Page 7 - Ep. 433: Get Out Your Knee Extenders Boys!

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout the adventure of going to the furniture store, celebrity body part insurance policies, Holden's dark trumpet secrets, mailman hands, the When We Were Young Festival and its rip RWARin lineup, Daniel Radcliffe prepping to play Weird Al, Nicole Kidman responds to the feedback from her AMC ad, the rightful backflash regarding Melanie Lynskey's treatment on the set of Yellowjackets, the massive amount of tears shed to the newest season of Queer Eye, and in celeb conspiracy corner; Is the CW hiding a secretly taped gay episode of the cult show Supernatural?! Also, Jackie insures your interest with a wild list, the blinds and SHOUTZ! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. And Friday, Holden and I were given the best gift of all time. We're on Holden's Twitch. We were doing Jacking with the Holdies. And someone paid for us to sing, Well, moon it's your life like a big pizza pie. That's a moody. When the world's like that, too much wine, that's a moody.

We'll ring, tingle-ling, a ling, tingleing, a ling. And you'll sing, Vida bella. I'm so going, hearts will play tippy, tippy tippy tippy like a gay d'antella. And I realize why am I such a little Italian beautiful idiot that I didn't ever sing this at karaoke before. It is my new karaoke song for when I sit alone and sing songs to myself. But in the future, man, guys, I cannot,

I cannot recommend it enough. page seven. Oh, it's a spicy meatball of an episode. Bustavitjol. Spicy meatballs of my pants, am I right? I don't know how to do this anymore. It's only been a week old. It's just a regular week.

We haven't even been through hell this week as far as I know. No, not at all. Things are going pretty well. I've got a beer in my hand, a brisk, nice, cold, tall IPA. That's brew, baby. Brisk brisk crew. Look at us. We're young.

Very young. It's just like a movie. No. We are young and not like the fun song. I am, I'm feeling great today. How are you guys feeling? You know, I feel like it's just the kind of thing where I don't know if I'm just absorbing the feelings of I'm so desperately trying to cling to happiness that I'm actually

happy now. Man, you know, sometimes you've got to fake it. you make it. And I've been feeling great. How are you guys feeling? I'm feeling good too. Yeah. It's a bit of a fuck it Friday vibe. Even though it's not Friday, but you know, and if it's Ash Wednesday, but no, is it? I don't think it is. It's just the ashes of our sadness. Yeah, it's ashes of our sadness. This is how we burn it all to the ground, all of our hopes and our dreams. But man, those ashes will save it. I have, I've transitioned from directly from COVID to moving. So I think that's where my brain is.

God, we didn't even talk about that before we started. How did that even fucking go? Doesn't that suck a fucking though it's doubt this dream? Oh, I'm very much still in the middle of it. It's just, you know, it's just imagine, you know, where I met with my mind is like I just survived the thing I spent two years fearing, which was my family all getting COVID. And you're not getting it so you got to take care of everybody else. Which is good.

And at the same time, does it kind of bum you out that you didn't get it a little bit? Just because you can just have gotten and be like, I got it. It's fine. Well, now I'm just like we're in this. It's not like we're doing anything that different, but we were really, really shut in before. So like we took the kids on the,

masked on the train to go to Raymore and Flanagan, the furniture store. Everybody loves Raymore and Flanagan. Wow. Highlight. This is the fuck that thing about a pandemic. Not like one of those fun bounce houses that seem to be all the rage these days.

Well, we don't know how immune they are. We don't really ever. I keep out. I asked the pediatrician, I'm like, so are they, like, totally safe now for at least three months? And they were like, no, we don't really know. But it's the war. Yeah, no one knows, and it's whatever, dude. I know.

But I do want to, I want to, I want to go ham. I want to go to Disney World. I want to at least take them to Atlantic Center Chuckie cheese. I want to do something. Oh, God, don't. You shouldn't have done that before, Ben. We took him to Raymore and Flanagan, but I know. I haven't heard the name Raymore and Flanagan.

Flanagan, I think in 15 years. I feel like you're turning your children into these like Chikovian characters. Like, someday we'll get to go to a theme park. Someday to theme park, to Disney World, someday we'll go Verishnikov, you know what I mean? But today we get to go to a big room with lots of couches in it. I was like upselling it so much. I was like, you know how in Corderoy he goes to a big floor?

He goes up an escalator to a big, because we read Corderoy is in a department store, complete abstraction to a trout who's never left the house. So I'm like, what's gonna be like just like in Quirderate? A room full of beds and coming on. Can we just go to the dentist? I don't know what's even happening right now. We all have memories. I think it's probably a mix

of fond and bad memories of doing errands like that with our parents going to the furniture store. But like the pandemic will fuck you up so much that you think like what before the pandemic I would have been like, oh my God, kill me. I need to take my children to Ray Warren and Flanagan. Whereas with the pandemic, I'm like, we get to go ahead!

You know, it was like the most exciting thing we did in months. Did they have fun on the furniture at least? They did, except they were just like, like, Freddie was like absolutely baffled as to why she couldn't take her shoes off and jump on all the couches. Like, there was beds everywhere and she was like, can I please? And I was like, keep your shoes off the beds. And she was like, can I take my shoes off? And I was like, not really. Like, you're not really supposed to.

I mean, you kind of could do that, but then you're that mom at the department store. I'm like, am I really going to just let you like just take your shoes off? Do you remember the worst? was when you went with your parents, like your mom, to, like, a store like that, and it was, like, all fine, everything. But then they run into the friend, and then you're just like, and you guys were just about to leave. Yeah.

They ran into the friend, and then you're just like, um, mu, mm-hmm. I was always the good kid, though. So I was the good kid, so I always was quiet. And I was always silent. I would be so rude. No. No. No.

Can we go it? I don't know if, like, obviously, I don't have children, so I can't. can't speak towards this, but I will say my mom did early and often of, she pretended that she couldn't hear the pitch of whining. And so she would be like, I would help you, but I don't speak wine. I need you to speak properly. And then I can hear you. And she just, and I was like, how many years did we scream wine for, like, and you had to pretend like you couldn't hear us? She's like, honestly, not that long. You guys really got used to it pretty fast. Because you're just trying to get through. I mean, that's what you're doing with that.

So that's not getting through in a different way does it than a different way does it do. I'm bad at this. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. How tired are you guys? I want a scale of one to a hundred. Both of you guys.

How tired are we? I'm fine. I'm living that couch dad life right now. You're channeling some space man whatever in your vibes. Jenkins? I made a weird spot because essentially it's come to a head.

The roommate situation has come to a head. We're hopefully losing our roommate soon to a different room. I like that you've been referring to the baby as your roommate. I didn't take a double take. So, Lexi, between my snoring and the baby, you know, waking up and having needs and whatever is just clashing lately.

And I cannot handle being a problem when I literally have no consciousness of it. You know what I mean? And then you wake up the next day and I'm like, apparently I was just this nightmare. And apparently, too, I would get woken up and I'd be like, just let me try to stop snort. I'd be like, I'd talk like out of my head. I have no memory of this. She'd have to tell me the next day. I'd literally be like, just let me try.

Let me try to stop snoring. And then the baby wakes up. Oh my God, I remember like holding the sleeping baby and then having Gideon. Not even, like he does snore a little bit, but like he would do something completely hard, most like roll over and then the baby would wake up. Right, right. And I would just sit in a silent dark room and just stare with devil like daggers in my eyes. Like, I'll divorce you.

You rolled over and you woke up the baby. I'll never forgive you. I cannot receive unintended ire any longer. So I have now chosen. to sleep on the car. I saw up my vagina. You guys have convinced me I will sew up my vagina.

Nothing is coming out of it. Nothing's going back into it anymore. I'm fine with that. At first I was sad for two seconds and then I was like watching TV in bed and I didn't have to be quiet around a baby. And I was like, wait, never, but yeah, no totally. College kid, you know, totally backed.

And I'm like drinking a beer. And I was like, never mind this fucking rules. It's been almost two years, bless the Lord, since the child has shared my room. And I still prefer to fall asleep with the TV on just because I can. You know, because there was that time that I couldn't. And now I'm like, just put the TV on loud. I want to be loud. I want the light on.

