Page 7 - Ep. 434: We Accept Carnal Lust

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

This week we're mourning the passing of Meatloaf and pay tribute by gossin' 'bout Meatloaf doing anything for love (but getting pegged), the finer points of karaoke etiquette, Holden recalls his brothers descent into Young Life, M&M's going to horny jail but it's okay because they are now inclusive, Peter Dinklage (properly) rages at Disney on the WTF podcast, Julia Fox x Kanye West's couple name and her possible creepy obsession with Kim, the tasty new Oscar Mayer's bologna face mask, Neil Young pulls his music from Spotify and an unBIEBERable celeb conspiracy in the corner; Did Justin Bieber fake having Lyme Disease?! Not to mention is it deja vu?! No! It's a brand spankin' new phobia filled list, blinds and the shoutz! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to Last Podcastmerch.com to order yours today. In my heart of hearts I want to start with Soja Boy because that damn Ouzman, you crazy 90-day fiancé It is stuck in my head However, I have a big bone to pick And yes, I am starting with it

RIP Meat Loaf But the passage I'm going to sing Is very important I know the territory I've been around It'll all turn to dust Hound Sooner or later you'll be

growing around I won't No, I won't do that It's in the song It drives me mad What is, oh, I'll do anything of the love, oh, is it anal sex? It's not, it's in the song.

Welcome to page seven, I'm coming in hot today. It's butt, it's, no, come on. It's definitely that he doesn't want to have butt fuck sex. Yeah, this, this 10 minute long epic song you know it's about yeah he doesn't want to get pegged oh that makes a lot of sense my people my people yeah right you know i never thought of it that he didn't want to get pegged i

always thought that he wouldn't do he wouldn't be the top for anal sex but i thought it was the opposite i think you guys are right i think it's funnier to think that it's a song about how he doesn't want to get tagged as a person who will for the very first time be entered in that area by a doctor, not a lover, and that still hasn't happened yet. That will be my, that will pop my butt cherry. What do they call my butt? I think it's a hemorrho. It's called the butt cherry, I think.

Oh, yeah, it's not my butt mango. All right. It's got to be something different, right? Oh, yeah, it's a different stone fruit. Yeah, dude, my limp biscuit album. It's a peach. Yeah. So it's just like, you know, I get it, man.

I mean, I'm passionate about that. And many times, Lexi and I've had hour long, I mean, talking about one long song, hours of discussion where she's like, please, well, we're singing while we do it. Obviously. Let me get you back in the back truck.

I won't let you go. I need to see you wiggle your toes. It's like, it just goes back and forth. And she's like, wiggle my toes. What do you even mean? And I'm like, oh, my wiener, it's turning green. This is so important, actually, because I always thought that it was like,

because of course, the joke for our entire lives has been it's about AIDL. And so I always thought It was like a woman begging him to like just have anal sex with her. Right. And him being like, I won't do that. Yeah. Like that he was just like too noble or something, you know, because growing up,

there was like a lot of like stigma and shame around anal sex. And so I was like, yeah, he's too, he's too good a guy for that. I just obviously have really been misunderstanding. I mean, the album's name is Bad Out of Hell too back into hell. So it would make a lot of sense if he was talking. about getting peg. You're gonna go back into that hell's the asshole? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, hell's the asshole. There you go, beautiful. Yeah, and then, and then of course his follow-up album, Looby Tuesday, that's really about, definitely about. Angel sex, rest in peace. Go, peg me, Luby Tuesday. Yeah, I love that.

I will say, but the big thing we need to take from meatloaf dying is go, get vaccinated, if you have not vaccinated, get fucking vaccinated, get fucking boosted. He was open, against vaccination. They tried to cover it up a little bit of how he died. And now even, you know what?

Howard Stern is one that was like, we should use his death as a stepping point to say, this is why you need and must get vaccinated if you are, you know, physically able to do so. Well, go Howard Stern and Meatloaf, really stepping in for our public health void right now. I mean, Meatloaf accidentally, RIP. R-I-P. And we did sing... We sang a lot of meatloaf on Friday over on Jacking with the Holbees.

It was a lot of fun. I had a blast. And, you know, I was thinking about this the other day is I feel like lately, especially on Twitter, people really get a kick out of speaking ill of the dead. And it bums me out. It's like somebody passes away.

And if they did something disagreeable in their past, it's like the day of their death that gets brought up by, you know, people find it completely okay to do something. I don't like speaking ill. the dad. I feel like in Meatlob's case, doesn't it just cancel out? Can't we just enjoy the man, the legend, the amazing singer, and just say, hey, it cancels out. He was anti-vaxure. But then he also, you know, died of COVID complications. So let's just let that cancel and just move forward and just

say, hey, a great couple albums from that guy, Fight Club ruled. You know what I mean? Oh, Edward, did you see Edward Norton? Edward Norton had a very sweet post about Meatloaf, how he, like, He said he doesn't keep any, like, photographs from his films in his home, but he keeps one in his office. And it's the picture of him hugging meatloaf, like, in the meeting at the fight club. And he was like, the post was just, he was like, so full of love and so fun and sweet. And so that was nice. I, of course, immediately thought about the other best meatloaf song, which is Paradise by the dashboard light, which is. Of course.

It's been in my head all week. I've said it on the show before and I'm going to say it again. No one, but no one can pull that song off at karaoke except for Henry and Jackie Zabrowski. They're the only ones. Holden I, we try. Holden I, we try.

I'm a poor stand-in, but we, you know. Did you do it on Friday? Jackie kills it, of course. Good, we knew. Good, good, yeah, that's one of those funny situations too where you're like, when the guy dies that's known for singing the very long epic songs and you're about to do a drinky show

where you definitely take donations for karaoke. We both were like prepping for it. We were like doing vocal exercises. We are in this for the long... There's a lot of range in that song. But it's different. I'm doing it on Jack and with the Holdies because the problem with...

And I discovered this firsthand myself because I went through a period of time where I was very into that song. The problem with doing it at karaoke in like a social setting at a bar is you start and you're like, this will be fun. Everybody knows this song

and everybody loves this song. And then you're just like, like, oh no, now I'm asking for eight minutes of these people's time. Totally. You know, and maybe, maybe on Jack, with a whole days you're also, but people are there to watch you guys sing. You're not really like preventing anyone else from singing, you know. No, and at least it's not.

You've regretted immediately if you try it in person. The way worst thing is the pop song, everyone knows and loves, that you forget that they just repeat the chorus about 20 times at the end of the song. and then you just slowly start to lose your mind. You're like, oh, that's why this gets stuck in people's head. It's literally the same thing. It's just like they just scream it at you. I mean, yeah, there's that.

Better than it is. Yeah. Because they repeat that a lot at the end, but it's worth it. They do repeat that a lot. But it's, I don't know, there's something so, it's so performative though, it's so theatrical that it really takes. His songs really take you on such a journey.

So at the very least, even the repetitive stuff, there's a build there. not just a constant repeat of informa. Oh, don't even say it. That was the worst one. That was the worst one. Oh, it is, that is the worst karaoke song maybe of all time. Let us know what you think the worst karaoke song of all time is chat.

It's like, it's hard to do. It's annoying sounding. It's low-key racist. And it's, and he repeats the fucking thing a million times at the end of the song to the point where you just want to die. It was a fan favorite on our stream for quite a while, actually, because they knew how much it tortured us. And then they actually felt so bad they stopped donating for it.

Because it was so painful. That is, I mean, that may be my hell, you know. I think it just depends on the person, because I feel like I did, of course, look up worst karaoke songs that are actually banned in some places. And some of the songs on here, I don't know if I necessarily, I'm like, well, I guess, but the song American Pie by Don McLean is always, it is what a, what a divisive song that, like, even know Don McLean himself hates the fucking song. But I, like, I have a lot of memories tied up with American Pie. I've got a lot of family memories tied up for it.

But I still would not choose to sing the nine minute long song at karaoke. That's the thing. Like, I had like a year of my life where I was like, I was in seventh grade. It was a time when everyone was very interested in the 60s And the way that I like accessed music history was that song Like it was actually a very good little like I Sat in front of my desktop, my family's desktop computer Listened to that song that had been downloaded on Napster I guess And like with like the downloaded lyrics in front of me

And then I would like look up like different all the references And I learned a lot and I like will always be thankful to that song for that I like a big historic ballad. I like a We Didn't Start the Fire for the same reason. Are you pro-Weid and Start the Fire? Are you anti-We didn't start the fire?

