Page 7 - Ep. 423: Hottieween

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

Happy Halloween Cutiez! This week we're discussing the baffling tragedy from the set of Rust, and then we’re gossin’ 'bout KJ Apa entering Holden’s realm with his mommy milk coffee, Megan Thee Stallion's ghoulishly gorgeous Pinhead Costume & Hottieween, Vin Diesel’s potential plot to walk Paul Walker's daughter down the aisle and Jackie’s specific pro-family stance, Ed Larson’s potential (tragic) reality show “12 Kids and Counting”, Martha Stewart and Yung Gravy’s unlikely collaboration, Lil Nas X’s Kidz Bopified Montero and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Is Phoebe Bridgers a psychic vampire!? Breaking News about Chris Evan's sex dungeon (turns out, it's not Cap). Also a frightfully fear filled List, and Blind Items with a hauntingly familiar pair of mustard stained pants!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Springheeled Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. I'm a zombie Are you scared? Uh-oh is me like Watching me I wish everyone could have seen The look on Holden

in MJ's face Of what I just did They said I'm gonna sing I'm just feeling somebody's watching me And then what do I do Uh Jackie's a zombie

Halloween playlist That should be on the Halloween playlist It's got to be on some of them Welcome to age seven, everybody. We were talking about spooky, scary songs, and I love singing Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, but I think that this year is a little bit shrouded in a different kind of upset.

And yes, we're going to be talking about Alec Baldwin. And yes, I feel like we've only been talking about Alec Baldwin, but that's because off of this, Holden and I stream on Twitch. And we have been yelling about Alec Baldwin and what's going on. And the thing is, the key for everyone is to remember that there's going to be a lot of lawsuits, and that's why not all of the information is coming out about it,

as it shouldn't. But the information that has come out is baffling. It is horrifying. The AD who yelled cold gun, even though it had fucking live rounds in it, before handing it to Alec Baldwin, was fired in 2019 because guns were going off on this movie set. There were, like, so many red flags, you know,

the people walking off of the film set. Was it earlier that day, the day before because of bad regulation. Because of unsafe conditions. Yeah, and specifically sitting around a couple of misfires of the gun. The fact that there were even the cinematographer and the director

were even standing in front of Alec Baldwin when he was rehearsing, even though no rehearsal was called. I mean, it's just so mind-numbing how much shit went fuck-all for this to go wrong. It's so wild. That's why I keep talking. about. I think is I find out a new thing and I'm just like, guys, seriously? Could there have been

any more fucking things pointing you in the direction of like something's wrong here? Like, um, unbelievable. And it's been this amazing journey from like, for me of like, oh my God, like I'll shit on it. I like Waldwood all day for a lot of things, but I felt such like empathy for yes, especially hilaria. But like, I felt such empathy for, you know, I wouldn't wish. this on my worst enemy. Like what an awful tragedy. And now we have like leapfrogged several steps from that to be like oh, it's not actor Alec Baldwin.

You can feel empathy for him. It is producer perhaps producer Alec Baldwin. Oh yeah. Perhaps in his role in overseeing the bad working conditions unsafe working conditions on this very production. The you know the budget issues that perhaps led to the staffing issues and

labor issues that led to this unsafe thing. So it might actually still come back to Alec Baldwin. It's like such a tragic sadness. He's going to be, you know, and he's cozy and up apparently to the deceased person's husband, who is apparently a super lawyer. Big time lawyer. No wonder he's.

There is definitely going to be many lawsuits coming around the van. How you say, you're fucked. Yeah, it is. It's very upsetting. And like the worst part of all of this is that it isn't even just like, oh, the gun went off or and that it hurt someone. It's the fact that it took a life as well. Yeah. And that these are, like, I'm hoping that with everything that is going on with the union already.

Right. And the fact that the union crew that had left this, so they hired non-union people to come in, or at least that's what it is seeming as right now. It's being reported. Yeah, by the L.A. Times, too. That if they were union workers that were saying that there were unsafe conditions, that this really, Aiazzi needs to be paying attention and that this needs to be a part of the conversation of like, yes, they didn't do the full walkout protest. But maybe they fucking should have because things need to change. People need to be watching these. And honestly, even as someone that has worked, I did Top Elf. As you guys know, big hit.

It got canceled this year. No. And I did Top Elf last year. And even using like the saws all, like the saws that you have to like go through that we as elves had to use, we had safety meetings and protocols every day at the top of every single day. To the point they were like, yes, we know how to. to use it. Yes, we have to have the goggles on. And it was annoying to us, but also, I appreciated it because not only are we using it that are not people that are, like, we had to be trained to

use all of these things, but also there's children around. And also there's people around. And everyone should be, especially with something like this, where, of course, it brings up the conversation about Brandon Lee and the Crow. And then even his family has now spoken out of, like having all of this stuff brought back up again. And it is multiple errors on multiple accounts. And the fact that they didn't even say you have, you were supposed to announce like all of this should have been on lock and key. Yes.

And it's crazy to be. And it's, as you said, Jackie, it is a hundred percent a labor issue. Like, and at first it was kind of maybe like, oh, is this just like a tragic fluke? And then it became so immediately clear like this was a labor issue. This was about the union crew, like. saying like these are unsafe working conditions, right? And like not being listened to. So yeah, man, it's like, and I actually remembered after the fact that on our high

maintenance episode there was a gun. And it was like a huge thing. They stopped the whole set to be like, this is the props. We're opening it. We're showing it to you. It's like very, very regulated. I had totally forgotten that. But I was like, oh, remember on the high maintenance episode that we were on, there was

the snake. Yeah. And the same thing of like everyone was made to know, like, are you comfortable around snakes? Like we are going to have a live snake on set. They are going to be in the scene. And everyone got to meet the snake. We got to talk about the dudes and the don'ts with the snake. It was very safe.

It was very safe. I felt so cared for. And same with the gun because I am not like I didn't grow up around guns. But then they gave the snake the gun. That was the part where I was like this is getting out of hand. And Akon Dita does what Anacondita will. You're like you can't, you can't stop it. There's like now we're going to hand the snake the gun to show you that the snake also.

knows how to use a gun. Like, I don't need the snake. Joby, do you use the gun? Because I was there. I was also, I was one of the guys in the high maintenance episode? I was in the back. Non-union snake, so the snake didn't have enough training.

I'll tell you what, you know what? And I want Gideon on this one. We're putting Gideon on this one. All right. Representing the snake. I'm sure whatever he's doing. I'm sure whatever he's doing is not very important right now. Put him on this gun safety situation going on out here in Hollywood.

Gideon would definitely represent snakes. I think that's something he would. He would probably we happily represent all of the like prop snakes of Hollywood. Are we allowed to talk about the trial that Gideon is currently working on or nay? I think I can mention that, you know, I have been promoting it on my Instagram if people want to find the link to watch the live stream of this trial that's going on. There's an inquiry into the NYPD killing of Eric Garner happening all this week and most of next week. you can go to my Twitter or my Instagram to find out like the schedule of when it's happening and

the link to watch. But yeah, Gideon was one of the lawyers on the team representing Gwen Carr, who's Eric Arner's mother. So yeah, that's where my brain has been at all day. I've been watching that. He's doing such an amazing job. It's such so, I don't know. So send out your positive energy towards Gideon, towards a legal team just for just where we're fighting and he's fighting. And it's not great. I just want to say what I do is pretty important to. I mean, I make people, I bring light to the world with laughing. What's more important than that? It is also important just in a very different way.

It has been, for the last two weeks, we've been, you know, trying our damnedest to avoid some of the less pleasant things happening in pop culture. And then this week, it's like, oh, we'll just make everything much, much worse. And on top of that, my brain is totally on this extremely serious and devastating, you know, judicial inquiry going on. And so I was like walking into it to record today. And I was just like, all right, it's game time. I'm right trying to smile. Put a smile on your face. I mean, personally, I blame Jackie.

Jackie was like, I want not enough spooky stuff happened this last week for Halloween. I'm a little bummed out about it. I hope next week a lot more spooky shit happens. I did this. And literally later that day or whatever it was, like the next day. I'm too powerful. All this spooky shit started fucking happening. Now we got lives lost, you witch woman.

I'm too powerful. And I guess you know who also is too powerful this week? Kjie Jepa. Oh, shit. And I need to see thank you guys. We've got Kjiehepa and his milk pumping wife. And I am, I know that in this world that we like to make our japs, that how like someone out there is listening.

It's just like, then things like this happen of what a colliding of the world. Yes. Of breast milk and Riverdale in one article of KG. And if you guys have not seen it, I highly recommend you seek out or maybe not if you're not into it.

KJ. Appa on TikTok drinking his wife's breast milk. No, definitely watching. Normalize grown men drinking breast milk. I think it's completely fine. And I'm willing to take this. to, I don't know why I would have to do this, but take it to the Supreme Court. I am happy to do that. It is absurd.