And I also have the thing about I love falling asleep with the TV on. It's like a guilty pleasure of mine. But yes, it's like truly, you will be very happy when that baby gets. Oh, it's so great. Lexi came out before bad. We watched Euphoria and just cuddled in bed. and just had the best time. Man, nothing gets you in the mood for love making then.

Putting on an episode of euphoria. It doesn't make you just want to be like, we'll never let Winnie out of the house. What if a child called it? And we, but like in a good way, like in a odd way. It is so insane. It's just the thing. I can't even get lost in that thought process.

It makes me insane. But anywho, Zendaya. Zendaya, please. Whatever. I know you say Zendaya. I say it's potato potato, right? What happened to potato potato? It always makes I think of Zendaya's Mici,

the dumb viral fucking video that lives in my brain alongside other songs that I will not say right now, blurred lines, that has been stuck in my head for three days. But it is a weird kind of prison. You chose not to bear that burden in silence, Jackie, so I think that you should bear that burden. Yeah, Jackie sent MJ the link to the song, as some sort of bizarre extra torture device.

You know, it's so bizarre. At 2.45 in the morning. And also another little, Gideon also, I think, fumes at me in my sleep because I often forget, because I'm just like, turn on everything when I fall asleep. I forget sometimes to silence my phone. So sometimes he'll be trying to fall asleep. And my phone will be doing the little like, like the heart, you know, the group chat, heart noises and the ha-haz. and so I'm sure that I know that my phone was on last night

because I also got some, it wasn't you, some random text at 545 a.m. that I was up for and I was like, uh-oh. And then I looked, what other texts did I get in the night that probably also woke up getting at? And it was 2.45 a.m. text from Jackie that was just a link to blurred lines on Spotify. No comment, nothing else, just blurred lines. And I was so, I was, you don't know how long the hours were between when I woke up to when it was LA time appropriate

to text Jackie and be like, why did you send this to me? Why did you send me blurred lines? And it turned out she just wanted to talk about it, you know? I just, she was just thinking about it. She wanted to talk about it. I just wanted to talk about it. It's been in my head for days.

And if I said, everybody get up in front of Jeff one more time. I was worried that he was going to end the engagement. I thought like that way. And I was like, I just need to talk about, like, I know. It's not a good song. I know it's bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. It shouldn't be played anywhere. And I'm not, I'm not supporting it at all.

I just get it. I just get everybody get up stuck in my head and then the rest of the song gets in my head. And I, it's been days of it. And why is it always that your brain gloms on to the thing that like, I can't? Like, I mean, don't even get me started on remix to ignition. It makes, I, I can't. That is significantly, you cannot. I'm going to say that in the buckets of canceled songs, there are several buckets,

but two important buckets is one is like, blurred lines is like, this song does not talk about consent in a good way. That's one bucket. Remixed to ignition is a very different bucket. And unfortunately, we got to put many of Michael Jackson's songs in there too, which is just like this song is by a rapist. And that's different. Like, it's different.

Everybody get up. It's different. Can we just like take it? I don't want them to get any money. And if I could just like, like, I want to go back in the day. Remember back in the day when you had like a DOS system that you could put a theme on your computer? Like for a long time we had Blues Brothers themes and every time you would shut off the computer, it would play the like monologue, like the Blues Brothers monologue every time we shut off the computer.

I just want on my laptop every time I click something, it goes, everybody get up, every time. And I don't know how to make that happen. And I don't know if that would slowly drive me mad. but I think it might eke out of my brain crevices. Every time you scroll down to read more of an article, it goes, You know you want it. I'm like, of course I do. Of course I do.

I spent 30 minutes reading about Lloyds of London the other day, the insurance company that ensures celebrity body parts. So you know, you want it. Raymore and Flanagan, we got Lloyds of London. What the fuck kind of hip pop. TikTok, Billy Ilish. Come to us for your relevant pop culture. I don't even know.

I'm saying dated shit even right now with that shit. But you know what? Snapchat. Ugh, fuck, man. That's something. You can't just say Snapchat. I'm saying it just to remind people what this is right now. Because right now we're talking about furniture stores,

insurance fucking offices. I'm about to cut my own dick off. It's insurance office that it does insure. Celebrity Body Parts Holden. Oh, okay, there you go. That's how we got there. Yes. At least it meant something because it came back up again, which I had read this before,

that Heidi Klum was recently talking, which, oh, much loved you, Heidi Klum. And it makes sense that her legs are insured for $2 million and that one is more expensive than the other. And she was recently saying this on the Ellen DeGeneres show and talking about that it was taken out for her by. a client that she was working for and that one of her legs actually has a, she fell into a,

she fell into glass when she was younger and she has a big scar on one of her legs. So one of the insurance is less on that leg than it is for the other leg. And then I just got through a crazy worm time about celebrity insurance body parts which we will spoiler alert talk about on the list later.

I like, it's, what would you insure, Holden? What would you insure? I was going to say too just real quick. I almost have a difficult time following Heidi Klum on Instagram. She is so ridiculous at whatever. I don't even know what age she is. She is a space alien.

She is so, she still, I'll just say she still got it. And her children, her whole family's so good. Oh yeah, and her daughter's like models now. They're all so beaute.

It's redonculus, bro. I'm grateful to Heidi Kloom for bringing us into her Halloween party circle for igniting. Like, I always was like Heidi Kloom is a hot model. But I didn't know, yeah, it wasn't Heidi Klub that extended the invitation to us per se. But I always knew she was like a hot model. I didn't know that she was so interesting. And now I feel like I'm like, this is a celebrity that I actually like really enjoy like her deal.

Like she's got a great thing going on, you know. Also, I would insure my throat. Of course, Jack. Yeah, but don't you want to do your voice rather than your throat? Is a voice an entity? can you ensure a voice? Well, yeah, I thought you said body part. A voice is a, you know.

Well, that is, I think it's part of, I think anything then, I believe that then it does cover anything that makes your voice. So if your voice is affected, that like, I'm getting into the whole list, like a Mariah Carey, then you would,

like, if she can't sing anymore, most of, like, a lot of her money's got, I mean, we know that's not true when she comes out of her crypt for Christmas and then she makes millions. Well, I would say also, I would probably, if I had to pick a second one,

would be my knees. Because I am in Hollywood and I do plan to try to get some acting roles in the next few years and that will involve a casting couch. Now, won't it? So I'll need those knees fresh and ready to go. To blow someone?

Yes, to blow various people of power. You can just put someone up on like a counter and then you don't have to be on your knees if you don't want. What fancy, well-to-do Hollywood director is going to allow me to put, perch them up and a count to like a canary bird.

No, but you treat them like a Rapunzel and isn't it nice to be treated like a Rapunzel every once in a while? No, I have to bend down. It's not even the sexual act. They just need to see me grovel in such an absurd way. That's the whole point. So, you know, they may be on a pedestal

of some kind, but I'll still have to get like knee extenders because they need to see the, you know. That's what you need knee extender. Now, I know I've already brought up Braymore and Flanagan. I don't want to bring up the specifics of how insurance works, but, If I could I'm gonna slip out of my seat

So I understand like If I don't but I will If I had renters insurance That's like I say Or in high school right I got I was a trumpet player Thank you very much I had like a nice trumpet

You're welcome We did we both Hold and I did stand up And went Yay I also had to play I also played in high school too But I never actually had to play

And then there was one day Where the guy was like Everyone has to go around the room And play this one piece of sheet music To prove we all could read sheet music and luckily I was further enough back in the class that I could have it memorized by the time it got to me so I appeared to be reading the sheet music when I

actually wasn't. You really just pretended to play trumpet through ice music? I cheated. Oh yes, I totally pretended. You're a trumpet liar? What? 100%. I can't believe, I didn't know this about you until today. A hundred percent. I started off last year and I worked my way up to first year. Thank you very much. But the point is I had a nice trumpet. Forgive me because I've never really been good at anything

especially with music and I did get good at trumpet and it was like brief, it was a short shining window of being good at something I tried hard at. And I had a very nice trumpet. And it was, so we insured it. It was like a thousand bucks or something, which was a lot for a high schooler, obviously. But like different than having a string instrument. A string instrument that's nice is like $80,000. The nicest trumpet you can get cost $1,000. What? There's no fancy trumpets? What about the ones with the hat on the end? The hat is separate, Jackie. You buy the hat separately. Oh, that's a little other thing. Is it like how you dress a porch goose?