I used to be anti because when I first heard it, I was like, a year later when I first heard it, I was like, this is a poor man's American pie. But I've come... Whoa. Because in American Pie, he's a lyrical... He weaves these lyrics to tell a story. And then you listen to Weed and Start the Fire

and he's just like, Burlin Wall, blah, blah, blah. He's just like screaming historical events. I was like, there's no artistry here, but I take that back. Oh, there's artistry and how it fits, MJ. There's artistry how it fits in the stuns. I know, I know. Billy Joel is a, he and I have not had a, we've not really meshed in my life.

But I appreciate him. So American Pie has a distinct, yucky taste in my mouth because do you guys remember young life when we were kids? Was this like a North Carolina specific thing? It was like the cool, hip Christian, camp where you can go and like they'll let you smoke cigarettes man and there was this guy there he was like you know the cool guy that has the acoustic guitar yeah kelvin from righteous gemstones he's got a gaggle of boys behind yeah and you could tell he was like i i don't know i'm i i just

have to believe he was gross with the young girls that would be at the camp and he oh could he just everyone loved how he could play american pie so well man and And he knows the whole thing by heart and everyone gathers around. And it's so special. And they're like, wow, this guy's amazing. And I'm just like, I was just like the opposite of this guy. You know what I mean? I was just like hated it.

So I just made me so mad. I think that's the problem with American Pie is that by and large the people who really like it, at least in that time, like in our youth, especially older people, a full adult in the 90s who still were holding a candle for American Pie. they were weird. If you liked it when you were young and you like it now because you have some association with that,

I think that's fine. I think a full grown adult being like, gather around children. I knew a girl who sang the blues. It's like, oh no, no, no. And they all sit around and they're like, Timberlake, what was the dumb clothes that everybody wore?

Everyone wore the same clothes and they all, all these rich preppy kids. They sit around like, wow, he's like amazing. You know what I mean? I just like knew he was so. full of shit and the whole program. Like my brother ended up, my parents had to be like, do not let this thing brainwash you.

Like, it was so funny. And I never had seen that for my parents before. They were like, I thought that was so hilarious too because it was like this good, hip Christian camp, you know what I mean? And we're just like, we're cool. Like you guys, we're not trying to come down on you. We're just trying to teach you about the good Lord's Word. You know what I mean?

And just like, my brother was totally following forward hook, line, and sinker. My parents were like, this is evil. I can tell this is evil. You know what I mean? It was a weird moment. I was like out over the dirt table. Also, I'm really glad I like Bustles list of shitty karaoke songs. Because they included one of my least favorite ones for another weird reason.

And that would be What's Up by Four Non Blonds? Why, you hate. Remember the worst gig we ever did, Jackie, with that kid with the kitty, with the cats over the universe, the meme kid. He was literally like, it was as if like you had a 3D printer that could print human beings. and you just typed in like shitty meme hipster kid. And it printed him out, and then you just fed him a ton of alcohol and pushed him into a show. And so this kid, I always tell the story because it makes me so crazy.

It was a horrible gig. There were bands there. No one wanted to see sketch comedy. Everyone was a party. Everyone was screaming. Even bands could barely be heard. They didn't even want to watch my monologue, MJ. They didn't want to see my characters.

And so we're in the middle of a scene and meme boy gets on stage. We're already humiliated and miserable. You know what I mean? Just having a horrible time. This kid literally gets on stage in the middle of our sketch and start singing. And I said, hey, yeah.

Just literally in the, like, could you imagine like a person just walking into your scene and just screaming a fucking meme song because he man was screaming it on his YouTube channel that he likes like literally two hours ago. and he just thinks like, wow, everything on the internet needs to be said out loud, right? So he got up on stage and started singing it

and then Ed poured an entire beer over his head. And then he tried to start everyone, he tried to get everyone in the audience. He was like, oh yeah, he turned out and was like, hey man, what the fuck? And we were like, you're in the middle of our show. You just got on stage and started singing a song. And then he got off stage and tried to lead the audience

in a sing-along of the song. And then I got into his face and we ended up throwing him out. You can't take it out on four non-blondes, though. I can't help it associated with, like, shitty memes. Like, like, just kind of annoying internet humor. But if you're at the bar, why is it on the list? Because if you're at the bar and your people are doing karaoke and they start doing that

song, are you going to be like, fuck, fuck, fuck. I mean, you will, Holden. But here we go. This is what, they at least give their reasons, actually. So I'm glad you asked this question. Okay, good. Why you chose it. I don't know why you chose it.

I don't know why anyone would choose it. Are you an actual former member of Fort N' Blonde's? Is that what this about the dream is over, man? Give it up singing Katie Perry song or something. Why it was a terrible idea. I don't know if I agree with that part. This song is long, true. It is five minutes long.

It is self-serious, but most of all, it shows that you think you're an awesome singer, but also too cool to sing a Broadway song, which, ironically, makes it the entire thing even worse, what's going on, which I kind of see that. I think I just... I think that sounds like someone who wrote it doesn't know how to sing, and is fucking salty about it. I'm gonna throw that out there.

I'm with you on that. I just think I just hate, I'm an internet crotchety old man. And I hate when people bring internet memes into real life. And I feel like just like Africa, Toto's Africa, doing what's up. Again, I'm going to stop you right there. But it's become an internet meme.

And therefore everyone's like, oh, Africa, Africa, and that song is anything you do with that song is funny. I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with that song. I mean, there's a lot of things wrong with that song. That's the reason. Anything you do with it that is comical. Anything, I will always smile when I think about that song, when I hear it.

It's like, it's absolute pure serotonin for me. And I won't stand by and let you bad mount that song unless you're going to talk about the, I don't know, the weird colonialism of it. There's a lot to say about the song. I have a lot of weird things you can say about the song. I love MJ's like, fucking unpat. We just let MJ go. I just wanted to hear. I wanted to hear where you were going to go with it.

I mean, I don't even, that's the thing. I don't even think anyone understands how to talk about the colonialism. I've never even seen, like, a comprehensive, like, discourse about that. Like, I think everyone's just, like, I guess, I mean, it's got to be, it is racist, but, like, what is it even about? It's, like, too confusing to even know why it's racist, aside from the fact that it's missed, for some reason, about Africa. Like, you don't know, you know, it's just, but it's just, it's just, it's. It works for me.

I don't agree with a lot of these choices, but I will say also Angel by Sarah McLaughlin is a terrible choice for a karaoke song. Apparently, David Pike, I don't know how to say his last name, said that the song, Toto's Africa, is about a man's love of the continent of Africa, rather than a personal romance. He said he based the lyrics around a late-night documentary

with depictions of African plight and suffering. It had a lasting impact on him. It both moved and appalled me. This is very funny. So he's not going to do anything, but he is going to write a song where these white guys are going to make a lot of money. He says it both moved and appalled me

and the pictures just wouldn't leave my head. I try to imagine how I'd feel about it if I was there and what I'd do. And what does he do? He writes a song about Africa. That's so funny because that's always, I've never thought that it was a love song about a person. I've always thought it was a love song about the continent of Africa.

And I think that's pretty clear based on the text, but it's always been kind of presented to be about a person, like that it's a love song about a love that took place in Africa. And I'm like, no, no, no. That guy just loves the continent of Africa as he has experienced it on television. Yeah. And I feel like I would feel the same way about the cast of the M&M characters. Oh, my God.

Not anymore because they took all their sexiness away. I laughed so hard when I saw the headline that the Eminem's characters are getting a new look to become more inclusive. It's not about the inclusivity part. It's just so funny. It's put, it's just, what is inclusive about it? They're wearing better heels. I think that's nice that she's wearing a thicker heel, the brown one. You know, but it's just, don't.

call it inclusive. They're all still on the back, right? I think that's the thing is all they had to do just do the redesign and not say anything. Yeah. No one would have noticed and if they did they would have been like, oh okay, whatever. They like slightly changed the thing. But just use the word

inclusive. I mean, was this their own PR statement? Right? I mean, it has to be. So the thing is that their arms used to all be tan. And now they're not anymore. It's like, does one of them speak another language? They're not human beings. Literally, what is inclusive?

