Page 7 - Ep. 425: Get Away from My Nectar!

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

This week we're gossin' 'bout the impending arrival of Christmas, Holden's ongoing emo phase and The Black Parade he's marching down his street, the tragedy at Astroworld, Guy Fieri officiating Kristen Stewart's wedding and how Jackie would handle him at her own, Cardi B meeting (other) celebrities, the actor for Barney's new business endeavors, Matt Berry as Garfield, The Island Boys and other TikTok Twins (including kissin' twins), and in celebrity conspiracy corner; is Marlon Brando Courtney Love's grandfather, plus the blinds, a list of douchey moves by abusive directors, and shouts!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7PodcastKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Springheel Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Hockness and highway Solitas Rising up through the end In a distance What's her shimmering light My head grew heavy And my side grew dim

I had to stop all the night I'm not going to keep going I'll sing it I'll sing the entire fucking song Give us a couple more Because I've heard it I think you're welcome to the hot dance guy Is it a good place?

Such a lovely place Oh, is it lovely this time of year for sure. Very nice. Is it? Any time of you. You can find it here. It's about addiction. And I don't know if you know that or not.

I don't know if you guys know this about Florida, but for some reason, specifically the song. There's many. I mean, Jimmy Buffett, there's lots of songs. That's what I was going to say. I'm over here thinking that Jimmy Buffett is the, is the, is the, is the songstress of Florida, but I didn't know Hotel California was the anthem. I think I need to write an entire book on how Hotel California, although you would think it could be an anthem for the state of California, but in fact, it is not.

Because I don't know, it is like, it's so insane. I was so angry. Yeah, I'm starting off angry. Welcome to Big Seven, everybody. Is she spicy today? Oh, is she doing this for Florida? Oh, is that going to make it's a different Jackie? Is she spicy?

Is she spicy today? I'm spicy today. And I've got a lot, I've got a lot of feelings. And I will say I almost drove my mother's car into the public's because every channel right now, every single channel has Christmas music on it. Except it was so cartoonish. Because I'm always like, oh, Hotel California, I've made it. It is my dissertation that Hotel California at every second of every day is playing somewhere in Florida. And any channel you could turn on.

and the only channel that I could find that didn't have Christmas music was playing Hotel California and I thought I thought I wanted to be dead. I thought I was ready to be dead. How are you guys doing? I just have questions.

Were you upset about the Christmas music? Yes. Really? Yeah. Interesting. It was upset about it. You're not ready for it. I'm not ready.

And I know that not to be like the Mimi's but like I'm just not ready. I'm old school too, Jackie. I don't until I drunkenly with you see Santa Claus, ride down Madison Avenue or whatever it is. You know, and waving it, wave it. That's when Christmas starts for this guy.

You got to do, you know, it's thanks. It's kind of, it is slightly before the Thanksgiving meal, right? This is the first thing we do. It'll be six in the morning for us, something like that. And yeah, we'll see them wave, and then I go, ah, there's Chris. Now we can start Christmas. And I know they push it back and back and back every year. But to me, Christmas is dead anyways because you know what?

You can't find a PlayStation for. anywhere. So you know what? I don't think Christmas exists this year. That is the reason for the season, isn't it? Isn't it? The things you got,

and I've always said this. My fondest Christmas memories, people say it's, oh, family this and sitting around the table, no. It was the year I got my TVVCR and PlayStation and copy of Final Fantasy 7,

and it was the year that I got my Game Boy and the Ninja Turtles Blunt. Oh, that was a good point. Those are the two best Christmases, and it was literally the... Good blimp, bro. That was a cool blimp, bro, and I played with it

while playing with the Game Boy, and it had a great time, and none of the memories of the services, the candlelight, or the dinner. We always have my dad's meat sauce. Delicious, but that's all been blocked out. I just remember that moment where I was finally able to watch my VHS copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in my room, Undisturbed, and then play some PlayStation.

That was the real memory for me that I cherish so much. And I promise to give my daughter the same materialistic, amazing memories. It's so funny because definitely the thing that you remember being told every year as a kid is like, it doesn't really matter about what presents you get. Like what matters is your memories of the experience. And it turns out that's absolutely the episode of the moment. It's super not true, dude. That getting a TVVCR PlayStation in my room meant I never had to leave it and I never had to deal with anyone ever again if I didn't want to.

I get it. All right. And it definitely coincided with me also getting a CD copy of Radio Heads the Bins. And I also would listen to that, and that is the perfect Christmas album. And these, again, all material things. That's all it is. And I am fine with that. I think that, you know, we need to be a little more materialistic in the holidays.

I love that for us. I'm extremely, let's get more materialistic. We're material girls in a material world. You can't buy happiness, but you can distract sadness with money for, a month. That's true. You can hold it off for at least one month because you got some cool toy to play with. Well, I've famously, to myself at least, tried to distract from sadness with Christmas music. And I actually, apropos of our conversation last week about gatekeeper Mariah Carey, I did try to listen to Christmas music this week. And I was like, I want to love it, but it is to, I wanted it to be time. I was like, I'll take it. If it's, if this makes me feel good, yes, I'll listen to my,

Christmas mix, my very sad Christmas mix for two months instead of one month. And I tried and it just wasn't time. So take that morality. I hear you. See, this is the thing, though, is that I would understand, I'm going to throw it out there. I'm throwing out a wishbone. That's not the word for it. And throwing out a wishbone. I think that there can be one channel that has all Christmas music. Fine. You want to listen to Christmas music. You have it and you keep it in your hearts. However, every single channel? Yeah. Every single channel? And I just was like, give me a Lincoln Park at least again. I'm in Florida.

I need Lincoln Park. I have never sat down and listened to a Lincoln Park album, but I definitely recently looked them up. I'm going through a weird music phase right now. Can I just open that up right there? Are you about to have a mental breakdown holding? I'm not escaping. Taking care of your newborn baby and listen to the Lincoln Park in the year 2021?

I'm not escaping sadness with holiday music. I'm embracing sadness with sadness music. I'm going That I highly recommend. I highly recommend that. Weird emo phase. Saves the day, say anything. American football. I was just taking the baby for a walk

listening to American football by American football. Dude, I highly recommend you check out now that you're going into this experience. I did make a playlist for Jacob on my Spotify. Yes, I'm talking about Jacob the shapeshifter from Twilight. Wow. And I think that Holden, you would probably really like the songs

that I made, uh, centric, song centric for the shape shifter. I love it, yeah. I'm listening all Thursday. I was just listening, you know, and I know it's not real emo. I love my chemical romance. I was, again, the other day I was taking the baby for a walk,

listening to, I'm not okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm not okay. And I'm just like, and I'm waving to the peoples. You know, everybody's like, oh, look at that happy father. Were you in a parade? You're just out there waving to the people with your baby? a black parade, Jackie.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's because every time anybody sees a daddy with a baby, everyone's like, Daddy, look at you, Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy with a baby. We love daddies. The difference between me walking through the neighborhood a few months ago

and me walking through the neighborhood with this baby, it is just night and day. I love to do it. I just love to walk because I've just treated so much better that I've ever been treated by just random strangers. Everyone loves a daddy. And then the old lady always stops,

some old lady stops. It goes, oh, you know, the same old lady says the same thing to me every time, were you as cute when you were that age? What do you say? I don't know. I change the answer every time.

Well, sometimes I change the answer. I go, I'm not okay. Yeah. Just start speaking to them in emo lyrics and then they'll understand. Yeah. She says that. Took me into the city.

Oh, no. You know, I just start singing the black. She hears the Lincoln Park coming through your earphones and she's tucked. You know the reason why we can get into the shitty news of the week? You know, the reason why I was actually interested in Lincoln Park was that video that's been circulating around of them stopping their show and making everyone chant. If someone falls, you pick them back up,

which is honestly a bigger mantra even than in a concert. It was just, and it was the man who unfortunately took his life too, which is so sad because you see him get everybody in the room to chant when you fall down, what do you do whenever you say, pick them up. And I mean, that is a mantra for life. That is a beautiful video. So I was like, maybe I should, I never actually gave him a chance. I thought about you, Jackie, too, because you know, exactly, because you're at home right now.

I know you're, exactly, you're considering getting back into it. You know, I don't know if I'm ever, I think that I, I have asked multiple times, have I died and am I in purgatory? And I think you hit day three in Florida and you're just like, what, but now what? What if this is forever? And it's scary. I'm not overdramatic. It's the last thing I ever describe you as. Yeah.

No, there's a lot of really good positive stories coming out about different musicians that have tried to stop different kinds of assault or any kind of violence as happening in the mosh pit or just like right in front of the stage while they are performing obviously because of what happened at the Estra World Festival at the Travis Scott concert. Now, I, this has been upset. It's all upsetting. It's all very upsetting.