Tell us stop at the pesky trial he's working on right now because we've got things to say. We've got some things to say to some judges right now, MJ, and I need Gideon to represent me while I say those things. A motion to fucking drink this fucking mommy milk, baby. It is so good. And I'm so glad he's into it too. I haven't had it in coffee. I had it in a white Russian, though.

Absolutely delicious. And I've had it just pure as gold. itself. Silky, delicious breast milk from my wife just directly out of the cup and I drink in front of hundreds of people. I'm going to stop me for a second. And I'm just going to

get back up and give just a slight bit of context here. In addition to, I assume every listener knows that Holden likes to drink his wife's breast milk. Sure. But well established, I think every week now going on between one and two months. However old your baby is,

I think we've been talking about it for that long. Since you got back from your paternity break, yes, I think we've only been talking about breast milk. Look, I've got, many people have been hitting me up saying thank you for finally speaking for my people. Oh, I'm so happy for you. Who sing the angry songs of angry men who want to say, hey, we're men and we like that milk. And you know what I mean?

Talk about normalizing something. I mean, this is the breast milk of the people that will not be pumped again. But also probably most listeners know that we that Jackie and I love Riverdale. And KJ. Ape is Archie and Riverdale. He is like, he's like a real go back and forth between I find myself either repulsed by him or deeply attracted to him. He's, he's a Kiwi, I believe. He's from New Zealand. Yes.

And check out his TikTok. If you were on the fence, I will say he's very weird. Yeah. And I think I love how weird he is. Yeah, I know. I also am disturbed. I really oscillate wildly on his TikTok. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want you to be anybody other than Archie on Riverdale.

And then sometimes like, I'm like, oh, you cheeky, Kway. Yeah. He's so cheeky. He is very cheeky. But so imagine our mentions and our surprise when KJ. Appa from Riverdale puts breast milk in his coffee on a TikTok because everybody who, I think everybody, like if I didn't know what our metrics were, I would know by the amount of people who tagged us. or sent this to us and at every single one it made me smile. I love it when something like this happens. And all three of us get the first one and then they just keep coming in and coming in and

keep it coming. I don't want to be able to look at my phone without seeing KJ. Appa drinking breast milk. Well, especially because this TikTok came out the day of the Alec Baldwin shooting. So was like I did like there's sometimes in this life that I need something dumb so badly to take me out of a bad. brain space of thinking about this young woman's life that was lost. And I was like, you know what? Look at how silly KJ. Appa is.

And I needed it. And thank you guys very much for sending it to us because I just, I guess he listens. He has to listen. He has to. He must. We have a whole podcast for him. I hope he doesn't listen though because on our, I hope he doesn't. All we do is talk about how much we hate it.

We shit on him all the time. It's like, this fucking idiot. He's the worst character on the show. Screaming about KJ. All the time, so I hope that he doesn't. But Holden, do you feel now that a young, hot star is doing it? Do you feel like your life spirit is being kidnapped? Well, first of all, yeah.

At first I was like, you're stealing my brand. They all steal my brand. You know what I mean? But maybe that's just, maybe that's just paranoia on my part, right? I don't want to, like, hate. I want to spread awareness that grown men should be allowed to drink their wife's breast milk or whoever's as long as it's consensual. You know what I mean? I will say that.

But the way that you said young and beautiful sort of... Celebrity, yeah. It's kind of like you're saying I'm not those things. No, you are. I just feel like a slightly intensely intensely insult. No, no, no, no. Slightly, but very intensely in that slight way. No, no, no, no, no.

You are more experienced. Like, think about your life experience. Do you want to be, do you want to be a young celebrity? No. But how old is, KJ. Epa can't be more than a decade younger than Holden. I'm hooking it up right now. I have no idea. Especially when he comes to remember.

He's younger and he's more attracted to me. It's great that he's doing it. And it's so funny to me. The best thing about breast milk is it makes people so, like, icked out. And it's actually just delicious. So I don't know, you know what I mean? This is going to make you sad, Holden. I have the year he was born.

Okay, what is it? 1997. Wow, that's a great year for video games. I think it's Aquina of Time. We're back to our rewind on 1997 to find out how much older we all are than KJ. It's a great year for pop culture, which we all remember because we were all at least tweens. I was Final Fantasy 7, Tomb Raider 2, Golden Eye on N64, Couslvania Symphony of the Night. This is one of the best years of video games.

The beginning of the original benefir, yeah. I mean, there's lots of things that we remember from back to Latin. And I think that, but I now think that you should reach out to KJ. Appa Holden. And this is our in. Yeah, more like KJ Krapa. Wow. Well, now he's never going to talk to us. Yeah.

If he was still with us after all the shit we've talked to him, but now it's KJ. Krapa that's going to really turn him on. We need him in our corner, you know, especially because I don't think any of the other Riverdale stars are going to be in our corner. Although I hope Lily Reinhardt is in our corner. Yeah, and Cheryl. But we can only hope. We can definitely only hope

I thought about going a Cheryl for Halloween this year and then I was scared of people being like, yeah, what are you fat Cheryl? Like, oh. Next time that we're in person and we can do next time we're in person and we can do Halloween together, maybe even if the

Halloween, you know, the Heidi Kloom Halloween party ever returns to be a fixture in our life again, we should all be a Riverdale ensemble. Costume, wouldn't that be so fun? I would love it. I would absolutely love it. Oh my God, Holden, you can go with Skied Ulrich.

That'd be great. But yes, also this year, I am just going as a big fat, stupid idiot. No. You can't. No, but you're a daddy. That's your costume. For Winnie and I, and Lexie and I are just

look at each other like, I don't fucking know, man. Let's just wear a sheet and be a blanket. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I love you, Holden, but you know everyone wants to see the baby in a costume. That's what we're here for. I'm just gonna like throw her into the room and run away as if like, you know what I mean?

Oh no, like in mother? I won't say like in mother. Oh, how dare you bring up mother right now? Good. Talk about, man, a snake getting a gun that movie. Jesus. Snake got the gun and that fucking two hour long.

Oh, God, so upsetting. It's one of those. That's just one of those movies. I think about it too often. I love it. I actually really enjoyed my, I love the odd pacing of it. but that's why we're going to talk about it

for the next 20 minutes because this is now a movie review podcast. Today's episode's on Mother, the random selection of Mother. Everyone would be so mad. Anytime I've watched Mother with other people, they're like, why would you make me watch this movie? I'm like, I just, it's really intense.

MJ, I don't think that you would like Mother. I know. When Mother came out, everyone was like, don't watch it if you have a kid. And so I feel like... Especially if you have a baby. Yeah. It's anxiety producing like a motherfucker.

So I have not. There's a long list of things I think that like the show Broadchurch. I'm glad I watched before having a kid. I will not watch it again. And I think unfortunately mother is just, I'm going to have to wait till my kids go to college or something. That's fine. Train spotting. You know, anything that just has like an upsetting baby in it.

Yeah. Yes. But I think that you definitely can be watching Hottie Wien. I can't stop looking at the picture of Megan the Stallion in the Hellraiser costume. I am obsessed with it. I'm upset because I want to be her and I want to be with her. And I'd like to figure out a way

to ever possibly feel the way that she might feel because her pin head costume is, I think, one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. It's awesome. It's, yeah, she figured out how to make it sexy. It's cool because the pins are coming out

of, like, the front of her face. Maybe that's kind of why she gets really strong, almost like drag-like face makeup, you know what I mean? It's very extreme and pops really hard. And man, she's got a big ass. God, she looks so good and she just has the, my, I just, it was for a while that, you know, when you just look at a picture and just like, usually I like me, but then you look at a picture like that and just like, I could never.

Can you imagine me trying to wear pleather straps like this? I'd be like, I need candy. And that's what would happen. Dude, also, I hadn't really scoped on this haughty wean party, by the way. Yeah. Happens in Atlanta. How do we get in on this?

I mean, hey, we could be like, hey, we've been to Heidi Klumes. Yeah, we're VIP. We were VIPs. We know how to stand around and pass around a bottle of vodka. Like we're a bunch of 12-year-olds at a shed. We were cool enough for that. Can we be cool? You know what I mean?

Can we be cool enough for you guys? Yeah, this looks fun as hell. Good. Yeah. Yeah. This is the thing about Halloween costumes is that it's hard to go all out as an adult with a Halloween costume when you don't, especially in a pandemic when you're like, I don't even know if I'm going to be at a party. And if I am going to be at a party, it's probably going to be with the same eight people I see all the time. So like, do I really want to dress like Megan the Stallion?