I was staring at the picture of the before and after, and I'm like, okay, the orange Eminem is still anxious. He was anxious before. He's anxious again. But now he's addressed his mental health, MJ. Yes, he's different. But how has he? He's just like more anxious now. No, I just love, thank God, because every time I saw that green Eminem, I was like ripping off my panties.

And I was like, let me add her. Now she doesn't have gogo boots on anymore. Dry is the Sahara. How are I supposed to eat chocolate candies now? A lot of conservatives had a, like, they felt like this was too woke and they're like, I want the sexy green Eminem back. I want to fuck her, you know. I want a Dr. Seuss Eminem now.

Yes, it's just ridiculous. All of it. But my favorite, honestly, everyone was talking about the green Eminems. She lost her sexy boots and now she's just wearing sneakers. But my favorite is that they're like making the two girl Eminem's like pass the Buckdale test. because the brown Eminem now and the green Eminem used to like be bitchy to each other because women are bitches when they're in the same room with each other but now not anymore we're awoke now and so now the two Eminems work to get the two lady Eminems are like sisterhood is forever and they're

like cool with each other instead of fighting over the like limited men in their lives which are like the three other Eminemes it's so I think about I mean you lost me so No, are. It's ridiculous. Think about, like, remember when they took the animals out of the cages on the animal crackers, like, containers? Fine. You know what? Even that, I'm like, hell yeah, free those animals.

Yes, we are eating them, so technically they are still in a box cage that is going to go inside of my mouth. But, fine, take them, take the bars away from outside of the animal crackers. This just, both sides of it and the war, quote unquote, about it. all of it is so funny. No one actually. Did you really see people really, I feel like they talk about people actually caring, but no one actually does.

I think it's literally just Russian bots talking to each other. Like I don't even think, I think that it's literally at this point just bots that communicate and then we like write these dumb news stories about them and they're all, none of it's real ever. The reaction is like, oh, the M&Ms are all non-binary now and then a bunch of conservatives are like,

I want her to fuck that Eminem. And then there's a story about that, you know. I don't want to be in a bathroom now with that. Yeah, exactly. And it's just like, it's not. Why are you eating Eminem's in the bathroom, sir? Maybe you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, okay? Hashtag Team Skittles.

To make it more inclusive, they're going to make the M&Ms all different sizes. Are you out of your fucking mind? People seek out M&Ms because they're all the same fucking size. They're all the same size. And they're not going to make the actual M&Ms different sizes, right? I thought that that was what it said. It's just in the imagery? No.

That would make any sense I'd throw off the whole thing if they made them different sizes. Well, that's what I thought. I'm always going to throw it back to if you want inclusivity, you go back to the Burger Kings Kids Club. Now, that's the inclusivity I'm fucking talking about.

That was back before it was woke to even have the inclusivity. And I always remember that I was like, hell yeah, that's a lot of fun because they had wheels, and I always loved the wheels character that you would get inside of the meat. Maybe I just grew up on fast food.

Am I the only one that grew up on fast food? I ate McDonald's at least once a week and usually like probably three times a week. I loved fast food growing up. That was my favorite thing. I was lonely and I was sad and I loved McDonald's. So that's what I had.

Now you've grown up. Now you're lonely and sad, but you go to five guys. And that's... Yeah, now I go to five guys. I was talking about my afternoon passy earlier with these two. You know, they're making these M&Ms

different fucking shapes, people. I saw it. I don't know how I missed this. Part of the article. It's kind of buried. at the bottom. But yeah, it definitely says in an effort to represent all different shapes of sizes, the candy manufacturer will be shaking up the look

of the actual candies. I mean, they've already had Eminem minis and stuff. And also, the peanut M&M's have always been bigger. The Ominemids is always bigger. But in the bag, when you buy a bag of M&Ms, you are buying it, knowing that every M&M in that bag is going to be the same shape. Now I guess it's

going to be, oh, fun. But let me tell you something. Have you ever heard of a choking hazard? Because I buy Eminem's regular non-peanut Eminemes, knowing that my two and three-year-old can eat them. Now I'm going to buy a fucking bag of M&Ms and there's going to be some that are choking hazards and some that aren't.

Come on. And they also change non- peanut Eminemes to non-binary. So you're going to have to get used to that. That yellow M&M is definitely, he could be the non-binary mascot for sure. He's also pretty anxious. Orange Eminem gets all the anxiety. But in the commercials,

yellow Eminem is the one that's like, ooh, ooh, and red's the asshole. Yeah. If they want to make it more inclusive, if they should just make red go to like a sensitivity training. And now if I get one of these bags, am I, because I do own them now, am I not allowed to fat shame the larger M&Ms in the bag?

Which you always do too. Every time you always take them out and be like, look at Fetty. Yeah, Fannie Eminem. Run a mile right now. Run a mile right now. I want to see it Eminem. I want to see it Big Yellow.

I want to see it right now, Big Yellow. You are a nightmare to those M&Ms, aren't you? I love it. I mean, it's how I get, you know what I mean? Some people, they take it out on people, random people on the streets, some people road rage, you know, whatever you're going to do. I take it out on the various candies that I eat. I love it. And you know what?

Yeah, yeah, Sour Patch kids are a bunch of little fucking bitches if you ask me, by the way. Oh, they're so sour, but then I lick, lick, oh, and then they're sweet. And then they're all, oh, yeah, then they're ready to be mash. They're ready to be mash. Yeah, exactly. Suck the sour right off of them. But where does Peter Dinklage go to really get out all of his rage? He takes it to Mark Maren's WTF podcast.

And talk about someone that put their rage out in the proper way. I read this article and I was like, yeah, that makes a lot of fucking sense. Peter Dinklage came out against Disney because Disney is redoing Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. And he just openly was like, I'm just like, what are you? you doing? You're progressive in one way because you hired a Latina actresses Snow White, but then you're still making that fucking backwards story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together? What the fuck are you doing, man? Take a step back and look at what you're doing there. It makes no sense to me. Hell yeah, Peter Dinkley. Is there a trailer out? I'm trying to find it now.

No, there's not, but then Disney came back. So Disney then, in between the time I sent you guys that article and now. Disney has responded. And their response would just, man, the amount of teams probably working around the clock to put out this response. They're replacing the dwarves with M&M's. That's going to be the seven M&M's. Oh my God, I wish. And they're all going to be really sexy, but they're all going to be very sexual. They're going to just be like, suck me snow white and fuck me snow white.

I'm a 10. I'm right. I'm right. It's going to be crazy. They said to avoid reinforcing stereotypes from the original animated film. We're taking a different approach with these seven characters and have been consulting with members of the dwarfism community. We look forward to sharing more as the film heads into production after a lengthy development period. Then why are you making it?

Yeah. Why are you doing it? Why are you making it? You know, it's- Make another movie. That's the thing. I think when I read this, I was like, this is so interesting because Peter Dinklage is, of course, right. And it's just like there are some movies that might just, the text itself,

just might be not redeemable in a current remake time. You know, I think that there's lots of examples from Disney, other Disney movies where it's like you could, they could, they probably could remake like Peter Pan and take out the racism against indigenous people or do that somehow differently and better. But also sometimes there's just a text that's like, you know what? That was a product of its time.

But also, yeah, we're talking about, like, a group of people that has experienced a lot of harm from this, and we can just, like, let it go. That's it. Yeah. Did you guys see Snow White and the Huntsman in 2012? So this is at the end of this new article that came out. So the legend of Snow White was recreated in an updated yet grittier version. I remember Snow White and the Huntsman. It was starring Kristen Stewart.

I did not see it. Charlize their own was played Queen Ravenna. But what I didn't know is that the seven dwarves were played by people, like other actors that had their faces digitally put onto smaller actors like Bob Hoskins and Ian McShane. I did not know that that's what they fuck. Then why are they making this movie? Stop. Why don't they just do the knees on the shoes like any other self-respecting production? It's so disrespectful.

It's so horrible. That's so crazy. Yeah, I never thought about it so much. I love that Peter Dengal. It's always been the one person out there really banging that drum and having that integrity because it takes that in order to move this stuff forward. But it's an odd one. I mean, you know, I know they're definitely just doing it to make that sweet, delicious Disney money. You know what I mean?