It's all very upsetting. It got me thinking, too, of, you know, have you guys ever been in a situation? I remember I was in a really wild show at Coney Island, the Village Voice show. I remember, like, my glasses fell off, my face at one point, and luckily I was able to grab them, but it was that moment of, you know,

it was like, I don't really have control anymore here. is not in my control. You know, I was never a Mosh Pit guy. I was always that guy that was definitely afraid of mosh pits and right at the beginning of the formation of it, you find yourself in the middle and then you run out, like terrified, you know what I mean? It happened to me.

I think of Wu-Tang rage that happened to me. I remember Green, the first concert I ever went to that I, of my own volition, first concert ever was taken to was Houdie and the Bloofish, but I like to say my first concert was... I also have gone to a Hooty in the Bluefish. You know, it was good. Because in hindsight I like Hootie.

In my side, I'm cool with. with the hoot hoot, but, you know, with the ruck truck, but, but. Yeah, man, get up, get rough, bro. At the time, that wasn't my, you know, thing. And I was like, Green Day was my favorite band. So that was the first show. But I remember that was crazy, you know. It was, yeah, it's just so, it's wild.

I loved that stuff when I was, like, when I started going to concerts, admittedly, I was, it was mostly, you know, third wave ska and like pop punk. But I was like, let me get in those pits. It's not like a, it wasn't, I don't think I was ever in, like, a true, real mash pit, but I would go to warp tour. and I was like, let me get in there. I loved it. And you do, you kind of surrender your body over to the crowd.

And there's, like, a lot of thrill of it. But also, just like the Lincoln Park video, there is, like, a lot of, I always felt there was, like, camaraderie. Like, I remember I fell down once and, like, everyone, like, yanks you back up right away, you know, like, it is really thrilling. And for that reason, reading the story and, you know, seeing how young people were. And it's just like, of course, when you're young, you're not thinking, like, oh, this might turn bad.

You're thinking, like, this is crazy, you know? And if somebody said, you know, if you're in a really crowded concert, like it might be unsafe, you'd be like, ah, fuck off. You know, you just like, it's not something you don't expect anything to go that bad that quickly. And so it's part, I think I thought, I have found this story particularly scary because I can totally imagine myself being in that exact situation. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I've definitely been tried, someone tried to pick me up once because I was at a, I was at a shine down concert. and they were, and they were, like, picking up people in the audience to try to force them to crowd serve, and they tried to pick me up, and I flipped the thought.

I was just like, no, no, like, I just flipped out until someone kind of, like, grabbed me out of their arms, because they were just picking people up and making them crowdsurf against their consent, and it was just such a, to the point that I just remember having a panic attack, because I was like, I have to get out of here, I got to get out of here, I have to get out of here, And I can't even imagine what a horrible way for those people to die. And I know that, like, obviously part of this is like, well, you know, it is, like, it is something that Travis Scott does do. He does encourage people to do the, like, the crush up towards the stage.

And I feel like I was watching this news story here about it. And they're like, well, you know, yeah, I mean, get out of the kitchen. And I was like, that is fucked up for you to. say. Very upsetting. Oh, it is just, man, the news coverage here is different. But. It is quite odd.

Very upsetting. Yeah, how you quickly. You know, I actually had to dose of that recently with Reddit was like, what's the best album of the year was on a thread. And whatever, I saw one album over and ever. I forget who it was. And I don't even want to make myself look bad by even saying what it was. Because people are like, it's a great album, you're idiot.

But I put it on. Are you being an idiot holding? I might be being an idiot. It was very like evanescency meets like perfect circle. I think you'd love this music, Jack, that I put it on. I was just like, you know what? I forget there's a lot of people in this wild spinning globe. And sometimes, you know, they have different tastes than me.

So I'll just chalk that up. And then I put on the get up kids. And I went back to my emo, my emo realm that I'm in right now. Just feeling emotional a little bit. Isn't that fun? Yeah. Emo is great. Emo was great.

And, you know, I've been to a lot of bright-eyes concerts, and I don't remember ever feeling. That would be amazing. I mean, the reason bright-eyes everyone's crying. There. Woman drowns in her own tears. It's like the only type of story that can come out of that.

Yeah, exactly. Sorry, I'll stop playing so sad in the future. Thanks, Connor. You killed a woman today. She was joking so hard. How dare you, old then? You don't understand us. You don't understand us.

Oh my God. But anyways, yeah, just people are, you know, you go to different parts of the country. You're like, oh, they're just a completely, have a completely different approach, you know? And that's why there's so many fans, and I think that it is good. And I do want to say that I definitely got sucked them into the conspiracy theory of the Astro World Festival. Then I also, when I first started reading about it, and I was just like, oh, my God, Henry, did you see that they're finding needle pricks in people's necks? And he's like, Jackie, that's not true. That is not, like, yeah, that was one of the weirder.

It was one of the weird. But I was just like, man, but then, like, how scary is that? Just like the concept. I know that that is, it has been something that has been happening. I believe in the UK. But I was just like, that's so crazy. But I just want to, you know, sometimes like, man, do you imagine just finding like the prick and be like, am I going to? And then out.

That's so crazy. But maybe it's just because like a Florida head. Do I have Florida? And it's very soothing to think that this horrible tragedy was something that was like orchestrated by Satan rather than just like horrible negligence, which I think is more than the thing. You know, but that's what's so wild about it. You see the headlines like this was so incredibly avoidable and you read a kind of how. But there's no like pinpointed thing that they go, if they had just done sectioned off barriers or something. But it's not.

It's such a, it's something I never. never really thought about as an attendee of Bonaroo's in the past and giant day festivals and things like that. It's like, yeah, there's all these things you can do to avoid it, but it's not necessarily like one specific answer. There's all these little things that had to go wrong in order for this result to happen. And definitely it's bred on a basic distrust of authority, I think. There's a lot of that in the, in the apparently his approach to music and stuff, even in the way of like maybe even being kind of like, even if you don't have a ticket, just come out and just like you'll just try to get in kind of a thing, I think. He kind of blasts off like that about stuff

and essentially just breeds this like total, you know, hatred of any kind of authority. And then, what are those like people trying to hold the barriers up going to do? I think that's the difficult issue here. But the crazy thing to me is, again, I went to fucking Wu-Tang rage and I just don't remember there being like a, with songs like, fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. there still wasn't like an animosity towards those trying to like keep the peace or keep the everything in order. So like what's going on here? What's going wrong here?

I think our countries are really angry right now? I think there's like, I think people are upset about something. Yeah, I guess people were all fake angry back then because there was nothing to actually be that angry about per se. And now it's just people are really angry. Everyone is angry. And I think, again, I think it's just maybe coming down here. I'm just like, oh, wow, I live in a bubble,

and they know that it's good to get out of the bubble. But sometimes, man. Is there an edge in Florida? There's just like an edge to people. Yeah. Flying to, right, airports as well. Airports are the worst right now, right? Oh, of course, of course.

But then he's just, I don't know, Adele has stopped, like someone fainted and she stopped and was just like, we have to get a medic in here, someone's fainted, like, just like stopping the show. And, you know, it was during rolling in the deep. You don't want to stop during rolling. No, you're all. You're in the middle of a wave of emotion.

But then also Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl has as well and just different people that I imagine that it depends on like if you are up there alone or if you're not what kind of music you're singing, how where you are of what's going on. Because like I will say like I mean, Travis Scott does perform. I mean he's up there like I can't imagine you're always paying attention. And I know that. Oh, well, there was definitely one point where he's like. The videos where exactly. The videos of him like, you're like, hold on, hold on. Is that an ambulance?

Everybody put your middle fingers up. And then you just go it. It's just, yes. Which is hilarious that like that was his next move, which is like, again, just pushing more towards like animosity, uh, anger towards whatever. You know what I mean?

And so it's just nothing like capping off the last year and a half with putting your middle fingers up at a hand. Yeah. Fuck those people trying to help people. Oh yeah. Just push it over. Which is why there's lots of other. stories that are out there this week.

Like very importantly, Guy Fietti and Kristen, Stuart, it is, I just, I will say there are, there's some positivity out there, guys. And this is a very page seven story. This is another one that I think happened because of us. I think that we did this, and I had no idea that Kristen Stewart was such a, was such a garlic mafia kind of gal. But I guess she is, and she did ask publicly, I believe, on the Howard Stern Show, if Guy Fietti, would officiate Kristen Stewart's wedding, and he in turn said yes.

And that just, oh man, I just, the smile on my face. I just hope that he comes down the aisle in the Cadillac. I don't know what kind of car that is. It's red. And I want him to be in that car. And I hope that that's what he shows up at in the end of the aisle. Welcome to Christopher Stewart's wedding. I'm Guy Fiatty.

Of course, this is all because he officiated. a hundred and one or a wedding, like a mass wedding for 101 same-sex couples. And it was an ode to, who was it, his brother? I believe his sister. His sister. And it was this really beautiful gesture.

