Page 7 - Ep. 435: Nut 'n Strut

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

This week we’re gossin' 'bout the tragic lives and deaths of groundhogs, the shittiest months of the year and bad birthday timing, A$AP Rocky and Rihanna's coming spawn, MJ’s Post Noro Glow, the cycle of love bombing Julia Fox has become entangled in, Kanye’s Hellish Rebuke of NFTs (but ask him later), Justin Bieber paying 3x the price for a monkey JPEG, Sean Penn needs to take a walk, Minnie Mouse dons a power suit, 58 year old Nic Cage FINALLY comes out as a GOTH, Nick Cannon's (potentially) creepy ass childrearing fetish and in celeb conspiracy corner; Is Alexa Demie, from Euphoria, actually in her th-th-th-thirties!??! Also, a truly inspiring list, blinds and the shoutz! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to Last Podcastmerch.com to order yours today. campers rise and shine and don't forget your boots because it's cold out there today it's cold out there every day and they're so young and we don't know warm out until

is it the same is this year the same as last year is the same as the year before six more weeks of winter is everybody frowning blame the fucking Phil it's Phil

fault that we're all frowning. It has nothing to do with the pandemic. It has nothing to do with the country imploding. It's all because of Phil. There you go. Where's Cuomo when you need him? Oh, yeah, yeah. Didn't he murder the groundhog one time or whatever? De Blasio murdered one one. Now you've got me Googling fucking dead Groundhog 2020. There was another one died. Another one died yesterday right before the big grand reveal of never smiling again. Who was it? Miltown Mel. Jersey Tony.

He is from Jersey. Miltown Mel. Middown Mel. Then his name is Miletown Mel. Very sad too because everyone knows his dark backstory. He was recovered from heroin. He had one point he was selling his body, you know, just to get his next hit. And he came clean, lived many years as a groundhog professionally.

and then was gunned down by the police, which is just a sad. That's not what happened. It's unbelievable. That's not happened. Horrible turn of events. Yeah, there's two assassinations of two different ground hugs. One by the mayor, one by the New Jersey.

State police, I assume. State police. They mistook him for a protester. Yeah, it was horrible. That's what happens. He wouldn't get out of the hole. He wouldn't tell everybody, and they had to show him who was boss. There is a book called

Milltown Mel a Groundhog story in case you guys were wondering if you want to make sure... You want to have a cry? Yeah, have a cry. Think about the dead groundhog. He wasn't able to tell us how shrouded in continued darkness of winter that we will be. It's going to be such a fucking weird one. Look for everybody to page seven.

You guys ready for this energy? I feel like I'm in a hostage situation. Jackie hasn't gone to my head right now. No, no, not me. We are in a clue. I'm pretty sure that everyone is having a weird one and a bad one, not just us. So we are trying to vibe with everyone's energy. We just finished the shittiest month of the year.

We're now in the second shittiest month of the year. Yeah, yeah, for sure. How's that? month, I'm sorry, MJ. Yeah, it's very sad. Very sad to have a winter. Is it always sad, though? Is it all, like, or do you always feel that February is a rough time do have been better?

Better than the 28th. I was going to say. It's better than Holden's. It's significantly. It's definitely. It's December. Better right between Christmas and New Year's because then your birthday just doesn't exist. At least you can be like, hey, it's cold outside.

Everybody wants to die. No one's happy. Everyone wants to fucking bash their brains to a brick wall until it just explodes onto the onto the wall and then someone, an old woman into the corner throwing up up, looking at this, your whole head splattered against a brick wall in the snow. Yeah.

I can't, I just saw the devil's work. You know what I mean? I just puke all over. And now we're here to celebrate MJ. But instead, yeah, exactly. But then you could say, hey, I have like a bright, fun thing we can do in the midst of all of that. You know what I mean?

And that's really nice. So it's good. People get an excuse to go celebrate. At one time, yes, Holden, at one time, yes, my birthday was a nice time to celebrate together indoors in the winter with friends. It was like the time of the winter when everyone's fucking done. And usually that led to me having a really great birthday party. I love you. You threw great birthday parties.

I will always say that. Like we, it was like a good. And I do feel for, Holden has the worst birthday for sure. Any January birthday also rough. I definitely remember like trekking to one of Marcus's birthday parties in the freezing fucking cold in mid-January and being like me. And Marcus is on top of it. Marcus's birthday is January 19th. They always remember because it is not only the saddest day of the year, but also the day that has the highest rates of suicide.

And I think that it really, I like to remind him of that every year on his birthday. And it's the day before inauguration day, which meant that he had like an extra sad one in 2016. And so, yeah, so then in February, mid-February is usually, it's an okay time to have a birthday because of gathering and Doris with your friends. Did not do that last year. And I don't know. This, you know, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for my birthday this year, but it is, you know, it's the, it is the dark. It's always darkest before the dawn. Yeah.

And we are, it is very dark right now. And so. The dog must be coming. Good Lord. Well, either way, it's with some fun celebrity news this week, am I right? Bebo, booby-bo-bo-pap-oo-dee. You can send them to my umbrella. My baby.

Under my preggie, belly, belly, belly. She's pregnant. So we were talking about this right before we started recording. Rihanna is pregnant with AZap Rocky's baby. I think that it is delightful, but it is crazy that we did a pop history episode on Rihanna, and Holden and I were discussing that, I mean, her fans are rabid and very protective of her, which I completely understand, especially with what has gone on in her past very publicly. So they are very protective of her, and I get it.

But at the same time, she's one of those people that constantly, people are 20 feet up her ass of like, Where's the next album? Where's the next album? And she's constantly being like, I am a multi-millionaire business mogul right now. I am building my empire. Can you fucking cool it for a second? Now her I'm like,

oh, so she can't make an album, but she can make a baby? Yeah. She knew what the fuck she wants? She's a boss-ass bit. Yeah. Yeah. People, that's the thing.

Like I am very happy for Rihanna. I think her debuting her belly that way was really cool and great. It seemed like the internet was consumed by discussing Rihanna and Drake. I mean, I was going to say for some reason. I know the reason. But it just seemed like it was very large news. And I was buried in a giant pile of puke because my family all had norovirus. You can't catch a break.

It's just one thing. I mean, I will say, like, you're really getting it all, getting all the toxins out of your body. And also, you win for worst one. Like, you definitely have had it way worse, I think, than us. So, like, that's kind of something, there's something noble in that. I am hoping. Yeah, I front-loaded, I'm hoping I front-loaded all the shit into, literally into January. And the rest of 22.

I mean, it's good to move, but still, like, moving that, like, all together. COVID moving. And yeah, and I was like, wow, COVID had moving in one month. And then before we hit the 31st, fate or God or whoever was like, the norovirus. That wasn't on a cruise. That was like two weeks after I literally heard you say exactly like this, it never ends. And then it didn't end. It did not end.

It kept going. The thing about norovirus is I couldn't even do any of my funny tweets about it because I kept wanting to tweet like Operation Warp Speed but for norovirus. But I didn't want to make light of the fact that COVID is actually very bad and sad and scary. And we have all spent the last two years of our lives restructuring everything about our daily lives around it for a reason. But when you've got norovirus and you read about it, you're like, first of all, it's called in the UK the winter vomiting disease, which I think is hilarious. Call it the winter vomiting disease.

I'd rather do that of just like, let me know what I've got. myself into. It's extremely contagious. It's fucking fomite. So it surfaces. It's so contagious. And it's it's a wild virus. And as you're experiencing it, you're like, why doesn't, why hasn't the best minds of our generation come together to stop this? The way that we, you know, we got a fucking coronavirus vaccine in like 19 months. Where is the norovirus vaccine? But I couldn't even make these jokes that didn't want to make light of this terrible fucking other. virus that we are living with, and I know it's very sad and scary and continues to be very sad and scary, but while you are puking your guts out, you really think, this is very bad.

