivers and Dives is Guy Fieri going to places and being like, wow, look at this incredible thing you do. Yeah. Yes. And what Bobby Flay does is that's what you do. I'll do it better. And then he invites his friends. on and then they vote and they're like, I like this one better.

And sometimes the challengers win and it's all in good fun and they all have a great time. And I hate how much I like it and watch it. I like that you still watch it though so that I feel like in our partnership, like as long as you're still watching it, I can still hate it because I refuse to watch it anymore. I will never watch him again. Every time I see him, show his little rat face onto the show, I click it off. And I go, get out of here, you little rat.

And lest we forget, Bobby Flay also is, he intersects with a lot of pop culture spheres because he also was married to Alex Cabot, the DA from, that's not her real name, that's her ADA name, from Law & Order Sve-U. Broke her heart. And then they divorced and all the blinds at the time were saying it was because he was banging Giata. Giata. But then you also, though, I've heard tale that it wasn't just Giata and maybe I shouldn't talk out of school. But I hear he's not a very good man.

I don't think that that is a surprise at all. He is a monster. And I mean, his public persona is that he's an asshole. Like, so maybe he's a fine man towards women. But I would not be surprised if that's not true because his public persona is I'm a dick. But he also has a show called brunch with Bobby and everything he makes looks very good. He's like very, he's a good job. I'm not even denying his, like, his talent.

He's a talent. Yes, he is very good. I just don't like him. No, he sucks. He sucks. And again, the chutzpah of being like, I want a bigger contract than Guy Fieri. It's like, dude, people who don't watch the Food Network love Guy Fieri. You are somebody who like, for people like me who have an unhealthy relationship with the Food Network, they might like you. But like Guy Fieri transcends fucking boundaries. Everybody loves Guy Fieri. I love Gai Fieri. I love him. And he's grown and he's changed. The most evil man, you know what I bet Mussolini would like Guy Fieti if, you know what I mean? I mean, he makes the trains run on time. I bet he makes the trains run on time in the same way that Guy Fiatty probably runs his restaurants.

Well, maybe not all the restaurants because they hurt your, they'll hurt your belly. Not all the shots. We love you guys. We love you guys. Yes, thank you, Guy Fietti for all the work you do for restaurant workers. And just, when he's out there, like, like cooking for the firefighters that are out, trying to, like, make our entire state just not completely, like, burn. to a crisp and fall off of the fucking country.

I love you, Guy Fieri. You see that video where he found the little baby birds and he mother-birded them their food to keep them alive? I bet he fucking would. He slowly chewed up little bits of hamburger, cheeseburger meat. They love him. And then spit them into the bird's mouths

and they became their hearts grew 18 times that day. Oh no, that's probably bad for the bird. Yes, they exploded. They exploded. The one really unrelatable thing about Guy Fiatty rice at a wedding. Is that he won't eat eggs. He has a whole show called

a guy at the ranch or something. And he invites all these cool chefs over to his awesome ranch house in California. And they cook outside and they eat each other's food. And it like makes you want to be best friends with all of them. And whenever they make anything with eggs, all the chefs have to make him a version that doesn't have any, like if it's bruns, he won't eat them. They have to take him off.

And that is the only thing about Guy Fiatty that I currently don't like. I don't love that. Well, it's because he loves the baby birds so much. Oh. Yeah. It's the circle of life for him that disrupts his belly, and I understand it. Yeah. But what was that?

I was nothing. I was scared. I was going to come up with the subway, but I did know. Then I decided not to. That was my, I'm saying what I'm thinking out loud right now. I'm scared of the future. I don't know of my brain with my laser eyes. Camapolice.

It's the sound of winter. Or is it the sound of Demi Lovato's cries into the nothing? I am upset with them. Is this real? Is alien derogatory to call a immigrant? So I think that what happened is that Demi Lovato heard that you should not call a human being that is undocumented. This is my theory. Maybe I'm wrong.

And is that a thing, though? You should not call an undocumented person and an illegal alien. This was the language for a long time, and it's dehumanizing, right? Because aliens are little green men from outer space. And what Demi Lovato, I think, what happened? I might, again, correct me if I'm wrong. And there's some sort of language justice movement for aliens from other planets. But what I think is happening is that they took the idea that the correct, absolutely 100%

correct idea that you should not call human beings. aliens and instead you say undocumented people. And they have now taken that back to aliens. And they said, don't call aliens, aliens. Yeah. That's disrespectful. Call them extraterrestrials. And I have certainly never heard this.

I just want to say this right now. Extraterrestrials. Until they actually are at all communicating with us. And they are like, why are you guys going? At that point we listen to that. I draw the line here. Alien is a cool word. Okay.

It's a cool sounding word. I'm happy to not call immigrants that word. That makes sense to me. Totally. But can we keep it for the sci-fi? It just goes so well. Alien. It's so good.

It's like mysterious. It's creepy. It's like the reason why language matters when we're talking about human beings is because language is used to hurt people and marginalize them. Like there's a reason why language matters. And when you do shit like this, it makes people be like, Oh, well, then what? I'll call me a unicorn. And it's like, no, no, no.

It actually does matter. Like, we should not call human beings certain things that are dehumanizing. There is no, like, justice cause around not calling fucking things that we don't even know, like, for sure, are sentient beings or whether you believe there exists. There's no justice behind,

there's no injustice behind calling a fucking someone from another planet, an alien. Like, I don't get. Edit. So Demi Lovato has a show on Disney Plus called Unidentified, where they are, it's like a UFO docu series where they are trying to explore the possibility of extraterrestrial life. Okay, fine. I, it hates, like part of me inside thinks that they are doing this as a way to drum up more publicity for their show that I imagine is getting, I'm sorry, it's on Disney Plus, it's on Peacock. that just to get more eyes on it because they also have recently come out and saying that they have seen aliens. I'm saying aliens.