So it was, I think, mostly based on that, but also just gotta love it. You know what I mean? Just what a fun wedding. It's a little smile on my face. I think the real question that I have, though, is, Jackie, you're going to be the first one to answer. if like was she joking like if guy fietti right now said i will officiate your wedding jackie and

that means you're going to have a very different wedding than you would otherwise a wedding that really ultimately is going to be a bit about guy fiatty perhaps even as much about him as it is about you and your love you're fine with that i think that see right now i've got henry as the officiant so i feel like Henry and Guy Fietti doing this together would really make this wedding. And I would not ask Henry to step down and I would ask Guy Fieti to step up. And I think that he would. And I would love to see. And I just hope both of them are just covered in Greece. I want to play Catch the Efficient afterwards. And then we've got to cover them up in Greece. We're like, go get them guys. Come on everybody. And everyone's going to be followed all over each other and each other. And, you know,

the yakety sax is going to be playing. And that's the wedding I want to have. I would totally go for a novelty wedding just because it would be so unique and different. You know what I mean? Kelpen tweeted. First of all, congratulations. Cal Penn came out. I can't remember if we talked about that,

but he's like, I'm gay and I've got a loving partner who I love it. And he tweeted, I had a dream that Cardi B officiated my wedding. And then she tweeted back and was like, I'm licensed to do that. So like, hit me up if you want to. And he was like, yeah, okay. But I was like, what if you just tweeted like, ha ha, L.

O.L, I want Cardi B to officiate my wedding and she was like, yeah. And then you were like, why? Oh. And then suddenly you have a very different wedding on your hands. But you're not going to say no, because it's going to be Cardi B. would I say, would I go back in time and have Cardi B or Guy Fietti officiate my wedding? Probably. Probably would I be like a little sad to lose a non-Carty B or Guy Fiati-o-o-o-o-officiated wedding?

Also probably, you know. Oh, man. I don't know, dude. That sounds really cool. I would much easier except Guy Fietti officiating than Cardi B. And I would say mostly just because great segue, by the way, when Cardi B met Robert Patton said, now I do love it when Cardi B gets very excited. She's a huge Twilight Stan. And thank you, Cardi B. Yeah, yeah. It is one of the obvious many similarities that Cardi and they have. And she flipped out because she loves Twilight so much and just couldn't even

believe that he knew, I just I know that there are issues with Cardi B, but what I do love is that regardless of how much money she spends on like her two-year-old's purses, I think it's fun when she gets so excited

about someone knowing who she is as if she's not a superstar. I love that too. It's actually, like the guy from you because the Penn Badgley was like called out Cardi B because Cardi B is a huge you Stan and Cardi B just tweeted out like oh my fucka God he knows me yo I'm like famous famous and I think that's that's so charming I find that to be just like yeah you had like the biggest songs of the year

for the past like three years a much bigger star than famous famous like of the moment at least like of the moment yeah she's she's huge and back sounds more famous than him. I do love because she had tweeted out about her love for the show you. And she received in her, like at her personal address, a hat that says, hello, you on it. And it says, my stalking and killing may make me a certified freak seven days a week. But it also brought me to you, Cardi B.

You have a way with social media. You're meaningful, substantial. I just like you. You're authentic and nuanced, just as you are with. your music. It's a little, you know, it's a little ham-fisted. However, they did find her personal address, which I think is very reminiscent of the show you. Are you guys caught up with you? Absolutely not. I haven't started season three. I like that. You also unsold me from whatever watching that show, the way you guys talked about how this was a show that just fills the hours.

This is like your Mrs. Dalloway show. That fills the hours of the hours after that. And the hours after that is just after the party is watching you and how just completely useless it is in every sense of the world. I mean, there's so many, you guys went on a diatribe. I've never been just, in so many words,

told to not give a show a chance. And yet, it's hilarious that you're asking. It's tough. It's like a show where I'm like, I don't think this show should exist. I don't think I should be watching it. And I don't think I should recommend it to anyone else.

But here we're on. That's well done. That's lock and key for me. I've beenged it in like three days, season two. And I'm like, I don't even think this is even very good. But I love the comic book. And I just like, it's just enough to get me through, essentially. It's just dark enough or horror elements enough.

It's got that high school stuff. It's just another stranger thing. It's just one of the many shows they greenlit after the success of Stranger Things. It's like high school kids, magic stuff, horror stuff. You know what I mean? And, but is it good? I just can't believe they made a second season. I heard no one talk about it.

But then we just talked, we all watched Arl Stein's Fear Street, all three parts, and you can't, it is possible to do it. And I know that it's not obviously the same thing. Great, though, yeah. But he was great. So good.

Yes. And Lockham Key in its own right is actually, I guess it's, I don't know. I just, I don't know if I would ever give this show the time of day if it wasn't for the comic book being a thing I like. I think that you, it's like, think that the problem with you is not only is the jury out on whether it's a good show.

I think it's a good, I think it's well written. It's well acted. Like it has cool, hot, talented actors. And it's like an interesting story. I think that the real, at least my ambiguity about you is like a moral ambiguity of like, I think that it makes it seem hot. To have a stalker. Yes. And the show is good. It is like it is, I am sucked into it. obviously, I wouldn't have watched as much of it as I have if I didn't feel that way, because you are right, MJ, but in watching it, it's like, but it's like, but the idea of it, of like, ooh, and I get it, you know, I understand exhibitionism, a hundred percent, but I think that part of it is, that's like with consent. Right. And, uh, I think that taking some of that

away, I'm just like, ooh, ooh, I don't know. Yeah, it's just like, I don't know if this, and Penn Badgley, to his great credit is like, I am not a good character. It's a bad character. Don't romanticize me. I'm bad. But definitely the point of the show is that you watch it and you're like,

ooh, I want him to talk me. You know, it's like it's fucked up. Well, it's the whole thing too that guys always say the difference between like a creep and like a haughty is just like the physical. You know what I mean? Yeah.

A guy can make a gesture that would otherwise be decided to determine to be a creepy gesture. But if he's like attractive enough to the person he's doing it to, then all of a sudden it's like romantic. Right. You know what I mean?

And that's, that is interesting. But if they were, like, trying to say something with that, that'd be one thing. But I don't think that's what this is doing. This is just trying to horn up, horn people that get horned up about. So how would you feel then if Barney the purple dinosaur takes his tail, right? Takes his tail and starts, ooh, just you got, ooh, you got jogging shorts on. And you're like, Barney, what are you doing with that tail? Barney, is your tail harder than your average dinosaur?

door and then he just comes in at you with that big old mouth. And he says, it's not about the orgasm. It's about the journey. Unprotected, mind you, by the way. That was the part where I was like, wait a tick. This is weird. It's very, yes, he teaches a clag massage, central massage he gives to house calls, where he all, that involves at some point unprotected sex in the deal.

This is very obvious. to me. We are discussing right now. Yes, we were talking about the PBS's Barney and Friends, and we are referring to the person who is behind the voice of Barney the Purple Dinosaur, who is now currently, he gives out like these tantric sex meetings that usually with women, and he goes between three to four hours for $350, female clients receive a ritual bath, chakra balancing, and a massage. Now, I did feel that this, the article that I sent to you guys is fairly damning of the idea of like someone

like how dare a person who voiced a child's host become a tantric sex provider and teacher. However, I do feel that it is a little interesting that he did bring up Barney in this Vice article about how the energy I brought up while in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love. And I don't know.

I think that's where it's, that's the creep. That's when it gets a little like, ooh, uh, I don't know. Yeah, that's, you can, you, you go on. It's obviously going to be a hard road ahead recovering from being barred. Yeah. Everyone is going to. So I'm happy for you that you found a job that works for you. It appears, the job appears to be massaging people and also having penetrative sex with them at the same time.

Because condoms block the energy, MJ. It blocks the energy. Which it sounds like everybody's into, so it's like, okay, fine. However, don't you bring up Barney when you're talking about this work. You can leave Barney out of it. That's something in your past. Put it on your resume. Walk away from it.

Don't bring in Barney. Nobody needs that. You know what it reminds me of? You know what popped to my head just thinking about? Like, what did this remind me of? Remember the 80s movie Lover Boy about the pizza delivery guy that ends up making houseculling like delivering pizzas to all the lowly? I just can't believe you're not bringing up depth to Smoochie,

but I don't know the movie Lover Boy. You don't remember Lover Boy? It's like this pizza guy ends up kind of being in this network of like lonely housewives. It was definitely like a- It's Patrick Deppsy. Yes, it was definitely like kind of a skinamaxy kind of show or movie,

but it was like it was on those kinds of HBO, whatever, and I remember always being quite interested in. Carrie Fisher's in it? Kirstie Alley is in it? This is nuts. I can't believe you guys never. seen this before. You're going to have to all have a group watching a lover boy?

I guess we do. I remember this was definitely one of those like soft, soft, soft, soft, like not even soft. How soft for you right now? Scale of one to soft. I'm horrible. There's a baby screaming in the other room. We have a person cleaning the house right now. I don't think I have anything going on right now.