I get it. You know, and then we're going to have the, what is it, Guillermo's Pinocchio is going to be out. I know. We have to just mind everything that already exists to remake it. But yeah, like there's, maybe there is a way to be like, we're in touch with the dwarfism community and so it's going to be better. But it's just the premise of the thing is called Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. When I was a kid, I was like, when I found out that like dwarfism was like a real thing and that there were like real people who were dwarves, I was like, no, that's like a magical thing from Snow White. You know, like this is just an actual example for as much.

as people, the way that we talk about, like, woke stuff is often frustrating and stupid. This is an actual example of how the things that you watch when you're a kid shaped the way you think about the world. Right. And then you're like, oh, like, I see a real person who is a little person and I think like, oh, wow, you're like magic. Like, there's actually, this is like an actual example of why it matters how you represent people, you know, like, communities, yes. Yeah. Like, he's just right and there's not really a way that you can, I don't think that there's like an

amount of people you can consult with to like change the premise and name of the film, you know? I just don't know what they're going to do. I feel like then you have to immediately that's like you've got to do it. It's like, I guess if you're going to make it more like the Lost Boys. It's like well then you're just coping from another

Disney movie in my brain. It's like, let's have like a crossover maybe. It's just like, oh, it's all the Winnie the Pooh You know, and it's like, oh, the Winnie the Pooh characters, they all live in the tree. And so they come and they help. Snow White, didn't you have to fucking change it up? What if it was just like gnomes? Right, something that's like, like, elf, I was just, like, elf is, is, I think, like, totally passes the test because it's just purely, there's no reference, like, it's just purely magic.

Even even Peter Dinklage makes the joke of like, no, like elves are a different fucking thing. Right. That's even a part of the fucking movie. Right, right. Yeah, fairies, elves, gnomes, these are all fairy tale, magical fairy tale stuff. I mean, I'm also, I pulled up the Wikipedia for the actual 19th century German fairy tale. I mean, it is based on, you know, the source material. I believe the seven dwarfs are in the original story.

But, I mean, still, couldn't you just change, like, just tweak it a little bit and just give it actual, like, magical forest creatures as opposed to the real term dwarf? I don't know. I don't even know. I don't know what's going on with you. stuff, though. I'm just glad I'm not on the driver's seat of this situation. Yeah, I mean, you know, there's some people that are upset about that. Then there's some people that are upset about Julia. And we got Julie. Julie. I'm talking about Julia Fox and Kanye West. You know what? This is starting to

freak me out a little bit because this person clearly just wants to be Kim Kardashian and is just kind of doing, I feel like this is like the setup for a horror movie. right? This is like hand that rocks the cradle shit or something, right? Like, I feel like this person was obsessed with. This is, we're talking about Julie Fox. We're talking about Julia Fox, who quote says, unfazed by Kanye relationship. I've dated billionaires my entire adult life.

Henry sent me this, a link to this article at like 2 a.m., which is like, I've never understood a woman more. He's like, we've got the same amount of belly because in a lot of the pictures, she wears a lot of low-rise pants and then really short crop tops. So it is that old-school low-rise. It's a lot of her torso that is shown.

And I guess she exclusively dates billionaire. Which the age, I think he got that from, because he also reads that blind items page and that was listed on there. And the blind item was like, did Julia Fox just admit to yachting? Like, which is essentially what that kind of is. And then on top of that, you know,

it's always interesting to me the people who were like, I was her biggest fan and now I've got her man her man, you know what I mean? And it's creepy, bro. And like I feel like the whole thing is her just like, she was literally,

what did she, what's the exact fucking quote? I wanted them to be my family. You feel like you know them referring to keeping up with the Kardashians. Yeah, that's scary. Yeah, dude. And now it's like this whole, I feel like I know all the members and sister wives,

but I also am not going to go be the fifth fucking wife. You know why? Whatever. You would do that in a hard- I'm too spicy. I couldn't give them the amount of children he wants. You're only not because they haven't asked you. Yeah, exactly.

But Cody Brown, just give me a shot. I know you're losing wives left and right right now. So, I mean, I know you got open spots. Unbelievable, Jackie. Yeah, you would totally do this, give this the sister wives treatment, you know? Just creeping me out a little bit Because everyone wants to be like,

oh, he's like love bombing her, manipulating her, I'm like, I think actually she's the creepy one in this situation. I think it kind of goes both ways, which makes it doubly creepy. Like, you know, it's like how I was just listening to a podcast about this, but how like Katie Holmes, you know,

said when she was 17 and 17 magazine, like, I have a crush on Tom Cruise and I want to marry him or whatever. and then, like, they, when they got married, and it's like... In contract, yeah. It's like, he's Kanye West. Like, there's no one he can date that won't probably have had a previous relationship with him as a figure. But it is creepy for her.

It's almost creepier than the Katie Holmes thing. It's creepy to me that it's all about Kim. She doesn't say shit about having been a Kanye fan this whole time. Right, right. It's like that she wants to be... That's the creepy part is that it's not that. I mean, in that case, I feel like in a lot of cases, that was a list I wanted to actually look up to Sinda Jackie. I'm sure it exists of people who were fans of, like super fans of people they ended up later dating.

Yeah. Right? But in the sense, in the case of those people, I feel like Tom Cruise could easily be let known that Katie Holmes used to have a huge crush in him when she was a little girl and then capitalize on that like a creepo. And I'm, he fucks fish. So what the fuck. Why wouldn't he do that? Yeah. You know what I mean?

He just goes, undadossi, right? Oh. And then, but then with. this situation, I feel like it's almost even more insidious because it's the whole, you know, yeah, I think she wants to be Kim. It's like, it's like the Katie Holmes situation meets like, um, like the bunny boiler, you know, kind of classic.

Oh yeah, or like, yeah, hand that right, not hand that rocks the cradle, but, um, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, why can't I think of the fucking, the glenclose one? Single white female. Not single white female. That's a virgin white one. There was a lot of those movies in the early. So, to be fair.

Yeah. What is that? Yeah, there was a lot of those movies. Like, I'm going to take over your entire life. Because people, fatal attraction. Thank you. Thank you. Because I want everyone to always remember that women are scary.

Women are sad. And I think that the 90s capitalized on it. We're coming back around to it again. I will throw it out there that I kind of liked their very weird, oversized matching denim Outfits a la Britney Spears and Justin Tipperlake God, and he's so obsessed with those big boots. Loves what's going on with those boots. They're huge. I bet he's like, makes you feel like

a fucking superhero. I'll fucking fight crime in these motherfuck. You know what he mean? Like, I bet he's like that about it or whatever. Go for him, fight the crime. It's hard. I feel like about 5% of Kanye's fashion ideas are like really cool. And then the other ones I'm just like, I don't know, what? What? I don't know what you're doing. That's fashion. You're right, because it makes me feel like every time

when I used to live with Henry and Natalie and then we would sit and watch Project Runway and Henry and I constantly, almost every episode, the ones that we liked the most were always the ones that got kicked off. And so then we started playing the game where we were trying to watch all the back episodes of Project Runway

to like choose the craziest one that we hated the most. And three out of four times we were right with choosing who won the season. And I'm like, that's how little I know about fashion. You know, or at least, I mean, I've got style but that kind of in fashion. Couture, like, fancy pants fashion.

I don't understand it. It all makes no sense. But it is fun. It's a made up world. It is. And there's a picture of the two of them of Giuliae, Julie E. And they're together and he's got like, it seems like a gimp mask. But it's not a gimp mask.

It's like a fashion hood that goes over his face. Very scary. And it should be Yalia. But you know what? Yeah. She wants to be like Kim too much. And it's Kim Yeh, so it's got to be Julia. It's weird.

She's weird. You're right. It should be Aaliyah. It should be different. And I think that's why when people are like that they've been dating for like two and a half weeks. Right. Already with the like, and she's the one that came up with the nickname and started pushing it. So maybe they deserve each other.

I don't know. I think it's going to be a bad scene for him when he's done with it. That's all I'm going to say. I think it's not going to be a fun scene. And I'm scared for Kim a little bit. I think she wants to wear this woman's skin. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Julia. Julia Fox or whatever. Terrify. Can you imagine the security team that she has between, like I would only hold that Kim Kardashian is the kind of security team because if he's living,

like, or planning on living across the street, openly saying that he's going to, even in Jess, go after her current boyfriend, I imagine she's got the security on there pretty thick right now. Although who knows?