They've seen aliens. And that they have tried to cont. I'm reclaiming the word aliens in reference to things. And like I want to say like life outside of this world because the word alien, the definition of the word alien is belonging.

or owing allegiance to another country or government belonging or relating to another person, place, or thing, coming from another world. So, in reference to an extraterrestrial and, like, they only refer to them as ETs,

um, I won't. It's aliens. And I'm going to say aliens. And I tried to get Henry to comment on it. And he said no comment. Wow. No comment.

No comment to me. I tried. I was like, in a way that dams him In a way that dams him. You know, I think this falls in the funny new compartment that we found ourselves in in 2021. We're in the attempt to not, to be extra not racist, you all of a sudden wrap back around

and are weirdly being racist. You know what I mean? Right. It's likening immigrants to extradivating. It's just way, it's like way over correction. Because again, and this is the, and that's the problem holding what you just described as the, because then you have people be like, oh, well,

You don't want me to say alien. Well, next thing, you know, I'm not going to be able to say it, you know. Jewish. Right. And it's like, no, no, no, no. We should not be having overreactions to, like, things when human beings say this word is hurtful. And sometimes, of course, there's going to be times where you're like, oh, but that word doesn't really mean that. Language is an always changing, always evolving thing.

Take they as a singular, you know, pronoun. most people know it as a plural pronoun that's changing. If you looked up in the dictionary, you know, a little bit ago, it would have said plural pronoun, but it changes, right? So it's okay for language to change. Like, it's okay if like, yeah, the dictionary definition of alien, you know, it might be on paper correct to use it in one way. And then, again, when human beings say, you know, the way that this language, this word is used,

it's dehumanizing. Like, all that is so important. And then for Demi Lovato to be like, well, it's dehumanizing to extraterrestrials to say alien. It's just like, bitch, what are you talking about? You spent too much time at Joshua Tree. Get back to the city, please. We've got to figure this out. I get it.

I love drugs too, man. But like, come. I just, I don't know. If the aliens come. And maybe it's my old coming out. If they claim an identity and they say call us this, then we listen to them. Listen to what people want to be called. There is, as far as I know, there is no movement from sentient English-speaking aliens, extraterrestrials, being like, excuse me, I find that word offensive too.

And I think that to bring that in makes mockery of the very real reason not to use that word for human beings. Yes, 100%. And also, like, as if that, you know, whatever being could come here wouldn't be so far beyond our, you know, measly way of existing that they would even bother to give a shit about what we as cockroaches in the universe referred

to them as Cockroaches of the universe. I'm sorry. We're not all cockroaches. If they come down in their green, I can't go with it. I don't trust green people. Whoa. Wow. Now Demi Lovato's going to come after you. Now we're going to get canceled by the

aliens. Oh, God. I'd be scared of it. We're We're going to get canceled by Mariah Carey for having cell phones. I really think that this article is very, very funny of the fact that Nick Cannon wanted to buy cell phones for the twins that they share with that Nick Cannon shares with Mariah Carey. And Mariah Carey is like, no, you can't buy them cell phones.

And then he bought them cell phones for their 10th birthday anyway. And Mariah Carey was pissed. Oh, yeah. That's rough. Publicly pissed about it. It's a dick move by a Nick Cannon. Like, D.

Parent Corner. Oh, yeah, we're getting to get to parent corner. Oh, let's put on parent hats on. All right, parent hats. MJ, cell phones. All the kids love them.

What age do you think you will be allowing them to have their own to, of course, obviously, find out what kink they're eventually going to have. Obviously. And all sorts of other horrific things. Get online bullied for being interesting and unique, all the things that we are afraid.

I was just thinking today, So you have to like, now you have to, I have to teach my kids how to, how to, how to, like, call 911 on a phone because we don't have a landline, right? So I'm like, I need them to know. Yeah. How to unlock a phone. And he started, like, choking on something. And he was like, we need to teach the kids out of call 911. Like, what if I'm home alone? Which that teaches them how to unlock your phone. Bad move. I know.

Oh, no. But so that's all to say that, yeah, by the time they're 10, I had taught elementary school and middle school for years and years. and most 10-year-olds, by the end of, by 2020, did have phones to get in touch with their parents. You know, one of my good friends who had a tween had it, like, she gave him her old iPhone that had like a wireless plan so that he could, you know, and you can call 911 even without a plan. But he, so then if he was home, he could use it for like Wi-Fi and texting, you know, but like, but not everything. There's like kid programmed phones you can get like, you know, but I mean, God help me. I absolutely dread everything about this. I think that it's totally normal for 10 year olds to want a phone. I guess middle school? I think maybe 13.

I mean, they will like, it's just like the, I'm sure our parents had this debate about, you know, TV or some parents had this debate about TV when we're young. It's like you don't want, you know how evil it is, but you also don't want your kid to be a weirdo. You don't want your like 12 year old to be like, I can't get in touch with any of my friends. maybe that's a bad example, 13. I don't know. At some point, your kid is going to want to be keeping up with the norms of other people their age. And I do think that it's pretty normal for 10-year-olds to have a phone.

I would also imagine you would get to the age where you guys were sick of giving your phone to the kids to, like, have them contact someone, to have them, like, play around just to, like, shut their brains off. Like, there's going to get a point where you're like, I need the phone so that I can shut my brain off. I don't want to give it to you to shut your brain off. Yeah. I think the major foepa that Nick Cannon did was doing it when Mariah had said no. No.

Because that's just like a dick, especially for co-parents who aren't together, to be like, I'm going to be the fun, Daddy. It's like such an asshole move. And again, maybe they wanted, maybe Mariah wanted to get the kind of phone that, you know, you can get like a smart watch for kids. It's like an Apple watch where they can just text and call. How much does that cost $3,000? Yeah, also, all right, here's the other.

I think my answer is like, I will just push it as far as I can. I'm open, yeah, as long as I can keep them at bay. Other question, I don't think I'll do this, but man, it will be hard not having the peace of mind? Will you be tracking them? Oh my God, no. That, I mean, so first of all, I want to say absolutely no judgment to any parents out there who track their children.