Gloria, I got you the coat. It's coming. I bought little nice fancy turquoise valves for my, like little buttons for my trumpet. It was a nice trumpet, but you just can't spend, it's a brass instrument. You can't, you max out at $1,000, or at least you did in the late 90s, early 2000s. And so, but it was insured because there was a lot of money and I was a dumb high schooler taking my trumpet everywhere I went. But the insurance was so that if I lost the trumpet, we would get the $1,000 back. So I don't understand how you insure a voice. What does Mariah Carey's insurance on her voice do?

If she can't sing, she just makes money off the insurance? That she gets a payout from it. That it's like, that you are putting in the money and you're investing in the money so that if she cannot sing anymore, then she will get money from it. Like, even if she's like, or maybe just reimburse for like the missing gigs, probably or the money she would have missed out on. What, like, if she was signed up for, if someone showed, up and said, I'll chop off your legs.

And they cut off her legs. She's just like, oh, don't see that. But they're insured. I'm going to get the money back. I love, I'm the leg chopper. I'll chop up the legs. Everybody in this neighborhood, hack, hack, hack. Oh, never mind.

I won't chop them off if they're insured. You'll get the money back. And then once she gets over that emotionally and mentally and everything, the horrible tragedy of that, she'd hit up whoever had some. her up for modeling gigs over the next year or whatever, and she'd get the money back. She'd be like, well, is that insured? It seems that, at least in Heidi Klum's case, and at least in the other ones that I lost my time reading about, is that clients take out the insurance policy.

So she did not name in this interview, she did not name the client that took out the insurance policy. So it would make sense that someone like, okay, well, if you would assume that, like, let's say you had a Vegas gig, like let's say it's like, you know, Celine Dion is a Vegas gig. and she has her, and then like, it's the gig itself that ensures her voice so that if she can't perform, they also make money back. So it's like a protection for everybody.

Why not ensure the whole person? It's just such a weird thing to be like, it's your vocal cords I need. It's really Celine Dion that you need, you know? I think it's a bass, awkward way of saying, like, well, if you're just sick, you can still sing. Like that kind of thing. But if your vocal cords have been cut out,

so you better get on that fucking stage. and you better fucking sing. Gotcha. So I think is what, at least if I'm picking up what Lloyd's of London is putting it. It seems that that is the case. And I think it's just so, like, I don't know what I would ensure. I don't think anything on me I would really necessarily ensure. Your breasts.

I guess my breasts. But like if I got to get rid of them, I'll just get you other ones. The mailman gives you five bucks every day when he sees them. I don't know. Why wouldn't you? You know what I mean? That adds up. Oh, my mailman.

He's always so hairy. Your mailman tips you for your boobs? No, he doesn't tip me for my breasts, but LA's a weird place, MJ, all right? It's a strange situation. Every time I see him, he's upset. He's always upset. He's always, I just wanted, I want to help him.

But he's very, he's gruff. I felt his hands before. Rough. And is he always trying to like nervously avoid looking at your chest? Wait, wait, MJ, how would we, why did you feel his hands? I'm the one that felt his hands. I didn't feel his hands. Yeah, I didn't know, I'm just, but you were.

you were asking further questions. I think we need to back up here. How did you end up feeling? I've never touched my male person's hands. Easy. Reach out for the male. Touch their soft hands. Yeah, touch their hands.

I've shaken his hand multiple times. Okay. Because I don't know what to do, like, because I'm a hugger and in this new world, I'm not being able to touch anyone. And I shook his hand. I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

I'm not supposed to do that. And then I, like, tried to like, like, bump elbows, but he was holding a bunch of mail. And I was like, I'm very sorry. So he gives you the mail, and then you just reach out your hand I'd say thank you so much.

That's such a weird episode. Do you hug? You wanted to hug the mailman for giving to the mail? This is weird. Yeah, he's just, he's new, you know. Insurance, how do you interact physically with your mailman and fucking furniture shop. Meanwhile, everyone in page 7 communities talking about this massive concert with Alcline Trio and My Chemical Romance and Brian is a row.

I'm a good role, man. And that is more. Oh, yeah, baby. I will also say, I think it's a very good tip. My mom is like, always make friends with your male person. You never know what you're going to need them to do. And I was like, Mom, what have you done with our male people before? So if you think my level of connection with my male person is deep, I mean, my mom knows all

about like our male person's animals. Like, my mom makes them, like, every time she's like, she loves weiner talk. so she's always making her stuff with wiener dogs on it. And I was like, that's like a whole other level. Yeah, that's like next level neighbor stuff to be like, I am familiar with my male person's favorite dog and I get like chachis of their favorite dogs. We could all aspire to that.

Yeah. Not for some time. Let's talk about it. The When We Were Young Festival happening October 22nd, 22nd, 22nd, 22 at Las Vegas Festival. Las Vegas, Nevada. I love that that's also, dude, that was so in my head. I mean, so many times,

unlike blurred lines where you're like, why is this in my fucking head? I knew why that fucking song's been in my ass. Yeah. Because I was dealing with a three-month-old day-a-day-out, yeah, but I would love to go to this. All right, My Chemical Romance and Paramore headlining.

Weirdly enough, wasn't into them before, weirdly fans now of them. Because I did the My Chemical Romance episode for Wizard of the Brewster, and that's how I got into my chemical romance. And then Paramore recently, I was like, I want to go through a pop punk phase and listen to all the shit that, like,

I never listened to more because I was like, better than it because I was in college by that time, right? And I was only listening to Postal Service and fucking death cab and, you know. I mean, yeah, it's good shit. I don't get me wrong. The mountain goes.

Ever Levine is also at this festival. Ever Levine is like, Big headsgris. Dashboard. I would totally watch Dashboard, Taking Back Sund. Alkaline Trio. But it's like a, like, listen, the funniest thing to me about this was that people, when I was in high school, people who listened to a quarter of these bands thought all the people who listened to the rest of them were stupid. Right.

We're stupid. It'll be an interesting scene. It'll be an interesting scene. Bright eyes, MJ. That's the thing. It's like, for me, I thought that all these other ones were stupid. I was like, I like, but I'll, you know, I liked Alcline Trio, bright eyes, you know, dashboard. I remember having some AFI album

I could not name a song of theirs right now if I needed to. But like, you know, the Alkaline trio and Bright Eyes were like about sad alcoholism. And then like Avril Levine everybody thought was just like stupid pop punk that didn't mean anything. And like, so it is a range of...

And the exact thing she's so much more than act. I was a little of, I didn't notice this. Bottom right corner, the Linda Lindas are performing. That's that very young girl. No, no, it's that very young girl, riot girl. that like got that viral video of them playing in the library. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yeah, I thought it was just double my mom.

And I was like, I don't know if I should go to a festival with my mom. Hey, it's me, Linda. That is not my mother that sounds like old day, no. Call me, damn. This song's called, Call me, damn it. Jimmy Eat World. Yeah, that's the thing. Jimmy Eat World, man.

It's all of it. I, you know, we all had a. I'm scared to go to a festival, guys. I'm scared to go. I'm scared of it. I mean, I'm scared to go to this festival because it's not, let's pretend there's no COVID. And we just, it is outside of COVID. It's more of like the fan basis.

Yeah, like I, do I, do I want to be around thousands of people aged 30 to 39 feeling nostalgic feelings? That are all dress like they are emoting. You should know everyone's going to dress up for this. It might not have included by the way. If I go to this, I'm going to dress like a complete fucking, you know, I should dress like a complete, you know, I should dress though as like a, I should dress like an EDM person that's thought this was a different festival and then act all sad the whole time. Like, you know what I mean? I should dress like I'm trying to be at like a crazy electronica show or whatever.

Oh my God, red jumpsuit apparatus? I can't believe red jumpsuit apparatus is still performing. They are from Middleburg. I am very familiar with red jumpsuit apparatus. and I truly can't believe that they even still talk to each other. It's everybody, man. It's everybody. The person who sent this to me was like every time I look at it, I recognize another band I'm excited about.

Wow. It's like it really is, and it is such a mix. Like, again. Tickets go on pre-sale tomorrow Friday, not our tomorrow. Y'all's tomorrow. We can get Cabana VIP tickets for an unlisted price. They're so expensive. That's very scary.