He did just show up at their kids birthday party uninvited. We didn't even get to talk about the Oscar Meyer baloney face mask and that's disgusting. You can stick out to the baloney face mask. I'm saying this is the hot dog fucking ambassador on the southwestern region in the United States.

The Oscar Meyer baloney face mask, which is an actual face mask. I think if that makes it worse, I'd rather just put baloney on my face. Here's the thing. People did used to make faces out of baloney. I did it all the time. But no one put it on their face. Well, sometimes I put on my face.

Especially after cable guy. Yeah. Remember when Jim Carrey puts in and he doesn't like, hello, crass. Of the lambs. Yes, of the limes. And so you definitely did put it on her face after biting out the eyes and the mouth. But that was a Jim Carrey reference and not just, you know, baloney kicks. So the new Oscar Meyer's baloney face mask is not made of baloney, but it's, it looks like baloney. Does it smell like baloney?

So it doesn't, it's got like witch hazel. Technically all the things in it, witch hazel botanical and seaweed derived. ingredients that, bullshit, bullshit, collagen, okay, baloney design induces unparalleled serotonin surges, I don't know about that, and prolific amount of selfies.

Now, the problem is that it looks like, and it does make me think back into the celebrity coven system that uses the very expensive face lotion that's made out of the baby foreskins, which it's not, it's made out of stem

cells, but of course, people say that it's made out of baby foreskins, But if you're going to think about four skins, can you not? Like, it looks like a four skin mask, right? Just me? It does look like the four skin of a baby for sure. But at the same time, my real, my question is, does the face mask have a first name? Whoa.

It's F-A-C-E-E. Two E's. Yeah, it's a Fossier. It's a Fossier. Fossier. That's a weird. you make it fancy. Interesting, isn't it?

That is the baloney basket relationship with Kanye as well? Is that the time you have? Fossier. Good Lord. I feel like, I mean, I guess I'll, if I saw one in the wild, obviously, I would purchase it and I will put it on my face. I mean, I'm glad that it is not made out of bologna because when I first was tagged in it, I was like, that's a very, you're just selling, like, at that point, you're just selling bologna donuts. And if you're going to call them bolognuts. Yeah, I'll buy.

I just made that up, and I'm a great marketer. Blownuts. Balo nuts. Sounds like you're just giving a set of testicles a blow job. Hold on it, it's not blow nuts, it's balo. Bolognauts. You gotta say it really carefully. And you bite the little hole in there.

Yeah. Understandable. Before we get into the conspiracy, I just wanted to give shoutouts to the whole Neil Young Spotify situation. and I had to just go look it up because the update was that they did indeed remove his music. In fact, there is no Neil Young on that Spotify essentially. So for anyone that does not know.

I've got playlists with Neil Young on them. I know when I fucking love Neil Young. That's totally going to plug up a lot of shit too. I love I will have to probably get it all on vinyl or something at this point. In case nobody knows. You know what? Man, Neil Young, the forever curmudge of my fucking heart. Neil Young was like, I will not be on Spotify anymore,

especially because of Joe Rogan. You're either going to take Joe Rogan off of Spotify or I am taking all of my music. And this was within, or at least it went, it was like, at least it went wide a couple days ago. But within two days, music off, music on. He took his music. He's like, I will not be on Spotify with Joe Rogan.

And what a fucking, because he's Neil Young, he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do. What a power move. Good for you, Neil Young. Make your stand, and I'm going to miss you from Spotify. Yeah, that's a fucker right there. Man. And we will still, I mean, not because of Joe Rogan and not because of Neil Young,

we will continue. Now is the time of not of our discontent that we are going to let you guys know that February 1st, you heard it over on last podcast network, but starting February 1st, we will not be Spotify exclusive anymore. And it is nothing. There's not like a deal went south or it. anything. There's literally nothing bad happen. We just wanted to be able to be able to be open and available for everyone on every platform and because a lot of people didn't get to listen to our

shows anymore. So if you've got friends that stop listening because they're like, I fucking hate Spotify or I cannot download Spotify or I just can't, like, I'm out of the country and I'm in a certain country where we can't have Spotify, let them know that we will be, Mr. Worldwide. We're going to be very pit bull starting February 1st. You can find us wherever you get your podcasts. There you go. Look at that. All right, now hit me with the share.

Do you believe it? Did Justin Bieber fake having Lyme disease? Wow. Right now. Let's see how this one goes. Yeah, well, I will just preface all of this with this one. Comes from Elle, whose thoughts and opinions do not necessarily reflect that of the host of the show. However, this email was funny enough that I have to read it pretty much verbatia.

I love it. I like where this is going. So this is from Elle. Before we get started, I just want to say a huge thank you to y'all and the entire LPN fan for providing such a reliable source of levity for me and the greater fan base. Now, on to the conspiracy. Ahem. Did Justin Bieber fake having Lyme disease?

We all know that Justin Bieber's developed a, how you say, complicated reputation since he's grown out of his status as a child star and into a full-on mega celebrity. Unfortunately, partially due to him going through. adolescence under the weight of super fame and being a little dipshit, Bieber's gain notoriety as less of a bad boy, more of a toxic little fuck. Evidence includes slamming your corridor

and his wife's face. Haders will say it's not his fault, even though it fucking clearly is. Pissing in that mop bucket, L.M.A.O. I don't even know what that one was. Oh my god, when he pissed, that, oh, I'll never, that's one of my never forgets with Justin Bieber.

When he pissed in the mop bucket, and it's like the people were closing down the fucking, like, restaurant that he was in. And he's like, I don't give a shit, and he pissed in the pop. And, like, that was when he was at his, like, worse. But still, I was like, as someone that worked in a restaurant, especially at that time, I was like, fuck you. Fuck you. There's also losing his pet monkey.

There's also owning a pet monkey in the first fucking place. Yelling at his wife for beating him in, like, Rinky Dink arcade basketball WTF. I don't even know that one either. Essentially, everything featured in his comedy Central Roast. So where does the Lyme disease factor in? Thank you for the reminder. I'm getting to it. Bieber revealed that he allegedly came down

with the tick-borne illness in January 2020. To that, I say whatever, huge caps. What is the size of this font? 18-sized font, everything else is 11-sized font. You can just tell by looking at it? Oh, well, I just clicked on it to see what the font size was in. I wish you. That's my uncanny abilities, yeah, what are my uncanny abilities

is to just understand the exact, like, type. And this is Georgia font, 11. I don't like the back of my head. I posited to you instead that Justin Bieber faked his Lyme disease diagnosis in order to get public opinion back in his side after he's put on blast at his roast and the public at large realized just how much of an irresponsible punk ass he was. He would hope that his incurable diagnosis would help others feel sorry for him, but guess what? He forgot how much he sucks. Later that same month, presumably after not getting the attention slash pity to which he was so entitled, Jabili B. Billy.

to Billy B. Billy shut a car door in his wife's face. I ask you, have you ever accidentally shut a car door in someone's face when you knew that the other door on the street side in this case was inaccessible? Not only that, but this happened

in January 2020. Guess who became overwhelmed with healthcare stress in 2020. Since he's a whiny little piss boy, Beams got all mad that the attention was pulled away from his totally real diagnosis onto the actual confirmed real pandemic

and got caught on camera yelling at his wife, boo, who? My thoughts go, out to Haley Schmeber for having to be married to such gutter trash, along with the alleged tick that allegedly bit this alleged celebrity. I am not biased. How dare you? I will say big up to MJ for being a little more empathetic towards Justin, saying we should be a little more patient because stardom totally destroyed his childhood, and he never had much of a chance to mature anyway.

I, however, am a crotchy old man, so I will not hesitate to type in the email or write to my congressperson if my sleepates don't kick in first. In all sincerity, I do want to thank you all again for the joy you share with us every week. Jackie, you're an inspiration. Holden, I channel you when I'm drunk, so pray for me. MJ, you saying last week that you're not a smart person because you watch more TV than movies while being like the smartest person with excellent politics and tastes is such pure millennialism, big mood.

Cheers and lots of love out. I love you. I'd follow you into battle. Yes, I'd see what every say. Yes, you're right. Yep. Let's get him. Love that.