And I say judgments? Go fuck yourself. No, I mean, I get it. I know. I have had extensive conversations. with families I love and know very well who do track their children. I do fucking get through

a lot of laughing. Who acts like a team of FBI agents when it comes to their own children. It's like the teen, and also the kids know, at least in the family that I was talking to, they said the kids know that the app is on. Yeah, that's definitely they should know. You know, they should know.

And if any, this is like very, like the Foucault, what's it called, the Panopticon? Like, if the prisoners see the white, watchtower, it impacts their behavior whether anyone's in the watchtower or not, right? So if a teen knows that mom has- Right, because you're not sitting there and staring at where your child is at all-time. It's like, again, you got all this shit to do. It's just them knowing. I would honestly track, like, my kids, I would put a tracking device on my kids now. Because if they got lost, they wouldn't know how to get help. But I- That would be better.

Right now, I hope, put it on the record. I'll go back to it. My kids will find this when they're 13. and use it against you. I hope to not track my kids because I do feel like it is a, unless the kid is, again, the worst family I talked to is like, the kid knows the kid's okay with it. If you're, if it's working for your family, truly, truly no judgments. I feel like kids deserve privacy and they deserve a sense of being able to do certain

things and take certain risks and go places without their, I mean, can you imagine if we, if our families had known every single place we went as teenagers. Nightmarish, yeah, yeah. But that's why I think my answer is... My sister thought it was bad enough that I just had a cell phone that my mother could get in contact with me. Why is Jackie at a pharmaceutical factory?

What is it in there? That's where my friends go. I'm bringing them lunch on their lunch break. Yeah, I think maybe a... She's been standing out of a corner for a long time now. I think it would almost be like the threat of it. Or if they betrayed my trust enough, they would be on it for a certain amount of time

until they could like earn that. I think it would always be like that cloud hanging over them. Like I will. I could drag you. In a second, make that a thing. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe that's what it is.

Or if they're just like really, really struggling with being like not a complete insane piece of shit during their like, you know, more those years, you know what I mean? And it's very different now because kids now don't have an expectation of my mom can't like get in touch with me whenever. So I think when we imagine, oh, if I was a teenager and suddenly my parents know everywhere I am, that feels like such a huge invasion. Whereas I think that for kids now, that might not actually feel like an invasion because

they're used to their parents being able to get in touch with them wherever they are. So it might. And that's why I truly don't feel judgment. about it because I think it is kids are growing up in a in a totally different context where they're used to being seen being like checked into places where it's not an you're not just moving you're not just a human being moving through the planet like we were with no technology tracking us and and living in the the time period where there was the shift of oh no one knows where you are oh they always know where you are and being able to like be like you know it changed for

from high school to even being in your early 20s of like, man, now you know I see my emails all the time. Like, at least like, we had the sweet time period of like, oh, well, oh, I didn't see the email until I got home. Like, we still had that. Right, right. And now we're contacted at all times. But then you watch the new scream trailer and you realize it doesn't matter if they have a phone

or not. They can still be murdered. The new scream trailer looks fucking amazing. So cool. I am so excited about it. I was just like, yeah. the entire time's like, yes, yes. I love it.

And I've loved all the screams, no matter where or how weird it got. I was always, like, I know that, like, West Craven had a lot of issues in making some of the sequels. But this one looks like it is, ooh, it's back, baby, and I'm so excited. Yes.

I loved it. Yeah, it's got that vibe, like, almost like H2O kind of had when it was like, oh, cool, we can, like, enjoy this again. Yeah, like water had when I first tasted. Oh, my God. I love water. It's really good to stay hydrated.

Oh, it's amazing. You're talking about Halloween. Halloween 20 or whatever. No, no, no, but it has a cool. It's cool. It looks like they're doing something. Who, uh, what's that looking up? Oh, yeah, the director, um, did that movie with the bride, like the, the, the, the,

the, the Western bride, ready or not. Was that any good? It was good. It was great. Oh, really? Oh, I want to watch it then. Um, the, uh, what's her name? She is a very attractive.

Emma Stone, Part 2. Not how dare you. No, Samara Weaving or Samara Weaving is like the, I believe, Australian Scream Queen as of late. Anything that she is in, I recommend that you watch. Outside of Snake Eyes, G.I. Joe Orgence. But the babysitter is such, like, she is an amazing, like, just horror actress. She's so fun to watch.

and I'm very, ready or not was great. But also, speaking of Halloween and H2O, there's also the new Halloween. Halloween kills comes out this weekend. Very excited for that. Lexi, that's like the one franchise Lexi, like, actually just super loves. Love it.

Always wants to see the new one of, which is so excited. So we'll watch it. Oh my God, but this new scream, she's got to see the new scream. It looks amazing. It looks awesome. I like sometimes I find it a little sad

when all the old actors come back. I even, the Halloween kills trailer, I was like, wow, it is so weird that Jamie Lee Curtis is this old now. Like, I'm fine with it. She looks great. Oh, yeah. It's just like time. It's just a reminder of time passing. Time keeps going. It can be hard. But in this case, for some reason, with Scream, I was thrilled. I was like, fucking David Arquette, yeah. Courtney Cox, yeah. I was just so excited to see all of them. Nev Campbell. I did write it in the email. I just love the line. I'm Sidney. Prescott, of course I have a gun. I just allowed

yeah, yeah, you do. So good. You know, there are certain reboots I really just roll my fucking eyes at and this is not one of them and I'm excited because the young woman and I'll like I'll just, I feel like I'll never forget the first time I saw Scream in the movie theater.

I was probably too young to watch it and just I'll never forget being like, wait, Drew Barrymore. Spoiler alert, dies in the very beginning. That was not like, somebody as famous as Drew Barrymore can't die in the first 10 minutes. Yes, I 100% agree.