That's so scary. Oh, no, no. It is listed. It is $12,500. Wow. You like to do a VIP Cabana. Yeah, put it.

I mean. It's what do you know how poor you are when you hear a sum of money like that. You're like, that is truly laughable. But Jackie, this is what you do. You take all the money out of the wedding. Okay.

Have the wedding in the cabana. Yeah. Yes. And how, okay, I'm just going to, all right, I can convince Jeff, right? I can convince him to do that. We'll get married at the When We Were Young Festival. On October 22nd, it's only a couple of weeks before the real ready.

Pick it up and bring it to the festival. I think that this is how he's going to hear about it. And Jeff, are you ready to get married in front of Avril Levine? I'm going to have on, I want to do the wrist, the wrist stretchies. MJ, you know all about the wrist stretchies. I still, when I was packing up my shit, I found some wrist stretchies. I still got them. And lest you think, oh, it's only the $12,000, you know,

only the truly insane would want to spend $12,000 to see, you know, Avrilavine and My Chemical Romance. The general admissions, I'm going to give you the sliding scale here, general admissions ticket, 22499, GA Plus, $400, VIP, $500. VIP Cabana, already spoke about that. Hotel and ticket packages, starting at $500. We're talking about people. If I was going to throw down for this, I would strongly consider the VIP.

Because you're already spending $200,000, $2.30, whatever it is, on general admission. At that point, it's like... I'm also not saying it's not worth it, though, because that is an insane amount of bands. It's a good lineup. I guess I'm just hung up on the fact, I don't know what I hit for Warp Door, but I'm hung up on the fact that I don't think I ever paid more than $29 for a Friday. ticket. Like, it was just, like, not, you know, it was like, I remember even, when I went to Bonnaroon, it must have been, like, 2006 or 2007. Yeah, yeah. How much did we pay? I don't remember. I think I paid,

like, $500 for it, but. I guess for a festival, that makes sense. That's a three, it was one day. It was like three days, three or four days. Like, that's a thing. One day. And it's, like, all this extra stuff, because you're, like, paying for, like, the campground site and. All right, we've decided we're not going to do it. Well, we're going to do VIP. Oh, we are. Oh, oh, we are. Oh, oh, we're Gotta go VIP. We do that whole thing. You get air-condition restrooms.

You get a dedicated viewing area by the main stage. Should we talk to Henry? Do you think that the network should all get tickets to go? Yes. This is a business expense. For sure. Yes.

Especially just weeks before your wedding. You won't be doing anything else. Can we somehow get the government to take a chunk of Ben Kisles money? I mean, the man, you know what I mean? He doesn't know what to do with it. He's got, he's sitting on. He has no idea what to do with it.

Let's get intervention in there. Get the government to take it from bed and give it directly to us. I should go up to him be like, can I just be your, events planner for the next like two years. You just let, give me like a million dollars. And I will just like plan.

I will just get you at the funnest events ever. You take a million dollars and just buy us all tickets to go to the one way to a young festival. Yeah, a hundred. Yeah, that's nothing. Give us the cabana. Yeah. Come on.

We've been doing the show for a decade. Give us a cabana. You get two bottles. You get two bottles, your choice, one premium liquor, one champagne. Whoa. That's great. It pays for itself. You get a cabana.

One bottle for the entire day. Air-conditioned restrooms, charging stations. Oh, General Mission, how are you going to charge your mini phones? Lord knows. We have so many phones. How are you going to charge your tablet? How are you going to charge your laptop that you're going to bring it? It is going to be tough for us to bring in the palette of champagne bottles that we will need to supplement the one champagne bottle that they give us.

That's going to be tough. Still. As a member of the network, I will need to be confiscating upwards of $50,000 from the network to do this. I think that's okay. I'm declaring it now. It's insurance, right? It is okay. I'm ensuring that we will get to go to the Cabana VIP for this festival.

I love this journey for us. That's how it works, right? We're just insured it. Oh, we're going to have such a good time. Jackie's going to be wedding planning on her phone the whole time. It's going to be a lot. It'll be a lot of last minute things, but I'll be paying attention.

Once Jimmy Eat World hits the stage, I'll be, I'll be ready to go. You're going to put your phone down and you're going to just really be so happy that we spent so much money so that you can sing along with in the middle. It's going to be so good.

By the way, it says up top, tickets starting at 1999 down. $19. $19.99 since down payment. Oh. Oh, yeah. So I'm just going to take seven years. It's an investment.

Could you imagine? Imagine paying like money down like that on a one day concert? I could not fathom setting up a payment plan for a one day festival as opposed to like any actual human necessity. I mean, there's a lot of bands there holding. I mean, I just wish that Weird Al Yankifik was there. And then we could really, really see how the research is going to go for Daniel Radcliffe. And yes, I am shifting. How do you guys feel about Daniel Radcliffe?

playing Weird Al Yankovic in an upcoming biopic. I will not speak first. If he was fresh from Harry Potter, I would maybe wonder, but I love the work he's done post Harry Potter. It's been very experimental. It's been very all over the place. Also, I think this is a comedic, like, retelling of his story.

And it's written by, made by Weird Al himself. Yeah, yeah, he's, like, behind it. It's not some weird, so it's not going to be some weird, like, dramatized thing. We always joked back in high school, back when behind the music was a big deal, that the most boring episodes of behind the music were the weird out episode and the Huey knew as the lose episode. Because both of them were like, we never had drug problems. Like, we got out, you know, Hugh Lewis of the news was like, we had a great time.

We got out when the time was right. You know, we invested our money well. So we've enjoyed like a wonderful retirement ever since we left. We stopped doing the music. Like, it's just like every other episode about the music was mired with like drug abuse and all these sort of trauma. And Weird Al, the tragic thing that happened to him was his parents did die, I believe, in a car accident,

at an untimely moment, right? Besides any perform that night, by the way, which is like this amazing story. On stage, he's wearing the I'm fat suit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The night is the gay and his parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow, because I was about to say, I don't really need to know the story of Weird Al, but it turns out I do. Now I do. I love Weird Al. We did a Wiser episode. on him. Me too, man.

That was like the first cassette album I ever own. My family lived three out. My like grandparents and uncles and stuff lived like three hours away. So whenever like the only trips we would make, you know, it was always like a three four hour car ride. And we and the, this was truly the early 90s. John and I had a single tape player that we had like earbuds that we shared. So he would have one and I would have one.

And we would listen to the Weird Al tape, uh, uh, Jurassic, park like over and over. That was like the first album I ever knew front to back. Everyone else knows the hits of Weird Al. I know the deep cuts. Hell yeah. Franks 2000-inch TV. You'll be happy to hear.

I think he's going on tour and he's doing only originals. Really? The original's awesome. Love, love the original. So I, my feelings about it, Jackie, I want to hear your... No parodies, rather, only originals. Yeah, yeah, you want. Like the range of emotions, I at first was like, I don't like this.

Daniel Radcliffe won't do a good job. I don't really want to. know this story of Weird Al. And even since we started talking about it three minutes ago, now I'm like, okay, maybe I do like it. Also, I think this is going to be a full-on comedy. I don't think this is going to be a real, like, biopic. You know what I mean? It's going to be, this is going to be really silly. And they've even said, no, what did it say? This is sincerely the ultimate combination of talent, creativity, and friends coming together to make something genuinely funny. I'm very excited about it. So I think it's going to be, and you know if he's co-writing his own

story. It's going to be very, very ridiculous and not actually in any way serious. I really am wildly a huge fan of Daniel Radcliffe, especially outside of the Harry Potter movies. I'm not even saying that he did, like, he did a great job in the Harry Potter movies, but as someone that of course, you know, near and dear to me out of the three of us, Harry Potter, the books were forever my big thing. And I was like, the movies will never live up to it. But Daniel Radcliffe has had such a cool fucking career afterwards and during and like he's a weird

person. Please watch Swiss Army man. Yeah. It is such a fun weird but the thing, I think it was in 2008 or 2009, I saw him perform in this play that I was obsessed with called Equus. Yes. I remember you guys know Equus. Equus very intense. And I saw him And it was in a very small theater. And if you are familiar with Equus, I apologize.