You know, I feel like to go to do. that's that much, you gotta be like, you gotta know that you're going to the Heidi Kloom Halloween party and, and, you know, because otherwise, you're just sitting in your apartment like a weirdo watching Trias of Horror all decked out. Although there's nothing wrong with that either. I'm very, very into that. In fact, I mean, a friend of mine, I was so excited because Jeff and I are going as Kurtz Russell and I'm going to be Squirt Russell and I'm going to be Snake Pliskin. And a buddy of mine was like, oh, have you been, like, working out? I wanted to be Snake Bliskin one year, but like, I don't have the guns for it. And I was just like, man, I don't either.

No, no, bodies, shapes of bodies should not have anything to do with what costume you can be. Sexiness is for all. Yes. And guns are for all, the muscles, not the actual guns. Guns for none. Guns for all, guns for none. That's my presidential campaign. That is why this year I've revised what I'm going as. I'm going as a sexy big, fat, stupid idiot. Well, no. Wonderful to see me that way. Holden, I should just give you my serpents jacket and you could be go with Skid

Orwich for Halloween. I really think we could even do a distance virtual. Oh, no, you can't. I'm sorry. I just realized you can't because there's snakes on the jacket. And Lex doesn't like snakes. She hates snakes. Terrified of even the fakes of snakes.

That's why she would have hated to be on that movie shoot with you guys for high maintenance. Oh, my God. No. Holy Lord, yeah, that would have been a whole issue. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, my husband's obsessed with snakes. And so I had to like, I didn't even want to tell him because I couldn't remember if it was a secret.

So I didn't even tell him until the episode came out. But I was like, you're going to really like this episode. You're going to really like it. Not just because I'm in it, but there's something else you'll really like. And he was so excited that there was a snake. Why does he love? So he loves snakes like Lexi hates them. What does he love so much?

Is it as irrational as Lexi's fear of them? He's a snake boy. You know, like just a classic, classic snake boy. Just like went to a camp when he was a kid called Animals Nobody Loves, you know, that was like, Of course he did. That's a tour. Lots of pictures of him as like a skinny 13-year-old just holding many snakes in his hands. Oh.

Animals, nobody loves. Yeah. Damn. I was the, actually, I was one of the animals. No, you were. That's your Halloween costume. I was the big, fat, stupid idiot at the cage at the end. And, yeah, a couple people hugged me, which was nice.

But to be fair to Lexi, I think it's pretty normal to not like snakes. Maybe her vehicle goes beyond the normal. It's just that, yeah, it's just that, like, seeing even the sight of one on television or a just completely fake rubber one sends her into, like, an intense panic. Did she grow up? I have somebody in my family who grew up in, like... Florida. Yeah, Florida upbringing.

I don't begrudge her this. Yeah. Other than I just, I like snakes. Because I think that it's a childhood. If you're like, somebody in my family grew up in Oklahoma and would like walk out onto their like ranch and see snakes. And they don't even, we're not even allowed to say the word snake in front of her. We have to call them S's. Whoa.

Well, that she's an adult three-year-old. Well, I'm glad though, because I was going to put a bunch of S's in my pants for Halloween. but I thought about Lex was like, I can put S's in my pants. Yeah, if Lex is there. Your pants? S is out of plane. I was gonna take the S's and throw them out

and be like, that's me! I was gonna put S's in my pants, but when I say S's, I mean little shit. It's gonna put a bunch of little turns in my pants and ruin the party for all to be hold. That's right, the big fat stupid idiot strikes again. He was here to ruin your party all along. No, I don't like that name.

you'd be the party pooper. But then you have to shit on the floor. I'll go as the party pooper. I'll cover myself of my own feces. Yes. And some of Winnie's. And, you know, maybe Lexi'll lend me some are hers. Make it a family affair.

I'll show up. I'll be so stinky and I'll be like, I'm the party pooper and I'll just run around and ruin the party. I'm actually kind of very into this. I kind of love that. That's so funny. Well, I would love it if you took your party pooper outfit to Meadow Walker's wedding.

Yes, it's family. It's family Vin Diesel walked. Paul Walker's daughter down the aisle. This is another one that I got tagged in a lot. Now, you know what? I thank you guys enough because you know how I feel about family. And that is, I like it. You're pro?

Yes. Yeah, I'm pro family. I'm into it. But not in like a pro-life pro-family way. No. Yeah. I'm pro. You have it a family and keeping it over there.

I'm very pro it. And I think it's awesome. and I love it. But I also don't know if I love anything more than Vin Diesel's powder blue suit that he wore with the just unbuttoned white shirt underneath it. I'm got the fresh white shirt. He brings it straight from the set,

straight on to the wedding. I love him so much. I love him so much. I hate how much I love Vin Diesel. He's such a weird human being. I went on a very weird, journey in my mind when I was at first, like, scrolling quickly through your email because I, the word me, of course, made me think of Meadow Soprano. Of course. And so then, of course,

I thought of like James Gandalfini. And I was like, did James Gandalfini have a daughter that Vin Diesel is walking down the aisle? And obviously, no of that makes any sense. But I was like, why would Vin Diesel, was Vin Diesel close with James Gandalfini? And this was like the, I was like so close that he would walk. James Gandalfi's a daughter, don't I? Yeah, I agree. I thought it was also going to be, yeah, I thought it was also going to be, yeah, it's so weird, right, agreed. There was just this bizarre sopranos. What if they did that though? Sopranos versus FAST Furious. They pitted the two families against each other, and that's the ultimate family fucking badge. Who would win, though, because the thing is you got to think about it. I feel like,

I think the Fast and the Furious would win, and that's saying something for me. That's difficult for me to say. When in what sense? What is... A great battle for their lives. They've got more... Technically, I think they have more money somehow. They're international super spies.

They have all these crazy cars and stuff. They're international super spies. You know, I think they've got better, like, tactical traits. But Sopranos, they're down and dirty. They're streetwise. In a way, the fast... Boys will never understand.

You know what I mean? And they'll fuck over a family. And sometimes being able to fuck over your own family just as good as sticking with them, I say. I mean, there's nobody who's ever been able to get away with, there's nobody who's ever been able to get away with anything in the sopranos. You will always get killed in the soprano universe if you hurt someone. So I don't understand how the Fast and Furious people could even compete against that.

Right, right, yeah. It is a weird, it's just a weird, a buddy of ours. You're fucked. How you say, you're fucked me. I don't know. I don't even know. You know what? I'd have to somehow find a joke out of it.

And that's the one I chose. Do not get upset with me. I'm just literally trying to give my gift to the world. You gotta give you a gift. Which makes me as valuable or even maybe more valuable as Gideon. You know, so it is what it is. Always compare yourself to Gideon and what he is giving back to the world. Snake boy.

Snake boy. Always so adorable animals. I'm coming for your snake boy of jays. A line has been drawn in the sand and it's a little squiggly line in the shape of a snake. And I'm coming for him. Don't tell that to Lex, though. This is all, I feel like it's all intertwined now. I'm scared of all of it.

This goes deep. This goes really deep. Yeah. Yeah. It's especially tragic when you come from because you and he have almost the exact same set of interest. So with you guys, it's going to be like a bad, it's going to be like a nerd battle to the death.

That's it. Citing different trivia about Star Wars to each other. But don't worry, MJ. I will also, when I, after I kill him, I will replace him. Oh, are you going to absorb? I will be the Vin Diesel. I will escort your children down the aisle. Wow.

After I'm murdering your husband. That is the only way in which you'll replace them. Not like the daily work, but just just the walking down the aisle. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll just walk one of your kids down the aisle once. Not the other one, though. Not the other. You can choose which one, but I will forcefully walk them down the aisle,

even if whether I'm invited or not. And all the time they're just like, I don't want to fucking walk. down the aisle, you stabbed my dad. You can't kill Kadyin. I do wonder, though, is it, was it Meadow Walker's choice for Van Diesel to walk her down the aisle or did Vin Diesel decide? And I don't know. I, of course, I'm completely reading into that.

But I can just imagine, you're like, no, I'll do it. No, I walk in. And she's like, well, no, no, it's okay. Okay. Uncle Vinn's fine. I hate to be a serious Susan right now, but I would say the detail in there that he is, in fact, the godfather. He's the godfather.

to Paul Walker's daughter would point to the fact that he did not force his way into the wedding ceremony, Jackie. That's insane. I don't talk to my fucking godparents. I haven't seen them in 20 years. I don't know them. If they just showed up and like,

now I walk you down there. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Randy is it? Get out of you. I've already hired this talking dog to do it. Hey, Alshigua, it's been ruff. How great would that be? Holden, am I?

gonna be the godmother of your child? No. Okay. Maybe. Do you want to be? Yes, I want to be. I'll be so good at it. Can you imagine? That's right. We haven't completely decided. There's been a bit of a debate. And I will say, this is a testament to Ed. We were maybe going to ask him, but he's already the godfather to like 10 kids. I think 12 children is the godfather of. That is how beloved. Could you imagine being that loved in your life that that many people want you to be the godfather of their child.