And I feel like that will always be my prototype for a scary movie. Like, you know, Gideon loves like the thing and like he loves like the alien scary ones. I'm just like, to me, the scariest shit ever will be whatever feels like scream. Like Halloween I put in that same category

too. It's just like that shit scares the absolute hell on it. Yes. Well, this might not scare you, but I think you might roll your eyes at this week's celebrity conspiracy. Do you believe it? Is Bobby Flay not actually a shitty guy? How dare you on this show?

You will go home. I'm sending you back out. No. Next? The whole episode, you've been sitting on this? Next. Hate this. I hate this conspiracy theory.

It's not true. Next. This one came in from Maddie with the subject. line, a defensive Bobby Flay question mark. I love you, Maddie, but next. Wow. I'm here, Maddie. Tell me.

Give it to me. Hi, Jackie, Holden, M.J. Love the pod. Love you all. And boy, do I have a celebrity conspiracy for you. All right. To preface, I'm slightly stone. I've lived alone for the entire pandemic.

Love you. Considering going to grad school for psychology. So naturally, my quarantine activity has been watching all of of Chopped and beat Bobby Flay. And armchair analyzing all of the chefs. All right, Maddie. I'm with you. 100%.

I know page 7, in all caps, hates Bobby Flan. Yes, notoriously. My conspiracy theory is that he's actually a good dude and that the show's producers and editors have made him out to be the asshole. Disclaimer, I've never watched Iron Chef or any of his other TV shows, so I'm basing this theory.

I was entirely off of viewing beat Bobby Fly. Pros. Other chefs like Alec Gawrna Shelley. Alex Gornishelli, yep. She's great. Michael Simon, Sonny Anderson, etc. Like him a lot. As mentioned, I also binge-ch-chopped, and my favorite judge is Alex.

M.J., do you have a favorite judge? I also love Alex. I love even more. I love Alex has, like, a teenage daughter who's just awesome. Yes, so yes, I vote a thumbs up on Alex Cornicelli for sure. Beat Bobby Flay's humor is entirely based on Flay's friends, roasting the shit out of him, rooting against him. He can dish it, but he can also take it.

True. Pun intended. Nice. The newest season of the show had some of the show's employees competing to see who could beat Bobby and both had been working for him for over 20 seasons of the show. If he was so terrible, the employee turnover rate would be higher. Jackie and MJ have brought up the Giata day. I was pretty miserable, I will say, in my restaurant job that I had for eight years,

and I didn't leave because I needed a job. So I will throw that out there. All right, there's the defense of it, but you're not allowed to object. I can't object. I've got something to say about a $19,000 couch that he sued someone over. Oh, right, please, Jackie. I'm already convinced she's bringing, Maddie's bringing me in with the siren song of Bobby Flay.

Jackie and M.J.J. have brought up that Giata de Laurentis has even said that she and Bobby stopped being friends for years as a reason that he's an asshole. But this article, and she links to an article about Giata and Flai's relationship, says that the reason Giata was mad at Bobby is because he didn't take their Iron Iron Chef competition seriously enough. She was pissed, they lost, and Bobby wasn't. And she claimed she was too flippant.

He was too flippant, but maybe she was just a sore. Loser. Because she also sucks. That's the thing. I'm not about to side with Giata and be like she's morally righteous. She absolutely sucks. And Maddie is correct that a lot of people who I love and trust for TV like Sonny Anderson and Michael Simon, not David Simon, that they seem to love him.

Michael Simon, I want him to be my daddy and he loves Bobby Flay. So that is a big endorsement. Here are the cons. Chefs are notoriously douchey. Males are notoriously douchey. Male chefs, notoriously douche. The story about Bobby Flay competing with Morimoto in Japan and disrespecting both the culture and the chef isn't great.

So this is a link to an article about Iron Chef. Bobby Flay notoriously appeared and he stands on the cutting board at one point to hype the audience. His competitor, Morimoto, found that to be incredibly disrespectful to the board and the knives. Yes. Morimoto was awesome. Many knives. I trust it.

Morimoto was amazing. So that did happen in 1998, so maybe we can forgive him and chalk it up to him being much younger and pumped full of adrenaline. I don't really have any examples of him doing anything good. But I also haven't looked into it deeply. And then in all caps, maybe the media has erased any example of him doing good things. So do you believe in the fact that Bobby Flay is being gaslit by his shows producers, editors, and the media? And is actually not a bad dude, Maddie. I love you, Maddie, but no, I don't agree with you.

But I really appreciate. You know what? You know what? And I said it even earlier of like, I don't like only thinking ill of people. I'm sure that he has some good qualities. But one of the things that he did was sue a furniture designer when he bought a $19,000 couch that he said was really uncomfortable. And he waited too long to take it back.

so he sued the company for it being too uncomfortable to keep, even after the designer said, I will make you a brand new sofa to your specifications. I want to make you another couch. I make you another couch. And he still said no and sued them. So that's the example, though. I mean, kind of relatable to wait too long until it's too late to return it. A $19,000 couch.

I would have gone. I was like, I need to feel it. I need to see it. I need to spiritually connect. with something I'm about to spend $19,000 on. So maybe that's just a rich person thing. Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, I actually, you know, I both love hating Bobby Flay.

He's also been sued for labor violations multiple times. Yeah, right. I think that what Maddie is onto is that I think that it's probably extremely awesome to be his friend. Sure. And as somebody who's watched a lot of the show, like, you know, I think that I want to like hang out in his in the back of his kitchen and get drunk with him he'll like he'll pour like if he's cooking with liquor he'll like take out like the like tapperware's and like pour a huge pour for him and then he'll bring one over to like the person he's competing against and it just like it seems

like kind of like a broie aggressive fun question mark like chef atmosphere that he brings and I'll bet that there are I bet that he's a I'll bet that if you're like in his circle he's extremely fun and like But also controversial take Gordon Ramsey and Anthony Bourdain hated publicly, Bobby Flee. And I love both of them so much that it's difficult. It's hard for me. I appreciate it, Maddie. You have all these little cards up your sleeve. Yeah, you got a lot.