But also for those of you that are not familiar with Equis, it is a, it's essentially like the story of like a psychiatrist who's trying to help this man who is like pathologically obsessed with the like biblical connotation of horses. And he's like, has all these horses. And it's just the two people in this play. And Daniel Radcliffe was amazing in it. And all of the weird, cool things that he's done. I think it's because of Swiss Army Man of him and Paul Dano's relationship that I now have Daniel Radcliffe in a Paul Dano section inside of my mind of performers that I think are just so wildly talented that make fun, cool choices. Because what I love about Daniel Radcliffe is he didn't need the money after Harry Potter.

He's like, I'm going to, I'm going to do what I want to do now. For the rest of my life, I'm going to do what I want to do. And it makes me respect him so much. And the fact that I hope that he works with Weird Al on this, I think it's actually going to be a lot of fucking fun. And I did go through, like, for half a second when I saw the headline, I was like, I feel like a lot of people are going to be upset about this. But I was, I'm truly very excited to see what.

No, it's going to be absurd. Has he done comedy? Yeah. Swissarmyan's comedy. You should, I think that you and Gidey might like Swissuari Man, which is essentially that Daniel Radcliffe is a, for lack of a better way to describe it, a corpse.

And Paul Dano is trapped on an island with a corpse of Daniel Radcliffe. Who interacts with him. And it is great. Weird as shit. And it's just like, it really, I think that is a good way to explain of like the kind of thing

that Daniel Radcliffe, it seems, likes to do. Okay. So I'm really excited about it. Yeah, he's done. And he's done a time. ton of other comedy as well. He's, yeah, he's definitely, he's definitely, I think he's weirdly right.

I also like when it's weird, you know what I mean? Or like when it doesn't seem like the, maybe the right on its face, because that means like something happened in a room, like a reading happened, a meeting happened. That someone was like Daniel Radcliffe. Yeah, it was like genuine chemistry and clicking and like, oh my God, this is, he's amazing.

You know what I mean? Like, it's the Heath Ledger thing, right? It's like, well, why would they cast him? He's not at all obvious. So, like, why would they cat? Like, obviously, they had a fucking reason to cast him as the Joker, right? And that's exciting.

As opposed to it being like, that's why the funny thing with Lucille Ball, with what's her name, being like, well, she looks just like her. And Deborah Messing, yes. What this, like, obviously there was a very good reason why. And I think Nicole Kittman killed that role, by the way. I think she did a great job in that role.

And it's just like, yeah, it's not, it's because there's something else going on there that's like special. Uh-huh, that's a good point. That you don't know because you're a fucking layman. Whoa. It's not for us to know. Get out your knee extenders, boys.

Pull it, boys. Suck away, friends. What did knee extenders look like, by the wings? I'm like, they're like stilts, but for your knees? Is that what? Yeah, I think so. I actually, I can't believe even as you brought up Nicole Kidman, I'm so mad because I completely forgot to send you guys the link that Nicole Kidman was told.

live about how people feel about her AMC advertisement that I've been screaming lightly about towards you guys for months. And she had no idea that people either are obsessed with it or hate it so brutally. And she's just so like, it seems, I don't know, maybe it is just like the, I don't know, the fillers of the Botox if she was just like, oh, I didn't know that people were so obsessed with it. And they're like, yeah, people are like losing their, minds about it because it is, it's played at every single movie. Sometimes you do something and then, and again, by the way, also clearly means she doesn't actually go into a movie theater.

She took the money. Of course. Can you imagine, could you imagine Nicole Kidman being like, I guess I'll buy the popcorn and you save our seats? Like, you know, what? No. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, no.

The other funny thing, I think I brought up before, but I'll bring it up every time now when I realized it that everything she's done lately has been straight to streaming. The Lucio Ball thing was Amazon Prime, prom, Netflix. Like, all of those recent films have been a Netflix or Amazon Prime or like Hulu or whatever specific thing, not in the movie theater at all.

So just very funny, the whole situation. But yeah, I think a lot of these people do something they never think will just be, and then it's on the airplane monitor. every flight. You know what I mean? It's always there. And so it just is ingrained in people's head.

You know what I mean? Like a bloodline. No. Everybody get up. You know you want to. No. It's the one line though, especially somehow heartbreak feels good in a place like this. And that's the line where you're just like, oh.

I love you, girl. Let's just see how many ohs were on the end of that. Paycheck plan. How much of it is going. Talk about knee extenders. Good Lord, she doesn't need them. And before I know that we need to get into our segments, I just... Yeah, you know you want it.

Oh, you know. I need to at least kind of bring up the Melanie Linsky article that has gone everywhere because I'm fucking obsessed with Melanie Linsky. And Yellow Jackets just, man, stuck the fucking landing, killing it as a shirt. If you want, Hold and I do a spoilery episode of Talking TV this week over on our Patreon if you would like to go and listen to our thoughts on it. And Melanie Linsky plays Shauna in it. If you know Melanie Linsky.

If you look a picture of her, you're not familiar with yellow jackets, you're like, oh, that amazing character actress, who is not overweight. And in it, as a lead, she's never commenting on, oh, I'm so big. oh, I can't wear that. It's nothing to do with her weight. And there's also part of it that she is a romantic interest. And part of what she liked about the character was that it had nothing to do with like, but I'm thuffa, fat, which is not true, but she is, you know, TV fat, quote unquote, which is still a disgusting fucking phrase. And she got the role. And then the producers were like, so when are you going to start training?

Do you want us to get you a trainer for you to lose the... We'd love to help you with this, is what they said to her. And Melanie Linsky was like, with what? What is it? Like, she's like, part of the reason I love this character is that it wasn't about her weight. It never was. It's nothing to do with it. And then you're going to tell me that I have to lose weight after I get the role.

And the best part about it is that Tani Cyprus, Christina Ricci, and Juliet-Lewis, fucking rallied around her. and we're like, you are not going to tell her, like we will all walk. You're not doing this. Like, this is absolutely ridiculous. And so it was a big story this week because I,

and I feel like it was sent to be a lot. Not only I'm obsessed with Yellow Jackets, I think Melanie Linsky is one of, just what a fucking talented, what an amazing character for her to have in this show. And part of what we loved that we've talked about and talking TV, that I love about Yellow Jackets,

that it's cool, interesting, in-depth character studies of multiple female identifying characters at different ages. And it has nothing to do with the normal things that you usually see that women talk about, you know? And then for this story to come out after the end of it. And I love it too. Her people didn't put it out until after the end of the show.

And I love that as well. It just makes me love it even more. I mean, that's it. That's all I'm going to say about it. I just felt like I had to speak towards it. Because I was so upset on her behalf. And then when I read that the women like were around her, I was just like, mm-mm.

And I was like, oh, it makes me, like it fills me with like a rage, but then it fills me with this like, yes, community reigns. Especially cool to have like actors who've been around for so long when the industry was so, I'm not going to say it's necessarily better right now, but when like cultural standards were so much worse. about, you know, especially about weight, I think, like, that the 90s was just like the absolute most god-awful time.

So, like, to have all these actresses be like, it, like, to be like, no, it's not gonna be like that. It's gonna be better now, you know? I feel like that's a really cool show of solidarity. Yeah, so they say they're gonna be better, and then you actually have to check them on that. Yeah, right. People check them on that.

I'll just say it's awesome, and she's phenomenal on the show. Oh my God, she's so good. Absolutely phenomenal. God damn, that show's so good. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, I still haven't seen it. I'm catching up on queer eye.

Oh, what in your whole family of COVID? My whole family is. I'm still watching. I'm catching up on queer eye and I need to do yellow jacket. Dude, it's so good. That's been our one-two punch, yellow jackets and then a queer eye to like come down off of yellow jackets. Yeah, you need to come down.

You need a little bit of a cool. Just cry, just sit there and like slow tear shed over every episode of that season of queer eye. It's amazing. I just want to say, why did no one warn me about the school episode of queer eye? because, oh, my God. Jesus Christ. There are not enough tears in the universe. Which one, wait, are you on a different season?

What season are you on? The one's the Texas one, yeah. The one where they redid the school, they did this kid's prom. The prom episode, have you gotten to the, Holden as Cat. Animals with Disabilities. No, no, I can't watch the animals in this episode.