He is that guy. Can we make the absolutely tragic, a fictional in acting of the tragic yet hilarious scenario? All those people get on a flight to go to Ed's birthday. Cheaper by the dozen. I think it would be great. But then we see that's how we do it. We sell the reality show and then we'll make money off of it.

So don't worry, guys, we turn everything into money at some point. So, well, it'll be perfect. Yeah, big dumb ads, bunch of fucking kids or whatever. I don't know, you'd name it. That was a bad title. Cheaper by the dozen. We're taking a bunch of dogs We're taking it.

Oh my goodness. I'm ready. I do remember Henry is the godfather of our nibling. And him being asked to was the kind of thing. Oh, he's like, you want me to do it? All right. I just remember him holding her in like he'd never held a baby before. And like he was doing a good job of it, but she didn't like men with beards,

So she screamed, like, they're screaming the entire fucking time. And it was very funny. But all right, I'll do it. Thank you, Holden, for asking. And I am ready to take care of your child. You are welcome. Also, a reality show in the making. Yeah, for sure.

Got Brother Jackie. This reality show is Jackie trying to figure out ways to kill Holden so that she can take the baby. So that she can take, yeah, so that she can inherit the child. I like that. I like that. MJ, don't, you can't reveal my long come. What are we going to say? I'm sorry, Jackie.

No, what did you say? I said it, we'll call it National Treasure. Aw, me. It's not me. Jackie's the National Treasure. The child's the National Treasure. All right. Knits and then he steals the thing.

Nick Cage steals the thing. What else we got? How are you doing, Holden? I feel like your brain is at a capacity. I'm all over the place. Well, I will say, I thought it was going to, to be doing this episode like a few hours later than. And I think I should always try to trick myself like that because I feel like it made

me funnier. So I will attempt to do that. But I am here to just completely drive this car off the road as much as humanly possible. Jackie, take it away. I love it. Martha Stewart and Young Gravy. Now, the thing is that I made you guys watch this because I have become aware of Young Gravy because I have a partner.

who keeps me in the loop of a lot of the young people's things. And at first I was like, I hate funny music because I kind of do. And he's like, but just check out Young Gravy. And I very much enjoy Young Gravy's spirit. I like, because it's like legitimately fun music that also happens to be a little bit silly. So the thing is, is that Young Gravy is called Young Gravy. And Martha Stewart is making these frozen meals now that she's selling. And I only knew about this because I had.

happened to see the ad on like Hulu or something, that Martha Stewart is now working with young gravy to put out ads, that she was the one that was completely down to work with him. And if there is anyone, I know that obviously it's Martha Stewart's team that is making these very good connections with her. But man, she knows exactly what she's doing. it's the smartest, like, promo stuff I see. Because between that, like, working with Snoop Dog and, like, being a big stoner herself,

but then just having this outside, like, if you listen to the Martha Stewart episode that we did of pop history, she is such a, or like everything she does has a purpose. Right. She knows exactly what she's doing. She knows exactly what she's doing. And that's so cool. Like, even down to the fact that she's leaning in to being a second. The sexy older woman, the woman that has it all, and just putting out their traps and owning her space.

And I just needed to bring it up because, wow. I feel like, like, obviously we love a bear for Contessa in this house. But I feel like what Martha Stewart has that Ina Garten and a lot of other in their cohort, I think, don't have. What Martha Stewart has is like self-awareness to the extent to. which she's like obviously was like, well, it will be funny for me to be like partners with Snoop Dog because that's like a funny contrast. And I'm not certain that Barifocontessa has that self-awareness. Although perhaps we learned that she did when she made that giant cocktail in court. I mean, I don't know if she, yeah, I don't know if she's the zaniest person, but she is fun.

And so please listen to Young Gravy's Martha Stewart's song. So she was like already aware of Young Gravy before she started working with him. And she liked the song so much that they reached out. And even in the ad, like on his phone, the background is the third strap picture of her in the pool that she had taken and posted. And it's just, I hate the commercials, but every once in a while, isn't it nice to smile? Yeah, I'll go with it. We've got a lot of corporate cute going on right now in these stories. But, you know, I'm just kind of doing a crash course on all young gravy over here.

He did get his first big hit with Mr. Clean and then one thought, two thought, red thought, blue thought would be the other one. That, of course, stands for that hoe over there. And yet he's getting involved with Martha Stewart approaching these microwavable meals. You know, I think that ad people are just getting younger, I think. So smart, though.

And honestly, Jeff brought up to me, he's like, you saw this, another commercial that he had sent to me that is Megan the Stallion who did a, because we were talking about this, doing the, like, celebrity crossovers with food.

She's working with Popeyes to, has a, like, hot chicken sandwich that is, like, her sandwich.

But in the commercial, they were playing the thought girl song, or like, the, the thought, like her thought song, over it.

Another thought song. Okay. And it just did it, like the, uh, thought shit. That's what's called. It's playing thought shit

in the commercial, which is not a song for everybody. and they still are using. I've never, I guess, at the same time, I feel old as well as so proud of things for changing quicker than I feel like they used to. Yeah, right, fucking who was really,

who was super against this kind of stuff too would make a what, Tipper Gore flip out? Who was the big? Definitely be a Tipper Gore. Dropping the Tipper Gore in the chat. All right. Yeah. Tipper gore.

And also, yeah, anybody, any fan of like the Reagan presidential years is just so upset right now if they're still alive and I love to see it. Well, yeah, and there was actually

just a bunch of recent scabble. A bunch of conservatives were scandalized by Megan the Stallion and Cardi B's performance, what was it, at the 2020 Grammys? 20-1 Grammys?

Whap? Yeah. So she still is like, or at least to the extent that she's a controversial figure she's held up at least right by like some family values people to be like,

this hoe over here, you know. So I guess good on Popeyes for, good on her, whenever a celebrity has a commercial like that, I used to be like, but now I'm just like, get that money. Get that money. And I mean, also, I also wanted to bring up the Hottie Wien web series. When I was talking about Hottie Wien earlier, because I'm having a bit of a Megan the Stallion moment right now,

she created this web series where she plays a private investigator in a haughty wean that is very much like a blade situation where she was a PI finds out those vampires, gets bitten by a vampire, and then it's just a hot, sexy vampire PI that I watched the episodes of. You can find it on YouTube because I was looking up just the phrase haughty wean is so delightful. And I had no idea this was like three years ago that she put out this. this web series. And she's just so much fun. I love her. And I know that you listen, Megan Nostalian.

So hit us up if you ever want to hang out or we can like dress like cinnobites together. And it would be fun. Another just funny use of like inappropriate songs in like stuff for younger audiences. Lil Nas X posted the changed lyrics for his kids' bop version of Montero. So instead of, what is,

what is it? I want to sell what you're buying. I want to feel your ass in Hawaii. I want that jet lag from fucking and flying. Shoot a child in your mouth while I'm riding. Instead of that, I want to lie on the beach in Hawaii. I want that jet lag from living and flying. My favorite line, put a smile on your face whilst we're dying. What? So funny. Sorry, that was I was pulling up when you started talking about the Meg of the Stallion song. so funny. I can't believe KidsBop too. Are there not so many parents that are like, hey, this is like a really dirty song this is based off like, what are we, you know what he mean? But they just, it's fine. It's so funny to me. It's so like my experience from working in an elementary school with KidsBop is like obviously the kids know the normal songs, but like teachers, I think depend on kids' pop because like teachers know they'll get in trouble if they play

the normal songs. So like teachers will be like, oh, okay, we're going to have a party. Like I'll just turn on like the kids' bob. But, But also it's like, to me, I love this because it's great because the kids, even if the kids know the regular Montero, they don't, they're not going to get anything for the most part. Until they're like 11 or 12 and they want to find out, they can figure out what that lyric is about. But like kids who are too young to know about it, they just don't know about it, you know. Like so just like when we were kids and we were walking around singing like, baby, I like it raw, you know. And so like they're, you know, they're talking about carrots. Yeah.

So I have vegetables. I love this because you have this completely unnecessary kids'bop version, I think, because kids who need to be shielded from it just won't get it. And then when they're old enough to find out, they're like probably old enough to find out. But then you just, now you have the option to have a completely innocuous version of Call Me by Your Name played at your next kids party. And I think that's probably a win-win for everybody. Put a smile on your face whilst we're dining. We're dining. That is, it's a mouthful.

Honestly, you know, while we're here, and I am going to use this opportunity, to yell about the article that I included in our email this week, that I know it has nothing to do with pop culture, but I am personally offended by the fact that these two people have been called out. I'm sure you guys have seen the headlines everywhere, of that these two people were in Disney, and one person, it was, it seems a man was wearing a shirt that said,

I gave her the D, and the D is like the D in Disney, and then the woman's shirt said, I wanted the D, the D like in Disney, and people went mad. How dare they? Wear those shirts to Disney. Kids don't know what that fucking means. Yes.