This is a very bad virus. But then it's over, and then you're fine. I will say, you look great, you are shining right now. So I think that that's great. The cleanse is working. The post-noro glow. I will also say, going back to Rihanna's situation with the album, all of the blinds essentially say maybe it's from all the smoking and everything, but all the blinds generally tend to just say

that she'd been working on new album. Her voice just isn't what it was. And if that is true, I will say, though, good on her for being discerning, deciding that, you know, she doesn't want to put out a subpar product. And maybe she'll get there eventually. But I love that she doesn't feel forced to put something out just because people constantly screact. at her. It's really annoying and like the same thing I don't feel as bad for yay, yay, yeah, but you know it's got to be, it's annoying like everything

you ever tweet, every comment underneath it is, where's the album? That's so obnoxious. So like, um, you know, fuck yourself. Yeah, especially when it comes with that stuff. I will say do really like the Drake memes about Drake imprinting on resume inside of

Rihanna's body. which is resume is what Holden calls Renesme, which is the child bride. Yeah, I'm saying it, of Jacob the shapeshifter in Twilight. This is an extreme over on page seven Jackie's book club. I was with you. I even knew exactly what you were talking about, and I still was like, man, you lost me. Also, I will say I didn't go with this blind, but I just want to throw it out there that Drake dated Julia Fox. and apparently also showered her with like tons of gifts like Birken bags.

We are referring to the love bombed billionaire dating Julia Fox, who is currently dating. Yeo. Yee-ya. Ye-ha. Yeah. So what is up with this girl, man? She just gets all these people to give her a bunch of stuff.

I don't even think it's love bomb anymore. It's just how she dates. Yeah, I think that she's just open and wanting it. You know what? I guess at that point, you can't be nervous for her. If, like, that's what she is kind of, like, she's asking for it. And not just like, oh, she's asking for it because of, like, how she acts. Like, no, it seems like this woman is asking for it.

Literally. It's like whatever, the place that, like, wherever you launch bombs to practice, bombs, is like a field that catches the bomb. She's like, I want your love bombing. Love bomb, break. Yee. Yay. All of it.

Gimm's. I also. do appreciate Yeh's post about NFTs. He wrote it on a piece of paper. It took a picture of it posted on his script, just to even more so be like, I work with real material. He wrote, my focus is on building real products

in the real world, real food, real clothes, real shelter. Do not ask me to do a fucking NFT, yay. Ask me later, though. It says at the bottom, but then also, and then in the caption, it says, stop asking me to do NFTs. I'm not going to co-sign. For now, I'm not on that wave.

I make music and product. in the real world. So I thought that was kind of fun. When he's right, he's right. Yeah, you know. And when he's wrong, ooh, he's so wrong. Very, very wrong. He's gleefully wrong.

He's just so wrong. Like that speech at the end of S&L, he did. Remember that? No. No. He had to, like, sneak off. That's my favorite with Jay, too. He, like, walked off stage, like, right as he started to go in

on, like, his love for Trump and stuff at the end of that SNL performance. Get him off stage. But don't worry. we've got other people that are paying lots of money for different NFTs, and that would include Justin Bieber, who purchased the Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT for $1.29 million. And so it's kind of the, I mean, I'm not saying that Yay is buying NFTs in his spare time,

but he's just not creating NFTs. Now, I have seen the picture of this NFT everywhere, but now... Well, the board ape is the thing. Right? That's the big one that everyone's kind of getting as a big status symbol. What I love about this, though, and I need to know why, he's paid like way more money. He paid 300% above the valued price to get this thing. When money means nothing to you, I guess why not? But like-

But why? Why would you pay that much money? He paid so much money. This episode is like a-2-9 million. It's like a where are they now of like people who were making very good money. music a decade ago. It's like Kanye, Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Drake, maybe Justin Bieber and Drake. It's like a high school reunion of pop people icons. Like, yeah, one's pregnant, one spent like we got really into

NFTs as being all weird about crypto. And then another one's just, you know, I guess, I don't know, still making music at least. I guess Kanye's got new music coming out apparently soon. Yeah, no, very soon. He said there's another album. dropping fairly soon, but speaking of other people that people used to enjoy and now I wish would go silently into that good night. Sean Penn feels American men have become

quite feminized because of cowardly jeans. I don't... It's just... It's one of these things where I'm like, man, why say why? Who gives a fuck of... Number one about what you think.

Number two, about the fact that this is blasted everywhere because because it is like a hot ticket, horrendous, disgusting thing to say. But also, Sean Penn, you are not a good person, and I'm mad that you're in the headlines. Isn't this his thing that he's just like, I am a famous domestic abuser and I won't let it stop me. I won't let it stop me from being a successful actor and I won't even let it stop me from being a misogynist. Yeah, it's such a classic, like, just take my first. phone away from me when I get, how old is he, when you get after 60, I think.

Yeah. You should, I literally think you should, they should funnel you into an old person version of social media. It'll be called like, you know, like, I don't know, like home. I think that's specifically for celebrities, though, because I feel like not everyone would be like, oh, I got a really hot, fresh, horrible take. Let me get to the internet because if you're a nobody. going to be racist the second I turn 60.

It's going to happen. Oh, that's when the... I just know it deep in my soul. It's going to happen and you're going to have to lock me up. We got 20-something good more years of working together than Holden. And then I will write you off. Yeah, you please. I'm telling you right now to do it.

I'm taking away. Take all of it away. You know what I mean? I wish I could set a thing in my phone like, oh, did you turn 60 at midnight on December, you know, December 28? And then it just all shut. It just all of it gets removed. You know what I mean?

Sean Penn's comments specifically were incomprehensible. He was like, you know, it's fine to be feminine and it's fine for men to have feelings, but it's bad that they are becoming women to show their feelings and they're taking off their pants and putting on a skirt. And it's just like, bro, what are you talking about? Is this like a Harry Stiles reference? Yeah, he definitely does not like Harry Stiles. Yeah, I think he's just like, I think he's probably, he saw a picture of Harry Stiles. and he was like, I don't like that.

Where's my fault? That's not my vibe. Yeah. I want to have sex with that. That's not a... That's the thing. Right. It does seem like he's a little confused, but it's just seemed like a specific Harry

Stiles reference. I wish that more men were wearing skirts, but right now they're not. It's really just Harry Stiles in terms of being a very high profile, you know, in terms of who Sean Penn is talking about, it's got to be Harry Styles. Maybe he saw an episode of Queer Eye or something. Or like Jaden Smith or maybe it's like one of those. kind of things of like maybe he's just seeing other people like especially with like their very like the celebrity offspring and how they are are being able to be open and themselves.

But also Sean Penn, what the fuck does it matter to you? What other people where? It doesn't, you're not asking you to do it, you old idiot to get out of here. I wish Charlize their own had put him into a fucking grave. I'll say it. I wouldn't support it. I would have been one of the people outside paying for her bail. The thoughts of the opinions of Jagging Zabrowski do not reflect those of Last Podcast Network.

He doesn't even know what he's mad about. Is he mad about a skirt or is he mad that men, is he mad that in general? Because he's, I think he's trying to say that. Well, the problem is, is we don't see the dumb, like, memes that he sees in his old man, like, Facebook group or whatever it is that he's in. The sharing of information is so idiotic with these people that they just get in one lane and they think the whole world's a sort of way. It's like, bro, there's so many dude-ass dudes out there. Like, who gives a fuck?

You know what I mean? It's like there's this mass, you know, gravitation towards like all men becoming feminized. It's not like there's people out. I don't think. I don't see anywhere where people are like, men need, you know, we need, they must be wearing dresses now. You know what I mean? It's like, no.

Gender is still pretty, like, binary gender norms are still pretty strong, you know? I love the idea that Sean Penn is in the same, like, Facebook groups that everybody's terrible dads are, even though, yeah, totally, he is, though probably. You know what I mean? He probably is, like, or, you know, it's like him and like Clint Eastwood, you know what I mean?

And, like, these types of people. They're on a text link. They're on a text chain. Yeah. And they're, you know, and they're, like, posting these little, you know, look at this guy in Adreno. You know what I mean? They see like an episode of Rupal's Drag Race

and they think that's the world now or something like that. It's like no, but thank God I don't feel like in a dark movie theater, I no longer feel like I have to force myself to not cry for out of some terrible fear of being seen in a way

that I've societally, I previously felt like I shouldn't be seen. I love Rupal's Drag Race. I love, you know, and hey, this season's the first, they have the first straight queen, by the way. And I've thought a lot about what my drag persona what might be. You know what I mean?