You got a lot of citations here. Well, because I don't like to hate willy-nilly. I don't want to just choose someone and be like, I don't like the cut of their jib. I need to have reasons to really, truly, publicly dislike someone. Yeah, you want me to give you my fucking. 12 days of Ariana shitsmith Save it for December

On the first day of Ariana was a shitty person She said Oh to the ariators Fuck you She's friends with Scooter Braun Yeah yeah

It's all good It's all good So I love you Maddie But I'm with Jackie on this one And you know what Maddie I'm whatever. Thank you for trying to change us, though. Like, I do appreciate it.

I'm not like, I'm never going to be like, all the doors are closed. You know, people can change. But $100 million? $100 million. Take your sass elsewhere flay. Because it's time for the list. Oh! Who's on the list?

Jackie, got to have that list. 15 celebrities who keep truly. weird pets and I love that Arnold Schwarzenegger is right on top because you guys remember, oh, the little pony video that he posted for everyone to wear a mask. I refuse to talk about

Chris Brown, he can get fucked. But Arnold Schwarzenegger keeps a donkey and a miniature horse. They're called Whiskey and Lulu and he keeps them in the house. Nice. They go upstairs, they go downstairs, they're all over the place. He, uh, yeah, didn't he do a cute video

with the donkey or the horse when he was talking about. Yeah, right? You mentioned that, I think. Yeah, so cute. Yeah, I love them. But he feeds up little carrots. And Nick Cage,

I love that he's always on these list. Nick Cage has a pet crow and his 16-foot geodesic dome for him to fly in. His name is Hugin! And he apparently understands some language. He says, hi, when Cage answers the room and bye when he leaves.

He also is apparently just a boy in a crow costume. Oh, see, that would make a lot of sense. That actually makes a lot more sense than having an actual crow. I do feel weird about keeping birds in the house. I think it's just growing up with birds. Part of me is like, they should be free. Let them free.

At least he's got the geodesic dome. Especially a crow. I feel like that crow is going to- You're so smart. Don't eat him at some point or murder him. It feels very like Edgar Allan Poe-esque to me. It does. Oh-ah!

But how Poe is it to have? have a pet squirrel, Bob Ross. I remember. Do you guys remember the, have you ever seen an episode when the squirrel will come out and hang out with Bob Ross? And it always,

the squirrel was in beauties everywhere as 1991 follow-up to the joy of painting in which he said, she's the cutest little devil you've ever seen. Oh my God. What is that Netflix special? It's like, Bob Ross. Like, what was that weird?

Isn't that? There's like a creepy Bob Ross story. I'm like, I'm not watching this. It was like trending a lot on Netflix. It was almost like trying to look like it was like a tiger king about Bob Ross. I was like, no one's watching this. I think that Bob Ross and Fred Rogers

remain the only two men who've never been canceled. Right? But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Bob Ross is bad. And I'm just like trying to like quickly read, yeah, it's called Bob Ross Happy Accidents, Betrayal and Greed. It just, and I also clicked on headlines in sex, deceit and scandal. The Ugly War over Bob Ross's ghost.

Oh my God. Oh, okay. So it's like everything after he died. So he was still good, but then people were animals after he, died. That's the problem when you get really successful. All the people you love, everybody around, they just become wild animals the second you pass away. Yeah, unless you have nothing and then they want to pretend like you didn't exist.

Yeah, yeah. And then something else will be able to be more in the ladder category. No, it's all about the battle over his estate. Oh. But also Bob Ross hated his haircut. Oh, no. What? That's a different list, Jackie.

Hair cut. That's celebrities who hated their haircuts. I guess I will, I guess I'll read it. I guess I'll watch the dock. But Prince kept a pair of pet doves that he named Majesty and Divinity. The doves stayed silent after Prince died. But when people began playing Prince music for them, they apparently started talking right away. Oh my God.

Oh, God. Vanilla Ice, of course, has a bunch of exotic pets, including even a pet kangaroo. depends on where he's keeping the pets or how he's keeping the pets, but I feel like I don't agree with it. And it says the kangaroo apparently sometimes goes rogue and once ran off for two weeks while another one of Vanilla Ice's animals,

his pet goat, so he ran off with the goat for two weeks. No. No. Interesting. I don't like anything about this. Pretty sure it's bad. No. Unless Vanilla Ice lives like in the fucking wild bush of Australia, then he cannot have a kangaroo.

I think it's bad. If I had some wild bush in my day, am I right? But I would say, it does look like a goat. So I feel like he just speaks to his goat, brother. Don't be little goats like that. But how much bush would you want from a person that had 14 lemurs? Yes, Kirstie Alley has 14 lemurs,

but she does have a full-time animal caretaker. So that, I guess, is good. She says she doesn't recommend them as pets because they're a big responsibility. and they live for 30 years and eat all organic, among other things. I like to just picture Christi Allie being mauled by a 30 lemurs and being like, I don't recommend them as bad when I am dying. And I would completely, I would completely understand if they all attacked her and took her down, probably.

It's beautiful. Yeah, isn't she awful? Awful. Yeah. But is it awful for Nicole Ritchie to keep a total. of eight chickens as pets, plus a lizard. I think it's fine. I imagine Nicole Ritchie has the space.

The chickens named Ivy, Sibby, Dixie chick, Tallulah, Philomena, Mama Cass, Sunny, and Daisy were introduced in a glamorous photo shoot. And I'm sure she's getting the eggs from that, which is really nice to have chickens, actually, and you get those fresh eggs, and it's wonderful. And I have nothing against pet lizards.

Love lizards as a pet. I mean, don't get a mean one. My buddy Pat had some mean lizards as pets, and I was like, why, this thing just tries to eat your hand every time you feed it and that's like the only thing you do with it once a week. But the kind, friendly ones that would only bite him once a month, were fantastic. Those are the good ones. Yeah, that's fine.