They don't know what it means. They're allowed to wear the fucking shirts. It's not even like, you know, I understand that, you know, when I get dirty looks, if I'm at a park and I have my no shirt on, I'm like, oh, well, I have a no shirt on. I get it.

But they are white shirts that say, I gave her the D. And if you are so nervous about your six-year-old reading that and understanding and being like, sexualization at the Disney, get fucked. I just, I'm so mad about it. I'm just,

I shouldn't be this mad about it. I thought it was a weird move when you went to Halloween Horror Nights last week wearing a shirt that just said, I love sucking fucking dick. Yeah, and it was fine. Nobody kicked me out. Jackie, please. I don't understand why we have to advertise these sorts of sexual desires.

I love the idea of that six-year-old being like, what does I gave her the D mean? And then a parent being like, I need to give you the real adult explanation now, as opposed to being like, she wanted to go to Disney. And so they went, like, just figure it out on the fly.

And again, if your kid's like 10 or 11 and you think they might get it, then they were going to find out around this time anyway. And then they're going to go, which is what we still as adults do. Like, it's the same reaction. Yeah, it's a funny shirt. Well, do you think you might get this fucking

and celebrity conspiracy? Ah, do you believe it? Is Phoebe Bridgers a psychic vampire? I hope she is. Nothing. You can all kiss. It's a spooky edition. Celebrity conspiracy, number 70, by the way.

Celebrity conspiracy, getting into its twilight years. Yeah. Absolutely. This one comes in from Stephen who says, Good morning, Jackie, Holden, M.J. I'm a huge fan of page 7 and all things I'll P.N., and I'm thrilled to finally have a celebrity conspiracy of my own that I think is worthy of writing in about.

Last month, I went to Phoebe's show in Boston as a birthday present to myself. Mini shout out, I turned 26. I had a seat in the fifth row, and as I stood in line thinking about how much I was going to cry my eyes out in front of her, I began to wonder if that might have been exactly what the bisexual singer-songwriter wanted.

Honestly, I could prove my theory right now, with just how on the nose her physical appearance, is very pale skin, unusually blonde, almost white hair, and beautiful yet haunting facial features. But I don't think she's prowling around in night and biting the necks of unsuspected pedestrians, at least not during a pandemic. Anyone who watches what we do in the shadows.

We'll tell you a psychic vampire is very different from that what most of the classic movie tropes would have us believe. A psychic vampire, someone who's able to drain the life force of another person through non-violent means. This can be done with something as simple and subtle as conversation. In Phoebe's case, however, it is my wild and irresponsible accusation that she not only feeds off her friends, lovers, and romantic partners, but that she also purposefully drains her fans en masse to the most powerful method of

beautiful, vulnerable, and depressingly relatable music. As one of her stance, we're collectively known as Farbs, and as somebody who is also by, I can testify to how powerful her music could be, especially to her target audience. Her two solo albums, Stranger in the Ops and Punisher, mostly consists of songs about her past romantic relationship. Here's some lines from some of her songs. I am sick of the chase, but I'm hungry for blood.

Whoa. And there's nothing I can do. Here's another one. Okay. I am sick of the chase, but I'm stupid and love. and there's nothing I can do. I'm gonna kill you if you don't beat me to it. If I breathe you, will it kill me?

I love a good place to hide in plain sight. Interesting. Either I'm careless or I want to get caught. And here's the most damning of all. Sometimes I think I'm a killer. No. She also did a cover of a song entitled You Missed My Heart, a song about breaking into an ex's house,

murdering the ex's new partner and successfully stealing back the heart of the ex. Her second album, Punisher, is where the evidence actually gets really damning. The title track Punisher is about her love of her favorite artist, Elliot Smith, someone who proved how much emotion you can elicit from people with only some sad personal lyrics and an acoustic guitar. Most importantly, the title of the song itself refers to people Phoebe calls Punishers. People who can drain you with their overwhelming love and admiration, something she admits she would have done to Smith if she ever could have met him.

Sound familiar, the album might as well be called psychic vampire. Wow. Yeah, it also might peak MJ's interest that Phoebe has a few songs about her complex storied and sometimes, quote, punishing relationship with Connor Oberst. The picture Phoebe paints of her life through her music shows that many of her partners, Connor included, seemed to develop an unhealthy attachment to her, almost as if they're under a trance. Yes. She's arguably the most popular in the artist right now, so I'm sure she's been.

eating very well. I don't know. Maybe I need to stop smoking weed every day. Let me know. Definitely not. No, smoke weed every day. Smoke weed every day. Very creepy, spooky

edition for Halloween this week. What do you all think? Is she a psychic vamporess? I love that this is basically like Phoebe Bridgers is Colin Robinson. But for emo. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, the more you think about it though, and I believe in what we do in the Chedars, there was also an emotional vampire as well, right? that he meets at the office, almost more akin to that character even than Colin Robinson. But either way, I think it's some damning evidence. I just love the idea that emo music, like these pale, gaunt, very vampiric-looking musician stars

are probably also literally feeding off of their audience. They're all fucking vampires, bro. Damn. Well, I believe. Yeah, I'm with it. All right, there you go. In and out. Wow, that was a great.

So you don't need to stop smoking weed. every day. No. That's helping you. And I think that's awesome. And I can't wait to go to see Phoebe Bridgers live and she can take my life force. I don't care. She can have it.

Hell yeah, dude. Take my wife force. Am I right? I don't know. Whoops, hold a bit dumb one. All right. Let's move it on into the next segment. I also do want to say, I want to give a quick thank you so much to Victoria who wrote

in, who did, she explains something to us that we were talking about last week. Victoria wrote in about Chris Evans' sex dungeon. And I think this is very important for us to find out. That it's actually not the Chris Evans that we think that it is. It's actually a very different Chris Evans who has that sex dungeon, who is actually a badman, who is a British DJ, and also a known sexual abuser that has the dungeon and not Chris Evans, who is Captain America.

And it really destroys... Man, you got to. have a non-abusive sex dungeon. We need to have more positive representation of sex dungeons that aren't held by bad men. Yes. So if you have a sex dungeon, just hit us up and be like, I'm not a badman and I have a great sex dungeon and we say, yes, good for you. And it makes me happy for you because it made me, and now, and I like it because Victoria did say, I'm sure Cap is still a freaky, sexy dude. But sadly, he doesn't have a 50 shades of grace.

a place to smash it. And I'm just like, man, I hope he still is. Because the things that I think about, well, he is in my brain. Yeah. And that's what matters most. I don't think that that's true. But what matters might be the most is on the list.

Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. It was a one to transition. What might matters the most is on the list. It was a weird transition. It is a big week for a spooky, people. I think we're all tired, but yes, we have the list. And the list is creators who were

inspired by their own fears and nightmares. Now, this is a good, just like amalgamation of a lot of the best of the best when it comes to horror. Now, Freddie Kruger was partly based on a hat-wearing drunk man who once frightened West Craven almost to death, apparently for fun when Craven was a Freddy's name in turn comes from a bully who used to terrorize Craven. So bringing the reality into the fiction, but in a very creepy way. H.R. Geiger! Oh, we all know a Geiger! Suffered from night terrors, not just regular nightmares, but a debilitating sleep disorder. He began sketching his terrifying visions as a form of art therapy for the condition.

So a lot of what he created actually is what was scaring him in the middle of the night. and isn't that horrifying? Most notably, all of his artwork is haunting, but of course he did the xenomorph design for alien, among many other things. But, I mean, it is absolutely terrifying. And, man, his art books, we used to go to, like, Best Buy. No, which one had the art books?

But anyways, we'd go and we just, like, hide in the corner and, like, look at his art books back in, like, middle and high school, whatever, and think we were so crazy. But they were all very disturbing and of a sexual nature as well, very upsetting stuff. Oh, yeah. And also, I mean, honestly, even just thinking about sleep paralysis and if you guys have not seen the nightmare, which is the doc on Netflix, it is truly, it is a, it's very horrifying. And just thinking about a xenomorph, like, right above your face, like, with the dripping, like, in that scene.

Yeah. I just think of it right in front of your face. And I don't know if that's necessarily exactly what was coming to him in his sleep paralysis. But if it was, yikes. I know there's a lot of stories of like things on your chest and not being able to move and something right in front of your face and very scary to think about and what else is spooky? Laundry! Or Stephen King thinks to think so. Stephen King has a visceral aversion to laundry.

King had a job washing industrial laundry, which was often revoltingly filthy. Have you noticed how often clotheslines and the washing of linens are featured in his work? often in an anonymous way. And if you think about it, that scene, which is like this is the part, like in the article, it is Pennywise, like the original, like the Tim Curry version of Pennywise in between the white sheets in the original it TV movie from the first VHS. And it is one of the creepiest things. I was also scared of laundry lines because of the movie for a long time. Yeah.