So I think it's really cool to see. Sexually frozen, Haldina McNeely? Yeah. Well, I don't know if I'd be sexually frozen, Haldina McNeely. I think I'd be a feisty, you know, I'll be like molestasia or something like that. Ooh.

Oh my God, it would it be like Anastasia and would you also like, dance with Rasputin and you just like do like a whole yeah yeah but to the song I hope you dance oh that would be adorable I hope you I don't know maybe molest age is a bad idea but either way I would do something fun and it'd be exhilarating and uh you know I love that I I have embraced girly as hell pop music you know and and on the other token I think I think I'm not speaking out a turn you know Ed also had to come out as like a Disney lover and felt like he had to hide that about himself for a really long time

as a guy that loves. Like what is the like what you like? Masculinity is a fucking prison, man. It's great that people are busting out of it. Yeah, I agree, bro. Gender is a prison. Yeah, right. And obviously, I love masculinity.

But it's like the expectations of masculinity. And this is why it's so funny with Sean Penn because he doesn't know what he's mad about. Is he mad that men are showing more emotion because that's where he starts. Yeah. But then he lands on and they're wearing skirts. And that's just two totally fucking different things.

Like, are you, like, I don't even know how emotionally intelligent Harry Styles is probably pretty emotionally intelligent based on how we seem. But like, they're actually not related, right? Like, like all that they're related in the sense that you are like,

you're talking about holding. You're like creating space for men to be people in ways that, that, you know, are, are more open and more vulnerable and, you know, just more diverse than what they all,

than what boys are raised thinking their options are. Oh, and they're all pretending, bro. They're all fucking pretending. I mean, at least if it's, if I have any perspective from being a guy, we're all, if we're ever like not crying at a really sad movie or, or acting all fucking tough and stuff,

like a fraction of that is totally like, just scared for tent going on. You know what I mean? I mean, some dudes are just full to the balls of the wall testosterone. Like totally. I get it. Like some dudes really are just full on. But the weird dumb shit we have around showing emotion, which is like insane that

that's even considered feminine. Yeah. Like what even the fuck is that? Like showing emotion? Are you kidding? I'm gonna kill them all. I'm to line them up and I'm gonna take them all now. Look at that.

Ooh, masculine man. Wow. Ooh, I like that. Honestly, even what you were talking about, it does make me think of Rihanna and how Rihanna opened up her line and is making lingerie shaped for people that have mask bodies as well.

Sure. And I think that, like, it's like things like that that I feel like directly that Sean Penn are like, how dare you? When it's like, lingerie also isn't genderized. doesn't, don't, don't people want to feel sexy? Don't people want to have something on that makes them feel really good about themselves? And what she's making isn't like, oh, that's where the titty should go.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You got titty. So it's like, no, it is made for your body and what you're working with. Also, outside of the, like, wondering what my drag person would be, the part of me that feels feminine or or that enjoys, like, that, that, side of me has nothing to do with like a dress or a skirt you know what I mean it's the funny it's like it's okay and it's like the way I feel listening to like T Swift and and you know sing about like being in a relationship in her 20s and I like vibe that's the thing it's like to conflate like showing emotion with literal women's clothes you know it's so funny it just shows us

how like dumb and just confused the whole thing is you know that I again had to feel like I couldn't cry in a dark movie theater. Yeah. As somehow that makes me a woman-like and be bad for being woman-like, too. Which is like both of those things are just not true and stupid. You know what I mean? No, I want to see what Sean Penn has to say about Minnie Mouse starting to wear a pants suit. Because, oh my God, what is John?

I'd be like, oh, what is it, Mickey? I don't know what this mouse is anymore. Have you guys seen that now Minnie Mouse one of her new outfits? that she has a power pants suit. Oh my God. Great. Was this in the links, Jackie? I wasn't prepared for this.

Oh, I didn't include it because I was more of just like a, I didn't want it to go down a road of like, then we also have to say like, because she's allowed to wear pants. Like, I don't give a shit what Minnie Mouse wears. Mini Mouse, where the fuck you want? You want a Donald duck it and you put your mini pussy out into the air to give it some breathing room? Great. I don't know what happens down. under there, but I say God bless it.

I think that Minnie, you wear, whatever the fuck you want to wear. But yeah, so that's the new thing that also, like, in the same realm of the M&Ms that people are like, and again, I don't know if this is just because I am from Florida and because my mom has talked to me a lot about the Mickey and the Pansom because it's all over the news. Really? Like it was because it's a Disney place, and it's filled with conservatives. By the way, the same people, and I said this, I didn't get this myself, I think I saw this on Reddit, but it's so true. The same people who flipped out about, you know, the whole performance

with Megan the Stallion and Cardi B at that, you know, do over-sexualized performance at the award show and, and that whole song and everything, are the same people who are freaking out about a-m-and-m not being fuckable. And it is so a-hypochidical and be ridiculous, absurd. It's so funny. Like, you're, like, upset about real women showing their sexuality, but, like, you're also upset that this, like, Eminem. Isn't making your boner hard? Making your fucking dick hard. Like, how weird is your dick right now, bro?

You need to look at your dick right now, dude, and ask some real questions. How funky is yo dickin? How funky is yo dickin? I've been having that song. I'm just looking at Gloria right now. They want their dick to be excited about the creed M&M, but they don't. want their dick to be excited about Megan the Stallion and Cardi B. And their dicks were excited.

Their dicks were excited about that and they didn't like that. And then their dicks were no longer excited because the Eminem wasn't wearing her sexy boots. And then Lil Nas X don't even get them started on how they had to feel about that. Their penies are all hard and they're like, right. I guess we should have mentioned Lil Nas X before in terms of men wearing dresses. He's just right up there with Harry Styles. But yeah, I think that I, let's,

as Sean Penn if Harry Stiles and Lil Nas X are giving him some boners that he's confused about. And I think that's probably what's going. It's not always what's going on. You know, a lot of, I think, I think there was like a tendency in like the aughts of like if somebody was homophobic to be like, well, it's because there's so many closeted conservative homophobes to be like, well, if somebody's homophobic, it's definitely because they're closeted or whatever. And I think, but so you don't want to be done that too much. just a piece of shit. Yeah, that's right. Very talented piece of shit. I don't think it's necessarily that Sean Penn is like really sexually confused by men and dresses when he sees them. But let's not rule out that I think that one of the reasons why gender norms being blurred

upsets people is because it does confuse them sexually sometimes. And I think people get very scared by that, you know. Yeah. Then go take a walk, Sean Penn. You know, not everybody could be. Nick Cage. And not everybody can finally, at the ripe old age of, I don't know, 50s, 58-year-old Nick Cage, who has finally come out and said, I am a got goth. Good for him. The goth world is rejoicing. Yeah, Nick Cage, we know you're a gaug.

Look at you. Remember when you got kicked out of Vegas? But when you were getting kicked out of Vegas, you were wearing a full matching leopard print suit with no shoes on like a big purple belt on, yeah, you looked fucking great. Yeah, I literally thought, when I first saw him, I was like, oh, wow, it's a talking gargoyle. No. And then he, you know, this is a human man. Are you calling me a gargoyle person right now?

Do Goss claim Nick Cage as their own in the goth community? Is he already kind of seen as a goth icon? Vampires Kiss, babe. Yeah, Vampires Kiss, iconic. It is, you know, it is such a great iconic movie of, I think that he has been of the world in the same way that I did include. which I did not ask you guys to read through, but there's all these little known facts about Nick Cage

where everything about Nick Cage is so very funnally goth that it's like, yeah, you don't need to, it's like you have a crow. You don't need, like as a pet. You don't need to tell us that you're a cop. You've bought multiple dinosaur skulls. You don't need to tell us that you're a goth. These examples are so helpful because I was about to be like,

I mean, a goth to me is like, I know it when I see it, but I don't know if I could tell you, here are 10 things that define what is goth. Like, that's not my community. I don't want to speak for that. You know what it is? I feel that I am speaking out of turn. I feel that he is more a part of the Satanist community with how he lives his life. And I think that's why I immediately, like, of course, the fact that it's like,

yeah, he bought a $300,000 dinosaur skull, a rare albino king cobra, an octopus, multiple castles and two entire islands. And part of the principle is of living a life where you are as grand as you feel that you are to be able to build your power. And I mean, he's bought, like, been in and out of, like, close to bankruptcy multiple times in his life. But man, you can't say he ain't living large.