And last but not least, I have seen the videos and if you have not looked up, Selma Hayek and her owl, I highly recommend it. Selma Hayek has an owl named after her husband's luxury company. He's the CEO of Caring, so that's the owl's name. Caring likes to drink wine and likes to stand on Hayek's iPad while she works. watches TV on it. And they have a very cute relationship. I think that there's something in my brain that scares me about having animals that I respect and think that are very smart because I'm just waiting for them. I feel to someday take over and kill me in my sleep. Because why wouldn't

they? Too dark? No, no. I mean, people should not have animals that aren't meant to be kept as pets. And I think that if those very smart, non-domesticated animals turn on the people, then the people get what's coming to them. Try to domesticate them. Can't sing that song anymore, although it's in my head once a month. But in the same way of like, you know, it's like, why would you want a chimpanzee? No, let them be free. You can do like what I did for, yes, I am patting my own back here because I adopted Edward Larson, a mommy and a baby son, gorilla. I symbolically adopted them for him

from the Dian Fosse Foundation. And I did a lot of research and made sure that the money went right to the gorillas. And he does. And I don't know what they're going to spend it on. They just play poker with it. They just play poker with the money. They don't know how to use it elsewhere.

They go to the casinos. I'm like, get out there, gorillas. Have fun with it. Buy a leather jacket. Would that be nice? Pleather. Please, Jackie. Pleather.

But that's it for my list. I wish I could see that monkey in that jacket, but I can't. Because he's... Because I think I'm going. Lined! Items! Here we go.

One was taken from me, stripped from me, by a woman who also hosts this show. It's not fascinating. Bobby plays a bastard. Don't believe the hype. This A-List mostly movie actor who was a long-time superhero

is not dating the A-List singer-slash actress. She doesn't do well with his particular brand of kink. Who's a kinky superhero man? We've talked about our core. Oh, I see his face and he looks just like the others. He looks like me a little bit. It's one of the chrises, isn't it?

Yes. Evans? Yes. Wait, what? We knew Chris Evans was kinky? Tell me about this. He has a sex. He reportedly paid a blind item back in 2019.

Reported that he spent almost $100,000 on a sex dungeon. Okay. And then we talked about how fun it would be to play with his penis in a dungeon. Yeah, that sounds familiar. That does sound fun. That sounds fun. Oh, no, I think it's great.

But who is the person? Is Lizzo? No, not Lizzo. She is a person. Oh, wait. Oh, shit. I just read this. Yeah.

Oh, she's. I just read this. Yeah. Sweenna Gomez? Yes. Damn. Not long after that, she followed her. He followed her Insta dog.

Oh my God. That's when you know. That's one step away from being in a sex dungeon. Yeah, exactly. He followed her Insta and then she was like, hey, let's hang out. And he was like, cool, I've got a fun room to show you. And then she came over.

He showed her the room. And then she was like, um, nope, bye. Thanks for the dick pick. Whatever. Oh, my God. He has had. You know what? because I hate to say it,

he falls in line, I forget which one is which sometimes, but he is the one that had the accidental dick slip up. He's the one that publicly flirted with Lizzo. He's the best one. He's the best one. He's the best one. He's great. And I think that the sex dungeon even keeps him up there.

Oh, I'm very supporting of it. Yeah, it makes him cooler as long as he doesn't get all Armyhammer with it. He's like, I want to eat your flags. Oh, go to heck. Don't get Army Army. Here we go. This streaming service is not happy with the illiterate one

or her puppy husband. They are way behind schedule and what they have done isn't going to work in the context of the project they pitched. Megan Markle. Yes. I knew it.

I'm waiting, you know what? I don't know why, but I feel weird of like what's gonna happen with the two of them? They're taking on a lot. They left the monarchy. Now they have all these insane,

huge deals that they're working on. And that's just such a big, I know that she was an actress, I know that she was in the business, but it's a lot. It's a lot to go from like zero to Oprah. And I feel like it is, like that's where,

what they're trying to do. Definitely. Yeah, they struck a $100 million five-year deal with Netflix and a $25 million podcast deal with Spotify. And they are, yeah, since quitting the Royal Family, a couple of found a production company,

Archwell Productions, and they just started like, there was like, they saw a wire poking from the prince's shirt into his chino pocket as he leaned forward to hug Melba restaurant owner

Melba Wilson Friday afternoon. So it looks like they're starting to shoot some stuff. But maybe it's not, I don't know, going so hot. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, she was on suits, so it's not quite the empire that. She was on suits. She was on suits. All those one word shows, they go into syndication, you're set for life. That's true. We've all seen suits.

Bones, you can't live in the world without having to see suits. Shout us, our friend Megan Boone, Blacklist. I will say, I don't think I've ever, I've never watched an episode of suits. I don't even know where to find an episode of suits. Literally any airport or any sports bar. Yeah, it's on every airport's mini screen is where exclusively you watch it. So I may have seen it before. I just had no idea.

You've watched entire seasons of it, and you just have no idea because that's how like subliminal the show. You know what happens? You know all the characters. Like if someone asked you a trivia question on a trivia show, if you were like on who wants to be a millionaire, you would immediately know the answer,

and you start crying. She didn't know why you knew the answer. And then everyone starts throwing bananas at me. And I'm like, no. Answer the question, monkey, answer. No, I don't know. Just tell you a monkey. All right, here's the last one.

After chipping and breaking so many teeth doing his own stunts, this A-list mostly movie actor just has dentures that he takes out each night. Oh no. Is it Tom Cruise? Look at those pictures again. Wow.

Look at those pictures again. That makes so much sense. His mouth's just all sad because he had a, wow, Holden, you structured this episode so well. You had like all these reveals at the end. Yeah. Wow. I'm murdering it, dude.