Because as it waves, you kind of like think that there's something behind it, but you never really know. Also, wasn't it the conjuring who did a really good job of that? Like, they had that moment where the sheet falls off the line and then it like, it looks like it forms a person and then it like, oh, it's so hard. Yeah. I mean, scary sheets. I understand. You know, I was making a chape at first and I take it back. And James DeMonico has had a lifelong fear of guns.

He's the creator of the Purge series. he says there's nothing scarier than getting shot. He sees the purge as a metaphor for America's obsession with guns and violence, and unfortunately, I think it goes hand in hand with what we were talking about on today's show. Very. But, chat, I love the purge series, very fun. Oh, yeah, so much fun. And I do love all of them for different reasons, even though I know that they're not necessarily all very good.

But the idea of it. And I think that's really what it is. I'm always watching it because, like, the idea of the purge is so fucking scary to me. that like anytime like if you walk through like a haunt like they had like some of the purge haunts up at Halloween Horror Nights this year and just the idea of it of just people being allowed to be as bad as they want to be um makes me sick to my stomach wait what's Halloween Horanites that's just a haunted house you went to Halloween Haranates is the universal studios it's like the big the big haunt area that they like they change during Halloween time so it's a bunch of different

haunts that you walk through that are usually based on movies. It was a lot of rerun haunts from years before because it was like greenlit at the last minute. So it was like there was a really cool poltergeist one and there was a cool. It's like you just like walk through and it's they scare. Gotcha. So it's like and there's different like scare zones. But I would say if you are ever interested in doing a haunt place, MJ, we have to go to

Notts Scary Farm. And Not Scary Farm is what Notts Berry Farm. six flags. And so it's got great coasters. So you go and you do the haunted stuff, but also all of the coasters are open. So at night, you're just like on these roller coasters and people like all around the park are like,

ah! You just hear the screams throughout the park because you're like riding coasters in the middle of the night. We did that a couple of weeks ago. And it was a lot of fun. I love to be scared. And do you like to be scared of spiders? Like Peter Jackson? Peter Jackson

had Shalob from the Lord of the Rings be based on the tunnel web spider. The tunnel web spider is a very scary looking spider. But apparently it is a harmless but scary looking spider from New Zealand that Jackson hates above all other spiders. And that's saying something as he is an arachnaphob. Oh my God. And New Zealand, not a great place to be an arachnophobe, I would imagine.

I can't imagine it. I mean, in the same way of not liking snakes in Florida or not liking spiders in Florida because, man, they are big. and they jump. You don't find that out until you move from New York to Florida at a young age. The roaches jump and the spiders jump.

The roaches fly. Yeah, yeah, awful. Oh, God, the flying. Oh, I'll never forget when I first found out. I'm not going to think about bugs right now because now I'm all scared. And I'm also scared of the fact that David Robert Mitchell, when he was a child, had a recurring nightmare

of being slowly but relentlessly followed by, dot, dot, dot. dot something. As an adult, he added an SDD angle to the dream and turned it into It Follows. It follows as cool. Yeah, I really like it follows. Yeah, because that's another thing of like,

you imagine just being a kid. And also, I had a recurring nightmare of a tidal wave when I was younger. It's why I'm now scared of water. I'm just having being a young child and having the constant thought in your sleep and someone's following you. See that some eyes watching me

And it's very scary And that is your list to do Yes Fantastic stuff And thank you Jackie for that list But no thank you to mine eyes Because I think I'm going What?

Items Oh, we can't see them All right, here we go A fun round of blinds for us today Let me start with this one Man, this person sucks, huh? We all hate this person. This network talent show had to reshoot a segment

because this A-list, quote-unquote, singer, didn't have her wedding ring on. She said she would have an hour-long fight with her husband if he noticed it wasn't on. So the ring was brought from her dressing room, and they shot the whole dumb segment again. What a shit-ass person. This person is.

Ariana Grande is. Yeah. Yeah. She got married. She got fucking married, which is evil in itself. Only Holden's allowed to get married. She stole that from you too. Oh, my God.

Why did she get married? Did she get married? She saw, I had a tattoo of a Chinese conji saying, like, what was it, Barbecue Grill? And then she got it as well. That's one of my favorite things. It was misspelled. It was supposed to say seven rings. And instead it said, I believe, barbecue grill.

She had it tattooed on her arm for the longest time. Yeah, they just got married earlier this year to someone that I don't think that they were seeing each other for very long. But, you know, everybody's got a different life story. Yeah, whatever big dick energy is fucking your, Ariana Grande, the voice is the answer.

There he is. It's Dalton Gomez. It wasn't Pete Davidson. I know that you were, I saw where you were going with the big dick energy. Yeah, I know. But I guess it's Ariana that is the only. one that has the big dick energy. It's interesting how she licks the donut

and a store that people go into wanting an honest good and she went in there and she elicked the honest good making it a dishonest good. I need you on this case. I can't wait. Right now, Gideon.

I need you on. To be our personal lawyer that we can just sue whoever we want. Yeah, let's get back into the 90s when everybody was sue happy, you know? We're taking them all down. We're taking every one of them down. Love it.

But even that was good. All the Sue happiness in the 90s was all good suits. Yeah. The hot coffee suit was a good one. The hot coffee suit. Just like the dingo ate my baby. Like the hot coffee is one of those like ridiculous, like everyone got it wrong when it happened. Thing.

What show was that on? Like there was a docu series that got into it. I just remember watching a full episode of it because like I had no idea that of what the, the, extent of the burns were to this woman. Like, it's insane. There's a documentary about it called Hot Coffee and also the podcast you're wrong about, I think, did it recently. And it is very good. But it's so good because it actually, like, that was kind of like the go-to example of, like,

the overly litigious 90s. Like, everybody's suing about everything. But it was, like, actually, like, a very, like, important thing to be like, which coffee shouldn't give people third degree burns. This is like dangerous. This is very dangerous and this should not be. Absolutely. Ariana Grande, so, you know what I mean?

I guess you're finding yourself maybe looking in the mirror and not really liking that person you're seeing across to me. So I hope that you take a moment. I know you might listen to this. You're still talking about Ariana Grande. Yeah, since I just want her to know, since she steals my brand. So obviously she listens to the show,

I want you to maybe rethink things because I have a powerful lawyer. and he will fuck your shit up allegedly in a court of law, bro. I love this for us. Allegedly though, because I don't want to get, you know. It's all alleged. I don't want it to be a threat or anything,

but allegedly he'll fuck your shit up. Next up we've got this one. Someone asked this A-list dual threat actor who made his fame late night whether he would ever date this B-plus list illiterate actress again. He said she is a special kind of crazy and would not be dating her again.

He's sort of freshly single. You love him these days, Jackie. The actress is kind of considered to be, I would say, a bad actress, who was a part of a very popular prestige TV show that no one talks about anymore, but was like the show for a little while. That's not Sopranos.

But around that time. So who is this person again? You say, I love him. Okay. Yeah. He got his fame late night, but not on like a late night talk show. more so on a late night comedy variety show, I would say.

Variety show. It's live and it happens in New York. Oh. Wait, which, who do I like? It's from that show that's now on a very popular show. Oh, Jason Siddakis? Yes. Oh, I didn't send you guys the damn sketch.

I meant to send it to you, the one that Natalie sent me. Of S&L, he did this sketch where he was the teacher at a parent teacher conference and this couple was there to talk about their kids, and he starts, like, hitting on his wife, and then the wife starts hitting on a back, and the husband was like, I'm right here! And it's very sexy. Jason Siddiquis is a very attractive man.

Wait, who is he dating? For a while back, he dated a person whose first name is also the name of a month. January Jones? Yeah, dude. Apparently they first got together in 2010 following his divorce from screenwriter K. Cannon. But it was short-lived as he moved.

moved in with Olivia Wild just a few months later. Apparently she's nuts, bro. Yeah, January Jones has been nuts, right? Yeah, she seems nuts. Yeah, she's a little nuts. But that was fun when she did the bikini shoot with the skeletons in her house. Oh, yeah.

That was kind of fun. I always enjoy seeing her every year and the end of love, actually. As one of the hot ladies in Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She, of course, was on the TV show Mad Men. And, you know, it's kind of funny. No one fucking talks about Madman anymore.

It's as if it didn't exist. along with Game of Thrones and all the other ones. All right. I think it goes through the cycles, though, because right now I'm living vicariously through a buddy of hours. Mike Lawrence, who's an amazing comedian, who just started watching The Sopranos, and so he's been posting about it.

And I'm just, like, frothing at the mouth of like, I'll talk to you about this. Right. Can we talk about it? I'll talk about it with you. Yeah, yeah, exactly, because it's so long gone. Yeah, nobody cares. And the new movie was disappointing by most accounts.