Yeah, can't call me bankrupt when I got two islands. No. I also forgot about the pyramid gravestone that exists in a New Orleans cemetery. For him? Yeah, yeah. I visited it when I went to New Orleans. He has a, yeah, have you haven't looked up Nick Cage's grave plot? No, it's like his pre-gravestone is ready for him.

Oh, yeah. I think I've told this story on this podcast, but maybe I haven't. Okay, so the other big factoid about him is for a little while he lived in the crazy-ass, haunted-as-fuck. spot in New Orleans that was a season of American Horror Story was based on it. This woman was like a slave owner and she would throw a lot of parties and stuff like that. Oh, I'm getting sound on this. Madam Lollari, though, is the name of the place. She would do like horrifying experiments on the people she owned in the attic while she was

throwing very fancy dinner parties for like the elite of New Orleans. Orleans. She's like a horrible monster. He lived there for a while. The story I was told on the ghost store, which I feel like must have been embellished, but I'll just tell it the same. He kept seeing like crowds of people kind of stopping in front of his house, his apartment, town home, whatever it was. And he was like, what the fuck is this? And he thought it was like a celebrity tour. And then he like put on a disguise and went on the tour and was horrified to find out all that horrible shit that was going on in his house. And then, And also around the same time, he just was terrible.

He was cursed. It was just like everything was going badly for him. Ghost Rider came out around that time. Horrible, you know, terrible career stuff, relationship stuff. So the lady on the tour said, well, when you are in this situation in New Orleans, you do what everyone does. He went to a voodoo priestess. And she said to get rid of the curse, he was going to need to get a plot in the specific New Orleans. cemetery where this other famous fuck what's her name other famous um voodoo priestess is buried and then also

um you can't film in the cemetery or take any pictures or no no you just can't film in the cemetery because that's the cemetery where the guys where they dropped acid and filmed easy rider yes yeah yeah yeah yeah so they like since then they made a thing where they couldn't be because remember the he like lays in the statue of the virgin mary and stuff like that um so he just has this like pyramid grave plot and it says Nick Cage on it and that's where he has to be buried when he dies.

To remove the curse, yeah, I think he's goth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You might be, he might be a little gong. Yeah, it's the Jeff Foxworthy. He might be a little bit. Do you live in a castle and own a crow? You might be a little guy.

You know? I'm trying to, wait, oh wait, Is this from Vampire's Kiss? Man, so I'm reading through these the little known facts about Nick Cage and I did not know this. And in Vampire's Kiss, in order to get himself excited for a love scene,

Cage allegedly asked to have hot yogurt poured all over his toes. How do you feel about that, Holden? Comey, Camille Toes, do you want Cammy Toes? The image is disgusting. As you know, I go full naked, just socks when I make love to my wife. I know it.

No, you're a never nude. We all know you're a never nude. I know this, but it's always a shot. No, no, no, that actually grosses me out that I get fully naked for love making. Oh, you do get fully naked. Oh, yeah, I don't. Just socks is grosser to me than like your shitty flip-flop thing. No, no, no, no.

I thought that you were, I thought you were a never nude meeting than you would just put, I'm not saying that you like, you only have socks on. I'm saying, like, you keep a shirt on. Do you keep, you know? Oh, definitely not during sex. I usually get completely naked. See, this is what we are here to find out today. This is the information I want to know.

And I sing my little song. I sing my song, I'm making love to my wifey wifey wife. I'm making love to my wife. With my socks off. That's how much I like her. Yeah. But nothing grosses me out more than like a guy Donald ducking it with like socks on. Like just a shirt and like.

I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, but there's a guy walking around with a shirt and socks. Just a shirt in a fucking weird, hard dick. It depends on, there's something about, though, like, seeing my partner, yeah, I'm saying it, Jeff, seeing my partner walk around just with socks on and underpants, like boxer briefs on. Yeah, okay, that's different. We'll get me going, though.

That I'm just like, ooh. Once the boxers come off, though, the socks have to go off, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, the socks come off. No, no. There's something about that. It's when he's getting dressed to go. to work that then I want. I'm like, but why I put the rest of the clothes on?

He's like, please, I need to get to work. And I'm like, give me, give me, give me, give me. And I grab on his butts while he tries to put his pants on. Yeah, Jeff, I said it live in front of everybody. I grab his butts while he tries to put his pants on. So I think that he is a goth. I think Nick Cage is a goth. Yeah, but also, now that we're talking about sexy time, I agree with you, Jackie.

Nick Cannon, what is your malfunction, bro? I just, you know, I almost. You can't express to me out, man. Because I'm trying to not, you know, I would never, I need to say this up top. I am not shaming Nick Cannon for having many children. No. I'm not shaming Nick Cannon for having many children with multiple different people. It is your, it is your choice.

It is like the person's choice of which you are having a child with. I completely understand. However, he said publicly over and over again because he had, Yeah, so was it four children with three women in under a year? One year. That's insane. And it's not only that that happened. I am shaming him.

That's crazy. It's the way he talks about it. He talks about it like that's his fucking thing. Like that's his turn on. Like I have to just sew my seed. It just creeps me out. Yeah, guys, guys who get all crazy about pregging up is very, very bizarre to me as well. Yeah, it's like I would never shame anybody.

for, it's not a question of like promiscuity or whatever the fuck. It's not about respect. But the phrase is like, God damn, girl, you're so fucking hot. I just want to put a baby in you. It's like so weird. And the way that he said, he was like, two different things. Only the people who were supposed to get pregnant got pregnant. It just has like a.

I love. I don't have no accidents. Trust me, there's a lot of people that I could have gotten pregnant that I did it, which is like even, you're such a dirty dog, dude. And it's weird for him to say that. You're just raw dog and all these women, bro. Oh, that's like crazy to say, and that would, in under a year? So you're saying, you got three, you got, wait, you put four kids and three women in

under a year. And then also you're like, yeah, and guess what else? I also could have definite, I raw dogs like 20 more chicks that year. It could have, to talk about it like it's his choice who gets pregnant. Which is disgusting. Yes. No, it's God's choice. It could have been, oh, I could have done it with more women, but it's only the ones who I wanted

to get. It's like really weirdly godlike and I like hate to even bring it up, but it is just so he had like a tragic loss of a child earlier this year like not like a month ago. And that is incredibly sad, but the way he handled it on his TV show was insane. Weird and we didn't talk about it on the show because it was like too sad to even talk about but he like was on his show. He brought up a little bit because it was unbelievable. Did we?

I know we talked about it the three of us. I couldn't remember if we did it, recording but I was just like this is this this this horrible sad devastating the worst thing that could ever happen to a parent and he went on his own talk show that Monday and he didn't even tell the audience that that was what so he's talking telling a story about a baby showing baby pictures and then the audience is going ooh ah and then he like tell he reveals that you know that this horrible tragedy to his family in the audience is just like oh and it's like yeah go be with your go be with the woman who

Whose mother was the mother to this baby? Oh my God! And now he's now like out there brag about how he gets so many women pregnant, a different woman, a month later after this horrible loss with a different... I'm just like, what is going on here? This is... I feel, right, I'm not trying to shame you about your sexuality, your sexualness. Not your sexuality, but your immense sexualness.

But like, this is so... it feels like a thing where he like has to get a woman pregnant to control. I don't know. It just as red flags. Lots of red flags. There's a lot of red flags because especially so this all came. So it was five months old a month ago. Passed because of brain cancer.

He was very open. We all thought that it was very yucky. He was very open about being. He's like there's all this stuff is going on. I'm celipate until 2022. I am completely celibate. my therapist and I decided that I need to be celibate. Cut to a month later and his new girlfriend saying that she is pregnant with his eighth child.

And he's like, oh, yeah, I almost was celibate. There's also on top of the fact of like, you are, you are supposed to be a, you are a celebrity that's being very open with what you are going through. I think that that is good. I think transparency and communication about your feelings is important. But you lying about your journey of like, yes, I've been talking with it. And he, like, had said this multiple times of how he is celibate now. And then it was like a boopsie moopsie. But again, not only is he not being celibate, but he's just full on ejaculating.