MJ, you are, if you thought prom was fucking, because my shit is school communities, Holden and I was about school communities. No, no, the promo is one of my favorite episodes of the whole season and of the whole show in its entirety. But there's also just this fucking place for like animals with disabilities. The person is just, and it pairs them with people with disabilities. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, you're going to cry that one.

All right, here we go. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is the C.W. hiding a secretly taped gay episode of the cult show Supernatural? I already love this. Tell me everything. This one goes so deep bro. I wouldn't put it past.

Jared Petal, lick me more like. I'm sorry, that was, I'm upset about what I said. At least I apologize. All right. This one comes from Chloe. Hello there. My name is Chloe and my pronouns are they them and I am early for my dentist appointment. So I'm going to ramble a conspiracy to you from the waiting room.

Because I mean, probably no one outside of Tumblr cares, but Holden recently mentioned being desperate for conspiracy theories. And it just so happens that Tumblr's going crazy this week about the latest chapter in a years long nerdy gay fandom saga. So I don't know. Maybe you want to jump in and jump in.

I did. It is so funny and amazing. I'll get to the funny part in just a second. All right. So this is the theory. Supernatural was a show on the CW. You guys watch any of it?

There's like a hundred seasons of it. I've seen all the commercials for it. I think Gideon watched it. Especially with Riverdale. I feel like we both. get like I get it. It's like I have to choose one. He watches all the superhero shows on CW so he knows about, yeah.

So it's like I feel like I've breathed the air of supernatural, but I've never seen an episode. So in November of 2020, the show shocked viewers when the last few episodes leading to the series finale featured one of the most blatant instances of queer baiting ever in the history of ever. Fans will roll their eyes at what an oversimplification this is. But the only essential fact of the crime against humanity was this. A male character who fans had long hoped would be romantically paired.

with another male character, finally said, I love you after years. Then seconds later, that character, in all caps, literally got sucked into literal hell,

literally seconds after coming out as gay, literally. Then Chloe links to the actual moment. I watched it. It's so funny. He's like, I love you.

I've always loved it. Oh! Oh, no. See, we can laugh, but can you imagine watching it for 15 fucking years? I'd be like, you know, I would have flipped out. I would have broken the television.

Fans lost their shit and spawned a Tumblr's subculture of memes and flabbergasted, hilarious outrage. The last 14 months since this happened has been a time of over-analyzing every piece of behind-the-scenes and social media about supernatural. One of the prevailing fan theories is the show surely must have originally filmed an ending where Dean and Castile, aka Destiel, is the ship name, did get together and gay happily ever after. but that the conservative CW network made them scrap that and write a new ending to kill off the gayness. Up until recently, we thought that dissecting vague hints and celebrating the anniversary of the show's ridiculous finality was all we had left.

But then, just this week has been revealed that the CW has literally never been profitable since its inception in 2006 and his parent company, CBS and the WB, are looking to sell the network. It seems highly probable that this is happening now because they lost so much money in viewership. after Supernatural ended by alienating most of its fans

who have been boycotting the network ever since. This is extremely funny because Destiel is wildly popular, and if they had only leaned into its popularity and exploited it, they could have actually made a profit. This is basically a chance for the fans to feel a bit vindicated and make silly memes just celebrating the downfall of the network that buried its gaze. But it was also done a bit of fanning the flames of conspiracy.

If the CW gets desperate, might they finally release the day? tapes that surely exist. Did the network film The Gayness and then try to keep it from us might all finally be revealed. I love film the Gayness. Did they film the Gated?

All finally be revealed at a last-inch effort to win back fans and save the CW. It's very fun silly fandom drama that is unfolding in real time before our eyes. If you've bothered to read this far, thanks for joining the Reverend. Wow.

Thank you, Chloe. For more fandom silliness, all are welcome to be my internet friend. I'm at Chloe the Pain on all socials, and if I do say so myself, my Tumblr page is particularly gay and adorable. And this is my favorite part. I'm also a musician,

and I am available to hire for commission songwriting requests. If anyone needs a cheesy custom love song, I feel like they knew I was going to go check out their YouTube page where there's an amazing cover of Taylor Swift Lover, as well as on the right up, right at the top, simply the best a la Schitt's Creek. Wow. So good.

What do you say, Chloe, the what? Chloe the Payne, P-A-Y-N-E, Chloe the Pain. Cheesy Custom Love Song for Valentine's or, I don't know, a fandom full of destial references or something. Come find me on YouTube. Highly underviewed, highly underrated. Chloe the Pain, thank you so much. Wow.

I was in that waiting room for 25 minutes. Don't worry, I'm out now and my chompers are clean and happy. Thanks, everyone, and page seven for getting us through these crazy times. You are appreciated. Thank you so much, Chloe. Wow. Thank you, Abby. This is so... The, I'm so glad they linked the fucking moment in it.

Because I watched it, I was like, this is, he's like, I love you. I've always loved you. I loved you with my heart. And it just like this black portal. Oh, my God. Like Scholder and Moller and Sculley or something like that. You know what I mean? And like that happening.

I mean. It's so funny because I feel like the CW's thing is like, We're like pretty queer, but they are so apologetic about it. It's like they're not just like, we're a show for, we're a network that has shows for young people. And so we have queer characters. Like Riverdale, like, has a lot of queer characters. But they're like, they're so fucking twitchy about it. They won't, they like, subdued.

So funny. Yeah. If the CW knew where its bread was buttered, they would be like, we are the queer network. Lean in. We have queer, sexy, teen superhero. We are a network of shows about queer teen superheroes and, you know, whatever Riverdale is. Not superheroes, but fucking detective, murder mystery,

supernatural ghosts. And at least everybody thinks KJ. Apa is in the closet, so I don't know if that means anything. He's got a baby with a lady. And he drinks breast milk, which is very good. Yes, he doesn't. Maybe we'll throw supernatural on the list because M.J. Holden and I have been talking about starting to watch a show from its conception

together with y'all over on our Patreon. But I would love it if you guys would roll over to our Patreon and start voting on which show we should watch. It could be supernatural. Could be sister-wise. Those are not the only options. We talked about many, many options of what I could. I'm going to say that I could force Holden and MJ to watch with me from the beginning. And I think that it would be a lot of fun if we did it all together. There you come. So stay tuned over on patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, seven the number. And I'll be popping up a little poll for us to figure out what are we going to start

watching together because we did it with pretty little liars. But, you know, then like MJ Leah, the kid. And then it was like all these things. I mean, maybe it was me. It was because then I made Holden start watching in the middle of Britney. Oh, you're right. It was. It was Zelda.

Oh, yeah. Don't put me if I watched that show. Because I love Pretty Little Wires. Oh, Holden, I'm so sorry. You know what's fun, though? You could almost come up with a podcast concept around this, like, just jumping into something on, like, season four of like a dumb show of a show that's jumped the shark like two seasons ago. I'm desperately trying to catch up Holden on what was going on. Kind of amazing to do.

That actually is really fun. It's like, it's so bad shit. It's, like, you know what I mean? And you can say jump the shark, but like, was there ever a shark to jump? Was there ever? Or was there ever water skis? No, none of it. Absolutely none of it.

And please don't make us watch. See, that's the thing. Supernatural. And what I, for some reason, always get upset about every time we watch Riverdale, is that there are always commercials for Walker, which is, I'm assuming a prequel to Walker, Texas Ranger, where Jared Padalecki is Walker, Texas Ranger. and it's just like sexier, Walker, Texas Ranger.

And every time we see the commercial for it, I'm like, who cares? And this is coming from someone that has watched Riverdale for years. I've watched every single episode of the 15 seasons of sister wives. And I, you're nothing. The CW has a lot of programming. I will give them that. They have a tremendous amount of shows. There's so much.

And if you have any ideas of what you would like us to throw on our poll, hit us up at page 7 podcast at gmail.com so I believe, I believe that it's there. I think that... Of course, how could I not? I believe. I think that they shot the days. Thank you again, Chloe. Yes, and thank you so much Chloe the pain. And I guess

it's time for the list. Oh! Who's on the list? It's me! Jackie! Gotta have that list. Well, I've already started talking about the list. Celebrities who have insured body parts because of the worm time that I went down with Heidi Klum.