But the show still holds up. And I think Mad Men is probably something that doesn't, that was, certainly the whole series does not even compare to Prano's. I think it was fine. Not a lot happens in hindsight. Like I think that's the weird thing with Mad Men. Like stylistically, as a period piece, it's awesome. Yeah. It's like a acting showcase. Apparently the writing too. I know multiple writers that really like Mad Men. The writing is very good. But when you look back at like what happens in the show, it's not. Not a lot of stuff.

It is very weird. It's just like a very, you kind of just want to get lost in that era a little bit. Yeah. And they all cheat on their wives, so you're gonna watch all those fun. It was sexy and hot and like,

right, really well done and really well dressed. I think as a text, it might not hold up to some of the other. Or just as a like, what at all happened in that show? You know what I mean? Like,

that changed over the years, right? I couldn't honestly get into it. I think I watched the first, like the half of the first season. And multiple people are like, oh, you have to keep going. I was like, I just didn't care that much. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's the problem where it's like, you know, you take a show like Succession. Like so much shit has gone down in the two seasons of Succession, right? Like, uh, anyways, though. All right, we don't have to get too far into it. I, I think I'm rehatching a story with this blind item, by the way, but I want to reread it because it's just so,

talk about like the KJ. APA milk drinking thing. This is like so on brand for page seven. The, uh, you'll understand what I mean in just a little bit. Snooky. Mariah Carey. No, no. This permanent A-list, mostly movie actor who is an Oscar winner, finally has confessed that his publicist at the time

was the one who first spread the rumor about the other A-list actor and a gerbil. Oh, yes, this is all the... Oh, my God, an officer and a gentleman, pretty woman, Richard Gear. And it was Sylvester Stallone? Yeah, because they have a feud that started... I love this story so much. Stallone. Talked about the feud he had with Richard Gear.

this happened while they were filming the movie Lords of Flatbush. This was what Sloane said. I think we've talked about on the show. It made me laugh earlier this week, and I was like, I just have to, we have to rehash this. Selin said, he would strut around his oversized motorcycle jacket, like he was the baddest night at the roundtable. One day during an improv, he grabbed me. We were simulating a fight scene and got a little carried away. I told him in a gentle fashion to lighten up, but he was completely in character and impossible to deal with.

Then we were rehearsing at Coney Island And it was lunchtime So we decided to take a break And the only place that was warm Was in the backseat of a Toyota I was eating a hot dog And he climbs in with half a chicken Covered in mustard

I was eating a hot dog First of all perfect right And he climbs in with a half a chicken Covered in mustard With grease Nearly dripping out of the aluminum I said That thing is going to drip

All over the place And he just said, don't worry about it. And I said, if it gets on my pants, you're going to know about it. He proceeds to bite it. He proceeds to bite into the chicken and a small, greasy river of mustard. It's like a murder of his guy. And a small greasy river of mustard lands on my thigh. I elbowed him in the side of the head and basically pushed him out of the car.

The director had to make a choice. One of us had to go. One of us had to stay. Richard was giving his walking papers to this day. Seriously dislikes me. Salona has since spoken about how Gear blames him for the gerbil rumor. But he denies it. But this blind item is reporting that he finally did admit that after that mustard chicken

grease mustard incident. Man, it's going to drip all over the place. I love it. Which one had the hot dog and which one had the mustard? Salone had the hot dog. Stallone's telling the story. Richard Gear is the one strutting around like the baddest night

at the round table with his mustard chicken. First of all, I've never even heard of a fucking giant thing of chicken covered in mustard. Half a chicken covered in mustard, I guess. Some street food from Coney Island at the time. I've been in Cody several times. I mean, a lot of the street food from Cody Island.

I've never heard of just a fucking hunk of chicken covered in mustard. That thing gets a little. on my pants. I love it. Don't worry about it. It's just the most like, it's so absurd that it's real is so funny to me. And then that Salone countered with the most brilliant revenge story ever, spreading this absurd rumor that now everybody associates with Richard Keir. That at one point he had to go to the hospital because he had a gerbil stuck up his ass. Yep. It's still, in my brain, it's still canon, even though I know that it's not true. I think the moral of the

story's almost like if you're gonna spread a revenge rumor about somebody, make it so fucking ridiculous that like people just have to believe it because like why, you know what I mean? It's so absurd, you know, don't try to be like he's cheating on his wife. Be like, no, he fucking sucked an elephant's dick.

Yeah. I do love it too because it does kind of remind me of the the big rift between Vin Diesel and the Rock as well. I don't know. There's something about just like like two grown ass men on a movie set.

I don't like him. I hate him. I feel like the Vin Diesel and the Rock one is fun because they're kind of like two of the same type. Or Richard Gear and Sylvester Stallone are like two of the opposite type. Which is why it was hard. Because I thought that

that Stallone was one eating a hot dog. But then as I was listening to it, I was like this story also could be told by Richard Geer about Stallone. You know, like they become one. in a way that is surprising given how different they are. They're like, the opposite, not the opposite poles of masculinity, but they are at two different spots on the number line of masculinity, you know?

Yes. Oh, yeah. I mean, if you think about Rambo versus Pretty Woman, like they are very, it's a little different. I do love the story of, I just love how much they dislike each other. I think it's kind of fun. Love it. And then afterwards, he's like, yeah, we sticks your job was up his ass. I was like, what that's what he immediately thought to do?

A grown man got his publicist. A grown man successful enough to have a publicist. Made that person spread a rumor about Richard Graven's trouble obsessed. And it worked. I think that's the most important part. It worked. Because it was back in the day before people could look it up. And people could like immediately find out if it was true or not.

So, of course, how many papers did it sell? How many, like, magazines did that sell? So many. Yeah, what are you going to do? Call every hospital in New York City. I did it. I did it. I went in for a gerbil up there is.

Or him just calling up papers. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. It's like, how do you prove you didn't do it? Yeah. Show us that in. All right. Well, I can see.

And I think that means it's time for shout. Shout. Shout. Shout. These are the emails that you wrote in a box. Come on. We're gonna reap it to you. Come on.

Allison, thank you for us and in the shout out. I'm very sorry if you are sick of people singing that song to you, but I love that song and I love you. And happy 30th birthday from the beginning of this month. And I'm so proud of you. So Allison hired a photographer. She brought in her own makeup artist

and styled the outfits from thrift, stores and discount purchases in a big 30th birthday photo shoot. And you wanted to give a shout out. And I just want to say, this is amazing. She says, the whole experience was so much fun and an empowering way to kick off my 30s. She says, I'd also love to shout out my incredible photographer, Simone Ray Photography in Round Rock, Texas. This experience was made so much more special because of her.

And I'm so grateful for her professionalism, her creativity and collaboration. and also her work is sick. Check out at Simone Ray Photography, S-I-M-O-N-E-R-A-E-F photography on Instagram and Facebook. If you're in the Austin area or if you just want to see some amazing work. Allison would also like to shout out her Austin-based Fiber Arts Club, which is pronounced Aw Stitch. I get it. And they are having their second annual auction of fiber arts cross-stitch embroidery sewing at etc, benefiting a local nonprofit out youth. She's on the organizing committee, and everyone who is put in time to plan,

create items, and help spread the word is so special to me and makes me feel like we are community doing something great for a local cause. The auction is November 10th through 14th, and you should totally check it out online because it will be hosted there as well. Go to www.a-a-a-U-S-T-C-H dot org for more information. so much, Allison. Again, that's Simone Ray photography and Aw Stitch, like Austin But Stitch. And you should totally look it up, awestitch.org. Now, Claire sent in a beautiful birthday shout out. Claire says my birthday is on October 26th, and I am turning 25 years old. Happy birthday! I've been such a fan of the

last podcast network since 2017, but I began listening to Page 7 last year when we did the pop history about the Macy's Day parade. Thank you so much. much, Claire, and I'm so excited because my favorite time I'm here is coming soon. And I love that she says, I laugh so hard about the idea of baby cages and talk about it every chance I get. Claire continues on to say thank you for giving me laughs during long car rides and motivating me through hard times. I've been trying to walk an hour every day. Congratulations. And when I listen to your podcast, I feel like I'm hanging out with you. And Claire goes on to say something I've learned during this pandemic thing is that you can't expect others to give you happiness all the time.

and the best thing you can do is do nice things for yourself. Thank you so much, Claire. You are so completely right. Every single person has something that they should celebrate aloud and be proud. And thank you, Claire, so much for the reminder. I also want to send a shout out and thank you so much, Melissa, aka Mel Brooks. You know who you are from our beautiful Twitch community. Thank you so, so much for the beautiful kind words.

And for gifting Holden and I, the experience. Oh, my God, last week. We got to sing after all to each other on the Twitch Holdenators channel. And it was so much fun. And yes, I'm talking about the share, Peter Cetterra, huge hit. And I'm not going to toot my own horn here, but we killed it. I guess honk, honk! And I want to see, thank you so much to sideshow for the amazing email.