That's the thing. You don't have to be celibate in order to not like that. babies. Holy Lord, bro. To fuck without making a baby. There are many options to explore. It is wild. What are the, like, it's, I just want to know, I just have so many questions.

Yeah, yeah. Like, what conversations is he having with the people he's sleeping with about this? Is it just like, you know, my thing is to just fuck and get as many people pregnant as possible, you down? And they're like, yeah, you're Nick Cannon, sure. Right. Again, if so, fine. He seems to be taken care of. all of his kids' lives and taking care of, you know, whatever.

If he's a present loving dad, I guess to each his own. How present can you be with three different women? And you, and that's the same in all of the mothers of your children. And then Mariah Carey also has two of his short words. Like, that's really it. You literally cannot, like, financially, hopefully he's taken care of all of them. I'm sure he makes lots of money. But how can you be a present parent in this?

And, like, is it, I mean, I have a. I do not know this person. I cannot speak for him. But is it the woman who is having the child's choice? Or is he not really giving them much of a choice? Because he does, he's very open with the fact that he wants a lot of children. And it does work. That's also very worrisome that I could imagine maybe a reason why someone would not have

multiple children with him is maybe they did it. want to continue in their relationship, right? It's just, it is a, I was thinking about this with Rihanna, and whenever a celebrity has a baby, ever since I had a baby, I'm always just like, how much work of it do they do? I'm just so, and I'm not, it's not even an accusation. I just really want to know, like, how much of the, of the daily, endless work of it do they do?

And, and I think the answer is, you know, not as much as regular people do, but, you know, probably, obviously, celebrities like love their kids and care for them and whatnot but with nick cannon i'm just like what is being a father to you is it like seeing the kids like once every dude what is it because how can you keep up there's so much to you know what's the draw yeah because for me it's like i've got one i my big fat fucking maybe on a second one right i'm already kind of like maybe i'll just put it all my eggs on this one baby baths. This one egg.

On this one egg. Right? And just put all the focus there because I'm so worried about even splitting my focus on two and a career and, you know what I mean, makes me be like, I don't even know if I can. So to be like just different women, all over, they can't all be living the same coldest ass. Yeah.

That's like a big love situation. Not a sister wife saying. Cody Brown. That would be great. Honestly, like, again, like I think I've been. always, if it wasn't for me having to be the pregnant one, I would definitely have more kids. I think it sounds great. Having a village, having, even, you know, big love style, having like a lot of different adults who care for the kids, ideal. Make a village. Nick Cannon building his own

village. For that, I guess I got a hand it to him. But everything else, I'm not going to hand to him. I think it's weird. I think it's too much. I, yeah, I think, you know, even the part, it's like, okay, does he just, is he just obsessed with impregnating women? And that's why he does this. Or is he, because I don't get this movie, they're like, they have to fucking full nut inside. You know what I mean? They can't just like. It's got to be something else.

It can't. It's because I don't understand. It's enjoyable, but it's not that enjoyable. It's not 18 years worth of kid enjoyable. Yeah, it's not fucking, you know what I mean? It's just kind of insane. That part two is weird to me where it's like, no, no, no, I got to do the whole thing in there. That doesn't count.

moment outside in fresh air. I got to get all of it has to happen in there. It is a weird move for me as well. I'm like, just like, what do you mean? It's weird. I honestly feel for him so much because of what happened to him and his child. Like I feel, and I will always will and I will not be able to read a story about Nick Han without thinking about that. But this thing about where he's just bragging two months after losing a child and he's just bragging about how much he's just bragging about how much he.

nuts in how many different women. How many women he could have impregnated. Which, by the way, means he finished in these women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Within the course of a few, at least a few years, probably, or most, you know what I mean? What conversations is he having with that? Did they say, is, are you on birth control?

Do you want to have a baby or is it just, like, I just want to know more. Can I not inside of you? These are the questions then that should be discussed. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yes, I need to know more. None of these people are on birth control.

Yeah, that's okay. None of them are on hormonal birth control or have an IUD, anything? Any, what? Are they all just like, yeah, man, I'll, I'll raise Nick Cannon's baby. If so, I guess, good for them. I mean, I guess that's why they call him Nick Cannon, huh? He's got a fucking squirrel over there with that nut. All right, let me get this.

Let's move on. It is time for the share. Hit me. Do you believe it? Is Alexa Dimmie from Euphoria Actually in her Tha, Thu-Thut-Thurte-Thirties? Oh my God, I would say put her in the ground

She's already dead, line them up and take them out Take them out if she is over 30 I mean, I can't believe I'm still alive I'm waiting for the grim room for every second of every day That's the weirdest episode every movie be like, what the fuck happened? These fucking phone cases.

I'm so upset that Rihanna's two years younger than me. Fuck off. Fuck off. All right. This is a fun one, though. This is from Meg. I cannot recall if you have done this conspiracy already, but it's one of my favorites,

so I thought I would email it in. Okay. Also, I will say real quick, this is Maddie from Euphoria in case you guys are not aware. The, like, psycho. Very, very talented actress. They, like, are very intimidating. A very talented, old actress.

Yeah, old, I guess, very old. So she had a lot of time to get some training. She's in her old as fuck 30s. I have never seen, even Rihanna doesn't, I'm looking at pictures of her. I don't think that you can fake this kind of. But please, but please change my mind. Please change my mind. So in September of 2019, a New York Times article stated Alexa Dimmie was 24 years old,

but many fans have speculated that she's actually in her 30s. The evidence that supports this theory is as follows. In 2013, she was in Azalia Banks' music video. Depending on when her birthday is, she would have been 17, 18 at the time of the filming, which isn't too far-fetched, but, like, teenagers are dumb and I wouldn't work with them. Wow.

Shade. Her birthday isn't on her Wikipedia page. She has never confirmed her odds. And that's my weird way of saying age. I literally had just opened up her Wikipedia page, and this is correct. It is not here. Fact finder Jackie. The killer is that a week ago, someone on Twitter dug up an alumni list for her high school

that said she graduated in 2008, which means she would be turning 32 this year. Ew. Gross. I don't even want to look at her if she's that old. I hate it. What is it the cryptkeeper, euphoria version? Yeah, this would be the first time that an old person. and ever played a high school or on television.

Never happened before. 32. Give her a walking cane. Luke Perry over here. Good Lord. I guess I have to believe it. The evidence that contradicts this theory literally just that,

2019 New York Times article. I don't know about y'all, but I hope this is true because, like, good for her. Love y'all and love the show. Peace and love, Meg. Thank you so much, Meg. But also, disgusting. I'm going to take a shower after this,

not just because I was playing Street Fighter earlier and made me profusely sweaty because that's what happens to be when I play Street Fighter, which is said. Yeah, I get it. But also because I, 32, it's like, you might as well be at the Dinosaur Museum as an exhibit. Oh, she's the queen of the Dinosaur Museum.

I will say euphoria.fandum.com. Elixademi says that her birthday to December 11th, 1990, which would make her 31 years old. Whoa. I will say, you know, It's times like this when you bring up Brianna, MJ, where I look at someone that, like, if she is three years younger than I am, I've never looked that good. So it's like, I can't even compare myself to this.

I can't be like, oh, my God. When I was 18 at the quote unquote prime of what I was like, I look the worst that I ever had when I'm supposed to be the hottest. I think that's something you and I share that we were not hot at the time that people are. you're supposed to be hot. I wasn't hot until like three years ago. Yeah. I didn't get hot until much, much after the time of,

it's kind of insane. Yeah. When I first met Jackie, I was just like, who is this ogre? You loved me. You loved me. I do remember actually

Henry were just being like, because this is so Henry, right? He was just like, my sister's coming. She's part of the group now, the sketch comedy group murder but she's part of the group.

There's nothing you can do about it. We were just like, what do you talk about? We don't have no this person. What do you mean to the part of the group? Yeah, she's it. She's on it. And that's how we taught you.

And you've never stopped working with me since. One of the first conversations I also had with Henry because Henry knew me with my brother and he was like, my sister's coming to New York soon and she's really funny and you are funny with your brother and we'll all be great friends. And we will be funny together. What happened? There you go.