I did not know this. That Rihanna has also has her legs insured and Rihanna did not pay for it, but it's because in 2007 Rihanna's legs were named the celebrity legs of a goddess by Gillette. With that distinguished title also came

an insurance policy for her legs. As a result, her legs are insured for $1 million. So here's the thing. What I'm starting to realize because it was like, man, do celebrities often just choose to have parts of their bodies insured. Right, it's more tied to like an ad campaign. It's usually an ad deal unless it is just something that you want to have done like Tom Jones when he insured his own chest hair.

Now, how do you make money on your own chest hair? I'm not quite sure. He said, that's right, not his voice or a body part is chest hair. Apparently it means a lot to the singer as it's reportedly insured for almost seven million. dollar. Oh, knee extenders. No, he doesn't have any knee extenders. He doesn't need any knee extenders. I need the knee extenders for all Tommy. Yeah, for your chest hair. And I had no idea that Julia Roberts' smile is insured. It has to be one of the most obviously

iconic smiles in Hollywood. And her insurance policy on it is for $30 million. And I think that like in my brain again as a poor I'm like oh my god how much and then you think of at the end of the day like a celebrity that has been a celebrity for a long time has a lot of like a lot of money is going in and out at all times that it makes sense also

on the list Mariah Carey and her voice insured for $35 million um Keith Richards hands have been insured for 1.6 million nowhere near as much as a smile or a voice I mean but that makes sense

is that's what actually like makes the music make. Yes, exactly. It does. It literally makes the music. I think that part of my, that I felt connection with this list came from the fact that my blurred lines issue and the fact that Miley Cyrus has her tongue insured

for $1 million as well. And it did make me think of the MTV music video. With Robin Thick. Oh, bullshit. Bastard Robin Thick. You know you want it. Knee extenders Ne extenders

What about Daniel Craig? Oh, it can't just be a part of Daniel Craig. It's his whole damn body. He has his whole body insured. It is separate than life insurance, which I did look into, that he has his whole body insured for $9.5 million.

And last but not least, we've got Kim Kardashian. Datass. Datass is insured for $21 million. Broke the internet. That was one of my first, I hate the internet moments. Oh, it broke it. Oh, yeah, the ass, the big O-A.

Yeah, no, she looks good. And I didn't even get, we didn't get into, and I didn't include any of the articles about the Kanye West being upset about, it seems scary what is going on between the two of them right now. Like Kanye West seems to be, he needs help. He really needs some help.

Just because he got that floating dome house, above her house doesn't mean. Showed up at the kids party and he was like, I wasn't invited. Now he's like publicly threatening Pete Davidson. And like Pete Davidson's like, I got a bunch of bodyguards just in case, which like,

why does you sound like what's her name from 90s day fiatza? Oh, I got a bunch of bodyguards. No, it wasn't into Turkey territory. Oh my God, hold and I got to get you to watch this new season. I won't watch the news season before the 90 days. No, I watch the new season. Oh my God.

but I can't watch anything these days because I think I'm going Blind! I don't. Oh, we can't see. Yum. Oh, I'm so glad. I was really fingers crossed

about you not putting this as one of your links to talk about today. Oh, you thought I was going to snatch you. Shocked as well. Yeah, Snatch game. I thought you were going to shock as well that you didn't, Jackie. So let's see if you can guess this.

I like to keep it on your toes. It can't be the same people every week. Right. The countdown now begins before the inevitable leaks of the women this married A-list actor was having affairs with on or communicating intent to have an affair between the two people.

They just announced the divorce. I think it seems that they have an open relationship. Who? You're talking about Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonnet? Yes. Jason and Lisa Bonnet shocked the world when they announced that they were getting a divorce on Wednesday. It was literally announced right when we finished

page seven last week. And I was just like, I feel like we've all. discussed it. And it, like, I don't, I mean, obviously, I don't know them. I don't know. But it did seem that apparently, of what I had read through, that they have essentially lived a separate, like, two separate lives for years. Yeah. Jason spent a good chunk of 2021 in Hawaii, filming Aquaman 2.

He was photographed hanging out with friends after the film wrapped in December. Mamoa has been, was seen living it up while partying with male pals. Bonae was not seen on the set. or visiting the actors. So I think they were probably been kind of split for a minute now. Yeah, gotta be tough when you're always living somewhere else to film, you know?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. It has to be, and I mean, just, man, both of them just so hot. Yeah. And you could give me a call, Lisa Bonnet or Jason Buh, either of you. I'll be a nanny.

Also, I forgot this headline. It just popped to my head that apparently, I just read the headline. I didn't read the actual article, but Adam Driver skipped the House of Gucci Rat Party and all he said about it was I just wanted it to be over. Oh God, I mean, it makes a lot of sense. So here we go.

Does Alphante's shit in the jungle, you know? This is a blast from the past one. Let's see if you can get this one. Hookups you forgot is the category. So this is from way long ago. This is a late 80s, early 90s story. This permanent A-list, mostly movie actress, who was the highest-paid actress for a long time used to hook up with this A-plus list mostly movie actor who is best known for that long-running action franchise that involves having skills. She was on the list.

Julia Roberts? Yes. Having skills. Miami Vice. Yes. Very particular set of skills. And it was a television show? No.

Action franchise. movie franchise. John Claude Van Dam. Some people are given, other people, they are... Taken. Is it Liam Mason? Yes. Was it really before Natasha Richardson?

He was 35. She was 19, bro. They were living together just two weeks after meeting each other on the set of the 1988 movie, Satisfaction. Wow. The year was set that he was 35. In my head, Liam Neeson is still 42. Right.

He's just always... older? Yeah, how crazy is that? I would have 100% said that they were closer an age than that. Yeah, I thought so too. But, oh, that was before Natasha Richardson though. Oh, it's tragic. I can't look at Liam Mason without feeling sad. I should have started with my weak one. These are the good ones.

Here's my weak one. I know the B-list actress says her relationship isn't PR and that it is real. Maybe she could explain why an hour after her, quote, boyfriend left the club alone. She was sucking face with another guy at the same club. We literally just talked about him. Pete Davidson and... No. Oh, not them.

Not Zendaya. Just talked about him, though, recently, very closely to Pete Davidson. Oh, Kanye. Oh, and... Julia Fox. The woman that he is love bombing,

that is just, like, it is... So we didn't really get into that, did we, the love bombing thing? It's very, like, I think that the reason why I'm not really pushing getting into it, it's just like, it is a, it's scary. It really is, like,

for me, it's more of like, it seems like it is, a mental health issue of how he's reacting. My question for you guys, and I'll never forget you guys, my question for you guys is, have you ever been love bombed

or have you ever love bombed? I think I've gotten too excited about a relationship and fucked it up because of that. Definitely. Like I got so, I was like clear, I was like, I need this to world. Like, I've been so into this.

100%. Person. And then, and then like, it just became a psychotic animal. But I don't know if I love bombed because I think at that time I did not have enough money to love bomb. I think if I had a lot of money, especially Kanye money, I would probably have love bomb.

And status. You kind of need status to love bomb. You can't be the one who, like, wants it more and still have it be love bombing, because you're just thirsting at that point. Like, if you're the person with, like, less love status... You can kind of fairy tale them into it. Like, you can be this, like, crazy prince of, you know... Right.

And that implies power, right? To be like, I'm using my power and my status and my skills to blind you with my. And also to do it publicly in a way that makes it very difficult for you to say no, which is why it is actually very scary. That seems very like, you see? Yeah. You see? The lady in me, do you see? That seems very like that.

Which I honestly in a way can't blame him to that degree because of how blatant Kim has been with Pete Davidson. Right. Right, right. You know, I mean, you can blame for love by me, but, like, I mean, I would also want to be making headlines if my recent ex that I'm still in love with was making headlines. Especially because he cares, I mean, his entire, I think the origins of him getting with Kim was being like, I want to be the most famous man in the world who's with the most famous woman in the world. Not that they didn't love each other, but that seemed to be a pretty strategic coupling, you know? Right. Yeah, and I think that also part of it, I think it is a level of ego that I actually don't.