But I would say legally I have nothing going on right now. But I would say, yeah, dude, check out lover boy, bro. Can I think it's a love for lover boy in the chat or anybody have like an awakening to this movie. This is definitely in the mix for me when it came to like my young young dumb and full hope. Viewing of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So you're imagining a scenario where Barney is like going to like set up for a children's birthday party or perhaps but there's no children anywhere. They're not there but the lonely mom is there and she's like oh right this way and he's like

oh this way and then he like bends over with his big tail up in the air and then it turns into some, is that, what are we? Way less erotic, way more sad. Oh. But yes, I think that it is a guy. No wonder you like this. Making house calls under the guise of like healing and spirituality

and then really just kind of be in a escort message. You know what I mean? Or a sex, which is fine. But it just, it seems disingenuous to be like, this is about spirituality and this is about this. And then I'm like, dude, I think you're just a glorified sex. Let's just call it, you know, let's call it apple and apple. Yeah, I love it.

At least they're not saying things like, before I got into the Barney costume, I would pray and ask God to allow his loving divine spirit to flow through me through the costume and let that draw the kids. That energy would always draw them in. Children are more connected spiritually than adults. A lot of times when I see infants and I'm out and about at the grocery store or whatever, they start staring at me. I make the joke, you know who I am, but they don't.

And that is, and again, you're the voice of Barney. If they heard you, maybe, and they recognize you, yes. Again, I don't think that what he's saying is necessarily creepy, but in the tantric sex sandwich with Barney, it does put me off a little bit. Just like a little bit. Imagine just like at the grocery store with your baby,

and this man just walks by and talks to your baby and is like, you know who I am. And he's just some fucking guy. Now here's the other question. By the way, there is a website, and it definitely is that kind of website for his spiritual work. I don't know if you went on there,

but it is, I think it links to it somewhere in this article, or maybe it's in the vice article that's linked from this article. But isn't, is it this legal? It just seems, this just seems bananas to me. Like, it just, how are there, like, articles about this? This is a famous guy, famous for being, like, which again, like, I love Pee We Herman and think he was screwed over.

I have no issue with this guy doing one thing and then the other thing, right? Especially because he was disallowed from doing anything like this while he was Barney. He had to, by contract, he couldn't do anything like this. So it happened after the fact. But then again, it's like there's a full article about how he just gets paid to go of sex with women in their houses. And is this, no what? I mean, it's, again, I should be legal, but isn't it not? Can he get in trouble?

or just be very openly paid for this sort of activity? I don't think so. I feel like if you're coming in to teach someone, because I know that they have tantric teachers. So I think that if you're certified, I would assume that that is a different process. But I also know tantric teachers, and they don't usually have sex with their clients.

And usually it is done at least with the people that I have spoken to that oftentimes, and I only can speak to the two that I've spoken to, but that usually it's with your clothes on and it's more about the energy and it's about feeling and it's about the connection. openly admitted to having unprotected specifically unprotected sex.

Yeah. Don't worry though, MJ. He makes sure they each show the STD papers before they engage, before Barney does any of this to anybody. I mean... Well, he also refers to going down in a woman orally as tasting the goddess nectar,

which again, I'm into, but all I can think of is like, Oh, oh, I'm going to get down there. Oh, why don't I sup a ponds your god and nectar? And I'm like, get away from my nectar. Get away from me, you little bee. Uh, may I say? I can't think about this story without thinking about that TikTok that went viral from a couple of weeks ago, which I don't think we talked about...

Island boy? No, but we have to talk about the Island Boys. But no, this was about how Mormon... What do they call it? The Mormon thing where you put... Sploishing. Soaking? No, soaking.

Soking. You put it in and then you just leave it there and then you have someone jump on the bed. And you hop all around. You put it up. He soky and you call me all about. That's what the mom and's love. He describes that. He does that.

That is in the practice. They soak. He soaks. Yeah, he doesn't call it that. But I remember reading it. It sounds like soaking. Yeah, that's what they do. Well, and then you have the, did you already read this quote?

And I missed it when the lungi meets the, the when the lingam and the yoni meat. No, we didn't read it yet. M.J.J. That's, that is, we're children. It's weiner and Yoney is the whole, as the lady. Heart. Meat, there's a certain energy that takes place

that hands on the body alone cannot create, which again, all immediately sounds manipulative. Look, I can give you the, like, massage with my hands, but I think you're going to need someone that lingam in yo. Yoni, before you get, like, the full experience. And then there's a lot of this kind of stuff where it was like, well,

you know, for the first two sessions, it was just this. And then by the third one, though, and it just sounds like grooming a little. I don't know. It just seems maybe I'm just square. You are very square. We'll see that. I'm just, I'm a 38-year-old man who is going through an emo phase, right? Let's just get it on the table. Can't get more square than that. Can I get more square than that? I'm trying to revert to like being sad about girls in high school for summary. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's something about. It's because Taylor Swift is

re-releasing red on Friday. Oh, how dare you? That's why. Don't even get me thinking about it. I keep thinking about it. Turn out the door to, you. I don't even know what that is.

All too well. You want to know something funny that happened today? Yeah. Gideon was like, so people really love Taylor Swift, huh? And I was like,

have you ever heard of Holden Big Neely? And Gideon's like, wait, Holden's love of Taylor Swift is like sincere and not ironic. And I was like, sit down. I was like, there is not an ounce of irony in this guy's body about his love for Taylor's. Here we are again on that little town street. You almost ran the red because you were looking over at me.

Oh, wow. I was there. I remember it all too well. Uh-oh. You were going to go down. You were going to have quite a holiday season this year. Oh, my God. In heaven.

I'm scared for you for this holiday season. Well, there's an all too well short film. First of all, she's releasing her team. 10 minute version where she says a curse. No. Yes, she's releasing the 10 minute all too well in Red Taylor's version. And there will be a short film as well with the Redhead Girl from Stranger Things and some other guy that I don't give too fucks and shit about. Not a fuck snora shit, holding.

But I am so excited for this. You have no idea. Yeah, Dylan O'Brien and Sadie Sink will be, I guess, the. Forbidden Lovers of the All Too Well. Short film, not a music video, short film. And it will be coming out, I believe, tomorrow and it will, no, no, it'll be coming

on Friday, God help me. And it is written and directed by Taylor Swift. Wow. I'm so excited that, and yes, that does mean the jacket this week will be read Taylor's version themed. And we will be fall weather sad on

this week's jacket. And please show up for it. I'll be like, red, red, um, Starbucks. Are you still gonna be in Florida for Jackin? No, I'll be back. I'll be back and ready to y'all join us on Jacking with the Holties this Friday. Maybe we got lost in translation. Maybe I asked for too much.

Maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there. I remember it all too. Yeah, well, you're no Island boys, Holden. And yes, we know all about the Island boys. Even though we are old, we know all about the island boys. T-Swift better, yeah, I didn't just send them the article right before the recording of this episode. And it just explained it to them, even though I don't even understand.

The NFTs of TikTok, island boys, because they're inexplicable to us. A lot of identical twin boys doing weird shit on TikTok. Yeah, what's going on right now is I also showed them the video that was posted on Cringtopia subreddit of the two twin boys almost kissing. for a full minute. That's bad. I think it's the fact that they don't kiss. I think the almost kissing is somehow worse. That one's very bad.

The Eliso V brothers, A-L-I-S-O-V brothers, if you are interested in the, I think, one of the most cringy videos I've seen in quite some time. That is bad. So we got, we did a little leapfrog from the island boys who are these Cuban boys with a lot of face tattoos and they're identical and they do a kind of shit hanks-ish um you know kind of island style uh Jamaican style uh singing of sorts yes and then I saw this and I was like I just saw a TikTok about twin boys who do funny things together and that's apparently the Da Vinci boys who are these different

identical twins wait the Da Vinci boys They're called the Da Vinci twins. Look it up. The Da Vinci twins. They are very cute, charming twin boys who are men. Are those the pranksters? Are you talking about the pranksters, MJ? They're pranksters.

And they said, I made a 3D sandwich for my twin. And then the twin comes and then he pies him in the face. And apparently they just do fun. They're 27-year-old Hungarian Canadian twins. and they just do funny, like extremely basic funny pranks to each other. I don't like pranks, but I like twins pranking each other.

That's fine. Twins pranking are fun. And so of these three sets of twin boys on TikTok, I vote for the Divankis. I think I like the Davinkees the most, but I will say how, I just wish we had recorded, the three of us talking about young male twins

for the 25 minutes before we started recording, because we're all just like, wait, are you talking about the ones? Oh, those aren't the ones I was talking. Are they almost kissing? Like, the three of us just about had. Of which young boys' twins were we talking about? We all brought a twin and a set of identical twin boys to the table today. It was like show and tell, but I had nothing.

Yeah, I've been in Twin Town for sure, MJ and Jackie. It sounds like, you know, there's just not enough twin sensations. happening over there in Florida. I guess you gotta get your wing him up in that yoni. See, I've just been watching the Matt Berry to voice Garfield TikTok over and over again because I'm kind of obsessed with this young man who doesn't look like Matt Barry, but he sounds a lot like Matt Berry. And it just makes me want to say lasagna.