Filled up today, Holden. Punch this episode so hard in the genitals. The episode was just like, I'll never have kids. You know what I mean? No more kids, not for this show. No more kids for this show. My revid.

You know, I think it's a fun revenge. I think it's kind of spooky. And you did a very good job today, Holden. Oh, he just had dental surgery. Oh, here we've been calling him a fish. fucking... A fish hybrid. Yeah.

I don't take it back. I think he still fucks the fish, but everything else we said we could take back. He definitely still fucks the fish, but maybe he's not becoming a fish. Just yet. That was great, Holden.

Good dad. Yeah, I can see again. Welcome back. I see clearer than I ever have. That's awesome. I actually need to get my prescription updated. Don't even get me started. I'm scared to drive it right now.

Oh. You know when the lights get bigger and bigger and bigger and all of all of them? I'm like, I don't know if I should be driving at night anymore. Page 7, aging millennials podcast. Ugh, just brutal. You listen to the first episodes versus now, just like, what happened? What happened? We got old, hey, what happened?

But now it's time for the shoutouts. Are you ready? Shout out. Shout. What? it all about. I will. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on.

We'll read it up to you. Come on. Oh, and thank you guys so much for writing in your shoutouts. And now the shoutouts get sent to page 7podcast at gmail.com. That is 7 the number. And thank you guys for being a part of our beautiful community. Kara, I am so, so, so, so happy that you wrote in-yourself shout-out. It fills me with love. Thank you. And fucking congrats on the one-year sober

versary. Kara says Tuesday, October 12 marks my one-year soberversary. One-year alcohol-free and I have passed my state exam and accepted a job as an elementary school special education teacher, a job which I love beyond words. I also own and manage a cleaning business that I started eight years ago to put myself through college for the first time in my adult life as a divorce single mother and sober, I have a damn savings account, Christmas money, health insurance, a retirement, am able to give my beautiful daughter the love attention and healthy life she deserves, but most importantly, for likely the first time in my entire life, I am proud of myself and my life. I am content to be the person I am, alone and successful and strong.

I'm learning what it is to truly love myself at the age of almost 36. Congratulations. Thank you so much for sending me. in and thank you so much for saying that getting sober and staying sober can be a lonely journey because you're fucking right. But we have kept you company, kept you laughing, and kept you positive. I can't thank you enough and thank you again, Kara. And congratulations. You did it! And can I also get a woof, woof for Shelley and Oliver? Shelley, oh, you had me with this shout-out. Shelly says, I want to give a shout-out to my partner, soulmate, and best friend of 11

years. I can't believe we met 11 years ago. Every day with you has been filled with so much love, cuddles, long walks through the streets of South Philly and snacks. I love sharing ice cream with you and snuggling up with you as we catch up on page 7. I feel so bad that I'm missing our anniversary to travel to Disney World without you because I know you could get down with some Mickey pretzels. Please forgive me. I love you so much, Oliver. You are the greatest pug a lady could ask for. I promise to give you belly rubs and chicken. as soon as I can. And thank you, Shelly, for including the picture of Oliver.

I'd love his little nose, and I'd like to kiss his little nose. I'll spend the anniversary with Oliver, if you want. I'm a great dog, Auntie. And also, Abby, thank you so much for writing and sending love to your best friend Jordan on her 30th birthday and double mazzle. Here's what Abby has to say to Jordan. We have gone through all the ups and downs in our life together. I would not want to go through any of it with anyone else.

You are seriously the best person. I'm really excited to tell her I'm pregnant. I just found out last week. I'm so excited to tell her in person and have her moving back home to go experience this journey with me. I'm also so excited for her new chapter she's about to go on. 30 is a real turning point in our lives. I know she's anxious for what is to come, and I know she will make it through whatever comes her way. We will have dance parties to My Chemical Romance and other earlier 2000s emo bands to forget our real work.

problems. Oh, Jordan, I know moving home is difficult, but I'm so proud of you for making the choice. Dudes, I was a different person when I was 30. Life changes so fast. I hope you guys have a great time living in the same town together. Oh, I'm envious, but also, thank you so much down under Maddie for sharing the shout out love. Maddie wrote in to send a little cheer to their annoying colleague Ryan and his fiance, who are going to be. through some extreme stress bullshit right now. And I'm so sorry that you are, Ryan, but I'm so happy that Maddie,

which also happy almost birthday, Maddie, brings a smile to your face. You are loved, and I know that it doesn't always change the stress and the life bullshit, but I hope that it makes you smile, Ryan. I'm sending you as much positive energy your way as I can. And with the power of positivity

and being good, the universe will reward you. Well, not always in the way that we think, but sometimes in a gobsmacked way like that with Tate. A couple of weeks ago, so Tate wrote in and said a couple of weeks ago, I had all of my inventory for my small business stolen out of my car. I can't even imagine. They said it was devastating and made me so sad and tired and over the whole entire world. But last week, some mystery human brought a grocery bag to another farmer's market vendor that had only only, Almost all of the jewelry that was stolen out of my car inside of it. So my shout out goes out to the goddamn universe

because that big beautiful bitch somehow brought my stolen merch back to me. And now that I've cleaned it all up and straighten the bent bits, it's back on the market and ready to bring people joy again. I know somebody out there needs to hear this. Not everything is bad. I listen to you guys when I make stuff and I can't see certain pieces without thinking of fish fucking or now breast milk ain't even mad. Thanks for all the joy you've brought to me during the Pandidi and Beyondy.

And also, guys, please look up at Playshop on Insta and at C to see some of the miracle jewelry. I have to check it out now. Again, that's at Play Shop, not the ad symbols, A-T-P-L-A-Y-S-H-O-P. And oh my God, I love your love story, Jordan. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Jordan says I wanted to write in with an anniversary shout out this week for my partner, Chase. We had big crushes on each other in high school, but never dated, then ran into each other in our hometown after college, and he swept me off my feet with a picnic and an outdoor screening of Beetlejuice, and the rest is history.