He forecasted it. Fantastic. Well, thank you, Meg. I'm going to have to say, I believe because we just confirmed that she's turning 32 this year. Yeah, damn. Well, I don't know if that euphoria fandom.com

is right, but maybe it is. I'm pretty sure like... I'm pretty sure like... I'm pretty sure like... I'm pretty sure if it's a website on the internet that it has to be completely. It has to be. There's not too.

All of them for sure. Sean Pinn. So, yeah. But I guess we all believe. FJ., you believe? I believe. That's perfect. timing because it's time for the list.

Oh, who's on the list? It's me. Gotta have that list. 13 surprising real-life inspirations behind the movie characters we love. Ooh. Will Ferrell's Ron Burgundy was inspired by a real-life anchorman. Farrell saw him in a documentary. In his words, at one point, they were talking to this anchor, Mort Crim, who was basically

saying, I was in profanity to her, would mean. me laugh was watching him. He still spoke like this. He still used his on-camera voice. So he used his on-camera voice while talking about fucking random people. And I love that that is what he based it off of. I like could not even look at a picture of Anchorman without laughing. I love it. What a fucking awesome movie. That was one of my favorite movie theater experiences. And unfortunately, like, I watched it with Lexi not too long ago. And it didn't have that same pizzazz that it did in the movie theater opening weekend, man. Like, holy. shit that movie was so fucking funny in the theater.

So, oh my God, I went with Ed, and I think I went with Ed and Henry, and we went to Ed, so I was back when he was just hawking that big sacks of weed, and he had three blunts rolled up. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And we just ripped him down, and I was so out of my mind and had the best time ever. You know what I mean? It was like nutting in a fresh woman.

Oh, so you got a little Nick Cannon with it, did you? But did you get a little Nick Cage gothy with it? When Nick Cage took inspiration from Humphrey Bogart and Into the Spider-Verse. He said, my character's Spider-Man noir. He's really Peter Parker from this 30s. I tried to channel those noir films with Humphrey Bogart and have those kinds of sounds that he might make with James Cackney or Edward G. Robinson, that kind of way of talking. And now that I've read this, it was like, that makes a lot of sense.

And I will say if you haven't seen Enter the Spider-verse and you don't give a fuck about a superhero, I mean, both immediately. It's a great fucking movie. Highly recommend it. There was a really cool little infographic on Reddit that showed all the order, in order, the highest-grossing MCU films.

It's number one. Really? Highest grossing. That's awesome. Think about that. That's Infinity War. In-game. All that shit.

And it's number one, bro. Wow. Crazy. Hell yeah. Well, it's because it's the kind of movie that regardless of what you've seen, you can still have fun with it, that you don't really need to know too much. And I've been watching Jeff play the Miles Morales Spider-Man game as well, which has been a lot of fun to watch him shoot his webs. Yes, because of beautiful Holden McKeelie. I am a PS4 widow.

You're welcome. And it is fun. And thank you, Holden. But did you know that Ted Lassie? was partly based on Robin Williams himself, says Jason Sadekis. Lassau kind of channels Williams and his mentor type roles. The characters rooted in these teachers here and mentors, these Obi-Wan Kenobi types that see more in you than you can see in yourself and that optimism.

I missed Head Lassau and I miss the, I miss a feel-good show in my life and I think that is what I am currently missing. Do you have a feel good show I should watch? I mean, yes, the newest season of Queer Eye is probably gonna be. You honestly, Jackie, I cannot recommend the newest season enough. It is really great. Now, it's a little, because it's a competition show, you know, not all the way feel good, but then we turn to RuPaul's drag race.

The new season is out now. New episodes are coming out weekly, at least season 14, I believe. And again, that is a big source of like, God, I just need to escape this reality and watch these should be testosterone-filled men. Whoa. And then they're all putting their dresses on. Speaking of effeminate men, Brad Pitt's character and once upon a time in Hollywood is based on real life. Tarantino was inspired on stuntman Hal Needham, who was pretty badass.

He did the kind of stunts you'd see in the Fast and the Furies way back in the 19. 1950s and 60s. And last but not least, our bats, which I can't believe we get to call him, our bats now, our bats is Batman, two hours and 47 minutes long. Our bats was inspired by Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. Wow. They said, when I write, I listen to music. And as I was writing the first act, I put on Nirvana's something in the way. That's when it came to me that rather than Bruce Wayne, the Playboy version we've seen before, there's another version who had, and that's where it ends, it just says who had.

I was going to try and figure out what the end of that quote would be, but I'm going to say, possess. It's another version who had. Well, I think the whole thing that is interesting is that, like, he, it's the idea of Batman as that psychopath. Like, what kind of maniac would put on a costume and go beat up, like, hoodlums in the street? Only like a maniac would do that.

So I think it's kind of, this new portrayal is kind of like, the Batman and the role of like, I'm not stuck in here with you, you're stuck in here with me. Like, I'm the psycho, you know. And so I do think that will be interesting. Three hours interesting? We'll see. I'm still going to watch that out of it,

and I think that all of us are. Try not to flick that bean too hard about it. Right, Jackie. I know you're just, I know what you're trying to do with this movie. I know what you're trying to do. Riddle me this, Jackie. How many flicks of the pieces? Slapida, slap it, slap it, slap it, clit.

Unbelievable. Well, I wish I was blind. Oh, items! I can't see them. No, you can. Here we go, blind items. Everyone's talking about it, and everyone's excited about it. Oh, what is it?

I'm going to use some words to describe these blind items, salacious. Irresistible. Oh. I'm going to use a phrase I used last week, carnal lust. Oh, I like that. Audacious. You have a lot of thesauri with you. Euthanasia.

Oh, that's sexy. Okay, dooky, do, do, do, do. I'm not winning whole day. Holder's been talking to a baby. Olum is struggling with only talking to somebody who doesn't talk for a long period of time. Yeah, every morning for four hours. It's starting to show. It's starting to show.

Exactly. Every morning for four hours is just like, I'm just like eating cereal And she's going Oh Godo I'm just like what the fuck Brick is happening I'm like Nick Cage won't quit

Or Nick Cannon won't quit Yeah Can you imagine all the babies Can you imagine having eight children That is that's why I like flipped out about it Other than I just love the energy Of this week's podcast but like On top of that

That's why it makes me so crazy Because first of all I'm like I know you're not actually a part of this. That's the thing. Because I know what it takes, bro. And so I know you're fucking not in it in the right way. And it just so it just makes me insane like the thought of like, because now it's like I

want to drag everyone down with me into this too. So it's like, I need to see you put the work in, bro. That's exactly right. Yes. That's why I like, that's why it was so fucking cathartic to watch Homecoming with Beyonce talking about how hard it was to like have her C-section with her Twitter. and have preeclampsia and stuff because I was just like you not that if you're not the pregnant one you're not putting in the work but like just to like be like you are a celebrity everything

is you can have everything you want anything you want and still it's difficult you had to do this thing that was really hard like it's and it's so there was some feeling of connection I had with her when she was like even your Beyonce and you had preeclampsia too I've said this on the podcast before and then with Nick Cannon it's just like man you just shot your shot and now you got kids running around. Yeah. And what does it mean to you? And you go on your show and talk about how you got a lot of kids and you joke about it and

that's it. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a good rhyme like, nut and gut or whatever. Whatever. He's doing that thing. You know what I mean? That's it.

Yeah, that's it. Holden nut and gut. Well, gut meant leave. Oh, that you would leave. Oh, gotcha. I'm trying to think of some of the rhymes that'd be like leave anyways, though. But that's what he does. Loves him.

Nut and strut. Nut and strut. Nut and strut. Yes. That is why I literally pay you $8,000 a week extra. Oh my God, nutton and strut. Got to earn my keep around here. You earn that key.

Like if I could get just a snappy rhyme phrase every week from you, MJ, continue to earn $1,000. All right, here we go. Lost in the inevitable split between this former A-list actress and her hunky actor husband is that he also has been cheating on her with another actress he once worked with, Very intimately.

All right, say it again? I got no. I thought you had an answer. That's why you groaned like that. Lost in the inevitable split. We have talked about this separation previously. Lost in the inevitable split between his former A-list actress

and her hunky actor husband is that he also has been cheating on her with another actress he once worked with very intimately. Is it Brandon Angelina? No. A more recent conscious uncoupling that has happened that we've actually talked about recently.