John, why, he's Louisiana. I am really good at Ascento's. Guys, it's me. It's not Matt Berry. It's Jackie. Lesonia. That's kind of how Matt Barry would say it. And I do want Matt Barry to voice Garfield,

and I'd like to put in my vote to the people that care. And that's everybody. Well, how dare you? I feel like we didn't even talk about the island boys. Okay, the island boys. Tell us about the island boys, Holden. Tell us about the island boys. They look ridiculous, and they have one song that ever get hang their hat out

where they literally just go, Island boys, we're Island boys. I felt so old when Holden said it to me. I was like, so they're just saying Island Boys over and over again? I don't understand. This is the song? Do they have another song? I don't know why.

And I'm already ready to apologize for even talking about them on the show because I do know they have a dark criminal past. I don't think anything like other than robberies and burglaries and stuff like that have come up. I mean, they seem to have a really tough life. And so it's actually kind of cool that they're maybe getting some notoriety. Yeah. But I'm just so ready for an actual real issue story to come out about them. And then we're just like, oh, we're sorry we talked about.

They are attractive youngs. I do think, you know what? I think I'm kind of into face that. They're retractive to you? Yeah, they're cute. They're there. I mean, I can see that they are attractive. They are children in my eyes, but I.

All right, you have to, well, whatever. They are children. All of their criminal passes when they're children, that's fine. We let that go. They can be the island boys. Are they of age before I asked this question to Jackie? They are 20. They're 20.

They're 20. Okay. You have to choose between the three different twin bears for a night of them. The Davinkies are 27, just putting it out there. I guess it has to be the Divincis. It's going to have to be the Divinkees. I would hope the kissing brothers or else we watched child porn, I think, just then, when we saw the video of them almost kissing.

I would hope that they're over 18. We know how Holden feels about Almost Kisses. He truly loves them. It is so disgusting. It is so gross. The scene brothers almost kiss does make me feel, and it's just so long. It's so. If you look it up, it's a full minute of them.

By the way, It doesn't, like, when you look at it, it's less than a minute. It makes me want to be dead. It's 57 seconds. And yet, I was going to say three minutes. It feels like forever. It just goes on and on and on of them almost kissing each other. Then at one point he like pushes him away and it's like, no, come back.

And like in this very, you know, maybe it's just because their romantic gestures are more romantic than most of the kind of gestures I give towards my own wife, maybe even. There's a certain kind of level of intimacy. going on there that I'm just like, God, I don't even put it out that. I'm watching it again. Can we watch it on Jack and with the Haldies on Friday? Because I can't believe I'm watching it again. It's really weird. Now I'm just wondering, I'm like, are they like the twins who will not be named? Because I'm sure somebody can figure it out that I always really rolled my eyes at in the

hipster scene in New York, that they would just like go around and like MacBook DJ. And they weren't, but they weren't actually twins. They were just like such hipsters that they dress like each other. And they dressed like Wes Anderson twins, essentially, too. And they would go around and, like, MacBook DJ and I'm mutual friends with them. And they were always, and this is the thing. They were just always so kind of rude to me whenever I'd be in their orbit. You know what I mean?

They would just be kind of very like, oh, I'm not like, I'm not on your level. So you got Twindby, you're mad at all twins because of these fake twins. Maybe, but those guys, no, no, no, I'm mad at people who aren't actually twins. Those guys, not actually twins. Just dressed like each other. And just, it was so weird. It was so, so, so weird. And yet, like, everyone loved them.

I was friends with people that loved them so much. And I'm wondering if these two almost kissers are also actually not twins. I'm trying to figure that out right now. Let's hope. I will say I just sent the video to Henry while we were having this discussion and his only response was,

why are you doing this to me? And I think that that is what the, response you should be from a sibling when you send them a sibling almost kissing TikTok. You know, it's almost the way they, okay, so I'm watching right now, they rub noses like an Eskimo kiss. Then they rub like foreheads and there's just something about that that just makes me want to die.

Have you ever touched foreheads with your siblings? No, no way. I never. No way. I don't think I've ever gotten that close to Henry's face before. And as we here on page seven have frequently joking. about how we want the property brothers to kiss. And I think that these twins have come along to be like,

you think you want it, but you don't. But you don't. Although I feel like the property brothers, I hate to say it, I think it would make it make sense. I'd be like, oh, well. Yeah. That's why the third one is the good Charlotte version. And I understand now because you have to push away

as someone that gets it because, you know, sometimes you listen to Lincoln Park, man. And you're like, I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be like them. I'm crying in my skin. I have a different read on the third property brother, which is that he does want to be like them, and he must be so sad that he's not like that.

No, no. I bet he loves that he's not like them. Right? Or maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that I no longer think I want them to kiss, and that's probably good.

All right. We've crossed the barrier today. No one really wants that, you know, but the property brothers kind of did for men, what the Olson twins did for, you know, was like, do I want these twins? to kiss and and then now these twins have come along to definitively give us the answer, which is no.

No one actually wants to see twins kissing. The answer is no. So you got to choose. What are you doing? One amazing, just night of ecstasy, Jackie. Is it the almost kissers? The island boys or the prank brothers? I guess it has.

It's got to be the prank brothers. They're at least, at least they're 27. They're Hungarian-Canadian. Very into that. I think that I could, I could, I guess I'll allow them to high full tower me. Oh my God.

This guy's hair, I didn't even look at them yet. Really? These guys? I don't have much of a choice. Hold it. They're fun. These guys are going to be doing all sorts of stuff to you, Jackie. But maybe they'll be flipping while they do it.

And I'll be like, oh, helicopter. And they'll just like spin me around, spin me around. Jackie, that hair, you can't, Jackie, that hair. But maybe. Hold on there is not another option. Why, what do you guys choose? I think I'm going with the Island Boys. Really?

Yeah, well, they have a dark criminal pass, so immediately I do love Dark Criminal Pass. Yeah, that's nice. You know, and they, I don't know, they just seem like, don't judge a book by its cover, unless it has dumb hair like the Prank Brothers, then judge the book by its cover. The Island Boys have white dreadlocks. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, but they're pulling it off somehow for me.

I don't know. Is that okay? Can I say that without getting? All right, fine, I'm canceled. Whatever. It's a face. I like a look that says, hey, I'm here. I don't give a fuck.

Face tattoos unlocks an achievement level where you can then do white dreadlocks, but only then. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. I, you know, I also like an underdog story and, you know, that kind of thing. So I think Island boys, come on, come on in.

Let's turn on the, you know, what are we going to turn on, the Isaac Hayes and let's be, island men for any evening. My problem is I just think about the Elton John's song, Island girl, which I don't think he probably can sing anymore, and I can't not think about that song instead. You could play that while you do it with the Davincki boys. All island theme songs will be played while we're doing this weird session with the island. No Eagles, though.

No Eagles. Okay, all right, fine, fine. Do we have a conspiracy holding? Oh, is it time? Jesus, I didn't realize. Oh, it's like really time. I didn't realize. We were too busy talking about boys.

Man, when you start talking about young boys, you can't get us to stop. You guys have to. We have to link the Almas Kisser video in Twitter or whatever. When we released the episode, people need to see that. That is just so disgusting. All right, give me the share. Do you believe it? Is Courtney love Marlon Brando's grandfather?

I mean, is Marlon Brando Courtney Love's grandfather? I like the other way. Other way around. Why does Courtney Love is a vampores? I like the other way. Is Marlon Brando and Courtney Love's grandfather. Here we go. This one comes in from Elsa who says,

Let it go. Let it go. No, I'm just kidding. She doesn't say that. I'm sure she hates that, actually, that I made that joke. I bet. I bet. Sorry, Elsa.

I just watched Frozen this weekend. So it was a good joke. Topical. Sorry, Elsa, the sequel. Topical to no one else, but topical to MJ. Yeah, topical to only MJ. Hello, page seven, says Elsa, while working on my senior thesis late into the night,

I discovered that famous vintage beefcake Marlon Brando could very possibly be grandfather to none other than the infamous Courtney Love. This is one of those theories that I had to write in ASAP because of how unusual it is. And this is one of those where kind of seems like, might be legit. I was looking for information about an author

named Paula Fox when my internet search revealed. By the way, I've been watching I'll be gone in the dark. This is like a very light version of that, right? A real sleuth, Elsa is. Very different, I'm sure. But don't let it destroy you, Elsa, if this is getting to the truth.

I was looking for information about an author named Paula Fox when my internet search revealed that she is the maternal grandmother of Courtney Love. Paula Fox grew up in an emotionally abusive household and was surrendered by her mother to a founding home until she was taken in by a kind reverend living in upstate New York. Fox eventually became well acquainted with famous acting coach Stella Adler and lived with her in

1944 the year when she met and became extremely friendly with one of Adler's students, a young Marlon Brando. Shortly thereafter, Fox became pregnant and decided to give her daughter up for adoption. Throughout the years, there have been persistent rumors that Brando was the father to Paula Fox's baby. This child would be known later in life as Linda Carroll, best known as the psychotherapist author and the mother to musician Cardinal. Bum bum bum. Wow. So wait, this would also go on to say that then Courtney Love and

and Chloe Kardashian are related, or I guess it would be step sisters. Oh, really? I don't even know. Well, I don't know. This is just theorizing about the Brando connection. But yeah, I guess that would make that. Oh, because she's also connected to Brando? Yeah, right?