No, you're right. Yeah, and I just want to find him and be like, where's the tick? And he'll just be screaming like, where's the tick? As if he still has to have the tick on him to have the Lyme's disease, which is not true. But it would be kind of fun. He also made a prediction on how you guys would react, and so far he is correct. MJ, what about you? I'm thinking about the time I found a tick on Kidian like five days after we had been in the woods.

No, what? That tick has been there for a while. Where'd you find it? It was like on the back of his, like, knee? He was like, I feel like the back of my knee's really itchy. And will you take a look at it? And I looked and I was like, huh, what's this? And it was just a tick.

And it was Thursday. That's so scary. At a friend's cabin like over the weekend. And we were just like, oh. So what happens? This is, can you tell how much of a city person I am? I'm like, but then what, what do you do? I know you can't just rip it out.

Well, we're very steady. I somehow, well, that's the thing. You're supposed to do this whole thing where you light up a tweezers and then fucking rip it out. I just like, I just was kind of like got what I could out. But then I think that he contacted his doctor and got some like, I think that they have like a pre, like a prophylactic, you know, if you think you got Lyme disease, you can take this kind of anti-biased.

I don't remember. But I remember being very scared because like a year earlier, a friend who, coincidentally, whose family's cabin we were at where Gideon got the tick. A year earlier, the friend had gotten a Lyme disease, and he got like really sick for, you know, it's like a scary, scary thing. And so Justin Bieber, I'm glad that you didn't get extremely sick with debilitating chronic Lyme disease,

I guess, but also it sounds like you're a little punk. I agree with that. He is a punk. No question about it. All right, there you go. Did we both respond the way that they thought we were going to respond? So I believe. You were going to be, okay, yeah, I think MJ was supposed to be more of like a maybe, probably not. But whatever, I still appreciate L. Do I believe that he faked it?

I don't, yeah, I don't know. Actually, do I believe? No, I don't think he faked it. There you go. So that's in line with the prediction. All right. Well, that's your celebrity conspiracy. By the way, I think that was number 80.

Hell yeah. Yeah, that was number 80, by the way. That just shows you how many weeks we have been in the pandemic. Forever and ever and ever. Well, I guess we both believe and thank you so much for sending in this amazing, amazing conspiracy. Oh, wait, we missed the opportunity to say that we believe

because I always say I believe. And this week is a week we can really say we believe. Also, and there's some other ones in there too. I haven't gotten to. Please keep sending them in. Page 7, podcast at gmail.com, page the number seven podcasted, the numeral seven podcast at gmail.com.

And I also, I will get to the other ones as well. I love it. Thank you. And I guess it's time for the list? Oh! Who's on the list? It's me.

Jackie, got to have that list. Ooh! 15 celebs we didn't know have very surprising phobias. Now the thing is you're like, Jackie, we've done this list before. But this list actually has ones on it that I did not know about.

Did you know, will this kind of make sense? Sting has a huge phobia of any kind of injury to his hand or fingers? I feel like that's not so much of phobey. as it is that he makes all of his money from his hands and his fingers. Yes, it's like our insurance conversation last week. It's a little bit like it. But I just love these as I do have a little quirky things,

lock sensitivity about arms. Like if I'm watching a movie or actually they're in person, if someone has a hand accident that really gives me the ebb and jimis. Yeah, right? It's just like this, though, apparently rats are incredibly terrifying. to Ozzy Osbourne. Really? People.

He says they've got so many diseases we don't have the cure for. And I was like the man that ripped off the head of a bat. Right. It's scared of rats. Which is hilarious too, considering, you know, COVID and everything. It's the bat was the culprit all along, Ozzy. The bat was the thing. But were they also the thing, Kristen Stewart?

Because Kristen Stewart says that she outright hates horses. Wow. the anti-horse girl. Anti-horse! The hatred comes from a childhood injury. I fell off a horse once and hurt myself really badly. I broke and dislocated my elbow when I was like nine. And now that bitch, she hates horses.

Every time there was like a school, like a group of kids trip to like a horse place, there's always one kid that gets traumatized by the horse, right? I mean, doesn't that happen every single time they get injured somehow on the horse? I'm scared of horses. I don't want to be near them. They're so big. You either fall in love with him forever or you're like whatever, but there's always one kid out of the group that had,

you watch it happen. I remember one time a horse just got out and she banged her head on like a wooden pole on the way out of the barn because the horse got all crazy. You know what I mean? I'm like, well, that, there you go. That's making a lifelong horse phobia. Yeah. They're very big and very strong.

And it's easy to get, yeah, I think I was on a horse once at like Girl Scout camp and the horse got spooked and it was totally fine. But it was just like, all you need is a split second when you're on a horse. horse and you don't know what's going to happen where you're just like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I don't even know if I told you guys in just like in life as well that like three years ago, so my sister-in-law on Jeff's side is a horsewoman, like real strong, like fucking badass woman. And I went to net, like, we were visiting them in Nashville and she's like, oh, you should come

out to the ranch. She was like, no, no, no, no, come out to the ranch. It'll be great. It's like, yeah, look at me. Extra ranch. The only kind of thing I know about ranch is the dipping sauce. So I went out there and I had my fun, silly, cute cowgirl boots on. And there was a horse that her friend, who had had it for 18 years,

and the horse was in a lot of pain. So she was, like, and going blind. And she was having, like, a fucking freak out. And she was trying, like, this horse that she's grown up with. And she's trying to, like, calm the horse down and just kept, like, running at her and, like, just, like, making these screeching sounds. And then my sister-in-law is like, yeah, so you should come meet my horse. I was like, no.

This is there. Like, it was so close to it. Like, what are you talking about? And she's like, well, it's just they're going, like, the horse is going through a lot of problems. And she's the only one because it's like, you know, her, like, it's her horse. She's the only one that can help bring it back. And I was like, that's, like, all I have is the utmost respect for horses. Yes, I do respect.

Yes, I agree. I respect them. They're beautiful. I like the horse therapy episode. queer I, but I don't want to be close to them. Right, right, right. They're very muscular. They're just so big, but at least that's like a normal thing as someone that lives in

Los Angeles that don't have to worry about too often. But did you know that Patrick Stewart has a phobia of crossing the street? For him, crossing the street apparently isn't just a simple, regular, everyday thing. It's kind of a gamble with death. And I think that if you were at a point where it's like, maybe Patrick Stewart, maybe just doesn't have to cross the street anymore. Maybe he just, you know, in my brain, he has a group of very attractive men come and lift him above the street. And so he doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

But it can't just me. I feel like just like horses, crossing the street is very scary. Cars are very scary and I don't like them. And they kill pedestrians all the time. Especially in New York. In New York, it's just a fucking death. They're just death. machines that kill people here.

And I used to hate how much stress there was around crossing the street when you're a little kid. Because I was just like, come on. But now I'm like, man, I think I'm one of those grownups that's just like, the street will kill you. You have to be to teach the children to stay away from it. I told the kids today, I was like, they saw somebody like going like an adult cross the street like J-walk.

And they were like, that person went into the street. And I was like, well, when you're an adult. you are like, you can make the decision to cross the street. Like, you can go into the street. You're not supposed to go to crosswalk, but like adults know when to go into the street safely. And I was like, believe it or not, when you guys are like nine or 10 or 11, you'll be able to cross the street by yourself too and decide when you can cross the street. Did you break their brains?

So it just goes, I'm too tiny. Oh, my God. And you're right. You're too tiny. You can't see the cars. It's not good for you. Oh, my God. And I was like, that's right.

You don't go anywhere near the street. It will kill you, just like Patrick Stewart says. Yeah, just teach them that Patrick Stewart hates it. Then they'll be terrified for the rest of the time. And they might end up being terrified of the new M&Ms if they end up anything like Kira Sedgwick, who has a big phobia of talking foods as in, say, talking pizzas, which means she often has to leave if food commercials are on. And it even made her husband. Evan Bacon turned down an offer to play a talking peanut Eminem.

It all comes back around. Inclusivity of the M&Ms. Amazing. Not very inclusive of you to terrify Kira Sedgwick. Kira is being a little bit, I'd say prejudice, a little bias here. I think that we need to normalize talking food a little bit. Yeah, yeah, it just makes me think of a, even the vegetables don't like them in Muppets. of a Christmas carol.