Oh, is Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin? Fuck no. You're in nut jail. You're in Nick Kenan's nut jail. You said conscious accompli. I immediately think of Chris Martin. No, no, no, no. He has to say conscious uncoupling and not have to be about Chris Martin.

Or what is Peltro? Yeah. Who's really hot dude that all the ladies, they want to fucking, talking about wanting a nut, you know, a big old. Yes. So then who is he splitting up with? Well, obvious. I mean, we know he's really. He's splitting up with Lisa Monet.

And who is an actress that he worked with very intimately. It's not Denary's. Isn't she married? Amelia Clark? Yeah. This statement from the, by the way, here's their conscious uncoupling statement. I copy pasted it so I can read it to you guys. We have all felt the squeeze and changes of these transformational times.

A revolution is unfolding and our family is of no exception. Feeling and growing from the seismic shift. shifts occurring. And so we share our family news that we are parting ways in marriage. I mean, I get it. It's a lot. Oh, you're right, though. But since then, fans have gone to Mamo's Instapage and saw signs that he and

Amelia Clark may have been nurturing a budding romance during the time of his marriage strife, starting in August of 2021 with a picture of Clark on his lap and a caption that reads, moon of my life, you are wonderful, love you forever. So there is a little bit of instances of like, ooh, are they, aren't they? But they've been very close for such a long time, and I feel like they've always had that very touchy-ealy relationship also publicly, but I ain't saying I wouldn't watch the fucking check. Yeah, she's a hot.

And he also very, very nobly stepped in when she was having her huge health issues, and was super by her side. I mean, it's hot ch-machi at the very least. Definitely a hot friendship, if nothing else. Yeah, no, really. real sexy friendship. That I just want to sit in, like, on the sidelines

and just kind of watch. Yeah, no, I bet that's that. And he's like, take care of each other. Yeah. We do like this. And she's like, no, we make love in a different one, you know what, you know what? Like the show.

Oh, Godrogo. I thought about Caldrogo. All fucking think about going to wrong. All right. We don't want you to think about that too much, Nick Cannon. Either way.

Moving right along, this A list mostly movie actor has been in and out of multiple movie, who has been in and out of multiple movie franchises and is convinced he is going to make tens of millions of dollars through the scam that more and more celebrities are joining. He's also had a lot of money problems, a big, very public divorce. He looks, he dresses like an asshole.

Didn't we just talk about how Kanye is not doing NFTs? No. He's been in a lot of great movies, but not in a great movie in a long time, a character actor, dresses like a fucking, like a twit, like a man who woke up one day and was like, I would like to actively.

Yes, and what is the scam that everybody is joining these days? We actually talked about it early. Crypt NFTs. Yes, the collection is titled, Never Fear Truth, and features portraits of his friends and heroes, including Marlon Brando, Hunter S. Thompson, and Tim Burton, among others.

The original artwork was created by Depp and then has been embellished and animated into 11,11 NFTs. 25% of the profits, I will say, will be donated to charities. But yeah, he's getting in the NFT game. I guess, confirmed. I also, I was just immediately looked at it,

I was like, I thought that I just saw that he was doing a new, he's playing Louis the 15th fairly soon. And it's just one of those, you know, I guess it's fine. I'd be interested to see him have a big comeback

I mean, he's an incredibly talented actor. And that's a perfect role for him. He needs a lot of help. He needs a lot of help, for sure. He probably needs that first, but I would love to see his big, like, the wrestler type comeback. You know what I mean?

Like, a humble comeback. Wouldn't Louis the 15th be that for him? Like, isn't that a perfectly appropriate role for him to be? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is why I'm like, I will see it. There you go. I'm very curious.

Oh, well, curiosity killed. The brat, didn't it, Jack? Am I the brat or my duh brat, which I'm like, I just, I want to start that, but like mixed with the brat dolls. I do remember when you asked when I came over one day and you were like, um, can you start referring to me as duh Jackie? Yeah. I don't think that's going to work really well. And because you're trying to stymie my inner shine holden. Sorry, duh Jackie.

Are you ready for the final blind item? Duh, that's all say. I mean, pretty much. I mean, pretty, H. Jackie. Doug Jackie. Dill enraged Jackie. That is what I'm so referring you as dog Jackie. All right.

Here we go. The final one. This foreign-born A-Lis singer who is not pregnant will lose her mind when she hears about her boyfriend getting another woman pregnant. A-Lis singer, Foreign. Just came out with a big album. Adele. Has a kid. Yes.

And I don't, do you know the name of her boyfriend? I didn't even know the name of her boyfriend. He's a nameless band for a first. I know he has the name of it's Rich Paul. His name is Rich. Yeah. He's a sports agent, right? Isn't it?

It's like he's something. I know that he's a big guy in whatever field that he works in. All I know is that I, well, this point is alleging that he got someone else pregnant, but also this is from a source close to Adele. Adele and Rich decided a few months ago that they wanted to move in together. It was just a matter of finding the right property. Now that they've found it, the next step is redecorating and turning it into their dream home. She's going to be busy with her residency in Los Angeles, so Rich is going to be handling a lot of it.

He has impeccable taste. They're both thrilled to be jumping into this next chapter together. And they're saying they hope to have a baby on the way by the end of the year, if not sooner, and really complete their family. Can I just talk for a second about how fucking weird these sources close to the person always are? Who the fuck are these people? They all talk the same. They're like, I'm going to completely speak for these two people in every single way as if I just, as if I'm their dog, their pet that lives with them day in and day out. It's like, who the fuck are you?

How do you know what the fuck? These people are, I just keep doing these blinds. And there's always a source close to the people. And they always talk like this. They're like, they're thrilled to be in this new relationship. He's on the road a lot and she's working really hard. But they know they can work. It's like, who talks like?

that. Jackie and Jeff are thrilled to be working on their marriage and Jackie's been plugging away at the podcast game but Jeff has, you know, snake aids. So they don't know. Don't tell everybody. You know what I mean? It's just like

it's so bizarre. Everybody. Do you imagine talking to a reporter about someone else and fucking know? So funny. As someone who just moved, the idea that they're like, oh well, that will be away, but he'll have to do all the be decorating in the dream home.

And it's like, oh, he's going to. He's going to have people come over and, and do it, like, be like, this is what I want. Right, yeah. I love that. He has impeccable taste. Like, who speaks like that? Like, if someone was like, how is Henry and Natalie doing? I'd be like, I don't know.

They're doing pretty good. I mean, it's like, they got this house. They've been kind of working. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't be like, Natalie's working on the interior of their home together right now. She has impeccable taste. The mantling will be done by Henry, but he's a mantler of the highest degree. it's not just this one source

like they all sound like that it's so weird I will say I have read multiple things that we're talking about how Adele recently canceled a lot of her dates and she was saying that it was COVID and that like that they just couldn't get the show together but then a lot of other things have been coming out of

like she was not happy with any of how it was going that she was being a bit of a tyrant about it like all of these conflicting things are coming out but then also on top of it, they, like, are blaming this romance as well, because like you're saying, Holden, nobody fucking knows what's actually going on in her life. You can't speak for her. I can't speak for anybody else and what they are going through in their perspective. So a lot of this shit is bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, I wish the best for her. Right, right. Yeah, for sure. I hope things are going well. And I can see again, so that's really cool. And yeah, I think we made it. We made it to the other side of the blind. So congratulations.

Welcome to the other side. All right, please. Yeah, do you like it? That was good. But now it's time for the shout-outs. You must sing the song. Shout. Shout.

Shout. Let it all out. Okay. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. Gone. We'll read them to show. You. Come on.