I mean, I think Brando's got, I think I might be Brando's like great-grandson at this point. I mean, sometimes you can spread the seed. I think the thing that makes it. This theory is so interesting. You saw Last Tango and whatever, whatever that sex movie he made was. I think the thing that makes this theory so interesting to me is the absolute randomness of it.

And I hope you like this one as much as I do. I absolutely love the podcast. I'm so grateful to have your voices as company while I'm stuck inside during the rainy season. Love y'all so, so much, your pal, Elsa. And I'm a little jealous of the rainy season you describe because we're in L.A., we're in never rain. Hook to California.

Is it just a lovely place? It is. Do I need to see, by the way, sorry, sidebar, do I need to watch Last Tango in Paris? Because then I just looked it up. It's like, I have not seen this movie. Do I need to see this movie? It's like crazy, I think.

I should probably watch it. It's like a relic. It's this weird, like, yeah, it's like one of those, like, sex movies. I love sex movies. I think you would like it because it's definitely like Marlon Brando and his sex movies.

I think I might like it. And I'm gonna rub it. I'm gonna rub it. I'm gonna rub it. I'm gonna rub my ownie. I feel like this is also kind of like the end of his career or like the last thing he did. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's good. I don't know if it's bad. But I know it's like, I know it's a punchline of a sort for a long time. You know what I mean? It's kind of one of those punchline movies a little bit when it comes to, you know,

because it's just older Brando in the mix with sort of a very errant. It's a very erotic episode we've had. Yeah, don't. Oh, man, there's nothing that makes me feel more erotic than sitting in my mother. sewing room and recording this podcast. I am sleeping out of my seat.

Yeah, I guess he's... Oh, baby. This is not him at his peak. Man. No, it's not in his peak. He is old. It's him. It's like godfather him.

Uh, so you guys believe it because we probably should keep a boobin. Yeah, I believe it. A hundred percent. Yes, Courtney Love. A hundred percent. Call your grandpa, Marlon Brando. Oh, wait.

Did you say Courtney Love or Courtney Kardashian? Did you say Chloe Kardashian? Am I? Courtney Love, you psycho? What's going on with you? You know, man. As they said in what we're doing in the shadows, I think you have the brain scrambles.

Only day, I have the brain scrambles, Lysania. But also, I've got enough hatred for Mondays to read the list. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Oh, my God, I have brain scrambleses. Total D-Bagg moves on film sets by big time of Hollywood. Directors, did you guys know that Richard

Donner kept Margo Kidder nearly blind in 1978 Superman. He forbade her from wearing her contacts while shooting. He had people check every day because she was charmingly clumsy without them. What are you talking about Richard Donner? Jesus Christ, that's like my nightmare. Yeah, it's awful. I mean, I wore an eye patch a snake pliskin for Halloween and even that for a couple hours. I'm like, this is hot. Well, don't even get me started when I was get punched in the

balls boy in this high school play. I mean, every day they were swollen. They were bigger than my knees. At a point. Well, did you know that William Friedkin slapped to one of his actors as hard as he could as he could on a movie set? It was for the exorcist. And the person was a priest who couldn't portray the right level of shock. So Friedkin slapped him as hard as he could. And that was a brutal set. We've talked about it before. Yeah. Lifelong back problems for the little girl or was it the mom because of an incident on set? You know, the slap and sometimes got a handout slaps. I only think of how much in rewatching Waterworld,

it was like, how many times did these? I mean, there were so much slapping of women in the movie Waterworld that I was like, I wonder if they were slapping in real life. There's got, I mean, went on a boat. Did you know that on the abyss that an actress complained about being treated like an animal? Mary Elizabeth Man, Strantonio, got slapped for a scene. Another slapped.

James Cameron movie. even after the camera went off, so she got up and said, we are not animals! And left. Beautiful. Extremely actor. It's like obviously workplace,

like abuse is not funny, but I just imagine an actor being like, excuse me, you know, just being very. Yes. I will not. And of course,

Roman Polanski, he even. But also, on Chinatown, he plucked out a hair from Faye Dunaway's face. It was spoiling the shot, apparently.

went up and yanked it from her head, presumably moving it would never have worked. He had to just rip it right out of her head. And we all know about Shelley Duvall being terrorized on the set of The Shining, but, you know, I guess you win. It got her. That's the classic. Yeah, that's the classic one. Yeah.

We talk about abuse in the workplace. I mean, unfortunately, it is maybe my favorite horror film of all time. It's such a good movie, but it is truly hard to enjoy it the same way when you know that this poor woman was just being like abused in her workplace. You know, it's like fucking awful. Yeah, for sure. But man, what a great movie. Great performance.

I mean, unbelievable. But there's also times when people do these kind of thing, like to get Winona Ryder to cry, Francis Ford Coppola had people mock her on set. She was supposed to be shocked and terrified for a Dracula scene. So Coppola shouted things like, you, huh? And asked her male co-stars to join in. Why? Can't we act?

I feel like Winona Ryder can cry. I mean, I've seen Edward Scissor Hands. I think that you really get in there, get her in there with that big old bone of meat. I don't know if you have to say, I think that if someone called me a whore to my face like that in front of a bunch of people, I would just get really angry. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Like, can't we just be like, okay, we're going to do an exercise here where we all call you a whore, but you know we're, we don't mean it, but it's just to get you upset rather than just, I don't know. It seems like there's got to be a better way. Can we just, yeah, why don't we just give them a call? Just be like, all right, let's just go watch Coco. Real quick break. Yeah, and everyone's going to cry.

Just go watch Coco. Go watch. There's some, and now I'm like really in touch with it. There's so many movies I could pull from me. Like, just give me, you know, 30 minutes. Just watch the end of Coco. Yeah. Oh, I'll cry.

Oracle. I'll put on Jurassic Bark and I will cry. There's lots of things that I'll cry to. Call her a mean name that's not so gendered. Anything is better than just Francis Ford Coppola screaming a whore. it would know a writer. That's just so sad. Oh,

a clothing thief. Yeah. And also James Cameron, you bastard, genuinely frightened Kate Winslet on the Titanic set. It wasn't just her. People called him a tyrant and just about everyone is terrified of him

and his temper that could explode at any moment. I guess it's really the kind of thing that I know that things have changed. I'm glad that things have changed. But I'm pretty sure James Cameron's still a complete asshole. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't mean very specific. I just feel like it's like, I would write a letter to someone and be like, he's bad at this.

And maybe he shouldn't do this anymore. But, you know, for this I truly do think is like a, for decades, directors, especially high status, male directors were just like, my job is to make people cry. You know, like, they just had carte blanche to be like the worst abusers ever because they were like, it's for the art, you know? And until like a few years ago, people were like, I guess that's what directors do, you know, like what recourse did you have? Yeah. Just, yeah, and it's like that or it's like, or do you just get fired? And it's all just so, I don't know, I was just reading through these. I just wanted to share some of them just to make you upset.

Think about those boys. We've got to get you out. We've got to get you out of Florida. We immediately have to get you out of here. This is how much. Did you just hear yourself talk? I just want to shout to you guys make you upset.

So I just want you guys be upset right now. Someone help me get me out of here. Island boys. What did the Island boys come and save me? They're in Florida too. I was going to say they're in Florida. I love Florida. But I know that I don't live the same Florida

that you have lived in. It's different. It is a different. That's my list. I kind of feel like if the Island Boys almost kissed, though, it would be like okay for some reason. You think so? Why?

I don't know. I just feel like they could get away with it. You know what I mean? They got the, with the face tats and everything. Is it the criminal past? And it's the dark criminal past. I think I'd be like, you know, not completely blown away. But let's get into it, guys.

Because you know what? If I know anything, it's that I'm going mother fucking. End items. Ah, we can't see them. Oh, my God. Get ready for a bunch of these, whatever's. I'm ready. Here we.

This trend was probably. more than a decade ago, but it seems that anal bleaching is making a comeback. I wasn't ready. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't ready. No, why? This is such a, what's going on

with this episode? Why are we doing this to everybody? It's a weird one. Oh, the news is upsetting? What if we just tell you a bunch of other upsetting things that aren't even the news? Kissing twins. Fucking abusive directors from 30 years ago.

With literally, and I feel so bad as literally there's a person over cleaning your barber right now, and my baby. he's just screaming the whole time, and I'm just like, anal bleaching and doing so is hugging each other.

It's such a nightmare. Oh, yeah, it's a weird one, guys. All right, this is true. It seems that anal bleaching is making a comeback in this one name. I'm gonna crawl up inside myself and die right now. This one name, A-List singer, recently had it done to herself.