And that's my list. Hey, I think I'm going. Wow. We can't see them. Got a few fun ones for you this week. Man, I thought for a second there was a drought, and then I just three just banged out right on the money when I went back yesterday. It's in a desperate attempt to find some blinds.

These are some fun ones. The last time I saw the new. photo slash playing card of the recently deceased legend auctioned. I think it went for about $1,500 a few years back. It was an uncut autographed. Yes, she signed one, four cards set. One is now being offered that isn't autographed for $50,000. And Nicole Smith?

Nude playing card, recently deceased, recently deceased legend. Meatloaf. Who died? Meatloaf. Not meatloaf. It has to be meatloaf. Not meatloaf. Oh, Betty White.

Yes. Queen. Nudies. Say it again? A nude photo slash playing card. That was actually the one that this person claims to have seen was signed in a four-card set. But one is now being offered that is an autograph for $50,000. Do you believe it's true?

Celebrity conspiracy. I mean, from when? Like that's a thing. Probably way back in the day, probably. I mean, Betty White's had like a forever long. I just wish it was from like 10 years ago. I think it's true. I hope that's true.

She was a hottie. Oh, she was hot. And they loved their nudie. playing cards back in the name. Remember that? Oh, yeah. That was the thing. And the pins that you'd put up.

Oh, my God, I love those pens. You turned it upside down, the clothes fall off. Yeah, and the clothes fall off. Or if it's like, or it'd just be like, something normal from a tourist place you were at. Or it would be tits. People have always been so horny, and the way that their horniness manifested

and all the times before the internet, it's just so weird. You're like, oh, look at this pen and then the clothes fall off. I mean, I think it's fun horny. I love a tourist trap horny. Yeah, woods porn, all that good stuff. Yeah, for sure. All right.

This A-List mostly movie actress saw the success of the reunion of another franchise and very much once won for a different movie franchise also based on books. She thinks it will give her career a boost and also maybe make someone

want to make more of the movies. J-la, J-Lah. No, what would that be? For Hunger Games, wouldn't it? No, not Hunger Games. Oh, J-K. Jay Ney more fucking like? Well, the recent reunion was for Harry Potter, right?

Yeah. This actress saw the success of that and wants to maybe have this for themselves for their own franchise that they were the lead actress of that was based on books that put out several movies not too long ago that is starting to get a little bit of a, I feel like, kind of nostalgia feedback lately.

You're not talking to. Twy-Ty, are you? Maybe. Jackie, you are single-handedly responsible for the, if there's a Twyrenaissance, it's you. I find it kind of hard to believe that Kristen Stewart actually is that fond of the franchise enough. She hates them. She hates the Twilight movies.

She hates them the same way our Pats hates them. Maybe she's changed her tune. It might be fun. It'd be really fun to do a, like, older, like, Bella. Well, I also think, well, she is currently writing a, book, ugh.

Smires is writing a book about like the child that Jacob imprints upon like I think 16 years later. It seems that's what's going to be about Jacob and the child that he imprints upon and I guess

I'm going to assume as their romance grows as she goes from essentially child into full grown woman at the age of 16. I'm assuming that like that's what I've heard the crumblings about. But I also would assume that maybe

K-stu wants a shot to do it properly. There is a way to do it better than it was done. Like, I love what they did, but what they did is camp. It's not, I think that they could do it

seriously if they really wanted to. Also, the money they would fucking make. Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah. Money. You know, she's been having her Oscar Bate fund, but maybe she just wants to get that big chunk money. Do you think that then you think

Anna Kendrick would be in it? And then do you think that she would get Bill Hayder in it because then since they were fucking secretly dating? I don't watch that same. Yes. Wait, was Anna,

what does Anna Kendrick have to do with Twilight? Was she in the original? She plays Jessica. Really? Yeah, she was in Twilight. That was like her first. Yeah, that was kind of her first. Maybe one of the friends.

Movie role, like big movie role, for sure. Yeah, I'm a bit of a Twybaby over here. Yeah. Um, come check out. Twilight over on Patreon. on Betra.com forward slash pageant podcast. Do it. Five bucks a month.

It's very, very good and worth it. Ha ha ha ha. I'm a bit of a word smith right now. The A-list, mostly movie actor slash sometimes director, just started shooting a documentary starring himself so he can show the world how wonderful and amazing and perfect he is as a human being. He, let me give you a little bit more. Boyd, is he a,

guy about the town. Ben Affleck. Yeah, that was pretty obvious because he directed the town. Because he directed the town. The boring name for a movie. Great movie though. Isn't that the movie that's currently out?

No, that's not a doc. Oh, is there a documentary about him? No, it's not a doc. I just thought that was hilarious that he would anyone who would be like, I want to make a documentary about myself. But I guess that's what's going on. I mean, yay is already, by the way.

I don't know if you saw him out there on. Genius. Yeah, on the internet being like Netflix. I'm, you know, you better give me final cut on this movie. This is my life, my vision, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, it's just so crazy. He's so crazy. To do that on like social, as a social media blast as to, I don't know, I suppose

like having your agent contacts the people at Netflix, you know what I mean? And doing it that way, it just seems a little healthier. But, uh, yeah, I just, I would never want to be involved in a documentary about my life. You know what I mean? It sounds it would be impossible, you know, just, I don't know. It seems like it would be impossible to do that right. Yes. I was thinking of the Tender Bar, the Tender Bar, which I've not seen it.

It's directed by George Clooney, and it has been Affleck in it, and it's got Christopher Lloyd in it. It's a movie that just came out a couple of weeks ago. And I've not seen the trailer for it. I've only seen the posters for it. So that's what I was thinking about. Not a talk. There you go. Well, when we make the movie about Holden's Life, Jackie and I will make it, and he won't be

involved. Oh, yeah. Please. And it'll be called the rebel rouser. That's it. Yeah, no, the rebel arouser. Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to get really in there. Ooh, baby. Yeah, the story of big thick. Oh, yeah, it's big dick. No, I think it's going to be cool. You're already too involved. Bolognauts.

Yeah, see, that's the problem. I'd get involved and it's like, yeah, so I want the first three minutes to be about how fun and mean my penis. Be like, make it thicker. Yeah, make it thicker. widen it in the thing. Make it wider.

Shorter and wider, please. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. Shaped like a dolphin it is. Wow. With the fin or without the side. Yeah, yeah, it squirts out the top, too. Squirt out the tip.

Good for you. These have been your blind items, so I hope you enjoyed them as lustily as I did in a carnal way. And if you'd like to show your carnal lust towards us, the patroness. Carnal lust. Show your carnal lust. Carnal lust.

We accept carnal lust. That's the only payment we actually accept. It's different for every person, but I will say speaking of our Patreon, we have decided the polls have spoken and that we will be watching the OG gossip girl over on the Patreon as well as including on our page 7 Discord. I am very excited to start watching it with all of you because all three of us have not. ever. I've never seen an episode of Gossip No, I lied. I think I've seen the first couple,

but like years ago. So yeah, hopefully it will be set up maybe even at the time this releases the Discord, Patreon thing will be all set up. So that'll be the $10 Patreon layer over on Patreon. If you subscribe to that,

then you will get access to our locked secret Discord voice channel where we will be streaming Gossip Girl and hanging out with you guys. And it's a great way for you guys to, you know, actually interact with us in a verbal, hell, even a video way if you want, if you are so not shy. Or if you just want to lurk in that channel and watch along with us too, that's also great. And we highly suggest. We hope you will join us. But yeah, we'll put out a big announcement when that is available.

for the $10 Patreon layer, we will be weekly watching episodes of Gossip Girl, it looks like, huh? Yeah, very excited about it. But even though Sister Wives didn't win, don't worry, I'm going to continue talking about it over on Talking TV, because now I've ripped the Band-Aid off

and sobbing Robin, I'm fucking coming for you. And I'm going to be the fifth wife. I'm very excited about that. How bad did it lose? What was that? How badly did it lose? It lost pretty, badly. Gossip Girl really came in for the win.

Really? Wow. Okay. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. Oh my goodness. A lot of supernatals, though. I didn't put supernatural on the poll, though. Oh. A lot of write-in. Write-in candidates. Big right in candidate. All right, we'll keep our eyes field because we can always change the show. We don't have to stick with any one thing. I don't think it's going to be forever with Gossack. I think we're going to bounce around. I think that's the fun of it. I think that we're going to keep it easy. We're going to have fun. Yeah, right now we'll just say we're going to watch season one. Definitely. I like that. We were fucking four seasons deep and pretty little liars and Jack Kina are like, what are we doing?