Chase, I love you more than anything, and I'm in awe every day of your kindness and compassion as a person, and your talent as a writer and filmmaker. You brighten my entire world, and I can't believe we went from sitting in the same high school classroom studying the crucible to now 11 years later, celebrating our sixth anniversary in Salem for Spookies. And I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you both. And thank you so much for sharing your love. And I've got another amazing love story that made me burst into tears.

Thank you, Mark. But Mark, don't worry. You know, if you didn't make me cry, I was going to cry at something. but he was sending his sweet angel pants Cindy a love letter shout out. Mark says, I just want to send a very special anniversary shout out to my super sweet angel pants Cindy. We met in 2005 working together at a bottle depot. I was the manager. She was a bottle sorter.

We became friends and when she started buying weed from me, flash forward two years, we're close friends, and over many drinks, I tell her I have a crush on her. Flash forward another two years and we're getting married. two years after that and our twins were born. They are 10 years old and I don't like to brag, but one of them is transgender. And the date of that night I confessed my feeling to my friend, which were then reciprocated and changed my life forever, was on October 13th, 2007. So it's the 14th anniversary of the good part of my life starting. Please tell my gorgeous angel that I hope we have another 14 years. But that's it.

Oh my God, I love you, Mark. And I have, oh, God. Congratulations. Mark and Cindy, I love your love. But now it's spooky, spooky birthday time. For Anita wrote in a birthday love shout out to their bestie Brooke, who turns 29 on October 18th. Anita says she is the most accepting person in the world. She goes above and beyond to show her love to all her friends and deeply cares for everyone. Also, she recently got a new job and starts in a few days, so I'm extra excited for her 29th year.

Happy birthday, Brooke! And, ah, don't be scared, it's another spooky birthday! And this one goes out to Bailey for Maggie and Chipper! They say they'd like to give a big spooky birthday shout out on October 14th to our best friend Bailey. She's one of the baddest bitches around, killing it, not literally, nursing during the pandemic with Grace the whole way through. Out of her now 25 years on this planet, we have been inseparable for 15.

My fiance and I are so excited and honored to have her as one of our co-made of honors in our wedding. We love you so much and wish you all the best on your birthday. Love, Maggie, and Chipper. P.S. Bailey is not allowed to bring her ectoplasm to the Halloween party ever again. I don't know what that means, but I will say, is it as horribly disgusting as I'm imagining in my brain? I hope that it is. And also, Ashley, thank you so, so much for the self-shout and the shout-out to teachers. Ashley writes, I'm writing in a shout-out to myself because I did a thing that was hard and scary for me, and it paid off.

After busting my tail for two years as assistant director at the tutoring company I worked for, my insecure anxiety-ridden ass stepped up and advocated for myself by asking to be promoted earlier this year. Congratulations. It's so fucking hard. A few months and another exercise in self-advocacy later, I am now the director of education at my center. Ah, congrats. It's so hard to stand up for yourself at your job. But thank you also. Ashley continued on to say, I'd also like to send a shout out if you could to all the teachers in classrooms and behind screens across the country. Before my current job, I also taught in the classroom. And I know firsthand how stressful and demanding the classroom is. I know that the pandemic has increased that many

times over for you all. You are all doing incredibly important work and you deserve recognition for your abilities and your hard work. Please know that all the loud, obnoxious butt trumpets that give you a hard time, there are so many more who appreciate your investments into our kids. And those investments will pay off in the personal and academic growth of those you teach. Thank you so much for saying, that Ashley, I'm so obviously, I'm honestly so inspired by the selflessness of teaching. I wanted to be a teacher so

badly, and it has always truly terrified me, and anyone that teaches in any capacity will forever have my praise and my genuine gratitude. And thank you guys also, all the gratitude out to the world for everyone that wrote in their shoutouts this week. I love you guys

very much, and again, hit us up, and even if it's just to say hi, I read everything. over at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is 7 the number. And they love you. Thank you guys so much again for writing into page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I just did a burpee in my mouth.

And I'm not talking about the exercise move. No, no, no. I'm talking about burping up my lunch. And thank you guys so much for joining us today on page 7. I had a great time and I hope you guys did too. and I hope that you go and listen to OK Computer if that is what you need in your day. And maybe it's not what you need in your day

and you don't want to fuck it the way I did. Oops. Check me out. Twitch.tv.4. Holdenators ho. Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. They're back, baby. Which is very exciting unless, you know,

my baby has a meltdown or something. And then I'll have to cancel. But for now, Monday, Tuesday, Friday are back, ready to attack, and we're feeling great about it. Also, special shoutouts to the page 7 podcast at gmail.com email, especially because I'm just going to throw it out there. I tend to use y'all celebrity conspiracies now almost exclusively, and the next conspiracy will be number 69.

Nice, noice, noice. So I am looking for the sexiest, horniest, it might just be fish-fuck conspiracies, we'll see, but either way I'm looking for specifically a hand, Handpicked curated hornball conspiracy theory for our next episode. I love this. Thank you so much.

Please. I think I'll step in there. I'm MJ and MMK. Stepping in that make that Holden just left for you, MJ. Yeah, step in that dirty sludge that I left. Yeah, slide around in it. Orifices that came out of. I'll swim through that.

Oh, it just like, don't bruce. You treat some of them I'll give you a hundred bucks. My name is Jackie Spousey. My name! And you can follow me on Instagram but check that worm. And you can come hang out with me over on Twitch.

Twitch. combe, forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We have fun. And then on Fridays I have fun with Holden over on Holden's thing. And then we smiled there. And you should come smile with us

because it's spooky season. And I'm having fun. Wait, did MJ give their plug? MJKL Cat on his. Instagram. I thought you did. I think I did. I was too busy swimming in the sludge.

I can't remember if I got it out. I was trying to keep my head above it. I was trying to get my head above it. Go find your sludge, everybody. We love you. Talk to you this week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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