Who does annoying stuff all the time? that has one named Sort of A-List singer at this point. Somehow managed to un-A-list herself almost somehow lately. Started big in the 80s. Madonna? Madonna. Yeah. I don't know if she ever stopped bleaching her anus, right?

I know, right? The tree bill was first offered in Hollywood in 2005 in spas, but creams are now sold for use at home. The start of the trend was mainly attributing. Jump blind, like, who cares if Madonna is her? I know. He should have out of the house. It's like the man was killed at the crowd.

So what would you rather be talking about? What do you want me to talk about with the blinds? Yeah, the other guy killed the other guy in the crowd. The start of the truth is maybe the truth. Whatever. We don't have to you talk. All right, here's the next one. All of a sudden, there is a lot more competition for voiceovers and animated work.

It is pushing out established voiceover actors who could use the work. Instead, you have people like. this A-list mostly movie actor who is doing tons of animated voiceover stuff right now because he isn't vaccinated. You don't have to be vaccinated to do voiceover. Who do you think that is?

Chris Pratt. Well, sometimes, man, sometimes you just got to put on your Christian music playlist and to go out of the woods and run and that makes Chris Pratt feel better. But he just didn't even want to run after when everyone was so upset about his Instagram. He says, and I did it anyways and gosh,

Was I right? It felt amazing. I got out of the woods, got my blood pumping. I hate you, of course. I think I'm more annoyed at the, again, exactly that post about his wife is the thing I complain about on this show all the time. He didn't say best friends, but that is exactly the thing I complain about all the time. She's in the other room, bro.

Just tell her. Stop signaling to all of us that you're this amazing husband relationship guy. And by the way, adult men who say, Josh are stupid at loser, a moron, idiot. Whatever, the whole list. Adult man says gosh. Don't say gosh. Or freaking, you know, is your kid around, no.

Oh, man, you hate freaking. You really hate freaking. And also your Christian music, I mean, what even is? I guess that's a good genre still. I mean, I like yellow card. Yeah. You do like Yellow Card. You do like Yellow Card.

But regardless, yeah, another blind claims he absolutely refused. to apologize for that controversial social media post. And we didn't even touch on the most controversial part of it, which is that he says that, you know, he got a healthy daughter from this lady. That's the whole thing. Compared to his premature baby from Anna Farras. And this is the thing, MJ.

I always have to hate follow somebody on Facebook. Some kid from my high school who hates vaccinations and this, that, and the other end, you know, he's like, this guy's just celebrate and love. What does this even mean? And then someone in the post was like, I think it's actually about this kid. and how, you know, he sort of said this

and it seems like weird in the face of this other thing. He was like, well, that's not what I read. It's like, yeah, bro, get out of that one Facebook group you're in and go read actually what happened. Admittedly. Google the thing. Admittedly, I just thought it just sounded fucking weird. I didn't even really pick up on the healthy.

The whole thing is just... The whole thing is just... fucking creepy. But then you have the additional thing of, like, my first child was, like, premature and has some ongoing, like, health issues. and now I have a health. My wife gave me a healthy child.

It's just creepy, creepy, creepy. It's creepy, creepy, creepy. I don't do anything for it. Like, all I do is open the pickle child. Like, go fuck yourself. Like, get in there then, jerk. Yeah. Get in there.

I mean, we scream it all the time of how, like, you know, the Adams family, Gomez and Morticia, why they are so celebrated is because they are the antithesis of what sitcoms have always said about a relationship

of like, oh, the old bag bones over here. And there's no need to continue that kind of stereotype. There's no need for it. And I don't do nothing, which also like celebrate yourself at least then. You know, at least. Yeah. What would you

rather for this final blind? Fighting or fucking. Oh, fucking. If you thought this A-list, mostly movie actor, who is an Oscar winner slash nominee, used to be lazy in bed, then add 20 pounds, a decade of age, and a chain smoking habit. And you get a guy who needs a lot of time to get everything to work. And then after that, barely

ever finishes. Russell Crow. No. Go fuck yourself. Damn. You're out. Two more strike, Shaggy, and you don't get to do next week's page seven.

You're out of your record. I'm binging you for a week. It's my only outlet. Please. Okay, so, all right. Hit me. Give me another clue. He's a man of the town,

and he doesn't like the brown. Smoking. He's, he likes him young. Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. 100%. Oh. Whoa, the Bezos thing.

And then everyone's like, oh my God, multi-fucking billionaires. They're just like us because Leonardo DiCaprio wanted to fuck his wife. And I, and then Jeff Bezos was like, I'm going to get you

Leonardo DeCapar. It's like, shut off, Bezos. Fuck you. Go almost kiss your twin, Bezos. Yeah. Put on a turtle neck and kiss your brother. I will also say, though, for the other blind.

Apparently, Olivia Wilde, flew home from Halloween weekend looking none too happy a day early. She attended her hubby Harry Styles' concert in NYC. Left a day early, did not look very happy on that flight. So, Trouble in Paradise. Uh-oh, trouble in paradise? Yeah. I thought you were about something snippy about Olivia Watt.

I was hoping to kind of you were going to get in there. No, I didn't get in there. What do you really think about her? I'm deflated. I get in there. I'd watch the video of Harry Styles dressed as Dorothy at his concert, and he was singing somewhere over the rainbow, and I cried to it. I'm emotionally stable. And speaking of emotionally stable, can you see? Yeah, I'm super, I can see it before. It's all a bruise. It's a joke.

What? Whoa. You guys ain't really go blind every week? I mean, come on. What do we do anything? I thought you were a miracle baby. I thought you were our miracle baby, and I'm sorry that you're not anymore. But now we have to sing the shout-out song because it's time for the page seven shout-outs. Shout! Okay. Shout. Let it all out.

All right. These are the emails that you wrote about. Come on. We can read it to you. Come on. Thank you guys so much for writing in your shout-outs. You know I love to hear. from you and if you've got a shout out to send in, you can hit us up at page seven podcast

at gmail.com. That is seven the number. All right, stirrepping. I'm ready to send hugs via your ears. Out to kisses to Dan, who wrote a beautiful, amazing shout out in for his fiance, Steph. Thank you so much for getting back to me, Dan. Dan says I wanted to do a shout up for my fiance. She struggles with bipolar two and is honestly an inspiration to me. She's an incredible mother, endlessly tolerant of my man-boyness, and is so driven, it's hard to keep up. She's the nicest, kindest, gentless badass you could ever hope to meet. I also wanted to shout out our store. Again, it wouldn't exist without her drive, and we're so proud of it. It's called Grin and Grimmis, and we sell creepy slash alt clothing. We're also, we're also,

about supporting and promoting independent artists so everything on our site is designed by them and is linked back to their socials. Everything we sell is also eco-friendly and is shipped without plastic and there are loads of vegan options too. We're at grin and grimace.com.uk. And that is grin and grimace and you should totally check it out. And thank you again to Steph and Dan so much for a right egg and also, ah, Kira. Thank you so incredibly much for hitting us up about your partner, David Wilson. Kira says my boyfriend's birthday is coming up on November 5th. We missed it, but it's fine. He's been a huge fan for years and listens every day. I was wondering if you would give him a happy birthday shout out on a podcast. I brought him some

of your merchandise and think this would be an amazing gift to go with it. I really do believe that he's your biggest fan and you recognizing him would mean the world does both. His name is David Wilson. He produces his own music at Bo Wilson Productions on all platforms. He's turning 24 and from Alaska. Thank you so much if you even consider it. Of course, Kira. I love you and I love David Wilson so much. And David, I hope that you have an amazing birthday, you gorgeous Scorpio. And oh, thank you so much, Shay Bay for writing in your love. You did not denounce yourself, Shea, but that's what I call my in real life friend Shea. So I am technically, psychologically passing my love through to you, Shea Bay, to Shea Bay. Well, any bay.

I get it. I'm sorry, Shea. We're here for Heather, because it's her birthday on November 15th, not for Shea Bayes. Shea says, Heather is my coven leader, an incredible friend through all of my and the rest of our coven's ups and downs. She's an incredibly strong, breathtakingly beautiful, and such a smart human being. She keeps us all in check and takes care of all 400 plus of us. She makes the best candles, is the best tarot reader I know, and is just the best friend in support anyone could ask for. She got me into page 7, and I love being able to dish about it with her and our LPN conspiracy group every week.

I love you, Heather, and I hope your birthday is great! Thank you again so much, Shea, for writing in. And Emma, I can't thank you enough for your kind words, and your sibling shout out! I didn't cry. I didn't cry when I read it. I did cry, but like, in a good way, kind of cry. I also got to hang out in a sibling pack this weekend, and I love it and I miss it. And thank you so much. Emma. Emma says, I wanted to give a shout out to my two amazing and beautiful sisters, Maggie and Mary. I am so proud of you both. You are my best friends. And because we all live in different states, it can be really hard to see each other.