I don't even, even as a Leo, I don't even think I have that level. Like, I don't think that, like, I could publicly be like, I don't care whether or not you like it or not. I'm going to love you publicly because I would be so terrified that they'd be like, I don't like you, Jackie, that I'd be like, oh, ha, and just crumble into a pile of ashes. No, I could never. Like, you know, like the phoenix in the back of Ben Affleck's back. But I don't, I don't think that I've ever had that kind of courage to be able to do that,

but also like you said, holding the money as well. And the abusiveness. I think love bombing is, I mean, I don't want to use that word lightly, but it is like coercive. At least, if not abusive, it is coercive. For an example, he took her up to a hotel room

and literally had a gigantic wardrobe of clothes waiting for her. And she was like, it was like a princess moment. By the way, we keep talking. I forget we didn't actually talk about the details there. No, it is really, really extensive, like, like, oh, like just like so much immediately. on this person.

Yeah, and it's, I think that's why, like, you know, I know that we try to keep it light, and ever since, you know, we've got to talk about issues at times, but this one is more just like, I'm scared for this young person, I'm scared for Julia Fox, I'm scared for Kanye,

I'm scared for the people around them, and I'm like, I just hope he gets the help that he fucking needs, man. Yeah, yeah. Knee extenders. That is what he needs, and maybe he just needs to listen to a little bit of MCR,

and then he'll be to, I know, I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Extenders. Everybody get up.

No. Nextend. But it's time for the shoutouts. Oh, my God in heaven. Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it all out.

Oh, yeah. These are the emails that you wrote about. Come on. We'll be out to you. Yeah, whatever. Guys, thank you so much for everything that you share over at page. 7 Podcast at gmail.com. I love all of y'all's love, and I really appreciate it.

It fills me with smiles and positivity, and it's exactly what we need in this life. And if you just want to share something with me or if you just want to say hello and hi, hit us up at page 7podcast at gmail.com. That is seven the number. But foist, Otto, thank you so much for sharing your love. Otto says February 4th is my fifth wedding anniversary. and I want to give a shout out to my amazing wife, Christina. The last couple of years have been rough, but we love you all, her especially. She watches all of Holden Jackie's streams, hello Christina, and shares her favorite parts with me.

Thanks for helping us get through these crazy years. And Christina, darling, I love you more than anything. Oh, Otto, so beautiful. It's a bullet sweet, and I really appreciate you. Happy anniversary! And oh my God, thank you so much Astrid for sharing about your amazing. amazing fucking partner, Noroli. Thank you so much for sending this in. It just filled me with light. Astrid says, my partner is a huge fan of the show. I've been indoctrinated second

hand, and they deserve a shout-up more than anyone I know. We've been together for just a touch over three years. Happy late anniversary, baby! And I couldn't have asked for a more amazing person in my life. They have so much passion for so many incredible things, and they can't help but radiate that warmth and intensity to everyone around them. They're constantly working on improving themselves and drinking in and experiencing as much of the world around them as they possibly can. And let me tell you, it is such a joy to be along for the ride. The last few years, they found a passion that they can turn into a career,

something I think is super impressive during a pandemic, and so they're currently in surgical tech school, kicking absolute ass. We've both taken a bit of a circuitous route in finding our, niche in the current capitalist hellscape, but it is so fucking cool to see the passion with which they pursue their future in this. They're also starting to establish themselves in a local drag scene, and they're kicking ass at that too. Their artistic vision and ability to put together wearable looks of art in days is something that I personally haven't ever seen before in the scene. If anyone out there is in the Denver area, keep your eyes out for Injects hormones,

and this is great. I-N-J-E-X, W-H-O-R-E-M-O-A-N-S, Injects Hormones. Amazing, amazing, name, really. And Asher continue on saying, I could go on for pages, but I know y'all only have so much time. So let me say that they make me so incredibly proud every day. And I'm pretty confident in saying I'm the luckiest girlfriend in the world.

I also wanted to thank you guys. I know they adore you and your show. And from what we've listened to together, y'all definitely deserve the praise. Thank you so much, Astrid. And hell yeah, I said, all of my loves. This is me and I'm hugging you both right now, and I'm sending it out to you. Thank you so much for sharing.

Just real quick, Amanda, thank you for sharing the fact that you are said. My sister texted me to say, happy birthday, Amanda, Bob Sagitt is dead. Sisters always know how to make you feel special, don't they? It just really makes me think of how Henry told me about Betty White, and I appreciate you sharing this moment with me. And we got a couple self-shoutouts in the can today, and I want to thank you guys so much for sending them in. Now, Kelsey writes in, I'm sending myself a shout-out for getting through the end of 2021. The last few months of 2021 were awful.

I started hating my job. My best friend, who was a little more than that, moved away thanks to the Army, and he was the last friend I had left here. everyone else has moved since graduation or COVID, and the people I like years still have all gotten in relationships and cut out their friends. And my dad found out he has colon cancer. The only thing that got me through the end of the year was catching up on page 7 and last podcast

who you saw in Charles in November. Fuck yeah! I was worried I was going to sink into a depression, but I haven't and I've made plans to fix things that are in my control, so I'm shouting myself out for that. 2020 will be better. My dad has surgery next week. I'm going to go visit my friend in March.

I'm applying to go back to school to get my M. and I'm making plans to leave my job and my college city at the end of the year and start anew. The constant positivity of page seven has kept me going at work, and I don't know what I'll do now that I'm caught up. Ah, come hang out over on our Patreon. Be a twi baby with us. I didn't think I would be one myself. But thank you so much, Kelsey. The friendship and love between everyone in LPN has inspired me so much. I'm surrounded by people who have tried to convince me that life ends at 22 for women.

I'm 24. but you all have showed me that that's not true. Oh, baby, baby, it ain't true. It only gets fucking better. All my love to you and more, Kelsey. And to Natalie. Natalie wrote in, said, I'm writing a self-shout this week

because I have a lot to celebrate and I want the world to celebrate with me. After a few years of working for the man as a bench jeweler, that's the person in the back making the jewelry, I decided to go into business for myself this year and open my own jewelry web shop, Natalie Mason Jewelry.com.

or at Natalie Mason Jewelry on Insta, which also Natalie, I totally checked it out and your earrings are sick as shit. Check out Natalie Mason, M-A-S-O-N-Julery.com. Congratulations. And Natalie continued on in saying, equally as large, I ended a six-year-long live-in relationship that I realized I was no longer happy in this week. I entered the relationship when I was 20 and have never been single as an adult, which is scary as hell, but I'm looking forward to it. should. I'm currently in the process of moving all my stuff into storage and going home to spend some time with my family while I figure out my next move. Page 7 has been on in the background while I pack and has made this whole experience less lonely. If anyone checks out the website,

please know it's a work in process just like me. I love you all. I love the show and I'm so excited for what 2022 will bring to me. I won't stop believing in love and I won't stop believing in myself. Hell yeah, Natalie. Thank you. Natalie. Thank you. so much for sharing. And thank you guys all so much for sending in, uh, anything to page seven podcast at gmail.com. It really makes, man, makes my fucking day. I love y'all. Patesapapodcast at gmail.com. All of my love to yeas. And, um, I am Jackie Spross. You follow me on Instagram at Jack that Worm. Also come hang out over on our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We're going to start doing some extra fun things over there. So come.

hang out. And also Tuesdays, Thursdays, I hang out over on Twitch. dot TV forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie. Talk about sex on Tuesdays. We talk about fashion and usually just try to fuck daddies on Thursdays. And with Lisa Rose and you guys should totally come hang out with us. All right. There you have it. Check me out. Twitch.tv.4.S. Hold Nader's ho. It's a sleepy good time. Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. We talk about how to train ourselves to move less

and ways to read books without moving your eyes as much. I'm scared of you now. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Please, P, T, P, P,

please send us emails over at the Gmail. I am by brain dead at this point. Oh, there you go. There you go. Number 7 podcast at gmail.com. Obviously your conspiracies are used by me. We all saw that earlier. We all were there. Blind items as well.

And let's all, let's take a van straight to hell together, you guys. Everybody get up. I'm the extenders. My name is MJ. I'm MJK. Alcat on Instagram and I got four words, I think. And it's, you know you want it. It's five words.

Damn it. I did it. We've infected everyone now. Now everybody has been infected. and I apologize. It's your fault. I know it's my brain. Usually I say you shouldn't be sorry.

Jackie, stop apologizing. But in this case, you should apologize. I should be sorry. I know I need to be flagellated. That's what this episode is. I don't want to say the Exeter's again, but that kind of works for it. I love you guys.

We'll be back next week. Be safe. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.