Thank you guys so incredibly much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is 7 the number and I love, love, love, love, love here and rum you all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Madison, I'm so proud of you for dusting off the negative cobwebs to celebrate. Madison says, I just wanted to give myself a quick shout out because I've been super fucking negative lately. Life kind of raw dogs me, but I do love me a good raw dog cold, meaty weiner. Anyways, after dropping out of a social work program six years ago for my mental health, I've decided to go back to school. I still want to be in a field where I can help people. Now that I've been through my childhood sexual assault trauma in a less toxic way, I think I want to

help kids who grew up like me. But instead of social work, I want to go into recreation, therapy. I think I'd be able to reach out to kids through things that make them feel comfortable. I totally agree with you, Madison. And I think that that is such a wonderful journey for you. And please let us know how it goes. Thank you so much for writing in. And ah, to our amazing Zosabel from our Twitch community. She needs some positive love from us. Believe me, babe, I too am a slave to the cyclical nature of bullshit as of late. And you fucking got this. We're in it together no matter how alone we all feel. Zoe says, these past two years have been the most challenging in my life. And every time I feel like I finally made it out of one traumatic event, another

thing pushes me back into a depression hole. And because of COVID, I'm turning 28 on the fourth, Happy Elvis' birthday! And the relaxing self-care things I had planned for are not going to happen. It would cheer me up immensely, though, to hear Jackie's beautiful, soothing voice telling me it's going to be okay. I'd be forever grateful. Zoe, Still do whatever self-care things you are able to do. You've got this, babe. Even if it's just a bath, make sure you take that time for yourself on your birthday, baby. You are worth it, and anything we can do for smiles is what needs to be done right now.

I'm proud of you, and happy almost birthday, baby! And too beautiful, Jessica, I hope that you are also having the best birthday. Yay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yay. And how adorable! that even though it is your birthday, you use this shout out to shout out your friend Ellie for her birthday. This makes me so happy, but you deserve a happy birthday as well. So happy birthday, Jessica! Yay! And Jessica says to Ellie, I want to give a fantastical February 1st birthday shout out to my very best friend in the whole world, Ellie. We have been best friends since our freshman year of high school,

20 years, and we'll be celebrating our 35th birthdays together this week. My birthday. days on February 2nd. She's not only a seriously amazing and supportive friend, but an amazing person and talented writer. She's the person I can always go to for support or to just vent. She's the only one who gets all my random movie quotes, especially Billy Madison and Tommy Boy, and who loves page 7 just as much as I do. I don't know what I would do without her, and I truly hope that 2022 is just as badass as she is. And I hope that you both will put her. on in any kind of road trip you could find yourself in

Don't you remember you told me you love me baby but oh you said you're coming back this way again baby baby baby baby oh baby I love you which is what always I think of when I am

quoting Tommy boy 20 times out of the week but I'll continue on I love you guys Happy birthdays. And, oh, our beautiful, sweetest, loveliest Karen, you are never greedy. And congratulations on your sweet little tummy friend. But Karen wrote in to send some extra love to the gorgeous and inspirational Felicity. We love you so much over here, Felicity.

Karen says, I just want to publicly make sure that Felicity knows that she is and always will be one of the best people I have ever known, and nothing will ever change that. Felicity is so kind and gives of herself more generously than what should be expected of anyone. Felicity, you are strong like bull, and I know you can make it through anything you put not just your mind to, but your heart into. Just remember that the only way out is through. I love you, Sugar, and we love you too, Felicity. Thank you again so much, Karen, for writing in. And amazing, beautiful, Chelsea, baby! You know I love a self shoutout, and I'm so, so sorry for all of the bullshit that

you've been going through lately, but I am so beyond happy that you wrote in. Chelsea says that I would love to get a birthday shout-out from you guys as you're my number one go-to podcast when I'm gaming, and the shout-outs are always so fun to listen to because of how much you really seem to actually give a shit, Jackie, because of fucking do, Chelsea, I give a shit about you. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys for really helping a bitch out when dealing with her grief. I've even gotten my husband excited about new episodes of page seven now, which is really just a testament to my unrelenting listening habits. Adapt or die. That's what I always say. Fuck yeah, Chelsea. And hi, Chelsea's husband. We love you

too. You got this, babe. We will keep going. And Chelsea, I hope you feel it in your birthday spirit because you have a birthday twin in the shoutouts. It's bait. Emily wrote in about her bestie Alisa, who also has a February 7th birthday. Emily says, my beautiful Aquarius friend Alisa is turning 26 on February 7th. We've been best friends in sixth grade, almost 15 years together. She probably knows me better than anyone else in my life and is always someone I can turn to when in need of a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to when I just need a rant. We bond over our love of music and art and weed, of course. Elisa is a fantastic bud tender and cat mom of two.

Page 7 is a way we have stayed connected over quarantine. Living three hours apart, we don't get to be in person very often. Not to mention long text discussing Jackie's audiobook of the Twilight series. We love Jackie, but Bella makes us go crazy. I hear you. you guys, and takes us back to when we first met and read Twilight. I don't want to make this too long. Just want to say, I love you, Alisa.

You're an amazing, smart, kind, and creative person. You never cease to light up my life. I hope 26 is the best year yet. Happy birthday! Alisa! And happy birthday, Chelsea! Oh my gosh, double birthdays. And an almost birthday twin,

it's so close. Carly wrote in some love for her bestie Kayla, and your friendship sounds adorable, and I'd like to be a part of it, okay? Carly says, I want to send a shout out to my best friend, Kayla. She turned 26 on February 8th. Oh my God, so close to being an actual birthday twin. And she's one of the best people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. We met in seventh grade, and after bonding in high school choir and drama, we've been close ever since. She was one of the first people I came out to, and she didn't bat an eye. I'll be forever thankful for the love and support in hours-long chats we have. She turned me on to the LPN years ago, and we've been since gone to a few live shows.

We live over five hours apart, but we try to visit each other whenever we can. Happy, happy birthday, Kayla, you're the thug to my lance. I love you. And I love all of you guys. Thank you so much for writing in. sending your whatever's into the page seven, uh, podcast at gmail.com. I get so excited for everything that you guys share and I really appreciate the community that we have built together.

Oh, be good to yourselves. Be good to each other. Oh, you can send it anything to page seven podcasts at gmail.com. Does it make it easier to listen to if I do this? Uh-huh. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this, uh, fun. Fancy, thrill-filled podcast show. That's what I said.

Thank you so much for joining us, and you should totally come and hang out over on our page 7, Patreon. We are starting for our $10 tier members. We are starting to every Thursday night watch Gossip Girl OG from the beginning. We start this week. If you're listening to the episode, the day that it comes out, we start tonight. So come on over to our Discord and we will be able to live watch these episodes with

you. We get to all know each other and I'm very excited about it. And then also, if you ever have time on Tuesdays and Thursdays, come hang out over on Twitch. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. We talk about six on Tuesdays and we bang daddies on Thursdays before our Discord. And then on Sundays we're going to start doing some banging of daddies as well as every other week, gloss, which is gorgeous ladies of streaming with both Carolina Hidalgo Parks and our very

own Alexis Robbins McNally. I also will say about the Discord, even at the $5 layer, there's a lot of fun stuff going on there. We're still adding text channels, so you won't be able to join for the TV watchalongs unless you're at the $10 there. But the $5 layer, you still get access to the Discord patron and can interact in the text channels, which wasn't true for like a day, and then I fixed it. So all $5 members still get to join the Discord. And we've got different channels where you can talk about,

I'm in the Rupall's Drag Race one a lot. So come find me there talking about this current season. There's a Twilight Talk channel. There's Sister Wives. Oh, and I'm going to be starting to talk about Sister Wives. Sob and Rob. Come on in and still join in on the fun over there. And there's also help.

We already got some great mods and folks that can help you get set up. because I know Discord might be slightly tricky up top of learning how to use it, but it's really, I'm loving, I forgot how awesome it is now that we have these other channels up to be able to just, I'm just talking to a bunch of you guys about this season of RuPaul's Drag Ais.

Like, I'm checking that more than I'm checking by your email. So come join me over there. Or anything, and we'll add more DM me too, and I can add more discussion channels. I want to add some other stuff, maybe a general talking TV one, stuff like that. And it's just a great community hub

that's a little more intimate and a little, I think, a little more like positive and fun than maybe some of the other ones out there. So yeah, check it out. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. I'm Jackie Zabrowski and Jack that word you can probably be on Instagram. There you go. Perfect.

Twitch.tv. 4.S. Holdenators ho. Check me out Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. Twitch.com. TV forward slash Holdenatorsho. Jacking with the holidays every Friday. 6 p.m. E.T. M.J. Oh, wow. You're in Nick Cannon's nut jail, Holden.

Oh, no. Oh, it's so sticky in here. Oh, God. Oh, it smells like bleach. My name is MJ and I'm MJK LKT on Instagram. We love you guys. Thank you so much for joining us, and we will see you soon. Bye, everybody.

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