So it meant so much to me when you two came down to visit me in South Carolina. I feel like a whole person. person when the three of us are together. Next time, Johnny, their brother, has to come so that we can complete the perfect quartet. We need to spend more time together as siblings because we are four pretty amazing people. I know that with each other's love and support, we will continue to build healthy relationships with our first and chosen families, and we will become the sources of our own stability and happiness in our lives. I was a difficult tyrannical big sister back in the 90s, so I never told you when we were kids, and I don't say it enough now. But But I love you all so, so much.

Oh, and I love you, Emma, and I love you, Maggie and Mary and Johnny, too. And thank you so much for writing in. Oh, and speaking of siblings, we have love from one sib to another. And Elizabeth, I will always remember your email, because there's nothing I love more than beginning an email with a raging, Wasap. Anyway, Elizabeth wrote in to send a huge, huge 30th birthday love to Michelle. Elizabeth says, I'm sending over a birthday shout out to the best big sister in the world.

Michelle! Michelle turns 30 on November 14th, and they mean the world to me. Michelle is my best friend, eternal hero, and my biggest supporter. They have always been there for me through the good, bad, and ugly. We come from a family that can be challenging at times, to say the least, but I always know Michelle is there for me with love and acceptance. I will always be there for them, too. Not only do they kick ass as an older sibling, but they also do amazing work for the community. Michelle works full time as a case manager for women experiencing homelessness in Los Angeles and spends their Saturdays volunteering for a crisis hotline.

They are an absolute badass angel with the biggest heart. And not speaking of siblings, but speaking of friendships as close as siblings, Cleo wrote in an amazing friend birthday shout-out for Kat Von. Herneson! And I'm sorry for saying your full name, Kat, but I love it. Cat von Herneson. Cleo says, ever since Kat moved from Ottawa to Montreal, we've had a Betty and Veronica

kind of relationship. We're rarely in the same scenes, but when we get together, there ain't no tape we couldn't watch, nor feral orphan we wouldn't forget about. Cat and I bonded over page 7. That was great. I just love it. I love that line. Thank you, Cleo.

No tape, we wouldn't watch, no feral orphan, we wouldn't forget about. Thank you. Cleo says, Kat and I bonded over at page seven with Holden's I'm Sorry song he sang to Jackie and Marcus in episode 258. Not sure if you guys remember it, but the sheer chaos got us hooked.

In the years since then, we've gossed over each episode of page seven at Riverdale Roundup, and I wanted to thank you guys for always giving us something to laugh and yell with week after week. So, Kat, as Holden screamed in the sorry song, throw up and live your life. I'm so proud of you. lucky to call you my friend, and I can't wait to see what you do in this new decade of your life.

I hope you have a great birthday cat. And, ah, hi, Sailor Scoot. Sailor Scoot wrote in, and Sailor Scoot, you're never a sailor snoot to me. That's only a silly, silly holden. And thank you for scooting into my heart. Sailor Scoot is a part of our Twitch community, and they wrote in an amazing self-shout. Hell yes. Sailor Scoot says, recently I was in my local theater's production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. and as Columbia during the dinner scene. You know, where they eat meat, love. Also, sorry for spoilers to a 45-year-old movie.

And it was a huge success. It was my first time performing with a Rocky Horror Shadowcast, and I think we really hit it out of the park. And it was at Tampa Theater. The same stage, the last podcast boys have performed on, it was a huge honor. I can't wait to be a part of the future productions. I think I've really found a love for performing.

I'm so proud of you! I know it's so difficult to start off. Ooh, but once you rip that band-aid off, baby, welcome to the circus. And Mallory, I love you, and thank you so much for writing in about your birthday. I see you, and I am excited that you turn 29 on November 7th, and I promise it only gets better the higher that number gets. Also, also, you share a birthday with one of our favorite Scorpio's, The Amazing Lexi! So thank you for taking the time to write in and working in a hospital laboratory overnight sounds sick as fuck, and it probably might not be, But in my head, Mallory, you spent your birthday living inside the movie The Autopsy of Jane Doe,

and that's definitely not what your life is. Well, I mean, I hope it isn't. But I refuse to change how awesome I think your life and career is. We love you back, and I pass along the message of love to everyone. Thank you for sharing your birthday wish with us. Speaking of how amazing our Twitch community is, our very own Dorothy Zanx has gotten married. And I'm so proud of you.

I feel like I watched all of it happen from the sidelines. Katie says, I wanted to shout out to my wonderful husband Cole for putting up with me during this pandemic. We got engaged in January of 2020 and finally had our wedding on October 17th, 2021 after a postponing. He's such an amazing partner and I can't imagine going through this crazy world without him. He supports all of my crazy dreams is an amazing dad to our fur babies, Maude and Gomez, and an amazing uncle to our tiny nieces. He makes me want to be the best version of myself and has been so patient and supportive

while I get my act together to be a functional adult. I'm so excited to begin building our lives together and can't wait to see what adventures we have. Oh, I'm so proud of you. I love your love and I love you Dorothy's Annex and I love you as well, Ashland. And I just want to say, and you hear me, Ashland, last but not fucking least,

I want to give you this shout out. I'm so sorry that you were going through this bullshit right now. But thank you so much for reaching out to us. I'm sending you all of the love in the world. It will get better, I promise. I know that doesn't change anything, but I hope that you feel my hug through your earholes because we love you, and I just, I wish you the best.

I know it's not fun. You've got it. We have to be stronger. We're stronger than the storm. I love you, Ashland. I love all of you guys. Thank you so much for writing in. And again, you can send in your shableness.

out to page seven podcast at gml.com that is seven the number and i will kiss you through your ears or kiss you through your nose either way it's going to be scary thank you guys so much for your page seven shout outs i really appreciate it i think i said that at the end of the shoutouts so i can't remember and um we are here to say goodbye is there a goodbye song maybe we should start singing the uh so long farewell, our theater said goodbye at the end of every episode. I guess I'd have to learn it. I don't think I've seen that one.

Which one's that one? From the sound of music when all the little Van Trapp children come and they're like, I'm sad to go and say this goodbye. MJ, how dare you throw this. Oh, singing children. Oh, you're in your hour of need in Florida and I put him singing children.

Even the Von Trapp children, you don't even like the singing Von Trapp children. What's worse? What's worse? Children's singing or twins almost kissing. What do you rank them? Oh, God, don't, I don't know. You don't know.

I think, honestly, I think, you know what it is? I think it is Barney using energy to make me come without a condo bar. That's what I like the most. I want to throw up. Can we get at it? I'm going to go to you. We got to end this episode before anything else happens. I love you.

I love you. What a weird episode. And if you have made it this far, I think you deserve an award. Is this our gold star episode, as they call it? And last five I guess left, do you get the gold star for making it through this just minefield of disgusting stories?

Should have put home improvement facts through it. I think that's really what have made this one made this episode. How was AstroWorld the least disturbing story? That was like that. That's true. That was the most normal thing we talked, At least upsetting. You know what I will say?

I got a smile on my face. And I hope that you guys do too. My name is Jackie Sbrowski. You follow me on Instagram. Check that worm. Come check out. I'm going to be home soon. And you can come hang out over on Twitch.

tv. Oh, no. It's Jackie. Tuesdays we talk about sex. And Thursdays we talk about fashion. And I, uh, Fridays and I get hammered. And we, I guess, are going to have a Taylor Swift episode on Friday. I don't care as long as I'm going.

in that hotel street. Oh, no, I'm gonna hate this. R&I.M.J. Save me, MJ. You're my only hope. You broke me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest. I love Holden's love for Taylor Swift, but that's kind of,

that love for Holden doesn't really extend to Taylor Swift, but maybe it will one day. Whoa, oh my God, Holden, speaking of, sorry, just real quick, this very, very end. here. Taylor Swift is coming out with a partnership with Starbucks and I think that she listens to our episode. It's another one. And that's a beautiful and unlike Ariana Greta who steals, Taylor Swift, it's inspired by

my words and deeds. So thank you, Taylor. She champions. It's very different. So thank you, Taylor Swift. It's very different. She champions my words instead of deceives them. So isn't that interesting, Arianna? Oh, you. Is it my turn to? I can't remember. Yeah, it is. I'll go.

I'm MJ and I'm MJKL can on Instagram. Twitch. TV4 slash Holdenators Ho. I'm concerned on there Monday, Tuesday, Friday. Come be disturbed by the content. Maybe you'll... I guess I'm giving money to my friends lately. Julia Johns won $400 fucking playing quiplash last night.

So what are you going to do? I know. You started paying people right when I left. They don't get paid as they win, is the funny part. They have to win a single game of quibblash at the very end of the stream. They could walk away with hundreds of dollars and no one else wins to anything. Now I want to come. Jackie,

Jackie can come together. I'll let you know, MJ. I'll get you on the next one. Bytes of death. That'd be great. Yeah, chaos rains. And thank you guys so much for joining us on this very weird episode of page seven. And we will be back next week.

Who knows what's in store. We love you guys. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.