Yeah, that is tough. Because it really is, it's so much fun. And then like, he had season four, I'm like, I just, I don't care anymore. I don't, like it doesn't make any, like it doesn't make sense, not like in a Riverdale way. That happened with Riverdale and then season five

brought us back. Ouch, River, yes. I mean, I don't, don't. Now we can, now we're on the ups, MJ. We can't speak ill of Riverdale now. Oh, I know. I know. now it's actually very good again.

Oh, it's so fucking good. All right. And now it's time for the shoutouts. Oh. Shout and shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on.

Go read them to you. Come on. Oh, she's a black widow, baby. Becca, Black Widow. she's in our Twitch community, and now she's in our shoutouts as well as in our hearts. And hell yes, thank you so much for some mail carrier insider information. We all got to know this. Becca says, I'm a mail carrier, and I was delivering mail while listening to y'all talk about

mail carriers today. Very trippy. After hearing everything y'all said, I knew I needed to write in. Linda is so correct with how she treats her mail carrier. Not many people think about the fact that mail carriers go by your house. every day. We learn the people who live there, the vehicles, the pets, the kids, your habits. I know this is sounding bad, and maybe it could be if you have a creepy mail person, but we notice when things aren't right. If someone isn't checking their mail, if there's an unknown

car outside of your house, if your dog goes missing, we probably know what it looks like and are in the area to look for it. Being semi-acquaintances with your mail carrier could be a really good thing. And from my own experience, someone offering me a bottle of water during the summer, someone leaving me a small box of chocolates for Christmas, or even someone just writing thank you on a scrap of paper and leaving it in the mailbox makes all the difference. Those little acts of appreciation and kindness can literally turn our shitty day into a great day. And if we like you, we will look out for you even more. Accidentally put the wrong address on your mail or package, you'll probably still get it if we like you. If we like you, if we'll, if we like you. If we'll

we go by the book, anything without the correct address should be sent back. Now, Becca does say this in no way represents all male carriers, but the majority that I know. Love you all. Thank you so much, Becca, for writing that in, because I feel exactly the same way. I mean, honestly, and just in anyone in your life, just little acts of appreciation, they always go a long way. Thank you, Black Widow. And, oh, Katie, I just want to hug you. I want to hug you. Mama sausage fingers from the Twitch community here, and I have a self-shout that turns into a page 7 shout-out for you. I'm the director of purchasing at my local hospital in Montana, meaning I've been in the thick of COVID since before it came to my state. Throughout everything, the long hours,

the uncertainty, the fear, I've been able to raise my amazing, spunky baby sausage fingers. Amazing name. Thank you so much, Katie. Amelia Jean, with my farmer husband, daddy, sausage fingers. Your life, I just want, can I be one of the baby sausage fingers, please? Amelia is two and a half years old right now, and all she knows is pandemic mania. I've worked my ass off, and I felt like I was killing this whole working mom thing until I suffered a miscarriage. Even with me ugly crying and not wanting to be around anyone,

my little monster forced her way into my bed for cuddles and told me I was a superhero. I picked myself back up after that and got back to boss bitch mode at work. I'm not crying. I love you very much. Listening to page seven and the Twilight series on Patreon have been getting me through the days. I may be listening to the entire series again, but no one needs to know that. And you know what? I will be there for you inside of your ears, whether you want me to or not.

Please adopt me. You can take care of me. I'm so sorry. And I love you. And thank you so much for sharing. this story and, hell yeah, you are killing the whole working mom thing. You are a boss fucking bitch, Katie. Love you so much. You got this, baby. And we have another beautiful self-shout, and it goes out to Noah. Noah says, I wanted to send in a little self-shout because

I deserve it after the last year. I recently got myself out of a toxic work environment, hell yeah, and I've graduated to a much healthier job. My stress has been cut down so much. I never thought I'd be able to look at my phone again without anxiety. I also wanted to give a quick shout out to my sister, Nikki. You know, I love the sissy shout out, who is such a superstar. Honestly, we've both just been out here trying to survive the crushing student loan debt and shitty jobs, but she's crushing it and is working so hard every day. I love you, Nikki, in the name of Hot Dog Queen Jackie, I swear we will always come out on top. I decree it as well. Thank you so much, for writing in and all my love to you, Nikki, my darling, Nikki.

And oh my God, Lisa, I love your work. I know that we're not there yet, but yes, I will be emailing you. Anyway, let's get started with you, Lisa, because you are sharing the love today. Lisa says, first off, I'd love to throw recognition to two very important people in my life, my husband, Mike, and my best friend, Meridian. COVID has been hell for everyone, especially those of us with mental health challenges. I have known that I suffer from depression and ADD since 2015, and have been on medication to help me live my best life.

Hell yeah, go for you, girl, take care yourself. At the start of pandemic, my mental health started deteriorating at an alarming rate. Mike and Meridian both saw this happening and gave me the support and inspiration to go get additional help. Fuck yes. After struggling through the mental health system, I finally managed to find the right therapist and psychiatrist to help me, recognize the crippling anxiety that is taken hold, and now I have tools necessary to kick it

right in the ass. You are inspiring me right now. I am going through the struggle myself, and man, do you just want to give up? I'm so fucking proud of you. She says, I don't know where or how I would be, if not for them, so the least I could do is give them a heartfelt shout out on my favorite podcast. Mike Meridian, that was so very plus ultra of you. And now for something that is outside of my comfort zone, I'd like to give myself a shout out. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, it's hard to see things that I do as being worthy or deserving of praise. With the support of my friends and encouragement from my dice collecting community, I have made a name for myself as a respected dice re-inker. I take tabletop dice, remove the paint, and repaint the dice to fit any aesthetic.

I've actually started a little side hustle of selling my time and skill to other collectors who want to give their favorite dice a makeover. I'm very proud of my work I've done, and I think everyone should take time to share what they are passionate about because it's important. It's important because you are important and you are worth it. You can see my work at Lisa K-ink at Instagram.com, so it's L-I-S-A-K-A-K-Y, Inc. Lisa K-K-ink or Lisa K-K-ink on Facebook. Thank you so much for indulging me in my long-winded shout-out. It wasn't, and I'm so excited to see your work. Lisa K. Inc., please look it up. And thank you for the self-shouted.

I understand it's scary to write in an email to someone that you don't know and be like, oh, can you just like pump me up? But that's what we're here for. We have a beautiful community. And even if you just want to send your story and just write me an email, I won't read it. I don't have to read it if you don't want me to. I just, you know, sometimes you just got to get it out. You've got to just share, like you said, Lisa, share what you're passionate about,

Share positive things. We are here for each other, regardless of the fact that we are not in each other's homes or like having parties or something like that. But we're still here. I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for the shoutouts and the, oh, and the Portuguese messages and just all the messages in general. Love you guys. And that is it for our show this evening. I really appreciate you guys sticking around and hanging out with us and listening to us.

you know, hem and ha and scream about our eagles and our M&Ms. And I mean, right now it is, I feel like we didn't even make mention the fact that MJ is recording inside of a literal closet. And Holden is right outside of his bathroom in the thoroughfare of his home. Right outside of a closet. Yeah, you're all right. Yeah, you're right outside of your closet. So keep it in fun, keeping it real.

I've gone back into the closet. Holden has come out of the closet. I'm proud of both of you equally. And I love you guys. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Come hang out on Tuesdays and Thursdays over on Twitch. tv.tv.

Oh, no, it's Jackie. We talk about sex on Tuesdays. And we try to bang daddies on Thursdays. And it's been horny. Come hang out. Hell yeah, dude. Check me out, Hold Nader's Ho on Twitch. Twitch.

Twitch.com. slash hold naters ho. Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. The stream with Jackie on Fridays 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Get it in your dog's mouth. Also check out page 7podcast at gmail.com. I can't, I can't stress it enough. Send in your conspiracy theories. Send in your blind items. Send all the love, everything. It's all red. It's all great. And we really appreciate it. Again, that's page 7podcast.g.com. M.J. Take it away. My name is MJ and I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram.

Let's get the heck out of here. Bye guys. See next week. Bye everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.