We're so proud of you for working so hard to make positive changes for you. Side Show is another member of our amazing Twitch community. Come hang out over on Oh No, it's Jackie. Come hang out over on Holdenators Ho, where we have our Jackin with the Holdies on Friday. And Side Show said, I started making and releasing music regularly. I traveled to New York by myself to meet internet friends in real life and shot music videos for an entire weekend together. Quit my toxic-ass job with no plan and landed a position at a cannabis distribution warehouse the very same day. It's a dream come true and I've been trying to get into the industry since 2012.

I just needed to give myself a small pat on the back because I deserve this break. Damn it. I'm finally in a position to recognize all the hard work that went into simply surviving, let alone all the emotional torment I had to endure along the way. Now I get to look forward to going to work because I made the decision to finally put my mental health first. I hope the same for whoever is dealing with similar situations. I'm eternally grateful to your beautiful Twitch community for, existing because you have supported me throughout the struggle since the beginning of the pandemic.

You and Holden have provided a space for people to feel acknowledged and celebrated for being themselves. You're both incredibly exuberant souls who inspire others to live unapologetically. And for that, I thank you with all of my heart. Thank you so much, Zai, Joe, aka Joey, I really appreciate the beautiful words. And it is what we're trying to do and come hang out with us. I believe in the power of our positive communication with each other and it makes me feel good. and it will make you feel good. And we have greetings from Bonnet, Scotland. I'm sorry, I won't even try to continue doing that.

I'm very sorry. Allie, thank you so much for writing into us. They say, this year I've been pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And as a bit of an introvert, I've been inspired by fellow listeners self-shoutouts, as well as the confidence you, MJ, and hold in display. So my birthday is October 29th, and I can't wait to come in from work, pour a glass of wine and sing along with your theme tunes. I'd love a birthday shout out to raise my glass to as this sleepy 33-year-old gets boozy enough to dance in the kitchen.

Hell yes, hail you, Allie, and I hope you have this smiliest to boozy dancing birthday, and that you are the sweetest to think of other people first. You deserve the birthday shout out. Much love to you! And, oh, dude, Cyrus, I am so fucking proud of you. Cyrus wrote in and said, I decided to give myself the gift of a self-shout because I've been going through a tough time. So, dear Cyrus, keep your head up because there are a lot of people who love and support you no matter what.

You're a few weeks into being sober for the first time in 13 years. Very, very big congratulations to you, weed and booze. And remember not to lose sight of the clarity that sobriety is bringing you, no matter how difficult being faced with your past behaviors can be. Every day is a new chance to feel a new love for yourself. I'm going to burst into tears, Cyrus. I definitely 100% cried the first time I read your message. And I just thank you so much. And I know that you wrote it.

But I hope that you feel my love and my hugs through your brain holes. Thank you for sharing your positive message. Everybody needs to hear it. Thank you so much, Cyrus. And also, hi, hi, Felicity. I'm so happy you sent in a shout out to your bestie, beloved Karen. Hi, Karen. Many birthday kisses to you from me.

And Felicity says, Well, my dear friend Karen beat me to it, getting in the birthday shout-up before I could. The cancer versus Scorpio battle was won by her. Anyway, what can I say? She's my best friend. A friend I've never met in real life, but that is insignificant. She knows me better than anyone and helps make every day less of a battle. I'm so lucky to call Karen, my friend.

I look up to her in so many ways, and I'm grateful for her unwavering support and kindness. What a way to come together through our favorite podcast with friends who, only exist at our ears. Thank you to all for everything you do, but mostly for bringing Karen into my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. Oh, happy birthday, my dear friend. You are one in a million. Thank you, love Felicity. We love you, Felicity. We love you, Karen. Have a great birthday. And Dane wrote in from the Porcelain Throne podcast. He says, my fiancé and I listen every week. This is a joint shout out for my fiance McKenzie because she works super hard at making dope stickers for us to advertise our podcast with At Her Job as a Sign Maker, and I just love her and our two daughters

so dang much, it hurts. Secondly, this is a shameless self-shout. No shame. There's nothing shameless about it. And it would mean the world to us if y'all shouted out, Porcelain throne, a podcast. I put in a lot of work editing the pod and photoshopping every week for our 35 listeners, as well as working 40 hours as a commercial plumber. It can feel like a lot and not worth the extra work, but your guys's Twitch streams keep me sane while editing, and for that, I thank you. It inspires me to keep putting in the work. Please do, Dane. We did it for eight years while also having many other jobs without making a cent off of it.

I completely understand. Just keep plugging away. And again, that is Porcelain Throne podcast. Give it a look. Give it a listen. But also, I love Dane said. Shout out to Little Spookers from a fellow girl dad. And have a great week this week.

Thank you so much, Dane. And also, Shelby, last but not least. Shelby, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm so happy that you're getting the help you deserve. Now, Shelby says, I turned 26 on the 8th of October, and I was too depressed to write myself a shout out. Today is the 24th, and I am happy to report that the medication changes in healthier lifestyle have me feeling like myself again. Hail me! Shout out to myself for sticking around to see this year's Halloween, which is my favorite time of year.

gotta be stupid me if you're gonna think I'm gonna miss that-ish. I love the positivity y'all bring to my life and your podcast is something I look forward to, which helps me keep on, keep it on. Thank y'all for helping me feel more comfortable in my non-binaryness. I couldn't be more grateful. And also a shout out to all those out there struggling with mental illnesses. I feel you and I want you to know that every breath you take is a triumph. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's just fucking true. And the thing is that Shelby wrote that, but I couldn't agree. with them more, and thank you so much for writing in. But also, please, before you leave, check out Shelby's Etsy store. My Etsy is called Myers Motifs, M-Y-E-R-S-M-O-T-I-F-S. I make spooky

ashtrays with snake bones in them and earrings made with real butterfly wings, among other spooky stoner-type things. I get my bugs and bones from ethical sources because it's very important to me that I am repurposing a creature that lived a full, beautiful life. Thank you so much, Shelby. And again, that is Myers Motifs, M-Y-E-R-S-M-O-T-I-F-S. And I am so excited to check out these ashtrays, but don't tell Lex that there are snake bones in them. I love you guys so much,

and thank you for chilling out and listening to our shout-outs. And you can send in your own shout-outs to page 7 podcast at g-mell.com. I really appreciate it every week, and I just love it that you guys hit me up. It makes me filled with happiness. Page 7podcast at gmail.com, that is 7 the number. Love you. And thank you guys so much for writing in your amazing shoutouts

and listening to our beautiful Halloween episode. I hope that you're scared and hope that you're sitting on the edges of your seats. Yeah. Don't listen to Phoebe Bridgers because she's sucking the life. No, definitely listen to Phoebe Bridgers and definitely give her your life force. She needs it. We want to see her sore. Yeah, we've all been giving our life force to, if this theory is true, I'm long dead and

Connor Oberst, you know, owns me. Holy suck the life out of you. That's been working for me. So it might work for you too. Hell yeah. And thank you guys. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm.

And you can come and check out our Twitch talk. follow me at twitch.tv. 4.2. Oh, no, it's Jackie. We hang out on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then I go and I hang out with Fridays with Holden. And also, come, we've already watched our final twilight breaking dawn part two movie. But you can check it out over on our Patreon. And stay tuned because I will be releasing the first chapter of Midnight Sun on Monday.

And now I'm living inside of Edward's brain. And if you thought that I was fucking weird, for wait. I love it. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Also, on my Twitch, that is Twitch.tv.4.S. Holdenator. So, Jackie, it's almost as if there's

a stream on Twitch from one of us, almost every single day of the week. How amazing is that? Check me out Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. And thank you so much for everybody who joins that stream. It's so much fun. I'd love to have new folks popping in from

listeners from the podcast and everything is awesome. So again, Twitch.TV forward slash Hold on. So, Twitch. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. MJ, what's your Twitch handle? What are you streaming these days? If you are longing for more of the page seven ensemble, as you fill your nights with Jackie and Holden,

you can also look at my Instagram, which is MJKLKK. I don't post very often, but you can see me rolling my eyes at Dune, falling asleep, an hour in. And so I think that to meet the Shalamay is too young to thirst after. That's, you can get those and other hot takes over at, uh, and I just want to promote this. If you want to come for me, you've got to go through Gideon, okay? No, yeah.

Think about it. All right, he's a, he's a super lawyer, all right? He will fucking rip you to shreds in the court of law, allegedly. He represents no one on this podcast in a legal way. No, but. I know, but. Literally will be standing in front of me If you try to attack you, you have to get through him.

That's all I'm saying. I'm scared of him. And you should be two. Thank you guys. Have a great Halloween. And don't worry, we start. Buk, bach, bach, borg. For chicken Thanksgiving next week.

Yes. Meal. Depends on what you're into. Yes, Thanksgiving season starts next week. I love it. Have a beautiful time. Kukakak, kuk. God.

No one of this family ever seen a turkey before. See a chicken before. Love you guys. We'll talk to you soon. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.